The Lighthouse Within: Illuminating Love and Power in Dynamic Union I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this i tweaked this song with a higher pitch and a faster beat to really get into a deeper and more fulfilling emotional space than the song was. however, i am moving most of my platforms to something more professional ish and don't want to deal with the copyright. just know if you pitch it up and move it to a faster speed it's a different experience that is. beyonce's voice sounds more childish, impish, and little girl ish. a emotional and mental state i can resonate with more fully as an adult and little girl. the jayz voice sounds more of a stronger timber and more of a high hit on the drum sound....something more direct and focused and intentional and intense. the sounds in the background that are celebratory sound grander. the piano sounds angelic and full of joy, uplifting, something literally awesome. awe·some /ˈôsəm/ adjective extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear. something other wordly, something in the clouds, something more expansive than earth ever can be. Uh, uh, uh This (uh, uh) is (uh, uh), ouu! Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like, "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love Representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still) I put it down for the 713 and we still got love for the streets (ow!) We played it cool at the pool of the Cancun, VMA Confidence you exude make the fools stay away Me, I played the room, let the fools have they say Fate had me sitting next to you on the plane And I knew straight away, uh The next time we would speak was like two years away You had a man, you shut it down until you two had a break I bet that dude rued the day You kept me up on the phone while you were away You came back, I let you set the date, Nobu on the plate I brought my dude to play it cool, my first foolish mistake Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this Queen, I ain't mean no disrespect But the way I network, it's hard for me to connect My first time in the ocean went exactly as you'd expect Meanwhile, you going hard, jumping off the top deck A leap of faith, I knew I was up next I never told you, but I told a few people we wed Me, I'm off to Rome, you going back home instead My first time in my life a live nigga felt dead You came back, I had to act like it was cool in my head Thoughts of jumping the broom, a player never been swept Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) To all the good girls that love hustlers To the mothers that put up with us To all the babies that suffered cause us We only know love because of ya this song talks about still being from where you are from. the 713. this song doesn't need to be decoded as deep as others. it's a tale of two bodacious bombastic people. i see it in the daddy dominant and little girl personality and identities. strong, powerful, like greek gods in sculptures running the world. pushing the line between safe and da

i just miss him so much and all I want to do is make things right between us again. I know there's alwasy a reason behind everything he does, but I have thought of all that I think it could be this time. I've admitted my wrongs, sat with his words and mulled them over extensively, and examined my behavior over the last few weeks. I've given him space the last week aside from updating him on the necessary and important things he absolutely should know, and still, not a word in response. I'm at a loss as to how to resolve this without communication and for that, he has to be willing to respond, to talk. Many would say this is not right for him to do, and I only half agree. The fuck up was mine. Entirely. I just have no idea how to prove to him that I'm sorry and intend to work on improvements and growth. It also saddens me that he has not so much as seemed at all troubled by our lack of contact. Though, I don't know this for certain, but how do you go so long with no contact with your slave if you love them as much as you say you do, and want them just as much? I'm doubting a lot lately, and losing more and more hope as the days pass.  I won't give up, though. I am his, forever. Whether he considers me his anymore or not. I just wish he would tell me, either way. Even if he still needs more time, I just want to know I am still his if I am. And I want to know if I'm not, if I'm not.  I feel like I'm in limbo, a state of purgatory. Banished from even learning my fate. It's painful. It's agonizing. It feels cruel and confusing. And it doesn't feel particularly safe, though with him, as his, I feel perfectly safe. But in this space of frozen in time, hanging limp from fated thread, I am scared. Terrified that it may be over. I've broken so many times since we last spoke. And I'm still breaking. Every fracture piercing the deepest depths of me. The knowledge that I caused this for myself? Makes his last words to me sting all the more: Enjoy the misery you bring on yourself. 

    Shopping for harnesses makes me want to design a more woman friendly design    

A slave define destiny ; A slave surrenders all its human rights and civil liberties and indeed it has no real need of them. The slave is after all just a mere nonentity that is the owned property of its lawful owner. A slave is not its owners spouse, lover, friend, associate, colleague; it is its owners owned property...period. The slave cannot say what it pleases, do what it pleases or go where it pleases. It can only do what it is told and go where it is told.  Being a slave is by no means an easy option in life. A slave must have plentiful labor to keep it busy during the day so it’s never really idle.  Some owners require it to endure painful suffering in order to alleviate their own stressful anxieties and/or to enhance their three dimensional cathartic euphoria and improve and maintain their general well being. Even when safety is ensured it is no easy task for the slave to endure.  it has been the custom and tradition for a slave to be kept completely in various types of restraint to restrict but not prevent movement. Such restraints have varied but included shackles, locked or soldered collars, locked chastity restraints. These have served a purpose of demonstrating to the slave and to others that it is property that owns and has access to nothing of its own and that it is completely owned and under the absolute power of its designated owner. It also additionally served to reinforce the slavery through humiliation, degradation and subjugation.    When it comes to clothing there is little room for compromise. Clothing for a slave is a privilege and slaves clothing is chosen for them, they embrace the Masters desires plain and simple . Failure to adopt this simple rule will give the slave ideas above his station.    A slave belongs to its owner and is on the periphery of its owner’s life, not at the center of the owner’s life. It places a servile and support function role only. Its conduct in slavery must be impeccable and it must never ever let its owner down.  A slave is never allowed to look at its owner's face.  A slave should never ever have access to the same luxuries that a freeborn person has. It should be housed in a small locked room or a cage when it is resting or sleeping or otherwise not required. Adequate heating and ventilation provided along with food and drink and mobile toilet facilities during its confinement stay.  Once owned the slave should not have any further contact with family or friends nor should it watch television, listen to the radio, read newspapers, periodicals, books, use the computer, or telephone and write to anyone. It also has no right of complaint about its treatment as a slave or any right of appeal to a third party.  It is property that is owned and so it must remain. Once negotiations have ceased and agreement reached about the parameters of the said slavery, the slave itself must offer itself unconditionally and not place any hindrance in the way of its owner’s legitimate right to use her owned property as she herself chooses within the agreed parameters.   

i really cooked with this one. kitty gang kitty gang kitty gang ah.     being a mystic of the scriber variety i have learned when i am going through something of a personal nature that is just for me to figure out on my own and hold deep in my heart. but there are often things that i'm going through that the collective is going through. either as fellow femmes be it afab woman gay men with a feminine essence non gendered third gendered with a feminine vibe..all in between...or even a human experience...there are times where i'm going through something.i was going through something..something is coming for me to come through that is a MESSAGE. this is one i know that i'm not alone in..i see it on social media all the time. this is a collective thing for femmes. i hear it when i do leave the house....but this one is more raw for me because i haven't mastered it yet. and it's something i actively work on, prayer, meditation magic to the self, therapy, inner work, inner dialogue, dialoguing with coaches, working with my sisters..practicing carrying wood, chopping water..under the cold as ice water meditating.....running up the stairs rocky style trying to master.....i am better at this now..but the deep raw wound..the deep raw wild unbridled intense all consuming pull..it's still very real for me...and whenever i've been in a romantic relationship or trying to get one that never launches because dating a dark goddess with intuition and a deep psychic awareness of others emotions is a heavy task to sign up for...haha there is no hiding with someone like me and most men can't hang. and even those that want the challenge will often be met past their personal limits and ragequit out quietly or loudly.  this one is harder for me to share because i'm still in the belly of the beast with this. i haven't mastered this yet. i'm much better than i was in my 20s...and each time before i ejected myself from the sauce i got better and better..but there's still so much for me to master..and these feelings..they are so primal it's hard to wrangle or even admit is a thing. but this is definately a collective message i am individually still working on figuring out the solution too that i'm being called to be bold, brave, and as a mystic scriber connect myself to.   the vulnerability has to this point earned me zero dollars, so no bacon yet....but the bacon is in the spiritual emotional mental decorations i have as a solider of love. ai no message with a puffed chest not fake but due to everything i have and will go through that many will never recover from or begin to touch. a puff my chest for knowing the depths of what i have and will face. an earned prowess.   being vulnerable about what’s hard for you and acknowledging the discomfort as part of the mystic path. It’s that raw honesty, mixed with the courage to embrace being “a lot,” that resonates deeply. Mystics often have to sit with their shadows and discomfort, and turning that into glory is part of what makes the journey so transformative. Writing about this, even when it’s difficult, is where the real magic happens. You’re not just owning your strength but also showing others the deep, spiritual work behind it. It’s a brave, warrior-like approach to the mystic path, facing the discomfort head-on to find glory on the other side.   let me call in my sophia encoded soul sister doja cat here. when you play at this level people confuse the outward expression with being troubled and alone...we usually only get this way becauseeeeeeeee we have the outside support including therapy..we only GET to unearth this rawness because we AREN'T alone..don't confuse the heavy topics and unraveling with aimless direction.   "I read it, all the comments sayin', "D, I'm really shooketh" "D, you need to see a therapist, is you lookin'?" Yes, the one I got, they really are the best Now I feel like I can see you bitches is depressed I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest   Look at me, look at me, I'm naked Vulnerability earned me a lot of bacon I put a thong all in my ass and taught you how to shake it I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation Y'all fall into beef but that's another conversation I'm sorry, but we all find it really entertaining 'Cause we all wanna see them slip and fall right on their faces And we all wanna be the one to see the devastation Not be in it, but ain't the bad press good? The disrespect's real, how this Patek look? Pull out the checkbook, now why your neck crooked? I never learn to superstar from a textbook Talkin' 'bout, "She fallin' off, why she get booked?" Man, I been humble, I'm tired of all the deprecation Just let me flex, bruh, just let me pop shit "Why she think she Nicki M? She think she hot shit," hmm I never gave a F, go stir the pot, bitch I got y'all head all in the dirt just like a ostrich Of course, you bitches comparin' Doja to who the hottest" a love and light bitch would do naked to appeal to the male sexuality or the light sexuality. she would be posing provocatively to entice someone to want to fulfill their urges to touch themselves to engage and interact with the sexual energy. they would've touted a good girl sweet aesthetic, a girl next door or a playboy bunny vibe. we're old enough and human enough to know what sex is for a man of any gender that is attracted to a woman be it straight pansexual bisexual whatever. we know what the vibe is....when a man and woman think sex and naked we know.   doja is my tribe she is a wolf she is a devil as she said a demon a yokai like me.   we're bloody when we're naked. we stare at you deep in your soul. if you tussle with us we look you in your eye that's why so many black rapper lilith girls rap that we stare you in the eye when we're fucking because we ain't scared. those eyes maybe white in the back of our sockets but we're doing it because we face the uncomfortableness head on. her body stance isn't leaning to a side or trying to make curves...it isn't trying to be soft or feminine or wild or water....it's at attention it's direct it's commanding it's powerful. her chest isn't hiding her breads it is straight puffing it.   she's bloody because like me we face our uncomfortableness over and over and over again. this is a different type of naked..and if you tussle with a dark goddess of any variety and are blessed to either emotionally mentally spiritually or even hitting the jackpot of love and sexually be naked with her..this is what you get. kudos for the sacred sigil symbology here too sis. love her for that. we're magical girls with foresight.   and yet with all this power.....there's a deep struggle....in this level of nakedness...in how we engage with the complimentary but opposite energetics of men and how they operate and their worlds and how they are made....ad doja is helping me dive into that; if you listen to the song..how does she say look at me? it's not nice, it's not sweet....IT'S DESPERATE IT'S LIKE SOMEONE YELLING CLAWING BEGGING MAD AGGRESSIVE WAILING OVERWHELMING IT'S DIFFERENT LAYERS OF FEELING ALL IN ONE WILD CHAOTIC SECOND. LOOK. AT. M.E LEWKATME LEWK-AT-ME.....   LOOK AT ME   and for the men who aren't sacred away by that passion and want to try and will reach back and will touch and won't ghost, won't dip, won't demonize, won't therapize, won't logic but meet this wild nature creature..how does she respond?   qui

I have been in severe physical pain from a recent surgery. I chose to let myself feel it seep through my body so I could concentrate on it. Meditate on it. Use it to help me find clarity and wisdom. Every time I felt like I could not find a comfortable position to lay, or awakened with fresh discomfort, I tried to memorize it since it is my only chance to catch a glimpse of what a sub does. After all, I am not interested in allowing anyone control or opportunity to inflict pain in any scene. I do not like pain but when the choice is between emotional, mental or physical, I believe it is somehow useful to let the physical carry you over the threshold. I wanted to be able to relate to what a submissive man seeks when he is reaching for that space between physical endurance and challenging his mind to accept his position despite all of society impying that he should never give in to his submissive needs.   I also wanted to use this opportunity to accept the decisions I am making that are emotionally difficult. The real truth about me as a Domminant woman is I desire true submission on MY terms, not his.    

It has been ages since I have been on this site so it will take me a bit to get used to the way this is set up. Kink: I am dominant, and am drawn to 24/7 Master/slave relationships with TPE, though I am not opposed to Dominant/submissive dynamics. In my head I think some of my tastes can be a bit extreme, I am well aware after all this time in this community that it is really just a matter of one's perspective, and I am down right vanilla in comparison to some. Other writtings and a more complete fetish list can be found on my FetLife profile. My interests include, but are not limited to: Anal Bimbofication Bathroom control Chastity Enemas Fisting, both vaginal and anal Humiliation Lactation Rimming Rough use S&M Toilet slavery Watersports Health: I get tested between partners, and when I am in poly relationships I get tested when it seems prudent depending on circumstances. I have both varieties of Herpes, and though I have not had an outbreak for over 5 years to the best of my knowledge, this is something potential partners should be aware of.  At my current age of 62 it might not be a surprise the I can have issues from time to time with erectile dysfunction. This is not an issue for me as I have always enjoyed using toys etc. and find a multitude of ways of enjoying myself.  I have for the last 2 1/2 years been dealing with PPPD which makes it seem as if the world is alway rocking 24/7 and leaves me with brain fog among a litany of other side-effaspects.   Other than these delightful tidbits I am healthy and in a shape.

She ponders, feeling nthe excitement and possibilities and the diving deeper in the world she craves. She can not help herself... She hits the button. It's been ordered... As her mind starts rolling with different scenarios, the fun.. helpless playful puppy she will be.. As she closes her eyes and drifts to sleep.. She's taken to the day her package arrives, so excited and thrilled for this New adventure. As she open her package, she realizes it will take more than her to but it on. Flustered, she sends him a pic of it.. she can feel he's excited for this play as well, they've only talked about it for years.. and now is the time. She takes it out, lays it out... Excited.. wanting to try it out, her attempts fail.. As she's packing her bag she packs in her suitcase, dressed as ordered wearing a plug, and vibration toy all locked up in her belt.. The key is on its way to him.. the question of what if it gets lost in the mail begins to pop up..How would it feel to be locked up and unable to escape his tortures? The feelings of excitement flow through her, she can stop the help less feeling of being locked up and unable to let herself free... As he has the key.. he holds the power to her pleasure, pain, her denial and her release. As she arrives to his place, she discovers a note on the door.. "Strip and kneel" She anxiously looks around, no neighbors outside, can she do this?? Her hearts beating out of her chest. She wants this... After a couple she takes a deep breath in and begins to follow his instructions, she removed her clothing but the belt and such stay in place. She forces her mind to shut off the thoughts of neighbors seeing, watching... Moments feel like house kneeling at his door... Awaiting. He calls her phone - "good girl" Thank you ,Sir she speaks softly.. What was that girl, speak up.. Her voice raises.. Thank you, Sir Sir- Much better girl Thank you, Sir Now - when the door opens, you know where to go and you will crawl to get to that space, there is to be no speaking. Is that understood, girl? Yes, Sir Moments later- the door opens and her head stays casted down, not sure what she's getting herself into. She arrives in that space, kneels in waiting legs apart, hands behind her back and gaze straight ahead. He brings in her play case.. lays things out before her.. she goes to grab for them, his commanding voice... Did I tell you to move from position, girl No, Sir.. That's right girl.. you are to keep position until I tell you other wise. Yes, Sir Now... Put your penis halter gag on, hood and your tail where they belong, hands behind back once done. He leaves the room, she does what's he's asked and back into waiting position. Her drool beginning to build, her cunt is nice and soaked and her scent is filling the room. Very good girl, speaking nas he enters the room and places her new gear in front of her. She blushes... Both with excitement and nervousness. He looks down at her, his first rule You will not speak.. unless given permission In fact you may only bark..1-bark yes2- barks no3 or more.. my puppy needs special attention Is that understood, Girl? She tries to speak with her mouth full... What was that girl.. she tries again.. All 4's girl, she gets into position, and he beats her ass... Puppies don't talk, do they girl... She's quite for a moment.. whap! Again she cries out .. whap.. Do puppies talk girl... She barks twice.. good girl.. Back on your knees girl. Remember this girl .. your days of control are over, this will become your day to day life.. Are you ready ?? In acceptance.. she barks once Quick learner I see, very good. Now... On your back girl.. He placed a blind fold over her eyes, the world around disappears. She's hears the sound of the straps and the smell of leather, she feels the leather sliding into place, and then the straps tightening in place.. he works her legs and then her arms... Or rather paws. Now girl, up on all 4s.. It takes her a couple of tries, but she gets it.. Very good.. She feels cold metal slipping around her next.. it's her training collar with points poking her neck.. a reminder to be the little obedient bitch is becoming. He walks out of the room.. with one word.. Stay.... To be continued...

Oh I wish I had a slave driver here, A useful chatty person near, Drives me to key appointments with notice set, Keen to be useful to me I bet. When I choose club play nights off we fly, Whips on his derriere produce mutual joy sighs.   Though now pleasant chat from the states only shows, Useless in practical life we all know. And I am a practical person through and through, So where are you Slave driver you not around tinges me blue.   Instead I am busy with study and skill, Developing life knowledge so my mind advances up a holl, Knowledge is power so I consume mine, Growing as a person through time.

Consent (a poem from one of my slaves) Tell me what you want.  Tell me it all. Speak your truth And I promise I will listen  With kindness in my heart. Your desires are yours and I am touched by your trust. You are safe to share all this with me. Ask me. My answer will be given with care. Expect nothing of me, except my honesty. Accept my honesty. I will ask the same of you. I said no to the one who had all the right answers I said no to the one who demanded my attention  I said no to the one who invaded my personal space I said no to the one who said I was gorgeous and expected me to be grateful I said no to the one I said yes to last week I said no to the one who grabbed my hand I said no to the one who was ambiguous and shifty I said no to the one who stole a kiss I said no to the one who got me drunk I said no to the one who bought me dinner I said no to the one who was incredibly good-looking and that’s all I said no to the one who told me things I already knew I said no to the one who touched my knee without asking I said no to the one who didn’t listen I said no to the one who said I was the one I said no to the one who thought I was their missing piece I said no to the one who just assumed I said no to the one who I just didn’t really like I said no to the one who got angry I said no to the one who pinched my arse I said no to the one who was lying to their lover I said no to the one who sent me a picture I didn’t ask for I said no to the one who was pompous I said no to the one who wanted me all to them self I said no to the one who didn’t want to take no for an answer I said no to entitlement And so did you. You didn’t move as you spoke, you just looked me in the eyes.  You wanted and you hoped and I could see your truth. And I asked you, “What do you want to do?” “I want to fuck you” you said. “I want to hurt you and enjoy the pain in your eyes” you said. “I want to degrade you and use you and make you my slave” you said. And I gave you my answer.

A sissy does not get to decide if it will have sex, with whom it will have sex, where it will have sex, when it will have sex or how it will have sex.     In fact, a sissy doesn’t “have sex”.     A sissy is USED for sex.    All fagged up in women’s stockings, women’s lingerie and makeup it is a kind of sexual prop to be used by men - real men - to bang up and relieve themselves in or on, when, how and where they choose.      When the man is finished with it, it is discarded, like a used condom, awash with his fluids, whimpering away pathetically in all it emasculation in stockings and girlie shit.  

  I am curious. I asked this question of several submissive men who responded to my ad; do you have a kinky resume?  This is exactly like a normal resume but instead details your kinky experience. I was told no; they did not have one.  Because my group is D/s oriented, we took on an Owner's Manual and Kinky Resume for our group.  Wow, the responses and excitement were awesome. As a group, we decided the work put into both of these items would help either side of the sash get to know their partners on a deeper level, and if triggers were set off, we each could handle them better.  This ramped up negotiations to a new level.  As one of the co-moderators for the event said, every car we own comes with an owner's manual, so why not one for us, like a car, we have moments when our "lights come on," or the shit hits the fan.  This is something I want to see. Everyone claims experience, but what classes are they taking to be good at XYZ?  What events do they attend, and so on.  What do you think? 

Dallas — April 23–25 I’ll be in the city briefly, and I don’t waste time on unfocused or unprepared men. I’m open to select company while I’m there—but understand this is not casual, and it’s not for those who need to be convinced of their place. I will not be alone. My wife will be present—she is intelligent, composed, and fully aware of my dynamic. You will conduct yourself with the same level of respect, awareness, and restraint you would expect in the presence of accomplished women. This is not a space for nervous energy, over-talking, or performative behavior. I expect presence, discretion, and a clear understanding of how to approach properly. You should come prepared—mentally, logistically, and otherwise. I don’t guide from the ground up in a limited window. If you understand structure, composure, and how to present yourself with intention, you may be worth my time. Dallas is a short stay. Make your approach count. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

In my new found enthusiasm for the Journal function, I have taken the liberty of borrowing the following from Master Scoollink's site which struck me as very interesting. After training, He writes,  "slave will have the ability to prepare a "USERS MANUAL."  A document that identifies what slave is good for. The goal of this document is to describe how to best interact with slave to achieve desired response. It is a manual that could be handed to a stranger to provide the tools to better provide any Dominant a satisfying experience with slave. The "Manual" can also serve as a foundation for a future Dominant. I love the thought of preparing a document like that - not least because it would provide my current Master with an excellent diagnostic tool for the mind-set of His slave.  It might be that the slave thought its utility was best described in one way whereas the Master's view was otherwise - in whcih case some retraining would be indicated to get slave reoriented in th eright direction. 

8-23-2022 Tuesday night.. i took my shower, my daughter was over and left about 10 or 10 30 PM, i had started to feel chilled and for another blanket.. making for 3 blankets i had on top of me! After suffering so long, an hour or two, and developing a fever of 103.6 degrees. i decided i was not waiting until morning, hoping the fever may break overnight. EMS came, one of them ended up being a second cousin!! That was cool to meet a family member. They got me to the hospital s emergency room and i was kept there until 8 AM, i know this because i had to ask if i could get some breakfast while i was in the emergency room. i was diagnosed with an infection in my wound. For those that do not know.. i have two wounds on my back of my right thigh as the result of having lymphedema. The hospital did not say about becoming septic! That has happened, maybe four or more times, in the past. i stayed at the hospital until September 1st when they transferred me to a skilled nursing care facility for further wound care and therapy. i have not been updated with a tentative release date, yet. But it better come soon! my daughter is getting married next month on October 30th!!  Therapy is going very well, they are so happy with my progress. 

Embracing My Feminine Submission 🌸✨ Today, I find myself reflecting deeply on my journey of submission, a path sprinkled with the soft petals of my femininity and the resonating echo of my girlish heart. There's an undeniable intertwining of these identities, each one validating and magnifying the other, creating a tapestry of self that I continue to weave with delicate, yet eager hands. 🎀. OMG, Total introspection! Like, deep-diving into my submissive heart and its BFF relationship with all things girly and femme. It’s crazy how these parts of me just click together. It’s as if the universe went, “Hey girl, here’s some sparkle for your soul,” and BAM, I’m living my authentic self. 💁✨ Being submissive isn't just a role I've adopted; it's a celebration of my most authentic self, where my natural inclinations to yield and please are not just accepted but revered. It's in this sacred space that my girlishness - the sweet, effervescent joy I find in the simplest things, and my feminine essence - the flowing well of nurturing, intuitive emotion, come together in a beautiful, symbiotic dance. 💃❤️. It is like...my heart’s home. It’s where my love for pleasing isn’t just okay; it’s adored. And this space? It’s where my inner girl - all giggles, twirls, and happy tears - gets to hang out with my woman-self. They chat, they laugh, they cry, they share skincare tips (lol), and together, they’re just me. 💕👛 Now, let’s talk fashion, because honey, my subby side loves to dress up. It’s like every outfit is a secret message, all “this is me, this is real.” The fabrics kiss my skin, the swish of a skirt, the jingle of my bangles - girl, it’s all part of the symphony, you know? 🎵👠 I dress myself in the aesthetics of my submission, each garment a symbol of soft surrender. The silk feels like whispers against my skin, the colors, pastel or vibrant, mirror my mood, and the act of choosing what to wear is less about fabric and more about wrapping myself in a visible representation of my identity. The bangles on my wrists sing with every movement, a gentle, constant reminder of the delicate strength I carry within. 💅👗 But real talk, submission isn’t just a look. It’s like...a heart agreement. It’s built on mega trust and this super special respect-package. It’s not a solo gig, either. It takes two to tango, and when His strong, guiding hand finds mine? Magic. It’s like I’m free in a way only us in the know get. 🙈💫. it goes beyond the tangible. My submission is painted in the strokes of trust, painted with the brush dipped in the hues of reverence and devotion. It's an artwork that requires two, though - one to surrender and one to accept the offering. It's a mutual dance, and when guided by a firm, loving lead, I find the purest freedom, a paradox that only those in this intricate dynamic can truly understand. 🌹🔐 In my day-to-day, whether I'm tending to my tasks, engaging with others, or lost in quiet moments of reflection, my submission hums softly in the background, a soundtrack only I can hear. It's in the way I craft my space, a blend of comfort, beauty, and order. It's in the way I express my care for those around me, a pour from the pitcher of my heart. And it's most loud and clear in the stillness of the night, when I journal my thoughts and experiences, each word a thread in the tapestry of my submissive journey. 🌙✍️ The resilience of my journey isn't lost on me. There's a profound strength in vulnerability, a courage in femininity that the world often overlooks. As I continue this journey, I do so with an open heart, celebrating the girly joy, the sensual submission, and the intricate femininity that makes me whole. Here's to the paths we walk, the roles we cherish, and the selves we continue to discover. 🥂💕

Making yourself attractive to other people really does not have to be that difficult. 1. Don't be an asshole. 2. When you send an entre email, consider sending more than just "hi/hey/'sup/you look sexy" because, to be honest, for myself, and for many others, those are auto-dump phrases that will get your email tossed directly into the trash can. Have something to write that makes me actually want to converse with you.  3. Have a picture of you that is flattering. If you want anonymity, use a filter over your face. This is 2024, figure it out. The number of times I have heard the excuse, " I need to be discreet because of my job, etc" is ridiculous. I have worked in healthcare and in the school system with small children. I have had federal background checks done on me. My face is very clearly shown on several social media platforms where I am nude. I haven't had an issue. Trust me, if the government really cared if you were naked on here, you would know it already.  4. Actually read profiles and pay attention to what is in them!   

Secret Room "Of her naked body this: that he had never seen anything so beautiful." -Lindsay Hall, Sea of Hooks (My mission is to get you all to read this book)  

I am not ashamed to admit that this morning I was in a Neil Diamond mood. I have weeks where I am singing Cracklin' Rosie all day. Not so much lately, hence the need. I have my favorites and the songs I skip over. I play Forever in Blue Jeans twice. So I am driving to work, merging with people who don't know how to merge, and a song queues up that I would normally skip over. But I was clueless merging so I wasn't paying attention. And then I hear the words. Far. We've been traveling far. Without a home. But not without a star.  All of the sudden I start tearing up thinking about how people left everything and everyone for an unknown, optimistic opportunity. And the song goes on.  Free. Only want to be free. We huddle close. Hang onto a dream.  At this point I am full on ugly crying with red rimmed eyes, sniffling, trying to see because I'm driving around a bend, and I'm coming up to the parking lot a red rimmed, sniffling mess. Deep breaths. Composure. Skip Heartlight today and for all eternity. Head into work. Tell me it's not just me? If you say I'm hormonal I will deck you. 

      The Democratic Dom: While it might sound like an oxymoron this Dominant is one who controls by agreement. Limitations, conditions, safe words, and times & places are all agreed upon beforehand and strictly adhered to.  Discussions between the Dom and sub are the norm and written contracts are not unheard of.     Punishment is both a training tool and very often a reward. It is dispensed by the Dom to achieve or reinforce a certain behavior in his sub and at the same time as a pleasurable (sexual) stimulation for the sub. While both punishment and reward may be two distinct areas in the relationship, many times the lines .     Submissives who are attracted to these situations are those who want the same agreed condition and especially the limitations. They can be called feisty, bad little girls, spoiled, hard to tame, because they like to challenge the limits and/or rules. Or because they have certain fears.     This can be a game area where fun supersedes the Dominant/submissive operative. The Dominant and submissive like the actual and varied activities and enjoy each other when participating in them. In many cases the submissive does not actually want to surrender but likes playing as if she does.     These relationships seem to be less long term, as this is the area where “thrill seekers” usually reside. Many like this type of situation since it is a convenient and safe way to play with D/s. It is fun and it makes it easy to feel like they are indeed practicing D/s. These same people while enjoying D/s related scenes are not as into the emotional side of dominance and submission as are others.     On the other hand this type also serves a very good purpose, acting as a safe passage into other variations of D/s, or for learning, especially among those who are doing this for the first time with someone new, or they are trying it for the first time ever. After some experience is gained in D/s activities these people begin to learn the “rules of the road”, so to speak. Sometimes leading to a more intimate and stronger D/s relationship.      

Please-  if you have a notion or limitating belief that practicing compassion as part of the D/s dynamic prevents you from feeling submissive or like a slave.  Pass me by.  It won't work out.  If you're into real abuse- it's a hard limit for me.  This means anything that causes permanent, irreversible damage to a person - psychologically, or physically.  Contracts aren't going to save my ass in court.   I enjoy BDSM and take D/s seriously,  I also have a healthy dose of needing fun,  laughter, and full range of an emotional life.   Don't fret,  you'll know your place.   I won't be emotionally manipulated, charged, or out of control giving lashes.  These are basic rules people that people in the BDSM community have taught me.  Not a random information off the internet or learning from porn videos. Get real!  Lastly - I don't do repeat performances from a person in your past.  Your mind must be open to Me and My ways. 

It must be said as it is, not all str8 males the submit wish or desire the full and total dominance by their Master. Most str8 males feel the abyss that open between them and their percieved sexuality and that casm devours all their idea of their str8 nature as the conceived it. The know they've found their man, a better man, one that surp their own masculinity and the want to serve, comply, and surrender all their being. But, do they? It is very hard for a str8 male to get used to being looked at sexually by another male, especi if that male is stripping their identity piece by piece. Not easy to accept but likes moss to a flame, impossible to ignore. However, curiosity can be damming and once all social structures are removed they are alone with the man they fear and are attracted to. This process is what I call taming. Like a fine horse you must earn the trust and eventually they will on their own volition allo and almost beg to be mounted. Yet, their idea of themselves is from now on in crisis mode; outside assertive and powerful but deep inside they know better and that conflict can any be resolved in the bedroo. In cuckold scenes he is forced" by the female and he submits to what he always wanted but feared to accept. Not that they are pleasing their woman, that is only the official version; but inside, deep they knew it will end that way and it is fine. For a line str8 male, one that chooses the bull that starstrucke them on their own is different; they are lat a loss. How can they feel that lust and attraction is they are Str8, they are not into guys but "this man is different." This man deserves all they can offer and it is an impossible feeling, who to blame, where to hide? That's were I come in, guiding, shapin, and reforming. However, i un as I push the boundaries that sometimes there is a hard line in the sand and that line, for now is a limit the str8 male is not willing to cross. For example, sending or taking them to a barh house or telling them to perform in person the things they've been taking pictures and sending. Once you get to that like if the bull relents his authority is shattered In that case one must let go and release that sub. The will come back and beg to be taken back with conditions, don't. It must always be my wayand my pleasur, that simple. If they cross that line you have tamed a fine specimen, one that will serve you and thank you for it. Always  remember that I don't want to turn them into sissie, that is another process and I will address it soon. 

lover of sparkles of the heart ✨ ✨✨ I am a sub. I feel beautiful when I submit to a Woman and am watched as my  breathing, my sweat and eyes are given to You. The release i feel when She allows me to let Her take over. I want someone who willingly takes “control” in the most vulnerable of situations because it meets both of our needs. I do not want to feel abused that i offer control of me. I value and respect it. True submission requires trust, honesty, communication and patience. Do I want to ALWAYS give up control? No, I don’t. I am interested in an ongoing relationship with ONE person. I am not intimate with people I am not in a committed relationship with. I am however curious about developing a relationship that is Female led. I know that what I want is definitely out of the norm, but I seek someone I can connect on an emotional, psychological and physical level. There is nothing more erotic in my opinion than being with someone who I care about deeply and vice versa. I want to be kinky with my significant other in the bedroom. But I want MORE. I want to watch movies with Her and talk to her about life. I want to cook together, snuggle and have tea in the morning. I want to go on trips and have a relationship. I am a kind hearted person who genuinely cares about people. I often invest myself too quickly in someone, thinking that the feelings are mutual. I am looking for a real LTR, monogamy, love in all its forms. Ultimately I want to get married and have children.

Yes, I have been on this site for a bit. I am looking for the slave that is best to meet My desires. I am looking for long term and live in, when it happens. I do not expect instant match and move. I want any relocation to be permanent and good for both of Us. I hope you have watched the show Big Bang Theory. Living with Me is similar to living with the Sheldon character. At least in the aspect of I get what I want from a slave living with Me. If that isn't you then we will not work well together. I am open to one offs and play dates and such. So feel free to reach out for that also.

Tell me like it is, like a lover,what it is you long to discover.Tell me what is your inspiration,where it is you find heart to listen.Tell me where you go, understanding,when you find a space while philand'ring.Tell me when we go, go like passion,how we go, go like flame so brazen. 'cause I come into this placeeager to recieve your peaceI come with my kindled heartburning to recieve your parton my knees to your altarso proud of this one collar So tell me about the raw darkness;Your teachings and the path of service,about dreams and deep irations,and all about tall fascinations.Tell me how you want to strip me down,hold me down, decrown, and help me drown myself in your grand splendor,where I am in surrenderTo your profound, splendid mind.And in submission I findmyself in absolution,freedom and transformation. ~dirtydarling

Looks like we are hitting another marker with mum... Being a theatre major has served her well and no less better than with a dramatic entry into the ER, several times over recently.  Gotta love her. Still, she is weakened, hollow even and so I shall play it a bit closer to home in the days to come and savor the sweet love of her divine.  See if I can nurse her back to the living... I think it would be so much more rewarding to do this with a subby or two or three or whose counting...lol, pampering this gracious goddess with foot massages and a warm body to ease her sensitive soul.  She is oh so affectionate and without that touch and kindness, that sharing, I know she finds this world lacking.  I'm caring, nurturing even but I'm not very affectionate with her...and touchy feely climb into bed and snuggle.  That is what inside doggies do.  I'm more the outside type of dog, minding the sheep.   If our children are our heart outside of our bodies, then our parents are our bodies, our anchor.  Who and what will I be without them...hopefully amazing, all ways. I can tell you this about them...they never met a dare they didn't meet.  If you understand dares, then you understand how high an eyebrow can and did go! They were cutting edge hippies...and new what organic meant through and through.  They raised me to conquer. Father the heart, Mother the brain and away we go...    

I'm surprised to see this site still exists. I've enjoyed BDSM lifestyle for numerous years. I'm not some mindless or spinelss door mate. I'm educated, a career professional and will always tempt you to be the best and most erotic Domiant possible. That my submissive purpose and desire. I had a play partner for nearly a years but went to work on a project in Europe for a while and lost a lot of US connections and friends. Earlier this year I crossed path with a Dominant female and it was intoxicating. She used and enjoyed me as her boy slut. All those submissive cravings and desires flooded my mind and body as she had unrestricted and unlimited use of me in very demanding and erotic ways. It made me realize how much I want and have missed this lifestyle. I've been used, shared and enjoyed as an obedient, submissive fuck toy. I love having my limits pushed and being used long and hard. This lifestle is best when the chemistry is free and mentally unrestricted. Trust that the Domme individual has the maturity level to forster an energetic and positive experience. I think a Domimant individual is at their best when not limited and mentally unrestricted to explore freely with a submissive. Trust is paramount.   

I am pathetic.  After everything that happened I swore off this life. I deleted Fet, removed all my social media, removed all my chats EXCEPT FOR CS only because I was afraid in the next few years if I returned to this life it would take Forever to make a new CS account. Which I guess is good as I have 1 avenue I can share these thoughts. In summary, I'm pathetic. I didn't even last 3 weeks before I was deeply depressed.  Which doesn't matter as I don't have a Master anyways.  By the way Master Tim wherever you are now, dead or alive, you owe me. You owe me big time. I was newly married, a house wife, in my 20's and I went online (back then) on Yahoo chat. I had just found a book on Gor the first book in the series and I had questions and I didn't know what to do with these newly discovered feelings. I just wanted to know what this meant. I'm a black female who was married to a black man and I had shown him what I saw and wanted to engage it. My husband said what black woman would ever want that life. I was mortified. Is there something wrong with me? I just wanted to know. Then I found Master Tim. Master Tim you didn't have to show me the lifestyle. For 5 years.  You wanted to meet outside of chat day 1 of talking. I agreed and thought I'd was being smart by saying a public place .. Like the library. You pulled up an older white man with leather on and a motorcycle. You looked like you came from the wrong side of the tracks. I was young (in my 20's but truancy officers still stopped me), newly married, black female who was probably too naive for my own good. I watched you sit on your motorcycle. I knew it was you. You didn't look like you belonged here.. it was thrilling to watch you knowing you were just like in the books. You finally got off your bike and went inside. I wanted to see more, observe more. I went inside. I didn't see you and went deeper looking through the book aisles. You cornered me and said my chat handle. I nodded and you said you knew it was me something about being able to tell a submissive girl.  Side note: I have heard that over the years. A man would look at me and be like your submissive or a slave and I would be like how do you know. This always happened in a vanilla setting where I was not behaving in a submissive way to me but I was always called out.  I digress. You reached slowly to touch my breast and I didn't fight you or anything. I didn't know what to expect but I knew from the book and Yahoo chat this is what is to happen if He/You wanted. I got nervous and you stopped. What if we were spotted and this was my town what if a friend of my husband saw us... See I was naive and stupid. You told me to take you to my home. I nodded and did. JUST met this man and did. I was lucky you didn't hurt me. I brought you into my home and you whistled. I was proud of my house. You then ordered me to kneel and you stripped me. You put me in the correct position for kneeling and you touched my pussy and breasts. I was in heaven. I can't describe the feeling of being under that gaze that makes you forget how ugly and fat you are. That gaze that makes you feel womanly, sexy and that you'll do anything for Him. Master Tim gave me his address and told me to meet you at your house tomorrow if I was serious.  I was serious. I did everything you commanded. I was not perfect. I was tired. Annoying. Hell, you had to order me to fuck my husband (my first Master was so considerate). When you worked late, I went out with the "girls" at your commands so you wouldn't be bored. Tired up in the back of your party bus. The patrons thought it was a great gag. When you parked and they went to the clubs to party you couldn't leave the bus. We had fun. Whatever Master wanted. Needed. Then one day out of the blue you said your were sick/hurt and that you were moving to Georgia. And left. Just like that. I was released and you were gone. Over the phone. A year or so back I had begged you to meet me divorce my husband so I could be your slave full time. You said you couldn't give me the life I was used to. I'm not an idiot. I realized you lived in poverty let's be honest and I was upper middle class but that didn't matter to me. I just wanted this life but permanent. I thought I could say least prove to you that I was what you wanted but you were gone. I didn't even get a say. I was devastated. I was crying on the bed and my husband sat next to me. He said that our first 3 years of marriage/dating was hard but these last 5 years have been pure bliss. Now I'm home crying like I lost a family member. He gently asked if I had been cheating. I told him yes. That it was bdsm and he said he didn't realize how important it was to me. He would try. My husband found out I was cheating our whole marriage and said he'll be what I needed to be happy. I agreed. It lasted a mere thought. The man is just not built like that and I was trained in the strictest version of bdsm. He was doomed to fail.I was depressed sad and this life I can't stand anymore. Everything made sense with Master Tim. This... This life didn't.. I got divorced.  I've had Masters after Tim but ... I'm not worthy. I'm not submissive. I'm a slave. They are different to me. I get excited at options cuz I'm used to not having them and honestly I don't really want the choices. I'm a slave. I do as commanded. That feels right. I don't mind getting to make a recommendation but ... Yeah ...I'm too old now to keep looking for a Master. Youth is not on my side and my pretty looks is aging. It's harder to stay slim naturally and ... I really hate this life. I wish I never found that damn book. I wish I never had good Masters and then bad Masters but regardless Masters. I wish I could be normal and vanilla and that I don't long for the strict confined world I can no longer be a part of.  I wish there was a way for the pain to end.  It's so incredibly painful to be this way, I can't help it, and there is no counterpart. Its worse than being lonely. I'm a slave with no Master. I can't breathe, I can't think, I try desperately to never engage to not think of this life.  it wasn't supposed to be this way and like I said lated 3 weeks. I'm pathetic. 

“The Lesson in the Red Chair – Part II: Temperature Chains” T.L. Duncan He knelt perfectly still in front of the red chair, hands behind his back, shoulders trembling just enough for me to know he was alive inside the anticipation. Good. He should tremble. Temperature chains demand obedience. I stepped behind him and let the room settle into silence. A long silence. Long enough that he started to doubt what he’d feel first. Then I touched the back of his neck with warm oil. He inhaled sharply. The oil wasn’t hot—just body-warm. Comforting. Seductive. A touch that coaxed him into trust before breaking it. “My warmth first,” I murmured. I smoothed the oil over the top of his shoulders, slow strokes that lulled him into lowering his guard. His breath lengthened. His muscles softened. His head tilted forward in surrender. Good. Perfect, actually. Now I changed the temperature. The ice cube was newly unwrapped, frosty and dripping between my fingers. He didn’t hear it. He didn’t expect it. And that made it exquisite. I pressed it to the same spot I had just warmed. He jerked like a current ran through him—but he stayed kneeling. “Good boy,” I said quietly. The praise landed deep. I traced the ice down the line of his spine, a slow, cruel descent. He shuddered uncontrollably, head dropping forward, breath catching on every inch. Then I wiped the trail dry with a heated cloth—soft, warm, soothing. His whole body swayed, caught between two opposites with no ability to prepare for either. “That’s the point of temperature chains,” I whispered. “Your body stops guessing. It just reacts.” He exhaled a broken sound—half moan, half plea. I circled him, letting the warm cloth ghost over his chest, then replaced it with the ice again, pressing it to the hollow of his throat. He gasped and froze. “Don’t move,” I warned. He didn’t. He barely breathed. I let the ice melt in a slow path over his skin, then chased the trail with my warm palm. Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. His head fell back against my thigh. “You’re unraveling beautifully,” I said, cupping the side of his face gently—warm palm, cold fingertips. He whimpered at the contrast. Now that he was soft and undone, the next sequence would hit harder. I dipped my fingers in the warm oil again, then traced a circle over his sternum. He relaxed. And just as the comfort settled— I lifted the chilled metal spoon. He didn’t see it. He didn’t hear it. He only felt the shock when it touched the same oiled spot. He choked on a moan. His hands flexed behind his back. His body bowed toward me. “Hold your position,” I commanded, voice velvet and steel at once. He froze, trembling uncontrollably now, his body shaking with a desperate cocktail of cold, warmth, need, and obedience. I moved the spoon lower, then chased it immediately with warmed fingertips. His breath stuttered. His knees nearly buckled. “Your body can’t predict me anymore,” I said softly into his ear. “That’s what surrender feels like.” He nodded, barely able to speak. “Good,” I whispered. “Because your final temperature test will break what’s left of your control.” I stepped away to prepare it—just out of his line of sight, just enough for the dread and desire to twist together. “Be still,” I said. “Lesson three begins now.” He was still kneeling, barely holding himself together. The temperature chains had wrecked his sense of predictability, and I could feel it in the shivers running through him. Now it was time to take the one thing he had left— his mind. I stepped behind him, deliberately quiet, until my thighs brushed the edge of his shoulders. He stiffened, waiting for the next sensation. But I gave him nothing. No touch. Just silence. Then I leaned down until my lips hovered a hair’s breadth from his ear. “Don’t look for my hands,” I whispered. “My voice is what owns you right now.” His breath hitched. Good. I let my breath warm the shell of his ear, slow and soft—not touching, just threatening the touch. He froze in place like prey that knows the predator is right behind it. “You feel that?” I murmured. “Yes… Ma’am…” “That’s not me touching you,” I said. “That’s me deciding you deserve to feel my breath.” He shuddered so hard his balance wavered. I slid one hand behind his neck—not gripping, just resting there, letting him know I could take hold at any moment—but my mouth stayed at his ear. “Your body reacts before you can think,” I whispered. “And that turns me on more than anything else.” He exhaled sharply, a small, helpless sound. I didn’t touch him yet. Instead, I let my lips barely graze the upper curve of his ear—so faint that he might have imagined it. A ghost of contact. A promise. He whimpered. Then I broke the almost-touch with a cold whisper: “Keep your hands behind your back.” “I— I am, Ma’am…” “Good. Because if you lift one finger to steady yourself, this ends.” His spine straightened in panic and obedience at the same time. Now he was mine. I brought my mouth closer, slow and controlled, until the tip of my nose brushed the soft edge of his jaw. “Do you know what I want right now?” I whispered. “No, Ma’am…”

 LadyDiRainicorn