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This place is being inundated with fake profiles again.. it is like they just cut and paste their profiles and kiss use different porn star pics.. so disappointing! |
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Atlantic
Sleep Token
Call me when they bury bodies underwater It's blue light over murder for me Crumble like a temple built from future daughters To wasteland when the oceans recede
Marry in the morning, earn your bitter father It's easier to try not to eat So flood me like Atlantic, bandage up the trenches Anything to get me to sleep
I woke up surrounded, eyes like frozen planets Just orbiting the vacuum I am They talk me through the damage, consequence And how it's a pain they know they don't understand
Sobbing as they turn to statues at the bedside I'm trying not to crush into sand So flood me like Atlantic, weather me to nothing Wash away the blood on my hands
Call me when they bury bodies underwater It's blue light over murder for me Crumble like a temple built from future daughters To wasteland when the oceans recede
Don't wake me Don't wake me Don't wake me up Don't you wake (don't wake me) me up Don't wake me Oh (don't wake me up)
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I'm a Marionette
By Abba performed by Ghost
You're so free," that's what everybody's telling me Yet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugee Something's wrong, got a feeling that I don't belong As if I had come from outer space, out of place, like King Kong
I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown
Like a doll, like a puppet with no will at all And somebody told me how to talk, how to walk, how to fall
Can't complain, I've got no-one but myself to blame Something's happening I can't control, lost my hold, it's insane
I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown
"Look this way, just a little smile," is what they say "You look better on the photograph if you laugh, that's okay" "You're so free," that's what everybody's telling me Yet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugee
I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown
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Dreams
Everything is about our dreams
When we dreamers stop dreaming
The rest of you have no dreams left
Vi är för Altid
by
Kent
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You have never stood this close, to where you want to be You have always waded in the shallows Between me and the deep blue sea
You'd never want me to appear You'd never want it to be over You never wanted to reach out to the edge of time
Witch Image
Ghost |
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Had another neurologist appointment. Impairment is gone, I am fully back to normal, or as normal as I can be |
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Dammit. I corrected a spelling error in my profile and now I am waiting for it to be approved |
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Today I had a revisit to my neurologist. I had an issue in November that caused he to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. I had an issue called drop in my left foot and it caused me to fall because I had trouble lifting my foot. Today I had a test where the stuck pins in my leg and ran pulses through them to see if I was getting stimulation to the nerves in my foot and legs. It feels really weird when you don't have control of 1/4 of your body. The first test was done with stickies like for an EKG, then the second one was done with the needles.
The good news is that there is a marked improvement, if not I would have been referred to a surgeon. the bad news is the spot he stuck the pin in my back, he stuck it in tested, and pushed in further to test again, hurts still. It's crazy.
Wednesday is a treadmill stress test, oh yay me, |
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Hmm let's see it is now 2022, so a lot have time has passed between my last real post. So many things have gone on in my life since then. In 2019 I took part in the World Transplant Games in the UK. That was a hell of a trip. Spent a few days in London, then went north to Yorkshire, to the land of James Herriot, Castle Howard, and my friends farm. I spent 5 days helping take care of their herd of pigs. Can't wait to go back. I return to London for my last 9 days and ate great food, saw amazing things, and got to see New Japan Pro Wrestling do their first show in England. Got home just before second year started.
my next games are next year in Perth Australia. I will be cycling I will have a 5k time trial, a 20km team time trial, and another 30k time trial. Boy my legs are going to hate me. I had a pair of custom painted shoes done just for the games. I am hoping to be able to get a racing suit and a helmet wrapped in the same pattern.
i am hoping to spend a bit of time in Tokyo on my way to Australia. Maybe spend 5 days. |
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this is a follow up to the 4/3/2018 post
People have said I am negative, yet I come here and I see all the negative profiles and wonder to myself, how on earth will these people find happiness, with this kind of attitude? I have gotten the oh I will be your slave if you pay my way to you... after a 5 minute conversation. I have heard about so many Dom's passing away, I feel like the term Dominant is cursed! I want to find someone who has a sense of humour, who doesn't mind taking their time getting to know each other and seeing what can happen. What would you rather have a store bought frozen and thaw cake, although good, it would never match a cake that was made just for you, because the one made for you has one special ingredient has that the other doesn't, and I do not mean mono sodium glutamate. I mean love Cheers And always remember to watch out for motorcycles when you are on the road
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Tired of seeing profiles that all they say is belong to Master So and So... ok what's your point |
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This week has been a humdinger... with some ups, but mostly downs. I got a job at a private golf club as jr Sous chef, got accepted for school at St Clair in September and everything was great.
On Wednesday a friend of mine was killed in an accident, but for some reason I didn't find out until Thursday.
The Golf course had be booked in on an orientation, something they do monthly. And I had a low blood sugar incident, which makes it not a smart idea to drive. I called telling them what was going on well in advance and they said try to get there. I felt lousy the rest of the day and later got a call to make sure that I would be at work for my first day.
Friday I went to work, more than a bit upset, because of my friends passing, and while I was working I was experiencing excruciating pains in my back, possibly from being sedentary for the last few years, so I talked to my Sous chef, and they sent me home.
Later that night I got a phone call from the chef saying they needed someone a bit more reliable and let me go.
Now I am unsure what to do. My passion for kitchens has all but evaporated, and with the shape my back is in I am not sure if I can stand to do any kind of job.... I don't even know how to start getting it back into shape.....
I really feel like giving up |
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Happy news for once... was accepted into the Business Administration - Human Rescources program at the local college... it is an Ontario College Advanced Diploma program |
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Here is a new one psycho ex is pissed off at me because i don't dream about her when I sleep..... |
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Ok here's one for you... a girl as in her profile that says she is moving to Florida this week, so I thought I would be polite and wish her safe travels...
She comes back with, what do you mean by that?
Who left the doors to the asylum unlocked |
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New hard limit... video chat I am not getting the app just message me |
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Funny how you go from being perfectly fine to being blocked and ghosted the next |
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Does anyone just wanna talk anymore? |
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People irritate me.... an ex asked me if I worried about her if she was out driving in bad weather..
I said why would I?
Gotta understand I dated this woman in the 80's |
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"(s)AINT"
I don't care if your world is ending today
Because I wasn't invited to it anyway
You said I tasted famous, so I drew you a heart
But now I'm not an artist I'm a fucking work of art
I've got an F and a C and I got a K too
And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like you
You wanted perfect
You got your perfect
But now I'm too perfect for someone like you
I was a dandy in your ghetto with
A snow white smile and you'll
Never be as perfect whatever you do
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
I am a bonetop, a death's head
On a mopstick
You infected me, took diamonds
I took all your shit
Your "sell-by-date" expired,
So you had to be sold
I'm a suffer-genius and
Vivi-sex symbol
You wanted perfect
You got your perfect
But now I'm too perfect for someone like you
I was a dandy in your ghetto with
A snow white smile and you'll
Never be as perfect whatever you do
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
I've got an "F" and a "C" and I got a "K" too
And the only thing that's missing is "U"
I've got an F and a C and I got a K too
And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like you
I've got an F and a C and I got a K too
And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like you
I am a dandy in the ghetto with a snow white smile
Super-ego bitch, I've been evil awhile
I am a dandy in the ghetto with a snow white smile
Super-ego bitch, I've been evil awhile
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
What's my name, what's my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT
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This is aimed at a couple of specific people whose names I will not mention. I looked at your profile.. big deal.... you looked at mine, and I went to than you for looking and found I was blocked.... profile said no men, but you blocked me just for looking.... it's ok i blocked you for being an asshole |
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I wonder.... I see married women on here who say they are married to vanilla men and they are looking for sadists. Aren't the marks going to be the first sign she is cheating in some way?
This is why we need warning labels on tide pods |
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"The Devil"
Blue Stahli
Forcing of the hand, a whisper in the ear
Spirit of enabling
Sinister command of what I want to hear
I'm the only one who pulls my strings
I'm the devil living in the pride
I'm the devil, no one's hands are tied
I'm the devil, damnation dignified
I'm the devil and it's only me inside
Why would you pretend your will is not your own
Claiming something pushed you there?
Don't mean to condescend but it's you and you alone
You're the architect of your despair
And I'm the devil living in the pride
I'm the devil, no one's hands are tied
I'm the devil, damnation dignified
I'm the devil and it's only me inside
I'm the devil living in the pride
I'm the devil, no one's hands are tied
I'm the devil, damnation dignified
I'm the devil and it's only me inside
I'm the devil, damnation dignified
I'm the devil and it's only me inside
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Shitty end to a shitty year... next year will be so much better... |
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Are people that full of themselves they block another person for looking at their profile? |
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Suffocate
Cold
I could take every fucking word she says
Throw it in her face
But would she even care
I still remember when she looked at me
That frown upon her face
Trying to be sincere
I gathered all those little things she said
Kept them close to me
Trying to make this real
This cloud will alway hover over me
I'm leaving you today
'Cause now I see
Suffocate, you suffocate
That you lie (I don't lie)
That your fake (I'm not a freak)
Suffocate, you suffocate
You always take (I don't take)
What you can (what I can)
I could take every fucking game you play
Blow it all away
But would you even care
I could take all those lies you said to me
Never go away
Never disappear
This cloud will always hover over me
I'm leaving you today
'Cause now I see
Suffocate, you? |
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Why do people have more than one profile, and have them both running at the same time? |
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Down In Flames"
Shame
Wear the pity and the blame
Basking in the glow
A lovely crown of thorns
Cliche
Overdramatic display
An unwelcome show
Of steady undertow
You'll make 'em watch while you go down in flames
Self-inflicted pretty little martyr
If forcing empathy
Is as clever as you can be
We'll gladly watch while you go down in flames
Burn baby burn
Vain
You're the Abel and the Cain
No coincidence
you crave an audience
Stray
Committed to the decay
Fake mercy pose
And on and on it goes
You'll make 'em watch while you go down in flames
Self-inflicted pretty little martyr
If forcing empathy
Is as clever as you can be
We'll gladly watch while you go down in flames
Burn baby burn
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Why is it, so many people here want you to go check them out of FL? Are they afraid of being seen slumming here? |
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Definition of irony... my wellness appointment at the gym had to be cancelled this morning because my wellness coach was sick |
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Dealt with some real fucking winners tonight |
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People have told me before that this is a place where shouldn't put negative thoughts, because it would scare people off. As this is my journal spot, I don't give a crap what people think, so I am just going to write what I feel, and if folks don't like it, well they don't have to read it do they.
As anyone who has delved into my journal knows, I had a kidney transplant a couple years ago, and I had a few ccomplications. What many don't know is I have spiraled down with depression and motivation ever since. I used to walk for miles for fun... now I have trouble even being motivated to walk downstairs to my living room, amd I hate the way this makes me feel. I am starting to feel like a worthless human being.
Some here will say that this is not a Dom attitude to have. I say do you have to not be human and have feelings if you are a Dominant? I am struggling hard. I have no motivation to do anything. I make plans to try to make my life better, but don't follow through. I just don't know what to do..... |
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Well it looks like I am going to be a college student again next year |
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applied today to go back to school.... might be interesting, i have to get a few ducks in a row first |
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Someone called me a pig today and told me to fuck off because I said good luck to them.... and this person wonders why they are alone |
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Got blocked by a scammer today... they said they were no limits except for blood and scat. I said well then those are hard limits.. they said yes... I said ok then you have limits... I said what about broken bones, kids and animals.,, they said no those are off limits... there you go you have hard limits, so you are not a no limits slave. They said I didn't understand, told me to go,to hell and blocked me Make that two |
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I find it funny that you send a message asking where someone lives to see if they are close, and instead of saying no thanks or not interested they just block you. When someone looks at my profile, I politely send a message thanking them for looking.
I sent this person a message, they looked at my profile, I went to send a message saying hey thanks for looking and they had already blocked me...
People make no sense to me at all |
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Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get out of bed in the morning |
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Back to the land of the employed |
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Do you ever want smack someone the the head and ask them if they are fucking stupid? |
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I never knew
She's gone
She's flown away
Everyone said
She's not
Your kinda girl
I'm so alone
This girl is
Flown fear
Everyone said
She fucked up this time
It's my brand new world today
And it's my brand new world this way
I'll never change
It's wrong
So go away
Everyone said
She's not
Your kinda girl
I've tasted love
It burns
I'm so afraid
Everyone said
She fucked up this time
It's my brand new world today
And it's my brand new world this way
It's my brand new world today
And it's my brand new world this way
I think this fuckin witch knows
The way
And everything I feel
I think this fuckin witch knows
The way
And everything I feel
I think this fuckin witch knows
The way
And everything I feel
I think this fuckin witch knows
The way
And everything I feel
She knows
She knows
She knows
She fucked up this time
It's my brand new world today
And it's my brand new world this way
It's all mine
It's all mine
It's all mine
This new world today
Witch from 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage
By
Cold |
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I have finally hit the point where I am done.... I will talk to friends but I am not looking anymore |
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In 24 hours I twisted my knee playing volleyball, and fell down the stairs messing up my other knee.. oh yay! |
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Spiralling down, emotional unsound girl
Building an empire to live in hope
All the days and sleepless nights, endless painful nights
All the wood from the trees sinking me to my knees
Pleasures abound caused suffering around
WHERE IS MY FAITH ? IT'S GONE UNDERGROUND
IT'S A LITTLE DISAPPEARED, A LITTLE DISAPPEARED
Burning ambition cooled when I read
Letters of heartache, columns of agony
I HAVE TO SAY YOU'RE WRONG, I ENDURED SUCH A LIFE SO LONG
A LITTLE DISAPPEARED, A LITTLE DISAPPEARED
A little disappeared, a little disappeared
For every life, there's a growing need, for if you cut me I shall bleed
Serious papers but I don't look down, wearing the tears of a clown
WHERE IS MY FAITH ? IT'S GONE UNDERGROUND
IT'S A LITTLE DISAPPEARED, A LITTLE DISAPPEARED
A Little Disappeared
inspiral Carpets |
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Riddle me this Batman... why is it so hard for people to simply communicate? |
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Getting tired of the idiots |
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I am noticing so many want to serve sexually AND domestically... I need one who will serve just domestically, because I really need someone to wash my damned car |
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I hate when I can't sleep.... |
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Not sure hot to take my mind right now... I am flipping between this site, and a cook book by Alain Passard of the fine art of cooking vegetables |
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Taking a break for a few days... if you know how to find me, get in touch |
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Ugh I am in hell... went from high performance gaming computer to a $200 Lenovo because it was cheaper to buy this one than repair the Alienware at the mo.. wish I had my 24 gigs of ram back |
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Have you ever run into an ex after many many years, and realize they are as dumb as a post? |
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People here take this place waaaaay too seriously |
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Don't care who you are, I am not paying to relocate you... Get a damned job |
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I tap... I am tired of the idiocy here |
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It's funny... you message someone and want to get to know them and their profile is a complete lie.... says they are single, but they are living with a boyfriend... |
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ok now I have seen everything... a profile with a mug shot for an image |
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Don't you love the scammers when they get all indignant when you cal, them out on their bullshit, like it is your fault |
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To all of our kinky family down in Florida.. be safe |
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I love the violence inside your mind
Scrape by Blue Stahli |
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It is funny how people are so shallow.... Send them a pic and they block you.... |
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I hate people with no sense of haha |
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Tornado touched down four times in town today... |
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Today is my first rebirth day |
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People just piss me the fuck off |
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Whoever just favorited me send me a message |
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Blood and Roses
By Smithereens
It was long ago
Seems like yesterday
Saw you standin' in the rain
Then I heard you say
"I want to love but it comes out wrong
I want to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see
Blood and roses"
Love flowers in the springtime
October we were wed
In wintertime the roses died
The blood ran cold and then she said
"I want to love but it comes out wrong
I want to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see
Blood and roses"
It was long ago
Seems like yesterday
Saw you standin' in the rain
Then I heard you say
"I need your love but it comes out wrong
I try to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see
Blood and roses, blood and roses
Blood and roses, blood and roses"
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I put lyrics to songs in my journal because they reflect how I feel at any given time. If you look back, most of the lyrics are kind of sad, because when I posted them I was not in the greatest of moods, but even though the words may sound down a lot of the music it self is upbeat.. Have a nice day
The Devil
Jason Charles Miller
We found him by the roadside
Nothing to him but his name
He struggled to his feet
Withered from the heat
Cussin? at the street
?I don?t want your help, I just want to know where I am.?
Then he slowly looked around
Recognized the town
Then he laid back down
If you think I?m the devil it?s only because I live in hell
If you?re looking for trouble you found it because I live in hell
When she walked into the courthouse
The blood on her blouse was still wet
They took one look at her face
Certain of the case
A horrible disgrace
?I don?t want your mercy, I want you to know why I?m here.?
Then she told them of the pain
The horrible refrain
Of a life in chains
If you think I?m the devil it?s only because I live in hell
If you?re looking for trouble you found it because I live in hell
Now I?m standing right in front of you
And the only thing I can pursue
Is to show you that I?m not what you think I am
So if you think I?m the devil it?s only because I live in hell
If you?re looking for trouble you found it because I live in hell
I live in hell
I live in hell
I live in hell
>
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this is for someone very special
"Cure My Tragedy (A Letter To God)"
Remember all the times that we used to play?
You were lost and I would save you
I don't think those feelings will ever fade
You were born a part of me
I was never good at hiding anything
My thoughts break me
Do you understand what you mean to me?
You are my faith
[Chorus]
Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]
Don't take her smile away from me
She's broken and I'm far away
Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]
if you make the world a stage for me
then I hope that you can hear me scream
Won't you cure my tragedy?
When I sit and think of the days we shared
and the nights you covered for me
Every little thing that I ever did
You would stand by me
Everytime you cried it would take my wind
My heart would break
If I could be strong like you were for me
You are my faith
[Chorus]
Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]
Don't take her smile away from me
She's broken and I'm far away
Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]
if you make the world a stage for me
then I hope that you can hear me scream
Won't you cure my tragedy?
Can you hear me scream? [x2]
[Chorus]
Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]
Don't take her smile away from me
She's broken and I'm far away
Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]
if you make the world a stage for me
then I hope that you can hear me scream
Won't you cure my tragedy?
I can't take this anymore
I can't feel this anymore
Won't you take and give her pain to me
'Cause my whole life I've made mistakes
Can you hear me scream? [x2]
By Cold from the CD? Year of the Spider
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Why is it around here, that someone says something you don't like, no one has the common decency to say, oh sorry you're not for me... When people look at my profile 9 times out of 10 I send a note saying thank you for looking. I hate the way the world is becoming so impersonal and downright rude. You would do something like that to someone's face, why would you do it here
Here endith the rant |
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Today is not a good day..... "Happens All The Time"
I still hang on every word in the world of faded memories where you're still in love with me I can see it in your eyes A look as if your Major Tom has lost control [Chorus:] I must hold on This happens all the time I still find my faith in you I can't hold on this happens all the time I still find my way to you If a dreams all that I've got then I wish you're in a fairy tale where you're still in love with me I could see it in your eyes the look as if your hero fell and lost his soul [Chorus] To you... To you... To you... [Chorus]
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Some people think I shouldn't put stuff about my illness in my journal. It's my journal and I will do what I want with it.
Anyway today marks the 3rd anniversary of the worst day of my life. 3 years today I found out I was in stage 4 kidney failure... From finding out, to having your transplant in under 3 years I would say is pretty darned good |
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I have been feel ill for the last 2 weeks. Tomorrow (Thursday) I have clinic And I have a feeling they are going to keep me. So no one head from me for a week that is why |
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What do you do, when everything that comes out of your mind and fingers is wrong? Especially when it hurts a friend you really care about.
Any thoughts? |
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When does one cross the line here and say enough of the rejection and move on? I like to think I am a genuinely nice person, but I talk to someone for awhile and then no more conversation. Maybe it is me and I am as asshat and don't know it or is everyone here looking for that elusive unicorn and won't settle for anything else?
I know I am not perfect, and am currently on disability due to a kidney transplant, but it doesn't mean I am like that for ever and am ready to get back in the game only it has been 3 years it takes me a bit of time to get going |
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Ever just want to run away... |
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Why are people are so in a hurry to get owned here? What ever happened to getting to know someone on a personal and intellectual level before even thinking about D/s? It seems to me collars these days are not locked on they are attached with Velcro.
Just my thought |
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ever have a feeling of sadness that just wont go away? |
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Happy news today... The BK polyoma virus that was threatening to destroy my kidney has been defeated. My creatinine level is dropping, but they are not sure how much damage was done to the kidney by the virus... Now we wait and see |
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I am just so tired of this... |
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Rest in Peace Ziggy Stardust |
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So need to start cutting dead wood from my life |
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Ugh the skype spammers are out in force today.. Think I have blocked 6 |
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Seems like the virus is starting to be beaten back |
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Tomorrow, Saturday December 5th I am taking a social media and electronics day off... I am going to read a book! Message me when I get back |
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well I didn't get admitted like I thought I would... so maybe things are looking up |
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I may be out of contact for a week or more.. I may be admitted to the hospital tomorrow.
Leave kinds thoughts and messages please |
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Today is the 3 month anniversary ( I hate that word if under a year) of my kidney transplant. I want to thank my donor family, whoever they are, for the generous gift of a new life.
I am eternally grateful |
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On the hunt for poblano peppers, for a braised pepper and short rib stew |
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one of my favourite songs
Unrequited
Torn and folded pages I can't understand Life slowly rearranges It's never in the plan If you had this to give me Why did it have to die? I'll never comprehend it I'll just keep asking why Unrequited Your sickened thoughts of love are unrequited There's nothing left in my heart that can love And my body's just a vessel with a broken soul And floating all around me are my memories Of a time when I could comprehend a simple touch But now it's gone away Unrequited Your sickened thoughts of love are unrequited There's nothing left in my heart that can love And if you try to manipulate me again you'll see that I am just a shell that once could feel But now is empty thanks to you Unrequited Your sickened thoughts of love are unrequited There's nothing left in my heart that can love And if you try to manipulate me again you'll see that I am just a shell that once could feel But now is empty thanks to you
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As a lot of you know, I have been around here an awfully long time, and I recently had a kidney transplant. As of late things have not gone all that well in Baldrickland. I was admitted with an abcess in my peritoneal dialysis catheter, which resulted in an 8 day stay in the hospital.
With the transplant I am required to to to clinic weekly for blood work, and all that good stuff. I have had 2 blood draws in the last 8 days, and one of my levels has jumped 50 points. That could be due to the infection, or it could also mean that e kidney is possibly rejecting.
I am scared as hell right now, and I hope people will keep me in their thoughts and prayers. At the earliest I will be home Thursday, if not it will be Sunday or Monday
Wish me luck
If folks don't hear from me for a few days it means I am in hospital and I can't access this site from the hospital |
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"The Lucky One"
Payback is overdue So much for my I. O. U. My head is stuck underneath God's thumb I guess that makes me the lucky one Stupidity is a constant trend Murphy and I have become best friends Hooray for dreams gone before they've come Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one [Chorus:] I am, I am, I am The lucky one I am, I am, I am Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one I am, I am, I am The lucky one I am a comedian The joke's on me, I'm the lucky one A sinking ship, holes in my lifeboat I'm sorry for choking but I?ve got a wishbone stuck in my throat I never thought this could be such fun Hooray for me I'm the lucky one [Chorus:] I am, I am, I am The lucky one I am, I am, I am Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one I am, I am, I am The lucky one I am a comedian The joke's on me, I'm the lucky one [Bridge:] I tried to push straight through the suck Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck Lucky for me I don't believe in luck I tried to push straight through the suck Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck Lucky for me I don't believe in luck I tried to push straight through the suck Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck Lucky for me I don't believe in luck Lucky for me I don't believe in luck I tried to push straight through the suck Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck Lucky for me I don't believe in luck I don't believe in luck I don't believe in luck I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck Thank God I don't believe in luck Thank God I don't believe in luck Thank God I don't believe in luck Thank God I don't believe in luck Rusted linings on my black clouds It's raining piss, will somebody tell me what's that all about? Wish on a blackstar until it comes It's here for me, I'm the lucky one I am, I am, I am The lucky one I am, I am, I am Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one I am, I am, I am The lucky one I am only human I guess that makes me the lucky one I guess that makes me the lucky one I am, I am, I am I guess that makes me the lucky one I am, I am, I am Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one I am, I am, I am The lucky one I am only human I guess that makes me the lucky one I guess that makes me the lucky one I guess that makes me the lucky one I guess that makes you the lucky one I guess that makes us the lucky ones |
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doctors say I can return to school Monday |
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glad that week in the hospital is over |
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I think I am just about done with this place |
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wow I think the block user button is way to close to the send button |
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screw my blood sugar.. I need chocolate |
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Stop the world I want to get off |
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picked up my guidebook for my Paris trip last night.... |
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received donor kidney on Monday August 24th at 4 am. |
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I have no clue why I am even here anymore |
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well it is now official... I am on the transplant list |
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and now the wait for that phone call...... |
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Transplant assessment Tuesday and Wednesday... Wish me luck |
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Headed to Columbus and Dayton during the last weekend in September... Anyone want to meet for dinner? |
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After many many years on thine site, I think it may be time to pack it in |
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Busy reenacting season... July 19-20 , August 2,3, 16-17 September 28-29, and maybe an event in November |
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God I hate it when I can't sleep... Wrecks my whole day |
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June 3rd a I get the catheter out of my chest |
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7 days and counting then I am on the road to Newville PA. Stopping for the night in Pittsbburgh, then staying for 3 nights in .Chambersburg...many one want to meet for dinner? |
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Well there is a setback... I had to return to hemo dialysis.. Because the PD was making me sick... Hopefully we can start over and try again |
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After the year I have had I will be glad to be going away next month, even if it for just the weekend |
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The new dialysis treatment is kicking my ass... I feel all bloats and not hungry... Hope the stomach gets used to it soon |
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surgery tomorrow.... wish me luck |
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I am thinking about maybe spending a few days in Philly in April... any ideas on where to eat? |
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well in 11 days I will be heading on my southern tour... Charlotte, Atlanta and Orlando... can't wait |
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Hanging out at home now... Waiting to see what the specialists have to say.. I really just want to go back to work |
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think I am leaving here.... I got some really REALLY bad news today that killed my will to be here.. I found out that my kidneys are shutting down.. They are only working at 15%. The doctor told me that she usually starts preparing patients for dialysis when their kidneys are at 30%, this means I need to start preparing for the dialysis options, and to prepare myself for going on the transplant list, if I make it that long. in ALberta the transplant list is 4 years long, and I have no clue what it is in Ontario...
All I know is I am scared as hell right now
Scott |
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Back in Edmonton... Anyone wanna hang out?
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Aargh I have this song stuck in my head... |
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I am headed to Pennsylvania for a week. Anyone know good places to eat in Pittsburgh? |
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Yay back home on 11th for 3 weeks |
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Anyone in Edmonton want to go to Roller Derby with me on Saturday? |
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I just booked a 23 day transatlantic cruise... oh happy day!!! |
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why is it most profiles that say no pic no response usually have no picture themselves? |
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not going home when work is done.... staying in Edmonton.. anyone want to hang out? |
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vacation over.... Headed back to Edmonton tomorrow |
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head home from Edmonton on the 4th for 3 weeks..... :) |
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Well I guess it is official... I have my plane ticket and I leave for Calgary on July 6th |
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Interview on Thursday morning... keep your fingers crossed
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plans for going out east have changed.... looking for a one tank getaway for a day or two... any ideas? |
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looks like I am headed east starting on Halloween... Cleveland, Chambersburg PA, and Pittsburgh on the way home.... |
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I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. |
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how can people go from searching to owned in the same day? |
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I am just fed, the fuck, up |
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wow wonder what happened.... someone highjacked my profile..... |
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Happy Birthday to Me!! (July 14th) |
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what is with people.. they message you.... and ask you for your messenger... you give it to them, and they block you on there without even talking to you, yet it is your fault..... so many fucking game players here
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well Leaving on Wednesday (13th) headed to Cleveland then off TO Newville Pennsylvania.... then headed Home on the 17th... overnight in Pittsburgh then back to Ontario |
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is it just me or does anyone else find the spellings Y/you and W/we annoying? |
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sometimes life has a way of kicking you in the nuts. Yesterday I won some money at the Casino... today, I put my truck in a ditch during a snowstorm, and it cost $113 to get it out... well I guess I am glad I won money the day before eh?
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Want to wish all my Collar Me Kinkster friends a very Merry Christmas, and a Joyous New Year! |
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good bye and thanks for all the fish.... |
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Think I am going to give up |
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should know in the next 10 days :) wish me luck |
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can it be... that the thing I have been waiting for since February, is finally going to happen???? Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Cheers
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ok... when I say Nigeria... I mean Nigeria, Ghana, Somalia... I do not want an AFRICAN SLAVE!!!
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stop the world I wanna get off
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Happy Canada Day to all my fellow kinky Canadian friends
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is there anything in my profile that says I'd be interested in subs/slaves from nigeria??? NO so don't F@CKING message me
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ever have a week where absolutely nothing goes right?? This week I lost my job, decided to drop out of college and someone I cared a lot about, who decided I wasn't the one for her, told me to stop communicating with someone she wanted me to help protect... usually I just let things like this slide off my back, but it is only Tuesday for crying out loud... at least I had fun at Disney last week
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it's funny how people are interested in you one minute and gone the next
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