Like many of my ponderings here, it all starts with reading a book. In this particular book a character was talking about a two year relationship he had with a woman but it wasn't serious. She was sort of a place holder for a while. Those were the words. Place holder. I get it, people want companionship, sex, having your needs met in the moment. Like that song, "If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with." I suppose I've been idealistic most of my life, hence the waiting and saving of various things, so it's probably not difficult to believe that this bothers the holy Moses out of me. I don't like the idea of a place holder. At all. I mean, I suppose sometimes those place holders turn into something unexpected. What do you do if it doesn't? What happens when you meet someone else? What if they do? What if being together prevents you or them from meeting that person?  I make quick decisions. I walk into stores and if I like it I don't hem and haw. I buy. I order at a restaurant and I don't ask the wait staff which is better. I know what I'm getting and how I want it prepared. In the past I've experienced the same uncomfortable break ups as you, if you've ever tried to break up with someone. It sucks. But I don't draw it out, that doesn't benefit anybody. If you know it's not working, rip off the band aid and make yourself available for new experiences. Or don't. If you like the place holder and everyone is comfortable with that idea, more power to you. Just make sure you're both on the same page. For the record, I will never be on that page. Don't come at me place holding, buddy. Some people might say I'm missing out on all of the everything. To me, he is all of the everything, and I don't want to tarnish that with place holding. Does that feel like pressure to you? When it's right, it won't. 

Something about the Hood You Live In.   In any good relationship involving a slave girl and her owners, there is the need to train her to recognize her place - where she is allowed, what she is allowed, who she is allowed, and to what extent she is removed from society and becomes owned as an , a thing in the hands of her owner, to be controlled and trained.   Long ago, in creatures only distantly related to the slave girl, very specialize brain cells pushed out of the head to gain a view of the world, a view in dimension, in color, in shape, in beauty or in horror, to find food or prey, and to avoid becoming such, to find a fellow, or to avoid such.   In time, as with humans, the eyes, the vision on the world, provided up to 90% of all information a slave girl needs to get by in the world, sometimes even more.   Being a slave, she must recognize the fact that, all that vision, all that information gathering, is at the pleasure of her owners, and can be denied at an instant, and for extended periods of time.   That denial can be done in any number of ways, but the most readily used - the hood, has the most impact on her from the instant it is placed over her head.     In general, hoods are made of leather or vinyl or rubber or latex, sometimes of material such as blue jean or cotton or spandex.    It may have eye holes that can be covered or closed, a mouth hole that also can be covered or better, plugged.   And at least one small nose vent to breath though, sometimes more.  Less than one has an obvious disadvantage.     Many are laced down the back, much as a good leather boot, pulled tight to make the material conform to the slave girls face.  Some have zippers for that purpose, and a few have both.   When put on, and when being tightened, it is incumbent on the slave girl to maneuver her nose to keep the nose vents aligned with her nostrils, otherwise...   Most good hoods have a switched on leather collar, that locks tightly around the neck, and can have chains attached for any purpose the owner may desire.     For the slave girl locked inside, it is a mixture of feelings and emotions, thoughts and dreams, hopes and fears, and total resignation.   A hood can not be gotten off easily, specially when bound tight.   It is dark inside, and will remain so.   You may feel totally helpless   You may feel totally alone   You may feel total terror   You may feel total bliss   You may feel total safety and comfort.    

I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 

Feeling my arms getting locked tightly behind my back with leather straps. Wrists first, then my elbows. Bit by bit loosing more and more freedom.. I revel in the feeling of slowly having my freedom stripped away. That moment when realization strikes that I'm truly caught and defenseless. Completely at the mercy of another... Just thinking about it is enough to make my heart go BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!  

Honesty Would I trust the word of an addict? No, of course not. I would trust an addict will be true to its addiction and use reason, including deception, to maintain its drug supply. But, one might say, we are not addicts here. We are into Domination and submission. We have fetishes. Not drug use. Well, here is the thing about addiction. My body does not care where the drug it wants comes from. Like if I were into sticking needles in my body to deliver any one of many legal or illegal drugs my body would not care about legal niceties. Any old drug source would work. A drug that works inside the body is almost always one the body creates naturally. The needle merely delivers higher concentration or more frequently than my body can provide. In other words, there are basically only two delivery systems. One from outside the body and one from inside. Well, how about stimulating the body to create its own drug with out the use of a needle. We do that all the time. Not infrequently referred to as satisfying emotional needs. Serotonin, adrenalin and oxytocin to name a few. Can one be addicted to the internally created drugs? Well, that would explain things like infatuation and love. In fact addiction is used by nature to help insure the survival of the species. Adults must attach, or become addicted, to offspring in order to insure the progeny survive and become, hopefully, useful members of society.  How about long distance runners? What kind of high do you suppose they are chasing? What happens when one is ‘addicted’ to sub space? All the hallmarks of addiction are present. Increasing stimulation, or altering tolerance, of the feeling of submission both in intensity and frequency is needed to achieve ever deeper and more desirable sub space. Withdrawal occurs when the stimulation is not available. What stimulates? How about humiliation? But, most prevalent, masturbation and fantasy are the ‘needle’ that causes the body to deliver the desired result. Now a rational person would know without any reminder from me that fantasy is not truth or reality. But, the subspace addict tends, in an increasing fashion, to live in the fantasy. Fantasy, because of the social sanctions and false ‘sex images’ delivered by ones environment (more about social influence below). An outside observer might well say the afflicted person is lying to itself. Maybe. The subspace addict must live to some degree, greater for some; less for others, in a real world. You know, wife, kids, boss, minister, parents, siblings and most painfully of all a world steeped in bias, prejudice, beliefs and simplistic thinking. How does one do that? Why the subspace addict becomes adept at presenting a, hopefully, believable facade. But, the inner self is crying out for its drug. So, the addict lives in internal conflict. That of between what it is and what it thinks it should be. That of trying to resolve reasonable needs of real world with the emotion of inner needs. Good luck. Actually, emotion always wins if the contest prize is about serenity. There is no serenity as long as the emotional needs are not met. Good luck. But, this much too long essay is titled ‘honesty.’ Why is all the above relative to honesty? Well, as a Dominant I search for a submissive, actually I search as an Owner for slave property. Anyway, the prospective property lie to me. They are so conflicted that they get tangled up in their minds about all the overwhelming reality their fantasy does not consider. They say one thing, but, are unable to deliver when reality bites.  I require a slave property show up in person for an initial ‘inspection’ before I get mired in explanations examples and details of life as My property. As a practical matter, if I engaged each and every ‘slave’ that contacted me in their fantasy or in their fear or in their inner conflict, I would have no time left in the day to live a life. The slave must conquer its fears of real life consequences and physically commit to an action: that is show up. Many say they will, but, fail to show up. Did they lie to me? Not in my book. They were honest to their ‘addict.’ They just lost their ongoing battle with their accommodation to the ‘real’ world. They will probably go forward in their life, steeped in conflict, with thoughts of what if and what could have been and self recriminations. In other words no serenity. Do I think less of them for not showing up? No. They are flapping around like a recently landed fish dying on the dock. I pity them. I wish I could do more to help them deal with their inner conflict.  I do try.

The pacifier falls from his mouth and even before I hear it hit the floor he says, louder than I expected, "I will never fuck you again, Kristen." And almost before he even gets the words out he immediately grunts and convulses. I know he's orgasming before I see the spurts of cum escape out the waistband of his white and baby blue diaper. He has been humping his diaper for less than two minutes, and his inability to last any longer drives me crazy inside. I can’t wait to find my hitachi. His mouth is open and he's breathing heavily. Now that he's cum, I want to drive this new reality. "Now, tell me again M, 'I will never fuck you again.'" He catches his breath, looks at me spent, like a puppy, a sad, broken puppy. Quietly he says, "I will never fuck you again Kristen." I'm not convinced and say, "up on your knees, and say it louder." It is taking all of my strength not to plunge my fingers under my dress and into my underwear as I watch him struggle from sitting to his knees, but I know that immediately post orgasm he needs to be made to understand. "Now, look me in the face and tell me you agree and accept that you will never have sex with me again." I see it now, conviction in his eyes, he has accepted it and the moment hits me like a ton of bricks. This feels more significant than when he said, "I do" years ago. He goes a step beyond...I am again so proud of him. So proud where I have been able to direct us.  M looks me in the face, crosses his arms behind his back grabbing his forearms, straightens himself...   "K, I willingly agree and whole heartedly accept that we will never again have sex. I fully accept that we have crossed a line and cannot go back. I am yours. I love you, I want this for you, I want this for us."  I can't stand it...I am torn by the most arousal I have ever felt between my legs and the bursting emotion inside my chest. I tear up, get on my knees with him and wrap my arms around him, we hug for a long time. When we let go we both have tears on our cheeks. "I love you" I say. "I love you" he says. 

This is not a kink message but a human, normal message. Majority of us who put work first and mental health last, I appreciate now being told off and told you need to look after yourself or your can't look after others. I can literally feel the headache like someone is poking their fingers into my brain for fun. It is raining in London and I am taking a couple of days off but the rain is doing me some good, telling me slow down, rest, grill some sausages, pour some wine, enjoy your plants that are thriving, read a book and slow down. Forget wear and tear or getting older (in my 30s so not that bothered) but I can feel the life effort reaching overload. I love helping others but might be time to consider a sabbatical.    

Orlando continues to have a markedly high number of HIV diagnoses, much like Florida as a whole, and the area is struggling to get care for those who need it, according to newly released analyses of 2021 data. That year, 618 people in metro Orlando were diagnosed with the human immunodeficiency virus, which can cause AIDS, bringing the total number of HIV-diagnosed people in the metro area to 14,298. Florida— with 5,000 new cases each year over the last decade — has among the nation’s highest rates of new diagnoses and hasn’t seen much of a decline even as the U.S. saw an 8% decrease over the last 10 years. Orlando’s rate of HIV-positive residents is higher than Florida’s average and almost double the national average, according to data released Nov. 14 on Aidsvu.org, which visualizes HIV’s impact using data from state and city health departments compiled by researchers at the Emory University  Take care of yourself. Don't be a statistic

Using a journal entry so I don't have to wait for approval to change my profile.  I'm 50 now and no longer a vegetarian.  I do not have any pets.  I'm no longer looking to move outside of Michigan.  I need to stay here due to the license for my job.  Moving within Michigan might be an option.   Things I'm truly looking for:  an intelligent, service oriented submissive who is between the ages of 40 and 55 and who is both single and available for a long term relationship.   Hard limits:  chastity, cross dressers or sissy maids, pegging, people who try to masturbate to my emails, people who have one main kink and only want that need met, people who don't read my profile, people who expect Barbie with a whip and leather catsuit.    I want to have fun with this again!

Wilhelm Reich believed that one could not fully appreciate pleasure until you first experienced pain. I believe this is the principal a Master uses to break the will of a potential slave and drive them to the depths of despair. This way once the slave's integrity is erased it now becomes a slave that can be trained and craves it's Master's attention. Even if Master takes pleasure in whipping and spanking His slave for entertainment and especially to keep the slave knowing it is Master's Property and can be used in any manner Master decides, any time Master decides. Conversely, the Marquis De Sade, it has been told, would tell His captive victims, He was torturing to death that it was alright for them to scream because nobody would hear them screaming. This is Sadism and I have no interest in this type of relationship.

You know how it's been on my mind lately, and for a while if I'm honest, about the spinning circle of the good but not right for me guy, yes? Yesterday an opportunity presented itself and I took a deep breath and set boundaries. Literally. I said we needed better boundaries because we're just friends, right? And he said, I don't know. Here's the courageous part... I said I didn't want to be a placeholder. !!! This is huge in my world, in my head, in my learning how to value myself. Standing ovation, I'm waiting.  I am guessing he didn't take it well. He said okay. And I haven't heard a peep since. Which is part of the problem. Was. Saying you want open communication and actually doing the open communicating are two very different things. As a friend I would have listened. As a friend I care and don't want to hurt him. As anything more, severed ties. Okay, more like severed ties that were reattached and cut again several times these past two years. Just like training wheels, leaning on the comfortable and convenient, being the comfortable and convenient. I'm in a much better place than I was two years ago. I don't know if you've heard, but I set boundaries. Tell your friends.  Back to me. Of course I feel bad. Worried I hurt him. Worried the timing is all wrong. And yet... not my circus, not my monkeys. You're familiar, yes? I have to remind myself of this all the time. If I ruled the world I would move from task to task, make it efficient or pretty or whatever it needed, and then hand it off to someone to continue running with my changes so I could fix the next thing. If there is a job where you are never responsible for finishing anything you start please let me know.  Oh. Right. I'm okay. I'm not beating myself up. It was long overdue. It's what I need and I'm proud of myself for following through. Sending him positive thoughts as I move forward without monkeys. 

my take of "ALLAN POE"Since childhood, I've never been Like others were - I've never seen The world as they do, nor felt the same Passions from a common flame. My sorrows don't come from their source, And joy doesn't move me with its force. All that I've loved, I've loved alone, In my childhood, when life was unknown. From the depths of good and ill, My mystery was drawn and still Binds me, with its enduring power, From the mountain's cliff and the fountain's shower. From the sun's golden autumn glow, To the lightning and the thunder's show, From the storm and the passing cloud, That in my mind, a demon shroud. Yet, though I've walked this path alone, I've found my strength in being shown The beauty and the darkness too, That others might not see or do. For in the storm and in the calm, I've found a peace, a healing balm, That's helped me through life's many trials, And filled my heart with lasting smiles. So though I may not be the same As others in this world's grand game, I've learned to embrace my unique fate, And find my joy, though it may be late.

I am slowly starting to handle some things slowly, when everything comes at me in a great mass, I shut down and that isn't the real me. I used to handle everything straight on. I have found a way to push things back more into organization so I can handle it slowly on my terms. I still drive ppl nuts because I am dominant and it my home and here it is my way or they know the outcome. Shit will hitting the an in a day or two, as the person they gave permission to store a bear skin in one of my freezers that I thought was empty and shut off hasn't made attempt to come get it. I pay to keep the damn thing in deep freeze, and no one gets why I am pissed. I want it gone so the freezer can be cleaned and sold. Yes I am trying to down size makes me laugh they think I want to leave my belongings for them to use. I get a good momentum going and then someone pulls a shitstorm and I have to deal with it, because they are all attached at the hip. Oh well life is grand if you know when to duck.

Message to a User about Tonight 3/25/2020 I actually had a pretty good time tonight with the Divorced Dad. We chatted & caught up with each other. About the kids and he finally met someone whose he been dating for a month. Still new and casual but he thinks it's going to lead somewhere. I updated him about my life & school and such. We went to his bedroom and he was naked in a flash and laid back on his bed. I went for it. He has and upward curve so taking it down all the way facing him isn't possible so I went to his side and spread my legs and let him play with my ass as I went down. I got his balls deep in my nose and he loved grabbing my head and pushing me as hard as he could and thrusting upward. I started licking his balls and lapping up and down his cock before I moved southward towards his taint then his ass. He flipped over and I gave him a great rim job for quite some time. He then flipped over and I rode his cock. I have really built thighs and great at riding up and down and doing a lot of the saddle work. He surprised me by grabbing my hips and jack ramming me (He's very muscular) We then did reverse saddle then doggy all in the same me back into him twirling back into him and him thrusting deeper. Laying his body onto mine and pumping hard and speeding up his tempo. We ended with my head over the bed and him fucking me deeply. I did gag a bit. Disappointed in that but he did cum all the way down my throat with his balls at the base of my mouth. We both laughed afterwards and chatted some more. We have stayed friends even when we didn't sleep together and I have an odd habit of sucking a cock & making weird casual yet intimate relationships where I know about what's going on and things. He said he likes how genuine I am and likes that I'm doing well with school & work and that made my night since we haven't seen each other in a while and he sees that things are going well. (I don't see sucking cocks as a detrimental thing lol)

Maintenance.... If yall do not have an updated profile how do you expect Me to trust you?  Your age, location, etc would do well to be updated prior to contacting Me.  Collar updates regularly enough and if not an update within your profile you can certainly update your JOURNAL to proper information. If we set a time for speaking, meeting, doing and you don't show up and no reason given...what is the point?  For those of you who have My personal information, chivalry is not dead.  If you are not smart enough to figure out how to apologize, what is the point?  With that said, I am not in the habit of opening closed doors.  What is the point? Remember, VERIFICATION.  You don't get close to Me and My home without exposing yourself to Me.  BIGGER and Better! I would love a mechanic type of person from time to time.  I'm a vehicle enthusiast and have some knowledge but not nearly anything to brag about. I would love to rebuild an engine side by side as project.  Last year I sold My beautiful vintage truck.  Sigh. I DO so love MUSCLE cars though just about anything that comes acrosss on Mecum will do.  To have ones breath taken away by the pull of a powerful engine is mightily exciting.  The first car I ever drove was when I was knee high and it was a lovely Mercades.  Then onto the Jaguar...  My first car was a custom 500 with a suicide knob...and boy could that baby go! That was the car of My first speeding ticket!  I was crusing down Interstate 93 doing 120, when I moved My hand away from the side rear view mirror and to My chargrin there was a state trooper, hot on My tail, lights flashing (no siren) just keeping pace with Me.  I won't forget that troopers face for the rest of My life.  He didnt make eye contact and just said, "I have a ticket for you and you will need to pay it by this time or show up in court.  If you show up in court, I will tell the judge that you were doing WELL OVER 80 MILES PER HOUR and you will have your license taken away."  I paid the ticket and got a radar dectector.  lol Still, I have a relative hot spot for all things mechanical.  This brings Me to My love of steel...but THAT is another topic for another day!      

this is my dream This is not a fantasy. This is the ache beneath my ribs— the lullaby I’ve hummed to the stars since I first learned to wait. I have waited with my heart open like soft hands, through silence, through stalling, through the almosts that never quite stayed. I dream of a man who is not just Daddy in name, but Daddy in soul— the kind who meets me at the door with arms that feel like Sunday morning. Where I kneel, not in performance, but in reverence— because I know I am held. Because I know I am safe. I want to kiss his feet every day— on the good days, with laughter between us, on the sad days, when the world is heavy, on the angry days, when we tremble but choose not to run. Not out of duty, but devotion. I will pray over him. Not because he needs saving— but because I need to witness his peace, his purpose, his path made light. Because loving him is my quiet altar. I don’t want a scene. I want a sanctuary. I want someone who learns my rhythm and holds my chaos like something holy. To be kissed on the forehead because I am more than pretty— I am precious. To be told "good girl" in a voice that knows I am doing my best, not just being obedient. To not have to explain why I cry after sweetness, why soft love undoes me, why I tremble when someone finally stays. I’m not waiting to be played with. I’m waiting to be kept.

Columbus has been feeling… quiet lately. Not in the peaceful sense—more like the kind of silence that comes when there’s a lack of presence. A lack of structure. A lack of men who understand what it means to offer themselves with intention. I’ve been observing more than engaging, and what I see is a pattern—too many who talk about submission, very few who live it with consistency, discretion, and discipline. That’s where my attention has been shifting. I’ve been considering creating something more… curated. A private space designed for those who understand devotion beyond surface-level interaction. Not performative. Not chaotic. Structured, intentional, and centered around real standards. Access would not be given lightly. If you’re the kind of man who needs constant attention, reassurance, or direction just to function—you won’t last. But if you’re composed, self-managed, and understand that true submission is proven in silence just as much as in service… then perhaps you’ll find yourself exactly where you belong. Columbus may be quiet—but I won’t be for long. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

COVID hit our community hard, and I have a few slave friends that lost their Masters.With no continuity plan in place, it is difficult for a slave. This, the House, helps address that. And it is a passion project for Myself. A way of giving back to a community that has altered My life for the better. On a personal egoic level, of course it is nice to be the Master of the House. But, it also is structured to survive My own passing and continue to care for its members. It is pan sexual in nature and can be grouped in different houses, gay, lesbian, trans, etc. as well as professional, career, orientation. There are a lot of moving parts to this. .... That said, the question is does one wish to be part of something bigger than itself. And to be owned and serve.you will be required to contribute to the home by being able to support yourself. It is a self sustaining operation.As a Master, My responsibility is to provide structure and an opportunity for the slave to serve and to be owned. Its primary service is to the Master, then its brothers and sisters, and then the House as a whole.That is what this Master offers all who come.

It's irresponsible of me to remain a mystery for too much longer, so here is my first journal entry. I am excited to have a potential play partner, a wonderfully sexy sub-leaning male switch. That means I'm not actively search in for a partner right now. I am open to meeting mentors and making friends.  I have some scattered experience as a service top and bottom, but I feel ready at this point in my life to explore my dominant side more.  I absolutely love seeing the male body tied up. There's something about a man tied down or tied up, completely helpless and at my mercy. I have a dream of assembling a little album of beautiful shibari starring my sweet switch as the muse. I appreciate any recommendations of good shibari resources. Messages from enthusiastic riggers and rope bunnies are more than welcome.  I'm also curious about male orgasm control, I'm looking for some fun games to play involving edging or bondage.  If you're still reading I suppose it's fair to describe myself a little. I'm a natural redhead with a soft body. I have a very specific taste in men, some of you know what, of which I have an insatiable appetite for. I'm sensual- I love to enjoy good food and music and great sex. I'm not a very strict Domme and I'm not a very obedient sub, but I think I make up for it by being a pretty good time! I'm writing this to round out my profile and to record the start of my journey as a Domme. If you feel compelled to message me after reading this, you're welcome to, but please don't be boring, I have to be selective about who I reply to now. -MM

Dont be afriad to talk to me, but can we talk about life first. Always opened to talking to  Doms Dommes Switches Slaves Subs. 

Thought for today.... A mediocre Dominant tells,  a good Dominant teaches,  a excellent Dominant explains ...  but a true Dominant Inspires.

It may have taken nearly two years but the world is back and so am I.   Very excited to meet you!   Let's chat.     

Sometimes physical things are not the heaviest things to remove.  Told that just now to a friend who recently lost their mother, and was tasked with cleaning out the house.  Sometimes i say things so deep, that i make myself pause and think. Last night, i was venting to one of the people in my RPG guild in ESO.  He was saying how he just needed reminders about posting stuff on the site and whatnot.  i told him i was done giving him reminders, and he asked why.  That was when a dam i hadn't known was ready to break, burst.  i told him, that if someone really wants to do something, they will do it.  They will do whatever they must, to ensure it happens. i reminded him that he has a wife, and a professional life, and he must be doing well enough to govern himself.  i asked him, who looks after me, who gives me reminders to do things? i reminded him, how i have -no one-.  i have sticky notes all over the place, a phone full of alarms and reminders, because my memory is crap... How is it fair, that i should have to hand-hold grown adults in the guild, to remind them and chase after them to look after their own characters.  Told him i was done, time people sink or swim. Of course, all that has ~nothing~ do to with the Lifestyle or genre on this site... Just another peek though, into my mundane life.    

I've been trying not to add any new journal entries because I don't think people really read them. But I don't want my profile to be super long (especially since the punctuation gets removed), so I'm going to add this journal entry AND put a note in my profile to refer to it.  1) I am very appreciative of the people who send a quick, complimentary note. As I'm sure everyone on this site is aware, there are more men than women, so if I don't respond - it's not because I'm rude - or I don't think you're attractive - more than likely it means that a) you are not local or b) I saw something in your profile that indictated that we are not a match. At first, I was trying my best to respond to every seemingly sane person how messaged me, but I simply don't have the bandwidth to do that AND respond to people who genuinely might be a match.  2) I was on this site once before YEARS AGO, or it's former iteration, collarme, and I left the site when I found a match. I trained with that particular Dom until he moved away and while I didn't move away with him, we remained friends, so I had fond memories of this site. After that D/s relationship, I tripped and stumbled back into a vanilla relationship. My photos are new, but I don't think I look SO very different that anyone I conversed with wouldn't recognize me. Maybe I'm delusional, so let me be fully transparent, my former screen name was sweetlucky7's. I have noticed that some of the Doms messaging haven't updated their photos since that time ;-).  But I digress. If you and I conversed a decade ago and it didn't go well, and you 'recognized' me and you've reached out to me again - with a new profile name and no photos - please don't waste time with some sort of weird vendetta. In that same vein - I'm also on Fetlife and my photos are the match the photos here on my profile. So if we didn't hit it off on Fetlife. Then you saw me here and decided to message me ... Please don't. This is a waste of time for us both. This leads me to my final point. 3) If, for some reason, you have multiple profiles on this site - and you message me from both profiles. Or, even worse, I block you on one profile and you then message me from the other profile, or if I blocked you on FetLife, please ask yourself, "What is your end game here?" I am a stranger to you. If we are not a match, that just means that we are not a match. It doesn't mean you're awful. It doesn't mean I'm awful.  There's no need to send me crazy messages or warn me that "I don't know what I'm missing out on." Remember the old adage, 'the best thing you can do to someone who doesn't appreciate you ... is to remove yourself from that person's life. This loss will sting the most."  Also ... if you're messaging me from two different profiles to try to figure out if I'm 'juggling men on the site' or 'lying about who I am' - I think that a) you might have some unrealistic perceptions about how online dating works - communicating with multiple people as part of a general veting process is typical; and b) the need for this type of subterfuge is good indication that your basic trust issues might mean  you're not a good candidate for online pursuits (kink or vanilla). Even if we aren't a match - I wish you all the best of luck in your search!

It's interesting to carry on with my processing of th eexperience I had last week.   Did I enjoy it - not really.  Am I going to do it again with that Master?  No. But it doesn't alter the fact that He 'marked' me.  Nothing can erase the fact that I knelt at his feet and drank a bladderful of his piss; noting can erase the fact that I worshipped his ass with my tongue; nothing can erase the fact that I submitted to him giving me a full enema and then watching as I sat on th etoilet to let it all come out; nothing can erase the fact taht I grovelled at his feet and sucked His tow.  Nothing can erase the fact that I called this other Man 'Master' and allowed myself to be totally debased by Him. And all that for someone I didn't actually like or get any kind of buzz from. Now I'm thinking:  how low would I go for a Man that i really longed for?  Is there anything I wouldn't do? Perhaps I really am veyr submissive after all!

WELL!!!  What can I say?  I have been a Goddess to all low life loosers and it seems the older I become the more my temper and patience grows shorter as I am constantly having to turn so many loosers away, and believe me!! Goddess Davinia Jade does NOT get any satisfaction from turning male and cd/tv subbys or pathetic males who cheat on their wives and beg ME to take control of their lives, in every way. Dare YOU become a special pet to The Goddess Davinia Jade, SHE WHO WILL BE OBEYED, SHE WHO IS CONSTANTLY IN YOUR MIND,  SHE WHO BRINGS REAL HAPPINES AND MEANING INTO YOUR LIFE  SHE WHO GIVES YOU A REASON TO LIVE  Only you, the real looser, can make that decision, so act NOW and apply to your Goddess, and I Expect, NO I WANT to see a well written mail with plenty of reasons as to why this Goddess should even consider you and take some of her precious time to answer your mail????  Then again if you dont try you will never know, never reach that high state of personal happiness and excitement.   

I've been following the discussion about the idea behind sexuality, gender roles, and gender of the Gods as it relates to those who worship the spirit of nature. One thing that need to be clear is that when it comes to the spirit world according to most religious traditions (paganism included) gender is a characteristic of the physical world. Granted that we all conceive the divine according to cultural patterns that shapes our understanding of what and how the Gods relate to this world. One important characteristic comes from the way we choose to relate and express intimacy with each other and by extension to the divine. If we assume that the divine realm is an ever present reality then when we perform any duty or activity they are infused with that numinous quality that elevates everything to the realm of perfection. Having said that, our sexuality which is as they say "an accident of the flesh" attract the Gods as a way of communing and partaking of that that is universal.  I we establish a divine relationship with the God of nature let's then look at nature to guide us in ascertain the true nature of the God. In nature the diverse ways in which sexuality is expressed provides a canvas to see that the God is at times active, at times passive, and at times neither.   Male to male sex is a show of strength on a different power stream. One partner is the guiding energy and  and the other is the guided energy. Both partake of the divine order of things. So that was divided becomes one in the union of both forces mating. Who is then the divine? Both are because the God moves freely from the phallus to the receiving vessel and back uniting what was broken into a divine whole. The idea of Top or Bottom is foreign to divine; love and bliss is its true nature. Unity is the key to that that makes us human, sex and fulfillment. Then the God is neither a Top or a Bottom he becomes what his lover wants him to be at that glorious moment in which orgasm elevates our humanity to the realm of eternity.

Adding a journal entry because updating my profile takes forever. I might add or update these as I go. Also, I hate the formatting here.  I get a lot of messages from potential submissives, so I thought I'd make a little FAQ to help all of us out. Please read before messaging.  Can I be your sub? If that's your first message, no. I'm looking for local or nearish subs for real time interactions. I'm also looking for a specific arrangement. Most importantly, I'm looking for subs I can have a vanilla connection with. If me being human is a turn off for you, then I'm not the Dominant you should be talking to. Do you have a screening process?  I do. I can provide more information if you're interested. If you're not willing to screen, don't message me.  Why haven't you answered my message? There are many reasons I won't answer a message. Your profile has no picture and your bio is empty. Your message is a request of some sort. Your message is just "hello". You've said something I find offensive.  But my message was a compliment! Why won't you answer that? Very likely because you've sent something like "you're beautiful" or "I love your feet". And that's it. It's what I call a bait message, where you throw out a one liner statement and I'm meant to respond either with a compliment or by starting the conversation. If you can't be bothered to write a thoughtful message, I can't be bothered to respond.  I'm not on here much, can we talk elsewhere and get to know each other better? I will not give out any information about my socials or other profiles until I feel like there is a connection and I'm interested in getting to know you better. Until then, yes, you will have to log in here to talk to me. If that's too much to ask for, well.  *shrug*

I can't believe it's been more than 6 months since my last journal enrty... Let's get started with my usual public declaration: I am subMeghan. Right now, as I type this, I am completely nude wearing only my glasses and my dog collar... Recently I've been playing around with ChatGPT and for fun, I asked ChatGPT to write a blog entry for me about BDSM collars. Afterall this is COLLARSPACE.com!!!! Here's what ChatGPT wrote.  I was impressed!  What do you guys think?   Welcome to SubMeghan's Picks, a blog written by Meghan - a woman who loves BDSM and experimenting with different types of collars. Collars are a popular item of BDSM gear and can be used to symbolize ownership, humiliation, and control. In this post, I'm going to discuss five different types of collars and the pros and cons of each.  Dog Collars: Dog collars are my favorite type of BDSM collar. They are typically made of leather or metal and are often decorated with spikes or other adornments. Pros of a dog collar include the fact that they are durable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they are commonly associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they are not adjustable and can be difficult to fit properly. Spiked Collars: Spiked collars are a great way to add a bit of edge and danger to your BDSM play. Pros of a spiked collar include the fact that they are adjustable, making them easy to find the perfect fit. The spikes can also add an element of humiliation as they can be used to cause pain. Cons include the fact that the spikes can potentially break the skin if not used properly. Leather Collars: Leather collars are a classic choice for those who want to explore BDSM. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and come in a variety of styles. They are also a great way to add humiliation, as they are often associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they require regular maintenance to keep them looking their best. Choke Collars: Choke collars are often used in BDSM activities, as they can be used to control or restrict a partner. Pros of choke collars include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation and control. Cons include the fact that they can be potentially dangerous if used incorrectly. Posture Collars: Posture collars are designed to restrict the movement of a person's head and neck. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used to force a person into certain positions. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they restrict the movement of the head and neck. Cons include the fact that they can be difficult to fit properly and can be uncomfortable to wear. No matter which type of collar you choose, it's important to use safety practices and to discuss expectations with your partner before engaging in any type of BDSM activity. With the right precautions, collars can be a great way to add a bit of excitement and humiliation to your play.   Until next time... subMeghan

"She knew he was about to finish. She could tell. His grip on her hips got stronger, his breathing picked up, he started going even faster. It wasn't exactly subtle, but it wasn't anything he needed to hide anyway. She kept doing what she'd been doing from the moment he slid in: moaning, pushing back, being for him. He came. She did not. They stayed locked together panting a few moments. His cock twitching, emptying into her. Her head hung low. He gave her a squeeze and a kiss on the back of the neck.It wasn't as though she used to cum from being fucked, at least not all the time. It was just that she used to care that she didn't. There's be disappointment, there'd be frustration.Now, she didn't even notice. It didn't cross her fluffy, mostly-empty mind. The constant need was normal. The itch to be scratched had stopped being an itch, just become part of how she was. That she even could have cum from being fucked had long been forgotten.Good girls don't cum, so... what?  Nothing was missing. When he pulled out she turned around straightaway, like she'd been trained, and took his cock into her mouth. To clean herself off of him, to clean whatever drops of him he hadn't left inside her already, and to thank him for letting her be useful.It had felt good, obviously. So good. So, so good. But it wasn't for her. It was for him. Just like all of her was. She had purpose now, not like before. He'd saved her from that, given something better to her. Given her what she'd really been meant for. So being thankful was important. Certainly, much, much more important than cumming could ever be."  

Old profile removed July 6, 2025 All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked. Yes, I know Collarspace's filters remove some punctuation. That's not what I am talking about. Three sentences, not one long run-on sentence.   I am a switch. I have not bottomed or submitted since 2016, but if you cannot handle your dominant or top taking the bottom side I am not the one for you. I am NOT looking for a dominant or top, hence identifying my profile as a domme. I do not reply to dominants or tops looking to dominate or top me.   I am polyamorous. I live with my wife Raine. She is aware of this profile and what I am looking for. She and I are play partners working back toward a power exchange that ended during the worst of the isolation because of COVID.   I am not looking for an Ms relationship or an Op relationship. If you self identify as a slave we are not compatible. I am not a female supremacist and I do not practice TPE.   If you are younger than 25 please do not apply.   What I AM looking for are local play partners, lovers, and or submissives. Local means in or around San Antonio. I am not looking for someone to relocate, move in with me, or play with me while they are visiting San Antonio.   My ideal submissive is service oriented and open to a variety of play styles and techniques, and open to trying new things. My ideal play partner has interest in multiple kinds of play and enjoys intense play and receiving pain.   Giving cunnilingus is a soft limit. Receiving cunnilingus is not high on my priorities list, although it can be lovely. I LOVE dildo play and fisting. I have reservations about strap-on harnesses.   If you are not in the San Antonio, TX area regularly, don't contact me as a potential submissive or play partner. I don't "play" online and I have no interest in choreographing elaborate scenes for you to act out on webcam to fulfill your fetishes. I am living my flesh life and I don't have time for an online life. Friendship and conversation are welcome, but no leading questions trying to get me to provide fap fodder.   My dance card is sometimes (over)full but that's the way I like it. There IS room in my life for a full time submissive should I come across one who is compatible with me.   The remainder of my profile remains intact from before:   I find minds sexy more often than I find bodies sexy, though I can certainly appreciate a sexy body! I love intelligence and learning, enjoy teaching what I know and learning from others, be they friend, lover, submissive, Dominant, switch, or myriad role identities.   I'm open to finding kinky friends who can hang out at home with or without play, play partners who share my interests, lovers, or submissives. Or all of the above. A poly pansexual service oriented submissive who likes edgy as well as everyday play, can take intense pain and get satisfaction from it, and wants to serve a BBW Domme would be great. ~Santa, here's my list, no, I'm not holding my breath.~   Micro e-mails are a pet peeve of mine. Write an e-mail with at least three sentences. But don't send me a novella either - it takes getting to know someone before I'm motivated to read something overly long. One or two paragraphs is great. You could tell me what you liked about my profile, why you are writing (friendship, submission, playing, learning?), tell me a little bit about yourself.   I'm looking for a submissive that gets fulfillment from both service and play. I'd like to find one whose mind and body both attract me. I want to find a submissive and/or play partner who loves to explore, who loves lots of kinds of play, who finds intensity and connection sexy and hot and gets a lot from the connection in a scene not just what type of play is being done. I want to find someone who is up for light spanking and tickle play one day, and a wicked caning another, who can handle flames licking across their skin and delight in it just as much as a tongue's caress. I want someone who can play light and silly as well as deep and intense, who can enjoy something as mundane as a spanking while still being open to trying hot, sexy, edgy, rough shit.   But it's not all about play. I want a submissive who gets along well with me, who is a delightful conversational partner, who is intelligent and sometimes witty. I would love to find a submissive who helps me with my flaws and supports me in my own goals as much as they work to improve themselves and make me proud they are mine, to be in my service. I want a submissive who is willing to help out, whether it is helping me fold laundry and dry dishes or brainstorming a website design. Gimme gimme! A submissive who loves to learn! A submissive who loves to serve! A submissive who loves to play! A submissive who loves letting go of control! A submissive who is self aware, practices self honesty, and communicates clearly! I'm not interested in someone whose ONLY interaction with me is for BDSM, or for play, or for sex. I want to find someone who can become a part of my life, who feels comfortable joining me for vanilla hangout time, sexy snuggle time, as well as kinky dress up and play time.   But that doesn't fully describe it either. I want to find someone who feels that submission is about more than doing chores or taking a good beating. Where is that mind hiding that WANTS to be told to do something disagreeable, because submitting is sometimes about doing what you DON'T like. A submissive who knows saying "I don't like that" is a way of giving me more control. That it doesn't mean I won't do it any more, it just means when I do it I will do it DELIBERATELY!! Are you out there, craving someone who isn't afraid to deny the things you like just to watch you squirm and make you beg for them? Where is the submissive who loves high protocol as well as casual time? Where is the submissive who can make offering to take my plate into the kitchen touch my heart? Where is the submissive who isn't ashamed to kiss my feet in front of friends, who wants to be the best they can be so that I can be proud to own them? Are you out there, unready to give everything to a stranger, but wanting to let go and give up control, incrementally, as trust develops?   Read my journal entries to learn a bit about me. This is long already, so I won't start trying to describe who I am, but if you'd like to know, ask and I'll probably answer.

52M Dom/Daddy london uk, Seeks *relocatable* live-in 18-25 any cis girl must willing to Anal Training i am Master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole=Anal Training for younger female),I am not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to Anal Training for younger= one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed (with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me on telegram analmandingo or PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!.I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake ! Basic tasks for the girl what to be my slave 1_ you must be naked or basic dressed you will be touched regularly by me I love to have my hands all over you 2) you must suck a minimum of 2hrs per day my cock .3. you will get spanked or whips minimum 30 shots per day as to remind you, you are mine .4. you will be rape play daily as ATM mouth fuck .5. you must rim me regularly after u cum it relax me .6, you need to wear a plug Or plug tail Or the hook posture ,7.piss whore you will get my golden rain in or on your face ,8, you must wear a collar as show of respect to me.and you will be training to wear a plug daily t! .9. do what I said or get punish the way i want or like . listen to what I need and make sure I get it from you 10. You will sign a contract to show me you understand Snapchat DomPadrone telegram analmandingo not for sex chat i do not fit in. never did.never wanted to , I do not mix with sh*t.

Aceasta este o ușă pe care ar fi bine să o lași închisă. Există ceva în spatele lui pe care nu vrei să-l dai afară și în viața ta. Sunt lucruri care nu sunt înțelese de oameni, lucruri care pot pătrunde prin furnirul de material pe care îl numim realitate. Lucruri împotriva cărora nu poți lupta și pentru care nu poți găsi ajutor, lucruri care nu pot fi explicate și care nu vor fi ignorate ca o simplă coincidență. Pleaca acum. Unele lucruri sunt mai bine lăsate netulburate. Nu sunt altceva decât un mincinos și un hoț, sunt un escroc și o să te rănesc. Nu sunt o persoană bună. Sunt înșelător și nu am conștiință, tot ce iese din gura mea este o minciună. Te-ai dat peste mine, nu invers, nu am nevoie să-ți văd profilul complet, sunt aici de la început (cunoscut sub multe nume, fețe), l-am văzut deja, pleacă acum și pleci neafectat . Nu ești suficient de puternic pentru a mă egala, nu ai treabă cu mine decât dacă deschizi ușa asta și îți va părea rău pentru asta. Veți rămâne cu vagi concepții greșite, renunțare la fidelități, nesiguranțe personale. Minciunile sunt întotdeauna reconfortante, dar adevărurile adesea ustură. Doar pleaca

A Masochist's Dream   She does not speak at first. She doesn't need to. The silence is the command.   I'm already trembling before the first touch, but it’s not fear — it's worship.   Her fingers are the storm before the pain, tracing the outlines of where I will break, where I want to break, where I need to break… just to be remade again beneath her will.   The first strike is a kiss I’ve waited my whole life for. It lands not only on skin, but on soul — and I open to it, gasping, grateful.   Every mark she leaves is a word written in a language only we speak: a dialect of fire and obedience. My moans are not protest — they’re prayers. My tears are not weakness — they’re offerings.   And when she stops — when her breath slows, when her eyes soften but her grip stays firm — I lie there undone, not broken… but finally whole.   Because in the ache, I feel seen. In the bruises, I feel known. And in the surrender, I am free.

Chapter one - Sweet Slave (Or, How it all Began). A story I wrote for fetlife.I take the bottle of wine from the fridge and pull the cork, giving it a little time to breathe. I dice the onions, and throw them in the pan. I like that sizzling sound they make... I add the spices, then diced chicken breast. I let it brown a little, before adding the coconut milk and putting the rice on. I get a text from you - you're on your way. I start dressing the table - a rose in a vase, a candle in a brass candlestick, nothing too fancy. I'm not the fancy kind, I don't want to give the wrong impression this early on in a relationship. If this works out, I want it to be for the right reasons. The doorbell rings shortly afterwards. You're smiling as I open the door and ask you in, you genuinely seem pleased to be here - pleased to see me. "I didn't know what else to bring," you say, handing me a bottle of red wine. I smile and kiss your cheek, then take you to the kitchen, where the meal is spread out already. You give me a coy smile as I pull out a chair for you to sit down. "This looks amazing." You take a bite. "You weren't lying, you really do know how to cook!" you exclaim. "This tastes amazing, my local takeaway could learn a thing or two from you..." you giggle a little as you speak. "Honestly, it's such a simple recipe, and I just add a little double cream, it gives it something extra," I say, glad that you seem to be honestly enjoying the food. I pour you a little wine and smile at you. "I'm really glad you agreed to this, I know it must make you very nervous," I say. "I haven't had much luck with first dates in the past. I don't seem to make a good impression until someone truly gets to know me. I guess that's why I wanted to chat online for a while before we actually did this." You smile and look down at your plate, pushing food around, then taking a bite. You glance up at me and smile again, blushing a little. "I'm very shy around people I like - you know, that way," you say. "I was glad you wanted to go slowly at first too." I smile back at you, a sweetness seems to wash over me from your direction. I'm a little enamoured by you already, but I dare not say that to you, in case it scares you off. Something inside me feels your submissive nature - your little glances at me, the way you hide your face partially with your silky hair. The way you blush when our eyes meet, and immediately look at the floor, smiling. I like it. I kinda want to growl at you, but that feels premature. We finish dinner, then we sit down to watch the movie we'd decided on beforehand. Amélie. We've both seen it before and loved it, but neither of us has seen it in a long time - so it seemed a safe way to spend a little time together. I put my arm around you and we watch the film, wonderfully quirky yet romantic, watching Amélie fall for Nino. As the movie ends, I find that you've wrapped yourself up in my arms and you're clinging to my arm, resting against me like I'm a giant teddy bear. You start sucking on my thumb... I look at you for a moment. I'm not certain what to make of this action. You turn to me and smile. "I'm... I don't know why I did that..." you say, looking concerned. I smile at you, letting you know I don't mind, and you smile back, relaxing visibly. I kiss you... You tense up and squeak, then let out a little sigh as you relax. I put my hand on your back and pull you closer, you put your arms around my neck in return, and we kiss - gently at first, but heat builds up between us and it's not long before we're kissing with a fervent passion. I push you down onto the sofa and pin your arms above your head, kissing you into the sofa. You moan and put your legs around my waist. I break the kiss and growl at you. You squeak again, then look at me like a naughty schoolgirl. You have the same thing on your mind as I do. I pick you up, carry you to the bedroom, and put you on the bed gently. I start undressing you as I kiss you, getting a little rougher with each garment tossed aside - until finally I tear your panties off and toss them who knows where. I rub your pubic mound in circles as I kiss you, teasing you, and you let out a little moan. I break the kiss and look into your gorgeous, sparkling eyes. You look comfortable, I see no fear in your eyes, just a naughty twinkle. "I have something for you," I say. I take a pair of fur-lined cuffs from my side table and I secure your wrists to the headboard. I pull your legs apart and I settle between your thighs, my face so close to your sex you can feel my breath. You have a buttplug in your ass, topped with a heart-shaped crystal. I rub it gently in circles for a moment, teasing you with it. "Oh, oh, I umm..." you start to say, but I lick your clitoris and you let out a squeal. "Oh, lordy, please don't stop..." you whisper, breathlessly. I lick your clitoris until it starts to engorge, then I start sucking on it gently. You squeal again, looking down at me, and we lock eyes as I pleasure you with my mouth. "I've never... No-one's... Oh, my god..." you say, seeming a little overwhelmed. I push a finger into you gently and you gasp, your breath hitching a little. "Please, please don't stop, or I'll explode," you say to me, eyes practically begging. I feel you open up and I push another finger into you, fingering you for a few moments before I turn my fingers upward, find your G-spot and massage it gently with both fingers. You hit the back of your head on the pillow repeatedly, then lie back and whisper "What... What are you doing to me??". It barely takes a minute and you're panting. I build up pressure on your G-spot, licking and sucking your clit with more enthusiasm. You start to roll your hips involuntarily, which I take as a sign that you're close, so I up the pressure a little more, watching you closely for signs I'm overdoing it - but you just squirm on the bed, eyes closed, rubbing your cheek against your arm and gasping. You seem to be trying to say something, but you're clearly too overwhelmed to manage to get your thoughts into some cohesive form. I feel you tighten around my fingers and your body shudders. Your legs tremble gently and you arch your back. "Ohhh... Oh my... My lord... OOOOH! OOOOH FUCK!" I smile. I know you're not big on profanity, so I take this as a very good sign. Moments later, you're smiling down at me, panting. You look at me with such affection that I think you're going to propose to me for a moment, but then you say "No one's ever done that to me before. Please tell me we can do that again sometimes, it was amazing". I smile up at you. "Only all the time, gorgeous. But now, it's my turn." I pull your legs up either side of your head and penetrate you gently. You immediately squeal out in pain, screwing up your eyes. I pull out. "I... I haven't... It's been a long time..." you say. I stroke your hair and push a finger gently into your wetness. You let out a sigh, and I finger you gently, slipping in another finger, then after a while, I feel you open enough that I can slip in a third. "You're extremely tight, gorgeous," I say. You look embarrassed. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie. I'm sorry I hurt you." "I... I kinda liked it..." you say. I look at you and let out an involuntary growl. My fingers come out of you and my dick goes in. You bite your lip and squeak again. "Tell me how you feel," I say. "It hurts a little... But I like it... Please, don't stop..." you reply. You

I have a confession. I met an odd Greek guy from this site. I dumped him or he let me down and I did not take his offer to remain friends. First date he was amazing was in shock how real he was. Crashing around mine he was ok in bed but snored and really snored. Had a fantasticallly large cock and I am annoyed I did not tie him up. His cock felt, warm and pulsating and I felt fulfilled and I remember tilting my neck back and relasing hot breathing after every grind. I just recall being in sexual purgatory, being dominant but enjoying anal domination, I think the Switchy side allowed the moment to happen. He was reckless with condoms which is why I felt in the bin with him. But now and again I wish he had now NOT cocked up because I would be probably be typing my odd sexual experimental ecounters with him. I liked him, I really liked him but I was so hurt that he was reckless with protection. Not to mention AFTER sex he mentioned his trip to Africa - I am west indian Carribean and all I kept thinking is have you lost your mind you experiement in a country with a high level of minimal medicla support are you insane.  My mind spun, realising this sexy Greek guy with self- esteem issues parading as a switch on collar space may be a high risk individual who should go to the first GUM he can find. I work in a clinical setting and assist HIV patients so this is a big NO NO. I meet every day people who have trusted the wrong person, or have congential issues so passed on from familly or met people who have fallen on real hard times and the world has honestly chewed them up and spat them out and the whole reckless with condoms hit a large nerve. Now and again I reflect on how I enjoyed the snogging, I enjoyed being sexually open and it drives me a little loopy our chapter lasted 2 encounters. Omg, his tongue in on my clit, his tongue in my mouth, his tonue on my arse hole his tongue on my legs and thighs, his tongue on my nipples, his tongue on my belly button, his tongue on my neck - Fuck me! I am also still pissed he brought Alidi food and demanded I buy him steak the little shit but I honestly did like his good side just not his entitled side. Do people really deserve a second chance. He is probably just messaging other women and finding his way into their accommdation for a free overnight stay he is Greek after all. I actually liked him, annoyed by his snoring.  Honestly his snoring was bad if the Walking Dead actually happens he would have to go for survival, his snoring was that bad.  The Walking dead will hear him a mile away.  Honestlly you would have put a pillow over his face to save yourself from the zombies it was that bad. It annoys me while I feel weak I have this back flash of remembering how his tongue felt all over me and remembering the sounds of his moaning and remembering how silky his hair felt when I pulled on it during a climax. Weird, Weird, weird - maybe I will admit defeat I have lost the plot!

COFFEE AND ME I awaken to your gentle licks upon my labia what a way to start your day!!!! You assist me with my toileting needs.......you dressed me and then you take me to the kitchen..... you bring me my cup of coffee and a slice of raisin toast..... you get in position on all fours so I can put my feet up while I browse the net and enjoy my coffee and toast. I  enjoy rubbing my feet on your naked body, my feet across your balls and your lil pussy cock. You are very easily stimulated with my every touch. I do enjoy arousing you💦💦💦💦💦! I rub my foot under your belly and to the Head of your cock you are dripping my pet👅 I command you to turn over on your back...... lying flat as I drip some  butter near your navel.....I rub it through your thin hairy patch with my toes and then down to your cock with a nice even spread You like that don't you my pet....... I think to myself will I allow you to cum today....... spreading the butter  of your dick and feeling  it throb and get harder with my every touch makes me very moist......... I outline your lips with my big toe and then tell you to lick it........ I lean over taking the spoon from my coffee and rub it on your balls and I notice your cock is so hard for me but I need you to relax so I give your balls a nice little slap with the spoon.......... you let out a moan. I run the spoon up your shaft to the head of your cock moving it slowly in a circular motion then back down the shaft to your balls with another 4 slaps I then lean back and relax and allow you to lick all the butter off my foot........ my nipples are very hard and I can't resist caressing them as you clean all the butter off my foot like a good pet......... your tongue sliding through each of my toes making my nipples hard..... I'm  rubbing them and and my pussy is so moist and throbbing........ I take my cup of coffee and drip a little bit of the warm tasty liquid on my nipples.......slowly I lick my hard nipples! Gently pinching and pulling them. I bring my nipple to my mouth and slowly  suck off the sticky sweet warm coffee........Oh yes my pussy is throbbing and I know I'm about to cum........you sucking my toes and rubbing my foot like a good little pet....... make me explode my pet...........WOW  

This is not a fantasy experiment, a curiosity phase, or a place to “learn as you go.” I am looking for an obedient, emotionally regulated, experienced cuck who understands that this dynamic is built on discipline, restraint, and service..not constant sexual noise. If your idea of being a cuck starts and ends with porn scripts, frantic messages, or needing reassurance every five minutes, this is not for you. I value control, not chaos.   You should already understand that the role is not about your gratification, that obedience is shown through consistency rather than words, and that boundaries are structure..not something to push against. You must be comfortable existing in the background, supporting without needing to be centered, and maintaining composure even when attention is not on you.   Experience matters. I am not here to train basic etiquette or explain why patience is required. You should already know how to listen, wait, and follow instructions without negotiation or emotional spirals. Emotional maturity, self-control, respect for authority, discretion, and reliability are non-negotiable. I value men who can be useful without entitlement and who understand that access is a privilege.   I am not interested in men who lead with explicit language, confuse desperation with devotion, think access is owed, or collapse without constant validation. This dynamic works because I choose..not because someone begs. Fulfillment should come from knowing your place, serving with intention, and supporting my standards and lifestyle without interruption.   Communication will be clear, direct, and intentional. Silence will sometimes be part of your role. If that makes you anxious instead of focused, you are not ready. This is a privilege-based dynamic: access is earned, maintained, and can be revoked.  

 Sydisa