UCrave2ServeMe

Happy New Year! My Profile will be offline, as I will be updating photos, and my age in anticipation of my upcoming birthday in April.

**If you send me a message, I will view your profile before I view your message. If you have no active profile, I will not view your message. In fact, I will delete it unread.**

MY EXPERIENCE and WHAT FRUSTRATES ME ABOUT MANY ON THIS SITE

IF YOUR GOAL IS A RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY PRIOR TO MESSAGING 

A recent encounter prompted me to share this.

When I engage in conversation (messaging) with men on this site. They often comment on how refreshing to find a real woman. A woman who understands D/s and BDSM focused relationships are not sustainable, they are just for play.

A woman who understands vanilla compatibilty is essential for anything real. If you are living your everyday life, involving your professional obligations, and social commitments, familial obligations, and other activities you enjoy. You need to know that person can fit into that part of your life. She needs to know the same of you.

Presumably you have already discussed and determined an alternative lifestyle, or kink compatibility. Now its time to determine cerebral, physical chemistry and the sustainability of a real relationship

That begins with the mutual sharing of information about our vanilla lives. You can still maintain anonymity, until you are ready to share who you really are out in the world. 

THIS IS WHERE MY FRUSTRATIONS BEGIN. 

Our most valuable commodity in life is our time. Of which we dont have an infinite amount. When we intentionally choose to gift some of our time towards a person of interest. We are saying to you I value you and want to vest my time in getting to know you. That is an act of respect. 

When there is an exchange of information, its communication, sometimes people are busy, that's when you communicate to the other, it may be a few days before I reply which sets expectations regarding the response and is respectul of the other. Sometimes one party determines, maybe this isn't what i want. The respectful thing to do, is to simply say, I have decided we are not compatible after all. Thank you for your willingness to engage and share. I will continue my search and wish you luck with yours.

But...this is Collarspace where many people hide who they are, and their faces behind a blank profile, or one this that is seeking the fantasy...or a very few like me..seeking something real

We are all adults here. Presumably we were raised by someone, and we were taught exceptable behavior and  manners. Most of us have either currently, or at some point had a career of some kind. During that career whatever it is or was, you had to engage with other people. There were/are certain expectations of behavior, manners, and always expected to be on time  To be respectful of others time, as you would want them to be respectful of yours. These are lessons we are taught from kindergarden..

But..on this site more often than not...men will engage with you, there will be a mutual exchange of imformation. Then when you start asking about their life, which is a story that should be easy to put to words...no reply next day (but you see they are online), no reply the second day (but again you see they are online)...and then a third, fourth, etc.

Why these men can't just 'grow a pair', and be honest is beyond me. Because of the randomness of profile circulation. They, make it hard for the real men and real gentlemen to be recognized and appreciated by real women like me.

Now, I find myself spending my time writing this.. to say

IF YOU DONT HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BE RESPECTFUL OF MY TIME....IF YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF ENGAGING IN AN OPEN AND HONEST WAY TO SEE IF WE ARE COMPATIBLE....IF YOU ARE NOT SEEKING A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A REAL WOMAN....IF YOU ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT....IF YOU ARE NOT TRULY ABLE TO RELOCATE OR CO-LOCATE, OR DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES TO TRAVEL....IF YOU ARE NOT SEEKING YOUR LIFE PARTNER.....IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE 'TIME' TO PUT IN THE WORK TO NURTURE & DEVELOP A SUSTAINABLE COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP....IF YOU HABITUALLY OVER PROMISE & UNDER DELIVER....IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS" OR GOOD MANNERS TO REPLY TO OUR MESSAGE EXCHANGE PURSUANT TO OUR CONVERSATION......

BYPASS MY PROFILE...DO NOT SEND ME A MESSAGE!

My 66th birthday was in April. I decided to update my profile with new photos. Please enjoy!

PSA!!! Misogyny and topping from the bottom is alive and well on Collarspace! 

The faux wannabe’s start out nice, but within a few words that are contradictory to who they profess to be, they reveal who they are.  

They go from so nice, to blocking you after you’ve called them out on their inconsistancies.  

These people make it difficult for the men with true hearts, irregardless as to which power dynamic category they self identify as. They take up so much undeserved oxygen.  

The most recent exchange went like this.  

Unnamed User  

greetings Goddess! have You ever been to new york in usa? im 55 single male sub. im eager to serve and worship You. please consider me.

**If you send me a message, I will view your profile before I view your message. If you have no active profile, I will not view your message, so expect no reply.**

Uploading new photos, profile will be available within 48 hours or less!

Please Note:  I am actively seeking submissive men as well. The submissive selection will not save

I am using this journal entry as a reminder for all of us to listen to our instincts.

Distrubing experience, i had a man, [USERNAME REMOVED], contact me, he was nice and courteous, said he was very intrigued and wanted to get to know me better. Not having photos on my profile, as a courtesy, in my reply I sent a photo stating it was from 2 weeks ago, and requested one from him without hats or sunglasses.

He replied that I had sunglasses and he wanted photos from me without sunglasses. Red flag for me that he will be a problem 

I replied, this is not tit, for tat and I dont feel we will suit. Thanked him for his interest and wished him good luck. I then also explained those were not sunglasses, but preion red filter glasses for a sun sensitivity. They don't prohibit clear view of my face at all

In an aggressive accusatory tone, he replied, my photo looked like a strip mall in the US with cars and trucks. And i was not good at faking photos, and I looked like a man in a dress  

i had already said the photo was from 2 weeks ago, I didnt feel the need to say it, but it was while i was in the US and the strip mall was where i had my hair done. His accusatory tone and misogynistic turn, proved to me, from that first reply about the photo, I was correct in feeling he would be a problem. Always trust your instincts.

Nonetheless, i wrote a reply acknowledging, yes it was in a strip mall in the US while I was visiting 2 weeks ago and had he asked about the fact Im in Portugal and it appears the photo is from the US, his question would have been answered. And it would have been a lesson in assuming the worst in people. My theory about that, is people tend to project onto you what they would do and hence the distrust.

He'll never learn the lesson, after he went Jekyll and Hyde, he blocked me.

People live in multiple places and travel all over the world, have photos from everywhere, phone numbers from different countries and if you have questions about where they are actually located, simply ask.

ASSUMPTIONS never work out!