Why is it that some people who put dom on their profile think they can  automatically send rude and disrespectful messages to a submissive person? Do they honestly think submissive type person equals to no brain?  I'm submissive not a doormat to every tom, dick and harry LOL. My Master has earned my Trust, Loyality and Respect!!! and has my total submission!!!  I treat others respectfully however, I do NOT submit to others unless of course my Master wishes it so. With that said IF anyone decides to message me please keep it polite.  I have no wish to see your photo's and neither do I want to be spoken down to. I'm somewhat intelligent and can hold a decent conversation.  I'm just a normal everyday type of person who just happens to naturally have a need to submit to my Master whom I am extremely happy to belong to!!! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

THE NIGHT I MET BRIAN, part 2 He hesitated. I wasn't sure why. Then he said, "But not here. Not on this concrete floor. Not like this. We can't do it upstairs either because this is a friend's house."I caught on quickly. "We could go to my place."He never did fuck me that night. His cock was too big for me to take (at that time), so I played with his cock and the rest of his body, and then fucked him. The rest of the night ended up being pretty vanilla, but I had no complaints. He revealed at that time that he was actually 20, not 25, as stated in his profile. When men lie about their ages, it's usually to make themselves younger, so I had to ask why he'd made his age older. "Would you take a 20yo Dom seriously?" I had to admit, maybe not. Even the one lie he'd told was thoughtful.Brian also turned out to be much more of a sweetheart than his Dom persona. None of the head games or verbal abuse that he'd previously engaged in. We fell asleep in each other's arms in my bed, later joined by my Standard Schnauzer, who adored Brian (a good sign). I woke before Brian and extracted myself to do normal everyday things, like load the dishwasher. Brian awoke with first a start, not realizing initially where he was, then what he described as contentment and a bit of surprise that I hadn't kicked him out after we were done having sex, as he'd so sadly grown used to.Brian and I became romantically involved for 2 years after that. It was fun taking him out on his 21st birthday to all the Seattle bars and clubs that he ultimately found "underwhelming." I had discussed several times with him how our relationship, with its 35-year age difference, couldn't last forever, but we enjoyed each other's company immensely. I even met his parents, which I feared would be awkward, considering I was older than his mother, but they were great, mostly just thankful that Brian was with someone who treated him so well. As our 2-year relationship began to taper off, we transitioned from a conventional romantic role back to kink, and the kink was (and continues to be) much better this time around, considering that we now knew each other intimately, had spent 2 years building trust, and I could now not only take his gargantuan cock (I worried he'd pass out whenever he got an erection because all the blood would go rushing out of his skinny body into his disproportionate penis), but could take it rough. I relocated to Southern Oregon last year, but Brian and I still get together for fun and kink and friendship. The man who ends up as his life partner is going to be a very lucky man indeed. As lucky as I've been for having Brian in my life.

Lately I wake up in the middle of the night and the puppy is snuggled right up to my side. Tonight she had pushed her face into the crook of my neck. I love how much she loves me.  Someone recently asked me for clarification on something in my profile, that if he was to assume the responsibility, what was it that I was responsible for and how would it affect his ability to assume responsibilty? In all this time no one has asked me that. It's a brilliant question. I needed to think about it because my initial reaction was to create a laundry list of what I think I contribute, things like loyalty, honesty, snuggles, nurturing, etc. And then I paused. Those are all things that I do contribute for sure, but it doesn't account for what the other person needs from me, especially to function as person in charge. I will absolutely be and do all of the things I say are my part. And figure out how to be and do what he needs added to my part. Give and take. Relationships take work. Snuggles are the easy part. 

I had a conversation with a friend.  He reminded Me how powerfully dominant I am.  Also that most boys cannot handle what I offer.  i asked him who he thought would be right for Me.  I was amazed he captured him purrfectly.  I am looking for someone at least 50 and up, athletic, handsome, intelligent, needs someone like Me.  He will have his life together and can give us a happy life.  All he needs is Me, after all I am a rare find.  My Friends description is below: I dont see you interested in someone thats a wimp You want an Alpha to give himself to you, and do so completely He will only do that with YOU, not anyone elseYou want him to freely hand over his mind, orgasms, and serve your EVERY whimIn public he will simply appear to be the most doting mate on the planet, bit mentally he will be completely enslaved to you. You both love it this way and wouldnt want it any other way

Most any store you go into now asks you to take a survey when you leave so they know how they can improve. A lot of websites, social media groups, blogs etc, will belittle someone leaving who dares to give feedback about just why. "It's not an airport, you don't have to announce your departure".Those kinds of snarky remarks and the childish attitudes of the users,  are often the main reason someone will decide to cease participating in any particular group. Apparently, those managing these sites don't really care why people stop coming back.I myself don't announce my leaving or the reasons for it, I just go. Sometimes I'll check back in a year or two to see if that bunch of people still exists online and often it is gratifying to see that my judgment was correct and the group is dead or almost so.Now, I'm not planning on leaving CS, but I would like to give some feedback if the owners ever read these journal entries. This site is nearly stagnant and I think the long wait to approve a new profile or change an existing one has a lot to do with it. It's a huge turn-off and block to new members, many of whom will leave if they're not able to participate quickly and will probably forget they even created a profile here after a couple of weeks.So, it's the same people here every time. Nothing against any of them, but if they weren't interested in me the last 25 times I was online, I don't think they are gonna leap to to get to know me anytime soon. We need new blood here to keep things moving or CS risks becoming another uninteresting, moribund website.Okay, it took a long time for me to get there but it's been said. Back to surfing.    

Small Mercies, Longer Days ? It has been one of those stretches where the days stack up against you before you have had a chance to argue with the first one. Nothing catastrophic, nothing worth dramatizing, just the particular grind of too much friction in too many directions at once, the kind of week that does not make good copy but costs you something anyway. A significant loss in the family that required me to help plan funerary rites, and restructuring at work that threatens my position.?I have been moving through it the way I move through everything: upright, standard intact, but aware of the weight. Nothing breaks my stride, only I break things that deserve to be remade, but nothing in these uncertain times holds significant comfort for me (currently).? ? What has saved me, genuinely, is the weather.? ? Spring arrived this week with the specific conviction of something that has been waiting a long time to make its point, and I have been stepping outside just to feel it, that clean particular warmth that does not yet carry the heaviness of summer, where the air still has a crispness underneath the heat and everything green looks almost aggressive in its newness. There is something about spring light in the late afternoon that I find quietly restorative in a way I cannot fully articulate. It simply helps. I will take it. The cherry blossoms at the Field Museum are in bloom, and it's an easy walk. Lake Michigan has also been a close held companion, and was still as glass on Thursday. You could scry on her water like a mirror, and the light filtered through the overcast sky as if fingers were reaching out to dip themselves. It felt greedy to take her in, but I am nothing if not hedonistic.? ? And then there was Artemis, splashing down with the kind of elegant finality that makes you remember the world is still capable of extraordinary things on the days it feels most ordinary. Something about watching that capsule meet the water, the culmination of that much human effort and precision and audacity, pulled me briefly out of my own difficult week and into something larger. I needed that more than I expected to. ? The bad days will pass. They always do. I remain steadfast. Someone recently appraised me when I talked about my resiliency : "As the stars stay lighting the sky".? ? For those of you following the story of the weight of three minutes, the continuation posts tomorrow evening. Come back rested.

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What's Forrest Gumps password?      1forrest1   I am not perfect, I don’t expect those around me to be either. I don’t dwell on mistakes or the past. I choose to move on. We have all stumbled on this venture of finding the right person. Those stumbles do NOT define us. How we work our way through the problem does.  Why do we look for someone else to be perfect?  Are we?  Do we bring baggage to the relationship?We each need to find someone who makes us happy and whole, then lean on each other through the hard times.  Find someone who is willing to meet you halfway and adjust as we grow.  Learn from each other and teach each other.   How long are we willing to look for perfect ?  NEVER accept TOXICITY as acceptable. 

From my group  -re-sharing here - Why language matters. Or, Darmok and Jalad. Jan 30, 2019 I had a reminder this week, (not that this week is that unusual, but some cases are more extreme than others) at how important it is to have a common language in any interaction we have with others. Most of our lives, the average American at least walks around hearing English, speaking English, reading English, and assuming they understand what other people are saying. And vice versa - they assume they are understood. And yet, so much of our attempts to communicate end in misfires.  Often, it's because we don't really care enough about the interaction, and we glide along on autopilot, comfortable in the status quo quality of our interactions. We are usually getting enough of what we need out of it that we often don't even question it. Often, if there's a problem, we make a scene to make it clear that no, that's NOT what we meant, or that isn't what was said to us, etc but unless we feel slighted, or it leads to the loss of something we DO value - a comment made here that loses us a promotion, or a question not answered loses someone's interest, or a tone of voice makes us concerned for a possible loss of status- unless it's serious, it's just anger and fuss and it's over. THEN, it may become a real issue, worth some thought, but by then, it's really too late. The miscommunication has happened, the thought process it started it under way, and a feeling has been had, etc.  Stick with me here.  At it's most basic level, language is how we express a thought. It's pretty common to believe that most of the time, other people from a similar area have similar thoughts to our own about a general variety of things. We expect that they want the same basic things, because we are all human, and most of the people we deal with were raised similarly, and had similar experiences. And that they will use the same words as we do to describe them. That's where the screeching halt comes in.  "Most adult native test-takers range from 20,000–35,000 words." That's a decent vocabulary. It should mean that most of us that speak English will have plenty of words in common to have a discussion and be understood with enough clarity to make it through most common joint activities.  That said, most people don't tend to think too deeply about words themselves. Which means when you start to want more than just "enough to get by" conversation, things can get a bit complicated. And in cases where you need to negotiate something VERY specific, in depth, such as the fine details of kink or what our limits are... suddenly, your vocabulary will not only need to grow, but become very precise.  I'm not seeing that as often as I would expect from the letters I receive. In fact, the majority of people that write me seem frustrated by the need for words at all, and irritated by the requirement that we spend some time talking about anything that isn't a deion of a sex act. Which baffles me... if you are wanting someone to tie you up, do ... THINGS ... to you, while you are helpless, etc, wouldn't you REALLY REALLY want to make sure that the things they want to DO are the same things you want DONE? Wouldn't you be DEEPLY interested in making sure they are the kind of person that honors your Safe Word, or who shares your definition of "honest," or who won't just walk off with your wallet and DVD player while you are tied down, or who won't turn out to be straight up batshit nuts?  I've had another rash of "own me" messages. Interspersed of course with the regular "total sub" offers.  The topic at hand isn't the "I'm a TOTAL sub!" who responds to "ok, go read this for me and tell me what you think" with "What? That's not what I want! I'm a SEXUAL submissive!" Or even the "i want to be ur slave" that can't obey enough to respond to an email on time.  This topic is about the problem that causes that problem in the first place.  I received one this week from a very pretty dick pic with an empty profile that did read enough to call me Domina, but obviously nothing else, so I sent a link to the "First Impressions" thread, and followed with "Consider Your Target Audience." You can guess how it went. Before he got to "Bye, Bitchhhhhh!" he told me he wanted me to "own" him. And he referred to himself as "very kinky like to be watched ! Masterbaiting live turns me on" (Yes, that's how he spelled it.) Meh. No great loss.  Later, sissy under consideration asked if I was at all interested by Dick Pic Guy. Aside from the obvious stunted mentality of thinking his naked dick somehow mattered, he was a good tool to explain the problem of common language/vocabulary.  While being turned on by being watched is very common, and whatever floats your boat, etc that he described himself as very kinky based on that was a VERY clear indicator that we weren't even speaking the same language in regards to kink. Much like the majority of the people that write me, he had an interest in something, and had set out to pursue that, and as it wasn't mainstream, they thought it must mean they were REALLY out there crazy kinky. (Hell, ex-husband number two thought anal was the height of twisted and kinky.) Now, obviously, there was no actual interest in submission, or desire to actually be owned, so there was no point in even considering trying to have a conversation.  However, if there actually HAD been interest, if he had just been a newbie and without clue, there would have been this huge gap of vocabulary to fill in before we could have ever tried to talk about anything more than "go for coffee, get spanked." Before we could get to "what turns you on" there would have had to be the initial "what do you know so far, what have you read, what have you tried" just to see what he MEANT by "kinky" or "spanking" or even "turned on." Did "turned on" specifically mean sexually aroused and only that? Does "masterbaiting" (sorry, but OMG LOLOL) just mean "wrap your hand around your dick and rub up and down with or without lube" because it could mean SO FUCKING MUCH MORE to someone else, and in my mind, doesn't always necessarily include anything physical. Ownership? If we haven't even discussed what the word "submissive" means in depth, how can we possibly try to define "Owned" yet? Are we talking an actual legal arrangement with signed contracts and documentation as regards to property, or do you just like the way the word sounds?  Because that matters to me. All of the delicate nuances of meaning hold POWER. Consent is POWER. I absofuckinglutely want to feel like I OWN you, down to your last molecule, if I am going to have that, and we have to figure out exactly how many molecules you have to give for that to happen.  "You just offered an unknown amount of you don't know what to a total stranger."  If you are handing out candy from a bag in your hand, "take it all" is easy. And taking that whole bag may be easy. Hell, I like candy. Maybe I'll want your candy. However - If you actually have a whole trunkful of candy, and you say "take it all" without sharing that "all" may be a couple hundred pounds of confection, that is going to make a difference. Do I like that candy enough to want a whole trunkful? Will it get stale long before I can eat it all? Are you going to throw a tantrum if I share that candy with a park full of kids, or is it truly mine, to do with as I please? Are you going to pout if I toss i

The House Doctrine of Master George Part 1 of 2 A Journal Entry for the Instruction of Slaves and the Record of My Household Philosophy Preamble To be a slave in my household is to make a deliberate and life-altering choice. This is not casual D/s, nor is it a temporary thrill that fades when the mood passes. It is a structured, enduring commitment where the Master commands completely and the slave obeys without hesitation. This arrangement is built on mutual understanding: the slave gives themselves fully, and in return receives structure, protection, and belonging that few will ever know. The relationship I offer is rooted in the tradition of Total Power Exchange (TPE), but refined through years of leadership, discipline, and the lessons learned from both military command and the guidance of households past. Here, slavery is not a costume worn for a scene — it is a state of being, a way of life. The Five Axioms of a Slave Every slave who serves under me must learn and live by these five axioms. They are the foundation of service in my house, and they are not negotiable. Excellence in Service – A slave serves with excellence in all things while striving always for perfection. Mediocrity has no place here. Truth in All Things – A slave is fully revealing about all matters at all times to the Master. There is no secrecy, no hidden truth. Service Without Reservation – A slave serves without humiliation, hesitation, reservation, embarrassment, modesty, or shame. Their body, mind, and time are all for the Master’s use. Surrender of the Self – Before a slave can surrender to the Master, they must first surrender to themselves, accepting their nature without resistance. Property of the Master – A slave is property; therefore, their Master’s pleasure and use come first and foremost in all things. The Benefits of Being My Slave To kneel for me is not to lose yourself — it is to find the truest version of who you are meant to be. Under my collar, a slave gains far more than they surrender. Structure and Stability In my house, you will never wonder where you stand. Rules are clear, discipline is consistent, and leadership is unwavering. There is no confusion about your role or purpose — you will always know exactly what is expected of you. A Defined Identity Once I claim you, your identity as “slave” becomes absolute. It is not a game, not a temporary title. It becomes who you are, and in that identity, you will find clarity and certainty. Protection and Security My authority is both shield and sword. Under my command, you are guarded from outside harm, defended against disrespect, and guided through life’s storms. My rules are not just for control — they are for your safety and well-being. Growth Through Discipline I am not a Master who allows stagnation. I will push you to improve, to master new skills, to refine your service until it reaches the standard I demand. Weakness will be stripped away. Strength will be cultivated. A Bond Deeper Than Equals I will know you in every detail — your habits, your triggers, your limits, and your strengths. Our connection will be forged through shared trials, daily service, and unbroken loyalty. This bond will not be casual; it will be absolute. Belonging to Something Greater This is not a solitary arrangement. My household is a structure with hierarchy, purpose, and unity. As my slave, you join something larger than yourself. You contribute to the maintenance, honor, and legacy of this house. ******* see part 2 of 2 for the rest

Let's seeee.... okay. Ideal setup    Im looking for someone that is 1000% supportive of me and HRT.  I wish to find a place where I can mentally dissolve who I currently am and evolve into a genuine bimbo sissy trans doll. And yes I used sissy and trans in the same sentence. Is it possible.  Yes. Sissy referring to ones submissive girly play toy. And trans doll as in well. Me :). Petite smooth tight body.  Speaking of body. Let's talk about that.  So apparently I have an exotic one of a kind body .... I know right. Hard for me to believe it too :p. Anywho. I'm very very very great full for having it and would love to put it to use where I can generate climaxual pleasure for anyone. What do I mean by this ... well idk to be honest. But I'd like to have gym access and/or an encouraging person that help maintain the motivation to get as sexy and as feminine as I could get.  Minus the bottom surgery. Yes u read right.  Not going to do any cutting off down there. However. I am open to some body modz to a certain extent. Of course nothing deforming or any such thing. (Please don't ask what) if anything asking if I'm open too.. whatever ur kinky desire is. And I'll let u know if I'd be willing.  Anywho. Um so yes. I tend to be a little high on the kinky side.  Which is a very VERY Vague statement. However let's just say. I really really do truly enjoy seeing the satifaction one get from doing/not doing/ treating or being a certain way with me.  Again very vague not trying to get into detail just showing u the willingness I have to satisfy you. Umm so. With that been said.    I seek someone who will take me in own me collar me and use me for their twisted pleasure.  How far am I willing to go. Ask. Me. But it just how far am I willing to go lol. Ask me how do I feel about this or have u done things like that.  What about if we xyz. . But umm okk so yaw.  Truly one of a kind here. Appearley something very very special. An amazing eye candy. Incredibly smart. I credavly capable of achieving ur satifaction :). I like to be told/force. Made to submit my body for ur pleasure lol. Ummm.    Well yawww. Serious inquires please. I'm ready to purchase a round trip ticket to you.  Where towards the end we'll see if I should stay. Or go. No games no bs.  If ur catfish fake poor hugene ethic or manors I will initiate blan b.  I ask please no hard feeling.  We're all chasing that life we have in our mind  .idk if any of this came out the way I inted as in ur understanding but I like to post genuine articles that flow right. Off the top of my head. I feel its more genuine since there is a not much time to contemplate the topic potentially leading to an influenced decision other the my own  thanks for readjng 

I’ve been looking at what fills my messages lately—and I have questions. Too many hollow approaches. No restraint. No awareness. No sense of tone. Just presence without purpose. And I don’t believe that happens in isolation. So I’ll ask it directly— What are you cultivating? Because the men arriving in my space reflect the environments they’ve been allowed to exist in. If they lack restraint, if they lack discipline, if they don’t understand how to approach with intention… that didn’t come from nowhere. That was permitted. Reinforced. Played with. And I’m not interested in inheriting the result of that. There’s a difference between engaging and indulging. If you that line long enough, you create men who don’t know how to regulate themselves. Who think access is casual. Who mistake attention for acceptance. And then they arrive… unrefined. I find that disappointing. Because the standard, for me, has always been clear. The men—and women—who serve me operate at a different level. There is restraint. There is awareness. There is composure. I don’t lower myself to meet chaos. And I don’t invest in weakness. So this is a challenge as much as it is a statement— Be honest about what you’re building. Be intentional about what you encourage. Because what you allow will always show up somewhere. And right now… it’s showing up in my messages. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

I regularly get messages asking me what I consider edge play or what is an "extreme" scene that I have done. A few thoughts on this. First, and most importantly, my adventures are no one else's fapping material. I have met people off this site before, but that is more of an exception than a regularity. Sharing something like a story, which is very intimate, or a scene, is asking a lot right off the bat and is something that no one is entitled to. What is considered edge is going to be different for each of us? I am not here to one-up on someone or compare sausages. What is taboo to me? Having someone viewing another person on camera might not seem hardcore, but having cameras set up 24/7 to view on-demand is.  Going out to dinner may not seem hardcore, but my footing the bill can be edgy. Humiliating play may not be edgy, but when you consider mental health, it can be as sharp as a physical knife edge. If you are not on the same wavelength as I am, you will miss the subtleties of how sharp my edge is. 

POWER  Whenever a person applies for a position, we usually make inquiries into their references and previous work performance.  From thiswe get first hand input on job performance, teamwork, punctuality, adherence to company policy and so on.   Let's take a look at the references of some of the top aides and cabinet members regarding Former President Trump... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Republicans_who_oppose_the_Donald_Trump_2024_presidential_campaign Previous... VICE PRESIDENT PENCE! National Security Advisor Dir. National Intelligence TWO Secretary's of Defense Secretary of Homeland Security TWO National Security Advisors Secretary of the Army And the list just goes on and on and on and on.   People need to do some serious homework and stop reading one word signs at the red light. https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/War/Bob-Woodward/9781668052273 https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Rage/Bob-Woodward/9781982131746 https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Trump-Tapes/Bob-Woodward/9781668028148 https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Fear/Bob-Woodward/9781501175527

Noone Owes You A living In the last few weeks, I've learned a lot of painful lessons. Top of the list is learning that no matter how solid you may think something is, no matter how well built and diligently assembled you may feel it is, no matter how recently it's solidity was tested and found good and true, that something can fail with breathtaking speed. Literally here today, gone tomorrow. As a consequence, I find myself amazed that I STILL have to learn not to put too much reliance on one thing. We all need supports, we all need things and people in our lives that matter to us and who we matter to, but the lesson is that such things and people must, by virtue of necessity, be a plural. If we become too reliant on a single support then we run the risk that, should that support fail us then we fail with it. The collapse can be dangerous mentally, emotionally and physically because not only is so much of our structure built on that support, but there's not a huge amount left to work with when it's gone. So spread the load, don't put too many eggs in one basket and, whatever you do, don't put all the eggs in one basket. Secondly, and equally surprising that I STILL haven't learned it, is that as much as we want to be good for others and to show them love and support and kindness, we have to also do that for ourselves. We must remember to be an advocate for and believer in ourselves before we attempt to do those things for another. I feel this is for two reasons. Firstly, if we cannot be for ourselves what we seek to be for others, how much value does what we offer actually have in our own eyes? How can we offer ourselves to another if we don't think we have much value and, in truth, don't actually want or like our self? Isn't that basically re-gifting the shitty present you got for Christmas or a birthday, and if it is what kind of a way is that to treat or see either ourselves or the person we offer ourselves to? Aren't we essentially saying that we hold them in such high regard we want them to have something we don't value or like or have a use for? Secondly, assuming we do value our own love and support and kindness, we must always keep a personal stash of it just for our use. We must do this  otherwise we risk the damaging, diminishing effaspects of someone taking those valued parts of ourselves and, instead of giving us the best of them in return, suddenly deciding they've had their fill and they're moving on. We are left not just lacking in the resources we need to function in their absence, but also knowing that we only have ourselves to blame for assuming that just because we wanted the best for them doesn't mean they're obliged to want the best for us. And if they did once, we have no right to assume they will continue to do so just because we want them to. The third lesson is simple; people change, and nothing changes people like other people. We are all dynamic, constantly evolving and constantly discovering new places we want to go and new people want to be with and new people we want to become. And if that holds true for others then by definition it can and should hold true for us. We are not who we were, we are not really who we because really we're just constantly becoming who we will be. In the face of that, stability is an illusion and the only person we can and should truly depend on is ourselves. Everything and everyone else is temporary in our lives. We are permanent. And the last lesson is a cliche. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

What annoys me more than anything is people who don't read. I know you're not used to people like me who are straightforward and values every second they have, but get on my level or leave me alone. I created a detailed profile to spare the need to repeat myself or waste valuable time. I know exactly what I want and I know exactly what I don't want. If you lack the cerebral firepower to comprehend an Alpha Fem of my caliber, that's your problem. Don't approach me if you didn't read my profile. Stop expecting me to go out of my way, repeat myself, overexplain, or lift a finger for that matter. I'm SERIOUS. I am seeking the path of least resistance ONLY. My life will be easy breezy no disruptions moving forward.    As a full time artist and creative maker, I support myself 100%. No side jobs, hustles, or schemes. Therefore, come correct or don't come at all. Getting all of these messages from beta men expecting me to go out of my way. If you want your fantasy fulfilled, seek elsewhere. It's ALL ABOUT ME. It's MY WAY OR GET TO STEPPIN. If you don't drive, don't even bother. If you are poor or struggling financially, mentally, emotionally, or physical, skip me. If you can't keep yourself together, aint no way you can add value to my life. I'm grounded. Aware. And capable of continuing ON MY OWN til I find the right ones for the mission. ✌🏽

They'll have you tied up and spanking you one day and then tell you that they've not got time to pursue this the next... Just be on your guard. xx