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Baldrick

Baldrick

I have been here a long time, seen the good and the bad. Now I am just looking for conversation and friendship. If anything more develops so be it..

This place is being inundated with fake profiles again.. it is like they just cut and paste their profiles and kiss use different porn star pics.. so disappointing!

Atlantic

Sleep Token 

 

Call me when they bury bodies underwater
It's blue light over murder for me
Crumble like a temple built from future daughters
To wasteland when the oceans recede
Marry in the morning, earn your bitter father
It's easier to try not to eat
So flood me like Atlantic, bandage up the trenches
Anything to get me to sleep
I woke up surrounded, eyes like frozen planets
Just orbiting the vacuum I am
They talk me through the damage, consequence
And how it's a pain they know they don't understand
Sobbing as they turn to statues at the bedside
I'm trying not to crush into sand
So flood me like Atlantic, weather me to nothing
Wash away the blood on my hands
Call me when they bury bodies underwater
It's blue light over murder for me
Crumble like a temple built from future daughters
To wasteland when the oceans recede
Don't wake me
Don't wake me
Don't wake me up
Don't you wake (don't wake me) me up
Don't wake me
Oh (don't wake me up)

 

I'm a Marionette
By Abba performed by Ghost 
 
You're so free," that's what everybody's telling me
Yet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugee
Something's wrong, got a feeling that I don't belong
As if I had come from outer space, out of place, like King Kong

I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string
I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing
I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round
I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

Like a doll, like a puppet with no will at all
And somebody told me how to talk, how to walk, how to fall

Can't complain, I've got no-one but myself to blame
Something's happening I can't control, lost my hold, it's insane

I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string
I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing
I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round
I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

"Look this way, just a little smile," is what they say
"You look better on the photograph if you laugh, that's okay"
"You're so free," that's what everybody's telling me
Yet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugee

I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string
I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing
I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round
I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown



Dreams
Everything is about our dreams
When we dreamers stop dreaming
The rest of you have no dreams left
 
Vi är för Altid
by 
Kent
You have never stood this close, to where you want to be
You have always waded in the shallows
Between me and the deep blue sea
You'd never want me to appear
You'd never want it to be over
You never wanted to reach out to the edge of time

Witch Image

        Ghost

Had another neurologist appointment. Impairment is gone, I am fully back to normal, or as normal as I can be

Dammit. I corrected a spelling error in my profile and now I am waiting for it to be approved

Today I had a revisit to my neurologist. I had an issue in November that caused he to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. I had an issue called drop in my left foot and it caused me to fall because I had trouble lifting my foot. Today I had a test where the stuck pins in my leg and ran pulses through them to see if I was getting stimulation to the nerves in my foot and legs. It feels really weird when you don't have control of 1/4 of your body. The first test was done with stickies like for an EKG, then the second one was done with the needles. 

The good news is that there is a marked improvement, if not I would have been referred to a surgeon. the bad news is the spot he stuck the pin in my back, he stuck it in tested, and pushed in further to test again, hurts still. It's crazy. 

Wednesday is a treadmill stress test, oh yay me,

Hmm let's see it is now 2022, so a lot have time has passed between my last real post. So many things have gone on in my life since then. In 2019 I took part in the World Transplant Games in the UK. That was a hell of a trip. Spent a few days in London, then went north to Yorkshire, to the land of James Herriot, Castle Howard, and my friends farm. I spent 5 days helping take care of their herd of pigs. Can't wait to go back. I return to London for my last 9 days and ate great food, saw amazing things, and got to see New Japan Pro Wrestling do their first show in England. Got home just before second year started.

my next games are next year in Perth Australia. I will be cycling I will have a 5k time trial, a 20km team time trial, and another 30k time trial. Boy my legs are going to hate me. I had a pair of custom painted shoes done just for the games. I am hoping to be able to get a racing suit and a helmet wrapped in the same pattern. 

i am hoping to spend a bit of time in Tokyo on my way to Australia. Maybe spend 5 days. 

this is a follow up to the 4/3/2018  post


People have said I am negative, yet I come here and I see all the negative profiles and wonder to myself, how on earth will these people find happiness, with this kind of attitude? I have gotten the oh I will be your slave if you pay my way to you... after a 5 minute conversation. I have heard about so many Dom's passing away, I feel like the term Dominant is cursed! I want to find someone who has a sense of humour, who doesn't mind taking their time getting to know each other and seeing what can happen. What would you rather have a store bought frozen and thaw cake, although good, it would never match a cake that was made just for you, because the one made for you has one special ingredient has that the other doesn't, and I do not mean mono sodium glutamate. I mean love Cheers And always remember to watch out for motorcycles when you are on the road

Yay the journal is back

Tired of seeing profiles that all they say is belong to Master So and So... ok what's your point
This week has been a humdinger... with some ups, but mostly downs. I got a job at a private golf club as jr Sous chef, got accepted for school at St Clair in September and everything was great. On Wednesday a friend of mine was killed in an accident, but for some reason I didn't find out until Thursday. The Golf course had be booked in on an orientation, something they do monthly. And I had a low blood sugar incident, which makes it not a smart idea to drive. I called telling them what was going on well in advance and they said try to get there. I felt lousy the rest of the day and later got a call to make sure that I would be at work for my first day. Friday I went to work, more than a bit upset, because of my friends passing, and while I was working I was experiencing excruciating pains in my back, possibly from being sedentary for the last few years, so I talked to my Sous chef, and they sent me home. Later that night I got a phone call from the chef saying they needed someone a bit more reliable and let me go. Now I am unsure what to do. My passion for kitchens has all but evaporated, and with the shape my back is in I am not sure if I can stand to do any kind of job.... I don't even know how to start getting it back into shape..... I really feel like giving up
Happy news for once... was accepted into the Business Administration - Human Rescources program at the local college... it is an Ontario College Advanced Diploma program
Finally at my limit....
Here is a new one psycho ex is pissed off at me because i don't dream about her when I sleep.....
I am allergic to fools
Ok here's one for you... a girl as in her profile that says she is moving to Florida this week, so I thought I would be polite and wish her safe travels... She comes back with, what do you mean by that? Who left the doors to the asylum unlocked
New hard limit... video chat I am not getting the app just message me
Funny how you go from being perfectly fine to being blocked and ghosted the next
Does anyone just wanna talk anymore?
People irritate me.... an ex asked me if I worried about her if she was out driving in bad weather.. I said why would I? Gotta understand I dated this woman in the 80's
"(s)AINT" I don't care if your world is ending today Because I wasn't invited to it anyway You said I tasted famous, so I drew you a heart But now I'm not an artist I'm a fucking work of art I've got an F and a C and I got a K too And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like you You wanted perfect You got your perfect But now I'm too perfect for someone like you I was a dandy in your ghetto with A snow white smile and you'll Never be as perfect whatever you do What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT I am a bonetop, a death's head On a mopstick You infected me, took diamonds I took all your shit Your "sell-by-date" expired, So you had to be sold I'm a suffer-genius and Vivi-sex symbol You wanted perfect You got your perfect But now I'm too perfect for someone like you I was a dandy in your ghetto with A snow white smile and you'll Never be as perfect whatever you do What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT I've got an "F" and a "C" and I got a "K" too And the only thing that's missing is "U" I've got an F and a C and I got a K too And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like you I've got an F and a C and I got a K too And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like you I am a dandy in the ghetto with a snow white smile Super-ego bitch, I've been evil awhile I am a dandy in the ghetto with a snow white smile Super-ego bitch, I've been evil awhile What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT What's my name, what's my name? Hold the S because I am an AINT
This is aimed at a couple of specific people whose names I will not mention. I looked at your profile.. big deal.... you looked at mine, and I went to than you for looking and found I was blocked.... profile said no men, but you blocked me just for looking.... it's ok i blocked you for being an asshole
I wonder.... I see married women on here who say they are married to vanilla men and they are looking for sadists. Aren't the marks going to be the first sign she is cheating in some way? This is why we need warning labels on tide pods
"The Devil" Blue Stahli Forcing of the hand, a whisper in the ear Spirit of enabling Sinister command of what I want to hear I'm the only one who pulls my strings I'm the devil living in the pride I'm the devil, no one's hands are tied I'm the devil, damnation dignified I'm the devil and it's only me inside Why would you pretend your will is not your own Claiming something pushed you there? Don't mean to condescend but it's you and you alone You're the architect of your despair And I'm the devil living in the pride I'm the devil, no one's hands are tied I'm the devil, damnation dignified I'm the devil and it's only me inside I'm the devil living in the pride I'm the devil, no one's hands are tied I'm the devil, damnation dignified I'm the devil and it's only me inside I'm the devil, damnation dignified I'm the devil and it's only me inside
Shitty end to a shitty year... next year will be so much better...
Are people that full of themselves they block another person for looking at their profile?
Suffocate Cold I could take every fucking word she says Throw it in her face But would she even care I still remember when she looked at me That frown upon her face Trying to be sincere I gathered all those little things she said Kept them close to me Trying to make this real This cloud will alway hover over me I'm leaving you today 'Cause now I see Suffocate, you suffocate That you lie (I don't lie) That your fake (I'm not a freak) Suffocate, you suffocate You always take (I don't take) What you can (what I can) I could take every fucking game you play Blow it all away But would you even care I could take all those lies you said to me Never go away Never disappear This cloud will always hover over me I'm leaving you today 'Cause now I see Suffocate, you?
Why do people have more than one profile, and have them both running at the same time?
Down In Flames" Shame Wear the pity and the blame Basking in the glow A lovely crown of thorns Cliche Overdramatic display An unwelcome show Of steady undertow You'll make 'em watch while you go down in flames Self-inflicted pretty little martyr If forcing empathy Is as clever as you can be We'll gladly watch while you go down in flames Burn baby burn Vain You're the Abel and the Cain No coincidence you crave an audience Stray Committed to the decay Fake mercy pose And on and on it goes You'll make 'em watch while you go down in flames Self-inflicted pretty little martyr If forcing empathy Is as clever as you can be We'll gladly watch while you go down in flames Burn baby burn
Why is it, so many people here want you to go check them out of FL? Are they afraid of being seen slumming here?
Definition of irony... my wellness appointment at the gym had to be cancelled this morning because my wellness coach was sick
Dealt with some real fucking winners tonight
People have told me before that this is a place where shouldn't put negative thoughts, because it would scare people off. As this is my journal spot, I don't give a crap what people think, so I am just going to write what I feel, and if folks don't like it, well they don't have to read it do they. As anyone who has delved into my journal knows, I had a kidney transplant a couple years ago, and I had a few ccomplications. What many don't know is I have spiraled down with depression and motivation ever since. I used to walk for miles for fun... now I have trouble even being motivated to walk downstairs to my living room, amd I hate the way this makes me feel. I am starting to feel like a worthless human being. Some here will say that this is not a Dom attitude to have. I say do you have to not be human and have feelings if you are a Dominant? I am struggling hard. I have no motivation to do anything. I make plans to try to make my life better, but don't follow through. I just don't know what to do.....
Well it looks like I am going to be a college student again next year
applied today to go back to school.... might be interesting, i have to get a few ducks in a row first
Someone called me a pig today and told me to fuck off because I said good luck to them.... and this person wonders why they are alone
Got blocked by a scammer today... they said they were no limits except for blood and scat. I said well then those are hard limits.. they said yes... I said ok then you have limits... I said what about broken bones, kids and animals.,, they said no those are off limits... there you go you have hard limits, so you are not a no limits slave. They said I didn't understand, told me to go,to hell and blocked me Make that two
I find it funny that you send a message asking where someone lives to see if they are close, and instead of saying no thanks or not interested they just block you. When someone looks at my profile, I politely send a message thanking them for looking. I sent this person a message, they looked at my profile, I went to send a message saying hey thanks for looking and they had already blocked me... People make no sense to me at all
Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get out of bed in the morning
Back to the land of the employed
Do you ever want smack someone the the head and ask them if they are fucking stupid?
Taking a break
I never knew She's gone She's flown away Everyone said She's not Your kinda girl I'm so alone This girl is Flown fear Everyone said She fucked up this time It's my brand new world today And it's my brand new world this way I'll never change It's wrong So go away Everyone said She's not Your kinda girl I've tasted love It burns I'm so afraid Everyone said She fucked up this time It's my brand new world today And it's my brand new world this way It's my brand new world today And it's my brand new world this way I think this fuckin witch knows The way And everything I feel I think this fuckin witch knows The way And everything I feel I think this fuckin witch knows The way And everything I feel I think this fuckin witch knows The way And everything I feel She knows She knows She knows She fucked up this time It's my brand new world today And it's my brand new world this way It's all mine It's all mine It's all mine This new world today Witch from 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage By Cold
I have finally hit the point where I am done.... I will talk to friends but I am not looking anymore
In 24 hours I twisted my knee playing volleyball, and fell down the stairs messing up my other knee.. oh yay!
Spiralling down, emotional unsound girl Building an empire to live in hope All the days and sleepless nights, endless painful nights All the wood from the trees sinking me to my knees Pleasures abound caused suffering around WHERE IS MY FAITH ? IT'S GONE UNDERGROUND IT'S A LITTLE DISAPPEARED, A LITTLE DISAPPEARED Burning ambition cooled when I read Letters of heartache, columns of agony I HAVE TO SAY YOU'RE WRONG, I ENDURED SUCH A LIFE SO LONG A LITTLE DISAPPEARED, A LITTLE DISAPPEARED A little disappeared, a little disappeared For every life, there's a growing need, for if you cut me I shall bleed Serious papers but I don't look down, wearing the tears of a clown WHERE IS MY FAITH ? IT'S GONE UNDERGROUND IT'S A LITTLE DISAPPEARED, A LITTLE DISAPPEARED A Little Disappeared inspiral Carpets
Riddle me this Batman... why is it so hard for people to simply communicate?
Getting tired of the idiots
I am noticing so many want to serve sexually AND domestically... I need one who will serve just domestically, because I really need someone to wash my damned car
I hate when I can't sleep....
Not sure hot to take my mind right now... I am flipping between this site, and a cook book by Alain Passard of the fine art of cooking vegetables
Taking a break for a few days... if you know how to find me, get in touch
Ugh I am in hell... went from high performance gaming computer to a $200 Lenovo because it was cheaper to buy this one than repair the Alienware at the mo.. wish I had my 24 gigs of ram back
Have you ever run into an ex after many many years, and realize they are as dumb as a post?
People here take this place waaaaay too seriously
Don't care who you are, I am not paying to relocate you... Get a damned job
I tap... I am tired of the idiocy here
It's funny... you message someone and want to get to know them and their profile is a complete lie.... says they are single, but they are living with a boyfriend...
ok now I have seen everything... a profile with a mug shot for an image
Don't you love the scammers when they get all indignant when you cal, them out on their bullshit, like it is your fault
To all of our kinky family down in Florida.. be safe
I hate stupid people
I love the violence inside your mind Scrape by Blue Stahli
It is funny how people are so shallow.... Send them a pic and they block you....
I hate people with no sense of haha
Tornado touched down four times in town today...
Today is my first rebirth day
People just piss me the fuck off
Happy birthday to me
Whoever just favorited me send me a message
Blood and Roses By Smithereens It was long ago Seems like yesterday Saw you standin' in the rain Then I heard you say "I want to love but it comes out wrong I want to live but I don't belong I close my eyes and I see Blood and roses" Love flowers in the springtime October we were wed In wintertime the roses died The blood ran cold and then she said "I want to love but it comes out wrong I want to live but I don't belong I close my eyes and I see Blood and roses" It was long ago Seems like yesterday Saw you standin' in the rain Then I heard you say "I need your love but it comes out wrong I try to live but I don't belong I close my eyes and I see Blood and roses, blood and roses Blood and roses, blood and roses"
I put lyrics to songs in my journal because they reflect how I feel at any given time. If you look back, most of the lyrics are kind of sad, because when I posted them I was not in the greatest of moods, but even though the words may sound down a lot of the music it self is upbeat.. Have a nice day The Devil Jason Charles Miller We found him by the roadside Nothing to him but his name He struggled to his feet Withered from the heat Cussin? at the street ?I don?t want your help, I just want to know where I am.? Then he slowly looked around Recognized the town Then he laid back down If you think I?m the devil it?s only because I live in hell If you?re looking for trouble you found it because I live in hell When she walked into the courthouse The blood on her blouse was still wet They took one look at her face Certain of the case A horrible disgrace ?I don?t want your mercy, I want you to know why I?m here.? Then she told them of the pain The horrible refrain Of a life in chains If you think I?m the devil it?s only because I live in hell If you?re looking for trouble you found it because I live in hell Now I?m standing right in front of you And the only thing I can pursue Is to show you that I?m not what you think I am So if you think I?m the devil it?s only because I live in hell If you?re looking for trouble you found it because I live in hell I live in hell I live in hell I live in hell >
this is for someone very special "Cure My Tragedy (A Letter To God)" Remember all the times that we used to play? You were lost and I would save you I don't think those feelings will ever fade You were born a part of me I was never good at hiding anything My thoughts break me Do you understand what you mean to me? You are my faith [Chorus] Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2] Don't take her smile away from me She's broken and I'm far away Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2] if you make the world a stage for me then I hope that you can hear me scream Won't you cure my tragedy? When I sit and think of the days we shared and the nights you covered for me Every little thing that I ever did You would stand by me Everytime you cried it would take my wind My heart would break If I could be strong like you were for me You are my faith [Chorus] Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2] Don't take her smile away from me She's broken and I'm far away Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2] if you make the world a stage for me then I hope that you can hear me scream Won't you cure my tragedy? Can you hear me scream? [x2] [Chorus] Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2] Don't take her smile away from me She's broken and I'm far away Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2] if you make the world a stage for me then I hope that you can hear me scream Won't you cure my tragedy? I can't take this anymore I can't feel this anymore Won't you take and give her pain to me 'Cause my whole life I've made mistakes Can you hear me scream? [x2] By Cold from the CD? Year of the Spider
Why is it around here, that someone says something you don't like, no one has the common decency to say, oh sorry you're not for me... When people look at my profile 9 times out of 10 I send a note saying thank you for looking. I hate the way the world is becoming so impersonal and downright rude. You would do something like that to someone's face, why would you do it here Here endith the rant
Today is not a good day.....

"Happens All The Time"

I still hang on every word
in the world of faded memories
where you're still in love with me
I can see it in your eyes
A look as if your Major Tom has lost control

[Chorus:]
I must hold on
This happens all the time
I still find my faith in you
I can't hold on
this happens all the time
I still find my way to you

If a dreams all that I've got
then I wish you're in a fairy tale
where you're still in love with me
I could see it in your eyes
the look as if your hero fell and lost his soul

[Chorus]

To you...
To you...
To you...

[Chorus]
Some people think I shouldn't put stuff about my illness in my journal. It's my journal and I will do what I want with it. Anyway today marks the 3rd anniversary of the worst day of my life. 3 years today I found out I was in stage 4 kidney failure... From finding out, to having your transplant in under 3 years I would say is pretty darned good
I have been feel ill for the last 2 weeks. Tomorrow (Thursday) I have clinic And I have a feeling they are going to keep me. So no one head from me for a week that is why
What do you do, when everything that comes out of your mind and fingers is wrong? Especially when it hurts a friend you really care about. Any thoughts?
When does one cross the line here and say enough of the rejection and move on? I like to think I am a genuinely nice person, but I talk to someone for awhile and then no more conversation. Maybe it is me and I am as asshat and don't know it or is everyone here looking for that elusive unicorn and won't settle for anything else? I know I am not perfect, and am currently on disability due to a kidney transplant, but it doesn't mean I am like that for ever and am ready to get back in the game only it has been 3 years it takes me a bit of time to get going
Ever just want to run away...
Why are people are so in a hurry to get owned here? What ever happened to getting to know someone on a personal and intellectual level before even thinking about D/s? It seems to me collars these days are not locked on they are attached with Velcro. Just my thought
ever have a feeling of sadness that just wont go away?
Happy news today... The BK polyoma virus that was threatening to destroy my kidney has been defeated. My creatinine level is dropping, but they are not sure how much damage was done to the kidney by the virus... Now we wait and see
I am just so tired of this...
Rest in Peace Ziggy Stardust
So need to start cutting dead wood from my life
Ugh the skype spammers are out in force today.. Think I have blocked 6
Seems like the virus is starting to be beaten back
Tomorrow, Saturday December 5th I am taking a social media and electronics day off... I am going to read a book! Message me when I get back
well I didn't get admitted like I thought I would... so maybe things are looking up
I may be out of contact for a week or more.. I may be admitted to the hospital tomorrow. Leave kinds thoughts and messages please
Today is the 3 month anniversary ( I hate that word if under a year) of my kidney transplant. I want to thank my donor family, whoever they are, for the generous gift of a new life. I am eternally grateful
On the hunt for poblano peppers, for a braised pepper and short rib stew
one of my favourite songs

Unrequited

Torn and folded pages
I can't understand
Life slowly rearranges
It's never in the plan

If you had this to give me
Why did it have to die?
I'll never comprehend it
I'll just keep asking why

Unrequited
Your sickened thoughts of love are unrequited
There's nothing left in my heart that can love

And my body's just a vessel with a broken soul
And floating all around me are my memories
Of a time when I could comprehend a simple touch
But now it's gone away

Unrequited
Your sickened thoughts of love are unrequited
There's nothing left in my heart that can love

And if you try to manipulate me again you'll see that
I am just a shell that once could feel
But now is empty thanks to you

Unrequited
Your sickened thoughts of love are unrequited
There's nothing left in my heart that can love

And if you try to manipulate me again you'll see that
I am just a shell that once could feel
But now is empty thanks to you

As a lot of you know, I have been around here an awfully long time, and I recently had a kidney transplant. As of late things have not gone all that well in Baldrickland. I was admitted with an abcess in my peritoneal dialysis catheter, which resulted in an 8 day stay in the hospital. With the transplant I am required to to to clinic weekly for blood work, and all that good stuff. I have had 2 blood draws in the last 8 days, and one of my levels has jumped 50 points. That could be due to the infection, or it could also mean that e kidney is possibly rejecting. I am scared as hell right now, and I hope people will keep me in their thoughts and prayers. At the earliest I will be home Thursday, if not it will be Sunday or Monday Wish me luck If folks don't hear from me for a few days it means I am in hospital and I can't access this site from the hospital
"The Lucky One"

Payback is overdue
So much for my I. O. U.
My head is stuck underneath God's thumb
I guess that makes me the lucky one

Stupidity is a constant trend
Murphy and I have become best friends
Hooray for dreams gone before they've come
Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one

[Chorus:]
I am, I am, I am
The lucky one
I am, I am, I am
Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one
I am, I am, I am
The lucky one
I am a comedian
The joke's on me, I'm the lucky one

A sinking ship, holes in my lifeboat
I'm sorry for choking but I?ve got a wishbone stuck in my throat
I never thought this could be such fun
Hooray for me I'm the lucky one

[Chorus:]
I am, I am, I am
The lucky one
I am, I am, I am
Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one
I am, I am, I am
The lucky one
I am a comedian
The joke's on me, I'm the lucky one

[Bridge:]
I tried to push straight through the suck
Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck
I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck
Lucky for me I don't believe in luck
I tried to push straight through the suck
Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck
I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck
Lucky for me I don't believe in luck
I tried to push straight through the suck
Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck
I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck
Lucky for me I don't believe in luck
Lucky for me I don't believe in luck
I tried to push straight through the suck
Head first but now my f'ing head is stuck
I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck
Lucky for me I don't believe in luck

I don't believe in luck
I don't believe in luck

I'm feeling like a stupid schmuck
Thank God I don't believe in luck
Thank God I don't believe in luck
Thank God I don't believe in luck
Thank God I don't believe in luck

Rusted linings on my black clouds
It's raining piss, will somebody tell me what's that all about?
Wish on a blackstar until it comes
It's here for me, I'm the lucky one

I am, I am, I am
The lucky one
I am, I am, I am
Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one
I am, I am, I am
The lucky one
I am only human
I guess that makes me the lucky one

I guess that makes me the lucky one
I am, I am, I am
I guess that makes me the lucky one
I am, I am, I am
Hooray for me, I'm the lucky one
I am, I am, I am
The lucky one
I am only human
I guess that makes me the lucky one
I guess that makes me the lucky one
I guess that makes me the lucky one

I guess that makes you the lucky one

I guess that makes us the lucky ones
doctors say I can return to school Monday
glad that week in the hospital is over
I think I am just about done with this place
wow I think the block user button is way to close to the send button
screw my blood sugar.. I need chocolate
Stop the world I want to get off
picked up my guidebook for my Paris trip last night....
received donor kidney on Monday August 24th at 4 am.
Happy Birthday to Me
I have no clue why I am even here anymore
well it is now official... I am on the transplant list
and now the wait for that phone call......
Transplant assessment Tuesday and Wednesday... Wish me luck
Snow day!!!
Headed to Columbus and Dayton during the last weekend in September... Anyone want to meet for dinner?
After many many years on thine site, I think it may be time to pack it in
Busy reenacting season... July 19-20 , August 2,3, 16-17 September 28-29, and maybe an event in November
God I hate it when I can't sleep... Wrecks my whole day
June 3rd a I get the catheter out of my chest
7 days and counting then I am on the road to Newville PA. Stopping for the night in Pittsbburgh, then staying for 3 nights in .Chambersburg...many one want to meet for dinner?
Well there is a setback... I had to return to hemo dialysis.. Because the PD was making me sick... Hopefully we can start over and try again
After the year I have had I will be glad to be going away next month, even if it for just the weekend
The new dialysis treatment is kicking my ass... I feel all bloats and not hungry... Hope the stomach gets used to it soon

surgery tomorrow.... wish me luck

I am thinking about maybe spending a few days in Philly in April... any ideas on where to eat?

well in 11 days I will be heading on my southern tour... Charlotte, Atlanta and Orlando... can't wait

Happy birthday to me
Hanging out at home now... Waiting to see what the specialists have to say.. I really just want to go back to work

think  I am leaving here.... I got some really REALLY bad news today that killed my will to be here..  I found out that my kidneys are shutting down..  They are only working at 15%. The doctor told me that she usually starts preparing patients for dialysis when their kidneys are at 30%, this means I need to start preparing for the dialysis options, and to prepare myself for going on the transplant list, if I make it that long. in ALberta the transplant list is 4 years long, and I have no clue what it is in Ontario...

 

All I know is I am scared as hell right now

 

Scott

Back in Edmonton... Anyone wanna hang out?
Aargh I have this song stuck in my head...

I am headed to Pennsylvania for a week. Anyone know good places to eat in Pittsburgh?

Yay back home on 11th for 3 weeks

Anyone in Edmonton want to go to Roller Derby with me on Saturday?

I just booked a 23 day transatlantic cruise... oh happy day!!!

why is it most profiles that say no pic no response usually have no picture themselves?

not going home when work is done.... staying in Edmonton.. anyone want to hang out?

In Edmonton...

vacation over.... Headed back to Edmonton tomorrow

home sweet home

head home from Edmonton on the 4th for 3 weeks..... :)

In Edmonton...

Well I guess it is official... I have my plane ticket and I leave for  Calgary on July 6th

Interview on Thursday morning... keep your fingers crossed

 

plans for going out east have changed.... looking for a one tank getaway for a day or two... any ideas?

looks like I am headed east starting on Halloween... Cleveland, Chambersburg PA, and Pittsburgh on the way home....

here we go again!!

I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

how can people go from searching to owned in the same day?

I am just fed, the fuck, up

wow wonder what happened.... someone highjacked my profile.....

Happy Birthday to Me!! (July 14th)

what is with people.. they message you.... and ask you for your messenger... you give it to them, and they block you on there without even talking to you, yet it is your fault.....  so many fucking game players here

 

well Leaving on Wednesday (13th) headed to Cleveland then off TO Newville Pennsylvania....  then headed Home on the 17th... overnight in Pittsburgh then back to Ontario

is it just me or does anyone else find the spellings Y/you and W/we annoying?

sometimes life has a way of kicking you in the nuts. Yesterday I won some money at the Casino...  today, I put my truck in a ditch during a snowstorm, and it cost $113 to get it out... well I guess I am glad I won money the day before eh?

 

Want to wish all my Collar Me Kinkster friends a very Merry Christmas, and a Joyous New Year!

good bye and thanks for all the fish....

Think I am going to give up

should know in the next 10 days :) wish me luck

can it be... that the thing I have been waiting for since February, is finally going to happen???? Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Cheers
ok... when I say Nigeria... I mean Nigeria, Ghana, Somalia... I do not want an AFRICAN SLAVE!!! 
stop the world I wanna get off
Happy Canada Day to all my fellow kinky Canadian friends
is there anything in my profile that says I'd be interested in subs/slaves from nigeria??? NO so don't F@CKING message me
ever have a week where absolutely nothing goes right??  This week I lost my job, decided to drop out of college and someone I cared a lot about, who decided I wasn't the one for her, told me to stop communicating with someone she wanted me to help protect...  usually  I just let things like this slide off my back, but it is only Tuesday for crying out loud... at least I had fun at Disney last week
it's funny how people are interested in you one minute and gone the next