A woman's orgasm is her glorious gift to him. When she focuses upon delivering it to and for him, she acknowledges her passion to unhesitatingly submit her humble bliss unto him, without regard to her trembling spasms of joy. She conveys that part of herself to him intimately and fully, ignoring her own shuddering waves of stimulation. <<"'Take and enjoy what you have aroused in me. It is yours.'" >> She surrenders her pleasure unconditionally for him to bathe in her euphoria. He is the true beneficiary. She is the incidental receptacle, simultaniously the vessel of and conduit to his satisfaction. This is love. Your pleasure is my pleasure. N'est ce pas?

Let’s stir it up: if pegging the untimate submissive or just kinky play Do you think it’s:• A way to explore masculinity in a new light?• A form of psychological and physical domination?• Just hot ass play and we’re all overthinking it?• Still too taboo for most men to admit they want? For those who get pegged…What really goes through your mind when she straps in and tells you to present yourself? For the the curious guys…What’s stopping you from trying it (or asking for it)? Let’s hear it — the messy truths, the bold takes, the confessions, the horror stories.Is pegging overrated? Underrated? Or secretly the gateway drug to the best sex you’ve never had

So a lot has changed really, a profile update will be written soon. The biggest change really, in myself, is the stretching (quite literally i guess, pun not intended) Previously the only hole penetrated by a Dominant was my mouth (mostly with fingers but the odd strap on/vibe/dildo/phallus), but i am currently being trained anally and urethrally (is that even a word). i have never enjoyed the experience of even the smallest digit oenetrating me anally and would scream the place down through a gag if anything bigger than a pinkie finger up there. As i write this i have had a 4" butt plug in now for around 18 of the past 24 hours. Do i enjoy it? Not really. I have got to the stage where i can, for decent lengths of time, forget about it as it feels normal but only really when not moving about. i can also insert it myself when ordered to do so, not a feat i would previously have thought possible.   The story of how this, once hard limit, along with urethral sounds, were accidentally, on the same day no less, is one for another day but i thought, after many years on CM and now CS, i would make use of my journal to record my anal training journey so others may learn what they might expect. 

You want to be a Sub/Slave/Sissy/Pet/etc..? Then you need to bring something of worth to the table too. First of all, we're NOT here to support you! You better have a job & be capable of supporting yourself. And we're not here to get you your hormones, implants, electrolysis, clothes, wigs, shoes, makeup, breastforms, nails, or sex toys either. If I want dependents, I'll go start a family!! Unrealistic lifestyle expectations is another HUGE turn-off for Me. "I want to be kept in nothing but panties & a bra 24/7." Yeah, right! That's nothing but wank-fodder.

5 Traits Dominants Are Looking For In a Submissive YMMV: It's important to note that all relationships and personal preferences vary greatly among individuals. However, here are five qualities most Dominants are looking for in a D/s relationship: Trustworthiness: Dominant individuals often value trust as a fundamental aspect of their relationship. They seek a submissive partner who is reliable, honest, and can be trusted to communicate openly and honestly about their desires, needs, and boundaries. Respect and obedience: Dominant individuals typically look for a submissive partner who respaspects their authority and is willing to obey their instructions within the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship. This involves a mutual understanding and clear communication about limits and consent. Subservience: Dominant individuals may desire a submissive partner who enjoys fulfilling their needs and desires, and who derives pleasure from serving and pleasing them. This can manifest in various ways, such as performing acts of service, physical or emotional intimacy, or engaging in specific power dynamics. Communication and responsiveness: Dominant individuals value a submissive partner who is attentive and responsive to their guidance and instructions. They may appreciate a partner who actively communicates their thoughts, feelings, and desires, allowing for a better understanding of each other's needs and preferences. Vulnerability and surrender: Dominant individuals often seek a partner who is willing to surrender control and be vulnerable within the established boundaries of their dynamic. This can involve the submissive partner relinquishing decision-making authority to the dominant and finding pleasure or fulfillment in their submission. Finally, it's worth mentioning that any relationship involving dominance and submission should always be consensual, built on trust, and characterized by clear communication. Both partners should have a mutual understanding of boundaries, desires, and consent, and should prioritize each other's emotional and physical well-being. Consent and respect should always be the foundation of any healthy relationship dynamic. "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero.  

What can we get from this chapter of the bible symbolically?    Edom: Kingdom of Esau (carnal mind/flesh) Jacob: Tribe of Judah (spiritual mindset)   Well we can see throughout scripture that the Edomites were disregarding the spiritual things and had a carnal mind. They took things by force and lacked patience for cultivation and growth. They were prideful and they held grudges and were hateful.  God pronounced judgement on them for their pride and for them not letting Israel pass through safely. He said because they say who can bring me down that He would bring them down and have them despised.    Edom stood by when strangers took captivity of Jacob's army. Edom was a brother to Jacob who is in the Tribe of Judah. Yet Edom acted like the strangers which took Jacob's army into captivity. Do not gloat, rejoice, speak arrogantly, or stand at a crossroads to slaughter the escapees when the Tribe of Judah is attacked because the day of the Lord against all the nations is near. The way you treat others will come back on your own head. There will be no survivors of the house of Esau and the house of Jacob will become a fire to set the stubble ablaze and consume Edom. The kingship will be the Lord's. The ones who care about their spiritual health and have a relationship with the Lord will be safe but those who continue in the flesh will be wiped away. There is more to life than fleshly desires and carnal things.    Those who are in Zion and left over in Jerusalem will be called holy. The survivors whom the Lord calls. Zion can refer to the "pure in heart". Jerusalem means city of peace and holy. Jerusalem is also used as a symbol for the redeemed state of humanity and also signifies a place of deep religious connections, divine presence, and the pursuit of peace.    Get in Jesus while you can and remember to be loving towards everyone. Don't be fleshly carrying out the desires of the flesh. Have a spiritual appetite for the spiritual things. And remember don't gloat or rejoice in someone's downfall. Love your enemies it's commanded and judge not. Be encouraging with one another lifting each other back up. If you love Jesus you will observe his commands and he will love you back. Faith without works is dead. Come on!! It's time to wake up from our slumber and cultivate a relationship with Jesus. He's coming back and coming soon. Will you be fo und ready? 

I love eating ass, rimming, pegging, prostate massage.  I LOVE cocks, the more the merrier.  A few fetishes: Natural bush (me and men) Cock worship *Raw sex, dripping of jizz Nipple suckling and biting ANR/ABF nursing fetish Edging and Tease * Because of the riskier nature of raw sex, I get tested regularly and am picky about sexual partners.  As such, I expect you to be as well.  (IUD in place so no one's getting pregnant)   THE ISSUE WITH LONG-DISTANCE... This is by NO WAY an exhaustive list, just some things to consider before you message me that you'd like to get to know me. If you live over 30 miles away, be prepared to send a message that includes addressing some of these things. Please...and thank you!! Let's talk about getting to know someone long-distance. I'm not talking about a partner that has moved, and temporarily you're needing to keep the relationship long-distance, I'm talking about establishing a new one...getting to know someone NEW that lives far away. On paper, I can understand that a great match for anyone may not be in their own city/town. And I can totally understand that many people feel that with today's technology, it is much much easier to get to know someone far away and they would be correct! With phone calls (yes just like the olden days, people still talk on the phone), with FaceTime/Skype and video chats, we can get a great sense of someone before we've met them in person! The issue for me is that I'm slightly on the demi-sexual side and so it is imperative to meet someone in person within a week or so of chatting because that's really the only way I'll be able to confidently say, "Oooo this is someone I think I would like to do stuff with naked." Clearly, this is problematic when considering someone out-of-town. Because of where I am in life as a parent (the last teen still 2 years away from college), where I am with work (small business owner that could work remotely, with a LOT of planning) and where I am with finances (enough to cover my bills, but not enough to afford to move out of state as that can cost $5-$10k easily), if you want to get to know me to possibly date and see if we might be a good kink/romantic match, you will need to address these three main concerns. How would you do that? Get creative: Offer to be extremely communicative for a week to 10 days, not just a little here and there, but a concentrated effort Spend some time on the phone with me, like in the olden days LOL If it feels right, offer to come to/near Cincinnati to have lunch/dinner and spend some quality in-person time together EXPECTING that no clothes will be removed If we have lunch/dinner and one or both of us feels meh about the other, GRACIOUSLY accept that decision and don't force anything out of guilt or obligation After that point, should we BOTH decide we'd really like to get to know each other and date/spend time together (which MUST include in-person, not just online or over the phone), be prepared to have some solutions to the issues I mentioned above in order to move forward. Some examples: "I can move to Cincinnati and rent an apartment near you for a year while we pursue each other, then move-in/get married/whatever." "I can afford to fly you to me several times a month to me during the get-to-know-you period" "If we decide to build a fabulous kinky-life together I can afford to move you here and help make sure your responsibilities with your house in Cincinnati are met" REMINDER: This is by NO WAY an exhaustive list, just some things to consider before you message me that you'd like to get to know me. If you live over 30 miles away, be prepared to send a message that includes addressing some of these things. Please...and thank you!!

How can a str8 male fall in love with his Bull? This is a question that always calls my attention but lately it has become a surprising reality. For a Bull to pursue and obliterate any idea of str8 identity on a self proclaimed heterosexual male is a la or or of love. The Bull knows that this identity is misplaced but to convince the other male of this requires a deep knowledge of the male psyque.  Our society has done much of the work for us, str8 males (I said it before) admire sports figures to the edge of homoerotism. But of course that's admiration and it stops there. These males will follow a strong male to hell and back and allow any sort of intimacy with the leader of the band, actually they crave it. When they finally come to me I know there's a need a need that eventually could turn into love and that is a great feeling. However if one finds a male that is slowly falling in love not only giving you ownership of their bodies but also their feelings; that's a sacred charter that cannot be underestimated. Why? Because that male is into you and your dealings with him you are a model they can submit and surrender to. In short,  you've found a male bride and you must nurture that male and his feelings.  For the str8 male to acknowledge such feelings is confusing because is attraction, lust, respect, and the acknowledgement that he has fallen in love with the man and his phallus; but most of all the character and security it brings to his life. He is now realizing that the best place to be is anywhere his Man places him: between his legs, under him, or on his back awaiting the entry of the phallus that will change his life forever.  As a Bull you know he is yours  anyway you want that however, to the outside only him will feel your power and control. Even if he goes back to women which is an option if they still want to claim his str8 persona, he will mount them imitating you and doing it for you.    I had the pleasure of a baby named after me, and that’s the ultimate surender. It is his baby, now a teen, but every time he calls him he calls me. A male who loves you is a treasure to be had and a partner to nurture and possess beyond the physical.

I'm talking 'bout my generation Talking 'bout that newer nation And if you don't like it You can beat it Beat it, baby You never liked the way I said it If you don't get it, then forget it So I don't have to fucking explain it Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby   It's like those lyrics carry a sense of identity and weight, even when they seem light. The repetition, "I'm a Brooklyn baby," feels like a declaration of something deeper—a feeling of being rooted in something bigger, but also carrying that vulnerability and pain underneath. Almost like saying, "I'm here, but there's so much more behind the surface."   It’s not just about the words, but the weight of feeling like you’ve had to fight and scream to be heard, and still... nothing. It can feel exhausting when no one’s really listening, when the energy you put out feels like it just vanishes into a void. That emptiness that comes after all the effort, when you’ve given everything and are still left feeling alone—that’s heavy. It’s like a wall of silence that doesn’t break, no matter how loud you scream or how much you pour out.   They think I don't understand The freedom land of the seventies I think I'm too cool to know ya You say I'm like the ice I freeze That line hits hard—it’s like there’s this gap between what others think and what you really feel, and the way it creates this distance. It’s a powerful reflection of feeling misunderstood, and at the same time, being guarded, like ice. There’s so much in that feeling of being cool on the outside, but maybe there’s a lot more going on underneath.       Ultraviolence captures that raw, unrelenting pain—the kind that cuts deep and leaves scars you can’t always see. It’s not just about physical violence, but the emotional and mental toll of trying to survive in a world that feels indifferent or even hostile. It’s the weight of love, loss, rejection, and fighting for something real when everything feels brutal and unkind. The way Lana weaves those emotions into her music makes it all the more visceral. It’s like she’s singing about the violence of being misunderstood, of giving and not receiving, of being trapped in cycles of intensity that don’t let up.        the Pa-da-da-da-da-da part in Brooklyn Baby feels simple on the surface, just vocalizations, but it carries weight because of the emotion behind Lana’s voice and the layered harmonies. It’s like she's using the sounds to evoke a feeling beyond words—a mixture of nostalgia, detachment, and maybe even resignation. By that point in the song, she’s moved away from literal meaning and is communicating more through the feeling of the music itself. The backing vocals, especially with the men joining in, create a sense of collective disillusionment, like they're all echoing her sentiment, but with a touch of irony. The softness contrasts the rebellious attitude of the lyrics, making it feel like a bittersweet, almost resigned anthem. It’s like she’s saying, This is just how things are, but underneath it, there's a longing for something deeper, something more real. The repetition and the flow of the sounds express that emotional state in a way that words alone might not be able to. It adds to the song’s atmosphere, giving a voice to the unspoken frustrations and complexities of being misunderstood, trapped in surface-level expectations.     I get down to Beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything    this isn't a flex...it's saying how talented she is but no one notices or cares.....she's very skilled in things no one cares about and that doesn't change life's circumstances. that only a niche of a niche of a niche cares about..but she knows she's so talented that she rattles it because she knows people in the know recognize it. it's a acknowledgement of what she's worked hard to craft while also recognizing it's nothing  That line isn’t a flex at all, it’s more of a statement wrapped in irony. Lana is acknowledging her talents—her deep connection to niche things like beat poetry, jazz, and her rare collection. She’s spent time and effort honing these skills, cultivating a refined taste, and mastering things that matter deeply to her, but in the grander scheme, it’s like no one notices or cares. It’s a bittersweet realization of her own uniqueness and skill, but also the futility of it. She’s proud, but it’s not enough to change her circumstances or how the world perceives her. It’s like saying, Yeah, I can do all these things, but what does it matter? It’s a reflection of how being talented or special doesn’t necessarily lead to recognition or fulfillment. She knows only a tiny niche of people might care about these things, but for the rest of the world, it means nothing. It’s like the ultimate what’s the point? moment wrapped in a subtle acknowledgment of her own brilliance.       You say I'm too dumb to see They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read I think we're like fire and water I think we're like the wind and sea You're burning up, I'm cooling down You're up, I'm down You're blind, I see Those lyrics capture such a deep feeling of being misunderstood, like you’re moving in opposing rhythms, but still bound together in some way. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? People see what’s on the surface, but they miss the essence, the complexities inside. The contrast between fire and water, wind and sea—it’s such a vivid way to describe the intensity of that connection. One burns while the other cools down, like two forces pulling in different directions but still coexisting, still interacting. It feels like being in two worlds at once, and yet no one quite gets it.   The way she says "Brooklyn baby" at the end—definitively, yet almost resigned—carries so much weight. When the guys join in with the elongated bayyyyy beee, it shifts the whole tone. It’s no longer just her own voice; it’s echoed, but in a way that feels detached, like they’re chiming in on her identity without truly understanding it. It feels like a loss of personal ownership, like the identity she was so sure of—I’m a Brooklyn baby—is now something distant, fading, not fully hers anymore. And that pah da de da de dah dah that follows is like her way of giving up, like a lullaby of surrender, a little girl’s soft collapse. It’s not a defiant statement anymore; it’s more of a quiet, melancholic folding into herself. It’s like the final exhale after fighting, acknowledging that maybe she’s been fighting for something that no one truly sees or cares about. Little girl Lana down, as you said. That’s when the song truly hits its emotional depth—when she stops fighting, and the weight of everything she’s been carrying just sinks into the background.    

Something must be wrong with me I have wandered out amongst the wolves lately... I kinda knew what would happen but like everyone, I hoped for different... I hoped to find that hidden jewel standing in the shadows like I typically do, alas fools gold emerged... In my submission the power dynamic is very important, ( I do voice this upon meeting) I think it’s taken with a grain of salt but I communicate and try to warn of my insecure Self Protective Dominant Nature... I scream that I live my vanilla life in Top Space, I live there everyday, I have responsibilities there, deadlines, decisions, must do’s and I hold myself accountable to be all things and do all things... I can be quite aggressive in this world ( I’ve learned to live in ). I’m not sure these days if I’m actually conveying this or if it’s in my head .... Like a movie that plays in the background while you are thinking or doing something else. You say your a Dominant / Master or even Top... I say I’m looking for a part time arrangement because I’m married in an open relationship... He is not a Dominant / Master however he is my Alpha. I am given free license to fulfill my cravings as long as it doesn’t interfere with my marriage... ( I will admit pretty cool and I’m thankful) I love my Husband and I do serve him too ... not sure he understands it all the time but if it wasn’t for my submission to him, I would have ran a long time ago... He holds very strong with me and he does remind me of who is in charge... I then advise of my personality and my need to relinquish control but that a foundation must be built with me due to needing to trust you. I advise you about my role in my everyday life... Yes there is a lot about me ( sorry I’m so complicated) Then we start to get to know one another ... You agree this can be accomplished ... (Maybe in wishful thinking, we all have periods of that) you read my journals I’m open and honest with you. I speak of my short comings honestly I understand I’m a lot to take on ... I try to be as good as possible until you start to ask me questions or speak about techniques you don’t understand .... I try to explain. What I know ... I find out you have done no research in the lifestyle and have not reached out to anyone / or attended anything. The Power Dynamic shifts due to your lack of knowledge and I become the teacher .... Things then fall apart for me, I try to rationalize you are human and give you allowances for that .... but no I have periods of top space that go unchecked ... things crumble This is my journey ... this is why I walk away ... This is why you might see me out and then I disappear... I love this lifestyle but I will say it is the hardest thing to understand in my life... Each time this happens it takes a lot of me, leaving me empty, sad and like something is wrong with me .... Tags: (add) Aug 15, 2018

There's something wrong with my calico, Luna, and I'm very worried. She's not acting like herself. She had a jaw issue the other day and ever since she's been drooling, hiding in the bathtub (she's not a jumper and never did this before), felt warm, acts restless, among other symptoms. She's 7. While not the norm, I've had cats last until 20. This is my familiar. Vet said her teeth look good but to keep an eye on her as she isn't eating the dry food, only wet. We did get her rabies shot done and I'm really hoping she's not having a reaction to it. Will call the vet in the morning and take her in asap. She didn't even fight being picked up, which she hates because she always thinks it's bathtime when she's picked up and usually will fight it and mewl so pitifully but she didn't do that this time. I tried to reach out to Bakayashu for help but he of course is still ignoring me. Whatever. I just hope I don't lose my cat, him, and have to send my kiddo back to her father in two days. I'm already battling horrible depression and barely keeping myself focused through it.  I feel so damn abandoned. Alone. And Baka's silence now just feels cruel.  I just want everything to go back to being good again. 

In other news, I am time-sharing a local, submissive, polyamorous, older boytoy with a few other women. He is busy, but if I work at it I can get a little time in with him each moth and we text almost daily. I like him. We get along well. We have compatible dietary situations so we can dine together without it being an issue. We saw Pillion together. He's got wonderful hands and I crave his massages. My queening chair is his new favorite toy, and we officially christened it on our ... second date, I think? He wears a chastity device during our dates by my request, but since he is free-range I do not keep him locked. I might unlock him if he can arouse me to orgasm, and our next date is going to be a more instructional R&D session about how to get me there, if I can keep him from distracting me while practicing: being the instructor and the practice model is a challenge, but can be so worth it.We have been to each others homes, seen each other starkers, and have even given each other tips on how to drive each other to distraction, so ... I am hoping that this could be a long-term situation. I have also met one of his other partners and his daughter.  So, that is my status update. I hope that you all have been well!

Everything He Has, Until There Is Only Me There is a particular music to it that I do not think you can understand until you have heard it in a room that belongs to you, with someone who has given you permission to play. The crack of a whip is not violence. It is punctuation. It is the sound of a sentence ending exactly where you intended it to end, clean and final and ringing in the air long after the moment has passed. It lands and the room holds its breath and in that held breath is everything: the authority that swung it, the surrender that received it, the particular electricity that lives in the space between the two. I feel it in my wrist first, then in my chest, then in the slow, satisfied warmth that moves through me when something has gone exactly as I intended. The skin that receives it blooms and I watch that blooming the way an artist watches a canvas accept color. With attention. With pleasure. With the specific pride of someone who knows their medium. The paddle is a different thing entirely. Where the whip sings, the paddle speaks in a lower register, a hard and resonant thud that you feel in your bones before your skin has finished deciding what happened. There is no elegance to it and that is precisely the point. It is blunt and declarative and it leaves no room for ambiguity. You know what it means when it lands. You knew what it meant before it landed. The sound of it fills a room completely, the way a bell fills a room, and the echo of it lives in the body for hours afterward, a reminder that resurfaces every time you shift your weight, every time you sit, every time your body moves against itself and finds me there, already waiting. The cane is my favorite. I will not pretend otherwise. There is a patience to the cane that suits me. The way you must take your time with it, must place it with intention, must understand that it is not a blunt instrument but a precise one. The marks it leaves are not accidents. They are calligraphy. Long and deliberate and raised against the skin like script, like something written, like the physical evidence of a conversation that only two people in the world were present for. I trace them afterward sometimes, these lines I have drawn on a body that belongs to me, and feel the same quiet satisfaction that I imagine a sculptor feels running a hand over finished stone. I made this. This is mine. You will carry this for days. And my own skin, where the energy moves through me like current, where the act of wielding produces its own particular heat, a tingling that lives in the palms and travels, that settles somewhere behind the sternum and glows. I glow. There is no more honest word for it. Something in me lights from the inside when I am in full possession of my own authority and someone is receiving it with everything they have. Neruda wrote that he wanted to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees, and I have always understood this not as tenderness alone but as inevitability, as the specific hunger of something that transforms whatever it touches simply by being what it is. That is what I want from you. Not your performance of devotion. Your actual transformation. I want to be the thing that happens to you, the season that changes the look of everything, so that you cannot see your own hands without thinking of what they are for, cannot move through a room without feeling the architecture of my expectations around you like a second skin. I want to wring you dry. Not cruelly. Completely. I want every thought that crosses your mind to carry my fingerprints on it, want you so thoroughly oriented toward me that pleasing me stops being a task and becomes simply the direction your nature moves, the way water moves downhill without deciding to. I want your first thought in the morning to be what She needs today and your last thought at night to be whether you gave it well enough. I want the obsession to be so total that it clarifies rather than confuses you, the way a religion clarifies the faithful, the way a vocation clarifies an artist who has finally stopped pretending they could have been anything else. Bring me what delights me. You know what it is because you have paid attention, because attention to me is the one thing I require above all others and you have either given it or you have not. By now we both know which. The particular tea, the correct temperature, in the cup that fits my hand the way I like. The flowers I mentioned once three months ago that I did not think anyone was listening to. The way a room should be before I enter it, the light and the temperature and the specific quiet that tells me someone has thought about me before I arrived. The knowledge, brought to me unprompted, of something I would want to know. The book left on my nightstand, the right one, chosen not from a list I gave you but from everything you have learned about the country inside my mind. Shower me in it until I glow. Charlotte Bronte understood this, I think, better than she is given credit for. Rochester did not love Jane Eyre the way men in novels usually love women, as a soft and worshipful thing, a pedestaling. He loved her with his whole difficult complicated weight, loved her as his equal and his better and his necessity, and she received it not with flutter but with the straight-backed dignity of a woman who has always known her own worth and was simply waiting for someone else to catch up. That is the love I recognize. Not the love that flatters but the love that sees, that is almost furious in its recognition, that cannot look away because looking away would require pretending the world is smaller than it is. Neruda again: I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees. Yes. And also: I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. The wanting in Neruda is never polite. It is consuming and precise and it names its object with the specificity of someone who has studied what they love until they know it better than it knows itself. That is the quality of devotion I am describing. Not the vague warmth of general affection. The focused, detailed, almost scholarly hunger of someone who has made another person their life's primary text. Learn me that well. Want me that specifically. Bring it to me not in grand declarations but in the ten thousand small and correct details that prove you have been paying attention every single day, that prove my preferences live in you the way music lives in a musician, available instantly, expressed naturally, impossible to separate from who you have become. And when I glow, and I will glow, when something in me settles into that incandescent satisfaction of being known and tended and

Feeling the need to update the profile a bit   Seeking an alpha-type mentor who prefers encouragement over rigid discipline. I love "protector" energy, but I require a partner who knows how to listen—to my body, my energy, and my limits. The Essentials: Patience: I don't rush into sex or scenes just because the vibe is right. Privacy: My home is my sanctuary. I only host once we are in a committed relationship. Respect for Titles: I do not use the term "Master" outside of a committed collar. To me, that title is sacred and signifies a total giving of myself that must be built over time. Dominance vs. Ego: I’m looking for a leader, not an ego-trip. If you’re domineering instead of dominant, we won't be a match.  And dont get me started on my post below where i described 'the dominate male" Geesh...educateyourselfs already...the Google is a powerful tool! Let’s see if our rhythms match before we ever talk about power.

Atlantic Sleep Token    Call me when they bury bodies underwaterIt's blue light over murder for meCrumble like a temple built from future daughtersTo wasteland when the oceans recede Marry in the morning, earn your bitter fatherIt's easier to try not to eatSo flood me like Atlantic, bandage up the trenchesAnything to get me to sleep I woke up surrounded, eyes like frozen planetsJust orbiting the vacuum I amThey talk me through the damage, consequenceAnd how it's a pain they know they don't understand Sobbing as they turn to statues at the bedsideI'm trying not to crush into sandSo flood me like Atlantic, weather me to nothingWash away the blood on my hands Call me when they bury bodies underwaterIt's blue light over murder for meCrumble like a temple built from future daughtersTo wasteland when the oceans recede Don't wake meDon't wake meDon't wake me upDon't you wake (don't wake me) me upDon't wake meOh (don't wake me up)  

Vulnerability:   In the shadows, I often hide Afraid to show what's deep inside Vulnerability feels like a curse A weakness that I can't reverse   But in moments of quiet reflection I wonder, should I embrace this direction? To open my heart and let others see The raw, unfiltered side of me   Should I release the walls I've built so high And let my true emotions fly? Or should I continue to keep them at bay Hiding my vulnerability every single day   It's a battle within, a constant fight To hold on tight or break free into the light Maybe it's time to let down my guard And show the world my vulnerable heart   But the fear still lingers, the doubt remains Can I withstand the vulnerability's strains? Yet deep down, a voice whispers, "just try" Perhaps embracing vulnerability is worth a try

June 26, 2022  Long over due UPDATE My profile definitely needs updating.  My understanding is it takes months to have edits to your profile approved so I thought I would update it here. = I am 59 years old, not 55.   I am having a big bash when I hit the big 6-0h in Feb.   I practice a poly lifestyle.  If you think "Sister Wives" (on TLC) is poly, if you think poly is just a group of people who just indiscriminatntly fuck each other, you and your preconcieved notions are not a good match. I find myself more and more attractied to substantive men, with more than a cock and "the best" insert sexual act here to offer.  If you have an open mind, and/or have experience with poly, lets discus what might work for us. Relationsihp anarchy - we determine what our relationship looks like.  It is ours to define. Enjoy the journey!

I wrote a response and I am going to include in journal. Not so,  Words can be read, with the meaning behind them getting lost. Sometimes if not most of the time,  The answers are not on the surface instead they in the layers that are below.    It would be for those that go deeper, poke at the surface to discover what is so close.     I may have used to many words ..  My therapy is in the past, I put a lot of effort into proving what wasn't the answer I was seeking.    It took time, to not think to solve problems, find better solutions and do everything myself while trying to convince others to follow.   The loss was always relationships. I chose to take the relationship path before I met you    I had no idea the journey that followed.    When you say I am looking for someone to solve my problem for me on the contrary.    I try to steer from say things I don't want or not looking for.    I am not looking for someone to want to solve anything on my behalf or be that feel good help save the day desire.     It's hard not to find that behind the mask in a lot of profiles.    I seek a true selfish, Dominant woman that overlooks any interest in knowing what I may or may not want or have opinion.     Someone who expaspects my voice when called upon to speak. Someone who will not ask if it hurts or if I like something.   I am interested in your leadership, if you will treat property as an asset that gives you return on investment and time.  Will you maximize the asset you own and maintain while training to correct imperfections and lack of training before you owned it.    I look to sure see to a life I have only played out in my mind a thousand times. That there is no word no in my vocabulary.  It's prove you right never wrong.  To not ask or seek pleasure making you the focal point of why I exist.   For that is where I find purpose and a reason to be alive.  That is my nature something I tried to change.    I take what is needed from only that is given, all efforts are to improve and comfort and entertain my owner.   I accept it's still a challenge..   Yes if you say I look for someone to solve my problem. If looking for a qualified owner ?  I am seeking that.  My decision to surrender is precise. Your definition of property is precise.  I have only one choice then yes an owner does solve what ever problem may occur.  I am looking not for problems but some one to lead. 

Master's WritingsStruggles of a Sapiosexual/Demisexual in a Hyper-Sexual WorldAs I have matured thru the years, it's now clear that without finding someone mentally, and emotionally attractive, it all just feels somehow incomplete. Without some connection to a real person with a genuine personality, they can be pretty and sexy, but . . . It really doesn't do it for me.And here in lies the problem.In today's hyper-sexual, transactional and instant-gratification society, how does someone like me, take the time to connect with another before the tug of physical exceptions frustrate the individual and kill the tempo.Yeah, I know. Its easy to say, I'm just not finding the right people who are also Sapiosexual/Demisexual, but we all know everyone is comprised of shades of grey and even those who lean in that direction feel the pressure of the "quick-fix".Not sure what to actually do about it, other than to continue to be clear up front about who I am, what my needs are during the "approach" and look harder for alignment with the individuals I talk with.But it is still frustrating.

I'm a loving caring Domme seeking her sub for ltr.   You: available, devoted, educated, professional, well-off, well-rounded, Caucasian, attractive, publicly alpha, privately submissive, faithful, non-sissy, cuckold (non-negotiable). Need cuckoldress to pamper, obey, serve, worship, support, suffer for emotionally and physically. Ideal Situation: long-term relationship leading to marriage in TPE/Cuckold situation where cuckold is subjected to long-term sexual denial and chastity, reduced to slave-husband status in permanent service to me. You have to earn the status of husband before being a slave. I am not a slave master. Me: Petite 5'3" 120 lb sexy curves, African American Dom, the boss, business owner, attractive, caring considerate person but to my cuckold husband, I will keep always wanting more and begging to please me. Must be good looking, in shape and health conscious. I am all 3 of those so you must be too. I'm self employed and the boss. I live in New Jersey and I'm not looking nor will entertain long distance relationships. Must be in the NJ, Philly, or DE .  I'm willing to do some variations of the above in the way of physical appearance.  Although if you're extremely over weight or unhealthy, I'm not interested.  I dedicate a lot of time to keeping myself in shape and eating healthy foods.     I really want a person that I care about who needs to be dominated more than I need someone to treat cruelly just for the sake of being mean.  I prefer you be over 40, mature, health conscious, as I really want someone in great shape but at least be healthy and HWP.  The more successful you are, the more I want to dominate you. When you respond let me know about you, your past experiences or anything that's significant.  Messages with pics will be answered first, if I choose to answer at all.  One liners or "how may I serve you" will be erased.  hotwife, domme, poly, cuckold, cuckoldress, hot wife, domination

Tonight's top email -  "You know your getting rid of 55 to 60 of potential contacts by restriction in your second paragraph?" Well, first of all  - "you're." A contraction of "you" and "are."  Kinda tells me a lot right there. I wrote back and responded to what I thought he meant. But no. "Dimina its the political restrictions that throw out 55 60 of the potentials in line" Then second, it's not "Dimina" and third, its not the second paragraph. It's the 4th and 5th sentence. Further clarifies the kind of person writing. So I responded to THAT. "If the political restrictions are the problem, then they arent actually potentials. They would be incompatible with me on many deep levels, and compatibility is the most important thing to me. The fact that they might not consider it an incompatibility, and would want to approach anyway, just further illustrates the basic incompatibility. The bottom line is this it doesnt matter what someones kinks are, how much money they make, etc.  If I cant respect them as people, I dont want to be around them in any capacity. If I cant respect them as people, then I ABSOLUTELY dont want to have to spend the kind of time with them that is required for kink, intimacy, or a relationship of any kind. Its not politics. Its a basic test of character, intelligence and humanity. No one on that side of the table is going to meet my requirements in those areas. Or, to put it in the simplest terms if someone is in the same crowd as the  self- proclaimed Nazis and isnt leaving, I dont want to know them." Let me try to explain something here - If "liberal politics" is a hard limit, maybe don't contact people for whom fascism, libertarianism, and Drump are hard limits. Seems pretty straightforward to me. I mean, isn't a profile for finding common interests and weeding out incompatibilities? Contacting someone who you KNOW isn't interested in you, and who you know has qualities you aren't interested in, to complain that their hard limits keep you from approaching?  Whining is really unattractive, guys. Then again, maybe he WANTED to be humiliated.  So... merry christmas, random complainy dude?

Christmas '23, and what is it like ? I've mostly healed up. Added 4 yards of topsoil in front of my recently aquired home in Lacey. Planted a lot of bulbs. Mix of native wildflowers. And blueberries, raspberries, strawberries and grapes. My compost heap is better than yours, professionally managed by the songbirds lured there by the cleverly placed feeder. Cleared the path from the back gate to the bike trail. Blackberries are tough in this area, so that is a project to finish later, when I hope to add some cedar trees back there, and a lot of wildflowers. But it's mostly blackberry, now, and vines don't vanish when you cut them, that's just the start of the job. It's good to have a hobby. The neighbors have signed off on the new mailbox thing I want to make. Half whisky barrels, 2x2 cedar arbor, Wisteria or grapevines, undergrass irrigation, and a pair of big mailboxes.  My '80 Triumph convertable made it as far as the garage. Needs a lot of work. Old gasoline and 45 year old rubber, everywhere. It's cute, though, even if it bites my fingers every time I get a tool anywhere near it. 20 year old Ford spent 10 days at the dealer. Alternator, battery, the cable in between. Came back with belt squeek-eek-eek-eek. Which is really annoying because it's the loudest thing on the truck. Wonder if I can fix it. The tool shed has gone all electric, so the gasoline is now 'something I have to get rid of' where before it was an essential hazard to life & property that smells bad. The mower made me do it. It ran about half speed last time, and is too rusty to work on. An important part of the next dump run. And romance? Sadly, no. I blame the pandemic... Perhaps the new year in my new place doing my new thing will bring some relief. Perhaps my new, noticably smaller, trowser collection will help some. But what I really need to do is get out more. So, call me.

Here is my experience with the bimbo:She worked at a car dealership as a receptionist when we met. She dressed conservatively, never showing much skin. She was pretty, but could have really been a 10 with better hair/make-up etc. She was slim, had a round ass, and her best feature - her glorious D cups. She was simple minded. We fucked on the first date and by the third date she asked to stop at a pharmacy. She point blank said, "I'm going to pick up some lube so you can fuck me in the ass tonight". We starting dating and getting to know each other. I learned it was fine to be a bit aggressive with her. When she was in the mood, she fucked like a raunchy porn star. She loved to be dirty or nasty. She loved ass to mouth, spit/sloppy blowjobs, being spit on, getting/giving rimjobs. Even with unbelievable tits, nobody is perfect. Outside the bedroom, dealing with her became a chore. She could be very childish and whiny, constantly complaining. Also very stubborn or moody at times. She could also be demanding. I liked the slut a lot more than I liked the girlfriend. One day she'd wake me up with a blowjob and the next she wouldn't speak to me because I forgot to wear the cologne she bought me. Or She'd pick a restaurant, not like the food, and be in a bad mood all night. It became difficult to deal with her inconsistent behavior. It became she was really only good for one thing. And after a night of her begging for ass to mouth, she said I treated her too much like my "slut instead of [my] girlfriend". Things ended not long after. That's why I am open to find a girl who is more agreeable and build the bimbo onto her.

Alot has changed since I first created our profile. What I have noticed over the past year or so since I last checked in is that is still many of the same faces.  People I suspect want the idea, but are too afraid to go for it when it is in front of them. So, what we are looking for also has changed.  I was looking to add to a poly family.  Well that part is done as there are now three of us under one roof. What we since decided is to find someone (female) who desires a complete loss of herself not for sensual BDSM, but for complete enslavement. The person who seek would be looking to disappear from society, and be locked away, perhaps never being allowed to leave our dungeon and your new home. In this role, you will spend many hours in bondage or caged, except when one of us decides we wish to enjoy your flesh for our pleasure.  That pleasure being anything from using you for our sexual gratification, to being tortured just so we can hear you cry or beg for it to be over, to simply clean the floor on hands and knees. Is this what you desire?  Seriously, because many people think it is, but few can really accept that they are offering themselves to a sadist who finds love only in hearing cries and whimpers.  Who favors the sound of leather agaist flesh over sweet 'I love yous'.  Many profiiles will read like this I suspect, yet less actually have experience in doing just that.  So, if you really want to atone for what ever sin you have done (and I could care less what that sin is), then lets talk.  If you want to be used while reminded what a worthless piece of crap you are, then your the woman we seek.

Oh Sir, your bitch is waiting for you to grab me by my pussy hair and push me onto the bed You tie my hands over my head, put a spreader bar between my legs and then wisper in my ear, how dare you come to me with all this here My bitch is hairless you hear me You pull out your shaver and take off my hair, spanking my clit and pussy as you go Mmmmm When you are done you go into the bathroom and get a soapy washcloth You rub and scrub my lips and pussy You dirty bitch as you flip me onto my belly trying to decide which hole youll shove your big hard almost still cock You spank me first with a wooden paddle that I actually brought zwith me Ill show you who your Master is bitch You grab the back of d hair as you climb on top of me shoving yor dick into me hard I cry out    M  

I was not interested in meeting this person because he's very busy and I need someone that's has more time like myself. He went on a little bit of a rampage about earning money which I totally understand and I am a strong believer in that family comes first. I did not care anything about how much money he made or expected to earn Tell me what y'all think about this reply    Maam Just one question. Why is it that people that do not make much money have no idea what it takes to make a great deal. Time is the key. Yet people who do not make alot always wish to make more. Yet when You do make more than they never understand what it took. Yes i have responsibilities that go beyond this lifestyle. That does mean i am busy. But i take time for those i care for and the One i wish to serve. But i cannot drop everything at a seconds notice. i have to plan. Do i place money over my person. Yes, everyone does. Because it is what pays the bills and gives us those benefits we enjoy. And if You do not believe that statement go find a homeless person and give them a thousand in cash. Because if the money did not matter than You would do that everyday. Thanks for the reply. i have tried. 

FYI - to anyone looking - I am pansexual. What that means is that I am attracted to all kinds of people, and their genitals don't really factor into my initial attraction. That said, I do have a "type" where crossdressing is concerned- I am not attracted to children, in any way, so dressing like a little girl in a frilly pink dress and ruffled panties, etc is a turn off to me. I associate that look with toddlers, female toddlers at that, which I associate with tantrums and screaming and stinking diapers and work and stress and being exhausted and a side of misogyny as all that falls on women because the men in their lives are willing to dump it on on us rather than step up and do an actual share of the work.  If dressing that way makes you feel pretty, and feminine, and you enjoy that, more power to you. I wish you lots of dress up time, and fancy frilies that don't chafe. HOWEVER If your goal is to find a Domme, you need to start tailoring your profile and pictures to what appeals to THEM. I don't know how many other Dommes are into that, or are turned on by that look, but I can say it doesn't come up much when we are talking about sexy subs. In order to find a buyer for your fine qualites, you need to advertize the thing that your target market wants to have. You need to find out what that is, and understand that it may not be what you hope it to be.  Or maybe consider a different audience. Plenty of pervy guys that like little girls. Maybe learn to like being liked by someone who likes what you offer, rather than trying to convince someone who doesn't like it to provide it.

Him: I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you! Me: Then why did you contact me?  Him: I just said. I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you. Me: But you are white. Him: Is that a problem? Me: In the 1950s, it would have been illegal for us to have a relationship.  Him: So? Me: So, a 1950s style relationship between us would involve us not having a relationship. Him: Some people did it, didn't they? Me: Illegally, involving scandal and and the likelihood of violence and likely damage to at least one partner's class status. Him: It could not have been all that bad. Me: Loving vs. Virgina happened one year before I was born. Lynchings are still not unheard of. Him: . . .  Me: Toodles!

What I seek is more than play/sex. Maybe if you get to know me as a human being you might have more luck. I seek that feeling of danger, but knowing I am safe from harm. He is in control of his life and doesn't have to beat his chest to prove his dominace. He doesn't beg for my submission, he proves himself worthy of it by consistency, that calm controled authority, and care. He may well be sadistic, but that is not what drives him.  He is playful and has a great sense of humor, but can tame my brat with a look, a growl, or a snap of his fingers. He is demanding, an asshole even, but he gives of himself freely. His time, his energy, his focus.  He has time for the mating dance and is dedicated to the process.  He is equally at home beating my behind or taking a romantic stroll down the beach He is not afraid of his inner sadist. I seek 24/7 tpe with the right one but I have learned that not everyone, in fact very few, are worthy of my submission. I cannot leave NZ perminantly.

I really do need to find a man to take me in for retraining. Since my last LTR ended I have been unable to find anybody of the calibre needed to properly dominate me. And properly dominated I need to be. If you are the sort of man who would grab me by my blonde hair and unceremoniously put me over your knees, push my skirt up off my bum, pull my panties down as I squealed and kicked around and give me a thrashing for nothing more than pouting my disapproval at you when you told me to do something. If you are the sort of man who is comfortable enough in your ownership of me to publically humiliate me and/or lend me out to one of your mates occasionally. If you are the sort of man who would keep a variety of implements in the wardrobe solely to punish me with and used them on me regularly whether I misbehaved or not just to keep me in my place and because you enjoyed doing it. If you are the sort of man who would make sure that I always had fresh welts and whip marks on me to demonstrate your complete ownership and domination of me. If you are the sort of man who would lock me in the garage, shed or spare room for hours on end to give me plenty of time to reflect on my shortcomings before coming in to administer a good thrashing to me. If you are the sort of man who would take great pleasure in seeing me hog tied and gagged, struggling on the floor. If you are the sort of man who would give me a good slap across the side of my face hard enough to send me sprawling if I back chatted you. If you are the sort of man who would expect a girl to know her place, do all your housework, do it to your expectations and do it with a smile on her face or else. If you are the sort of man who, while watching the footy on TV and I was doing a big pile of ironing in the laundry, would shout out to me for a beer and expect me to immediately fetch it from the fridge, open it and put it into a beer cooler before hurrying to hand it to you with a smile on my face. If you are the sort of man who would not allow me to leave the house or do anything without your permission and who dictates to me what I should be wearing. If you are the sort of man who would take great pleasure from watching me squirm and squeal on the floor as your belt leaves bright red welts on my bum, thighs and back. If you are the sort of man whom I would be a little bit frightened of. If you are the sort of man who expaspects me to be dressed like a girl should be dressed to please a man, in miniskirts, short dresses, sexy panties, heels and stockings. If you are the sort of man who would occasionally reward me by treating me like a lady even though we both know that I’m nothing but your slut. If you are the sort of man who is intelligent, articulate, financially stable and is prepared to put in the work on me to give me the life that I deserve. If you are even some of those things you are a real man and a rare man. Where are you? I NEED YOU!

Honestly, some of these "top from the bottom" people.  lol This jerk off, on email ONE, mind you, was making arraingments. Didn't even say hello.  SERIOIUSLY????? I have everything in my profile on what to send if wanting consideration, did he send it....no. Demanding that I jump on phone and talk about moving, etc.  Then stomping off having a fit because things are not done YOUR way, even though I say exactly how i do things within my profile, is not my idea of submissive. I am talking to a real gentleman submissive, a few actually, but one in particular (you know who you are)  LOL  They could teach you a thing or two. If you want to play submissive, and have everything done your way, then I suggest you go to a pro  LOL I so love the delete without reading feature, never have to read is crap ever again  LOL Hope this a-hole is gone for good.   lol

My thoughts on training a submissive.  Why should I give my time to train someone who should at least have basic life training? He or she should be intelligent enough to listen while getting to know the person he or she is talking to. You should talk to each other and get to know the person.  Ask questions, and clarify what is being said. This is a get-to-know-you period without a dynamic, rules, or protocols.  I get that there are people out there who do not want to do this, then question if this is a dynamic you want to be in. Will I teach someone to be an adult? No. Will I guide them when we decide to move forward in a dynamic? Yes.  Will I expect him to do some basic research and ask questions? Absolutely. He should strive to learn the fundamental positions even though I do not use many of them, learn to serve food and drinks in high protocol, learn basic chores, how to clean a bathroom well, what not to flush down the toilet (this is an important one), and what products to use while cleaning. Learn to cook simple basics, eggs, toast, avocado toast, make biscuits (think old school home-economic classes), do laundry, sort it, which clothes don't go in the dryer and what does, what clothes need to be ironed.  Have you thought about taking some cooking classes? Massage therapy classes but not pass the test to cut back on cost?  Have you considered taking a bartending class for those who might like a cocktail? You might shine at a party with this skill. Learn to pour or pair wines. Embellishments in water are simple to do when meeting her. Make sure of any allergies; you would not want to put fruit in the water if she's allergic. Get my drift? Show some initiative. She may not want some or all of these or other things, but you are prepared just in case. The fact that you learned how to do things shows you in a good light. PS: All of this can be used by you while you find your person. There are so many ways to impress Dominants. But asking us to put out a lot of energy training for you is not the way. The question to ask is: How can I make your life easier?  How many ways or hints did I give you to try? Answer: A LOT.   In hindsight, this is not for everyone. What you put into providing makes the difference. I am a lifestyle Dominant seeking a submissive who has a submissive service heart in a Dommesentric relationship. There is a difference that quickly becomes evident in your profile and messages. 

Some days it's about the protocol, some days it's about the discipline, other days it’s accepting kindness, or cruelty. There are people who are happy with one flavor of this, not me. Being locked into only one mindset shows no creativity and no adaptability.   i try to remain flexible, i know the more flexible the better (in mind & body).

After discussing my challenges with dating or even befriending certain types of people, my friend wants to come up a snappy phrase for me to use that translates into, "Yes, but your complete list of Issues Has to Fit in Large Print on an Index Card or It’s Too Much for Me.” That's much pithier than what I originally said, so ... progress!

Sissy Bimbo Journal Entry: Hello, darlings! 💕✨ This is your cute little bimbo sissy, just putting it out there: I’m ready and begging to be used in any and every way that pleases you! I’ve totally embraced my role as the ultimate sissy toy, and I am always eager to fulfill every hardcore fantasy you have in mind. My mind is nothing but pink, sparkles, and submission, and I’m craving the chance to be molded, trained, and pushed to my limits. 💖 Ultimate Bimbo Doll Training 💖 I’m fully ready to be turned into the perfect bimbo doll, trained to speak, move, and think in the way you desire. Take control of my wardrobe, my body, and my entire mindset—teach me to be the obedient, mindless bimbo you crave, with nothing in my head except the need to please. 💋 Public Play Object 💋 Imagine me out in public, dressed in the skimpiest outfits you choose, completely exposed to everyone’s gaze. I’m ready to be humiliated, shown off, and paraded around like the little sissy I am. I’ll follow any command you give me, no matter how embarrassing or degrading. 🔒 Chastity and Control 🔒 Lock me up and hold the key to my most private parts—I don’t deserve any pleasure unless it’s from you. You can decide when, where, and how (or if) I’m ever allowed to feel pleasure. Keep me teased and denied, desperate and begging, while you revel in the control you have over my helpless, needy body. 🔨 Degradation Play 🔨 I’m nothing but a sissy bimbo, ready to be verbally torn down and reduced to the lowest possible level of worth. Humiliate me, call me worthless, make me feel like the trashy toy I was meant to be, and I’ll love every second of it. I’ll wear any degrading outfit, repeat any humiliating phrase, and sink into complete mental submission under your control. 🩺 Medical and Sissy Transformation 🩺 Feel free to turn me into your personal project—use me for extreme body transformation fantasies. From forced feminization to body modifications, I’m here for it all. Shape me, mold me, make me the ultimate sissy that exists to fulfill your twisted fantasies. 🖤 Total Objectification 🖤 I exist to be used. You can treat me as an inanimate object—whether that means being your human furniture, your pet, or something more extreme. Use me however you want. I have no thoughts, no desires, no goals except to be a perfect plaything for those who crave power over me. So, if you’re looking for the ultimate sissy bimbo who lives to be used, abused, and degraded, I’m here, fully willing and desperate to be the toy you desire. Let’s explore your wildest, most hardcore fantasies together—I promise I’m ready for anything. 💄👠 Message me and let’s make your most extreme dreams come true. I’m here to serve, sissy bimbo style! 💕💋 Love and submission, Your Little Sissy

You tell me not to worry.  But are we not all motivated by fear? Or desire? Are they two sides of the same coin? I crave climax but it is harder to come by. Do I need a new toy, or is the toy no longer enough? It's a strange thing to consider my libido as a post-menopausal woman? At whatever age, we are never properly balanced, hormonally. Our modern diet and lifestyle keep us out of whack. I am probably lucky I have a libido at all!  Should I tell you about the couple at the end of the bar? She was at least mid-40's, he was maybe a bit older, but both in fine fettle, and good looking. They seemed like a pair of old socks, but then he started groping her, his big hand planted just below her right breast, fingers spread wide. He rubbed her belly like she was a pet, but then would bring his hand back up. When he took his hand away, she crossed her arms. Was she trying to keep him away? When they stood to leave he wrapped himself around her from behind and she asked if he had always been such a big cuddler. She had a British accent, thus the use of cuddle.  Was I jealous? On my other side was a 9 year old boy with his dad. Equally entertaining!  I thought I would keep strolling, see what else I might wander into, but I decided to call it a day.  Now I can enjoy the Sunday scaries in the privacy of my own home. 

Didn't get through a little challenge called LockTober...  it's a fun excuse for for people into chastity to go a month without an erection or jerking off...  if you're into the fetish it's like Jack Skeleton discovering Christmas Town for the first time... I lasted like 2 weeks.   But my friend is dope, and after communicating (she's also an ex) boundries, she turned around and was like, "Now about your pennence..."  And I basically agreed to be her slave for a month. She had me jacking off everyday, picking out girly clothes, but then made me stop all orgasms 😨, and start wearing the underwear and etc., November 1st... on top of locking me back into a chastity cage full-time.  I know it's a weird fetish...  but omg. She knows me well, she's trans, and she knows how to make me really like her form of domination.  Chastity just MAKES me so damned subby, and girly, and slutty, and over the moon kinky.  Words don't convey the feels... the lustful horny cravings are unbearably intense at first. But it calms down, and you get kinda gentled.. I woke up yesterday and feeling in my heart she was honestly becoming my domme again.  She's long distance and has her own primary relationship (I love being poly) so I'm starting to look for munches and make local friends in the lifestyle. Oh I wanted to explain the pictures I'm uploading... *edit I'll upload photos later when I can allow my profile to go into 'validating' mode for a few days.* My KH sent me another package, and it steps up the feminization a bit. We kinda renew our arrangement, for another week, every Friday. She's like, "Do you want to stay locked up for another week Kitten?" And at this point I'm just plainly honest, "Yes please, I'd like that very much."Then she'll somethng like, "Good boy."And I kinda just melt 🥰. Anyways, it helps this little anxious commitaphobe from getting nervous.  = )

shock then awwwwww 🥰 There is an undeniable chemical reaction that happens when a skilled Dominant creates an emotionally, physically safe space.It can permeate play and every day! As a submissive, im constantly chasing that dopamine rush. The contrast of adrenaline high, being thrust 100% into my body. Immediately shocked into the feelings, scents, sounds, taste…. Until Completely depleted and exhausted. followed by being held. Dissolving into His body heat. Slowly, methodically talked down by His deep voice, grounded in my body, calmed, caressed by His words. His voice, His touch become my safety. In those moments, nothing else exists. No thought, only gratitude. This is where im meant to be…. Why i will follow Him, do everything He asks without hesitation. How i navigate each day, focused on Him. Always moving back toward this space. ive submitted to different degrees over the years. It wasn’t until recently that i was shown the difference between choosing to submit and absolute submission of heart, body, mind. There’s no going back now… “Anything less would be uncivilized

So this one time at cheer camp all of the girls were stark naked in the locker room. As all the girls of different shapes and sizes all changing in the same room, my mind just wonders on how to please them  So without thinking things through I was like what's your fantasy to all the bare ladies in the room. I wanted to know each of their fantasies and I wanted to see each one come true. All the ladies I asked answered their own little dirty secret and for me it's planning time now  I need to make a list of what to bring besides the obvious strap on,and figure out how to get them there without anyone noticing and hope the ladies don't mind performing in front of one another, which obviously is not an issue, these girls trust and love each other we are all on the same team and we all do lifts. The flyers will have the best time of all  but these ladies perform all the time with each other why not naked? 

The Brightest Mark of Ruin   She had warned him. Not with raised voice or trembling lip. The way a storm warns you: a change in pressure, a stillness that precedes something absolute. She had looked at him with those eyes that always saw further into him than was comfortable and said, quietly, with the patience of someone who has never needed to repeat Herself: "Your body is mine. Your word is mine. Everything you signed your name to belongs to me now. Cross me unforgivably and I will not punish you. I won't need to. You will lose everything we have built, and it will be like poison in your veins." He had meant it the way weak men mean everything: completely, warmly, right up until the moment it cost him something. There was a contract. A real document, negotiated with Her characteristic precision, each clause a brick in something She was genuinely building. He had signed it with both hands steady and the particular glow of a man who has just been given more than he deserves. The ink was barely dry before he started deciding which parts applied to him. The protocols She had built as architecture, the daily rituals that kept him tethered and honest, he let them erode with the indifference of someone who has confused being trusted with being unsupervised. Then he put his hands on someone else. Not a stumble. A decision, made repeatedly, to take what belonged to their bond and spend it somewhere cheaper. He came home from it and looked Her in the eye and said nothing, and that silence was its own act of violence. When She found out, She came to him without hysteria, without tears, with complete and devastating composure. She asked him once for the truth. What he did next cannot be softened. He became physical, used his body the way cowards do, and drove Her from the home and safety that had been Hers. She left not because She was weak but because She has never once in Her life tolerated the intolerable. She did not come back. She didn't need to. The community moved the way water moves around a stone. No tribunal, no dramatic exile. People simply became unavailable. Conversations ended when he entered them. The doors didn't slam. They simply stopped opening. And She had not campaigned, had not made calls, because women of genuine authority do not need to destroy you manually. They tell the truth once, to the people who matter, and the truth does the rest. He still tries. He appears at the edges of gatherings with the careful posture of someone who has rehearsed his normalcy, performing the shape of a man who has grown and arrived humbly at the gates of a second chance. Every experienced Domme in the room clocks it within minutes. The hollowness. The grasping. The unmistakable vibration of a man whose submission is a strategy rather than a truth. They decline, one after another, sometimes without a word, sometimes with a look that says they know exactly what they are looking at. This is Her work, and She isn't even trying. The contract still exists. She has it. Every line he failed, every clause he desecrated, every promise subsequently dismantled brick by brick. It is not a document anymore. It is an accounting, and it will follow him into every room he tries to enter, every connection he tries to build, every carefully managed first impression, until he has repaid what he owes in full. Everything must be returned to Her as was originally decreed for the poison to ebb. To the world he dirtied by what he did to Her, to the fidelity he shattered, the safety he violated, the home he poisoned : These things do not expire. They accrue interest. She is woven into the world he still wants access to. Her judgment lives in it. He cannot go anywhere She has not already been, cannot reach anyone She does not already know. She is not a chapter; She is the book, and he is a footnote in a hand everyone can see was shaking. She is not thinking of him. That is precisely the point. He is living inside the shape of Her absence, and it fits him like the life sentence it is.

A submissives roles and responsibilities    1. Loyalty. Above All Else loyalty. It should be in the background in any given situation   2. Submission I am a submissive at heart. Though I would like to point out that you should view me as a dog. A dog that has been out in the wild too long and acts like a wolf. I am actually an infj. But how I interact with the world and how I feel are two different things. I decided a long long time ago that the world was out to destroy me and if I didn't stand up for myself nobody would. So while you read my works I'm sure that you will be scratching your head like is he a submissive? Yes I am. I just I Know Myself worth I know that I am valuable. And I'm not stupid. Which means I'm not going to throw that value away for nothing. For the right Dom submission is a joy and pleasure. Control, dominance, possessiveness, and submission leads me dripping in ecstasy. All I want is to submit to a good Dom.   3. Sexual access- this means having sex sometimes when you're not in the mood. It baffles me that people get into relationships that become sexless and then they stay in them. I just don't understand. I mean I totally get you know two tops or two bottoms being together because they love each other and enjoy each other they just don't have sex together they bring in third parties to do that. I totally get that. But letting resentment grow and letting your body go and that turning into a relationship that is negative energy essentially is just crazy. Which is why the selection process is so important and is why you have to have a good overall vision for what your partner should bring to the table. And once you know what your partner needs to bring to the table you can get an idea of what you need to bring to the table.   4. Bringing peace into his life - so there's this huge list in boxes to check for him to be even considered. So what do I bring to the table. In a sub Dom relationship and I would say even in a vanilla relationship bringing peace into his life is the most important thing you can do aside from loyalty. So what does it mean to bring peace into his life? This could be simple to complicate it. So let us keep to vanilla examples so it doesn't get too dirty. So let's say it's Sunday it's game day hooray. And he just wants to watch the game. What am I to do? The house should be clean. One of his favorite meals should be cooked and served to him without question or complaint. And then while he's enjoying his meal I will make sure to sexually gratify him in whatever way I know most pleases him. And when it's over there will only be a couple words of love and affirmation and I will let him enjoy his day. Or it could be even more simple. You need to be able to read and understand him. Did he have a bad day? Is now the time to bring up a repair that needs to be done to the house that you cannot handle. What about that thing that's been bothering you should we talk about it now? It's knowing when he needs to feel like a man and enabling that. It's reading him and knowing when you need to be super duper submissive the tickle his fancies. Giving peace into his life is an individualistic thing and I cannot list What specifically I would do because we are talking in generalities. But let me give you one more vanilla example but I still think it is a good one. So I view it as my responsibility to every morning wake up and give my job the best blowjob I can. And while this is sexual gratification that is not what it's about. It is not such a lowbrow thought as I give my man sex therefore I have them on lockdown that's fucking stupid. No it is about giving him a clean mind before he starts his day. It is me exercising my devotion and submission to him affirming to him he is my king I am his and I have his kingdom on lockdown. And doing this will enable my Champion to go off and fight his battles of the day because he has a reason to win. Me.   5. Keeping his kingdom in order- this is a mundane and boring responsibility. But it is essential. The house should be spotless. Taxes, insurance, appointments, minor house repairs, auto repairs and maintenance, and all the other little s*** that you have to take care of in this world is my responsibility. So that once again he can focus at succeeding at whatever Endeavor he is engaged with.   6. Someone to spar with- depending on the Dom or the partner someone to spare with can be essential. Someone who has a different point of view and a different way of looking at things. Someone who can challenge you who can play The Devil's Advocate. Without somebody to challenge you and your ideas you won't be thinking much so if you're set in your ways and do not want to hear other people's opinions or ideas I am probably not the right match for you.

What being a prey means for me Finding someone who will grow with me and pursue me always. Someone who enjoys the chase. Someone who will look for ways to outsmart me and capture me. Someone who will put in the effort to get me. Someone who craves me! Play wrestling, biting randomly and many other aspaspects appeal to me in many ways even though it's much newer than the other parts of me it is still there.

This is a time to remain very aware.  Keep close watch over those who seek to distract and otherwise keep you busy whilst they rape and pillage our government and our republic.  It is the oldest trick in the book - keep them busy and in fear, meanwhile they shall help theirselves to a sizable helping of the American Taxpayers monies and benefits. Whilst government programs are being cut, WATCH WHERE THE MONEY and BENEFITS GO.  A simple diversion tactic.  All the law suits will keep people occupied while more and more of our liberty is stripped. Consider:  while the 'parents' have allowed the 'undisciplined child and friends' to run wild, the greater world wide community will have no problem 'spanking' the errant child and holding the 'parents' accountable for not parenting.  IT CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE. Be care full, be watch full, be account full and "do not go gentle into that good night." Be proactive and be ready for the change which is most certainly here.   

Woo-hoo approved.  I kept it fairly safe cause I've heard of so many others having issues. As stated I was around when it was collarme.  Probably 2005 until it went poof.  So thrilled to see this new site. I did in fact meet quite a few men from that site over the years.  Some were one offs.  Some were play partners for a while.  Some we just weren't as compatible in person.   I do my best to avoid the latter issue by getting to know someone enough prior to meeting.  Ensuring our wants and needs are both going to be met and that expectations are realistic.  If someone cannot engage my mind prior to meeting I already know that won't happen magically just because we do meet.   I am genuinely a kind person.  I can come across bitchy because of my writing style and bluntness.  I also do not have much patience for those who will not read and are here due to boredom or for me to entertain them via writing and pics.  I am looking for real time meets.  That is all. I do lean submissive.  I love being used.  I am not an idiot or a brainless child.  I am a slut first who also happens to be submissive. If "training" is in your repertoire move on.  That's a game I'm not into.  I'm also not into submissive men or switches.   I am simply not attracted to them. I want people to reach out but please be interested in real time and local.  If men would respect what women want I think both our experiences on this site would be so much better.   I will post more and get into the good stuff.  Take care for now!

what is sophia in a song? version 1 there are a lot of songs that encapsulate the original sophia source/soul/codes what have you. but today i'm just going to focus on one.   book of love is pretty much boomer grimoire and required reading for anyone on the journey for sure. every song, lyric, aesthetic, title..the whole thing was definately translated from source. shout out to them for paving the way for sure.   if you know the vibe, you know the vibe. if you know the time, you know the time. if you were there, you were there. it was quite the party energetically if you can unpeel what the message is in this visual. it's another chris brown how are you mad when you can't get into the party vibe.   pretty boys and pretty girls is such a great foundational song. it talks about the ability to love and connect with all genders and the joy of spreading light into the world. and how life is full of intense feelings including joy and pleasure and delight. it's a big go big or go home sort of vibe song.   When I'm alone and you're away I just close my eyes and I drift away your warm body is what I'm without I just close my eyes and I dream aboutPretty boys and pretty girls pretty boys and pretty girls (when I'm without) pretty boys (I dream about) pretty girlsStranges in the night exchanging glances but sex is dangerous I don't take my chances the boys I meet say I look lonely but I just walk on my because they're onlyPretty boys and pretty girls pretty boys and pretty girls (when I'm without) pretty boys (I dream about) pretty girlsIn this day and age in a city full of fear with you by my side together we can show we careSpreading joy to the world to every boy and every girlPretty boys and pretty girls pretty boys and pretty girls (what will we show?) spreading joy (where will it go?) to the world   interesting note that album name and the band for this song are entitled:   "Artist: Book of Love   Album: Lullaby   Released: 1988"   what was 1998? broken down to 9. the year of completion.   book of love..lullaby?   because that's the d/s daddy dominant/little girl stuff going on between archangel michael and sophia divine again.   once the signs are there it just lights up everywhere.   spreading j-o-y!   to the world!   the mission right in front of the ears and eyes. 

Covid is over and we had our first play party in two years!Our BDSM circle consists of six Master and slave couples and our family of Master James Mistress Tabitha and myself. It was more of a bondage orgy than anything else. The only rule was that no Master could fuck his own slave.As the men recovered us slaves were encouraged to lick each other into a blissful state.We thought that it was just going to be nothing but play. Master Steven came into the room with a gallon ziplock bag of peeled ginger roots. Us slaves were told to get into a circle, drop to our hands and knees and each slave was given a ginger root to insert into her slave sisters ass.If you have never had a peeled ginger root in your ass it is, well...... The truth is that you don't know if you should shit, piss or cum or do all three all at once. It is an overwhelming series of sensations. Should you decide to try this for the first time use the ginger as soon as you peel it. If you wish to make the pain almost unberable then peel the ginger root and put it in a baggie overnight first. The ginger root will "sweat" and the sensations will be greatly amplified.It was so very delightful to cuddle with my slave sisters once again. Family is the most precious of all the worlds gifts. Family need not be by blood but just created out of love, respect and appreciation for the others in your group. We are blessed!  slave janet

Subtle Tease of The Day This one is simple. It requires no toys or even touching. You don't even need privacy. Every hour (or a feasible but consistent interval) complete this sentence: "I get aroused when I think of ... and I get wet when I imagine..." That's it. Take a moment or two to fantasize. You don't have to share your thoughts. They are welcome

I'm an ebony goddess currently looking for a sub/cuck to train to serve and worship me. Communication , trust and eagerness to learn, obey and serve are a must! Catch my attention, keep my attention and crave my attention. I will love to make you my personal slave, be under my feet , worship me. Lot of fun and let's explore our kinks together. I love to tease, to train, and to torture. I want my subs undivided time, adoration, attention, energy, and lavish worship. I have zero interest in fulfilling your fantasy. I am a true dominant woman and this is all about me and my pleasure, happiness and gratification; should you manage to enjoy yourself while I am whipping you into shape, or using and abusing you, then that is okay...but never will be of concern to me. I’m in search of a male submissive/cuck who is reliable,  independent, sane, I’d prefer someone who is service oriented as well as having masochistic tendencies   I would prefer someone with some kind of experience 

Old profile saved here.   Jan 2018- Some servitude possible again around my ongoing building project commitments... not as fully able to commit as I'd like but it's a start and WILL enable proper regular service in the near future.   My Face pictures are in my Pictures Collection All the pictures are my own. All details here are NOT just fantasy, in fact more a list of real life experiences, I've been around a bit, had a taster or three of many situations, now looking to build on past experiences and be taken deeper. If any or all of these Keywords resonate with you then read on or get in touch: TPE, Sadist, Masochist, Extreme, Prisoner, Hostage, Cell, Cage, Total rubber encasement, True Slavery, Chains, Heavy Bondage, Mummification, Prolongued Bondage Predicaments, 24/7, Hardcore, Gimp, Doll, Hoods, Gags, Sensory Deprivation, Isolation, High heels, Locked on footwear/clothing, Corsets, Ballet Heels, Waist Training/Tight lacing, Fetish, Latex, Feminisation, Feminine training, Deportment, Strict dress codes, Strict control of behaviour and appearance, Forced prolonged standing/caged standing (in extreme heels), Slut, Whore, Deepthroat/face rape, No safeword, Judicial Caning, Heavy Whipping, Bruises, Welts, Treated as meat, Abandoned chained to a wall in a dark isolated concrete cell for days or weeks with only piss and stale bread provided, Anal, INSEX, All holes plugged, Permanent hole dilation/plugging, Liquid toilet, Foot torture, Forced to walk long distances in heels / unsuitable attire / extreme footwear and restrictive clothing.          Longer version......  Serious **male (see below) slave & masochist with supressed transgender feelings looking for equally serious sadist(s) of any gender or situation (i.e single, couple, poly) for either casual meets or preferably something more meaningful and long term, or even permanent if the relationship develops........   In Vanilla life, I am a self employed business person. Professional, highly skilled, educated and intelligent. Very easy to get along with, witty, talkative and without a hint of kink on show, very good all round company that you can take anywhere. My business can also go anywhere, all I need is a room to work in, and use of eyes and fingers. I can generate a good income from home and rarely need to leave the house... or my cell..   Looking for an absolute TPE D/s situation (once mutual trust established), leading to no safeword, no rights, no opt outs, no kind fluffiness, sympathy and caring, just total slavery, pain, suffering, degradation, humiliation, abuse and torture.... Limits, yes of course I have them, that would be utterly stupid, however you will find they are very few and only there to protect my long term health and not to stop extremes of S&M and slavery. No legal activity is off limits and severity can be mild to hardcore/extreme.     I'm a total realist, Vanilla times are a necessary evil, bills need to be paid and an income to be earned and so on.... However, behind closed doors, when the vanilla commitments allows we have a running 'regime' where I'm usually kept in chains and preferably in female mode but that's not essential, just an ideal, your the boss and I will present as instructed.   Put me to work for all your domestic chores, diy, general fetching and carrying, your personal pleasures and pamperings and also used for any sadistic pleasures. I beg during slave times you show me no kindness, no mercy, no comforts or pleasures, just pain, suffering and serving.       Sill awake?..........     We all have to live in the real world, with bills to pay and essentials to be done so it's nigh on impossible to genuinely keep a slave, gimp or doll locked up 24/7/365 despite the desire to do so. If the chains do come off, we both know there is the underlying knowledge that we are not equal and this temporary freedom is just that, temporary.   Even doing the mundane shopping run, my restraints and symbols of ownership may not be on public display to protect the innocent from our kink, but there is still a strict hierarchy at work. Underneath my clothing chosen by you, there may well be subtle but effective devices and equipment at play, fitted onto me, or fitted inside me to keep me subdued, controlled and obedient whilst on our trip out, but on the surface and to the casual observer it's all composed normality, despite the fact I may be hiding absolute agony within.     ** I am 'non-op' Transgender (as in, less than pre-op) transgendered. I live and work in semi male/androgynous mode. Male image and persona is all there, so no need to worry about embarrassing freakish looks in public. I look totally everyday male except I have long and well maintained hair and perhaps if you look very closely you may notice my jeans, T shirt and trainers are ladies .... I barely have any male clothes but you wouldn't really notice due to very careful unisex or androgynous selection, I haven't shopped in the men's section for years.   Inside I live a tormented existence from the birth defect of being blessed with a feminine brain, cursed with a male body.... and that doesn't have to change...... However I have a deep and ever nagging need to be female, either in looks, mannerisms, treatment or the whole hoggette.... This is not just 'dressing up' or wanting to play the sissy maid or drag queen, but a natural desire to beco

The concept of being Owned refers to a person who has surrendered themselves as the personal property or chattel of their Owner - Master or Mistress.   A submissive has usually given up their rights and freedom for their Owner to exercise authority over them within a relationship that may extend to full time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.   The submissive has given up all limits except those which their Owner sets or has agreed for them.   From that point on obedience will always be expected first and foremost regardless of its personal feelings. 

   Submit to yourself and to the idea of submission. Give in. Give it up.    She will see it. She will be drawn to it. She will know.      She will hear your cry and see your hunger and it will cause Her own to rise    Express it without hesitation and without vulgarity.    And most importantly, express it with dignity and in a language of whispers only She will hear. Live it from your center, from your soul. 

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

Let’s speak on something most avoid. What is the point of control, if there is no purpose behind it? To take responsibility for someone, whether you call them a submissive, a slave, or anything else, and then leave them without direction, is not power, it’s mismanagement. Service is meant to be useful. Without purpose, without structure, without a defined role, that energy has nowhere to go, and over time it deteriorates, focus fades, discipline weakens, and what could have been something valuable becomes wasted potential. So I ask, You say you “own” them, now what? What is their routine, what are they responsible for, what are they building under your direction, what is the outcome you’re working toward? Because in any real system, any kingdom, any structure, everyone has a place. A role, a function, a reason they exist within it. Without that, you’re not leading, you’re collecting. And that’s where most fail. If your life cannot function without them, then who is truly in control? If their only purpose is to sustain you financially, then what happens when they step away? You haven’t built anything, you’ve created dependency. And dependency is fragile. Real power is stability, it’s structure, it’s having your world in order first, so that anything added to it strengthens it, not holds it together. So this is the challenge, Get clear, get structured, get intentional. Because if you’re going to take responsibility for someone else, You should already know what to do with it. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below.   We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields.   Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.   John McCrae 1872–1918

To Daddy From little gurl Oh Daddy I’m so ready to truly begin our journey tog Daddy I can say with 100% honesty that this little daily ritual you gave me has become something your little gurl looks forward to everyday.j There is no misunderstanding Daddy. Just as you’re choosing me to be your submissive to own, I want you as my Daddy.I commit myself to you. I commit my mind, body, and soul to submit to you.  I eager await all your lessons. I understand some may be veryj hard. I know some will make me very emotional and I may even cry.    I believe you will guide me to achieve my dream of being the beautiful sexy desirable woman I’ve always felt inside of me. 

  Paraphrasing, of course. "Dear beautiful and intelligent Domina, here is a long detailed message outlining why I'm a good candidate to move across country and serve you in all the ways you want despite being 20 years your senior. Let's have a discussion in a live chat so we can get to know each other and see if we are compatible." 20 minutes of conversation that suddenly stops for 9 hours with no warning later- "Well, I don't keep my phone on me all the time. I have stuff to do." Because of course, walking away mid discussion without saying 'hey, I need to go do something' or even having the courtesy of admitting 'hey, I'm not feeling it, but I appreciate your time' would take too much effort.  Age does not always mean wise and being raised in the older generation still doesn't mean they have manners.  This is what you guys are up against - proving you are the pearl in a sea of dregs. 

Your possible future... You feel so irremissibly subjugated awaiting further use. You succumb to be possessed, my sweet slut, my owned and private slut, you are my pleasing toy. You are just lying there quietly on all fours as ordered; bare and shameful exposed under the excruciating tease of my eyes behind you. Your whole being at my disposal. I will play with you, you know I will, but you don’t know what my play will be, you can only fear and excite on anticipation. I just slide my hand over your ass, and you immediately shiver slightly. Oh, you are behaving so well, no spank yet. I rub a couple of fingers deep between your labia and I enjoy feeling you quiver. Then I force your head back, pulling your hair with my other hand as I put those fingers in front of your mouth. You know what to do, that is it, stick your tongue, lick and clean solicitous your own juices; well done. Meanwhile my cock is already inside your enraptured ass. It is stiff and motionless for the moment, just pulsating in there, but you anticipate that it will start moving, thrusting your senses out without compassion until your outer-self dissolves, your consciousness became nothing, and eventually you turn into a sweaty distressed body utterly possessed between my hands; oh my devoted slut how do you dread and intensely desire that. But getting there is a long process, although delightful too. You trust me your being, you give up your everyday facade upon me, and that is not easy. We talked a lot. I wanted to know about your ideas, your beliefs, your fears. About how you masturbate, about what the fuck makes you wake up from social somnolence.  Talking with more than words. Don’t you understand? I don’t just fuck your body; I fuck your mind into the deepest waters. There is nothing I can do if you are not released to sweetly cry embracing in my lap. Then I may allow you to give me pleasure. Then I may control everything you can do, or wear, or experience. Play gradually with your skin and give full purpose to your orifices. Then I can degrade you in a way only we understand, my lovely slut. But that is not yet, we are not even in the beginning; you have to write to me first. I started this describing the end, but now I am going to end talking and you have to start writing me.

I've been on and off this site for a long time, and last time I tried, getting a profile write-up changed - was impossible.  Rather than go through that process, I'm writing a Journal Entry.  I've attempted a couple of relationships the past five years and I have to say that I'm exhausted by emotionally unavailable Doms who only want to play on the internet.  If that's all you want, I'm not interested.   Yes, I can relocate.  That part of my life has changed.No, I'm not going to redo my entire profile write-up.  If you want to know about me, ask.  I need someone in my life who is a good communicator and this is a great place to let me know you are willing to fill that need. As of 2026-03-13 I am 65 years old.  I'm in pretty good shape for my age and I have some arthritis issues that can be worked around.That's what I have for today.  Who are you? J  

Someone actually quite a challenge to WOW them about consent (not on cs).... I decided to write most of my response here, even though done of it is mentioned in my profile.   Wow you with consent... I love that challenge. So first things first, you can't have fun when anxiety and fear are the prevailing emotions.  Does that mean a person can't struggle against bonds or their patterned who is ignore than please of 'no' or begging for mercy and still find pleasure?  Sure they can, in the form of a safe word.  They can be simple as red, yellow, and green light... Red light being stop, yellow light, don't get any more intense... Or if the room is wiring about the intensity, can ask, sand if she say green light, she's good, keep going.   A bdsm relationship, whether it is in bed only, or 24/7 is still a 50-50 relationship.  Just because the sun lens the doom some of her fifty, doesn't mean she can't take some of all of it back at any time.  He wants to try anal, she doesn't, "I'm the Dom, so I can" is an EPIC of FAILURE of understanding basic [healthy] bdsm... Also might violate a law or two whether or not either of them know it.     Communication is also key.  Set aside time (such as a dinner) to discuss what they like it don't like.  Sometimes telling a person about what they didn't like right after or right before can kill the mood or self confidence... However during Sunday night dinner, a planned conversation, "her that thing when you turned me sides ways, don't do that for more than a minute at a time, but that thing you did when you held my head on the pillow... Don't ever not do that again..."   He laughs, "sure, when your are going down... Teeth are not sexy."     Moving on..   I actually love protocol training early in a relationship.  It's almost an if-then style relationship while learning each other's kinks: If you do this, I do that... Or if I do this, you do that.  For example, if she puts a collar on, he is not allowed to use her real name, just one of the pet names that agreed upon earlier, it could be cute like 'penny' because of the penguin on the T-shirt she wore the first time they met, or it could be something more aggressive such as 'slut,' if she agreed on that at first.  A system of controls to keep them both satisfied.          

I've been in the lifestyle since my early 20's.  I am my area MAsT group leader.  I use to be very active in the NYC area bdsm scene, have atended many events through the years about north eastern USA.   I do not do play, and am not a bedroom submissive. I am a slave all of the time, in my daily life. I am not submissive to everyone, I have owned and run my own business, been a boss to many people in my jobs through the years. The world does not know I am slave, nor do they need to know such, I simply am who I am all the time. I can not turn myself on and off. I live life to the fullest that I am cabable of doing. I serve with my heart and bering, in all I do, yes, even when I am sans a master. Would it not be dishonorable, dishonest and disloyal for me to be on this site and be owned or collared and not have such stated in my profile as well as have checked that I am actively seeking a dominant male? I believe it would be.  If I were owned, collared, in a relation, or even simply focusing on someone at the time, I would state such perfectly clearly in my profile for all to see.  I am here seriously seeking someone, this is not a game to me.  Read my profile please, then consider contacting me.  First impressions mean a whole lot.

Four Steps...    A recent miscommunication has inspired me to write on the STEPS towards D/s service and/or "D/s dating", as I see it. 1. We text to see if we want to talk. 2. We talk to tell if we want to meet. Note: I prefer local gents because it helps keep this step simple, without significant investment (time, emotional, financial). However, each step has flexibility for individual situations.   3. We meet to find out if we are drawn to each other and want to spend time together, both vanilla and D/s time. 4. Once dating, we would enjoy each other while we find our mutual understanding. Do we want monthly "dates", something more or something less? All these things unfold ONE STEP at a time, with good communication and each person making the right choice for themselves. (See my journal entry "The Depths of the Garage") I understand that the submissive thrall might cause you to want to give yourself totally. Your mind might race ahead to total ownership. YOU must manage your own urges. I hope you learn to enjoy submission for an afternoon or a weekend. That is D/s dating as I define it.   NOTE: Weeks into my widowhood, I am interested in "D/s dating". It is simply not the right time for me to even consider ANY long term relationship. At a different time I will feel a different way. I look forward to it.

I used to love whoring and slutting around. There wasn’t anything quite as fun as finding a new cock to play with – I was always thrilled at how fast I could get a guy hard and how hard I could make him cum with my mouth or my cunt. Fucking was the only time I felt genuinely confident in my 20’s. A lot of that came down to Kevin. I belonged to Kevin (on and off) for over a decade. He was my first D/s relationship, and his primary focus and kink was whoring me out. He loved having me be an absolute filthy fucking slut for him, and the confidence and power I felt in that role over time was incredible. Through him, I learned how much power a woman could have in herself by submitting to her own sexual desires. It wasn’t just that Kevin loved having me be a whore (as much as I wanted to think that was my sole purpose at the time), I fucking loved sex and I loved the attention and desire I felt from men in those moments. I loved the strength and confidence I gained from their desire; it was a strength that lasted a lot longer than the encounter did, that’s for damn sure. I didn’t need their reassurance or their attention after. I didn’t need them after, period. I got my reassurance from Kevin. His praise and enthusiasm for my behavior reinforced the strength that I gained and reinforced my confidence in my skills. I didn’t have shit for confidence walking down the street or walking into a party to be around strangers, but the second I was presented with a hard cock, it was Game. Fucking. On. THAT I knew I could handle with perfect confidence, grace and skill. And I fucking relished every moan, groan, sigh, gasp, and trembling muscle from the man I was with. In my 20’s, I was somewhere around 340-375lbs. I didn’t really get on a scale very often, so I honestly don’t know how much I actually weighed. What I do know, is that it was Kevin who taught me that my size didn’t preclude me from being desirable. When I moved to “the big city”, I had the opportunity for basically unlimited male attention, which was a first for me, having grown up in the middle of nowhere Nebraska. Kevin encouraged this exploration, but also gave me very distinct rules and boundaries (he’d more than learned by that time that I had no idea how to establish, let alone maintain, my own boundaries). He made me go to Planned Parenthood to get my birth control shot. He “gave me permission” to tell guys to fuck off if they didn’t want to use protection for sex; I could ‘blame my Owner’ if they were at all hesitant. Having all this attention from all these different guys, never having to go more than a few days without sex if I didn’t want to, god – it was fucking incredible! And in the background, was Kevin, telling me what a fantastic little whore I was. When it came to being with Kevin, it was an even bigger reassurance. He told me once, during a moment of extreme insecurity, “I don’t give a shit what you look like, Lisa. What I care about is control.” I knew I could give him that better than anyone, the question was, did he actually mean it? The short answer is, abso-fucking-lutely. When my stunning beauty of a roommate (who’d played with Kevin over the phone and online multiple times) joined us one night, I figured it was going to be game over for us. She was a knock-out compared to me and way better at everything sexual than I could ever dream of being. He was choking her with his dick and she freaked because he wouldn’t let her control the pace or how far down her throat his cock went. She jumped up and took off out of the room to go smoke a bowl and calm down and he called me over. Despite her naked self standing mere feet from him, perky ass and tits on full display, he was totally soft. The second I put his dick in my mouth and let him choke me to his hearts content, he was rock hard and having the time of his life. She eventually came back to the kitchen table where he was sitting while I sucked him off, and I remember feeling an unbelievable surge of pride as he praised me, telling me what a good girl I was, how much he loved choking me and making me cry, how pretty my tears were. And when he finally came in my mouth, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that for some men…it really is all about control. And I was officially hooked. That was all I wanted from that moment on, and to a large extent, it’s still all I want. Especially when it comes to any type of D/s dynamic. I don’t fucking care about the sex, whips or chains…I want the man who gets rock hard simply because I love to obey, to give up as much control as possible. I want the guy who gets off leaving me a list of chores to do in the morning and is way more turned on by me having completed the whole list plus some, then having to “punish me” because I failed to do those tasks. I want the guy who’s dick goes soft because a girl tells him ‘no’ (and he would never dream of pushing her beyond that ‘no’), but he gets hard as steel, instantly, because where someone else says ‘no’, I say ‘yes please and thank you’. I don’t need gymnastics and props…they can’t do anything nearly as good as a hand in my hair and a deep voice whispering in my ear.

A note for those who choose to message me:   I’m not interested in sexual résumés or exhaustive lists of past experiences as an opening introduction. Depth, discernment, restraint, and self-ownership matter to me far more than explicit history.   I pay attention to how someone lives their everyday life — work ethic, accountability, emotional intelligence, time management, and their ability to carry responsibility. Submission, as I define it, comes from stability, conscious choice, and integrity — not self-erasure, obligation, or performance.   If you are currently uncollared and reaching out, this is the appropriate time to show who you are now: how you manage your work life, how you contribute within a household or structured environment, how you balance ambition with discipline, and how you envision your future. I am interested in alignment, not nostalgia.   It’s also worth stating plainly: as we age, bodies change. That is reality, not failure. Physical limitations or changes — including erectile issues — are not disqualifiers to me. What matters is confidence, honesty, self-awareness, and the ability to live fully in the present rather than clinging to a past version of yourself.  

 M2s39