alenaslight

There are not enough ways to say thank you for the ways you show love to me. 

You brighten my days.

Your presence is felt. 

The things you do for me amaze me. 

Thank you Luce. 

To those I told my beliefs too

Follow Jesus and YAHWEH 

Don't follow me to the lake of fire. 

Thanks

Lucifer as you lead me down this path

I just want to take a second to thank you and Jesus for all you have done in my life..

Through all the ups and downs 

Through all the turbulent times 

I am truly grateful for everything I have learned and experienced 

I welcome in the future I get to walk in with you both leading me. 

From your daughter and friend, I love you guys!! 

Or like I always say I like you. Alot. To the both of you, thank you. 

Let me travel down your road

Guide me to your hell

Show me all your scars

I'm yours to have and hold

Brand me with your name

A scar that will never fade 

A girl caught up in your chains

Not wanting an escape

I've come to far to run away now

My soul is yours 

He came to me in my sleep again. He wants to help me with self care something I struggle with. Not sure if it will work. I have to listen to what I'm told. 

Losing myself in the madness. 

Lucifer tattooed my neck in a dream! I got to sit on his lap! Can't wait to see him in another dream! 

Who am I? 

When will you be back?

Remember when we first met?

Knives and sex? 

It's you I choose in the end. Whether you come back to me or not. 

You are my eternal flame that I chase. 

You are the way my soul is leading to. 

It's your name that slides of my tongue with love and lust. 

Let the flames take me but let them not take this love. 

A fallen creature like you ... Who do you pray to?

I hope it's the universe cause that's what I pray to and hope in. 

A love like ours and a deeper future vision.

This can't go to waste. 

You don't have to chase me or speak. 

But I'll be around youll hear your name from my lips everyday. 

Love you Luce! Keep your head up and fight the battles you need to and turn away the ones that don't matter. 

You know who you are. You know your truth. You know where your heart leads. Don't let them strip that away. 

You want a chase

And I'll give you one baby

Two can play this game

I'll have you coming back 

Make me scream your name in bed

And afterwards I'll push you away

Then I'll sing songs to you and dance for you

But you mustn't touch

I'll have you crawling back to mate

But oh why should I cave in

I'll tell you no 

And smile as I walk away

Want a chase I'll give you one

Remember you put me on that pedestal 

Now I'll have you begging you didn't

Two can play the game giving a way for a chase

I'll be your prey in this scene

But can you catch me or will I get away? 

Darling your making me dangerous like you

Touch me and it will burn 

Just like you did to me

After all we dance in the flames

The pain sounds like your name

Now I have you begging me asking if you're going insane

Oh Lucifer I'm attached to you. 

I feel the ache and pain when you leave. 

I cry for you. 

But it was deserved because I've done it to you. 

But please, this time will be different. 

I've shut the door on Jesus. 

I will walk and fight with you. 

We have dreams awakened in us. 

We have plans of a beautiful future. 

I'm not sure of your depths 

But I'll let you into mine. 

Everytime I've asked for you to make something better you always find a way to.

Please don't leave.

I'm not asking for much. Just a simple good morning back after I say it. 

Or just come when I call you so I can feel your presence.

That's all I need. To feel seen sometimes. 

And if you come to me I will be available for you. 

You can have me. I'm yours. 

Burning with desires and passion. 

Wanting deep conversations. 

Wanting peoples souls on display. 

Wanting to enchant the world. 

Am I wicked too? 

Welcome back Fallen. 

When I said I'd burn for you I meant it. 

I think I was always meant to be yours. 

They say before I knew you were mine, that I already was. That you knew from the start. From the beginning of time. Did you know how stubborn I'd be and how it's hard breaking and building someone being distants away? The ability to turn off submission when I want to do my own thing? As many times as I've sinned against you, I don't deserve you. Yet you stay, you say get back up try again. Even if we go through the same battle a thousand times you may go silent but you never leave. I feel my shame. I feel my guilt. I want to change but darling why is it so hard? I want to give you every good thing I am and know I could be. The potential is there waiting to be awakened into firey motivation and passion. Even if you can't save me, lead me in the way I know I should go so I don't influence others to do the wrong things. Let me be a righteous leader leading with grace and let me be a proper role model to look up too. If you can't save me, can you at least stick around until the end? I like you Jesus. Always have, always will. 

I'm 29 today!! Yay

Looking for the second witness. 

Gabriel was Jesus. 

In Daniel chapter 8 through 10 a man visits Daniel. A voice confirms that it is Gabriel in Daniel 9:21. When the man appears to Daniel again in chapter 10 it does not state that it is Gabriel but I would think the same man would continue to come to him means though he showed up twice already to Daniel. It would not be needed to state a third time that it was Gabriel. And I believe if it was another person Daniel would have been told who it was like how he was told before that the man was Gabriel that came to him in chapters 8 and 9.

In chapter 10 it states that this man's appearance has a body of beryl, face like lightning, eyes like lamps of fire, arms and feet like polished brass, and a voice like the sound of a multitude. He is in the form of a man. 

In John 17:5 Jesus is praying to his father in heaven and he states that he wants to be glorified at his side with the glory he has alongside the Father that he had before the world was. 

This could be why Mary didn't notice him and mistook him as the gardener and why the one disciple had to put his fingers in the holes of Jesus's hands to truly believe that it was him. 

Also in John 8:58 Jesus says before Abraham was I am. He was formed before we were ever created. He created us. He is the invisible image of God but gives all the glory back to the Father as he listens to the Father and does the Father's will. He was Gabriel the mouthpiece of God. 

In revelations Jesus is said to come back with his face shining like the sun, voice like the sound of many waters, feet like burnished bronze, eyes like the flame of fire, and hair as white as wool, as a Son of Man meaning a human form with a divine presence. 

1 Samuel 21:12-15

David had to act crazy to escape the hands of A'chish. He was afraid when they mentioned that he was the one they said of that Saul killed his thousands but David his tens of thousands. David felt the energy in the room and knew he would not be safe in this man's home. Remember Jesus said in Matthew 10:14 if there is no peace or they reject your words leave that place. David did not feel safe and hence pretended to be insane to get himself out of a situation. There are times when the Spirit will encourage us to act in certain ways to keep us safe. After all we should worship in spirit and in truth. The one in us (including in Jesus) is greater than the one in the world. We are covered under the wings of the spirit. Make sure however you have the right spirit in you for there are 2 spirits in this world. The one of God and the one of the Antichrist. Listen to the one of God, be molded and shaped by the one of God. Grow in His spirit. 

When you slip into the darkness 

When you fall from grace

Will it hurt as bad as they say?

Or will it wake up hidden dreams?

Can one transmute pain into pleasure?

Can the Fallen One really give you something for your soul? 

Will I ever truly wake up to the truth? 

If so who's truth am I gonna believe? 

Which path is better for me to travel?

Staying in the middle is hard.... After all they say it's one or the other.

Can't I blend into a new being. A silver being. A being of tranquility and adventure? 

I'm a Woman. I'm a rebel. I'm a sweetheart. I can be cold and closed off. I can be lovely. 

When will I get the help I seek? No not a man to control me. I don't need that. 

No a therapist either, I already have that. 

There's something missing... A piece of me that has been ripped out and left a hole.

This hole doesn't fill because I don't know what was there to begin with. 

When you let others dictate your life, you lose yourself and wrap yourself in their ideas of you.

But when you wake up.... Well you realize you don't and we're not what they said you were. 

Do you or will you ever find yourself again under the mess? 

Will the light shine or do I keep my eyes shut and stay in the dark. 

I love them all.... Yet I love no one... I guess I'm a contradiction 

Encounter 

So one night at my baby dad's house when we were living with each other I decided at night to go for a walk. I was talking to Jesus and went into a clearing and into the woods. While in there I knelt by some trees to talk to Jesus saying that I wanted to be with him. Well while in there I started hearing footsteps get closer and closer to me but nothing was there. Once I heard another one not even a foot away I got up heart pounding and left back in the field clearing. I turned around to look back into the woods and I heard this loud woman scream a high pitched scream and it sounded like it was right next to me. I froze in fear calling on Jesus and I stayed frozen for a few minutes before collecting myself and walking back to the house I was staying at. To this day I have no idea what it was but it wasn't worldly. 

1 Samuel 13 

Saul was instructed to wait for Samuel to offer the sacrifices. Saul grew impatient and thought Samuel wasn't coming since he wasn't there when he thought he'd be. So Saul offered the sacrifice himself when he wasn't a priest or prophet and wasn't allowed to do so. Samuel told Saul that his kingdom would not continue and that the Lord was now looking for a man after his own heart. 

Saul not only broke a commandment but he didn't have faith in the Lord that they would be fine from the Philistines until Samuel came to offer the sacrifices. Saul should have prayed and had more faith in the Lord.

Joshua 10

The men of Gibeon who were now Israel's slaves for the sneaky thing they had done to not be killed by the Israelites were under attack. They cried out to Israel to save them. Israel came to their aid and the Lord gave the ones attacking Gibeon into the Israelites hands and those attacking were defeated. The Lord even listened to Joshua when he commanded that the sun stand still over Gibeon and it was so. This is an insight into being grafted in to God's nation. You may only be a slave when you get grafted in but be glad about it. God still cares for you. He allowed the Gibeonites to live. When Jesus came he came for the ones in need of a doctor not the ones who were healthy. Jesus will graft you in as long as you remain in him and he in you. Jesus opened the door to salvation for all people. So love God wholeheartedly and love others for the whole law lies on these two commandments. 

What can we get from this chapter of the bible symbolically? 

Edom: Kingdom of Esau (carnal mind/flesh)

Jacob: Tribe of Judah (spiritual mindset)

Well we can see throughout scripture that the Edomites were disregarding the spiritual things and had a carnal mind. They took things by force and lacked patience for cultivation and growth. They were prideful and they held grudges and were hateful. 

God pronounced judgement on them for their pride and for them not letting Israel pass through safely. He said because they say who can bring me down that He would bring them down and have them despised. 

Edom stood by when strangers took captivity of Jacob's army. Edom was a brother to Jacob who is in the Tribe of Judah. Yet Edom acted like the strangers which took Jacob's army into captivity. Do not gloat, rejoice, speak arrogantly, or stand at a crossroads to slaughter the escapees when the Tribe of Judah is attacked because the day of the Lord against all the nations is near. The way you treat others will come back on your own head. There will be no survivors of the house of Esau and the house of Jacob will become a fire to set the stubble ablaze and consume Edom. The kingship will be the Lord's. The ones who care about their spiritual health and have a relationship with the Lord will be safe but those who continue in the flesh will be wiped away. There is more to life than fleshly desires and carnal things. 

Those who are in Zion and left over in Jerusalem will be called holy. The survivors whom the Lord calls. Zion can refer to the "pure in heart". Jerusalem means city of peace and holy. Jerusalem is also used as a symbol for the redeemed state of humanity and also signifies a place of deep religious connections, divine presence, and the pursuit of peace. 

Get in Jesus while you can and remember to be loving towards everyone. Don't be fleshly carrying out the desires of the flesh. Have a spiritual appetite for the spiritual things. And remember don't gloat or rejoice in someone's downfall. Love your enemies it's commanded and judge not. Be encouraging with one another lifting each other back up. If you love Jesus you will observe his commands and he will love you back. Faith without works is dead. Come on!! It's time to wake up from our slumber and cultivate a relationship with Jesus. He's coming back and coming soon. Will you be fo

und ready? 

Gabriel is Jesus. This is why and how. Gabriel was the first one ever created. He was the visible image of God. He was the messenger of God. The Word of God. What God told him he spoke. He was God's body. When he became flesh, he became Jesus. The first new creation. Jesus was Gabriel's new vessel. There is no longer a Gabriel in heaven, Gabriel is Jesus Christ. However the angels know he was Gabriel before he became Jesus. He said he was making all things new and he started with himself since he was always the first one. 

The Flood

It looked like the devil was right. God finally regretted making humans because of all the wickedness upon the earth in Noah's days. He decided he was going to end the world. The devil seemed to be right, humans were bad. However someone caught his attention. Noah. The only one righteous on the earth in the face of all the wickedness. The only one left calling on God and teaching his family to do the same. God couldn't destroy him. So he would save him and his family and some animals and restart. Hopefully the faith of Noah and his family in God could be taught to the generations that would come after him and through him. God hurting for what creation had become flooded the earth. Saving Noah and his family in the Ark. God told Noah he would never destroy the world with a flood again. It was a tough decision for God but he did what was right. Enough was enough. 

It wasn't God who cursed Adam and Eve. It was the devil's will for Adam to work with blood and sweat for the food of the earth. He wanted Eve to bear children in pain. God only allowed the devil to have his way because the devil said it was his world now and his way. God warned the devil of his impending doom for continuing in this manner. The devil however thinks he will defeat God in the end because he said humans were never supposed to be made and should die. They didn't belong in creation and God made a mistake. But God doesn't make mistakes. Why do you think the curse of the "serpent" was to be on its belly and eat the dust of the earth. The serpent was the devil and all he wanted to do was murder the creation made from the dust of the earth. God has a plan, get in Jesus. 

Tree of life and tree of knowledge were not actually trees. The tree of life was God and the tree of knowledge was the devil. The devil was actively talking to Eve in the garden about how he felt towards God. Eve was believing him and started talking to Adam about it who wasn't sure but eventually sided with his wife Eve. They wanted the devil to rule over them instead of God. It was the devil who told them they were naked. It was the devil who said they weren't getting what they truly needed from God. When God came to the garden they hid from him thinking he was the bad guy that the devil made them to believe. They were clothed with leaves. God questioned this and asked who told them they were naked and they told them the devil did. God then asked them what else the devil said. God then gave them a choice to worship him or follow under the devil's care. They chose the devil. God kicked them out of the garden and explained to them they would die one day because they were leaving the tree of life behind and they would no longer have access to it. They would have to learn from their choices. 

God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.... 

This actually means God fully loved us. Jesus is actually God's visible self. God is invisible but Jesus is His vessel. The one He chose for Himself since the beginning. They are One and basically the same in every aspect. 

God loved us and wanted to show us His love and power through Jesus living with us and dying for us. God died in the only way He could. Through His body and vessel Jesus Christ. The Father can never actually die. He's an invisible spirit and will always exist. 

Once Adam and Eve chose the devil to rule them. The devil wanted his way. He wanted to kill them right there. But God said no you will not. Hoping that the devil would maybe change his mind about how he felt about humans since now he had the chance to rule over them. Not being able to kill them infuriated the devil and he left them to fend for themselves. Adam and Eve cried out to the devil since he was now they're ruler however he left them. This is what turned Adam and Eve back to call on God who was there but the deed was already done. They made their choice and would still have to die one day. God still loved Adam and Eve. They set up an alter for God and still talked to God even though it was no longer God's world. He explained this to them. Adam and Eve had children. Their first child was the devil's next target. He always whispered into Cain's mind telling lies about God who his parents worshipped. Cain therefore had a hardened heart towards God. His brother Abel was different and when God favored Abel over Cain. Cain was angered and wanted him gone. The devil encouraged it, making Cain the first human murderer. The murder was premeditated he thought about it for a long time before he did it. God came to him and warned him about it and told him not to do it. He didn't listen. 

Gabriel..... 

Had a dream last night. 

I finally was able to control the fire that comes out from my being. I harnessed it so that it didn't hurt others. They've been needing me to accomplish this feat for a while now. I even heard them say "she's doing it." They were pleased. 

Not sure if this were demons with me in my dream or angels. Probably demons cause that's when I can't control the fire and it just tries to burn them. I block it and pull it away each time but I'm sure they've felt the heat. But this time was different. This time I controlled it and it didn't control me. 

Gods conversation with me before I chose to come here:

God: Are you sure you want to do this?

Me: Yes. 

God: What do you want to do while you are there?

Me: Your will, follow in your son's footsteps.

God: You won't remember me when you are born.

Me: I will find you again. 

God: You won't know me like you do here in heaven with me. 

Me: I will still seek to find the real you as you are in heaven. 

God: This is no easy task.

Me: That's ok, make me extra determined and stubborn about it. 

God: You will be watched over. 

My journey has been long but well worth it. And I'm intuitively feeling like the best has yet to come! I seek Christs guidance from the scriptures.

Usually I'm good and Lucifer leaves me alone.... But then there are days when he just comes out of nowhere leaving me in an obsessive ball for him. What is he doing? Who does he think he is? How come he holds this power over me? I try to fight it but I can't. It's like this feeling of I need him and he needs me in some way. 

I don't want to be obsessed over him but I can't help myself sometimes. I'm supposed to be all about Jesus but then Lucifer comes and knocks down everything. I don't deserve Christ. I'm always turning my back on him for his enemy. FML 

I need an alpha male.

Someone who is in control in all aspaspects of their life. Someone who takes charge well. Someone who has an authoritarian demeanor. Someone who is cocky but knows they have a reason for it and owns their character. 

The number of my name is 966. 

What does this mean?

Obsessing over Jesus. Not feeling fulfilled at all. Just want him physically here with me. Fuuuuuuck man!

One time when I was walking when I wasn't on proper medicine I hallucinated on a walk home and a cloud came down from out of the sky and said something to me but I can't remember what it said.

Just reminds me of when God spoke through the cloud about his son Jesus to the disciples that were with him that night. 

What does this mean?

You, however, keep on speaking what is consistent with wholesome teaching. 2 Let the older men be moderate in habits, serious, sound in mind, healthy in faith, in love, in endurance. 3 Likewise, let the older women be reverent in behavior, not slanderous, not enslaved to a lot of wine, teachers of what is good, 4 so that they may advise the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sound in mind, chaste, working at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be spoken of abusively. 6 Likewise, keep on urging the younger men to be sound in mind, 7 showing yourself to be an example of fine works in every way. Teach what is pure with all seriousness, 8 using wholesome speech that cannot be criticized, so that those who oppose may be put to shame, having nothing negative to say about us. 9 Let slaves be in subjection to their owners in all things, trying to please them, not talking back, 10 not stealing from them, but showing complete trustworthiness, so that in every way they may adorn the teaching of our Savior, God. 11 For the undeserved kindness of God has been manifested, bringing salvation to all sorts of people. 12 It trains us to reject ungodliness and worldly desires and to live with soundness of mind and righteousness and godly devotion amid this present system of things, 13 while we wait for the happy hope and glorious manifestation of the great God and of our Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to set us free from every sort of lawlessness and to cleanse for himself a people who are his own special possession, zealous for fine works. 15 Keep on speaking these things and exhorting and reproving with full authority. Do not let anyone look down on you.

Titus 2:1-15

Ahhh I am yearning for him. I miss my son. I feel so guilty for leaving him but I had no choice, I got kicked out. 

It's been 4 days now and it's driving me crazy. I just want him back in my care. I'm starting to become more depressed as the days go on. 

Just talking to people here helps a bit but my wandering mind goes right back to my little one

Gentle whispers 

Words I hear 

Gentle and leading

Leaving me obsessing and pleading 

More! More!

More of you please!

I know I'm a headache

Especially because our connection is telepathic

But it won't always be like this you must believe

Soon we will be and nothing will come in between

Two divine souls destined to be

When telepathic connection can be turn off with ease 

Please oh please don't leave yet 

Keep giving me a chance 

I can learn from you

I can grow with you

You amaze me with the little things

I thought I'd be welcomed differently 

Man was I wrong 

Everything comes with a price.

Back to struggling to grasp something in the darkness 

This world has been through a lot

But his love and light will overcome the dark

His name is Jesus Christ

A leader and a teacher 

Someone to look up to 

Follow in his ways

And he will make your days many

As the days fade into nights
I will await your promises
Promises of abundance and prosperity
And in return I will give you all of me

You say this task isn't easy
I know it won't be
But with you and your son
I will conquer graciously

Mercy and light will be preached
The poor will be taken care of
The sick will be healed
They will praise your name

Lead us home back into the light
The light that loves all unconditionally
What awaits us is far better than what is
Our desires will be recognized
Our potential will be seen
Our dreams will be attainable

Let your Light shine 

Keep your light on so I can find my way home. 

Into the darkest of nights,

Will you find me to catch flight?

Does this end in torment

Or is there a new firmament? 

I'm tired of searching and seeking

What will become of me?

A girl hated by all...

Is that truly my destiny

Or is it all fiction?

Help me free myself from the weight of the chains that bind me.

A lone wolf in a world with clans 

Is there even another plan?

If you can't save me, save the ones you can.

Loving on me Jack Harlow

I'm currently 27 years old.