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Male Dominant, 28, newcastle
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Male Dominant, 59, Woodstock, Georgia
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Male Dominant, 38
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About Phalanx86
I genuinely dislike writing profiles. Either you write a book that people don't really read and is liable to give off all kinds of misinterpretations or your trying to hook people with some clever pithy thing.
I've been fascinated by power exchange and bdsm for many years. Everything about the topic is interesting to me and my own personal philosophy continues to develop over time.
Genuine passionate consensual submission is what I most look for.
I would much rather have a conversation and see if we have compatibility than to play the profile game. |
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I've pondered the question of control for years. Early on I had the notion in my head that the more controlling you were the more dominant you were. Like a badge of achievement that you got to claim, a contest you won if you were the most controlling. I still see that basic frame of thought all over the place. I also see the thinking that the more intense the dynamic the more controlling/micro managey it is.
I've tried various levels and forms of control with women over the years and whenever I've strived for micromanagement it's been entirely unsatisfying. I've also found that the men who seem most interested in micromanagement are trying to fill some sort of hole within themselves. I remember one woman I met who wanted complete micromanagement and frankly it was the emptiest and most robotic experience of my life.
Hence the internal struggle in trying to understand the controlling impulses I have, the need for power and ownership, while also not really having the patience or desire to stand over someone's shoulder minute by minute.
I finally found some phrasing that I think helps to express what I actually think and desire.
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The umbrella that kink, bdsm, dom/sub etc have come to represent is rather large at this point. I would say the majority of people on here are kinky/slutty and only vaguely interested in dynamics in which power is exchanged except perhaps as it makes things spicy or facilitates a kink.
Now of course there is so much potential overlap that it can become a rather ry and most likely an unnecessary distinction. I look around it's endless dick pictures, or tit/pussy pictures, it's people throwing dirty sexual thoughts out there, but in a throwaway type, that are put out there for no other reason than they get that quick empty thrill and the vague hope that your next no effort meaningless sexual encounter will find you. I see endless personal ads looking for a "Master to own and train" or one of the 100 variations on that basic thought. No you really aren't, you most likely have not thought through what that really means and if you had you would be starting off much slower. What your really looking for is some hot roleplay, a quick jump into a pretend scene that does absolutely nothing to challenge your identity or ego. Maybe you think you really want that master or slave but chances are you are only thinking about it from that hot sex pov with that fantasy master/slave you have in your head that doesn't exist.
There is nothing wrong with all this though. I begrudge no one the pursuit of what they consider a good time and I definitely do not judge needing an escape from the drudgery most of our lives represent. We only live once.
That said though much of it doesn't really speak to me. I'm not sure I would consider myself kinky even though the array of things I want to do and that fascinate me i |
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Every so often I come across an image, video, a passage that strikes me a certain way or fascinates me. Often times it conceptualizes a broad concept I've had in my head. I found one recently that has stuck with me.
"Consensual romantic inequality" or as I prefer it "Consensual intimate inequality"
Dominance based upon the myth of your own superiority is simply uncritical, a zero sum game that you can never actually win. This is separate of course from the synergistic idea that if you wish to dominate you should strive to become the best version of yourself even if it takes you a lifetime. My dominance is about having a vision and a will to pursue it, it is based upon a hunger inside me, and simply what is the reality in which everything in me aligns. I do not convince, pursue, coerce, or force.
Likewise I do not subscribe to the concept of submission as a form of weakness or incapability. You are not inferior simply because submission calls to you. It takes a considerable amount of personal fortitude to engage in authentic submission, of course I'm not including submission that isn't submission. Many times submissives can be incredibly put together and competent of course once you move past their defenses you realize how empty and lost they actually are inside. Not because of incapability but because they are not living the reality in which everything aligns.
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I want to break you, but I highly doubt I mean that in the way you've heard it used so many times before.
Where it is most commonly used is by those who wants the perks of being a dominant/master/daddy whatever without any of the challenges or effort that requires. I've heard the same retellings of the same kinds of stories by submissive women over the years. The dominants who tell women they aren't true submissives because they dared ask a question? Those who's ego are so incredibly fragile they throw a fit at even the suggestion of someone "challenging" them. Those who demand superficial respect instead of cultivating it. Those who are so insecure in their control that they need to exercise it endlessly. Those who want to destroy out of insecurity and hate.
Yes I want to break you. I want to break you free from the noise that holds you back. I want to break the mental walls that separate you from the pure submissive being you crave to be. I want to break you of the need to be something that doesn't bring you fulfillment. I want to break you of the aimless lack of purpose. I want to break you free from the confinement that freedom actually is. I want to break you of everything holding you back from being the content, fulfilled, devoted, soft, purpose filled, sub/slave that you know you are and just can't reach.
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Have you ever thought about the inherently flawed nature of language? What is the purpose of language?
At the most basic level language is the attempt to take what is in my mind and communicate it to your mind. Much like the phone game this process is always going to be extremely imprecise. Words are concepts. I'm going to take a string of concepts as I understand them add modifiers and conditionals and then you are going to interpret those based upon your understanding of those concepts and modifiers.
Take even the simplest of words. If I say a "tree", basically everyone understands essentially what I mean but not exactly. There are many different kinds of trees, they look very different from each other, they have different characteristics and quirks, different kinds grow in different areas of the world. I'm am in a more rural environment than say NYC is. Something tells me my relationship to the word "tree" is going to be much different from someone who grew up in an urban area. My mind makes different connections and ties different emotions, I'll picture something slightly different than every single person who hears me use the word.
That's just for a relatively objective word like tree. What happens when we start getting into more esoteric concepts. Submission, wow talk about a word that can have so many meanings, so many different emotions and thoughts around it. The internet has been great in so many ways but it has also created a sort of collective consciousness, many words have been loaded up with toxic baggage. I like to talk about breaking a sub, but I don't mean it in the way you keep hearing it, the way the last 20 toxic people have used it.
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I have long been fascinated by the basic concept of "How". How do I develop actual power over a sub. How do I instill a true mindset of submission or devotion. How do I get and keep control/power over a whole person. How do I actually mold someone, train them. How do I create an environment where I can unleash myself.
How do I get the results that I desire.
One thing I've learned is that people develop a core let's say picture of themselves. They develop this idea of who they are in their head, how does she talk, walk, dress, think, her desires, priorities, perceptions, etc etc. Once we have this image in our head this definition of who we are, our minds will do mental backflips to rationalize anything that might challenge this. There is an incredible inertia against any form of challenge or change. Even if you want to change, even if you want to be someone else, it's climbing a mountain.
I have met all too many submissive women who on the face of things are willing to do an endless litany of gross, dirty, rough things. Their minds then go through this incredible process of rationalization and narrative building to square that in a way that doesn't challenge their inner self. They will then balk at something incredibly simple that invades their non submissive compartmentalization.
One of the core pillars in my philosophy of dominance is to challenge her conception of herself. If I can subjugate your idea of who you are, I can move the real you in so many possible directions. Real power and dominance is not about how hard I can hit you or making you do the grossest things I can think of, it is about owning the idea of you. Once that is done the possibilities are endless. |
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We understandably often focus on the flashier, more explosive, more dramatic, expressions of power exchange and bdsm. I would imagine many people when they were exposed to an alternate concept explored online. Obviously porn and much of what you'll find is going to showcase the most visually appealing elements, the most outrageous. We might get this idea in our head of something we desire and then we might spend years trying to find someone who matches us to even start to engage in it. We get impatient, we want to get to the "good stuff".
Slow everything down. Power, control, dominance, submission, these things are a mental/emotional experience, an alternate reality. The physical is simply how we express, create, maintain, and enjoy something that exists in our minds. My power over a woman is entirely based around her perception and belief that I have power over her.
There is a kind of serene intensity to the most simple but pure expressions of power between us. I thrive and love when I am in complete control of the pace of the experience. I want to be slow and deliberate. I like to take time to let things stew, to examine, to explore, to analyze. Punctuating that with moments of faster pace intensity creates a stark contrast and a rollercoaster that tears down her walls.
Don't underestimate the power of and presence that mental bondage and time can have. Having to take a position and just hold it. You can't pretend you are doing anything other than completely surrendering to me. Waiting is like water slowly eroding the cliff, eventually the water always wins.
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