Iseek247owner

I had my 15 month post cancer treatment scope.  The one where they stick the scope up your nose then down in to your throat and look around to check if the tissue is still healthy and take pictures to see if anything has changed.  And it's all still good.  Nine months until I am past the most dangerous period for it to come back, but not totally out of the woods until 5 year mark.  Still getting stronger, except for my right shoulder.  Haven't had a dizzy spell in almost a month.  The effects of radiation can last up t about 18 months, so I am at 15 months and am almost starting to not feel like I'm 80 anymore.  Maybe going to the gym a few times a week and losing 20 more pounds has helped as well.  15 pounds to go to hit 160.  I haven't weighed 160 since I was in my 30s.  Can running my 6th marathon be far off?  A man has to have goals.  Maybe if the right woman was chasing me with a whip.....

Hello.  If you are a truly dominant woman or couple possessing high intelligence and integrity, I have a situation that may interest you. This isn't just about play or BDSM, I am offering a very well compensated job, as well as a life and a jump in lifestyle. Please read it all before you decide.  I know telling you I am real and this is legit is a waste of time because all the scammers say that.  Notice that my spelling and grammar are correct, and it's not a ridiculous offer, but very reasonable to the right dominant woman willing and able to accept it.

You can Google VA caregiver and VA caregiver stipend.  When you do, ONLY go to websites ending in dot gov.  Anything else is NOT a real government website, though they try to fool you into believing that they are.

I'm going to keep this to facts, because you will either be interested and want more details, or you won't be and there is no need for more info.  Please read about me in my profile and journal. I just learned, that because of my cancer and my recent disability rating increase, I will almost certainly be eligible to have a live in caregiver.  The VA compensates caregivers really well.  I can't mention numbers but you can find them in those URLs.  You would basically be helping me around the house with things which are difficult because of my disabilities.  By September I should be past all the side effects of the radiation so I won't need all that much help.  Which means you could go to school or work another job.  I will not give you a free ride.  I will expect you to pay something toward the upkeep of the house.  I will loan you the money for a car if you don't have one.

What I am seeking is a 24/7 domme to enslave me in a consensual non consent relationship.  Yes, that means you will need to relocate to Phoenix, AZ USA, because I can't relocate. I own a large, very nice home in a quiet, upscale middle class neighborhood.  But I'm only about 12 miles from downtown Phoenix.

I don't want a soft domme.  At least not all the time.  I need a domme with very dark desires and cruelty.  If you are new to BDSM or your own dominance, I can teach you to explore your darkness, dominance and cruelty, which the politically correct BDSM community could not and would not.  So inexperience is not an issue for me.  Nor do I seek monogamy or constant attention.  I would serve only you and anyone you told me to, while you could live your life any way you want to.  You can have other slaves, bulls, whatever you want.  And you get me for a slave.  I'm not weak and useless or a total asshole like most other male subs.  I will actually prioritize your happiness because that will make me happy.

That's it.  This is a description, not an offer.  We would not be able to start this until August at the earliest, so that would give us plenty of time to talk, work out details, etc.

If you are interested, and by that I mean that if you like the circumstances, you will follow through and actually do this if we connect on that level, then write me.  If you know you are not going to do it, then please feel free to ignore this, and I hope you find what you seek.

It's amazing how quickly your priorities change when death comes knocking on your door.  A couple months ago, it kicked my door down.  I found a tumor in my neck and it was cancerous.  And all of a sudden, all the plans I had, all the priorities, all the needs and wants which drove my decisions, all got pushed into the background, and my only need and priority became don't die.  This is a really nasty cancer.  Both because the treatment is so invasive and damaging, and because it likes to come back.

I read everything I could find about it as I was going through all the tests but the information I could find sucked.  It was contradictory and very little of it applied to my particular situation.  Plus my Dr. was feeding me sunshine and rainbows and wouldn't give me a straight answer.  Fortunately, the tests showed I had caught it really early and it hadn't spread, so it was still stage 1.  But I needed surgery on my neck and throat, and this time everything I read was in agreement.  This was the most painful surgery there is.  But, gotta do it before it does spread, and hopefully they would get it all and I would not need radiation and chemo.  So surgery was last month, and they were not exaggerating about the pain. Plus it left half my face either numb or paralyzed though the Dr. says that will fix itself with time.  But unfortunately, the pathology from the surgery wasn't good.  And I will need 6 weeks of radiation, which starts in a couple weeks.  And that fucks you up far more than the surgery did.  Yay me.  And even if I get the radiation, there is a 15 percent chance the cancer comes back, and a 10 percent chance it kills me if it does.  But probably not for 3-6 years and maybe they will have a cure by then.  So I am really looking forward to them frying my face off with radiation.

But this is not my first time I have faced death and kicked it's ass.  Twice in the military, and one previous go round with cancer.  This one feels different though.  The two military brushes with death were instantaneous type things and either kill you or they don't.  The first cancer never really caused me to fear death, though it easily could have been fatal had circumstances been just a little different.

All of this has given me the time and motivation to reassess what I am going to do with the rest of my life after getting this radiation. What I decided is that I am going to keep living it, but maybe with a bit more urgency, because I truly do not know how much time I have left. But my intention is to beat this thing just like I beat the last one, and live a great many more happy, healthy years.

And I also realized, they whether I have 6 years or 60 left, I do not want to live them alone. Which does not mean I am going to lower my standards a single iota. I would still rather be alone than in the wrong relationship. But I am going to change my approach and work at finding the right someone(s) a lot harder.

It is impossible to miss the trend of so many women, especially the younger ones, to view BDSM as transactional, and seek some sort of payment for their attention. Though it is rather amusing that so many believe that their very existence entitles them to be paid for doing absolutely nothing. Having minored in economics while I was getting my three business degrees, I have since been aware that everything we humans do is transactional, whether we are aware of it or not. It is the laws of economics, not the laws of physics that govern human behavior. Nobody, no matter how selfless, does anything for nothing. Every decision we make,we weigh the risk vs the reward and the penalties we incur if we fail. Unfortunately most people have no idea how to do this correctly and almost always give far too much weight to the risk and penalty side of the equation, which holds them back from so much in life out of fear of failure.

But I have no problem acknowledging that this a transactional based dynamic, rather than keeping it subliminal. I have no desire for a pay to play or I could go to a professional. I am seeking a committed, 24 7, long term relationship to include both vanilla and BDSM. I seek a true slavery dynamic. Some call it TPE, though I find that inadequate. I also desire one sided poly, which leaves you free to have as many other relationship as you wish, while I serve only you.

So here is what I bring to the table

I own a very nice, large home in a very safe, upscale area of Phoenix, AZ. So I offer long term stability without having to worry about making the rent or being evicted or fearing for your safety in, or when entering or leaving your home.

I have a guaranteed income for the rest of my life which gives me enough money to pay all of my bills and enough left over to enjoy my life. As my bills will decrease with time, the excess will then increase. I am not, however, a SD. I will expect you to contribute according to your ability to do so. When it comes to the house, maintaining the household, and paying the bills, we are all on an equal basis. I will expect you to either continue your education with the goal of having a career,or getting a job. Details on how and what you contribute are negotiable. I can carry most of the financial load while you are in school or working your way upin your career.

And finally, you get me. You have never met a male slave like me before. I was introduced to BDSM and taught long before the internet existed. I am nothing like any of the other men who call themselves slaves or submissives. But rather than go on about how wonderful I am, that can keep. Because it doesn't matter how wonderful I think I am, it only matters how wonderful you think I am. And that works both ways. Unlike most male subs, I won't just roll over to any woman who would have me. I have declined to serve probably thousands of women, and will continue to do so until the one who is right for me comes along. No matter how long that takes.

The woman I seek is truly dominant, not dress up and pretend politically correct BDSM like most. She values intelligence and integrity. She has pride in herself, ambition and has set life goals to motivate herself to excel. Since we are going to at times have to pretend to be vanilla, she can compartmentalize.

That is it. If I think of more, or as my cancer treatments progress, I will write further journal updates. Most of what I wrote is negotiable to some extent. Well except for her being intelligent and possessing integrity. I offer great service and a secure and happy home. If you believe you can do better, I wish you well.