skinprof

Absolute fabulous visit!  Miss him already.

M.

I'm so excited, Tony is coming tomorrow.  It has been so tough with his job and three challenging kiddos.  

Yet he is making the drive tomorrow and we'll have the weekend! WOOT!.

Been working around the cabin, so a lot has been put away, gallery walls completed, furniture and rugs placed, things look so much different from the last time he was here!  I left Christmas up, so we could have our own celebration .  I usually leave things til the end of Eppphany

, a wee longer is no big deal, especially because I was late in getting things up .

My father has been calling me a lot. He said he wants to move in with me , again. Not til Spring.  I don't know if he is mad at my niece and using me as a threat, or if he's finally ready to do it.

We'll see, I'm not holding my breath. Cataract surgery next week, I can't wait!  I have been struggling for a year and a half!  Hopefully all will go well, and glasses will be occasional, rather than continuously!.

Bedtime. 

M.

Things have changed yet AGAIN!

My father has declined to the point , that he is afraid to move  in with me.  I structured my whole life around this. Closed my business, left my condo, friends, clients, swing dance community, and support network, plus my Sir.

I didn't pick this place for job opportunities,  I was going to care for my father until the end.

 He backed out of coming twice and then let it slip that they, my niece, her failing husband and my father were moving 15 hours away!  I may never see him again!   My world has turned upside down.

Now I'm scrambling to get reciprocity for my license, sending out reaumes, and praying to secure employment. Starting over yet again.

The one good thing out of this, is the bathroom in the cottage, is completely renovated.  It is stunning , just gorgeous! Porcelain tiled shower , elegant grab bars, not clinical looking at all, all metal shower fixtures, top quality, new toilet, new sink, beautiful oval mirror and lights.  When renovating, when the wall was stripped down, we even found a window!  I prepped the bedroom, learned to skim coat, scraped  sanded, and primed it. I found gorgeous furniture for the parlor, a large couch, chair and a half and a darling tiny gingham print wing chair. A gas operated cast iron stove  stove is in place and hooked up. Now I need to finish the kitchen.  I stripped the wall paper boarders, several of them. Then came across a metal seam! Uuuugh!  Put one layer of skim coating and need to sand that down. Another one or two more coats , then I sand and paint.

At this point I haven't decided whether I'll do my esthetic business or a small daycare out of the cottage.  Either way, I need a part time job before I decide, and complete it. I landscaped the front of it, and it looks darling.   The covered screenedin front porch has two Amish gliders. I saw my dad in those, rocking outside , safe and comfortable. Siiiiigh.

Anyhoo, I need to push forward, live in the now for a bit.

My Sir has been out , and his next time is on my birthday.

Hopefully all will go smoothly this time. Last time work took two of our days together .

Miss him being around the corner. I can't believe it's been over two years!

I am feeling so frustrated right now. Tony has tried to come and spend time, his job has him all over, and his struggling children are creating stress and anxiety.

It is very difficult to not feel frustrated and sad.  I am patient  , and I'm beginning to lose that quality.

I have so many things in the air and I miss his presence.

At this time in my life I want peace , togetherness, a solid base. I'm tired of missing people in my life. 

I miss my children, I miss my friends, I miss my swing dancing, I miss my sweet Mulligan, I miss so much.

I'm feeling exhausted and at times I just want to sleep.

I haven't had time to meet new people here.

Swing dancing island option, I was spoiled with what I had in D.C.

I'm interested in pickle ball, and it may be an outlet. I haven't played competitive tennis since 2012. I really enjoyed that.

Dance is better for the brain and balance though.

I made the choice to move , based on my father's needs, my needs and a better life.

At 98, my father started back tracking and my niece gate keeping. I had pretty much given up on his moving  into the cottage.

Now I am scrambling to get it all ready for his " visit ".

He will be checking it out, and then deciding if he wants to stay.

Meanwhile I'm finding furniture , overseeing a contractor,  landscaping and gardening, while simultaneously driving all over to pick things up.

My things are still in boxes and I have a million balls in the air.

Tony an I haven't seen each other since May 6th, and we're missing each other terribly.

I love him and want to be with him.

Siiiigh.

M.

I am finally in WV!

It was a hectic past three months. 

I don't know what I would have done without  my wonderful Dom, Tony!

It has taken four days to recover from the stress of moving.

 With the weekend packing, loading,  renting a huge cargo van, driving 6/7 hours, unloading and driving back for four weeks straight.  All while working and saying goodbyes.  Add to this, two parents having their separate issues, and projecting them...it's over!

I'm in a cabin with my pets.

Tony and I are working on adjusting.

He trying to find a remote position, so he can come this way.

Me trying to adjust to an area I have never been , and know not a soul here.

Setting up utilities, , registering, making sure mail gets to me,  and all the things that go with a huge move.

I'm still unpacking, and then I have to get the cottage ready to lease.

 That will be a bit weird for me, I reeeeally like my privacy.

But I need to set up passive income.

Lots to do, I miss you Tony

M.

Seller accepted everything I wanted.. Down to the last details. In underwriting and waiting for a closing date. This limbo has been emotionally draining.

I have clients who are sticking by me, wondering if they have one more appt. , or am I leaving.

It seems it will be soon, just don't know when.

I have all sorts of emotions.  I'm feeling  so ambivalent  and anxious.

I'm stepping so far out of my comfort zone. 

I will know noone, will have to learn a whole new area. Grow a circle of new friends, find doctors, dentists, car maintenance, vet, etc etc.

I will be setting a cottage for my dad, finding a caretaker for the weekends, and setting up braille lessons for him.

There will be much to do, packing, loading moving, unloading unpacking, arranging. On top of this , I'll be going into growing season, which means I will have a lawn on top of landscaping and gardening ! 

What was I thinking? I'm not 30

I'm  going to miss many of my clients,  they have become special to me.  My friends  too ! The comfort of familiarity and confidence in my knowledge of my area.  I'm a native to my part of the state.

I will not miss the politics of the DC area.

I've watched it become so contentious and intolerant. I'm so sick of the constant drum beat of pernicious propaganda. 

I've been back and forth, since before Thanksgiving , with the contract I have on a cabin In WV.

Unfortunately the agent was a flake.

Over the years , I've bought and sold homes. This agent was a hot mess.

Finally had to get the broker involved, and replace the her.

The present one is on the ball.

D and I drove to the cabin and he checked it top to bottom.

There were concerns from the home inspection, and he calmed my mind. He said the place had great bones, the windows were all in good shape, the hot water heater was two years old , gas furnace will out live me, metal roof is fairly new...

There is a cottage on the property, off the back set back from the cabin.  Its about eight hundred sq. feet , plus a screened in front porch! Perfect for my father, and he can't fall off.

It has a kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom and full bath.

It too has a new metal roof.

Added an addendum  for a few things, we'll see if they accept or counter.

Saying a little prayer and crossing my fingers.

M.

I'm getting closer to purchasing a home.  I will bring my 97 yo father

If I get the duplex I want, he will live in one side and I in the other.

This way we both have privacy.

When his time comes, then I'll lease it and have a bit of passive income, maintenence and

Tax money.

I'm crossing my fingers and praying to the big guy, no NOT Branden

Tony has been great about it all, and said we'd figure out the details of continuing our relationship 

and how.

M.

Working and researching hard to find a new area to live and purchase a home.

Presently Tony is being very supportive and positive.

He is working towards new certifications, which will afford him the 

luxury of working remotely. 

He has encouraged me not to worry about where I choose.

That it is most important for me to be settled and then we would work out the details.

This relieves me, for I do not wish us to dissipate.

I am so happy with him and us.

It is a great fit.

M.

I'm using this to vent.

I am very frustrated and depressed.

In the month of August I've had two deaths and I had to put down my 3 pound baby girl, Mulligan. 

.on top of this I have had a 100.00 increase in my rent. It is killing me, 

For I'm being priced out of my home and area.

I have been looking for a place to live, or purchase, but I don't have a lot of options. Presently in the DC metro area, and

I cannot afford anything here.

At 63 almost 64 , this is not where I invisioned myself. And yes it 

Is a crappy place to be.

I'm feeling very down. 

May 02, 2024

So incredibly pleased to be yours Tony !

I feel we are such a lovely match.

I can't believe we're coming upon a year so soon!

It always amazes me how fortunate we are to have found each other and have such

an excellent blend of Vanilla, and D/s.

Supporting each other, learning and growing together has been seamless.

Thank you, hugs

Yours,

M.

It has been years since I've been on here. I left because the ability to journal was no longer an option. Apparently it has been restored!!

This past Summer someone who first viewed me here, found me on Fet.  He remembered my profile and reached out.

I was not looking to find someone. And pretty much saw  myself as content to be alone. It was a fluke that I went on Fet , after 1.5 years. Just as I am on here for several years away.  Presently,  I am in a lovely dynamic, with a very good Dom.  He and I see the world and more through  similar lenses.

While a new dynamic, I feel so comfortable.  We fit.

It is not easy to find someone who has similar,  faith, politics, perspective on D/s ,

and compatibility, as well as have vanilla life be a great fit too. We have found the needle in the stack of needles!  

 I appreciate this man very much, and can see myself with him , I can see a future.

Tony I am yours, through thick and thin,  I have your 6 and feel the same.

You have my heart  

M.