bunsteel

After my first marriage to a cheater, I developed the confidence to start exploring bondage. I have a strong need for connection with a lover. Random hook-ups don't feel right to me. On the other hand, I love to flirt and have no problem meeting people anytime, anywhere. To balance this out, I experimented with chastity, both mental and physical. Around this time I made some good looking friends who got me comfortable with showing off my body for them. This was all very exciting but was not matching my desire for a relationship built on trust that includes times of intense sexual expression. I wanted to have a bondage partner that was as strong minded and aggressive as I was.

With years of searching, it is dawning on me that my natural manner attracts compassionate and often sexually submissive women. My hidden desire is to be the submissive partner, however, I wanted to feel my submission during daily life rather than in the bedroom, without squashing my masculine personality. I'm searching for an unusual balance where I am appreciated for being a responsible man navigating every day life but with my happy partner having the power to flip my switch into a lusty and aggressive lover who will pin her down and take us both into sexual adventures in bondage and submission.

I am now picturing a scenario in which my I commit to someone by surrendering the keys to my chastity belt. On days of her choosing, she provides me an opportunity for freedom knowing that I am quite frustrated with lust for her. This is my license to drop my normal demeanor and become a little meaner, taking what I need in the way that I want. When the time to revert to public persona returns, it is understood that she should claim the keys and remind me that I belong only to her. This is what I might term a submissive led switch, with the role-reversal determined by the woman not by playing domme but by choosing to let the dogs out!

Yes, I want to have to freedom to using my ability to capture and dominate, but I don't want to have to suppress my desire to do so. If I hand you the keys, I want us to be comfortable knowing that when sex happens, it happens only because you want it to happen. You will know I am always ready when you are because you are my only release.

Permanent chastity does not mean no more sex, it means no orgasms without the keyholder. No masturbating changes the male mind permanently, no matter how often the partners have sex.

Locking up after sex can train a man to hold back his orgasm until given permission. This gives a woman the ability to control sex until he is trained to read her wants without words.

The enlightened man is able to control his arousal to become his pleasure without needing to finish because her pleasure becomes his goal of serving of her well.

Enough hurricances! Gotta find a work from home job and get out of Florida before next hurricane season. Have computer skills, must escape this madness.

Some dommes think they can put on sexy clothes and flirt their way into what ever they want, if that is you keep reading.
You like being able to be in charge all the time but at certain times you feed your greed for power by binding your partner because it amuses you to create a little suffering for him.
You may want to enjoy sharing sexual energy but no longer want frequent penetration or you want your man to feel that intercourse is a treat to be earned through submission. I'd like to be able to let you know I am horny for you while at the same time be prevented from thinking I can just grab you, strip you and throw you down to fuck.

I've learned how to shape chastity belts for practical comfort so that you can star in my every sexual thought. Everyday life becomes an adventure when control reaches any distance.

"What is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms... So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation."
"Shoes are just a pedestal. What interests me is the power of the woman who wears them."
-- Christian Louboutin

These things fill my submissive dreams:
My partner wants to lead a relationship based on a happy friendship and sharing positive feelings.
My partner enjoys using chastity to satisfy her need to possess her lover.
She enjoys being center of attention when she wears clothes that men cannot ignore, especially me.
She wants a partner who submits to her excitement for taking control physically using locks and keys.
She would like to use her man's sexual energy to teach him to obey her. She want license to be persuasive on her terms.
She is willing to take time to acknowledge my service with little erotic rewards even when she is tired. Words are enough.
She is interested in putting mutual health activities into our shared routines of life for which we are both responsible.

I'd be happy to do yoga, massage and connective breathing as our most frequent intimate activities.
I enjoy being appreciated for my sexual arousal as a compliment to you at the same time I enjoy being denied sex as sincere submission to you.
I'd like to demonstrate my experience with turning arousal in chastity into the intense desire to make you happy in non-sexual ways.
I feel loved when locked in chastity but still want to make love when you decide to take it off. Please lock it up when you are done.
I want to believe that you require chastity to prevent masturbation so that I stay fully erect when you want me to be.
I am enchanted to believe you like chastity because it prevents anyone else from tempting me, that you now own me without question.

The chastity does not need to eliminate having sex, but to control when. A woman who blocks male masturbation is never lonely. It is an easy way to encourage a man to give more hugs and better kisses if he is thinking about sex but cannot touch himself anymore.

As a late bloomer through high school, I felt like an ugly duckling so I avoided romance by focusing on science and sports. After college I met a free spirit who encouraged me to wear revealing swimsuits, even pushing me to strip for her friend's birthday party. Having women go gaga over me and ask me to wear speedos was mind blowing! However, this shifted my thinking from being a shy nice guy to being someone who could deliberately seduce just to satisfy my urges, making me feel guilty and even fearful.

Then an older friend a hippie doctor convinced me that mental chastity was healthier than chasing bikinis or jerking off. She claimed that I suffered from PE and that Tantra taught how withholding ejaculation during intercourse was best for both partners. She knew I liked bondage so she began tempting me into accepting domination because she discovered she liked the power that my jingling keyring gave her after having escaped an abusive marriage. Sometimes she put me to work in her garden and cleaning her house while she teased me with words and costumes.

I stopped looking at sex as hormonally necessary and starting seeing submission as respect. But after a year without normal sex and no actual device to enforce my agreement to stop masturbating, testosterone won so I neglected my commitment and wandered off feeling very alone. Thankfully she taught me a lot about my self which likely saved me from some serious life disappointments. I think I gave her enough confidence to begin dating again so I hope I also helped her heal.