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Hetero Male Submissive, 36,  New York
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lostnlooking9 - submissive

lostnlooking9 - photo 1
lostnlooking9 - photo 3

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Last Online:


 Submissive Male

 New York

 6' 0"

 230 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Female

Domme/Dom Couples

Femdom Couples

Friends Only

A Poly Household

 Lives For:




 Massage (Giving)

 Intellectual Discourse

 Female Supremacy


 Art Galleries




 Martial Arts



 Puzzle Games

 Role Playing Games

 Science Fiction




 Coffee Shops

 Renaissance Faires



 Massage (Getting)

 Orgasm Control

 Board Games








 Fine Dining

 Curious About:


 Anal Play









 Amusement Parks





 Certified Massage Therapist

Hello,   I want something solid.  something real.  something hopefully long term.   I'd like a female led relationship, though I would consider couples, my ideal situation is one with a sole female.   I want to matter.  I want to be important and be somebody.  aside from my limits it's really my only desire and request. If all I'd be is a number or another boy for you then I really doubt you are what I desire.   I want to please and serve most of all.  I'm willing to learn new things, try new things and experience new things.  I'm open to becoming and learning to be a slave.   above all else I just need to make somebody smile. Aside from my handful of wants and a couple of needs listed above, my focus is and would be on my Domme. I need a relationship based on serving, pleasing, and worshiping her. I seek little for myself aside from the handful of items above.   I seek nothing related to sex or lack of it, to play or lack of it or to service and how it might be ordered or preformed. Such does not matter nor does it worry me.  I expect my Domme to train me should she see fit and to teach me to best please her.   I give amazing massages, and am more than willing to do housework or other menial tasks as needed or desired.  On top of which I can provide very interesting conversation and some good laughs here and there.  :)   I have more pics and am willing to answer any and all questions.   so Hi.  i hope you liked and like my profile.  :)

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Journal Entries:
5/7/2015 4:01:37 PM
So.. I finally took the test. All in all I'm somewhat dissatisfied. I mean it fits for me, however the test is set in a way that the test taker can pick what they want. So if someone wants to be a slave they can pick the answers that perfectly fit them. It works for what it is.. but I can't help wonder if there isn't a better way of testing.... *shrugs* == Results from == 100% Bondage Receiver 100% Slave 71% Non-monogamist 70% Exhibitionist 67% Submissive 63% Primal (Prey) 50% Voyeur 44% Masochist 38% Degradation Receiver 38% Primal (Predator) 30% Vanilla 0% All-Rounder 0% Bondage Giver 0% Degradation Giver 0% Dominant 0% Master/Mistress 0% Sadist 0% Switch See my results online at

3/10/2015 6:29:12 PM
So...  I feel that new subs and slaves, and in new relationships, the subs and slaves should be allowed orgasm lots.  In fact encouraged to.  Not be put in chastity!


Yes.  wait?  Sacrilege? Hmmm.  Perhaps so.  but hear me out.

I've been thinking.  When I go even a couple of days without orgasm, I'm horny, frustrated, aching, thinking of sex and orgasm.  And it sometimes is my focus.   Even when I'm being controlled, if I am told to wait, my focus is on that, MY orgasm, MY control, MY frustration and ache.
I tend to be pretty good at this, and everyone gets weak at times, I know, but I'm pretty good at handling this.
But this is part of why I speak the above.
As a sub, I can understand the joy and thrill of chastity.  It is right there, and the frustration starts so fast that it keeps you focused on the chastity. The lack of control it gives you.
For many boys it helps them focus and serve better.  Sometimes it helps provide the motivation to be perfect.  and pleasing.  And focused only on the Domme.

For the Domme, I can understand wanting that.  only having pleasure, not giving any.  And maybe only when you desire and want. Having one more element that you control and have to hold over his head and force him to do whatever you want.

The thing is..  should he need motivation?
Should you need to force him to do whatever you want?
Should there be motivation?

Additionally, and perhaps most importantly.  I hear and read complaints all the time that when a guy cums he's done.  he turns over and goes to sleep.  he becomes less submissive, and his desires to be submissive wane.  I know this to be mostly true.  I know when I'm satisfied, I have no desire to masturbate, or look at porn or anything sexual.  I'm happy, content and non cluttered.

And in this way..  I think it can be a true and full test for new relationships and all subs.   When a guy isn't horny, has no desire for sex or orgasm, is he just as submissive as if his balls are full and cock hard?  is he just as pleasing?  just as perfect?
This...  This may be a good way to test to see if the sub you have, is a true sub.  Because any real sub, is submissive because its who they are.  because we don't need anything from it, we like it because we like being submissive.  no secret motives.   

And I don't mean that Dommes need to have sex or anything with the sub.  send them to the bathroom to take care of things away from you if you wish.  But the key is making sure they act and are submissive even when their full aching balls are not there encouraging them on.

Maybe I'm wrong...  But maybe not.  I think the logic is there.  Thoughts?  I'm curious about this line of thinking...
Thanks for reading.  :)

2/17/2015 6:05:28 PM
As always I go along browsing profiles and journals.  Looking for interesting reads or even better interesting people to interact with..  And I came across several male sub profiles...  
Me me me.
Put me in chastity.  -seriously?
make me wear panties.  
punish me....   -Any good punishment is one that you would never beg for, want or desire...

but anyways how does any of this serve?  How does it please?  Are they limits or must haves for you?   Shouldn't your focus and desire be to serve and please?
let me make you smile...
i want to make your wishes come true
let me sacrifice to make things easier for you..

Yea corny..  but still better than some crap I see in a lot of sub profiles.  

Don't determine what your domme and Mistress should do or like or desire before even meeting her, it's one good way to keep yourself from meeting her!!!

Just saying...

11/14/2014 7:21:07 PM
to me, a perfect relationship has several one word things to describe it, and what there is and means to it:

Smiles, laughter, conversation, love, lifetime, trust, commitment, fun, happiness.

If your perfect relationship, or what you seek, doesn't match those?  then I'm not for you.  :)

7/31/2014 5:33:05 AM
I consider myself a Slave.

Many seem to frown upon that.  I don't see why.
Maybe because so many 'slaves' seem to be so helpless or demanding?

Some seem to think chastity is a must, or nudity?  Maybe they cannot think for themselves?

The way I look at it, from my perspective anyways, a slave should be the most ideal person to own/ be a Dominant to.  

I feel I'm a true slave, a real and realistic one.
I have no fear of saying if you are wrong.   I will debate you.  I give my opinions and thoughts if they would be listened to.

I can live on my own without help.  I can pick what I do or eat or wear on my own.
I can and will disagree with you, and freely speak my mind if such is allowed or would be listened to.

What makes me, as a slave, valuable.  Is that it's all about you, the Owner.  The Dominant/Domme/Mistress/Master or however you term yourself.

What does this mean?   Aside from limits...  I would do anything, anything.  for You.
This doesn't mean I'll jump in and obey anyone who desires me to, and it doesn't mean I would submit to anyone.

I hate pain.  I would likely not be able to submit to a sadist because of such.  Mostly because I may not be able to physically or mentally or emotionally handle it.
What it means that someone who is not a sadist, who wants to torment and torture me on occasion...  I would willingly submit to.  Just because it makes them smile.  Even though I hate it, I would love serving them and making them smile.
Same with anything else.  My service is about them.  not myself.   In the right situation, relationship and with the right care, I would enter a relationship where I hated most of what I was to do.  I would willingly learn to be, or train to be a masochist for her, because she desired me to.  Not for me, but for her.

But that is more extreme..  I doubt I would ever find someone like that because it would have to be a really special relationship and a great connection for me to be happy and ok submitting to something that would be so mentally and physically difficult for me.

and yes, just because it's hard, and I'm scared or worried, I still feel I'm a slave.  I'm still human afterall.  I will not enter into a relationship doomed to fail because I cannot hold up my end, whatever that may be.  If the odds are stacked against me and I am unable to submit to all demanded of me or whatever.

In the end..  I'm still a slave.  Because it's not about me.  It's about my owner.
Just saying...  :)

7/28/2014 7:42:55 PM
if you think you are 'better' than me because you are a Domme, then you are not for me and I'm not for you.

if you think you are 'better' than me because you are female and I am male, then you are not for me and I'm not for you.

if you don't understand why I say the above, or what it implies, and look down at me for such, then you are not for me and I'm not for you.

thank you.  :)

10/19/2013 10:37:35 AM

I figured I'd make a post about my perfect Domme and Mistress.

I've hesitated doing anything of the sort, so as to not put off or cause anyone to eliminate themselves because of such.

This is perfect, ideal, likely doesn't exist.   Like most Dommes have with their 'perfect' sub.  The sub they find won't be perfect, but you find one that fits closely.


for me, my Domme is controlling.  That is key.  100%.  if she gives an order, anytime anywhere anyhow, I am expected to obey without question or hesitation.


But she doesn't expect or like a robot.  I would do my own thing, pick my own food, clothing, activities and whatnot.  But she knows she can tell me anytime what to eat or wear, and I would obey.

She controls, but doesn't need to always micromanage.   As I think such would be far too stressful for both of us in the reality of life.


She is realistic.  she doesn't expect me naked and in a cage 24/7.  she understands I have family, work, that sometimes sex and d/s and her desires get pushed aside because of life. She rolls with the punches and adapts as needed.  She doesn't blame me, nor fault me, nor get upset when the issues of life cause changes and adaptions.  "sorry it wasn't my choice the car broke down"  etc.


She understands that we could still be 24/7 even with life and work and family.  She is realistic about such.


She cares about me, she likes me, she protects me.   She understands and respects my limits, and cares about and likes..  loves me.  To her I'm not a number.  I'm not property.  I'm me.  a valued pet so to speak.  lover, bf/husband/whatever.  but I'm more than nobody.  more than just any other sub to her.


She is my friend.  we can laugh, chat and talk about more than sex.  we can for hours on end even.  We have similar tastes.  Not perfect, but close enough that we can enjoy doing or watching or listening things together and both enjoy and have fun.


She likes me for me.  She respects that.  perhaps that is why she appreciates and loves me.  She could and might change my hairstyle, or dress, or how I eat, or what I do..  but she would never seek to change who I am.


She is challenging.  She keeps me on my toes.  She enjoys change on occasion, and trying new things.  Knowing what you like is great, but being open and willing to spice and change things up on occasion is greater still.  :)


She is easygoing.  Doesn't get pissed often, nor stressed, nor let things bug or bother her.  On occasion everyone is like that, but all the time, and it is a struggle to live with such a person.  let alone try to make her smile often.


Self confident.  along with the above..  if I have to tell you every day you are beautiful and fight with you that you are not an ugly horrible person, then that would drain me very quickly.  and upset me.  I'm not like that and I find it hard to understand.


Active.   She doesn't need to be all run run run.  But it doesn't and shouldn't be all sitn and watch tv either.  A mix between the two.


She doesn't smoke, and she respects others as well as animals.


hmm..  not sure what else.


but those are the key points for my perfect Domme.  :)

9/22/2013 5:35:19 AM

So I dislike the belt.  :(

It wore ok, yet it was maddeningly frustrating.  Something about it caused me to ache half the night.  I couldn't sleep.  My cock just throbbed for touch, ached for more, for orgasm.

Maybe the tightness of it?  


Anyways around 3 in the morning I took it off.  Didn't really touch or play other to check to see the overall condition(making sure everything was good, no ill effects).   So I failed.  But I had a busy day today, and couldn't afford to not sleep at all.

Took it off, checked, and then passed right out.

Sitting here now reflecting.


Why did I do it?  Because I crave to be controlled.   Self bondage would be difficult, this was easier.  Plus it was practice.   So many Dommes and Mistresses desire, want and expect their boy to wear one.  Not all, no.  But many.  I understand reasons and whatnot.  And I am and would be willing to should my future one wish.

But after last night I fear that it would be...  detrimental.  


I'm sitting here, having not touched, played or cum since last night.  A slight ache and throb to, but otherwise normal, feeling able and ok.   With that belt...  I ached for touch.  I throbbed for touch, and it teased me greatly.  made me crave for more.


I worry that a belt, and that wearing one long term would affect me.  Would cause me to be overly sexual and focus on that.

I can see how people say that it causes men to better obey, because after 12 hours of that I would focus so much to earn release, I would beg and plead and be a good boy.


But in the end it would be self serving.  And I honestly don't want that.   I don't want to serve because I'll get a reward.  I don't want to do so to earn an orgasm, or to anything of the like.   I want and crave to serve because I want and crave to serve, because I enjoy it.  I don't need any motivation for such.  In fact I fear my service would suffer greatly if I'm teased too much like that.  

Why?  because I would focus much more on my ache, my desires, than I would hers.  I would try not to, but in the end, I am a man, with all the failings of our sex drive.


In conclusion..  some part of me hopes to find a Domme and Mistress who has no desire for me to wear one.  Perhaps one who likes and desires lots of sex?!?  ;)  lol  Oh well, in the end, all the above matters little to me.  What does matter is her.  If she desires such, like it or not I'll let her lock me away and suffer as long as she desires.


Because in the end, it's about what she wants and desires, not what I do.  And a simple thing like disliking the belt because of such, is nothing that would keep me away from serving one that fits and works perfectly for me.


So we'll see...  maybe more practice is needed?  hmmmm  Maybe when I don't have such a busy day the next day?  or maybe on not such a busy day?  lol

9/21/2013 9:09:48 PM

So, I got a larger ring for the chastity belt, and it fits much better.  Wearing it now.  It is still very tight and squeezes the head.  I'd be afraid to wear it long term without further research and trials.  But unlike last time, I'm not getting numb.  Though..  it is frustrating.  can't touch, cannot ITCh.  cannot fully close my legs.  It's an experience.


Goal is wear it to the morning and then take it off and reflect and see.  then after a couple nights like that, wear it for longer than 12 hours, and go from there.  fingers crossed.  :)

5/18/2013 11:03:32 PM

Just joined .  Yes, behind the times there.

Lets see how much of an adventure that might be.  :)

5/16/2013 7:50:27 PM

I've posted a bit about submission.  About how it's the Domme and what the Domme wants and desires.


This doesn't mean I don't have my own wants and desires.  They are there.  If she wishes to know I'll tell her.  If she doesn't ask I'll keep them to myself.

I do this not to be difficult but to try to be accommodating.  

If she asks perhaps she doesn't care, or wish to know, or want to know right then, but may ask a week from now.  who knows

If I offer and blurt them out, it makes me feel that I'm expressing my desire for such, my need of them.  In a way telling her what I want and expect.


As I said previously, in a prior journal, I don't want her to adapt for me.  I should adapt for her.  I plan to ask and find out what she wants, expects, needs and desires.  And If I can accept such, or submit to such, then so much the better.


I'm human afterall.   And what human doesn't desire?  :)

5/14/2013 7:30:49 PM

I find it difficult to be able to mentally submit to a switch.


I wonder..  is it me?  Am I wrong?


There are even some Domme and "Mistress" profiles on here that are like "I'm 99% Domme, I only submit to one"  And even then I find it hard to grasp for me.


I mean, if she is in control of me, yet someone else is in control of her...  is she truly the one controlling me?


On top of which, I cannot accept that she isn't in control.  I wouldn't be able to.

If she wanted something I'd seek to give it to her.  If her Dom refuses her such, and causes her to refuse to allow me to give her, her desires it would make me feel bad.  As though she isn't truly in control.  Because in the end, she isn't.


I could accept, I think, someone who submits on occasion, or rarely.  For play or whatnot.  But not as an all the time thing.


Personally if she doesn't make the final decisions I find it hard being able to submit to her.  I find it hard accepting that she is deserving of my service.  I find it hard to be in a position where I might be able to make her happy, yet outside forces might keep such from happening.

Maybe I'm scared that I might develop a great relationship, only to have her Dom tell her to end it because he wants her to stop being a Domme and she obeys leaving me where I am currently, unowned, unpleasing.


Maybe I think too much.


But if she doesn't have the final end all say over her own life and actions and desires and wishes, is it right to assume she wouldn't have the final say over mine?


Am I so wrong?





I can and would submit to a switch, however it all depends on many factors.  If she is part of a couple that I'm joining, perhaps, for example.


What I speak of above are the ones who desire a one on one thing, yet outside they have a different one on one thing where they submit.  


I would always question and second guess things.  wonder and worry.  And well, it wouldn't work in the end for me.

5/2/2013 3:20:27 PM

What is the point of messaging a Domme across the world from you? The complexities of relocating even to another state are vast, let alone farther. Do you seriously think you have a chance with a Domme from Cali when you live in NY and have never crossed into even the central time zone?


Why do you do such?  what is the point?

I understand the friendly messages, or ones about the profile or whatnot, I mean more about those looking to serve.  I just don't understand men sometimes...  Even though I am one!   Maybe I'm broken?  lol.  maybe they are?  hehe


5/2/2013 3:16:58 PM

So, time for another rant/meandering/reflection/observation/what have you.


This is directed to subs, slaves and pets just as much as it is to Dommes, Mistresses Masters and owners.


I see and have seen many Domme profiles that  say "Don't tell me what to do"  "Don't tell me what you want"  "I don't care what you like"  etc etc etc.

And many sub profiles are seemingly oblivious to this.  "I want to be put in chastity and..."  "I want to be made to"   "I want to get on my knees and pleasure you with my tongue"


Well.  I know to each their own, but YOU'RE BOTH WRONG.  Yup, it's true.

Now this may differ as every relationship differs, so this won't apply to all situations and people, however it will and does apply to most.


For the Dommes.   You are partly correct.  We shouldn't detail out what we want.  We shouldn't detail out what we expect.  However I assume that most of you actually want to care about your sub, have a relationship of sorts with them.  So as such they should matter in part.  You should understand them and at least know their desires and wants, if only to use as an occasional reward or incentive.

What really matters, and should matter:

1) their Needs.  You don't need to wear panties, you don't need chastity, you don't need to play or bondage.  you need to eat.  You need to keep your job(most of us)  you need to watch over and raise your kids properly(some people)  etc etc

2) Understanding their Wants.   It doesn't mean you have to do, or provide or offer any, but you should know what they are.


Personally, though not being a Domme this is an outside observation, if his wants differ from yours, you should take it upon yourself to talk to him about such.  Make sure that he understands that by serving you he will have his needs taken care of, but his wants are different from yours and he would have to be accepting and willing to give his up for you.  Though it's far from needed to do such.



For the subs, we should stop demanding anything.  Even attention.   Our only demand is and should be that our NEEDS are met.  And we should understand needs and if our 'needs' are really needs.

Other than that we should understand our wants, and even explain such, or offer such if it comes up, but more importantly is HER(or HIM)(or THEM.  ;)  )

We should be asking what THEIR wants and desires are, looking at ours, and considering if we can fit in with them.


WE are the subs and slaves.  They are not.  WE are the ones that should adapt and sacrifice for them, not the other way around.  

If she hates your music, you have to be(well should be) willing to give it up to serve her, not expect her or demand to her that you should be able to listen to it on occasion.  If you want that, suck it up, be a man and find a Domme who likes said music.

Heck if every guy did that this world might be a better place.  Instead of forcing everyone to do what we want or like, or conform with us like it or not, we instead do what they like, conform to them, and focus on them.


Isn't that they key for d/s?  Serving, being owned?


chastity, orgasms, licking pussy, strap on's, being forced, crossdressing, pain, humiliation, etc etc etc.  None of that should be demanded by us.  EVER.


We should ask what she wants and expects and desires.  oh..  And if she doesn't wish to say?  We should accept such.  Use the time to talk with her and learn more about her, or if you wish move on and find someone who may be more interested in you.


That leads to my next part.  interest.  Just because she's hot and you fell in love at first sight doesn't mean the feeling is mutual, for it is not always.  So don't act like it will and do not FORCE the issue.

If you wish to be persistent, that is your right, and hey, sometimes you may win out in the end, but as long as you understand one major thing:  SHE is the key, SHE is the important one.  Focus on her, and if you annoy her, be man enough to politly leave.  If you really want to be macho and be all high and mighty and have your way every time, go delete your profile and go make a Dom one.  If not suck it up and act like the sub/slave that you are.


It should not be about you, but her(or them or him).  Yes should a relationship form it would be about you(as a couple, yourself included) however it would be based on the foundation that she is the focus, it is about her.  and even then she should never be forced or demanded of.  If you cannot handle such, then maybe she's not for you.


Not that anyone who really needs to read this ever would.


11/22/2012 8:38:35 AM

I'd like to explain myself more.  Especially with all I said in the last journal.


I am against Pro Dommes for me.  I'm NOT against financial Domination of me at some point in the future.

I'm not against spending money or treating or even spoiling on occasion, my Domme.


In fact, ideally I will give all that control up to her at some point.

But only in a relationship.


A relationship where money is not the focal point.  where she and I are.  Where our connection and interactions are.

A Domme whom I trust to protect me, look out for me and care for me.


To each their own I know, but I see that a prime key aspect for a Dominant is ensuring their slave/sub/property is taken care of and safe.

If you look at that statement and raise your nose is disdain then you either misunderstand, or are nothing what I wish to serve.


As a slave I plan and expect to obey every order and do every task.  Even the hardest, most difficult, scary or gross or questionable ones.  As I said in my last journal many seem so very self focused.  And this applies to non Pros as well.  So much so that I would fear serving them because I cannot trust they would keep me safe.  Physically, emotionally, and yes, even financially safe.


This doesn't mean I top from the bottom.  Or that I expect her to pamper or serve me.  Just treat me like you love and care for me.  Even if it's only the love you have for a pet.


Trust is key.  So is the relationship.


I hope this better explains my complex meandering mind.

11/20/2012 3:49:16 PM

I don't mean to complain and in fact I don't think I am.  Just stating some observations, and asking an interesting question that I don't expect to ever be answered.


Pro Dommes.


Looking around here this site is becoming a Pro haven.  Maybe it's because the lifestyle Dommes don't spend all night here trolling for subs like Pro Dommes might and are.  But Some times I see far more pro prostyle ones.  And that's with me hiding a couple hundred pro profiles already.


To each their own.  I don't bash people for their kinks, their professions or whatever.  I've said before it's not for me.  


However it brings me to my point here..  I'm amazed by the number of Pro profiles that are so..  Hostile and degrading.  Some downright offensive.

Again, to each your own.  But I see many that say things like "Rape your wallet"  "bankrupt you"  "take everything you own"  And in reading some of their profiles and journals I see many, if not all are very very serious.


My question...  is there..  would there be any shame?  Any regret?  Any Hesitation?

Making a sub lose his job or his home.  In many ways perhaps ruining his life.


And should they do that..  what would a pro dom do with a sub they took everything from and who cannot pay any more?   cast them aside?  So you ruin his life, take everything and leave him with nothing.  Does it bring a tear?  Would you even remember his name a month later?


And Why?  is it sadism?  greed?  laziness? 


And yes..  it's half the subs fault, but also half the Domme's for allowing it to happen.


What about those with mental illnesses?  Like it or not they are out there and here.  People with heavy self esteem issues or social issues.  So focused and in love of the attention that you give they are killing themselves in the process.


Once again..  why?   


I know..I know..  to each their own.  Pros are not all bad, and in many cases fit well and work well with everything.  But not all are.


And well...  Why?


I say this not to bash those pros.  But to hopelessly learn why.  what is the use or point or purpose of such.  Because hurting or destroying someones life, for your benefit.  Someone who to you is no more than a client or paycheck is not what I call safe or sane.  It's not what I call being dominant or submissive.  It's not what I call BDSM or D/s.


It's what I call ABUSE


So...  Why?

10/23/2012 4:16:58 PM

I don't normally rant, but I need to.  




Seriously guys?  Seriously?


I just spent a little bit in the video chatroom.  Nobody really chatted with me so I mostly sat and observed. And what I saw was in a way part sickening, part interesting, part humorous and part saddening.


I saw guys come in and well...  make me feel bad for being a guy.


Not all mind you, but many more than just one or two, enough to be disappointing.  Doms from across the world from a sub really pouncing at her and maneuvering her with very not so subtle hints that they had in mind to make her theirs.  Without even a heavy conversation and without even knowing her at all.


And then the subs..  I saw many.  far too many.  

"Any dommes control on cam?"  "i'm about to play want to direct me miss?"  "I really want to do this, can't someone tell me and watch me do that?"  


And well..  *sighs*

I know how it can be.  I'm a guy.  I get horny far more than might be healthy for a sub.  I understand being focused on sex and being distracted and what have you.  But why do we not think?  Why are we so demanding?  And why do we look at and treat every woman, Dom or sub, like they are horny and want us also?


I treat everyone online like I would in person.  And then I look back and around...  rapes almost daily.  rapes and murders.  Guys going around and flashing and masturbating in public.  Yes girls flash to, but they do it for fun and laughs, not because they are a creeper.


And all that is because of guys.  guys getting and being horny and uncontrolled.  Guys being denied.

Maybe like the fantasy stories all guys should be locked in chastity and carefully controlled with release.

There would be no more rapes.  and much much fewer kidnappings/murders.  Especially if the keys are kept so that they cannot get out easy.


And the chatroom..  would have many fewer guys.  Cannot masturbate so where is the joy of watching cams for most?  Cannot hope to be controlled for kicks because that would be a tease.


I know silly..  but..  watching the idiots in the room..  just really gets to me.  I mean seriously?


It makes me feel bad that women need to deal with that crap.


And as a guy..  I'm sorry for that...


10/22/2012 9:03:58 PM

Why do so many people, both Domme, Dom and sub or slave, expect or seek or look for instant submission?


Are people just a number for you?  For subs...  are you willing to submit to anything willing to give you attention and control you?


Doms/dommes are you willing to dominate the same?


Does the person behind it all even matter to most anymore?


For those into relocation..  why would you expect a commitment for such before even meeting the person face to face?


Have we all gotten so shallow?  so fickle?  so greedy? so Desperate?  


I am respectful, but I look on all the same, as a person I'd meet off the street.  I do long to submit and serve.  But I don't quickly or easily.

Maybe that is why I'm still single and unowned.  I have yet to find one to see me as more than a number.  To see me as me.  To want and desire me to serve them.  And who also gives me reason and desire to want to serve them in return, to work and long and desire to make them smile, not because they are my owner or in control, but because I want to because of who they are.  


Confusing is it not?  lol  such is my mind.

8/18/2012 8:01:03 AM

i have limits, I have thoughts, I can think, I have interests, I can converse, I am intelligent, I dream, I hope, I yearn, I ask, I talk, I lead, I protect, I guide, I help, I answer, I am there, I do, I give laughs, I work and I take.


And with all that and more I am still a slave.


slaves are people.  Slaves are subs. Slaves think, and slaves act for themselves.


What makes a slave a slave?  Just their willingness to give of themselves for others.

A slave does not want for themselves, they want for others/their owner.

They are willing and ok with giving up their desires and wants to make another happy.  They are willing to do what they may not desire and may not want for another.


This doesn't mean we never say no.  This doesn't mean we are abused and this doesn't mean we can be unhappy.

The key with finding the right owner is to find one who makes us happy.  Where serving them makes us smile and happy.   A slave like i describe cannot serve just anyone.  we are not robots.  we are real.


feel free to disagree.  your allowed.  ;)

8/11/2012 6:27:06 PM

way way too busy lately.  :(   *sighs*

7/20/2012 7:02:54 AM


I do not ask what you can do for me.  I ask what I can do for you.

I do not ask what I want, I ask what you want.

I do not ask to have my fantasies, I ask for yours.

I do not ask for my orgasm, I ask about yours.

I do not ask to be served or pleased...  I ask to serve and please.

I do not want to control, I wish to give it up.


*disclaimer* That said I am SAFE and intelligent(enough so anyways)

Just because of the above doesn't mean I'm spineless, doesn't mean I'm a robot and doesn't mean I'm helpless.

It also doesn't mean that I expect to dive right in.  I don't expect to sign anything, or move or live in or be collared or anything of the sort without fully knowing and learning and understanding that which I am getting into.


Maybe such will happen quick, maybe not.  It depends a lot on distance and trust.



7/19/2012 8:49:09 PM

I have been thinking and wondering.


Is the desire to give up control, the ache to please, the want to serve and obey, demanding in and of itself?

Am I being a selfish boy when I ask someone or beg someone to take control?


And I selfish for begging them to do what they wish and what might please them and make them happy..  even at my expense?  because it's what I also desire and crave?


Is the desire to be a slave a selfish thing to seek for a slave?  lol


Am I wrong in thinking it's somewhat ironic and funny in a way?  lol


5/20/2012 3:34:14 PM

If I don't like you and can't stand you as a person, I won't like you and can't stand you as an owner.  Simple as that.  :)

5/19/2012 4:52:18 PM

I do not seek sex.

I do not seek play.

I do not seek bondage.

I do not seek orgasm.

I do not seek kinks

I do not seek fantasies to be fullfilled.


I seek only 2 things.


I seek my limits to be respected.

I seek to serve and please, to be owned and submit, to bring smiles and happiness, and to give of myself to make my owner pleased and happy.(I know long and meandering but it's basically all the same thing.  :)  )

12/5/2011 5:32:05 AM

in My search for chastity belt answers and help for my issue I stumbled across an interesting website.


I must say I found it very very very amusing.

This comes from the same kind of people that are saying in the middle east that if women Drive it'll cause more people to have sex.



Yes Yes, not the same religion.  The same kind of people:  Idiotic super religious people that if they could would destroy the world because everyone else is an 'infidel' or 'sinner'


Just one day I would like to meet some and fuck with their heads.  lol  Maybe not.  I'm too nice and sometimes too shy for that.


Just had to mention it.  If you have a chance read what they say about porn and masturbation and sex and etc.  It's really quite disjointed and humorous.  To me anyways.  :)

12/3/2011 1:34:01 PM

So I now Have a CB6000.  Yea!?!


I'm worried I may be a touch too large for it.

I almost couldn't get it on and needed a ton of lube pushing pulling and pinching.


I'm using the largest ring and spacer and everything seems so tight.  I worry about cutting off circulation.  =o/

There is no numbness and I can get a finger barely between the ring and my skin, but to do so requires pushing down on my skin. but still it's something.

But basically there is no leeway or give.


i can only fit my head in with a ton of lube and a small amount of the shaft is in.  The rest of the shaft is bunched in the open area of the spacer.   When I try to get hard it sort of grows around the cage as it grows larger than the cage almost instantly.


Even with just the head in there is 0 chance of me getting it out or pulling out or slipping out it's that tight.



Anyways..  what I'm getting at is..  thoughts?  advice?  Does anyone have experience and know if any of the above is bad?  or is it and would be ok?


i'm going on 2 hours now and will likely take it off and reflect in another couple if all continues as is.  But if anyone has experience and advice, and they care to offer, I would appreciate it.


thank you.

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