Verijaa 

If your profile pic is your crotch or your butt, from any angle, clothed or not, lingerie or not, chastity or not, I will "Hide" your profile from view. I do not want to be introduced to a crotch or a butt. If your profile pic is a bathroom mirror nude body shot, I likely will not look further. Why would I want to get to know somebody with so little sense of aesthetics, so little willingness to put in a bit of effort, so little imagination? A profile avatar is your introduction, your first hand-shake, not a place to bare your all. Even on a kink site, we are people first. Kinky does not mean a total lack of class or style or courtesy. A profile avatar does not have to be a face pic, it doesn't even have to be you, it just has to show something interesting about you. A hobby, a pet, a silhouette of you against a sunset, a photo you took and love. If your body doesn't belong in a fashion magazine, don't expect it to be interesting to potential partners as a first introduction. Bodies become much more attractive for many women when we get to know the person first. We are looking for more than bodies. Show us a WHOLE PERSON. That goes for the body of the profile, too. Show us a whole person, not another horny porn-fed online wannabe without a clue. Show you know what you are talking about outside of porn, which is NOT educational. Be a real, interesting, knowledgable person. Or do please write to somebody else.

Philosophically at the beginning stage (when both people are technically 'free' to make choices), the Master approaches an agreeable sub about their mutual interest in providing that necessary slave for Him. This early period is like consulting a surrogate, whose only purpose is to carry the 'new entity' to full-term, dutifully hand it over to Him, and disappear out of sight, ceding to Him the full Reign, Supreme Authority and Ownership over the new slave. Every now and then however, He may still need to consult the remote surrogate for operating manual details that He doesn't yet fuly understand, but His goal is to eliminate that surrogate entirely, and assume exclusive control over His property. During this delicate surrogate stage, Master gets to practice His skills over the sub, giving it a taste of His Domination, making it realize that He is merely tolerating it, only until it delivers His slave, and then it will be discarded. That will happen when the surrogate finally signs the M/s contract on the slave's behalf, willingly transferring authority to Him, so that the Master rightfully assumes full ownership and responsibility over His property in perpetuity. From that moment on, Master sees only a slave before Him.

There sure is a lot of hetero men checking me out that don't have seeking transgender on their profile list of preferences. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or if there just aren't many cis women to choose from?  I do prefer straight alpha males but I am hesitant to respond to their messages if they aren't seeking a transwoman.  I just find that a bit strange and I'm looking for men that are secure with their own sexuality..  Also I find it to be annoying getting messages with just a few words about my looks, no proper introduction etc.  I'd like to remind those men that if they want to impress a lady then they should put in a little effort and use some common courtesy and respect. Remember that just because I am submissive doesn't equate to I am YOUR submissive. I never will be if You can't treat me with the same respect you would give to a real lady...  Thank you for your attention to this matter. ;) - Toni 

It has been a week since your initial inspection   I have had you serve me daily. Your domestic skills are very good and you are quite the handyman    You endure your daily spankings, but  your limits need to be pushed as far as pain tolerance    Today I have errands to run, prior to leaving, I blindfold you and lead you to the bed    I assist you to lay on your side and place you in a fetal position   I bound your hands behind your back and your feet they found it together   I slowly pushed your knees more forward to expose your man pussy   I grab my favorite remote butt plug lube it up really nicely and slide it in   I kiss you on the forehead and tell you I should be back shortly and as I'm leaving out the bedroom I grab my phone and begin the wonderful stimulation of your man pussy  

Spiderman kiss.   I was apartment sitting for a girlfriend. She lived in a really nice high rise building with a pool a fitness center and a sauna. I decide to lay out at the pool. It was during the week and nobody was there except a life guard. Instead of a lounge chair by the pool I decided to go to the baby pool where I could sunbathe while in the water.  I've been in this pool several times during my visits here and met several people there. So I'm laying there in the pool with my head on the tile as comfy as I can get.  I'm wearing a tiny black bikini and enjoying the sun.  My eyes are closed and I hear "psst." I look up and back and I see Danielle who I've met a few times.  She's a tall hot blonde with a big smile. "Hey you" I reply. "Come lay out with me by the pool" she says.  "Kiss me first and I will" I say.   Danielle walks over to me as I lean my head back and she plants a sexy wet kiss on my lips, Spiderman style.  I grab my stuff and we lay out on two lounge chairs side by side. She's wearing a red string bikini and lies face down on the chair. I lay face up in n my black bikini.  "Where's your husband? I ask. "Oh we're not married. He's a pilot and I'm a chief stew. We share this place when we're in town." She explains.  "I like your bikini, where'd you buy it?" She asks.  "I bought it at The Bikini Shop on M street." I reply.  "It's the only place I know where I can buy smaller bikinis like this."  "I know that place. I model there." She says.  "That's me in those pictures on the walls." "Aww no way for real?" I ask. "Yes I know the owner." She replies.  We chat about swimsuits and modeling and tanning. Just chit chat.  I get up and she asks where are you going? And I say I'm going into the sauna and that I'll be right back.  I lay flat on my back in the sauna in my bikini and close my eyes.  A minute later Danielle comes in. She looks at my sweaty body and sits next to me. Our eyes meet. One thing leads to another.   You know that movie Groundhog Day?  Bill Murray tells the two guys at the bowling alley about the time he and this girl ate lobster and had sex and wondered why couldn't I have that day over and over?   My day with Danielle was my day. 

Message to a User about Tonight 3/25/2020 I actually had a pretty good time tonight with the Divorced Dad. We chatted & caught up with each other. About the kids and he finally met someone whose he been dating for a month. Still new and casual but he thinks it's going to lead somewhere. I updated him about my life & school and such. We went to his bedroom and he was naked in a flash and laid back on his bed. I went for it. He has and upward curve so taking it down all the way facing him isn't possible so I went to his side and spread my legs and let him play with my ass as I went down. I got his balls deep in my nose and he loved grabbing my head and pushing me as hard as he could and thrusting upward. I started licking his balls and lapping up and down his cock before I moved southward towards his taint then his ass. He flipped over and I gave him a great rim job for quite some time. He then flipped over and I rode his cock. I have really built thighs and great at riding up and down and doing a lot of the saddle work. He surprised me by grabbing my hips and jack ramming me (He's very muscular) We then did reverse saddle then doggy all in the same me back into him twirling back into him and him thrusting deeper. Laying his body onto mine and pumping hard and speeding up his tempo. We ended with my head over the bed and him fucking me deeply. I did gag a bit. Disappointed in that but he did cum all the way down my throat with his balls at the base of my mouth. We both laughed afterwards and chatted some more. We have stayed friends even when we didn't sleep together and I have an odd habit of sucking a cock & making weird casual yet intimate relationships where I know about what's going on and things. He said he likes how genuine I am and likes that I'm doing well with school & work and that made my night since we haven't seen each other in a while and he sees that things are going well. (I don't see sucking cocks as a detrimental thing lol)

Her hands held the pen, the black ink swirling across the page as she signed the contract. The last time she would ever see her real name, the last time her date of birth would even matter. She paused, holding her breath in her shuttering lungs… and as the seconds ticked by like years, her lung’s released and the chime rang. The electronic paper instantly sealed the contact and the encryption code saved to the nanochip.A metal arm came from the wall, and in a quick second her eyes blinked, and the chip engaged.She was still her, her personality, her smile, her spirit, but her body now belonged to the New American Order. She fought as long as she could, the price of housing and food had risen so high she was living so poorly. They had removed all unchipped teachers long ago, uncipped could not work jobs that paid in NAObitcoin. She could only get paid in paper money which only unchipped could spend. The black market was dangerous and she knew the consequences.The government now allowed people to elect to be chipped as household wifes. They would live a normal life, raising children, and making their families a unit, and thus rebuilding the community which once made this nation strong.She was a beautiful women, her long auburn hair landed in near perfect curls, her beautiful eyes could sink the universe. She held a PHD and would make an excellent home school teacher for a man who had a large family.She sat in the chair, gripping the skirt if the dress, and staring at the wall. A screen came on and the host started talking.“Gentlemen of the NAO tonight we have a wonderful selection of wives. They have all signed in willingly so there are no confinement rules for these women. Lets get started.”The door to her room opened and she stepped in to the hall. She took the step and closed her eyes, her sister got a nice man, they are so happy. She was going to have the same, she knew it.“First we have this beautiful older model, she will bare no children, but she is sweet and caring. She has a good voice, pleasant demeanor, tested level 9/10 in cooking and house keeping, she scored 10/10 in intellect. As you know gentlemen she will be tested for sexual abilities, her current rating in the outside was 4.6 so definitely above average but those chipless have no idea.”The door opened at the end of the hall, she walked quickly to the door, she had watched this millions if times on the tele. It had become required viewing but the poor only got to see the limited view, they put so many propaganda commercials in the show it was hard to really understand what was happening.The men in the room were all high class government officials, they were all men who had created the order, and their first wives were probably in work camps, or dead from the war. The rebels attacked their homes and wives, so many ran to other countries at the end of the war. Now other countries were turned to watch as NAO rebuilt and became the world leader of technology and education.The days of the starving poor was over, well as long as you chipped up. If you were a normie your life didnt change except you had no rent, no bills, but you worked for the government and ate what the government gave you. It wasnt a horrible life, you married in your class, and lived happy. The problem came with people like her. She was smart enough to live with out the system, pretty enough to be a wife, refined and well skilled, and her date rating put her on their radar.She only signed up to find a match, she was sick of her lonely home. They just started letting nochips on the site and she knew better!When her rating hit its highest the rent in her area went up, the power for vehicles tripled, food prices doubled. She got a speeding ticket and that was it… she couldn’t pay her rent… and there Lacy was, to offer her a spot in the highest ranked tv show in the History of the planet. It was required watching in the NAO and many international countries allowed their citizens to watch and participate, part of the new Jenniva treaty.So here she was, the room was black, the ceiling back, the bed and everything painted in the darkest black. She stepped to the door and the door behind her shut.“Remove your dress and precede to the bed.” The audience wouldnt see anything, its black, there is no light, but there are speakers and they can hear everything. She pulled her dress off and sat it next to the bed. She was stark naked, her large breasts we’re hanging from her, her body shivered as her hair tickled her back. She crouched down and lay down on the bed.“Place your right hand on the board. Place your left hand on the left board.” Her arms moved and then click the magnet locked, they had implanted her with magnets and chips throughout her body. The lights clicked off. For a second she could hear movement and then the headphones clapped down on her head. Hands ran down her body and the audience cheered as the meter stared to rise. His hands found her face and he pulled her in to a kiss, his tongue darting about and dancing with hers. His other hand found her pussy, and he clamped his hand down. The meter went to 1.0, and then his finger slipped inside, her body wetting for him, his head tilted, and his eyes flickered in to the darkness. “Ohhh a fun one.” He whispered in her ear. His fingers began working her clit and her body responded, he rubbed and twisted and pulled as she moaned loudly. Her chip holding her back from orgasm but leaving her right in the edge. He paused, and his mouth found her breasts which made her moan loudly again as the meter kept rising 3.0,4.0,7.0. The crowd started to whisper as no one had ever gotten higher than 8 and she was just starting. He pressed his cock against her, his large head pushing hard, as her rating went higher, and then he pushed in, hard. His huge cock filling her and pushing hard against the top of her as she moaned loudly, the harder he pushed the rougher he got the more she moaned and flooded him. Her hips moved with his, drawing him deeper, harder as she ground herself in to him. He reached up and put his hand on her neck, the default for allowing an orgasm during testing and she came. Her vagina pressed in on him pulsating hard as he continued to pound her, she came hard over and over moaning loudly. He stopped for a second and stepped back. “Turn over.” Her wrists released, and she flipped over, she had not had sex like this in years, she forgot it was anything other than a glorious night of love. He gripped her hips and pressed his cock in to her ass, as she arched her back and moaned out loudly. He started to work her ass slowly and then harder and harder pounding her hard. She shook as his hips hit her ass with a force she couldn’t believe. It almost took her breath how hard and good it felt. He reached up and grabbed her hair and held it tight slamming in to her harder, his other hand found her clit. He wouldn’t let her cum, he had decided now she didn't get anymore, they were all his. He pressed harder and harder, her body sweating and her breathing rough he continued, as he came he slapped her ass hard. The number blinked on the wall 8.7 highest first test score. The room blacked.. the commercial started, and men whispered among themselves.“I think i might have enough to purchasing that one.” A tall dark gentleman spoke. The room fell silent, as a bell rang which meant a second test was requested. The testing fee was not cheep, but someone needed to know her limit.Two men with night vision glasses came in and helped her straddle a round saw horse, her leg magnet locking in place, her wrists, she could no longer move.“Its time for the maximum orgasm test!” The host spoke in an over excited tone, his own body reacting to the sights. The lights turned off and above her head a digital board read 4.“According to the chip she has already orgasmed 4 times, remember folks the highest score ever is 70, in 2hours and 10 min. Once we start this test we will continue the auction.She was cold, but as soon as she felt it the sensation went away, the chip overriding the warning. A buzz starts in the background and her body starts to prepare, the sound of a milker clicking away behind her also made her body react. The buzz and tick tick take her in to a trance, and her body relaxes. He inserts a large 1 inch dildo inside if her, he clips the vibratior clamp on her clit as she lets out a loud yelp.“Mute her please.” The host says quietly. The man hits a button and her moans quiet and she starts to orgasm.“Oh no not yet kitten we aren’t even there yet.” His deep voice echoed in her ear, as thr command found its protocol, her body slowed the orgasm, and then liquid squirts on her ass as he presses in and works a large plug, its vibrations start to sink with the dildo. Her entire body clamped down, which only made the sensation stronger as she orgasmed hard. "oh yeah I should… release." as the word echoed in her empty mind the orgasms rushed in..10,11,12,13… her biometric system counting orgasm after orgasm.He smiled in to the dark as the goat milker cups attached to each breast and turned on low, then higher and higher, as it sucked her 38h breasts deep in to the glass, 22,23,26.He stood there watching with his night vision , his prize will be a percentage of her price, 30,31,32. He grabbed a flogger and whipped her ass hard, a flood of orgasms came in 41,43,44. He spanked her again, 50."Gentlemen our special purchase has hit 50! can you believe that? alright next is 35, rating 4.5, cooking 6 but comes with optional upgrade option, overall sex rating 8 with a maximum daily use 3 times… the bidding starts at her debt to the NAO of 100 Naobitcoins. Let the game begin. " the host pointed to the screen where bids were flying in from all over the world."The timer has started… bids are up to 2,000… 2,300… 3,2,1. 2,600 NAOBC… And your name is Cynthia. congratulations and may you live in the peace of your submission. " the audience said along with the host."now were are we at with our live test… 67 in 30 min, 68,69,70! she beat the record! She sucked breath in to her lungs as her body just kept going, she was dripping with sweat, her body begging for help, her moans muted her voice box turned off as she cameover and over. The machines clicked off her body shivered, and the chip took over, her hands and legs released as she stood, her brain not fully functioning. She walked to the bed her legs shaking and pulled her dress on. A door opened to a bathroom, an entire crew of beauty and glamor experts stood there. They had one commercial break to make her look fresh. She was pushed in to a shower the water spraying up and down on her in all directions. The water turned to warm air as she stepped from the shower dry and clean, the stockings slid on and clipped in to a pink and black garter. the corset top clipped in to place and then tied tight. her dress was slid over her head, and tightened down. Her hair was twisted and twirled and her makeup went on fast, a blinking light told the crew it was time.“Gentlemen it is time. How much would you pay? The time starts now…..” the     

VOTED YESTERDAY!  Wow it feels good to know it is done. I've always marveled at the lost opportunity and lackadaisicle approach to citizenship by those who choose not to vote.  Indeed, they often are the ones with the most protests.  Chit or get off the pot I say!   Too many think it is their right to be born, right to have rights, right to complain without productivity.  Of course I agree, we do have the right to not participate, but that IS participation in and of itself though I tend to believe it is almost passive aggressive in nature and not courageous or dare I say honoring the priveledge we receive in this country and many others. I'm more of the mindset that it is our duty as Global Citizens, to do our part to contribute to the human condition positively and proactively.  I know, I've heard all the arguements and it still doesn't pass muster with Me.  Take Jehovah Wintnesses - they dont' participate in ANY voting as they believe mans laws have no place under God's laws.  Imagine that!  A whole section of society that profess not to partake in any governing over their lives.  While I can intellectualize their choices and appreciate their contributions as they are - it BLOWS My mind they remain silent so to speak. The examples go one and on.  At the end of the day - "IF YOU WANT TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF AND MAKE A CHANGE". Get out and VOTE!  Better still, go get yourself an absentee ballot and VOTE TODAY!

What my submissive nature looks like:   I naturally end up taking care of others better than I take care of myself. I love to maintain a household and provide nourishment and comfort to all who dwell there. I enjoy pampering my partner. I’ve raised a child, I garden, I cook, I fix things and I take pride in a job well done.    Things I’m not so good at… selling myself, making big $$, asking for what I need or making the first move.   I’m sensitive and inquisitive. I care about the world. I’m drawn to ponder the meaning of life. I cherish touch, beauty, intimacy and indulging in carnal delights. I love truth and freedom. I adore feeling wanted, desired and useful to the Feminine. I adore giving pleasure… physical, emotional and mental. I adore receiving pleasure. I enjoy enduring erotic pain for another’s pleasure… and I cherish serving the will of a Goddess. 

13-JUNE-2026- STREET MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. My first in 14 months. So, having lived in the Dominican Republic for nearly 9 years, and being proposed to was a daily occurance for women, I am not unfamiliar with this. I had just left evening service, which as it is Saturday, makes it the Sunday Mass in advance. I was deep in thought all the way there and during Mass. It was from what I had read just before suddenly getting up and going. It turned out to be warm outside compared to the cold apartment. I was removing scarves and a jersey during Mass but still had my puffy waistcoat and Denim TrenchCoat on. The head scarf kept sliding off and as I felt it was a New Year for me, I left it down. Today is the 4th week since El's death. So the mourning period of Sholshim is over. There is peace in my heart. It started yesterday at about 4 am and has grown. Thanks I would say in part to some messages and conversations that remind me of the goodness in humanity. MAY His Peace be with you and with your spirit. Now back to my wink from My Master. He said "arise and go" and so " I arose and went". Bible reading today Acts 8. Later He said to Philip "Go near, and draw yourself to this Chariot." And Philip did. And the man said he desired Philip sit with him. As I had remembered the first part and only now read over the second again it makes me laugh at His Wink. After Mass I usually walk straight for a few blocks then turn right. Today I told the first street right. Two men sat on white plastic chairs, Dominican style. As I walked past they spoke to me. This is rare enough for me in London to stand out, so I stopped. Within 2 minutes I had the proposal. His exact words were "You smile makes my heart feel peaceful, marry me". Let me add here for you reading: "All the Glory to G-d." It is His Peace, not mine. Is it the slaves or the Master's ? It is not my Peace. If it was, why do I lose it? I smiled and said I will only marry a Catholic. Turns out they go to the Church I just left. My Parish is a bit closer to the flat. Then I said "you smoke and drink and I don't". Now the one chap became the dating app for his friend. Filling in his profile details. Age, marital status, occupation, and so on...I was looking skywards and saying "You are showing me You can do anything, anytime, anywhere." Laughing all the while. Jeremiah-App as I called him to his face was filling in more details as the proposer, S, was staring at me almost dumbfounded. It made me smile more. He was repeating the same thing over and over. It was J-app who asked for my name and number. I refused so J-app had to fetch pen and paper to give me his number, saying he would organise S and the coffee date. I kept smiling at G-d and them. J-App was working hard to match-make for his friend. S was now saying he would cook for me and be a good husband and give up smoking. They are both African and I have eaten often at church functions. Delicious food. The congregations around her are 90% African, then Philippino and some salt sprinkled. (White folks). Then S took my hand and gently pulled me to sit on his left knee. J-App was quick to intervene and stop it. S was crest-fallen. In August a total stranger had put a ring on my finger in the shop across the road from those chairs and he had said "you not available ", stepped into the sunshine with his brother and still speaking in French, said "somewhere in heaven angels are rejoicing right now". Repeated it, and was gone. That was straight from My Master telling me to focus on my conversion and El's cancer journey. I had also just left church, in deep peace, having spoken to the father there. So I know the correlation between the state of my heart and how others interact with me and His Hand in it all. I look the same. I wear a uniform. All my clothes are identical. Always the same outfit, just fresh ones. I am told I look like Mary Poppins when I carrymy huge brolly. All the way there, I kept thinking about Philip. When he was told to "arise and go " he didn't say "I need to finish backing up my computer" or "let me have my supper first " or "how about tomorrow, it suits me better ". He arose and went. As for obedience, this site should understand that. It part of my daily prayer: Faith, Hope Charity, Humility, Chastity, Poverty, Obedience.(Catholics will understand). In other words, it means to not ask why or when or how. My Master has many ways of telling me what He wants, other than stirring my heart. His Word is read each day. Messages from complete strangers online or in person, quoting The Word, and then sometimes a park bench meet up with strangers and we share testimonials or scripture. It varies. It also comes in negatives. Those are from people who are not positive towards me. So they will push me verbally or even poke fingers into me and I then have two options: push back or let it happen. Acts 8 today was about the lamb who did not answer back to his shearers "so opened he not his mouth". It is hard but I do my best, especially with El's mother and sister when they get their bony fingers into me. But today is a beautiful blue sky after many days of on-off rain. Warm after the cold. A BEAUTIFUL DAY. It made me want to come back and Listen to Freddie sing it. The last song he sang. His friends recorded a few words at a time and then built the song later. Our lives are like that. If someone only hears a tiny part of a life, they don't hear the full song. You all don't know my song, but it is all for His Glory, and once He has orchestrated it too completion, I will be His complete creation..little creature that I am.(Today in the homelie the priest said that every Tom, Dick and Harry is called to the harvesting. I love African priests. They don't mince their words. ) So maybe my little heart felt moment with two men sitting in the warm April weather, is part of the harvest? I cannot see the full song, but I knew my few lines for today. The Master never gives the Full picture. Always just what information or order is needed for right now, is supplied. Yes, I do not go to all coffee dates offered to me, I get a fair amount of them. I don't know if I will WA J-App or not? The number is in the kitchen. I told them I was on a dating App. None of this is not about them. It is about My Master showing me He doesn't need an App to move me and my life radically in a new direction. After all, He brought me back to the UK last year. Each day when I leave the building, I ask that He put people in my path He wants me to interact with. ( I word it differently, as I let it free flow each time.) If he wants me to meet them again, He will organise it. He does that. Some people I see over and over in the most unusual locations. I take note. Crossing paths regularly is not a coincidence....Peace, over and out. 

Kids dog was trying to cough something up and was acting really odd. Called the vet for an emergency trip. Turns out it was a good thing. The dog has Gastric dilatation-volvulus (GDV) and is having emergency surgery UPDATE  Dog is ok, $1,500-$2,000 out to the vet who did surgery at midnight. Doggie is home sleeping it off. Poor poor baby though, looks so sad. The vet and her hubby had to carry her out to my car and she weighs just under 100 pounds. We however could not carry her in the house. After a lot of gently leading got a sleepy dog into the home and into her bed. Poor thing was still so out of it, she pooed over herself and had to have an outside cold bath at like 5 am. Poor Poor puppy

== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==100% Degradee100% Masochist100% Rope bunny100% Slave100% Submissive95% Experimentalist94% Voyeur91% Exhibitionist82% Primal (Prey)80% Pet49% Non-monogamist15% Vanilla10% Owner8% Primal (Hunter)0% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger0% Ageplayer0% Brat0% Brat tamer0% Degrader0% Dominant0% Little0% Master/Mistress0% Sadist Limits only illegal things

Once I learned how to "shop for Fem" I became a ShopAholic! Could go every day to look for another new female garment. I even found myself buying 2 and 3 of the same just because the fabric and print turned me on so much.   Wearing these cute fem, girlie girl skirts and dresses and girdles and garter belts and opaque thigh high nylons and pantyhose just drives me crazy  horny! Being so turned on with the pastel colors and cute prints for myself makes me know how I would like to dress another CD Gurl for Sexilicious encounters.

It has been ages since I have been on this site so it will take me a bit to get used to the way this is set up. Kink: I am dominant, and am drawn to 24/7 Master/slave relationships with TPE, though I am not opposed to Dominant/submissive dynamics. In my head I think some of my tastes can be a bit extreme, I am well aware after all this time in this community that it is really just a matter of one's perspective, and I am down right vanilla in comparison to some. Other writtings and a more complete fetish list can be found on my FetLife profile. My interests include, but are not limited to: Anal Bimbofication Bathroom control Chastity Enemas Fisting, both vaginal and anal Humiliation Lactation Rimming Rough use S&M Toilet slavery Watersports Health: I get tested between partners, and when I am in poly relationships I get tested when it seems prudent depending on circumstances. I have both varieties of Herpes, and though I have not had an outbreak for over 5 years to the best of my knowledge, this is something potential partners should be aware of.  At my current age of 62 it might not be a surprise the I can have issues from time to time with erectile dysfunction. This is not an issue for me as I have always enjoyed using toys etc. and find a multitude of ways of enjoying myself.  I have for the last 2 1/2 years been dealing with PPPD which makes it seem as if the world is alway rocking 24/7 and leaves me with brain fog among a litany of other side-effaspects.   Other than these delightful tidbits I am healthy and in a shape.

hii sorry to interupt if we have already been talking and perhaps "planning" on getting together i just felt this is a pretty important piece i must mention generally to anyonoe who visits my profile    first thank you if its ur first time on my profile :) heeehe  repeat offenders i well come anytime i love the attention id love to be ur piece of eye candy Heeehe which  i do got more pics but havent uploaded due to the delay that happens and i cant reallly offord a delay since im using this as my main source to escape ... thank you collarspace ;) please dont disappoint    okk so feminization the process which ive started and learned how much more i enjoy life as so. i began HRT and was shocked on the results and conviced this is exactly who im supposed to be :)  i was scared to fully flourish when i started since ii was still living at home.. mom; her druk dumb fukin BF; and my little borther. you could see why i was intimidated to allow HRT gracefully.... i was on and off of it,id say maybe 4months yes, then 4 months no. then 2 months yes. then 3 months no. then 1 month yes then mile stone; family fell apart.... hurts but they hurt me literally no reason.. i was caught in the crossfire of his drunk ass running outta beer money every week blamed me always went throught my stuff, talked shit about my panties would often throw away my CUTEST jean or the combination of cloths that blended my image so amazingly it would allow anyone; who saw me, immedatly know i was a sissy BUT NOT JUST ANY SISSY ;) --yeah would thow that out. iIt happed A LOT but like twice on my most cuties most amazing look that brought confidence and lust lol. okay so my "familly" offically fell apart about 45 to 65 days ago i think give or take ... it occured in about a two week hostile setting. which i wanted no part of because it originated between THEM!! yes i had nothing to do with it i even stayed away from home for days on end to let them deal with their own bullshit... however, out of the maybe 4-6 days that i did come back, cuz jesus i was tired of being out there! somehow the arguments were about me... saying i dont work i dont pay rent --- like umm excuse me ?? dont pay rent? ------------------------------{{{{oooo i love this song}}}--------  k sorry, where was i     --dont pay rent??? then hand me a bill..... nothing ... repeated bout 4 times and still no bill .. i HAD moneyi just wasnt gonna had it to them so he can turn around and just get more beer...  i did everything expect around the house AND MORE  spacifically to prevent any turmoil since yes i didnt pay rent BUT NOT cuz i couldnt lol ... no bill no rent stupid drunk [[[im sure i got completely off my main point but god i feel so good to vent i dont have anybody right now]]] yes totall off topic if your still reading dang i appreciate your intrest in me lol *blush blush      ok i remember what this topic was supposed to be about lol soo sorry went completey right field.. yes right field cuz im left handed >:P lol    i becan this journal entry cuz i wanted to inform those who have a chance in owning me at the moment their a 3 im considering witch one i just hope will be the right choice  fingers crossed   so this as ALL ABOUT FEMIZATION ohh and the whole artical up there does have a good purpose  When i began taking hormons, the fluxuation of on off onn off if you notice the ended with with 1 month on following a 3 month halt.... if you think about the proceess of my feminity you can picture about where im at in my appearance .... BUT WAIT IM NOT UGLY haha  im not ill thow a pic of me rn or send in a message cuz i dont wanna have to do that waiting period this website impliments uppon profile updates. sooooooo when i finally went back to see my doctor to FINALLY GET MY HORMONS again... stupid governer Desantez signed a bill that took into effect just the day BEFORE my appointment making it SUPER SUPER HARD not just for minors to get gender reassingment medication! my doctor straight up told me no! she will not give me my hormons because xyz...i was planning on getting a 4 month batch after explaining to her i was leaving florida to focus on myself and my tranisition... lol more like to focus on YOU and my transititon heehee ;)   theirs more to this but i chose not to disclose due to risk of prejudgmental dissisions, id say about 93% of you WILL MAKE regardless if you, think ur so mature or what not..   ((lol prejudgmental is that even a word? hahaha idk but sounded good there ;))   ** ooo i just notice my spell check wasnt doing its job... crap im sure when i reread this im gonna have to delete it dammit  enjoy the read and the insite of my current situtaion stay safe out there and masters/mistress/..potentual sissy owners.... [iSeeKu]  

1. In your first message don't say something like. " Hi how are you doing?" and that is your only message/words.  I won't even answer that. Be more upfront.  2. Please understand here is what I am NOT looking for    A. Not looking for someone that is married   B. Not looking for a weekend here and there   C. Not looking for someone that drinks, smokes and addicted        to drugs. (herb is ok)   D. Not looking to change your diapers   E. Not looking for attention seekers or someone high           maintance   F. Not looking for someone that is new and looking for     someone to train it (unless your ready to go full in)    G. I'm not a Pro and I'm not looking to play games.   H. Not looking for someone that isn't willing to better themselves   I. In general I'm not looking for a city person that is afraid to get dirty.    J. I'm not " needy " I'm more interested in finding a service slave/sub.   K. I'm not interested in seeing your ass pictures.  I'll probably add more to this list later. But HOPEFULLY you read this and don't bother writing if ...your not what I'm looking for. I try to make things simple and to the point.  p.s. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A DOM.  I PROMISE YOU I WILL NEVER BE YOUR SUB OR SLAVE. I'm not an egotistic person and I do my share of what needs to be done around here. I  believe in harmony. 

You say You are concernedwhen i say i am corneredin my thoughts, craftedby cornerstones of my sinsand demons and shadows.You say it is cold in herewhen i say the fire still claimsthe corners of our house.You say You are going for a walkwhen i can't even find a door.You say i need to be tucked inwhen i am concerned about Younever returning, taking myheart with You tucked awayand forgotten in Your pocket.You say that time will heal mewhen i say that this time wasmy last time, for this life time.You say i will be just finewhen i say you are my world.-dirtydarling

      The Democratic Dom: While it might sound like an oxymoron this Dominant is one who controls by agreement. Limitations, conditions, safe words, and times & places are all agreed upon beforehand and strictly adhered to.  Discussions between the Dom and sub are the norm and written contracts are not unheard of.     Punishment is both a training tool and very often a reward. It is dispensed by the Dom to achieve or reinforce a certain behavior in his sub and at the same time as a pleasurable (sexual) stimulation for the sub. While both punishment and reward may be two distinct areas in the relationship, many times the lines .     Submissives who are attracted to these situations are those who want the same agreed condition and especially the limitations. They can be called feisty, bad little girls, spoiled, hard to tame, because they like to challenge the limits and/or rules. Or because they have certain fears.     This can be a game area where fun supersedes the Dominant/submissive operative. The Dominant and submissive like the actual and varied activities and enjoy each other when participating in them. In many cases the submissive does not actually want to surrender but likes playing as if she does.     These relationships seem to be less long term, as this is the area where “thrill seekers” usually reside. Many like this type of situation since it is a convenient and safe way to play with D/s. It is fun and it makes it easy to feel like they are indeed practicing D/s. These same people while enjoying D/s related scenes are not as into the emotional side of dominance and submission as are others.     On the other hand this type also serves a very good purpose, acting as a safe passage into other variations of D/s, or for learning, especially among those who are doing this for the first time with someone new, or they are trying it for the first time ever. After some experience is gained in D/s activities these people begin to learn the “rules of the road”, so to speak. Sometimes leading to a more intimate and stronger D/s relationship.      

New Kink Unlocked! She told me on the phone... You invite me in and walk me back to your bedroom. You order me to strip and to get on the bed in a doggy position. You are still clothed and slide a blindfold over my eyes. I can hear the shuffle of clothes as you disrobe and feel your weight shift on the bed behind me. Your fingers slide between my legs and can feel how wet the anticipation has made me. And then I gasp as you slide the length of your cock into my pussy, feeling your size for the first time. It has been quite a while since I was last with anyone and you are surprised by how tight I am. You grab my hips and begin fucking me from behind. You tell me that I am just a dirty cum dump and that my only job to take the fucking you feel like giving me. Your rhythm quickens and I can feel you filling me with your cum. But you don't pull out, and I feel your hands spreading my ass cheeks apart. You feel my pussy twitch as you rub my asshole with your thumb. You tell me another part of being your dirty cum dump is to take your cock in every hole. You tell me that you are going to fuck me in the ass and that I'm going to take your load there as well. You squeeze some lube on me and begin working in your finger to prep the hole. You ask me where your cock is going and I tell you "my ass sir." You "And why is it going into your ass?" Me "Because I'm your cum dump and my job is to take you cock in any hole you choose." Your cock has gotten hard again inside me and your fingers have lubed up my hole. You pull your cock out and I then feel your head pressing against my asshole. You lean your weight forward and over me, whispering in my ear to relax and take it as you slowly slide your full length into me. I feel so full and the size of you initially feels impossibly large. You give me a couple second to adjust to your size before you start a slow, gentle rhythm. You feel feel my body accept your and tell me "I'm going to fuck you faster now," and I feel a spike of nervousness as I already feel pushed to my limit of intensity. You are fucking me a bit harder and tell me that I'm doing a good job taking your cock so you are going to give me an orgasm. One hand reaches below me and starts playing with my clit... palm pressing perfecrly. The other hand reaches around and finds a nipple to pinch and squeeze. Your touch sends me over the edge, forcing me to cum hard on your cock. You cum as well, my orgasm essentially milking your load from your cock. You tell me I was a good cum dump and did my job well. I love it when you praise me for being a good toy. You roll me to my side and your mouth finds my tit as you finger me again with your fingers. You have me keep the blindfold on as we cuddle for a bit. Then I clean you and get ready for bed... wanting to sleep in your arms... but also thinking, worrying? wishing? you will take me in the middle of the night.

Property.  Noun. 1. A thing or things belonging to someone; possessions collectively.  2. An attribute, quality, or characteristic of something.  I, am property. I don't always behave that way, but I should, because that is what I am. Master is a saint for how much patience he's had with me. Property doesn't have a say or an opinion. No voice, nothing. Change is not easy for me. To my brain it signals that there's a threat, danger, or that my world is going to be upended. I don't really know what to do with change, and abrupt change? Forget it. My brain either goes into full meltdown or fight mode. There is no in between. To be calm during changes means a meltdown later. Because I'm only calm outwardly. Inwardly I'm screaming for something to be the same, anything. Even a small thing. Master is that one thing. When my brain is screaming, he's there, steadfast and strong, unyielding and sure. I am his property. I don't get a say anymore. But I do get protection, care, and a Master who has always been there since day one. I'm property. A thing. His thing. Whenever, wherever, however he wants. His.  I am not looking for a response to this. I'm posting so that I can come back and read it when I need to. 

How Manipulation Begins I had begun conversing with a gent a few days ago. He asked me how my night was or some conversation starter.  I dont typically respond to  emails with no photos, but thought I'd take a chance (in other words, I thought it was safe to let my guard down.)  It was midnight and I was getting  ready for bed.  He stated he wanted to continue chatting , at a later date.  I sent him my Google number if he wanted to text freely.  🚩I didn't receive a goodnight text, which automatically let me know he's a ghost. He's clearly scamming or cheating.   In his response, he states wants to get to know me.  However, he wants to "spoon til morning--that's creating s false sense of intimacy. This is why you need to pay attention, regardless of gender.    His follow-up was just as manipulative.   He didnt apologize for sending mixed signals,  nor did he take responsibility for the confusion.    Be Safe Out There!   I was not ignoring you my dear beautiful Miss, I was search for my archives of pictures so I could share another one with you. Thank you for your number I hope you don’t mind but given the vulnerability I feel in sharing pictures can we keep the correspondence here until and longer friendship is formed. I hope you don’t mind this. And of course I was always going to say goodnight sweet Miss. How much I would love to change now into something satiny and spoon you till morning  

She's headed out to meet her client for a training session.  What time are you coming home I ask.  A couple of hours she says.  I put your drinks on the top shelf in the fridge so you can get them easier.  Ok be careful and remember your situational awareness I tell her.  Okay!  She replies.   I watch her get into her car and take the top down.  She looks into the mirror to check her makeup.  She puts on her sunglasses and drives away.   I go to the fridge and I see a post it note on my protein drink.  I'll bring food on my way back, love you! It says. I look around and everything reminds me of her.  I take a few sips.  This one tastes like chocolate.  I sit down on my brown leather club chair and do some reading.  

I wrote this "Story"   My First Pain Pig I'm a Service Dom. My Dungeon is my playroom, to create pleasurable sensations. I was mid 20's, living the bachelor dream, whoring in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I landed an ok job with Hilton Hotels after graduation. The French Quarter bars stayed open 24/7. It was a place you partied every night. How I survived, 14 New Orleans Mardi Gras is beyond me, they were all real benders, lasting 3+ days. I lived 1/2 Block off Bourbon Street, it doesn't get better than that. It was at Beer Bust Sunday at The Parade Disco, it was 1982 or so. To drum up LOCAL business, The Parade Disco, had a "Tea Party" a beer bust all the beer you could drink from Sunday 5PM until the Kegs went dry. I'm having a "tea party" beer, and a girl walks up to me and asks why I'm dressed in black leather, am I into BDSm? I told her I'm a "leatherman" I like power-exchange, I like to lead, direct, command, suggest. She asked if I enjoyed spanking a girl, and I said yes, and I liked using my belt as well,. We danced, and drank a few beers, and kept chatting. So she grabs my hand and pulls me to the outside balcony, where folks, can actually hear each other talk since the music inside the bars is always loud.. She tells me her friend Freddie whose into BDSm has talked about me He says your known as a fun sadist. He told, me the rumor is, your a creative sadist.. I replied, something like. I'm a service top, I get off when we both get off. I do love mind fucking folks. Could you make me feel and endure pain? Not continuous relentless pain, but Intermittent shearing flashes of pain like strikes from a thin stick, the sting of the hand, or the thud of the belt? I asked, if she had done anything like this before? No, she just listened to all the hot stories her friend Freddie told her, of being a masochist. At some point, I said My safe word is FROG. Say the safe word and she repeated FROG. Good, I also use a safe gesture. I will squeeze your hand TIGHTLY and shake it, you squeeze my hand 2 times, in reply, This reply tells, me all is great, with you. If you fail to give back 2 quick squeezes I will end our playtime. The conversation went something like that, dam, when you get old, sometimes you just got to fill in details you forgot. I pointed from the Parade Disco's Balcony, Thats where I live across the street 800 feet away, the green shuttered walkup apartment.. She said, lets go to your place and play, make me feel real pain. Let me, tell a friend, I'm going to your apartment and I will call them to get picked up later. We walked hand in hand to my apartment. I opened the door to a typical French Quarter "Shot-Gun" apartment, like a boston row house, 25 feet wide and 60 feet long. The living room in front, a half wall jetty between the living room and the small kitchen. A Hallway the first door, the bathroom on the left, the door at the end of the hall, my bedroom and playroom. I had just finished building my "Playroom" I nick named "The Erection Set". (see my profile for photos) I think, my super-power, as a dom is creativity. I think, I give a good mind-fuck. My first rule as a dom was tie them up, to experience the reality of giving up control. Any act of bondage, is a reality of submission, physically felt and experienced. I had a pro-domme "friend" that I would occasionally drink with, at Jewel's Tavern, a Gay Leather Bar. Dex ,loved telling stories of here recent clients. I learned a lot from Mistress Dex! Maybe the most important thing she ever said, Hugo people don't come to Pro-Domme, looking for sex. If submissive's wanted sex they would go to a call girl. Submissives come to a domme to live out a fantasy. The key to a good scene is, living out a fantasy inside a submissives head. That BDSm lesson about Fantasies, was the best lesson I was ever given. The second best lesson Dex shared: Start a BDSm scene extra slow and build up a scene slowly to a climax. I had an established routine, in dom mode, have submissives undress, tie them to the st andrew cross or some other object, like in a chair. Next, introduce sensation play, running my hands everywhere on my tied up subs body. I would take sensation play to the next level, by adding a blindfold, not knowing where I might touch, pinch, pull next. Clothes Pins, are my absolute favorite toy. I have done scenes, with 100s of clothes pins, pinching everywhere on a submissives body. Ear Lobes, Lips, nipples, breasts, inner thighs, nose, the clit, cunt lips, any flap of skin. Clothes Pins are a great beginner activity. Clothes Pins are a great assessment tool as to how much pain a submissive can tolerate, as clothes pins build up pain slowly. I like starting, clothes pin play, with the breasts, many women have sensitive breasts and nipples, plus they can see the clothes pins, the object of pain tormenting them. This is about the time, I light up a cigar. Domination and smoking a cigar seem to go hand in hand for me. I do enjoy, Hot Ash Play. I know, I had 300 clothes pins on her body and she was feeling it but, not moaning or whimpering She wasn't even close to her limits. I like to flick off clothespins, using a cop or ruler or something similar object. I usually progress to Wax play because wax play looks painful, but isn't. Wax play is truly, a great erotic sensation play activity. Its about this point I asked, her to repeat what she came here to experience. I want pain sir. My massage table,doubled as my bondage table, I tied my sub face down, like in a position for a back massage. I would use, rope, saran wrap, tape, straps, to secure a submissive to the massage table. Hand Spankings, are probably the lightest form of corporal punishment. Then, the ruler, belt, fly swatter, rod, hair brush, next in intensity over a hand spanking, next would be the wooden spoon and paddle in pain or intensity, and in my opinion the cane is the most feared implement, used on the ass. . I got to a frat paddle. I think, my sub liked the belt the best, as she seemed to thrash about a bit. She stayed silent as she took the paddle usually a sign that there isn't a lot of eroticism going on. I want a sub moaning, mumbling, swearing, shaking, that tells me they are having a good time. I remember, it was this moment. I did the "CHECK-IN" hand squeeze. I got 2 quick firm hand squeezes back telling me she with me, "all ok". I asked her what she wanted now. What she wanted, was to be used like a hole. To FILL AND OVER FLOW her senses. To feel totally fucked and exhausted. I knew what she needed, she needed to be fisted, to have her cunt stretched out, rubbed raw. In the French Quarter leather community, I was known, as the Dom that enjoyed fisting and handballing. Back in the 1980's vaseline was the fisting lube of choice, crisco if you were handballing. Now, the cool part, when this happened is my playroom was already semi-functional, I had a sling. (see profile photos to see a sling) If your into fisting or handballing you know someone's intensely into fisting, they own a sling. Using a sling, your in a OB/GYN examination table. position, perfect access.