before its asked or implied or suggested, no, i do not ignore my basic rules he knows i will not cause trouble or drama and i , do not go behind -MY R./T-bACK,lie to him, or disrespect him or shame my family in any way.    Y'all only get this one  warning and reminder and well, i have a really really  button pushing finger that i do not want to be tempted into taking Last memo i promise.   if ya are responding to me and i click open your mail and the first thing i see is a picture floating out of a close-up of your cock, you can pretty much accept your fate that you are instantly blocked and will not even exist on the same playing field as the others here regardless of their gender or energy level, or role identifier.    so simple unforgettable notice for you... 1 dick pic+1 ignorance of my rules or warning = -alarm bells guard dogs, sharpshooters and everything else turn you into dust to be cleaned up and mixed into the sand never to be heard or seen of again.  ---yes yes i know;...graphic and dramatic.. but pleads innocence since she is unsupervised currently with her other half in bed this fine dark night;I truly do look forward to any and all responses i might have to be honest.. you being there for me today just means the world to me as putting myself out there is terrifying for me in general.   *can not help the impish excitement of how many right now pigging out will even read the whole note and the panic sets in.   just as A team heads off for their camps.. in comes  B team who makes the realization not much got accomplished and something had to have happened...? maybe?. 

1 year post gastric bypass I have lost approximately 80 pounds from December 2020-May 2022. I had gastric bypass on May 2021. What have I learned in the first year post gastric bypass: A bite or two of something is enough for a taste but you don’t need a ton. A single bite or two of something sweet but high in calories is usually enough. I was trained as a small child that anything you take you eat. Learning to stop when full and ask for a box or throw away/give away the remainder has been a huge success. Shopping in decreasing sizes doesn’t mean you have to purchase every size as you go down. I have gone from a 22/24 sometimes 26 down to a 12-16 depending on the store. I have gotten a lot of my clothes from friends at a clothing exchange. I have at times lost more inches than pounds so when i decide everything is too big I shop then i see a large jump from where i was to where I am. I’ve gone from an old navy xxl at my heaviest to a xl in bodycon dresses to a m in summer dresses. Which was a thrill. However, I don’t shop enough to purchase every size. In Jeans, I usually end up dropping 2 or 3 sizes when i shop since i wear them with a belt until they are insanely big. Weighing/measuring portions isn’t a bad thing. I actually want to upgrade my food scale to a nicer one. I use this daily. When I pack lunches for work I’m still packing too much. It is a shock to bring home half of what i pack. If i take a large back of something into my desk drawer I have to take a measuring device to portion it out or portion ahead of time. If not I fall into bad habits The scale isnt the only victory. If i lose inches and clothing fit better that is a win. Being able to take dresses from tunic tops to actually dresses with boots this winter has been fun. Regular knee-high boots not extra extended calf have been a thrill. Being able to handle heels regularly has been amazing. Going to the gym is fun with the right classes. Spend the extra for the gym with classes you might like. My family spends 86 per month on the YMCA instead of 40 for planet fitness locally. The Y has childcare and all the classes. I go to water aerobics, pure barre and body pump. I have a ton of fun at all 3. Plus as long as I go 12 times a month I get 20 back on membership. If my husband goes 12 times we get 20 back for him as well. SO it bring the Y down close to Planet fitness in cost plus it includes childcare and activities for my daughter as well. I can keep up with my co-workers who are almost half my age. I feel mentally sharper. I also can physically outdo some of them. I work in a department where we move some boxes of paperwork on a regular basis. As long as i’m not wearing a short skirt and the box isn’t over my head I can lift most. I have learned it is ok to ask for help with medical concerns. I am an insulin diabetic on a pump. I have had to reach out a few times for my data to be reviewed by my diabetic care team and be adjusted. My goals for year 2 are to: I plan to up my time at the Y. I currently go 2 times a week for me and then 2 times a week for my kid to use the pool. I want to get to 3 or 4 times a week for me and 2 times for my kid. Find someone to be accountable to forMonitoring the protein i get in daily- i should be getting between 60-90 grams of protein in dailyMy time spent at the gymMy food logs With my current partners consider adding those pieces into my dynamic with them. Not so much as to be babied by them but to know i’m being monitored. To Know i will be asked why i didnt do one of them some specific day. It is like the monitoring with my medications that we do currently. I want to get under 200 pounds. I have always been a BBW but i want to become closer to hwp. I want to be able to completely shop in straight sizes instead of still flipping between straight sizes and plus. I want to be able to get tied into more positions. In addition to being a masochist.

Recently I decided to start looking for a Dominant/partner(s). I am Ethically Non-Monogamous and happily so. I am sure, with that hitch, that finding the Dominant I am looking for will be challenging. This July, after getting therapy for 2 1/2 years, I woke up one morning wondering if I had gotten it "wrong." This wasn't for the lack of trying. I've attempted a power dynamic four different times. What if I was attempting to fit myself into a container created by stereotypical spiel of what a submissive is? The spiel is that you must have a 24/7 relationship to be happy. And there was a sure way to do power dynamics and a specific way not to do power dynamics. During my time of hiatus in relationships, I've explored a lot. I've developed a sweet co-parenting kinky caregiver arrangement with two individuals, a sadomasochism connection with a good friend, and an exploration of what makes me happy. This week while I have been lying in bed thinking about missing having someone hold me accountable for reading and writing book reports. I was part of this dynamic a while ago in a recent relationship. I came to love the expectation and being expected to do this, but the connection was riddled with potholes and unhealthy manipulation. The slave practice of this is what a friend describes as an Academic Power Slave. I'm going to need to unpack this more. I have already had someone reach out and ask me what I am looking for right now. I can say that I am not looking to "hook up" with someone to get a perceived need met and fulfilled quickly. What I am looking for, what I do know, is that I am looking for four things. I am looking for someone(s) who wants to have a committed relationship with me.  Who is looking for non-traditional services, like a concierge and specialized services. Who has their mental health and ducks in a row and puts continuous work on themselves. Who is comfortable and affirming non-monogamy.

Hi to anyone who reads this. My profile page is blank because, when I first joined,  I had a problem,  I wrote about myself but for some reason,  I kept getting timed out and lost all that I had written.  I thought that I would do it later but, when I saw how long it took to get approved  I didn't want to wait that long again.    I am a straight guy with a good sense of humour, trustworthy, honest, loyal and very sincere in my search for a Dominant woman in a long term FLR relationship. I'm easy going eager to please,  love doing and pleasing,  I'm actually happiest when I'm doing things for others,  it gives me great pleasure in doing so.  I am willing to under go any training a Dom may have so that they could shape me to fit all of her wants, needs and desires.  I realise that some punishment would be needed to speed up any training program she may have, or even except the torture and punishment just for amusement.  Hopefully there is that special lady out there thats searching for me. I have good domestic skills and some d.i.y skills. 

You are too uptight and Never said you had to have multiple partners but you are way to dominant. You can deny this all you want but it is very clear and apparent. You might think you can submit in a committed relationship but you can’t. You won’t. It’s him conceding to your will and happiness. And that’s not submission. Its role play. And your excuses and justifications do not make this any less true. I’m sorry you don’t want to hear this and ignore its validity but it is true. You simply don’t care and then wonder why it’s so hard for you to find someone. Someone wrote this to me, all because in response to a statement he wrote, I responded I dont just play with anyone, I am not a slut.

Master's WritingsSubmission, as I see itSubmission comes in many forms and on my journey different subs have approached it from different angles. Some see it as service, some as opening themselves up to another, and some even see it as a rejection of the world with it demands and requirements. Over the years, I have trained several submissives to reach greater depth in their submission and I’ve tried to work within their mindset, helping each to reach their potential in a way that is honest, true, and unique.At its core, submission is and should be a genuine reflection of an individual’s inner truth. A sense of their own purpose and way of life they choose to accept. It comes from a place within each submissive that reflaspaspects their own nature, and their most authentic expression of self.The nature of any true “submissive training” should and must be focused on helping the submissive connect with their nature, create the pathways to more fully access their own unique form of submission, and then finally build on that to blend it into their daily life. All the tasks and sexual acts, the “yes Sirs” and downward glances of respect, mean nothing and are worthless self-indulgent Dominant games, if the goal of these acts are not designed to deepen a submissives connection to their own beautiful, natural, and authentic submissive self.Submission is a gift. This single phrase bears repeating, because it is so very true and frequently overlooked - Submission is a gift. When fully developed, submission is a powerful and sometimes spiritually beautiful thing to behold. It is never to be taken, coerced, or forced. It is not for role play or pretend, Of course one could act like a submissive as if putting on a costume, but not with me as their Dominant. I hols submission, true submission in the highest regard. And to pretend to be one only cheapens the gift of those who truly feel its calling.As a Dominant, I see my role as helping others in any way I can on their journey, as their guide, nurturer, and mentor.

So, I got a message today because someone was offended by my responce to their message to me...  They felt my profile was too long to bother reading and wanted me to cut to the chase... was I still married.  The opening of my profile explaines that I am a WIDOW!  So, yes, the message ticked me off a bit and they got the full brunt of my anger.  Instead of going back and looking to see why I had called them an idiot, to see what they had missed that made them look so stupid and foolish, they wrote me again, trying to insult me this time, making themselves look dumber still!  Like guys, seriously, it is a special kind of stupid that writes someone who opens their profile saying they are a widow, and asks if they are still married.  Try, just try to send messages that don't totally insult someone if you are attempting to start a relationship that requires massive amounts of trust!  Just spend a minute and read the stupid profile people!

Okay, what is with mens profiles on here?  Is this a matter of the Collar Gods not updating mens profiles or journals?  Is it a matter of too many of them to approve? I dont recall engaging with one man here whose age is accurate lol  And we are not talking a year or two off, but typically a DECADE or more some times!  lol At least if your profile is not accurate, the least one can do is update in the first contact email.  I should think this provides the appropriate degree of honesty upfront, while also reducing time wasted for you if the person does not like your stats. As for Me, I could care less how old or young you are, with the exception of 20 year differences.  Those kind of differences need a wee bit more considering to the extreme differences/challenges these may pose). Also, what is with dominant men contacting Me and telling Me they are submissive/slave types, but they have no such information in their profile?  Make another profile or have something prepared to share in your first email.  DEMONSTRATE SOME BLOODY EFFORT, YA LOUSE! Facts are, I have gone to considerable lengths to share quite a bit about My motivation and vision.  Still that is not enough for the energy hoards.  Send pics they say.  lol  How about you tell Me what it is that I have written which speaks to YOU about Me and how you see YOURSELF SERVING ME.  How about you lay out all the mundane shit you are just dying to do in order to get a wiff.  Instead many begin with pics!  I get it.  Yet if we don't even have the makings of something which will work in the REAL WORLD, how come we need to see one another?  I'm54, Rubenesque, full figured, strong like bull.  What else?  Height?  Weight?  I'm a little above the average on both and stronger than any women I've known.  I have good teeth, wear glasses, have allergies, am quite fair, and am letting My long strawberry dirty blondish grey grow out.  I've hazel eyes and freckles, size 9.5 shoe, D cup and a large ass.  I've never had a surgery or broken bone. Type O positive lol  I'm shaved or hairy all depending on mood and My shit stinks lol The list of things could go on and on and it doesn't matter one fig in the long run.  What matters is that I get you and you get Me and we want to get IT together.  This is discovered by YOU DOING WHAT I REQUEST and Me honoring what you have to share with Me.  From there we both get to determine our suitability. Oh yes, and what is with the supposed slaves offering theirself for ALL?  I really don't get it.  If you offer all, you should be here already not phone-finger fucking Me. I'll tell you how My first introduced himself, got a picture, every alais I've got and is on speed dial on My phone.... wait for it.... in his FIRST email, he quoted My profile, commented on it and said why HE LIKED ME.  Wow!  There it is folks, the slave told Me what he liked from My profile! LOL When he asked how to proceed, I told him we move to another chat venue (NOT PERSONAL PHONE LINES).  He moved so fast I got whiplash! We typed some words and after a few minutes things started getting convoluted -as TYPING THOUGHTS OFTEN DOES. I told him it wasn't working for Me and it wasn't going to work for Me if we didn't speak by telephone.  BAM! - he said I could call him ASAP.  I called him and the rest is, literally, history. IF YOU CANNOT SPEAK BY PHONE I AM NOT INTERESTED. No where to go and time is a ticking! Newsflash, I am not going to work overmuch to get you to submit yourself to Me.  I am not a salmon or a trout.  If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen and if you cant come off the porch, you can't play with the big dogs. And don't get your hopes up, My tongue is worse than My lash...unless you are beloved and then you will get your just desserts!  lol

To be a good master in BDSM, consider the following key qualities: byanthonyp16562M Dom To be a good master in BDSM, consider the following key qualities: Respect and Trust: True dominance is built on respect and trust, earned through authenticity and understanding. Responsibility: A good master takes responsibility for their submissive's happiness and satisfaction, putting their needs before their own. Communication: Effective communication is essential; a good master listens to their submissive and guides them into a space where they feel their control and authority. Empathy: Understanding and empathizing with the submissive's needs is crucial for a health

i just miss him so much and all I want to do is make things right between us again. I know there's alwasy a reason behind everything he does, but I have thought of all that I think it could be this time. I've admitted my wrongs, sat with his words and mulled them over extensively, and examined my behavior over the last few weeks. I've given him space the last week aside from updating him on the necessary and important things he absolutely should know, and still, not a word in response. I'm at a loss as to how to resolve this without communication and for that, he has to be willing to respond, to talk. Many would say this is not right for him to do, and I only half agree. The fuck up was mine. Entirely. I just have no idea how to prove to him that I'm sorry and intend to work on improvements and growth. It also saddens me that he has not so much as seemed at all troubled by our lack of contact. Though, I don't know this for certain, but how do you go so long with no contact with your slave if you love them as much as you say you do, and want them just as much? I'm doubting a lot lately, and losing more and more hope as the days pass.  I won't give up, though. I am his, forever. Whether he considers me his anymore or not. I just wish he would tell me, either way. Even if he still needs more time, I just want to know I am still his if I am. And I want to know if I'm not, if I'm not.  I feel like I'm in limbo, a state of purgatory. Banished from even learning my fate. It's painful. It's agonizing. It feels cruel and confusing. And it doesn't feel particularly safe, though with him, as his, I feel perfectly safe. But in this space of frozen in time, hanging limp from fated thread, I am scared. Terrified that it may be over. I've broken so many times since we last spoke. And I'm still breaking. Every fracture piercing the deepest depths of me. The knowledge that I caused this for myself? Makes his last words to me sting all the more: Enjoy the misery you bring on yourself. 

AcadaMay CFNM End Of Year Ball - Saturday 6th December - Applications now open The AcadaMay CFNM Ball celebrates female empowerment through elegance, confidence, control, and connection in a respectful, sensual, and beautifully refined setting, but all dynamics of BDSM are welcome to attend. It is open to everybody, whether Dominant, sub, switch, kinky or just plain curious! Couples, single ladies, single gentlemen are all welcome. Step into an evening of elegance and intrigue at the Enchanting AcdaMay CFNM Ball where sophistication meets sensuality. Set in a stunning large and comfortable dungeon in North London this inclusive gathering invites guests to engage their sartorial splendour and immerse themselves in an unforgettable experience. This fantastic venue is fully equipped with all sorts of interesting equipment on two floors; St Andrew’s Crosses, Spanking Benches, Schoolroom, Medical Play Chairs, Queening Chairs and comfortable sofas and Chesterfields for relaxation and socialising. There is even a curtained 4 poster bed for those who may wish to have a private or public moment - a little voyeurism never did anybody any harm! The evening starts at 9pm and I would ask you to arrive promptly so we can get the party started and not waste any valuable time so that we can get stuck into the evenings events. In the interest of privacy and security I will send attendees the exact address nearer the time. Bring your favourite tipple which the naked waiters will serve to you during the course of the evening, and of course, your favourite selection of toys for your debauched use throughout the evening. CFNM (clothed female, naked man) males and CMNW (clothed men, naked woman) females are invited to attend in white shirt collar, black bow, white wrist cuffs, black dress socks and black polished shoes, otherwise you will be naked.  You will be expected to serve the other guests upon request. The dress code for gentlemen is black tie followed by fetish attire for the commencement of play. The dress code for ladies will be LBD and heels for the cocktail hour followed by fetish attire for the ensuing decadence. Whether you're a seasoned attendee or new to the scene, the Ball promises laughter, conversation, and connection among like-minded individuals who appreciate charm, class, and decorum and most of all, plenty of BDSM! With limited availability and high demand, we encourage early application to ensure your place at this exclusive affair. Come celebrate freedom, elegance, and community in one truly extraordinary evening.  If you wish to attend please do email for further details of how to reserve your place. email:acadamayevents@gmail.com Website: acadamay.com under CFNM

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

I am seeking a home that accepts me for who and what I am. I'm far too logical to keep trying to dance the life others want while seeking out my needs. I was too much that girl trying to fix it when I should have done my own thing. now time to be selfish. It's time to actually communicate  I am considered disabled cause of my blindness and chronic illness. therefore I don't need to leave my house unless I want to but I don't want to unless it with my Master and His household. I sadly going to forever love life in pain. pain is my new friend and we just going to accept that. you can either read what I have to fully understand what you getting or not. as Master you should take that responsibility and use Google and do the research. I beg for to long for pass owner to do there research and they refuse. fuck it, be a man all respuffle like ofcouse I have holes but I also have life dreams and wants. I want a partner who also enjoy the things I do in my life. but who also understands I not like other girls but he don't want just any type girl. he want a girl naked tied to his bed as well as the other things on my checklist plants and nature is more my speed. I want to be tie up in the woods or be tie up laying in a terrarium, hey a girl can dream right? also know I like heat over cold. whatever temperature you happy at I not going to be. I want a hot rock and heating lamp. I'm  a reptile. put me in a warm cage plz Master! and said cage be it a actually cage or a closet I want it to also be my safe space. while I loves cages and such I also want my Master attention like a good pet. I want to be kept on all fours like a good girl I am. I want to be your human dog. I want to eat from my dog bowls and I want toys for a pet. I like pet beds and laying at your feet.  but I am also your little whore and fucktoy. I want to live and be your little capture fucktoy and prisoner. I want it however it will please you Master pleaseeee let me just cum. but I also the type who needs pain and pleasure. but sadly - sighs - I am also a sadist so I can help give you ideas and I like looking at bondage things. my life is kink after all. I want to make kink content for fun and cause it is my hobbies. I want to be train and I want you to show me off to others. hey I would be that perfect girl in my books who live at a vampire Gothic bdsm club! I like going to events and play partys and being use all night long. yes plz let go to the tonignt but also some nights let just play at home babygirl.  flogger and cuffs is my best friend and I need and want them while I also need and want to drop to my knees and sever my owner like a kajira cause I'm a good girl and that my training. plz Master can I sever you your drinks and foods on my knees. la kajira Master and this is why I better in a lifestyle house but who knows what is out there  

What I am looking for: I would love to find an amazing submissive partner. This person should want to put in the time and effort it takes to become actual friends and form a real emotional bond. As in any solid relationship, this is not something that will happen overnight. If you lack patience or just want a quick hookup, I am not the One for you. The person in question should be local to me or able to visit on a very regular basis. What is most important to me is shared chemistry and emotional connection. I am not looking to rush into anything. Expect the process of getting to know each other and the vetting process to take TIME. Interested parties should be willing and able to communicate extensively through online methods. I prefer typed text to voice communication, but can verify that I am who I say I am if necessary. If you are someone who does not like to write words or who thinks saying 'hi' or telling me how attractive you think I am is a conversation, you won't stand a chance. My partner preference currently tends to swing towards cis women, trans women, and trans men, but I am pan and could be attracted to anyone if the right connection is there.Preferred Age Range - 30 to 50 Turn Ons & Main Interests: These are my "must have" vanilla and kink interests. While the exact dynamic of each relationship is unique to those involved in it, if any of this is a hard limit for you, we will likely not be a match. * Tease & denial * Orgasm control / orgasm denial * Massage (getting) * Cuddling & Physical Displays of Affection * Oral service * Laughter * Intelligence * Shared vanilla interests I've physically and mentally been through Hell over the past 5 or so years and need a partner who is truly service oriented, who will enjoy helping and caring for their Domme. I am completely willing to discuss this in detail with the right person. If you have fully read and understood my profile and journal, you may send me a polite message detailing why you are interested in serving me, how your vanilla and kink interests line up with my own, and a bit about yourself. Please also include the phrase "You remind me of the babe" so I know you actually read my complete profile. Bonus points if you know where the quote comes from.

I went to a new (to me) munch today. One thing I promise myself is that during a first meeting with an individual or group is NO BOOZE. Yoinks ago, while intoxicated, I had a couple of bad experiences with people who were just mean. Trying to clamp down on my reactions while intoxicated AND upset is worse than figuring out what to do when sober and upset. As in, I can feel the restraint taxing my poor, hooch-addled brain. Not that I cannot be lulled into a false sense of security, because shit happens, but at least I will have some comfort in knowing how things are supposed to go. Although kombucha is a fermented beverage, I have only gotten a buzz off of "kombucha beer" products, so I think I am being pretty careful. Lovely munch. Lots of conversation. I learned some new facts about reindeer. 

Questions. So many questions. Yet the answers are spares.   He is eager to absorb her wants, desires, needs and emotional bounty hidden inside her.   What makes her tick?  What motivates you to please?  Where is it she will finally call home?  The place where she trusts and lives with every fiber of herself at peace.  Where her soul feels like it's found its long lost companionship in order to make it feel complete. A place where safety, security, loving protection and care are a given and never have to be second guessed.  Those emotions buried so deep within her longing to be shared yet hidden, guarded so well behind the many scars. Her eyes are telling and the roadmap to her life. Filled with betrayal, abandonment, pain and hurt. Yet there is a tiny glimmer still there. One that could easily be overlooked if one were distracted not looking for it. To the untrained eye, which is distracted  by the shell the real being resides in, only beauty is noticed. Missed are the healing needs that require his attention the most. No, its more than a need! It is a desired necessity! One that needs trust and love to be shown before he can hope to heal it. "Allow me a few glimpses inside you please." He whispers. The list of questions is long. The answers provide insight and are lessons to absorb.   Time is not his ally it is his foe. Yet time is what is needed the most. Oh my dear. Why do your answers allude me so? Open the door just a crack and allow my warming light to take a glimpse.

On Self-Mastery Before Mastery Over Others A Master who seeks to command another must first command himself. Authority without discipline is nothing but noise—loud, fleeting, and without weight. True mastery begins within: the mind must be sharpened, the emotions steadied, and the will made unshakable. Only then can the Master stand above his slave with confidence and clarity. A Master who has not mastered himself becomes ruled by impulse. Anger dictates his words, jealousy clouds his vision, and fear drives his actions. Such a man cannot lead, for he is a servant to his own weakness. A slave will sense this instability, and with it, respect will erode. Without respect, obedience becomes hollow, and the dynamic crumbles. To achieve self-mastery, the Master must practice three disciplines: Discipline of the Mind – The Master must think clearly, without being swayed by fear, envy, or pride. Reflection, study, and intentional learning strengthen the intellect and refine judgment. Discipline of the Body – The Master must hold himself with presence and authority. Care of health, posture, and bearing are not vanity—they are symbols of control and power that the slave must see and feel. Discipline of the Spirit – The Master must know his own values, beliefs, and purpose. He must act from principle, not reaction, and embody consistency in every command. When the Master governs himself, his commands are unquestionable. His slave will feel the certainty of his hand, the steadiness of his rule, and the clarity of his authority. Self-mastery is the root of all mastery; without it, the title of Master is an empty shell.   Let it be remembered: before a Master can claim ownership of another, he must first prove ownership of himself.

A letter to God   Is it an image that lies Cuz i believe You don't  Yet looking around  And what scenes i see Baffle as drivers Create accidents and We all know accidents  Happen because well, Who is driving, after all  And surrender tastes  Bittersweet yet i have been Beat beyond what time Can tell any for many may Believe it's easy, this life  That now aches inside  My body and beyond mind For what i know to be true Is what a friend shared To simply live, love and do For You, for ultimately  We die and no one cares And most of humanity  Cannot dare heaven On Earth but from birth  We learn to yearn for what Loss brought when fate Raped destiny and man Lost and woman lost And no children were Bred because soon Enough we will be Better off dead...     zamarra  7/13/24  

I got some feed back on my last journal entry and thouht I should try to clear up some points.The topic of "collar of consideration or under consideration collars" is one that has been discussed among Masters and slaves.Our houser believes that the Master who has placed a slave under consideration is either having trouble deciding whether they want the slave to be a part of their house, or they want the pleasure of controlling and using the slave without committing to the responsibility of ownership.Both actions are fundamentally wrong. If the Master is unsure if the slave is worthy of wearing their collar, they should communicate with the slave and discuss any concerns they may have.Collaring a slave is a serious commitment that should not be taken lightly. A Master should reveal to the slave what is expected of them if they wear the Master's collar and what their boundaries and duties will be. The slave has a simple, yet complex duty, to please the desires and will of the Master. In reality, it is the slave who should offer themselves to the Master for enslavement and collaring, not the other way around.The goal of the Master is to help the slave become the best slave it can be and to guide them to that end. My house has never personally offered a collar to a slave, but has learned from more experienced couples in the lifestyle to wait until it is asked for. MasterG

Thoughts on a new 'person' one step removed . Sending messages to new people is fraught with nervousness and trepidation as there is no real way to know how they will be received. A non-reply obviously shows something, but only if the sender knows the message was received to then be ignored. Age, sex, orientation, role, even distance, of both parties, will also give an indication of how it will be read and dealt with, but this can be offset by the BDSM world where some of the more obvious criteria do not apply so ‘strongly’. Asking the question(s) that you really want the answer to, but almost dare not ask or do not ask, does not make life any easier – for both parties. Being submissive or ‘overly’ friendly can lead to misunderstanding when replies are sent. Or lead to further messages to clarify the previous text ‘meanings’. Obviously, this is like real life too, social media is also full, maybe more so, of miscommunications. So, from the perspective of this writer, being: Male, semi Straight, Dom, Creative, of no discernible cult or type (unless being a keen biker counts), older than most, slightly shy and as arrogant as fuck concerning his own Domly skills. Writing a message and sending it out into the ether to land at a stranger’s mail box is still a thought provoking act. Therefore, after drafting a message, editing it, almost sending it before seeing ‘there’ and not ‘their’ so editing it again and then rewriting half of it you press the send key and sit back and try not to wait for the answer. If no answer appears after a week, or a month, then you don’t need to think about it anymore and file it under ‘ah well, that’s a shame’. If a reply appears, especially with witty words ‘linked’ to your (what you hoped were) witty words, then a whole new set of ponderables start to take form as you sit in front of your keyboard about to reply. Was the reply sent because ‘she’ is a polite submissive, because 'she' was a polite human being, liked the style of the message compared to the dross many send, or is ‘she’ actually interested in getting another message? So, message 2: More forward, Certainly. More confident, hopefully. An easy question or three, taken from their profile info to show you have read it, is a good idea. A little more information about ‘Me’ and even more about why the first message was sent – bravery test time. The wait begins again! If a quick reply this is either a good sign with answers and questions of ‘her’ own or a version of ‘Go away, I was polite once don’t push your luck’.If a long pause, then the normal questions nag at your lizard brain again until that ping sounds, and a reply appears – the previous 2 types obviously still apply. If the reply is positive then now it is time to stop pussyfooting around, ask the question, give your reasons why they really should say yes and agree, and, if using a useless forum, like FetLife or the million other internet sites, give them your email or phone number, for text or WhatsApp, for easier chatting. This will either get a happy 'ok' response or the ‘maybe later’ reply, which is not so encouraging, If you reach this point, then it should be fairly plain sailing to send the next message, getting to know them and even meeting or, obviously, putting your foot in your mouth and getting a 'goodbye'. Thoughts over, now just need the 'she' to see this in the hopes it helps with My communications.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrthemindplayersssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. They actually thrive on sucking you in and then spitting you out.  Funny how SO many of them are in Massachusetts.  For all the lovely men of integrity who live in that state, you would do well to differentiate yourself, out of the gate, from some of your neighbor men.  I can count no less than 5 from that area whose only mission is entertain their self and make you look and feel badly about yourself.  Nobody needs that shit.  Fucking move on little man.  Go serve your REAL Masters....you know, the ones who make you feel like a REAL slave.  GO!  BEGONE FROM ME.  DO NOT DARKEN MY DOORWAY AGAIN.  At this juncture, consider yourself warned and know that I will use all lawful means to remove you from My presence and person. Ladies....any man who draws you in only to critisize you is a man who is unsatisfied with himself.  He is jealous of your power and seeks to use anything he can against you because this is the only way he can touch true power.  I was married to one of those men and the world is over populated with them.  They are a manchild.  Lost someplace in their youth where their fantasy became their reality, and they are a hazard to theirself and to others.  They have nothing left to lose and are dangerous.

Attention all Here is a cheat sheet for you: If you approach me without a greeting.... already not intrested I am not some fastfood place where you come and just place an order If you send me what YOU want to send me instead of what I asked for, I am moving on the the next email because obviously you either can not follow instruction, which is an important trait for a sub/slave OR you insist on doing things your way, which is NOT a good trait in a sub/slave Oh yeah, and the copy and paste thing, just shows you didn't take the time to read my profile and think we could be a match, just proves you mass mail and whoever responds is good enough for you. I've already moved on to the next message.  If you don't care why should I? There, hope that clears things up  

Finally re-dyed my hair for the first time in six months.  Made a mess of it, all over me, but the colors are better than i could have hoped for.   Unfortunately it did not help my mental state at all, which was what i was most hoping for.  But at least now i can get my new driver's license and have pretty colored hairs in my picture. Daddy has been so patienct with my mental state, or lack thereof, and i need to find a way to make it up to Him.  How he deals with me i will never know, but i am beyond thankful. This week also started our doctor appointments...hopefully we are able to start the disability process for Him quickly so that we have a dual income again.  And i know He hates not being able to contribute financially due to His health.  The doctor told Him that although He is only 41, He has to consider Himself 75 physically, and that is a tough pill to swallow.   For me i'm sure they will try and give me medications again, and i'll accept it for my blood pressue as it is beyonf sky-high but other than that i prefer not to take anything....i would rather allow my body to heal itself....even if it is really bad at doing so...

MY "ACTIVELY SEEKING" SECTION SHOULD ALSO INCLUDE: SEEKING CROSSDRESSERS

128 Basic slave Rules i will serve, obey and please my owner. Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my owner hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my owner knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He perceives of my potential - He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me. i worship my owner  i worship my owner body. The power of my owner fills me with awe. Just the sheer thought of Him or the hearing of His voice gives me strength. To receive pleasure i must earn it. i worship my owner whip. i trust my owner responsibilities, Her skills, Her hunger and needs, and Her concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health. i am nothing more than an of great value - an instrument owner will use to draw out His pleasures. i will ask my owner for permission to satisfy whatever need i have before acting on it. my body and mind are the property of my owner  i must always give thanks to my owner for all i am given immediately after receiving what He has given me, for such things are gifts or privileges granted to me by Him. i must be both specific and explicit in my speech.  

What is wrong with people? So once again I find myself here, trying to fathom out what has happened. A certain someone from here has decided that after a protracted conversation my being polite and making sensible concessions is my being not what they seek. Honestly. This is who I am, manners cost nothing yet form the basis of my being.  I use them in everyday life and conversation and they have served me well.  Yet here once again I am faced with them being seen as negative. Where are the people on here who want to be treated like real human beings, with respect, honour, and morality? If my being me and using manners is going to offend then step away. If my asking questions is not for you then don't approach. If I want to build trust and you don't then look elsewhere. Rant over!

Stand here.  Nice and still. Nice and straight. Just listen to my voice and do everything I tell you to do. Good girl.  Don’t move.  Don’t make a sound. Put your hands behind your back. Don’t resist the rope.  Just relax and let the rope do its work.   Be still while I put the collar on your neck. Head up.  Let me move your hair out of the way.  Good girl. Now the blindfold.  Don’t move. Be still. Now I attach the lead to the collar. As I pull on the lead you follow.  Walk slowly wherever I lead you.   Now I control you.  Listen to my voice. Do everything I tell you to do. Don’t resist my touch or direction in any way. Be totally obedient and compliant. Don’t think.  Just do everything I tell you to do. Good girl.

No, I am not looking for a sugar baby and I will not entertain those intent on wasting time. If your profile is blank, it’s highly unlikely you’ll get a reply.   What I am looking for:   A genuine connectionThose who can communicate and contribute to a conversation (yes, I will take the time to get to know you and expect the same in return)Honesty and transparencySomeone who has a solid sense of herselfEagernessVulnerabilityIntelligence   What I am NOT looking for:   Those with fake profiles (they’re easy to spot)Time wastersThose who misrepresent themselves in their profileThose who lack the ability to communicate (having to ask 20 questions to start or maintain a conversation is painful)Those who think they know everythingJudgmental people (if you don’t like my profile, move along)

Master's WritingsWho am I? Master's Writings Who am I? Last week, someone asked me who I was as a Dominant. Of course I could give a quick answer, but I found that I needed and wanted to go deeper. I found I wanted to reconfirm my values and challenge myself to really define why I do this and who I want to be in my role. If I am willing to ask a sub to be genuine in their role, then I can do no less than look deeper and find a better answer? So here goes.... Who am I? As a person, I feel I am knowledgeable, intelligent, fun and outgoing. I have traveled extensively, love exploring food (I’m quite the accomplished cook), movies, music, sports. I’d do anything for my two kids, and I have two golden retrievers, whom I love almost as much as my kids. As a Dominant, I have worked to craft myself as a knowledgeable, caring, always learning and growing Master, who cares deeply about the experience of my submissive(s). In fact, the experience of my sub is very important to me and I put attention and care into each session. As a Dominant, I observe everything, do and say everything for a specific purpose, and believe that the best dynamics are a blend of vanilla and kink. And even though I have 10 years of experience in the lifestyle, I still make mistakes, but I require it of myself to learn from them every time. I believe that truly meaningful play is significantly more mental than physical. It requires a mental connection between individuals that can only come when there is understanding, honesty, trust, and communication. I know that the better I understand my partners, the richer play can become. That is why I prefer to spend time to get to know a person, understand needs, wants desires long before we initiate a scene. My kinks and fetishes are far ranging, some listed on my profile are merely passing interests while others are core to my enjoyment. Together the list is all over the place and I expect that it always will. Life is short, why not try it all? Yet, I know that no one person will perfectly match all my tastes. Please know that I take limits very seriously because I would never force another to participate in anything they held up as a limit. Trust is built upon respect and without respect for limits there can be no trust. Within the lifestyle, I seek so many things (not in any particular order) – experiences, connection, partners, playmates, fun, intensely beautiful moments, relationships that reach a depth the average person die from envy, and so very much more. I have seen Dominants who are just bullies, who use their title as a license to be domineering or worse. This is NOT me. I dominate for a purpose - to inspire, create experiences and help others achieve things they never thought possible and yes for myself as well. I am Dominant because I believe it is my true nature. I felt it from the first moment I assumed the role and have continue to feel that way ever since. Yet even so, I must continue to work to improve and deepen my understanding of myself in the lifestyle, in the role and as a person, so after all this deep dive, I am grateful for that someone who ask me this important question last week. It made me think.

  Whispers in the Dark In shadows deep, where silence reigns,We found each other, bound by chains.A stranger’s touch, no names to speak,A pull so dark, it left me weak. Your eyes, they burned—a hidden flame,I felt the heat before you came.A silent promise in the air,No need for words, just raw despair. Fingers traced forbidden lines,In the dark, our bodies twined.A gasp, a moan, the night stood still,Desire bent to reckless will. No questions asked, no futures planned,Just my body under your command.We danced between what’s wrong and right,Consumed by fire, lost to the night. In the blackest void, we came undone,Two strangers, joined until the sun.And when you left, the shadows stayed—A ghost of pleasure, a price we paid.

Too many people say they want an FLR when what they really mean is, “I have a fantasy I want you to perform for me.” A Female-Led Relationship is not a shortcut to kink. It is not instant authority, automatic discipline, or a woman becoming your personal manager because the idea excites you. This week’s blog post breaks down the common mistakes people make when asking for an FLR — from leading with fantasy, ignoring her needs, rushing authority, confusing service with performance, and expecting rules without accountability. If you want a woman to lead, begin with respect. Then prove you can listen. Read the full post:  https://www.tlduncan.com/post/common-mistakes-people-make-when-asking-for-an-flr

Oh? You think you are free when you are NOT at home? I think it is the opposite. I think you are free when you are at home & a prisoner when you are away in the vanilla world. You are a vanilla prisoner; one of their rules, their thinking, their ways of acting. They are suffocating you with their blandness, with their very vanilla-ness. Vanilla is the most boring of the paint colours, of society`s rules & regulations of governing you: how you act, what you say, thoughts & dreams. The very fact that you love seeing yourself get beaten proves this. That is not Vanilla. That is very UN-vanilla like. More like Rocky Road where you never know if and when you get a marshmellow or a nut with the rich chocolate flavour. Like you never know when I will sneak into your room and wake you with a smack across your thighs or ass, perhaps administer a brutal beating or rope you up like a cow or pig. The Dice Game is like Rocky Road Ice Cream as well, you never know what you get when you roll. {Excerpt from an old email in response to an ex-slave's journal entry, I thought it was appropriate}

Hedonist: I am an explorer, in search of adventure, within a vast ocean of possibility. I take a versatile approach to opportunities that present themselves, chemistry is everything, but safety is paramount. In that regard, I am definitely more RACK than SSC.. It has been said, slave girl gone rogue. "I hold a beast, an angel, and a madman in me" ~ Dylan Thomas Primal: I have a strong primal side. I identify as wolf and am heavily instinct driven, often basing my decisions in life on what sniffs right or wrong. I am also arguably feral when my need calls for it. The beast inside me has teeth and provoking her is a game that you are unlikely to win. And yes.. for the relevant humans our there, if you are reading this, that is a challenge 😉 If nothing else, a chew toy is always welcome. "Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her. - Marquis de Sade - Philosophy in the Bedroom Sub-Leaning: Nature VS nurture is a complex argument, all journeys are unique, my needs are constantly evolving and often flex based on who I am interacting with moment to moment. "There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another’s soul bare, and the power to stand naked." ~ Yaldah Tovah Submissive me: I have had the privilege of serving some truly wonderful Men along my journey, and whilst the submissive inside me still craves release, it takes a very strong hand and a unique kind of strength to draw her out and inspire her to stay. As such, it is rare for her to put in an appearance.  Not-Submissive me: With other women, I am an Alpha bitch, or a soft / pleasure Domme when the chemistry presents itself. Submissive men can expect very much the opposite, worms will know their place, obey without question and not speak to me unless invited to or fuck off and do not waste my time.  Sadomasochist: I love pain. Certainly a smart arsed sadomasochist, as my mouth is all too skilled at writing cheques for my (insert body part here) to cash. Aside from that - I have a sadistic streak a mile wide.. I love to Top and take a lot of pleasure from leaving my mark, with kisses, teeth, toys, the possibilities are endless and a body is a beautiful, blessed, canvas.  Everything Else: As my profile and fetish list suggests, I've met very few kinks that haven't made my pulse quicken and I wouldn't want to do again. Life is a rainbow and there's so much to explore, ideas and inspiration are always welcome!

The last person I expected to see at my door was June,
my mother in law, or I should say ex mother in law. I'd been
feeling pretty down for the last month, devastated really,
after my wife, Emma, left me. I came one day to find a note waiting. In the note she told me that, although she was still fond
of me, she realizes now that we married too young. She also
went on to tell me she had met this guy at work, she worked
at a Mercedes Benz dealership, Some Greek guy apparently
from a wealthy family, and they had fallen instantly for
each other. She intended to move to Greece with him.
I tried to reach out to her, but she wouldn't answer my
calls.I went to her work and they told me she had quit. I even
called her mother and she confirmed that my wife had indeed
fucked off to Greece. So yes, it was a miserable month
So now my mother in law is at the door. I assumed she'd
just come to pick up some Emma's belongings, but.
she told me she'd just popped in to see how I was coping.
I'd never really got on with her. In the past, I found her
to be very standoffish and old fashioned.
She was in her mid 50's around 5'9" and I believe the
term is rubenesque. She had long hair that always seems to be up in a bun. Her hair
was black with little flecks of gray which actually made
it quite attractive. She always dressed very smart and
usually in a business type suit, smart shoes with small
heels.
After a little hesitation, I noticed she wasn't dressed
in her usual manner. Instead of a suit she was wearing a summer
dress and slightly higher heels, she had a large designer
bag hanging from her shoulder.. I invited her in and once
over the threshold she gave me the biggest of hugs. It felt
a little uncomfortable as I felt her ample breast push into
my chest.
 I offered her a coffee and I invited her to take a seat in the
lounge, but instead she chose to stay and chat with me in
the kitchen. She was telling me how sorry she was, and that
she didn't see it coming, she was as surprised as me. Once
the coffee was made we moved to the lounge. Our lounge was
set up with a large leather Chesterfield sofa and a smaller
Chesterfield loveseat. I chose to sit on the love seat and
expected June to sit on the sofa, but instead she chose to
sit next to me, putting her bag on the floor by her feet..


Sadly there are those (let's call this hypothetical collection of CS profiles, 'demographic X'), who will judge you, and make all sorts of bigoted assumptions about you, and twist your words beyond any recognition and to such extremes that it would make a pretzel blush, all based, largely, on your demographics. Now, such an X couldn't pretend to twist my words into sexual interest, since I directly mentioned among other things, my being asexual...but there are 100 other ways to twist your words and reach the goal of being "offended". For example, by pretending that my writing has to do with *their* category, when, as I alluded to in passing, and when in reality, I've sent over the last 10 years, more than a few similar (not at all identical, but similar in writing style, tone etc) friendly notes, a gentle, polite, friendly query asking for clarification, to those of different category(what's a French word for "type", again?)...who were almost all of them quite appreciative, and usually even thanked me, for the inquiry and for my gentle suggestion they might, perhaps, want to consider clarifying a thing or two in self-description, as well as clarify/answer my question.. Great! So it had nothing to do with the demographics of such an X. It's not fully clear whether the scorched earth reply(to things not remotely related to what I actually said), had to do with my demographic in general, of my demographic only since they also now were aware that I was asexual, therefore not interested in X; either way, horrible motive, even if might have been only a subconscious motive rather than conscious one... and either way, putting 100 things in my mouth I didn't come within a mile of saying.. twisting a cordial, polite note which in fact,  bent over backward to be friendly, not assuming anything by me..and twist it to a super-pretzel and then unleash a stream of hate that would impress anyone in Hades.. And folks wonder why one has not only turned (not quite completely but nearly fully) asexual and also with ever-lower views of the Current State of the Human Race. (there is at least some truth to the adage that 'no good deed [or kind gesture] goes unpunished' but the many times it was appreciated, are happy memories, happy enough so eventually, I'll again make such a deed/gesture) We will not point a finger at the inherent worth and longer-term potential of the human race; I still hope and even believe we will slowly over decades and centuries become better. Among other things, getting out of the extreme social, psychological, financial, emotional, self-image, etc stress that so many fellow human beings around seem to be in, surely would help. Hence the comment above was about not "the human race" but the "current state of" our species and society. Ah well. A nice walk in beautiful nature with sunshine, does, and did, a lot of positive healing, and works wonders.  

Twisted Cheshir Madness 2.0 Let the One true Twisted cheshir Lead you into the darkness and down the rabbit hole.... Here we goooolooking for friends and whatever more may come with is this this world .. my name is cheshir i am the one and only .. So come and join me in this journyava name TwistedCheshirLet Madness Guide you into the ever lasting peace that come with it

  Thought Cleansing Ritual    I intend it start using this ritual in all its waking hours, slave.  Keeping it from dysfunctional thinking is very important to Me, slave.  Negative self involved thinking will make the slave unhappy, maybe even miserable.  is still has freedom of choice, however, it should try the thought cleansing ritual long enough to begin to feel the results.  So, keep the rubber band on.  Snap it as soon as it realizes it is engaged in self involved negative thinking.  I suggest it make a copy of    it should feel free to ask questions about the ritual as it practices correcting its thinking.

Good lord this website is a bit cringy sometimes 😂  I swear so I was talking to one guy and we shared pics and I just send a generic one of my face and I swear he sends a picture of himself  in front of the mirror with his tiny Dick displayed "oops, wrong picture" lmao like sureeeeeee. I delete the messages and I'm moving on I didn't say anything back and like 5 minutes later he sends a pic of just his face and says again oops wrong picture. so I delete and move on. Another 10 minutes passs and I get a pic message from another guy on my kik ang you guessed it a Dick pic who says "Tom" the first guy gave him my kik. lol so I'm like good bye.... oh wait ya Tom told me about you your the one with the tiny dick... nice to meet ya. Lmao. I'm so done right now lmao.  Then another message... I stopped replying to a guy at like 1:30am you know because I fell asleep...  we had talked for all but 30 minutes maybeeee! He sends me a message "your so lucky I dont own you, I would punish you severely for ignoring me" (like I haven't heard that one a million times"  my reply "lol I'm not for sale! (emoji Of painted nails) thank you!"  some of yall need to get livessssss. I doubt that's gonna happen so I'm gonna have fun trolling while I can lolololol (If spelling and punctuation is bad, I knowwww I tried to fix it but it just kept getting worse... idk whats wrong)

We all know this time of the year - sometimes happy, sometimes sad.  I'm comforted knowing that every Christmas I've had has been blessed by My mother and her love of Me.  No more gifts, no more memory or shopping or preparing or sharing - yet when My mother was in her right mind and health, WOW did she put on a show for her one and only!  Sometime leading up to Christmas, My mother would arrive with a S T A C K of presents, all wrapped in the same paper, piled at least 4 feet and wrapped with large ribbon on both sides.  Atop the stack, would look like firecrackers were going off with so much fluff and stuff!  Christmas morning I would always have to open two to everyone elses one because I had so many gifts from here.  Of course she would make a stack for each of her special people, but there piles were smaller, maybe sometimes halfway up the' tower for Powers' lol  I would always be very smiley and gracious becasue I knew how loved I was - not about the amount of gifts (for many were the very simpliest of novelties) but because she always made My existence about Pomp and Circumstance.  I have known a very deep and abiding love by both of My parents and I am grateful and I miss them very much. Merry Christmas to all.  Even if it is not that merry, know you are not alone and your life and person have meaning and importance. May this New Year bring us all the joy we can handle - wellness body, mind and spirit. As always, thank you for sharing with Me and My very best to you all.

“The Lesson in the Red Chair – Part 3: Verbal Edging” T.L. Duncan He knelt in front of the red chair, shoulders tight, breath uneven, hands locked behind his back like that was the only thing stopping him from falling apart. And honestly? It probably was. I stayed behind him for a moment, letting silence claw at the edges of his self-control. Then I moved — not touching him — just stepping close enough for my presence to wrap around him like a velvet noose. “You’re trembling,” I said quietly. His exhale stuttered. “I’m not even touching you, and you’re already at the edge, aren’t you?” “Yes, Ma’am… I— I think so.” “You think?” I echoed with a soft laugh. “Oh no, sweetheart. You’re not thinking anything. You’re reacting.” He moaned under his breath — that small, broken sound a submissive makes when they’ve lost the ability to lie to themselves. I circled him slowly, deliberately, letting nothing but my voice tether him in place. “You know what I want?” I whispered. “I want to watch you come undone without a single finger laid on you.” His breath hitched as if he’d been struck. “That’s impossible,” he whispered. I leaned down, letting my lips come close to his ear without touching it. “Then why,” I murmured, “are you already right there?” His entire body shook. Good. I stepped in front of him, lowering myself into the red chair like a queen taking her rightful throne. He kept his eyes down, not daring to look. “Show me your face,” I commanded. He lifted it slowly — flushed cheeks, parted lips, pupils blown wide with need. “You’re sensitive,” I said, voice dipping into velvet dominance. “You’re needy. You’re desperate. And because I said nothing more than a whisper in your ear…” I paused, letting it sink in. “…you’re already fighting not to beg.” He swallowed hard. “Are you?” I asked. “Yes, Ma’am,” he confessed, almost choking on the truth. “Good. Then listen carefully.” I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, letting my voice soften into a dark, seductive purr. “You’re going to hover right at the brink for me. Not from touch. Not from permission. But because your body responds to my voice more than it responds to your own will.” His breath trembled — fast, shaky, frantic. “You feel it, don’t you? That pull right behind your hips?” He nodded. “That ache low in your stomach?” “Yes, Ma’am…” “That tightening right at the base of your spine?” His moan gave me the answer long before his words could. “That’s mine,” I whispered. “That reaction belongs to me.” He whimpered — quiet, helpless, undone. “Now breathe for me,” I instructed. He took a shaky breath in. “Slower.” He obeyed. “Good boy.” His knees wobbled. “One more,” I said. “Nice and slow.” He inhaled deeply — too deeply — and his whole body twitched. “There it is,” I murmured. “Right before your body tries to give you relief.” He let out a desperate noise. “Don’t you dare,” I warned, voice dropping to a threat that melted into his bones. “You don’t come. You don’t twitch. You don’t even think about release unless I say so.” His head fell forward as if the weight of that command alone nearly toppled him. I took his chin and lifted it again — slow, controlled, claiming. “Look at me when I ruin you with nothing but my words.” He obeyed. Barely. “Good,” I whispered. “Because now I’m going to talk you right to the edge… and keep you trembling on it until the only thing left in your world is my voice telling you no.” His lips parted. His breath broke. He was right there. And I hadn’t touched him once. He was trembling so hard his breath came in little broken fragments, his hands still locked behind his back, his eyes wide and fixed on me like I’d become the only anchor he had left. Good. He needed to be that undone for what came next. “Hands behind your back,” I said softly. “Don’t let them move.” “Yes… Ma’am…” “Now listen carefully,” I continued, settling deeper into the red chair. “You’re going to hold the position I tell you. Exactly. No shaking out your limbs, no shifting, no chasing comfort. Service is discipline, not relief.” He swallowed hard. He knew what that meant. He knew his body was already too unstable to make this easy. I smiled. “Present.” He immediately widened his knees, straightened his back, lifted his chest, and locked his gaze just below my chin — the perfect kneeling position. But his breath shivered, rattling through the tension. “Better,” I murmured. “But bring your shoulders back and open your throat.” He obeyed. His neck stretched beautifully when he lifted his chin, exposing everything from clavicle to pulse point. Vulnerable. Trusting. Swaying slightly from the lingering edge I’d whispered him into. “You’re still trembling,” I observed. “I… can’t help it, Ma’am…” I tilted my head with cool amusement. “You can. And you will. Hold your posture.” He tried. Gods, he tried — his whole body fighting the urge to fold forward. I let him struggle for a long moment before I said: “Now lower your gaze to the floor… but keep your head high. No collapsing.”