MadnessPBM

Next march my life will change for good.

I will finnaly left my vanills life to enter totally on the bdsm world. 

In trying to have a new home if possible a house instead of a duplex. More intumacy less neighborhood. More place.

And maybe a real dungeon instead of a bdsm room.

I still cab search for a sub or slave to live an intense and powerfull life, but i will still need to wait march to start anything... 

Switzerland is good to live yes, but like i said before its the worst place to find kinster like you. 

When i will move to my new home i will start a community there, because from what i saw there kinkster there but no community. 

Munch and play will restart at my home again but this time no problem accepting erotic or sexual kinks during. 

Unfortunatly before i couldnt because of the puritanism of my ex GF. 

I hope things will go well. 

switzerland is limited. by what?

yes we have a healty system, good finances, gorgeous places, multicultural food and here its very clean.

but our bdsm comunity is....small, only 2 principal places lausanne on the center switzerland and zurich on the north.

most of the kinkster are spreaded around the country not knowing other ways than classified website. rare knows fetlife..

no one know website like this one.

if youre lucky and do shibari or even soft bdsm you can find youre partner or even more.

but if youre like me with a lot of kinks, more passionate, curious and creative, your unfortunate...

you will need to be very pacient or...search outside...

then the only way is to find person who can relocate themself, and this type of person are rare.

because a lot want your money/scam, others prefer only online, or even you can find fantaisist person searching only to excite themself and when things turn real they stop.

thats tiring and difficult to filter all this mess, ive been thinking for a long time but for me switzerland is not a good place for bdsm, theres a lot of countries better like USA, germany, france but only in paris, ive been thinking if asian country have better community too, like china, korea or even japan.

i hope someday i will find someone diversified like me to like a total lifestyle.

How to have limit if you didnt find your own limit(retoric question)

I take myself for an exemple. Im actually a variated person, wich have too much kinks i did, want to do, want to experiment.

But my biggest problem is on my speciality,

Sadism!

I never find the bottom, i can fall soo much, the the hole is too much profund...

Then how i can know, how far i would go ?

Simple.

I adapt myself to the limit of the other.

And if she/he didnt discovered it, i just gradually descent.

Actually people i knew have short hard limit, its easy to adapt.

Some time im a little scared about one day i find someone like me, because, im difficultly shocked about things.

Then the only limit i will put is law and security limit, no amputating or things i cant control, if for me i can put my partner to a state of death i will not doing this.

I cant control the blood loss, im not doing this.

Permanent loss of important part of body, its depend but most part i will not doing this.

Im not a chirurgical doctor, i dont have the skill and surely mess up all.

Resulting to a critical state of no return.

A limit is here to prevent all of this.

If the other dont have limit, your duty is to create one youself to prevent critical situation. 

Oh my sadism !! 

Today im creating another thinking.

Why ?

Because im litterally and profundly agitated,  someone activated my mind, giving me a pleasure more than an orgasm, creativity !

And into this universe, its delightfull.

Im a psychological person you know.

Mind transcend all pleasure.

Its addictive and soo rare to find people like me, maybe theyre just hidden, or ephemeral.

Thats why i taste every part of my discussion.

Ironically, i have all my tasty favorite toys for suffering but i dont have anybody to play...

Sadly i will sleep today with a little frustration into my little warm heart.

Sincerely

Madness 

what about kinks?

a lot of people are only spécialised in only one thing, or just have interest on 3 or 4 things at most.

im spécialised only on sadism, but, what is sadism? 

sadism can take a lot of form, and to understand what a person love and why, you need to understand what gave him interrest in this.

for myself, i like sadism because i have fascination about it, im litterraly in urge to find a new trick to gave pain, i have a huge curiosity about a lot of thing, and im very creative, this define my sadism.

why i have fascination about it?

take an exemple,  totally out of this.

when you see an abandoned build, you can see the plants growing, maybe how much time its on this state, the building certainatly was beautiful before but now declining.

a person is the same, when she/he came first the state is good, and i will work to change it, to corrupt/deprave it into another state.

the difference is a person turn into the first state again, and again, given you the possibility to do it differently, finding another way, maybe better, maybe even if you didnt thought about before.

that's my way of sadism.

but yes i concede, i like to hear scream, sound of pain too.

like i said before my fascination about this include the visual and the touch, when i finish my session i like to see all the changes, and touch it, swelling, bruises, sensing the heat of the body.

and when they come again, i know again this time will be different...

my first entry since i created my account.

Its only a thinking about how much difficult to have a relationship with a person, normally its already difficult with vanilla, because you have the choice of saying your "truly desire" or just lie, like a lot of other kinkster.

I did the first because i dont like to lie, trust is important, even if after this will be difficult.

Then if youre lucky like me your vanilla romance can be transformed into a kinky romance.

But ahaha, luck with me came only in half, she liked the kinky community but shes a dom and.. im a dom.

Then having sub, slave and partner play came really fast to us, but the problem is... 

I can releave my desire of spanking, doing general sadism, experiments this with her with complicity but..

Sexual desire, humiliation, degradation and dicipline/domination i can't! because both of us are dom!

If the person beside you is a kinky person this can be helped but if that not the case, youre doomed!

After 8 years of relationship, we will broke, not because we dont love each others but because of the path we need to take separatly.

Being a kinkster if you didnt find a person to walk with you at this long life and with the same desire, same way of living, some time this will broke or you will broke.

make the good choice, and assume it. only like this you will never regret it.