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It has been some time since I was last on this site. Life happens. But I have reactivated my profile and am open to at least chatting with subs once again. Of course, I doubt much has changed and I will likely be frustrated in short order, but I suppose it is worth a try. |
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One minor issue I have with this site is ages on profiles... they can't be trusted. I feel no reason to hide my age, so I keep it accurate (as a matter of fact, I just raised it because I had a birthday). But so many people who message me tell me they're a different age than what's noted, sometimes by many years. So the real question is whether it's deception or laziness. Because changing your age doesn't put your profile back in a long queue for approval... it's instant. |
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If you don't read and comprehend the contents of my profile, why would I want you as a sub? You are showing that you can't follow simple guidelines and have no regard for what I require. If you write to me and you are not a masochist, not within my preferred age range or not nearby you better provide a reason why I should even bother reading your message. Otherwise, don't be surprised if your message goes unanswered. |
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Looks like I was right about a good match coming along. Oddly enough, not local nor within my usual age range. But experience in kink and a desire for pain more than make up for that. I'm looking forward to truly leaving my mark. |
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Made a profile update - apparently they get approved quickly now. But really, it doesn't seem to matter what I have in it. I still get messages from subs who pay no attention to the content. I don't mind a bit of chat, but don't expect anything to come of it if you don't meet my requirements.
Why am I so particular? Because I can be. Male subs far outnumber female doms on any site, so we get to be extremely picky. Plus, I do this because I enjoy it, so why should I settle? It may be rare, but based on past experience, a good match does come along every once in a while. |
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Is my profile really that difficult to understand?
What part of "not currently seeking" do subs not understand? Do they think they're so special that the primary specification in my profile can't possibly apply to them? Or maybe it's "reply rate 0 for rambling messages" or "age preference"? Perhaps it's "located near northeast Ohio" or "no online play"? Of course, this presumes my profile is even being read (which it obviously hasn't been in many cases).
Maybe most subs simply enjoy being ignored in return for ignoring a domme's specifically stated preferences. |
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A new entry is long overdue, so I'm glad they have finally brought back the journal feature.
So... why am I still here if I'm not actively looking for a sub right now? Well, I've gone through many periods where I simply have too much going on or get frustrated or simply lack the desire for sessions. But it always comes back around. And there are a few people around here I converse with, so that's also why I keep my profile active instead of hiding it.
But keep in mind that this doesn't mean I want to hear from anyone who hopes I'll keep them in mind for when I do want to meet subs again. I'm not keeping a list and I delete the majority of messages I receive. |
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Sure, I know it's people in general and not just subs, but the flaking, the ghosting, the lack of communication just gets so old. As does the seemingly complete inability of some to read a profile. Why are you writing to me if you don't meet the basics? I am not going to lower my standards just because you claim to be obedient and willing to serve - that's already in the definition of a sub. And distance, holy fuck is it that difficult to comprehend that I will not consider someone who is states away or in another country?! How desperate do you want to look? It seems that common sense and the realities of life take a back seat to desires around here and that does nobody any good. |
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Up and down... that's my life. Seemed to have a potential relationship developing and then it fell apart. So dating is a thing now. At the same time I'm considering sessions with subs. Would be great if I could find a sub that was the right fit for a real relationship too. Problem is most don't know how to have a public relationship with a domme without acting overly subby all the time. |
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Frustration level is really high right now. At the point of maybe giving it up entirely but I don't want to. I've met a couple of subs recently who seem to be a good fit. We talk a little then meet casually and then we move on to having a session... things seem to go well. We both have a good time. I don't meet anyone unless I really think that we're going to get along and have a good time. Then sporadic contact and then nothing. If things are not working out the way you want them to is it really so difficult to say so? Especially in this lifestyle, it's important to communicate things and if I've done something that you really don't enjoy or you really hoped things would go in a different direction you have to say something. If we've gotten to the point of actually doing things behind closed doors then obviously we get along well enough and trust each other enough that things should go reasonably well. I just wish people didn't have the attitude that it's not important enough to say goodbye and good luck. |
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Sure, it can be difficult to find the right sub or dom. But it's just as difficult to let one go when things just don't seem to be working out. I had to do that last week. I've had this sub for close to two years - not a long time, but things seemed to fit pretty well. Primarily it was intended to be a chastity arrangement that also involved beatings and certain aspects of servitude. He was not the most reliable when it came to scheduling and meeting, but I let a lot of that go because we got along so well. But ultimately, it came down to the fact that he failed to learn. I explained my communication preferences multiple times, but things never changed and it resulted in many missed opportunities. I don't expect a sub to be perfect in all things, but consideration for your domme's preferences is important. My time will be better spent on a sub who pays attention. |
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As a sign of just how much I trust my favorite sub, we tried breath play with nitrous this weekend. I'll admit that I was nervous (I've never done anything like it), but he knew what he was doing so I was willing to give it a try. And I'm glad I did. I liked the effect it had on him and really enjoyed my own experience. It's definitely a fun addition to the things we do together. |
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I love the series Luther. The dark nature of the crimes and the detective who skirts and crosses the "good cop" line call to me. But the current "season" (it's really just a movie) is creepy as fuck and completely awesome. The extreme fetish nature of the killings this time around, the online fantasy aspect, webcams... it hits so close to some things I've heard from subs. |
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I'm not much of a Happy Holidays person. It's a stressful time of year with many not-so-happy memories and it takes a lot for me to find any "Christmas spirit". That being said, there are a few things this year that are making things more tolerable so I'm doing my best to get through it. Hubby always does his best to lessen the stress when possible and put a smile on my face... I couldn't get through the season without him. But it doesn't mean there won't be tears. Hopefully on the other side I'll have some time with subs that will make things better. |
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On a personal level, this has been a bad week. For the most part, it's been things beyond my control... and I hate not being in control. I may seem cruel and heartless, but I can still feel hurt, disappointed, rejected. Just not a good week. |
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It's been awhile since I'd done breath play and I finally had the chance again this weekend. Choking, plastic bag, gas mask... oh it was so good. I've known this sub for a little while now and we keep pushing the boundaries... I love it! And he's not even a pain slut, but he wants to please me so he knows what he needs to endure. We have a very good thing going. |
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Why would you message someone in the hopes of meeting, of making your fantasy a reality and then pussy out? I'm not talking about changing your mind and letting the person know that perhaps you're not ready to take the leap to IRL after all. No, I'm talking about the chicken shit subs who talk a good game, claim they want to meet, even arrange a time and place, and then disappear as the day approaches. I don't chase. If you don't stay in contact, don't confirm leading up to a meet, I won't check in with you and won't be there if you do show up. You're the sub, it's your duty to keep me happy and part of that is making sure things go off without a hitch. Don't waste my time when there are other subs obviously more worthy than you I could be getting to know. |
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It's nice to be able to confirm just how much I enjoy something. Last night it was fisting. It felt so good to get my hand deep inside a sub's ass and to see his reactions. So very satisfying. |
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I trashed the content of my profile and did a rewrite. What I'm looking for has changed over the past few months and I wanted to be more accurate. I doubt it will prevent the messages from subs who want something completely different, but claim they're perfect or those who have no experience but are "willing to do anything". But at least I can say I stated up front exactly what I seek. |
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The consensus among those who responded to my last journal entry was in favor of posting a wishlist. So I have done so in my profile and will here as well: http://amzn.com/w/1AALHEHB90EHA. I appreciate the interest and will be updating it on occasion, as various whims take me. And should you choose to worship by sending me something from the list, send me a message in that regard so I can watch for it and inform you when I receive it. Again, I am not a findom and am doing this for those who wish to serve or show subservience to female authority in the specific manner of offering a material tribute. |
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Please send me a message regarding this entry - I want to know opinions on this.
I have had a few subs ask about sending me gifts, either because they live too far to worship in person or as a thank you. While it's nice to be worshipped with presents, I am not generally a findom. I will not, however, refuse a gift from a sub as a show of their subservience. But I am wondering if it just might be easier to post a link to a wish list on my profile. I am not greedy, but it is more a matter of my own convenience. Whether you would use my wishlist or not, what do you think? |
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Time with pain slut last night was fantastic. I will never stop being amazed at how much pain he can take. And the look on his face when I choke him is delicious. He spoiled me last night too... got me a pair of over-the-knee, black boots with five inch heels. Of course they are as much for him as they are for me. He worshiped my legs all night, fondling, kissing, even felating the toes and heels. And there was a first for me last night as well: I gave him a golden shower. Yes, I was wearing the boots at the time and, yes, he drank it. What a nasty cunt he is... I loved every second of it. He does such a great job of keeping me satisfied. |
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A positive development for a change. Pain slut had a change of heart and realized he could not leave the lifestyle. We had a good talk, he apologized and I have taken him back. (Trust me when I say this is a rarity for me - I seldom forgive.) He and I are such a good match and I know of no one else who can not only handle, but gets turned on by how twisted I am. It makes me happy to have him back and we picked up just where we left off. As to the rest of the lifestyle, I am changing my approach somewhat and will not be meeting others much. I want to focus on what I have and what really works for me and my subs. |
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I am not one for reaching out to others for support and that's not my intention when writing these journal entries. It's primarily a means for me to get things out of my head, to work through them with words instead of spending too much time thinking about them. But obviously I know people are reading this and there are some of you who feel the need to comment. I want to let you know I appreciate the supportive messages I've received recently. It's good to know that people care. I'm a bit of a "lone wolf" in the BDSM world - I prefer one-on-one interactions, I don't socialize with others in the lifestyle, I don't go to parties or attend dungeon sessions. But even I need to know that I'm not alone sometimes and even if someone is writing me from hundreds of miles away to say they feel for me and they're there if I want to talk... that feels good.
For the moment, I'm still not entirely sure which direction I'm taking at this fork in the road. But I've already had some interesting possibilities come to light and I may be willing to give things a chance. |
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A bomb dropped a few days ago and, as with all things of that nature, it was unexpected. I thought things were in a good place with my pain slut, but apparently I was mistaken. It's not that things between us were bad - on the contrary, we had exceptionally good sessions. But he felt he needed more of a primary relationship, which is something I just can't provide. It saddens me to lose the best pain slut I've had and someone I feel like I had a real connection with. It's not something that happens with me often - I try to keep my distance emotionally because of ways I've been hurt in the past.
To be honest, at this point I'm not sure about continuing in the lifestyle. I get messages and offers on a daily basis from all manner of subs. But it's such work to weed through them to see if they are even worth meeting. And then to devote time to cultivating some kind of relationship, even just on a surface D/s level, well I don't know if I still want to do that.
This could just be me reacting to the shock of having yet another person drop out of my life. I don't know right now. |
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There's always an element of the unknown with any new relationship, especially when a person is a recent convert to the D/s world. Fantasy and anticipation are big elements here and you can never be sure until the time comes, that someone is going to live up to expectations or even if they can handle a modicum of what they claim to desire. Reality can never match fantasy, but the two can come close and, if you're lucky, reality sometimes brings the unexpected in a good way. This happened for me last night with a sub who's not only new for me, but new to submission entirely. I am always hesitant to take on D/s "virgins"- I prefer experience as both a time saver and an assurance that someone is truly devoted to the lifestyle. But he had been doing well obeying me for a couple of weeks already, performing tasks, edging, doing everything I required of him. Last night was the ultimate test of whether he could truly submit and obey in my presence. And he performed better than I hoped. There is definitely still some training that he needs, but his stamina was impressive and he took more pain than I expected, which makes me very happy. |
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There is a level of satisfaction I expect from my subs. My time with pain slut last night left me not only satisfied, but satiated. I think it would amaze people what we do with and to each other. Safe to say we once again wore each other out. I love the connection we have - I know what gets him going and how hard I can go on him, and he knows my triggers. What we have is not something that will ever get stale - so many things still to try and boundaries to push. |
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There is an urge, a need that never fully disappears. A release that must be fulfilled. It builds, slow yet steady, until I reach a point of desperation. If unable to find my release, to find prey on which to release my predator, I find release with myself. No prey to endure the pain, to bleed for me, I take the pain myself, bleed to satisfy the beast. Surviving as a sadomasochist is seldom easy, but it cannot be ignored. Satisfaction is the only relief... for a short time. |
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Had a fantastic Saturday afternoon this past weekend. Spent four hours getting tattooed. Almost constant, buzzing pain... I love it. And it was just my first session on this one. I have another few hours to go the next time around. Of course I want it to be done now, now, now... but the anticipation is pretty sweet. |
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Where to begin? I had such a great night with my pain slut. It was nice to have the opportunity to really take our time for a change, even doing the dating thing by going out to dinner. And we up the pain level every time we're together. I love seeing all the marks on him when I scratch and bite everywhere, then cut into his chest. His blood has a peppery taste... I can't get enough of it. And the look in his eyes when I choke him and he falls deeper into space... mmmm. He is such a perfect slut for me, taking all the pain and making sure I'm satisfied. I lost count of how many times he made me cum (though I know it was double digits)... even waking me up early in the morning with fingers inside me. I am so glad to have found him and can't wait for next time. |
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This was a fantastic Black Friday. I spent the afternoon with my pain slut, having him prove how much of a beating he can take. He always manages to impress me with the amount of pain he willingly suffers at my hand. The fact that he bleeds for me is such a turn on - loved carving "slut" into his chest this time.
We talked about how much fun we could have adding a pain switch to the mix. She would sub to me, we would beat him together then have fun ourselves while we forced him to watch but not participate. |
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I am once again taking part in National Novel Writing Month, which entails writing a 50,000 word novel by the end of November. A personal challenge, though I did publish one of my novels a couple years back. This time around my novel has no BDSM involved (shocker!), but it is a horror so I get to indulge my blood fetish to a certain degree. Plus, I get to kill off ex's and others I'm not very fond of in lovely gruesome ways. It really is quite cathartic. But by the time December gets here I will most definitely be in need of writing another piece or two of erotica. |
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A little pain for myself today - I got a new tattoo. It's been a couple years since my last one so it took a minute or two to get used to that particular sting of pain again. But it definitely felt good. I hadn't planned on getting one for a few months yet (I have a gift certificate for a particular place), but a shop near my house was doing a fundraiser so I thought why not. The sting, the throb... I'm really glad I did it. |
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Had my first session with my pain pet yesterday. Oh I like him very much. So little holding back, just all out. He took a lot... a hell of a lot... and wanted more. I marked him up, made him bleed, choked and suffocated him... and he kept going. He has a wonderfully high pain threshold. And he made sure I was well satisfied in every way. I can't wait to explore even further next time. |
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Well I have a new sub... the pain slut I've been searching for. Had just a preview last night of what he can take and how he can satisfy me... delicious. I am looking forward to our first full session when I can beat the hell out of him. |
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So I went and got my nipples pierced today. Been considering it for awhile and figured it was about time. Now I'm a sadomasochist... I love pain, giving and receiving. Having my nipples pinched, pulled and bitten is a good thing, as far as I'm concerned. But holy fuck... getting them pierced HURT! I'm really glad I did it though... love how they look. But I thought I'd share that in case anyone out there is considering it. ;-) |
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I have a big birthday this week. Not a major thing for me... age is just a number. And I know for a fact that I am a happier, more open person than I have ever been. I feel like I'm finally the real me. The only issue I have is the fact that I won't get to celebrate this week the way I truly want to. Forget birthday spankings for me... I want to give some out! |
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It has been too long since I've had the opportunity to meet and beat someone. I mean truly beat, not just a spanking and a few flicks of a flogger. Partly it's a busy schedule and partly it's lack of good candidates. I'm hoping to remedy this very soon. |
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Tonight I will have a sub sign a slavery contract for the first time. I have never used a contract before, but I have to say I do like the concept. And with my background and profession, I really enjoyed drafting and revising the contract too. It's not only the specificity but the fact that, with everything in writing, there are no excuses for not knowing the rules. It makes things a bit more solid, more of a real relationship. I like that. |
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I am getting tired of flaky subs. I don't know if it's just in the nature of submissives, but there seem to be so many who send a message or two, ask to chat and disappear. Then they expect me to remember who they are or want to chat with them when they show up a week or two later. Even worse are the ones who session one time then don't even have the courtesy of sending a message afterwards to say "it was fun but I need something else" or whatever the case may be. So much of this lifestyle is trial and error to figure out what really works for you. But there's no call for rudeness.
Quite honestly, if I were to ever find a sub I considered a perfect match for me, I would likely stop looking for more. I do like variety, but one reason I look for it is that I haven't found a sub who has everything I need. I doubt it will ever happen, but I keep looking, playing, getting frustrated, moving on. |
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Surprising as it may seem, I sometimes meet playmates who have no interest in bdsm. I recently met an older man who was quite sweet. To be honest I thought he was perhaps too sweet for my taste. He was very polite over drinks... it took him more than an hour before he even touched my hand. But I was willing to give him a chance when we got a little privacy. And I'm glad I did. If there's one thing that can be said for "sweet" men, it's that they're not far removed from being submissive and are very willing to follow directions in order to please. He was rather satisfying and I might consider meeting him again sometime to see just how far into submissiveness I can take him. |
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Recently played with new-to-the-lifestyle sub, aka sweetie. Oh I like him... very much. He takes pain really well, even begging for more... I can use his ass hard... he responds really well to bondage, whether his arms are bound to the bed or his cock and balls are tied tight. And it's not just what I can do to him. He is great with his mouth... and his fingers... damn! Yes, I am a very satisfied Mistress. |
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Over the years I've discovered that this lifestyle is in a constant state of flux. To some degree it's understandable, but it's not easy to get used to. A prime example is my subs. I played with my pet every couple of weeks last year. The last time I chatted with him, he was getting over being ill. That was probably a month ago and I've heard nothing. So we're done. I'm disappointed that he couldn't bother staying in contact. I'm also a little sad to lose him; he was very good and he had a primal side that we had barely begun to explore.
But then there are changes for the better. Yesterday I had coffee with a new sub who I've been chatting with for a couple of weeks. He is completely new to the lifestyle and looking to explore. We have a lot in common and both feel a connection... I even lost track of time when we were talking, which rarely happens to me. And we haven't even played, but he asked permission to list himself as my sub on FL. I have a very good feeling about him.
Of course, I still have my wonderful slut, who I would love to see more often than I do right now. And I have a couple of subs I'll be having sessions with soon who will likely just be one-time things, but fun all the same. Life is change... and ultimately, I hope, for the better. |
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It was such a pleasure to work my slut last night, taking him from one toy to the next, increasing in length and thickness each time. I loved fucking his ass nice and slow, hearing him groan, making him cum repeatedly, turning him into a complete whore. And he satisfied me in return... oh so talented. We were both completely tired out after a few hours. |
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Last night I met a sub (just for drinks) who is going to broaden my horizons in the lifestyle a bit. I've had a curiosity about latex for awhile but never had someone conveniently nearby to meet with who had a latex fetish. Interestingly, this sub first contacted me on AM, giving me a nice synopsis of his fetish and experience. He is older than I would usually be interested in, but his level of experience and knowledge made meeting him more intriguing. So we met at a pub and chatted for a couple of hours. It was nice to have such an open conversation with someone who really gets what it means to be in the lifestyle and explore fetishes and desires. His enthusiasm over latex and the play possibilities it holds was infectious. He even brought along a few of his hoods for a show and tell. Seeing him in them was definitely a turn on. And the fun I can have with him with edging and breath play... damn. He has a good size collection of latex outfits and gear, so when we do get together to play he's going to bring a lot of it and I can choose what he wears. Honestly, I didn't think it would get to me that quickly, but seeing someone in latex, feeling it, seeing it move as he breathed... it was just damn hot! |
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I had a date with my Dom tonight. For various reasons we hadn't been able to see each other for a couple of months. I missed him and it was so nice to feel his hands on me again. He spanks harder than anyone I've ever been with... I love the way he makes my ass burn. Plus, I even have a few bite marks this time around. And omg the way he edges me and then lets me explode. Mmmm... it's a wonderful release. |
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My slut was so good last night. He's still getting over being ill and he handled everything like a champ. I like how the new restraints worked out, especially in combination with the toy we picked out the day before. Loved seeing my slut tied up, lubed and fully enjoying the ass fucking I was giving him. |
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Had a session with my good boy last night. He has quite a nice collection of restraints. I love how much he's into bondage and impact play. It was so nice seeing how red I could make his ass. And it was the first time I'd played with someone in a straight jacket... omg I love restraining someone like that! He really was such a good boy, doing what he was told and taking everything I did without complaint. I edged him for a couple hours before he was allowed release and he never disobeyed. Hearing him whine was so lovely. |
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Enjoyed a session with my new sub last night (aka my slut). I had my finger in his ass and him begging to cum within ten minutes of getting to the motel. Oh he was so much fun. Very attentive and a quick learner. I lost count of how many times he managed to get me off. By the time I made him cum for the third time (almost getting him to sub space in the process), he was exhausted. And yet he still managed to get his Mistress off again. So very glad to own this slut. |
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I am a very happy domme. I met a new sub for lunch today. He had already sparked my interest via the messages we've exchanged and text conversations we've had. (Along with the fact that he is so very into ass play.) And he did not disappoint in person. We had a leisurely chat over a bite to eat and then he showed me he is well worth my time. I really enjoyed the way he used his mouth and tongue... and that was just above the waist. And he is so obedient and responsive... very satisfying. I look forward to getting him behind closed doors and really exploring the ways he can satisfy me. |
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I had a rather disappointing date this week. It was a first time meeting with someone who wanted to sub. He lives nearby, was young and cute, and seemed very willing to obey. But when we met, he wouldn't shut up. Just talked about work and his car and travel... bored me. I don't know if it was nerves, but I tried giving him a chance, even getting him naked. He was obedient, but I could tell he's not truly a sub. At least I didn't waste much time with him. |
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I feel the need to vent just a little. I write erotica. It's mostly a personal thing, though lately I've been considering submitting some stories for consideration in anthologies. Anyway, I realize that everyone has different tastes and sensibilities when it comes to all things sexual. But if you have a website providing porn clips and cams that cover the spectrum, why restrict the stories people can post? Admittedly, there needs to be a line somewhere and I think keeping kids and animals off limits is a good thing. But when the site has clips of (faked) sexual assault and various forms of bdsm and kink, why do they disallow so much of that in stories users want to post. The end of the restrictions is "... and other disgusting things." Really?! That covers a hell of a lot of territory. And who decides? The site owner, the users? I'm glad I could post my story on FL, but it bothers me that I couldn't 'spread the love' elsewhere. |
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My Owner is convinced I need to give my other sub a second chance. In his words "he's 22 and stupid!" So I am still talking with him, but I haven't decided just yet if I really want to keep him. I'm keeping my options open and will still consider others for the time being.
But my pet... oh, he is almost too good to be true. We played today at lunch and I discovered that he has a bit of a primal side. He was more relaxed this time around and let go a little. Hopefully I can bring more of that out in him; I would love to have someone to go primal with on a regular basis. And the way he responded when I bit him... mmmm. not only was there no whimper, it turned him on. He is such a good match for me. |
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My new sub is working out so well... we are such a good match and a session with him is so satisfying. But I think I need to let my other sub go. Lately he has been failing tasks and is simply not acting as a sub should. Because he's so enthusiastic when we're together, I've perhaps been giving him a little too much leeway. But if I'm not being satisfied, what's the point of retaining ownership? He obviously does not appreciate it as he should. I suppose that means there's an opening. |
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I have a new sub. I have been directing him via chat and text for a few days and we met in person for the first time today. We definitely click. And he is so obedient. Oh this is going to work out nicely. |
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I'm being very particular with the people I'm meeting at the moment. For one thing, I have no desire to meet any doms. I have one right now and he is perfect for me. Apart from him and my Owner, I have no desire to submit to anyone else. As to subs, they have to be very on point with what I seek. I don't have the time to spend teaching a novice or breaking one in. I am willing to discuss possibilities, but will not even consider meeting if the match isn't obvious. I'm not saying any of this to be difficult; the truth is I get a lot of messages on here and I'm hoping to save everyone a little time and effort. |
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So I met the dom a couple nights ago... and I'm still aching! It was such a good time. He quite literally picked me up and threw me on the bed to start. And oh my god, he can spank! I don't think I have ever been bare-handed spanked as hard as he did it... after only a couple smacks my ass was already bright red. It felt *so* good. And he has an amazing bag of tricks in other areas too. It was an exhilirating, painful, exhausting, fun night. Can't wait to do it again soon! |
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Life has been so busy lately I haven't had much playtime (except with my Owner). I did meet a potential new sub a few nights ago... he's a possibility. But I'm really looking forward to this week. I have a play date with the dom I met for coffee not long ago and we've been discussing going primal. I have a feeling I'm going to be sore for days! Plus I'm also meeting my sub this week. I've been domming him via chat for weeks and I think he finally deserves some RT. Such a fun week ahead! |
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It was fun to meet and chat with a dom last night. We initially met on twitter, of all places, and then he found me on FL. A relatively innocuous meeting (we actually chatted about a lot of website stuff) but the potential for play is there. Based on what he told me about his violent streak, we would make a good pair. There are relationship issues on his side, so I'll let him take the lead on where things go. He would definitely be worth the time though... physically my type, intellectually interesting... and big, strong hands. |
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Recent events have revealed that I might not be so much domme or sub but actually primal. With my love of rough play, biting, blood... it seems to fit. I really want to find playmates to explore this with. I'm not going to quit domming, just supplement it a bit to get all the satisfaction I can. |
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A couple nights ago I played with my vampire dom and, for the first time, he took blood from me. (My Owner finally gave the ok for it.) It felt awesome and the effect it had on him was pretty amazing. The funny thing is that we discovered I've got iron skin or something... it took attempts on three different areas on my body before the lancet actually broke skin enough to get some blood flow. Apparently the inside of the wrist is the key point on me. I still have a bit of a bruise on my wrist where he sucked. Mmmmmm. |
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Went to another munch last night. Knew a few people this time, so it wasn't too bad. Oddest thing was that the Dom who introduced me to fire play was there. Haven't seen him for a few years and he moved to Georgia not long ago. Really puts me in the mood for fire again. |
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Last night was interesting. Met with some vanilla friends at the rib fest. Owner was with me, as was my vampire dom. Ended up running into my pain slut and introducing him to everyone (as a friend, of course... though Owner and dom knew what he was to me). Then a few of us went to a bar and one vanilla friend gave a glimpse of her inner freakiness... nothing bdsm, but more about her sex life than we might have guessed. Then Owner and dom and I went to a friend's place for some gaming (it was about 1am by this point). Dom and I were partly secluded... he was scratching and pinching me as we gamed and had me stroking him at one point... all without anyone else there knowing. I was so fucking horny by the time we left! |
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Went to my first munch last night. I suppose it was fine. Everyone was friendly enough, but I'm just not all that into crowds. Felt a little too much like "fresh meat" a few times and I'm not big on that. |
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It is so nice to spend time with my vampire dom, outside on a warm summer night, as he commands me to pleasure myself for his viewing enjoyment. |
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First real playdate with slave last night and I am a very happy Mistress today. He is so obedient, took the pain I inflicted with barely a whimper and his (no longer) virgin ass opened with ease. The night was a bit of a first for me too... first time I've fucked a guy under the age of 20. ;-) |
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I have acquired a slave. He is young, new to the lifestyle and wants to experience everything. This makes me very happy. |
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Arranging a threesome with two sub boytoys is not as easy as people seem to think. There's a lot of logistical maneuvering involved! Especially when trying to plan how best to surprise the newbie sub when he has no idea there will be a second sub involved. |
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Quite honestly, I am unbelievably pissed off right now. I gave someone a second chance... well, a third chance actually. A sub who claimed to have very few limits and would even indulge my craving for cutting. I was ready to meet him tonight and then... nothing. No word from him all day, no texts... nothing. I have an overwhelming need to sink my teeth into flesh NOW! |
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So much fun with my pain slut last night. I love how much abuse he can handle. He was such a good boy, I let him paddle me. The welts he left are delicious. |
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I get an overwhelming amount of mail on this site. Weeding out the subs who fail to pay attention to my specifics, trying to find just the right boy for my needs... it's taking some getting used to. The funny thing is I've managed to find quite a fine stud sub through a non-kink site I'm on. But I'm still here, hoping one or two will make it through the gauntlet and be worthy of a beating. |
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