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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Slave, 31,  London, United Kingdom
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metalmiss

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Friends:
KellytvCockneyAndypinkwindIsabelle127velvet31
MistressOfGaplasmacRavenMuseMasterAmoralLordOverload
MrEdgeVolcanicSparkscjdreamcatchernovabunnyMsDeviatrix
dkleathergimpnellxivyxlittleladyvillenTopthoughts1
AngelDeVilleDarkandStormyUKStarbuck827UKMordenMasterHistemptress
SoulkissUK

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"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~ Anais Nin
Parts of this profile confuse even me.. But life is never without it's own sick sense of humour.. Neither am i.
However you may judge me from this one scribble on a page, we are all just the sum of our parts. The total sum of my parts is Owned, Controlled & Regulated by Himself - Mr Starbuck827 - If You can't respect that, walk on by.
What am i?
Here are a few things and facts i thought of that pretty much describe me:
  • Feisty and cheeky to a fault.. but never bratty..
  • Physically and emotionally masochistic..
  • i'm a total degradation slut..
  • i'm a total slut..
  • i'm a totally discerning slut..
  • i like it rough would be an understatement..
  • Intricate rope bondage bores me.. Unless i'm twisting myself out of it..
NB - The above statement is incorrect, i am now interested in predicament rope bondage - with Him.
  • i find articulate people fascinating..
  • i bite.. You have been warned..
  • The world's worst doormat.. Because i couldn't even possibly be mistaken for one..
  • i'm regularly completely inappropriate..
  • Constantly fluctuating and evolving.. i subscribe to the belief that we are all far too complex to fit in any one box. i hate the 'cookie cutter' mentality.. Our differences can be astounding.. and beautiful.
  • i consider myself to be somewhat of an acquired taste..
  • Totally unequivocally insane..
  • i love to dance along the line, but i will never knowingly cross it..
  • i'm extremely shy and i blush excessively..
  • i have a very smutty sense of humour, an extremely filthy mind and i love it.
"Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you." ~ Sarah Mclachlan At my heart, I am a slave.. It's something that I've been running from for far too long.. It burns deep inside me.. It is my blessing and my curse in many ways.. And while a lot of my life would appear on the surface to be a huge contradiction to some.. It's no less who I am and it never will be.
I was drawn to this place by a visceral need, not just to get myself off.. For me this is a way of life.. I live it, I breathe it.. It's very rare I've found anyone that could tame me.. But those who have I will always cherish and be thankful to in a way that I could never find the words to express.. Though I don't think that I will ever stop trying. "There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another’s soul bare, and the power to stand naked." ~ Yaldah Tovah My interests are diverse.. i've met very little that i wouldn't jump at the chance to do again.. and life is always throwing up new things to try.. i encourage myself and i indulge myself regularly.. Which is exactly why my fetish list on here reads like war and peace.. I can resist anything except temptation of course.. Different people can bring out various and often contrasting aspects of me.. But that's the beauty of people.. i'm passionate.. i love nothing more than passionate, intelligent people.. A pretty face will turn my head, but it takes far more to hold my attention. i'm strong.. i'm independent.. i don't suffer fools.. Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her. - Marquis de Sade - Philosophy in the Bedroom (1795).
What am i looking for?

Nothing. In recent developments i find myself to be an Owned girl.. Fallen to my knees before the very wonderful Starbuck827.. As whirlwind and unintentional as it pretty much always is.. I've found my place in the world and i'm very happy and content here.. He inspires me, gives amazing cuddles and breaks me in the most delicious ways.. Otherwise, I'm here to keep in touch with friends.. New and old..
That said, i'm always happy to chat to anyone and intelligent conversation is always welcome.. This last couple of years I've been busy finding myself again, spreading my wings and growing in a funny kind of shrinking way that could only be attributed to my fuzzy logic.. ~cheeky grin~ So yeah.. that's me! Like Marmite.. Love me or hate me.. I ain't going anywhere! Tickling strawberries around these parts since I dragged my arse onto the interweb..
"I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.” ― Omar Khayyam

Username:

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 metalmiss

 Female Slave

 London 

 United Kingdom

 5' 9"

 31

 Hetero

 Caucasian

 05/04/05

 10/13/20

Actively Seeking:

Friends Only

 Lives For:

 Mental Bondage

 Intellectual Discourse

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Loves:

 Local BDSM Community

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Journal Entries:
5/17/2014 11:50:11 AM

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden


2/28/2014 9:22:39 AM
~purring~ had such a lovely meet last night.. You know who you are.. Delicious.. and SO much to look forward to!

6/20/2013 9:13:16 AM

Loving that feeling of being alone in the shower and realising how covered in bruises I am.. That ache in my bones for more and the bliss of having it all.. ~purring~


4/9/2013 3:09:06 PM

Time for an update here I think.. Currently surrounded by the most wonderful friends, lovers and playmates that a girl could wish for.. Not in the least by far my Partner, for putting up with me.. So counting my blessings and enjoying being lost in living.. ~smiles~ Rediscovering parts of myself thought long lost in the tumble of growing up and rude awakenings.. It's good to be me!


9/27/2012 10:22:32 AM

Having some me time.. looking at my life options and re-evaluating my presence here, the temptation it presents, my priorities, wants, needs desires.. so it may take some time to respond to messages.. Hope everybody is happy and good though and I will be back soon, promise! 

 

xx


1/7/2012 2:59:48 PM

It's a long, long time since i updated this with anything more than just another quote.. but..

 

Another year.. another fresh start.. fresh hope..

 

Breath holding will commence shortly.


7/17/2011 3:28:19 PM

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.” ~Anais Nin


6/21/2010 4:16:12 AM
Well i just had an amazing weekend.. 4 months now since i started seeing a certain Somebody.. Funny how it seems like longer and less at the same time.. But i never seem to stop learning things from Him about myself.. ~floaty happy smile~

5/22/2010 8:25:47 AM
~grins~ Went to a rave in Brixton last night with a special Somebody.. It was amazing.. and an experience thats definitely to be repeated.. Try anything once as they say.. Wired today.. Life is good.. 

5/7/2010 2:18:17 PM
Added a new picture last night, i took it yesterday evening because i don't have enough pics of me smiling.. and i don't want to ever forget being so happy as i'm generally feeling right now..

And its 2 weeks today until the gig, can't bloody wait! ~grins and bounces~ Have never been to a rave before.. Should be.. Interesting..

Life is good folks :)

4/22/2010 6:15:17 PM
Well.. Much is still happening.. The weeks have been flying by.. i can barely believe that April is almost over.. Last i checked i was sure it was February..

So possibly still a touch of NRE in there.. But this poly thing is definitely me.. and certainly seems to be working.. Even though i never even knew i was looking for it.. Go figure.. Strange how these things always happen when you least expect them.. No complaints here however.. ~winks~

Currently a *very* spoiled, purring, content, happy, constantly floaty girl with a grin that can't be shifted.. and all because not only do i have a Master who understands, supports and guides me.. and is generally the best.. But i also because i have a wonderful Boyfriend and right now the whole world seems so new and exciting.. *and* He has a better half who is as much of a culture slut as i am! ~grins~

Like i said.. Spoiled!

3/13/2010 3:45:12 PM
There's been a lot happening these last few weeks.. and i feel like i'm still catching up.. But i'm a *very* happy girl.. ~soft grins~

xx

2/6/2010 1:16:50 AM
Out of London and spending a few days catching up with friends... Gawd it feels good..

Just browsing the profiles on here and had to wonder.. Is it just me who finds the words "anal play" and "fisting" in the same sentence slightly disturbing..?

~shudders and wanders off~

12/14/2009 12:25:56 PM
Dear Santa, 

i've been a very bad girl this year.. Please don't forgive me.. i am obviously in need of discipline and correction by way of encouragement..

~grins~

xx

12/13/2009 8:24:01 AM
Yay! Collected my baby (SLR) from Jessops yesterday.. Freshly repaired, cleaned and serviced.. Be warned world! You are no longer safe! ~chuckles~

12/8/2009 9:24:27 AM
Just been reading through all of my old journal entries.. Jeez.. i didn't realise i say so much.. Was a good giggle though.. Especially the hot poker bit.. girl has few good memories from that time in her life.. It was nice to be reminded of one.. ~smiles softly~

i wish this rain would go away.. i want Master to be better and the constantly unsettled weather is NOT helping ~sighs~ Right now i wouldn't care if it never rained again.. i just wish it would make its mind up!!

Feeling good today though despite that.. ~grins and blushes~ Have been speaking to Somebody who.. Shall We say.. Piques my interest.. from a 'what i am seeking' perspective.. So will have to see how that goes.. Feeling intrigued and excited..

i won't go on.. There's been so much happening in my life recently.. girl gets dizzy sometimes.. ~chuckles~

i think i have a big blog coming.. i have this overwhelming urge to just open myself up completely with words, but currently a frustrating inability to express it.. i think they call it writers block.. Though i probably won't post it here.. Have a feeling it might be a teensy bit more personal than that! hehe..

Have fun all! xx

11/20/2009 2:23:47 PM
Currently celebrating a very special day.. 2 whole years since i was swept off of my feet in utter bliss, with a depth of submission i had never dared to dream of.. Not at least until meeting a certain..

Mr RavenMuse

~smiles softly~


xx

11/17/2009 10:53:32 AM
Oh my beautiful liar.. Oh my precious whore.. my disease, my infection.. i am so impure.. 

9/15/2009 4:19:23 PM
Now one very well inked, sore, happy, bouncy girl.. ~smiles blissfully~ Somehow i get the feeling i will never be the same again.. ~chuckles~ Proud girl!

9/14/2009 7:55:13 AM
Having my first tattoo tomorrow! Can't wait!! woot! ~bounces~ 

9/4/2009 5:45:15 AM
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind,
hang it on a shelf in good health and good time,
tattoo's of memories and dead skin on trial,
for what its worth it was worth all the while..

8/29/2009 8:03:53 AM
The quality and quantity of the trolls on this site never ceases to amuse me..

Some tips from our sponsor..

i am Owned, that means that i have no interest in travelling to the other side of the planet so i can be your very own personal doormat..

When i say i seek somebody local i mean it. i am a REAL LIFE person, not a cyber junkie.. Sorry boys..

NO - my Master does NOT want to whore me out.. Sure.. Everybody has a price and all that.. But unless your name is Bill Gates, you can't afford this girl..

Playing by the rules is a good start.. But that doesn't automatically mean there's chemistry. i'm a slave, not an automaton..

If the local BDSM community is a hard limit for you, we are not going to get on.. End of story.

Being nice and polite is fine as a start, but if by the third memo you are asking me, out of the blue, what gets me off sexually.. Then you just wasted your time and mine, because you obviously have no idea what this is about.

Cynical? Moi? How un-twoo of me.. ~winks~

Just to clarify.. If you think this journal entry means i'm not submissive, you really do have no idea..

xx

8/13/2009 7:29:27 AM
I don't know what I am, I don't know where I've been..
human junk, just words and so much skin..
stick my hands through the cage of this endless routine..
just some flesh caught in this big broken machine..

5/29/2009 11:21:02 AM
Having a blissful Friday evening.. Listening to Bob Marley and slipping into what is (hopefully) going to be a nice relaxing weekend.. It will be a relief because there's so much going on in my head right now that internally i seem to have become a contradiction to myself in so many ways. ~sighs~ i have been silent for a long time, for good reason, i just wish i had the words.

2/27/2009 1:39:59 PM

Well, it has come up in my blogs over the last couple of weeks that something was on its way.. A little something that was never far enough from my mind to be left out from the moment it was ordered.. After being under instructions not to tell anybody what exactly it was, something incredibly frustrating in itself to say the least.. The time has come to finally let the proverbial cat out of the bag..


Because today, following a drama i am somehow rather glad i missed.. Master screaming down the phone at somebody from UPS, because, having tracked it on its journey all the way from Germany, He found it had been signed for by somebody He had never even heard of.. Who it turned out works in the bike shop downstairs.. It finally arrived..


It, as by the title of this blog you have probably guessed, was this girl’s Full Formal Collar..


Originally it was discussed in July last year, ~vividly remembers standing out on the balcony, warm summer evening, trying to portray a picture of calmness as she squirmed gleefully inside at the thought~ Master felt that We had reached a point where it was appropriate.. Since then life has been busy, and having come to the conclusion that nothing We could find here in the UK would fit the bill or match the standard He was looking for, He decided that We had waited long enough and it was time to brave the postal service.. Not easy when you live in a flat with a shared front door in a place where things like to mysteriously go walkies.. Needless to say that reliable is something that it sure isn‘t ~chuckles~


For Him it isn‘t a huge deal, in His words it does little more than physically represent how far We have already come.. Which is very true.. But He isn’t one to get overly bouncy or excited about anything, not that this is a bad thing because often His level-headedness has kept this girl from making mistakes and getting hurt.. His collar to me is a huge thing.. Never before have i accepted one.. Worn them for play and events occasionally, but never with any actual meaning.. They would always come off quickly and without fuss..


Wearing His collar changes nothing about who or how We are, but for years i have always maintained that it would be the closest for me that i ever want to get to marriage.. It is a physical representation of the deeply founded, realistic, lifetime devotion that i have made to a very special Man.. It has a meaning that touches me on many levels.. And unlike those that have gone before it, it isn’t going anywhere.. Stainless steel, mirror finish, made to measure and locked.. Not something easily forgotten as its weight rests so delicately, clinging to my neck snugly.. A constant reminder of what i am to Him and what that means to me.. The Dynamic i am honoured to share.. This girl has a feeling that it will bring warmth and comfort on even her darkest days..


Kneeling, naked before her Master, eyes closed, head held high with an ache that had been building since that long passed summer evening.. she held back happy tears as He removed the heart shaped necklace He had put there not long after this began.. Felt so intensely her nudity for those few seemingly endless moments before the cold steel embraced her throat, listened intently to the sharp clicks as it was locked into place.. Smiling softly, soaking in every tiny detail in one of the happiest days of her life.. she took in the question posed to her and answered it without hesitation, “Who Owns you girl?” .. “You Master”.. And finally her whole world trembled in that moment as His lips met hers and all of her dreams came true..


Thank You Master.. This girl will wear Your collar with the pride it deserves..


~blushes~


Your girl


xxx


1/19/2009 5:13:50 PM
Currently giggling to herself.. as one of the profiles that came up when she hit home has two very similar pics on it in different poses.. And if she keeps pressing the next picture button she can make him do the okey-cokey.. ~giggles manically to herself~

Oh the things that can amuse this girl in the wee hours of the morning.. xx

12/12/2008 9:14:47 PM
Well.. There we go.. One re-written and re-vamped profile.. Only took me a week to write it ~smiles~

Have fun all xx

11/5/2008 4:23:26 PM
~smiles softly to herself~

Today is my Masters birthday.. And a day to try and help Him to see how special He really is.. i care for Him deeply.. Last year i was His late birthday present.. Arriving just under 2 weeks late as a potential play partner.. Broken from the life i had already in my heart left behind.. Something clicked and i never left.. His in mind, body and soul.. Even before We sat down to drink the coffee i had come for.. He painstakingly fixed something that i thought could never be mended, restored my long lost confidence and taught me to trust with my eyes open.. For that i am afraid i will never find the words to tell You how thankful i really am..

To Daddy,

Happy Birthday..

All of my love,

Your sazzy xxx

11/4/2008 12:56:37 PM
*giggles to herself*

Just to clear the air.. The comment i made about people viewing my profile and not saying hello.. Was tongue in cheek.. Not a complaint.. i certainly didn't write it looking for suggestions or half cocked 'advice'..

Some have recommended that if i'm not using my profile to find a partner any more.. i should 'hide' it.. These people either haven't actually bothered reading my profile, or haven't the intelligence to understand what's written there..

Others have suggested that my Master's words at the beginning of it are off-putting to those who would approach me.. Which again only goes to show their lack of understanding.. If the words of my Master are enough to put you off.. Then you're not the kind of person i seek here.. In short, my Master is, of course, the most important element of my life. i am an Owned girl, if you can't accept and respect that, then as far as i am concerned you aren't worth speaking to.. That's just the way it is.. If you find that to be an issue, do me a favour, move on to the next profile and don't bother me with it.. Your problems are your problems.. Not mine.

i am here to keep in touch with friends and to make new ones.. i am also passively seeking a potential play partner. That much is stated in my profile for those who are inclined to read that far.. But i'm far from desperate and seek to establish a friendship BEFORE speaking about taking things any further.

Oh yes.. i do speak my mind.. How 'unsubmissive' of me.. Right?

9/14/2008 7:17:43 AM
*grins* All these people keep viewing my profile.. but nobody's saying hello.. Cat got your tongue perhaps? i don't bite you know.. x

4/15/2008 8:26:26 AM
Just started getting used to the forums in the last week or two since my Master sparked my interest. i am really getting into it and have started to see a whole new side to a site which i had previously not thought much of (this one).

i guess the only reason i didn't before came down to my lack of self asteem as far as what i thought my opinion was worth.. He has convinced me that i DO actually have something worth saying.
The past couple of years have been trying on my ability to "think" even, so i find posting difficult at times.. But its quickly getting easier.

The future's bright :) xx

1/1/2008 7:17:55 AM

Sitting here, looking back on that last 12 months.. 2007.

Where it began.. where it has left me.. and all of the highs and lows it has brought inbetween.. thinking on the lessons that have been learned.. sometimes with joy, many with tears.. 2007 was to me in many ways, a growing time.

At the beginning of this year i knew only a couple of the people i am now closest to in my life.. lived almost 100 miles from this place.. and i was.. all and but.. a different person.. a person hiding from the world behind the various masks and layers i had built around me.

During the last year, many people have touched my soul in ways i cannot even begin to describe.. To the friends who stood strongly by me while my universe collapsed.. on more than one occasion in my journey to find what turned out to be myself.. thankyou. Endless late night conversations, the hours of listening, the shoulders on which to cry shamelessly.. From the bottom of my heart.. thankyou. Without you all, i would have found myself truly lost. You know who you are.

Finally a message for the future - something we should all remember..

"Work as if you have no money. Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last"

Anonymous

i hope 2008 brings with it true happiness to you all..

Best wishes,

sazzy xxx


11/30/2007 6:09:06 PM
Owned by Ravenmuse

Folks should be getting used to this now, when I take on a girl to this level I have access to ALL of her life... including here.

I welcome her having friends. Friends respect her and respect the fact she is Owned... dims and trolls however WILL be dealt with... I have no need to be PC, or 'give them the benifit of the doubt' or whatever... one mistake and block/delete/ignore!

8/19/2007 4:59:49 PM

todays randomness in random order..

wood and nails and shoes and hammers and nipples and pictures and gloves and booze and fishfingers..

amen.


3/5/2007 9:04:28 AM

Well i spent 3 hours of today wandering around the wonderful centre of Leicester.. and it was very interesting indeed x

I must say of all the places in all the world i could really fall in love with there.. Having never been before i felt like i could just disappear in the maze of streets and alleyways. I so love that feeling.

THAT and i found Forbidden Plant and bought a Gizmo from Gremlins!! It whizzes around and plays music when i shout at it..

Ok ok.. so you might not all appreciate the sentiment.. but i did love that movie!!

xx


3/1/2007 10:33:59 AM
Ummm good evening and welcome to the world of Sazzy et al..

If you're reading this then you are probably bored.. so ummm WAKE UP!!!

Today was interesting indeed but so have been the last few days. Perhaps things indeed are changing?!?!?!

A girl can only hope..

We all know hopes are the dreams of the naieve.. but without them we have nothing..

Before i go a question for you all.. why is it when you actually DO something exciting in your life.. noone will believe you? *grins*

2/27/2007 12:49:36 AM
Paul McKenna says YES!!!!!!

Still coming down from last night's play doing needles and staples with some good friends.. It was sooooooo yummy!!

Fantastic night! Apart from the bit where i was sobered up from my vodka induced lunacy by being chased around the garden and down the street by a Dom with a glowing poker.. then ending up on my backside in the mud!!

I so SO should exercise more care when opening my mouth.. it always seems to get me in trouble

12/20/2006 5:07:57 AM
its been a long time since i posted on this.. so.. umm.. christmas is coming.. the goose is getting fat and all that jazz.. umm.. dont know what else to say really.. its all a bit mental.. still not ready for christmas but im not panicing... honestly..

Mwah xxx

9/20/2006 4:56:19 PM
Hey all,

And this week i have been mostly playing.. monopoly.. yeah.. right..

Actually i havent played that in years.. but i did have an interesting first experience at Hades thanks to friends and im currently relaxing at my mums house in Doncaster for a couple of weeks and i miss Him so much :(

They say it will do us good..

7/31/2006 10:51:32 AM
i have a new addiction.. having my toes sucked!!! i discovered this in the Dungeon at Kinkfest when a very nice sub male i bumped into politely asked if he could.. and oh my god.. its fabulous..

So if theres any sub males out there who just wanna come lick my toes.. let me know.. GRIN..

7/4/2006 3:54:09 PM
Of all the gunk.. in all the world.. why cod liver oil and malt? just why? **heaves**

6/14/2006 9:52:25 AM
What justice is there in the world.. when One who makes you feel so complete.. makes you feel so hollow?

5/31/2006 10:24:33 AM
If any other man had hurt me, as deeply as You have hurt me.. i would be long gone by now..
If any other man had betrayed my trust as cruelly as You have.. i would have long ago forgotten Him..
But You are not any other man..

The depth and strength of what i feel for You terrifies me.. because i cannot feel ill of You..
No matter how much i want to hate You sometimes.. i am incapable of feeling anything but love for You.. there is a connection here that i cannot explain.. nor do i wish to.. because to try would be futile..

The simple fact is this.. i am Yours and i am complete.. i guess im a masochist.. so it stands to reason that my happiness will never be without a sense of suffering.. **smiles**

when all is said and done, i am but a girl.. and this girl rarely thinks of anything other than pleasing You..

i love You my Sir xx

5/31/2006 10:01:56 AM
"It is a strange feeling," she said, "to know that someone - truely - is your Master, to know that not only has He the right to do with you as He pleases but that He will, that your will is nothing to Him, that it is your will and not His that must bend, that you are helpless and must - and will - do what He says, that you must obey." - Pg 203-204 Priest-Kings of Gor

5/26/2006 2:56:08 PM
What is it with the whole world being devoid of inspiration lately? i need inspiring.. please.. someone.. anyone.. help.. before my head explodes and i am forced to retreat back under my rock and die.. everything feels so dull lately.. i do wonder just lately.. what am i?

5/18/2006 1:30:50 AM
OK... just to get things perfectly straight and in the open.. i am NOT looking for a Dominant partner.. regardless of whether You are male or female.. with all due respect.. i am not interested.. i have a Partner.. and im very happy..
HOWEVER i am bisexual, and if you happen to be a bisexual subby looking for some fun and friendship.. get in touch.. i would love to hear from you.. long shot i know.. but still.. i can dream.. :)

4/15/2006 7:56:58 AM
The Sexiest thing in the world to me is kissing.. i LOVE it.. nothing turns me on more than a long lingering passionate kiss..

There is nothing that makes me feel more empty.. than sex without something so simple  as a kiss..

4/7/2006 7:34:24 AM
currently riding the rollercoaster of life and feeling very ill indeed.. why does my life insist on being a soap opera.. all i wanna do is relax, chill out, be happy and rest a while.. so much to ask?? lol.. i've gotta laugh.. or i'd never stop crying..

3/16/2006 2:46:42 PM
Surely it would be easier to go back beneath the rock i crawled out from under than feel this pain..

ignorance is bliss..

xx

2/22/2006 1:57:35 PM
Inner peace hides in the most unlikely places and memories..

My faith has been restored and ive found the answer to my mind's persistent questions..

Its time to live life for here and now.. not what has or might happen.

And for the benefit of a new friend..

No.. i'm not a doormat.. i never was.. i just needed to find myself again.. and thankYou for helping to open my eyes..
you know who you are hun xx

2/21/2006 11:28:04 PM
now the dilemma..
to go back and hide under my nice little rock for another 3 years or so.. or not..
i dont think i was really ready for all this...
maybe coming back was a mistake..

i dont know what to make of all of this.. where i am.. what im doing.. even what i am anymore to a degree.. is it all worth the emotional torment of pretending its all ok?

xx

2/21/2006 11:02:29 AM

Once lost, can trust between 2 people be rebuilt? Truely? We shall see i guess.. this old world is a strange place indeed..
i feel like i've aged 10 years in the last month.. and its mental.. i just hope this ride slows down a little soon or i want off.. lol..

i cant run away from what i am.. and all men are wankers.. go figure.


2/13/2006 5:20:12 PM
Happy Valentines Day One and All..

i hope You all have a good one.. exchanging words or indeed whatever else you see fit to share today.. 

ill be spending mine under rock however..

how naieve must one be to trust someone they've known for over 4 years huh?? silly me..



must need my head looking at..

so ill be spending the day in bed, with a book and a supply of cigarettes.. yay..

on my own.. peace and quiet.. just me and my teddy bear

i cant wait xx

2/8/2006 5:05:22 AM
ummmm.......

i had my nipples pierced!!! yay!!!
ive been thinking about it for years.. and didnt think i'd ever find the guts.. but i did it finally!

im soooo buzzing .. had them in 4 days now.. so its done and im so proud of them

Dunno what else to say right now..

The shits still falling up here in sunny Donny.. cant trust anyone.. but could i ever?

Poisioned Kisses

metalmiss xx

1/17/2006 1:53:41 PM
Hi there all,

The doom and gloom merchant strikes again.. been pretty low just lately.. so sorry if i havent been sending many replies :(
Life really has been pretty pants lol x

Not sure whether im coming or going.. or where i stand with anyone at the moment..
Feels like im drowning very very slowly..
So i'm not ignoring You all.. i'll get back to You as soon as i find terra firma i promise x

Take Care

Poisoned Kisses and Crimson Tears,

metalmiss
xxxxxxxxx

12/21/2005 7:35:01 AM

Merry Christmas to Everyone..

Whats been happening with me.. ummm.. just broken up with my Fiance of 3 years 2 days ago.. Could say our "conflict of interests" killed it.. such is life, just being friends is only for the best i guess..

where we all go from here.. we'll see.. lol..

life is indeed a bitch x


12/13/2005 6:21:06 PM
It appears that someone has been playing with my account.. i know who you are.. and your intent is obvious..

thankfully theres no long term damage.. but im watching you..

metalmiss x

11/21/2005 1:18:42 PM
just an update..
this weekend has been busy.. just slightly.. i played in a club, went to the BBB and developed an addiction to needles..
so there you have it.
my weekend.
much fun x

11/14/2005 3:03:27 AM
hey all x

firstly, i want to say to a special friend that i love very much.. im sorry.. the pain will fade with time, i promise. because all that can heal us is time right now.. and the changes You are seeing reflect that healing process in me.
My mind is clearing now, and the world seems a much brighter place.. i just hope it is the same for You..

However, i am currently seeing a special Friend in my life.. He has been there for me for so, so long.. love You so much babes, You know who You are xx

On a lighter note.. i went to the LFF yesterday for the first time ever.. lol.. it was.. umm.. interesting  i very much enjoyed my bad self.. lol.. dunno what i was so worried about.. im a wuss..

i think thats about it.. lol.. im sooo tired.. i cant believe its still AM.. it feels like it should be bedtime.. grrrrrrrrrrrr...

Have fun all who read this

Poisoned Kisses 

MetalMiss xx

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