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Open to chat & learn Please take a look at my journal for window into my thoughts & feelings Thank You


Anyone interested in sharing ideas, thoughts and experiences on self bondage, good, bad, or unusual.


i have little experience in area but intriguied


A thought 


B S and M are the body of BDSM then the D is the breath.



A submissive’s Service 

If a submissive’s service does not  improve the Dominant's life or provide them with a form of satisfaction then it's not really service but simply an activity.



Truly crave the feeling of being controlled and the depth of submission more than sexual release.

Interestingly read something about how BDSM has been used to help people explore and heal traumas within in their lives. 


Firstly it’s not something that would have sprung to mind but also a brilliant positive in relation to lifestyle and a deviation to the norms of Ds. 


Of course this is not possible without complete trust in a Person to allow any kind of healing to happen. 


Surrender control of the mind and thus its body to find the space that quells the noise

From time to time i come across reference to the enjoyments of the "forbidden fruit or taboos" as of may ects of this lifestyle what do people see these as, is this reference to what most would deem to be hard limits or is this really much more diverse.

Surprised how many people place a political statement at the head of their profile, has this really becme the single biggest point or attraction within the lifestyle?

Often see these kind of statements: 

“Will consider anyone who writes. Tell me what you are looking for”. 

But the question i find myself asking is who is in control here, is it the Dominant or is this a case of the submissive leading from the bottom by stating what they want……..

Surely it’s the Dominants needs that are to be met and a submissive’s true need should be wanting to be controlled and Owned by a true Dominant……


Just a random thought. 

So many Dom's on here that state they are "Hetero" but seek a male submissive or slave, makes the mind ponder why!

So many people have ceased to continue with Their journals which is a real shame, lots of great thoughts, experiences, information and stories to absorb. 

Keep on writing and sharing i say 🤪

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.


We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie,

In Flanders fields.


Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.


John McCrae



A Dominant should never have to demand ritual behaviour from Their submissive. 

Their submissive responds to Them out of the want and need of pleasing Them. 

Compliance comes from the desire to please and submit to the will and expectations of them as a submissive and not through the fear of punishment.

More about a fear of failing to succeed and be pleasing as well as failing themselves as a sub. 


Push Limits!!!


Lack of experience and imagination or just to make make a submissive do things they stated as a limit.

Fully understand pushing and developing a submissive towards the Dominants desires but those who start off by concentrating just on pushing & testing limits surely lack a true understanding of the lifestyle.

As always i welcome the views and comments of O/others.


The most potent sex organ is the mind. 

Control the mind and the body will follow. 

Making the ordinary and mundane the most extraordinary 



Service is my reward - Earn it.


Devotion is my duty - Provide it. 


Submission is my purpose - Live it and Embrace it.



This submissive’s Creed:


Respect Your time


Match Your efforts and requirements 


Keep my word


Always be honest


Stay committed and consistent regardless 


A mediocre Dominant tells.


A good Dominant teaches.


An excellent Dominant explains.


A true Dominant inspires.



Submission starts in the mind with a deep need to be controlled, not just physically but psychologically too. After all the mind is the most powerful organ. 


The physical side is also important and when submitting should be done so wholeheartedly to somebody who is firm but fair. 


There should be praise or reward if the sub does well, but also it should expect to be taught and corrected in no uncertain terms to do better when it fails to achieve the Dominant’s expectations. 


A large part of the mental control comes from effective control and discipline, rules or protocols that leave the submissive in no doubt of what is expected if it. 


For some people it’s all about degradation, but for others is about being loved, cherished, and adored.

Yet some people have a full on kink for proper, deep and complete degradation. So much so that they actively seek it out knowing they will be dragged through hell to the ends of the earth.

I'm curious about this. 


What about it feels good or drives the return for more? 

Why does it feel a need? 

Is there a cause or reason that has prompted this need?





Things like begging, bondage, obedience training, orgasm control are the literal definition of being Owned in a D/s dynamic 


A good Dominant wants the submissive to be on the same page as them, not only willing to have its limits pushed, but wanting it.


As people dont tend to reply to messages on here, You will need to message me first as I am not getting responses to messages on here. All reasonable messages replied to in a manner expected of a submissive. 


The BDSM lifestyle is often thought of as painful play and humiliation. 

Bruises and degradation. 

Is the kink lifestyle all pain and shame? 

Is there more to discover……



A submissive without an Owner has a life that seems to be without a purpose. 


The power of submission cannot be denied. In the end it’s really all about the depth of mental connection.


If you're not thinking about kink, you're just not concentrating.




Thought for the day.

It takes very little to make a person’s day.
It also takes very little to destroy it. 

Be kind unless its appropriate not to.



A submissive with Etiquette

To be owned by Someone who wants to understand me and know who i really am, Someone who can Dominate me like no One and mould me to be the best submissive i can be. Someone who will not give up if the road ahead looks to be undulating but will guide me to firmness. Someone with a “can make it work” attitude as opposed to dismissive. i am and will be a very committed and determined submissive who gives my utter respect, devotion and loyalty. 


Patiently waiting for my Leader to reach out and take hold of the reins. 


(i am unlikely to make first contact but will always reply to all in a fitting and courteous manner that should be fitting of an online submissive)



Funny thing about a good sub is they will do almost anything to please… 



“Exorcism” Is when the devils leave my body…

“Eroticism”! I meant “eroticism”…. 



i feel like there’s something missing in my life and i don’t know if it’s a shot of tequila, a kitten, fish and chips, or ………….

Dominants and submissives are complicated, but each is different. Expectations will vary as each searches for acceptance. If you do not understand, then you are not there yet.


So many people mistake kindness and good manners with weakness. 

A worthy submissive needs to be strong, remain committed even at the most testing times but above all remember its manners & place. 



What is meant by online friends?

An internet relationship is a relationship between people who have met online, and in many cases know each other only via the Internet. Online relationships are similar in many ways to pen pal relationships.



Commitment means staying loyal to what you were said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you 


Can it be simple? 


In Your most erotic and satisfying fantasy, are You doing it, or having it done to You?

In my defence I have been left unattended for way too long 

What is the purpose of being a Keyholder is it to end all pleasure or to be the source of pleasure? To be the One who controls it and to takes it to new and exquisite intensities. 


My Perception:  

Dominant: Ultimately holds all power & influence over others. Stern, Governing, Controlling, Commanding, Supreme, Authoritative, Influential, Powerful, Superior, Calculating, Demanding. It is about Them and not those inferior/below them.  

Submissive: Is a person who makes a conscious choice to give up some or all control of to another person. May. Have pre arranged limits that have been discussed prior but may be tested or even stretched at times.  

Slave: A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey. Limits are those of the Owner/Dominant.  

Switch: Someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a Top and other times a Bottom & generally a kinkster and neither a natural Dominant or Submissive but more into the kinky fun factor.  

Pro-Dom/me, Dominatrix, Fin Dom/me: profit making professional service through terms such as rates, fee's, charges, tributes & gifts. (Never to be confused with real Dominants IMHO)


Not my words but found this interesting;


Five Stages Of Degradation


Stage 1: Denial
The subject has not yet acknowledged the reality in which it exists. It may see Your intentions but believe You are not willing to go through with them, or it may imagine You are playing a game with it. Moving quickly beyond this stage is typically not difficult, but while doing so, keep Your longterm goals in mind.


Stage 2: Anger
The subject begins to realize what Your intentions are. it frequently reacts with outrage, threats, or aimless animosity. The louder these are, the greater the subject’s potential for eventual harnessing and use, since loudness is directly proportional to fear.


Stage 3: Bargaining
The subject has exhausted its capacity for anger. It is now prepared to accept some degree of Your authority. Exercise care in this stage, as overt force may induce it to regress to the previous stage. On the other hand, any slackening in Your authority will produce an unsatisfactory result. Make use of its weaknesses, physical or mental, in order to unbalance and debilitate it further.


Stage 4: Despair
Having failed to retain any scrap of its persona at the bargaining table, and seeing no way out, the subject falls into despair. Take this moment to step back calmly. Allow it to understand what it has become.


Stage 5: Acceptance
In order for the subject to move out of despair into a productive state, You must draw its attention to a goal outside itself that it can achieve. Any task will do that will occupy its deflated faculties and give it a feeling of success. Some subjects may take a perverse pleasure in the state of degradation itself, but don’t count on this. Examples of good tasks include retrieving an , obeying simple commands, or expressing gratitude to You.


Not all subjects will present all stages in the typical order. A subject accustomed to degradation will likely already find itself at stage 5, while a raw subject may need multiple revisits of stages 1 through 4 before it has been adequately broken down. 


Does Pain Get Easier To Bear? 

I have limited experience, but I know this: moments of connection with another human being are patently rare. But rarer still are those who can recognise such a connection when they see one.


Pain or Punishment 


Masochists ask for pain for pains sake & need


...but punishment is something different. 


Punishment is not meant to please it is a means to correct, to re-aline, to educate, to change a behaviour. 


Punishment means you are going to suffer physically or mentally or even both.


There will be no fun or excitement in punishment but it likely to be very memorable. 

Tell me about the time you first felt comfortable and secure in your kinky self……….


Thoughts on submission


Submission is not about being used, Submission is about being of use.


Submission is not thinking less of yourself, Submission is thinking of yourself less.


Submission is not about what is done to you, Submission is what you can do for Them.



At Their feet…

…a place to kneel in devotion

…a place to listen attentively

…a place to adore Their mind

…a place to worship Their body

…a place to understand a lesson

…a place to feel home

…a place for so much more



True submission is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.

Looking to be inspired 

A mediocre Dominant tells.

A good Dominant teaches. 

An excellent Dominant explains, but a true Dominant will inspire.

Seems there are increasing numbers of Dominants who use hypnotherapy here and even online. At a guess there must be a need for lengthy sessions and properly trained personnel to induce hypnotic suggestion surely?


Maybe i don’t get this method of control or my lack of understanding is the issue but ultimately feel there should be a need to be some kind of formal training to employ such a potentially powerful method of control of a submissive. 


Physical attractions are common


Mental connections are rare


Once you have had the latter, the

former will never be enough again.


This is not about what i want but what my Dominant wants.


Instantaneous submission has no substance so if You contact me to for a quick thrill You will be wasting Your own time firstly along with mine of which i will then be forced to respond in a fitting & appropriate manor. 



The decision to become Owned is not one that should be taken lightly. It often involves completely giving up control of multiple aspects of your life including when you can use the bathroom.

The concept of being Owned refers to a person who has surrendered themselves as personal property and freedoms and become the property or chattel of their Owner.

Making this commitment means that they have given the right for their Owner to exercise authority over them in some sense, within a relationship  which could extend to full time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

A submissive would likely to have agreed limits with the Owner prior to making the agreement. 


A slaves only limits are those that the Owner sets for them if any.

A good mantra for a submissive to live by...

A submissive’s life is to be in service as required and of service however desired and solely for their Dominant and Owners pleasure amusement and comfort.

A submissive’s function should be to strive to be a completely willing and capable of serving for the constant enhancement of the Dominant and Owner's daily life and pleasure in every way possible and on a continuous basis with absolute obedience, commitment and dedication.

A submissive understands that the decisions and rules of the Dominant are to be accepted and followed without hesitation or conflict at all times regardless of personal feelings or conflict. 

A submissive understands and willingly accepts that it needs its Dominant’s control, use, discipline and punishment as deemed fit at anytime.

A submissive needs to accept that it's Dominants and Owner's pleasure, amusement and comfort must be its priority and be all that really matters to the submissive foremost.

A submissive understands and accepts that its own pleasure must come from how well it pleases, serves and accepts being used and controlled by it's Dominant and that it may be rewarded if deemed appropriate or pleasurable to its Owner.

The concept of being Owned refers to a person who has surrendered themselves as the personal property or chattel of their Owner - Master or Mistress.


A submissive has usually given up their rights and freedom for their Owner to exercise authority over them within a relationship that may extend to full time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


The submissive has given up all limits except those which their Owner sets or has agreed for them.


From that point on obedience will always be expected first and foremost regardless of its personal feelings. 

An interesting thought:

Bondage isnt bondage until you want out.

Just for fun: 

Question: You have one chance, for one honest answer. 

You can ask me one question, Any question, about anything no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it maybe……..

No catch. 

But i dare you to post this on your status and see what people ask you!

One step further is finding a mindset where anticipation and attempts to read between the lines and self assess disappear into a purely reactive mindset. Evaluation is made by the Owner. What is next is determined by the Owner.

Is this about sex or is it about control and submission, offering yourself to another knowing that your not the priority, your needs will never come first and at times you will be vulnerable and exposed to someone clearly your Superior and will control you to suit Their needs & expectactions regardless of your feelings 

submission is not about sex or sexuality, it's about commitment to One who is clearly Superior, in control & not afraid to take the lead of those prepared to offer themselves to the One.

Sometimes i wonder if people are speaking to so many other people at the same time that it explains why they get confused with where your at, what's been said, what commitments have been made. 

Some days it's about the protocol, some days it's about the discipline, other days it’s accepting kindness, or cruelty.

There are people who are happy with one flavor of this, not me. Being locked into only one mindset shows no creativity and no adaptability.  

i try to remain flexible, i know the more flexible the better (in mind & body).

It's hard for an educated man to turn his head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours.

When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent.

All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel ..

What is a sub slave? So many pay reference to this on here.

Surely it should be submissive or slave. 

my belief has always been that i am a submissive first & could only ever offer my submission, slavery would come through time, trust & pure dedication to my Owner who in turn could enslave me in time.

Maybe this is only my perception but open to true opinion.