SkinnyElf

The BDSM "scene" is just a load of smoke and mirrors effectively transferring wealth from the poor to the rich, while perpetuating existing inequalities. Some of the mindsets are so regressive - it's like it's actively designed to kill the spirit. Do something else.

Received a suspicious email on Fetlife from a supposed dominant. While this kind of thing is a regular occurrence, I could not find this exact text online, so here is the original message in full. Hope it helps someone to avoid being scammed...

- I am Mistress Taylor, I moved recently to London. I have been visiting before now but recently had a job transfer and this time I am sure of staying around here for at least 4 years. so I need a submissive partner who is close and can be pleasing, obedient and able to make me achieve my dominant erotic desires. I strongly believed that females are superior. That is why I am not asking you to serve me, it is your duty as a male to serve me and do so with your total devotion. I have a dominant nature that wouldn't go away so looking for a submissive to enslave is only logical. It would be interesting to have a discrete Mistress/slave relationship with you but it is not as easy as you simply wanting something and then getting it. If you are available to be owned and controlled by me and also able to meet with me soon to start your training send me your email and I will send questions that I have for you and some photos. We can continue to communicate from there too. Mistress Taylor.

I responded giving a junk email, to which I rapidly received this follow-up email, accompanied by photos which do not match up with their Fetlife profile photo... Note the very unlikely push towards real-life meetings, and the unusual emphasis on a speedy reply including phone number and incriminating photos...

I am hoping we can arrange a meeting soon but only if I feel that you are serious and passionate about serving me real time. I am not interested in giving online training but to meet and be served.

Anyways I am in London for a long time and willing to meet for erotic and kinky times if I find that we share similar desires and kinks. Adore my photos and you should send me photos of yourself as well no matter how slutty or kinky. For now you should answer my questions as quickly and honestly as you can.

1. Do you believe in female superiority?

2. What is your phone number and can you text with it?

3. Are you willing to be collared and owned for the sake of my pleasures only?

4. Why do you want to be a slave instead of a normal partner?

5. Do you like to dress in a certain way while serving your Mistress?

6. Do you have experience in serving a Mistress as her slave?

7. What do you do for a living?

8. Can You listen and follow directions?

9. Do you have any major fantasies that you’d like to explore?

10. What are your limits?

Finally, I need you to place a number from 0-10 near each "item" on this list of bdsm activities to rate your interest in it with regards to serving as my slave. 10 is the highest rating. If you have no knowledge about the activity then simply write "NK". I hope with these I can be more open to accepting you.

Chastity / Strapon / Pain (etc etc)

 A couple of emails later, the nature of the scam was revealed...

I can meet you on a weekday or weekend but as far as a first meeting is concerned, I have a fetish of meeting in a bdsm facility for the first meeting with my slave. It gives me a proper avenue to orientate and train my slave. I know a place that gave me the thrill of proper domination. I used one of their rooms the last time I was in this area. Let me know if you wish to meet in this place and you could book us a day or two there.

Willing to travel outside of London to meet. Probably not to Aberdeen, mind; but short train journeys are all well and good. Also happy to meet for non-fetish events - gaming, rollerderby, activism, art, gigs. All suggestions considered.

More and more into impact play as the years pass. Being smacked about, constantly, no letup, bruise after bruise, kicked hard and fast until I can barely breathe. Your boot on my face. Insults, vicious insults. I find myself attracted to musclebound gym girls, rough female chavs and any violent woman I read of in the news.

I get perplexed by people who describe sessions in terms of the equipment available. It's not the equipment I'm interested in, it's a connection with the other person. If someone asks me whether I prefer this flogger or that tawse or whatever, it sounds completely alien to the way that I envisage BDSM. You can be a domme/sub with no props whatsoever; and being tied to a particular type of frame or hit with a particular implement, well that's all it is without the mental connection; just stuff.

Yeahhh I still don't enjoy fetish clubs.

I've joined the London Alternative Choir. And you can do the same thing if you please.

Seems that almost everyone currently using CM would be better suited by another site. The pros and pro-seekers - there's tons of dedicated sites. The findoms - again there's tons of sites. The scenesters - FL (Site-That-Cannot-Be-Named-Here-It-Seems) or IC. The relationship-seekers - OKC perhaps? As for the scammers - surely there are easier ways to earn a few pounds.

I know that the only people I've hit it off with on here have been from the other side of the country (Scotland/Wales/the north west), if not the US. London is strangely barren, or maybe they're all out at clubs. When I spot the occasional promising Leicester profile nowadays, and think back to my late 90s-early 00s days of kink-free frustration in Leicester, when the only person I could persuade to meet was someone who honestly thought she had a medical need to drink blood... gah. Blood's a common theme - the only Londoner who got as far as the bedroom with me, only did it because she wanted to slice me up. Eventually I found one of my limits - although it's not as if I'm a stranger to cutting, just depends who's in control of the blade. Ah well. All in the past now.