tarasouth

September 2025 Update

Well, what to update on? I've had precious little innteresting contact on this site for a while. I did have some medical issues toward the end of last year from which I am now recovering. I was in a relationship where the partner in question appears to have ghosted me. I guess that makes me single once again? I havent heard from him in over 6 months after all. To me, I'm single even if neither of us spoke the words 'we're broken up'.

I've maintained my chastity now since March 2020. I don't think i could live without it. I too, still regularly practice submissive poses, exercises, and enjoy self bondage sessions in lieu of a dominant.

My transition has been a drawn out process due to my illness earlier this year. I do take hormone treatments, and keep myself with long hair, and shaved below the top of my head. I dress as femme all day every day. I love as a woman every day. However, bottom surgery has not yet been approved for me. The psychiatrist I had lined up to provide my second medical declartion rejected it back in January, meaning I've been fighting both an illness and the NHS since then to get the documents and reports I need for my GRC. If you know what that means, you'll know the frustration. If you don't let me simplify it. I've been living as a woman now for nearly four years, but I can't have that legally recognised just yet because of paperwork.

If you want someone who is submissive and loyal, I am that. However, be warned that though I intend to undergo bottom surgery, that is still a little while away for me.

Remote Controlled - Part 2b

Author's Note - The word count was a little too long for the journal, so I have had to split it in two. This is the conclusion of part two.

'If I have captured your interest enough, I want to ask you to submit to me using this app and your toys. If you agree Slut, you will leave the call open and put in your vibe and buttplug. If you do not agree, then you can end that call and I will not have any hard feelings toward you.'

'I'd like to try Jonathan.'

'I am glad to hear it Slut. Now, go and put in your toys.'

Through the open line Sally could hear some noises on Jonathan's end. He quickly explained that he had purchased himself a toy that would connect to hers. As he thrust into his toy, it would capture some of the sensations and she would feel them repeated in her toys. Deep within her something fluttered. Sally didn't think that the inventors of the internet ever forsaw this use case, but she was thankful for the people with the ingenuity to make things like this work.

Reporting that everything was in place, she lay down on her bed. A notification flashed up from the new app - Jonathan has sent you a new task.

Turn on video when using your toy (50 point reward).

She stared at it for a moment or two before turning video on the call. Immediately the buttplug began to vibrate.

'I am going to enjoy controlling your ass tonight Slut.'

Sally couldn't quite imagine the device he was using on his end, but she smiled as the wonderful feeling of being controlled set in. Another notification flashed up on her phone.

Put on a collar (25 point reward).

If these tasks were all so simple, it wouldn't be long before she could claim both of the rewards on the app. She reached over to her toy box and buckled a simple leather collar around her neck. Flashing a smile to the camera she reached to her nipples and began playing with them as the toy in her ass vibrated and quaked away. Maybe an online dynamic had some potential after all she thought...then the vibrator in her pussy kicked in and before too long waves of pleasure were washing over her mind and body.

Remote Controlled - Part 2

A fiction story

Usually, waking up was a gentle thing in Sally's home. She'd take a few moments to stretch in bed, to wake gently before turning out of bed. This morning though her eyes landed on the evidence of last night. Instead of her crossword book on the nightstand she caught sight of her plug, phone, and wet wipes. No, last night certainly wasn't a dream. She'd been floating high after her online encounter with Jonathan. A shame flooded through her though. She'd fallen asleep instead of cleaning her toys properly. Sighing, the drawbacks of a long-distance dynamic welled up. If she were in a relationship with a dominant in person they'd never have allowed her to fall asleep and be such a lazy slut.

Not wanting the near £200 she'd spent on her vibrating toys, Sally threw herself out of bed and set to cleaning up the mess she'd left for herself last night. Running some hot water, and taking her toy cleaning solution from the shelf she set the toys to soak a little in the sink before attending to the nightstand. As she began spraying and cleaning down the nightstand she noticed the texts.

'Aren't you going to thank me?'

'Just because I let you cum, does NOT mean you get to ignore me.'

'When you see this I want you to message me, slut.'

Sally's heart slumped. This was exactly what was wrong with online play. Sure the thought of someone she couldn't see was hot and steamy, but the aftermath was disappointing for everyone. Caught in this thought loop she carried on cleaning until her phone buzzed.

'I am very disappointed Sally. When you are next online I would like us to talk.'

Sally sighed, she was just as disappointed in herself. He was right of course. He'd done something for her, and what had he gotten from it? Immediately he thoughts shifted gear. Sally had told Jonathan why she didn't enjoy this dynamic. He knew what he was getting into. Why does he get to be disappointed? Why should she feel guilty? She could quite understand her own reactions, and needing to get on with her day, she pushed them aside to finish her cleaning and start her day.

It would be a day or two before Sally next saw that Jonathan was online. In that time she'd put some thought into her feelings. Into this disappointment. She had no idea how online could work.

'Jonathan, I'm sorry I fell asleep on you. I told you I hated online'

'Don't worry. I won't take it personally. I have a suggestion for you if you're willing to be open minded again?'

Sally's hands lingered over the phone screen for a little while as she considered her response. As she thought her eyes wandered around her room, eventually resting on the toybox she kept. It was a wonderful orgasm. What could it hurt?

Sally, tapped the voice call. The ringtone tormented her for longer than she could bare. She could see he was still online, so why was Jonathan taking so long to answer? She could feel herself anticipating the conversation. How would this go?

'Hello Slut.'

Jonathan's tone shook Sally. Instinctively she hated being called a slut. It was such a horrid word. She decided to overlook it for now. As much as she hated that word, she wanted even more for people to think well of her. Impressing and making good with Jonathan was more important than a four letter word.

'Hello Jonathan. I am sorry you know.'

'Oh slut, I know you are. Do not worry. I still think you are interesting.'

His tone took her by surprise. He sounded...understanding. Calm. As the conversation went on, she did her best to apologise and to explain but he was calm and reasonable. He truly seemed not to be mad about it. His tone comforted her just as much as it made her feel uncomfortable. Eventually though in what seemed to be another effort to put her at ease, Jonathan made her an offer.

'Do you want me to give you a way to make it up to me?'

'Please Jonathan, it would set my mind at rest.'

'Very well. I have an app I would like you to download.'

Almost immediately a message flashed on her phone. The link was easy to follow and the app looked legitimate enough.

'What is it?'

'Download it and find out.'

Sally downloaded the app and set herself up on it as best she could while they talked. It appeared to allow one person to set rules, tasks, punishments, and rewards. It used a series of points to track things and could be shared between two people. Almost as soon as she was set up a request landed on this app - Jonathan would like to be your partner

'You do not have to accept, but I know you will slut.'

Sally was disarmed by the confidence in his voice. Curious and still hoping for another long distance session where she could benefit from her vibrating toys, she clicked accept. The pages of the app seemed to immediately become filled with things. As she tapped through Jonathan began to explain. He could set her some daily tasks that she would need to mark as having completed. There was even a feature where he could request photo proof if she was comfortable with it. The rules was blank for now, but if the app proved useful Jonathan explained that he'd start giving her some rules to follow. The rewards tab contained two very simple rewards.

1. You may cum even if Jonathan denies you permission. (100 points)

2. Request a new toy from Jonathan. (50 points).

Jonathan explained that he had found a delivery locker in her town and he could safely send items there without needing her physical address. She could be assured of her safety and not have to hand over sensitive information. Sally couldn't help but smile, he had really thought this through.

Continuing on to the final tab, the punishments page had one punishment listed.

You will tell Jonathan a name or descriptive word that you do not enjoy being called. Jonathan will use this word to address you for an entire week.

'I can hear over the phone the gasp of breath when I call you slut. I know you don't like it.'

Sally couldn't deny it. She hated being called a slut. And then it clicked. He hadn't called her by her name since the night she'd fallen asleep on him. He was punishing her and he wasn't even here. Sally couldn't help but be impressed by his skill.

The two talked for a little while longer, with Jonathan asking what toys 'Slut' owned. She reeled off the toys that she owned, taking and sharing some photos along the way. They discussed her limits, the things he enjoyed, the things she enjoyed. Then he announced something.

'If I have captured your intertest enough, I want to ask you to submit to me using this app and your toys. If you agree Slut, you will leave the call open and put in your vibe and buttplug. If you do not agree, then you can end that call

Remote Controlled - Part 1
This is a fiction story based on a real event

The year was almost over once again and Sally had no one to gift her bound and helpless form to. Another year had passed and every dominant man she had met was a no-hoper. Scrolling on her phone she looked mournfully at the parade of bound subs that filled social media. Tapping over to her dating profile she sighed. It took a lot of patience to filter through the inbox. Determined to keep trying she browsed the various messages she had received. It was the usual stuff - men with empty profiles saying 'hey'. Disappointed she pushed on through message after message until she saw one with a photo attached. Steeling her courage, Sally tapped the message desperately hoping it wasn't yet another unsolicited dick pic.

To her surprise it wasn't. It was a picture of an app that she recognised. She used the app herself for one of her toys. As she took in the picture she realised that her username was displayed. 'Random Control' was a feature of her app controlled toys. A butt plug and vibrator she owned could be worn and then controlled by a random user of the app. Sure enough, this picture was coming from someone who she had chatted with as he controlled her toys! For a moment panic made her blood run cold. Was it creepy that he'd tracked her down on a dating site? What other profiles of hers did he know about? Semi-paralysed by this surprise it took her some time before she read the message to which the picture was attached.

'Control doesn't have to be random. All you have to do is ask.'

Sally froze. This was out of the ordinary. How is someone meant to answer this? She gulped, but found herself unable to tap away from the message. She had to know more. Quickly she tapped through and read this man's profile. Thepicture wasn't amazing, but there was a very well written description of what this man was looking for. With every line Sally found herself drawn in further and faster. On the screen at least this man seemed like everything she was looking for. At least, right up until he used a single word - pantyhose. Sally's growing smile dropped. He was likely American. No Brit would use that word. Sure enough, on checking there it was - Bridgeport, Connecticut. Still, he deserved a reply. It was the most interesting message she'd received in weeks.

'I remember our chat. It was mindblowing. I'm sorry to say I'm not looking for an online relationship. - Sally'

Dispondant, Sally closed the site and settled down for a lonely night. Streaming the latest reality show nonsense, her brain numbed and the familiar rut closed in. Moments later her phone buzzed.

'What is it about online that worries you? - Jonathan'

'Consequences, there can't be any when its all online. I can say I've done something but you have no way of knowing if thats the truth. Its just not as fun for me. - S'

'I understand. Are you up for another fun chat then?'

Sally smiled. An online D/s relationship didn't get her motor running, but the thought of someone else teasing her with her toys really did. She quickly messaged back before hurrying to her toy chest. A touch of lube later and her plug and vibe were in. A few quick taps and she had the app open and connected to the man on the other end. His voice wasn't terribly deep. In fact he spoke very softly and gently. Almost careful with every word he chose to use.

'I really did love the message Jon.'

'It's Jonathan, not Jon.' He hadn't raised his voice at all to say this, instead he chose to set her toys to vibrate at their maximum settings. Sally breathed deeply as the toys caused her to let out a low moan.

'S..sorry Jonathan.'

'That's okay. Now you know.' The vibrations stopped as he lowered the control on his app. Then a second later, there was a barely perceptable rumble from her plug combined with a slow rhythmic buzz from her vibe. Sally gulped, he was good.

'You know Sally, there are other toys like this. Other ways a long distance dynamic can work.' But Sally bared heard, he was clearly skilled at controlling these types of vibrating toys. He was varying not just the intensity but the frequency and the patterns of her toys.

'Or maybe, even this type of play isn't something you enjoy as much as it sounds like?' The vibration stopped from both of Sally's toys. Snapping back to reality her hips were wriggling around, desperate for the good feelings from the toys.

'Please, don't stop now!'

'Well then Sally, answer me. Did you know that there are a lot of different long distance toys like this?'

'I'm sure there are. I don't think it would help though. Even in person, I can be bratty. I find ways to make it seem like I've done what was asked of me.' The vibrations began again, but this time at a very low level. Sally's hips writhed against the air, desperate to make the most of the sensations from the toys. She gripped her breats, teasing her nipples.

'What if I had a plan? A way of addressing some of your weaknesses? Would you be willing to at least hear me out?'

'I...I suppose...I could keep an...oh...oh.' Sally struggled for words as he played with her toy's controls masterfully.

'An open mind?'

'Oh god! Ye...ye...yes, and open mind.'

'I'm glad to hear it. Now, when you are close, do be a good little slut and ask me for permission to cum.'

Sally's entire body began to quake as both the plug and the vibe filled her with sensations that felt amazing. Closing her eyes, she flipped to her front and ground her hips into her bed, trying to get more from the sensations of the vibe filling her. A few moments later, she was begging the male voice she knew as Jonathan for the permission to cum. He managed to play the controls so well that he kept her right on the edge of an orgasm for another two minutes. To Sally it felt like twenty, but before too long he said in a gentle voice:

'Cum for me Sally.'

Getting the most from messaging

This site isn't like social media. Nor is it like whatsapp. It's something different. I noticed this when I had my pervious profile and want to make a couple of things clear. For me, you'll get the best results from a long form message. Something more like email or a letter. Its a bit like Tinder or Grinder. You get the best results when you have something more to say than 'hello'. If you're interested, say that. If you're looking for something long term say that too. Most of us get deluged with messages from all sides that are simply a single line of text. I delete those unread.

Why?

Simple: because no relationship or true D/s dynamic is going to develop from a string of one line messages. The D/s dynamic requires high levels of trust and openness. Such trust and openness cannot develop from single lines. At some point more information needs to be givem.

But what if I am better at talking than writing? Well that's an easy one - speech to text apps exist. They're accurate and easy to use. Seriously, I once had a correspondent who tried this on my suggestion and it was the best conversation I'd had on my old profile up to that point. He thanked me afterwards because he was getting more replies.

I don't have time for long messages. This will sound harsh, but you don't then have time for BDSM or a D/s dynamic either. For dominants, the level of attention a submissive needs is usually quite high at first. Sure they'll eventually require less attention to maximise the relationship from, but early on you'll need to invest time. As I said earlier, trust doesn't form from nowhere. If I'm going to let you tie me up and spank me, if I'm going to willingly place myself in a position so vulnerable I need to trust you.

Of coruse, all of what I say here are observations of mine. Not every sub will feel the same, nor will every Dom(me). This is just my two penny worth. I do seriously recommend to everyone though, a longer message is better than a short one. In a sea of one-line messages it makes you stand out too!

For me who works shift patterns sometimes I can only get to checking the site once a day, but when I do I'll respond to the most interesting messages, or the people with whom a connection has developed first.

Tara xox

Journal Update - November 2024

I'm Tara and I'm coming back to this site afgter having nearly given up on everything and being lost for a while. I am pre-op trans. I was on hormones, but the health scare I have took me off them for a while. I won't be able to recommence them until January 2025. If that's a problem for you I entirely understand.

I've got a lot of kinky hobbies, one that some people know about me is that I have worn chastity since March 2020. I unlock once a week for shaving and cleaning. I switch between two very small devices which can go largely unnoticed under most of my wardrobe.

I live 24/7 as a woman. I do have some real struggles with dysphoria, the person I see when I see myself in the mirror often doesn't match how I feel. I wish the NHS moved faster. I want to do this all right so am not taking shortcuts.

I love, and I mean really LOVE bondage. Put me in cuffs and a collar and I will melt into submission.

Over the next few weeks I think i am going to use the journal to share some of my past expereinces.

Tara xox