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Feel free to message me if you would like to make an approach, or talk about anything that interests you on my profile About section, or in my writings or pictures.
~Introduction~
Welcome to my profile.
I am 60, separated (not recently), no children, a homeowner, live alone, and I can host. I identify as a Queer, Poly Sexual, Dominant, and while I have lived a monogamous life in the past, my tendency these days is to lean more to being polyamorous. If you are firmly mono minded, want an exclusive mono involvement - I can’t give you that, so it’s probably best you don’t make an approach.
Since joining the local kink community back in late 2010, and joining a few kink sites in 2011, I have been on a journey of discovery, both self, and also with the help, and support of those I have encountered along the way. This has been a joy, but also full of challenges.
To say I was jumping into the deep-end would be putting it mildly, a real awakening, in terms of allowing, and exploring my kink, fetish and BDSM interests, as well as my dominance, my sexuality, and opening my mind up to all the things the BDSM/LGBTQ+ community contained.
~General Interests~
I have numerous interests and things I enjoy doing: I love books, and enjoy reading sci-fi, fantasy, horror, techno thrillers, both historical fiction and fact, erotic fiction, and BDSM lifestyle/activity education, books on art, archaeology and antiques. I love watching a good film, documentary, TV show in similar genres to the books I read. I also enjoy anime, and other forms of animation. I am a mostly reformed comic collector, not so reformed with other things I collect. Love music, which was very much my first love, and I have a very broad, and eclectic taste.
I love a good conversation, I do struggle with making small talk, and I can be a bit shy and reserved to start with in person, though not always - this depends on my comfort levels at the time. I love a nice walk in the country, or by the sea, holding hands, and eating out/or in with a special person or friends. I very much enjoy visiting bookshops, record shops, model shops, thrift/vintage stores, clothing and antique/collectors shops.
~Kink Me - A New Beginning~
My hope for this new phase of my journey, is to find happiness, to be fulfilled, truer to myself. To find someone/or several people, to share my life with, be intimate with, cry with, hug, hold, and of course do highly naughty things with. Energy exchange, cyclic energy exchange, creation is what I need to thrive.
~Sexuality~
I no longer identify as being straight, I don't feel gay or bi fit, but my sexual inclinations have shifted, opened up to the point that I feel straight isn’t really a good fit any more. After some research I have found an orientation that I feel, currently fits, and that is Polysexual.
For those that don't know what Polysexual means - it is being sexually and/or romantically attracted to multiple genders. To that end I am open to play, dynamics, relationships with the following groups of people: cis/trans women, those who are trans feminine/gender-fluid, and possibly, though I have no experience with, but I am open to having such with people who identify as non-binary. I would be open to cross-dressers, but only if they lean towards being gender fluid/trans fem, and not if dressing/being dressed is for degradation, and humiliation purposes.
~Polyamory~
In 2025 I lean heavily into being polyamorous, so if you want an exclusive, mono relationship, I am not your person.
~Origins, History, Roles/Activity, Education, Skills, Desires, Equipment, Aesthetics~
I have been active on the local BDSM scene since, 2010. Like many people my fetishes, interests in the erotic, BDSM began much earlier than that, but it wasn’t until my getting involved with the local community that I began to explore the part of me that I had mostly kept hidden until that time. I was, as they say, a late starter.
I have attended munches (regularly when I can), and parties held by several local community groups over the years, as well as events in Dublin, Belfast and England.
Dominant - My natural main role is as a dominant, but I sit more to the Sensual end of the spectrum -which is why I list it as a role-than being a hard core sadist, or strict disciplinarian type.
Electro Top - Electro top fits too with my love of modern and vintage violet wand/ray machines, both from a using and collecting view point. In this case one should not infer any interest, knowledge or skill regarding E-Stim/Tens machine use.
Impact Top - From my very early days, active, I have enjoyed delivering various forms of impact play from: flogging, use of whips, canes, tawse, crops, and paddles.
Bondage - I love putting a sub/doll into bondage, using leather cuffs, bondage furniture, and various bondage toys.
dollMaker - Since the early days of my being involved in BDSM, dresscode rules was a thing for me, I liked selecting the look of the person I played with. Over time that morphed into dressing them, having a large collection of clothing from which to do that. I then discovered that what I had moved into doing was dollification. I have done this online, and in person, and its something I very much enjoy doing, and want to do more of, perhaps including mind control elements.
In regard to these BDSM activities/roles, I would say that I am not an expert (always more to learn, I attend workshops/read/watch videos to do this), instead I consider myself to be creatively competent in these areas.
I have my own fully equipped playroom, with various items of kink delight and fun within. It's compact, but works well for most activities. I also have other large items of pervertable furniture in my home, which can be used for various play activity.
I like the aesthetics of classic/vintage feminine clothing (1940/1950/1980s) and some modern fashions, matched with what I consider nice lingerie, such as: corsets, stockings plus suspender belts, basques, and heels, which are also a preference for playtimes. This clothing/lingerie would be made from certain materials, which I have a preference for: satin, silk, PVC, and leather. If naked is your main thing, only thing, it's likely we would not be a good match, as clothing and dressing those I am involved with, forms an important part of my core Kink/Fetish preferences.
~References~
If required I can, and I am more than happy, to provide references, to my ability and safe play.
~Consent Models~
I subscribe to these following consent models:
SSC – Safe, Sane, Consensual
FRIES – Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific.
I will always respect limits and boundaries, and try hard never to break these.
Tain77
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If you make an approach, and during chatting I am not what you are interested in, please just say so - it's ok, it's allowed. I am not the best at knowing what to do, how to interpret a convo that suddenly stops, so please just tell me you are not interested in talking any more, that would be a massive help. I am inclined, currently, to probably not make any future approaches, so if I interest you, feel free to send a message.
As a general guide, my profile location is accurate, as is my age, and all the other details. If anything doesn't resonate with you, if you are not ok with an involvement being online only, really applies to anyone outside the UK, and Ireland, then probably best you don't make an approach. If you are UK, or Ireland based I am happy to entertain meeting, and more, but unless you are based in Ireland, UK mainland will present some challenges, but in saying that if thing progress well, those challenges are not insurmountable.
Tain
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I am having one of those days today, triggers are pushing me into grief. Things I am reading, elsewhere, and stuff on TV. When I took two grief counselling courses after my mum died, I found out about the fact that grief can pop up at any time, often a random trigger bringing it to the surface.
Well today I am feeling very sad over the passing of an ex submissive, she found me on here, and after messaging me, I wasn't here much then, on another kink site, we got together.
It was good for a long time, she had more experience, and I was a relative newbie, having only a years experience, still she consented to being mine. I learn't so much, and I will be forever grateful. After we separated, we stayed friends until I got involved with someone, who wasn't her, the friendship ended then.
I had already tried once and another time would not have worked any better, so I moved on, but I guess she didn't.
I know we would never have been friends again, but I miss her, and the idea of the universe not having her in it, that's painful. I had hoped she would meet someone better suited to her, but that didn't happen before she passed. That breaks my heart.
The reason I am writing this, is, life is short, very short. It only seems like yesterday I was 20, and now there are fewer years ahead of me, than behind, and I wish everyone happiness, and fulfilment, including me. Thing is you never know the moment or the hour, people die suddenly, she did, my dad did and, well don't waste your life, live it fiercely, honestly, with care, consideration, and love.
Tain
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For clarity, if you, who approach me, whomever you are, have an involvement, partner, are married, or part of a poly arrangement, then only, repeat only if those people know about you being here, looking for involvements, and they consent to that, will I get involved with you.
I will be very strict regarding this, it's a hard limit, so please only approach if that is the case.
For myself, those I am involved with, know I am here, and any involvement that comes out of being here, they will know about it. |
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It would seem, that wanting to have a non kink talk, in order to get to know people, before kink, isn't what is wanted here, and kills a conversation/approach stone dead.
I suppose most here exist in online spaces mainly, and not in in-person spaces, for whatever reason, and they want to get to the kink right away. I have extensive online experience, I value it, I value it to a similar level to in-person spaces/activity, energy exchange is fun, and enjoyable wherever it occurs, but for me, someone who leans to being demi-sexual I need a connection, and an understanding of the person I might get involved with, for that involvement to work.
I need to understand where they are coming from, their life, their experiences, what makes them work as a person, a human being and that creates a deeper connection than just kink play, alone. The former, for me, needs to come first before play/activity.
I treat online as I do in-person time, so all I do to make the later work, work well, and safely I build into that online only involvement. I have had discussions in the past with in-person only people who have dismissed out of hand, not only the value of online only involvements but that because in some instances its only words on a screen, that there is no danger, safety isn't required and sure you can write anything you like, it's all not real, and only in-person activity is real. I don't agree, BDSM/Kink is in the mind first, that is where it has its roots, and from there all else grows. I have had wonderful online experiences, but my approach is to treat it as I do with an in-person person, which means I get to know them first, before kink play.
If you make an approach to me, please do not do so with the idea that within a few message exchanges that we will be trading words or images, playing, because that won't happen, before I get to know you as a person - and to repeat myself again, that will happen here, before any off CollarSpace chat happens.
Tain |
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First Journal Entry
I am back on here after a long hiatus on this platform, fingers crossed, it works out better than the first time.
I am here looking to make friends, and who knows what after that. One thing I have found so far is that not much has changed, those jumping into my inbox still manifest many of the prior encountered issues: trying to insta me, using titles before they have been earned, fantasy pushing, and having the sort of energy and vibe of trying to use me as a kink vending machine. I am a person first, before being a dominant, so please don't do this.
A new one on me is seeing not being willing to jump to chat apps as a red flag, as a reason to think someone isn't genuine. To be very clear, I won't jump off this platform onto a chat app after a few brief message exchanges. Trust has to be built up, a connection of sorts created first. I am not interested in one of hook-ups, but want to build something more meaningful, and that will happen on here first. In my book trying to pull me off here, after a few minimal messages, definitely is one, and strongly suggests a scammer at work, not a genuine person.
Please don't try and do that. |
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