Vetting: Before You Place Your Trust in Someone
Vetting is often discussed as though it is something submissives do before agreeing to meet or play with a Dominant. That is only half of the conversation.
Dominants should vet prospective submissives. Submissives should vet prospective Dominants. Switches should vet anyone they may enter a dynamic or scene with. Even experienced people should vet new partners rather than assuming years in the lifestyle automatically make someone trustworthy.
Vetting is not an interrogation, a background investigation, or a guarantee that nothing will go wrong. It is the process of gathering enough information to make an informed decision about whether someone appears compatible, honest, responsible, and reasonably safe.
No single question, reference, profile, or conversation can prove that a person is trustworthy. Good vetting looks at patterns.
Begin Before the First Message
Vetting can begin before direct conversation.
Read the person’s entire profile rather than focusing only on photographs, roles, or a list of interests. Look at what they say about consent, communication, limits, relationships, and responsibility.
Pay attention to how they interact with other people. Someone may be charming when pursuing a potential partner while being rude, dismissive, or aggressive toward everyone else.
Full Post: https://www.tlduncan.com/post/vetting