My First "couple" meet   i thought i had posted this, but i guess not. i‘ve been chatting, many times on cam, with the male part of a couple for a while, then then he asked if i wanted to meet. i said yes, but he then said i had to bring a long a pair of panties, i thought ok. He told me to drive to a parking lot close to his home to meet and chat. We met and chatted and then he said to follow him to his home. As he walked in, he turned around and told me to take all of my clothes off, i was a little startled, but i did as he requested. As he was still clothed, he gave my little clit a couple of tugs, told me to put on the panties i had brought along, and to follow him upstairs. It’s somewhat embarrassing to be naked in front of a clothed man and be told to put on a pair of panties! We walked into the bedroom, he told me where to place my clothes, and as i looked up, there was a computer on the desk and a chair. As he removed his clothes, he sat down in front of the computer and told me that he was on cam and I was to start sucking on his cock. At first i did not want to face the cam, but once i started on his cock, i did not mind. It took him a little while to get hard, but he tasted good and my little clit was achingly hard pressing against my panties, and soon his precum was filling my mouth then he shot his load down my throat. His first words were that he did not think i was able to make him cum, which must have made him very happy because he called his wife into the bedroom. Now, i thought we were alone in the house, so i was a little taken back when he had his wife lay on the bed and as a reward for making him cum, he let me eat out his wife! She was freshly shaved a few days ago and her hairs had just begun to grow back. After a little while, he said they had to get going so i got dressed and left. i had hoped there would be more meetings, but they moved away shortly after that.

FFS people! READ profiles before contacting someone! Yes, my profile lists me as a switch, but that does not mean I want to do anything and everything with everyone. I am looking for a male dominant, and a female slave. I am NOT looking for a male sub for anything other than maybe domestic, manual labour. I am NOT interested in a sissy, CD/TV (unless they fit the aforementioned manual labour bill), FLR, or any form of meaningful "relationship" with a submissive male. As noted in my profile here, my blog profile lists EVERYTHING I am seeking in great detail. READ IT!

Recently someone asked me in an email what five principles I would offer to submissives wanting to get into the lifestyle... first and foremost, you always have the right to stop ANYTHING at ANYTIME if you dont feel comfortable with it consensual means you both agree to and want it without coercion the best and healthiest relationships, not just within the lifestyle, are those with open, honest, non judgmental conversations that take place throughout ...not just before or after scenes casual bdsm, giving someone you dont know or trust the ability to destroy you, is about as safe as taking a ride from a stranger down a dark isolated road, it could easily be the end of your life go into it with an open mind, you dont have to know what you like or have an interest in and might learn some things you thought you didnt like you actually do, but if you know there are things that you never want to try, voice them and expect them to be respected, not all dominants are the same and those who dont respect hard limits are not true doms

¿Es necesario el amor en una relación BDSM?Respuesta rápida: depende. Como siempre dar like, compartir, comentar, seguir https://amaasht.art.blog/2023/03/19/de-amor-y-bdsm-nunca-nuevo-siempre-actual/

Update: One supposed slave interview done and gone.  He didn't understand the concept of trust, respect and communication. Oh well, his loss.  Next! Today was the first day My mother asked what My name was.  Startiling rights of passage this is.  Thank GOD I'm in therapy!  We are coping. Every six weeks or so another down shift in life.  Still, I'm so very grateful to have this woman who has given UNCONDITIONAL LOVE all of My life.  It is nothing for Me to sacrifice for those who give of their self to Me. I'm about JOY and LOVE, healing and experiencing, SERVICE, POWER EXCHANGE and MY WORLD.  While I can and do explore the depths and shadows of Myself and others, I'm most serious about sharing with people who LISTEN and do what they are told.  While I may dance on the edges, there are simply some places I have no desire to go.  Some of those 'been there done  that and have stock in those T-shirts' kind  kind of dark places.  Others are the kind where only pain, lies, deceit and harm come into play.  I'm not here to break others down.  My power, if you will, My control likes the light of day to shine down and upon in glistening delight. Lastly, looks like I may have offended some with My cunt life choice post.  It is unfortunate that some were offended. Personally, I only speak like that - brass tacks and bold - when I get offended.  I'm OFFENDED that anyone thinks the law has business with My body.  I'm offended anyone thinks they have some right over My body.  Can you imagine what men would have to say if we placed fines every time a man committed infidelity or created a law about their ejacualtion practices?  LOL perposterous that anyone thinks it is okay to create a law which takes a human right away from rather than giving to.  Life is sacred, but yall don't get to choose for Me. The only thing that laws on womens bodies does, is makes women break laws and jeaopardizes our health mentally, physically, spiritually.  The fact that any of yall can live with those consequences just demonstrates how truly barbaric and primative man can be.  With this said, I realize it is not everyone who believes in these arcane practices.  But there are obviously enough of you to have women still being treated like second class citizens.  Be careful what you ask for and wish for cause KARMA IS A BITCH!

Insatiable A work of non-fiction "How many was that?"It's a common question I ask her, while she lies there panting. Her mascara is running from her watering eyes, as she looks down her naked body at me and tries to think. Her mind, normally sharp as a steel trap, full of important information, years of schooling, and an intelligence that accentuates her sophistication, is mush. She blissfully struggles to form words into coherent sentences. "Twelve or thirteen?" She asks. We had only just begun, and I hadn't even pulled the wand out yet."Are you asking or telling me," I inquire and remind her it's her job to keep track of her orgasms. "But Sir, it's hard when they roll one into the next," she says quietly.I smile.I know she can't keep track of them when things start rolling, and the waves crash one after the next. "We'll just have to keep practicing," I say with a grin.We take a break and enjoy the meal I cooked. I enjoy cooking. Perhaps its the mastery over something so many can only do passingly, that fills me with such satisfaction. It seems to be a pattern in my life. Mastery. Control. Domination. Winning. All similar, yet different.After dinner we play chess. She's a beginner and eager to play. I smile once more. Her eagerness and joy just to play is refreshing. We play two games and I'm never in any danger of losing either one. I make quick work of both games, thinking deeply on how to most effectively secure the win as to not prolong things unnecessarily - I only inflict pain that is desired. And frankly, she deserves my best, she's been a good girl all day.As we put the pieces away, she asks if we can play some more. As mentioned, she has been a good girl all day, so I tell her of course.She has a burning need to be restrained and spanked. I build her anticipation with teasing kisses and deliberately take my time applying the cuffs to her wrists and ankles. I get her into position on the bed and attach the spreader bar to the ankle cuffs, and connect the wrist restraints behind her back.Her beautiful ass now high in the air, her blindfolded head resting on the soft blanketed surface of the bed, I begin administering what she desperately wants and needs.The orgasms begin anew when I use the wand on her clit. Sometimes they crash while my fingers apply pressure to her G-spot, sometimes while I paddle her ass. Unable to close her legs, or reach down to push the wand away, she accepts the orgasms as they well up inside her. Each forced orgasm melts her brain a little more.She's responsive on a primal level - coos and grunts - and has stopped making coherent sounds like words. Her body, mostly limp, is exhausted as it stiffens with her latest orgasm and then relaxes.I ask if she is ready to finish, and she nods slowly. The wand is put away and she counts her final 10 swats, thanking me and asking for another after each.When it's over, we cuddle. I'm still fully clothed and quite content. I tell her what a good girl she was, and how proud of her I am. She thanks me and nuzzles her sweaty form into my embrace.I smile and contemplate.Is she insatiable? She will want more again soon. Thoughts and memories of what I do to her, and how much she desperately craves it, invade her mind and linger while we are apart.Am I insatiable? The sights and sounds of her orgasms are some of my favorite things. I find that want her to experience longer and more intense releases, and for her to know it was at my hands.Perhaps, the truth is we're both insatiable.

There’s a pattern I see far too often—and it’s impossible to ignore. Too many men hiding behind loud opinions, inflated egos, and surface-level submission. Talking endlessly, questioning everything, yet completely lacking the one thing that actually matters: direction. And no—I don’t place that blame entirely on them. Without consistent interaction, correction, and instruction from the Dom side, many never develop the proper tone of submission. They don’t learn restraint. They don’t learn how to listen. They don’t learn how to respond with intention instead of impulse. So they remain… reactive. Over-opinionated. Frustrating. Not because they’re incapable—but because no one required more of them. Submission has a tone to it. It’s measured. It’s aware. It understands when to speak, and more importantly, when not to. It doesn’t push for control under the guise of curiosity or “connection.” And without structure, without standards, without a Dom who actually enforces both—most will never evolve past that noise. That doesn’t interest me. I’m not here for unmanaged energy or misplaced ego. I’m here for discipline. For growth. For those who are capable of refinement—and willing to be shaped by it. The difference is always obvious. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

Why language matters. Or, Darmok and Jalad. angeldmort 57F Domme I had a reminder this week, (not that this week is that unusual, but some cases are more extreme than others) at how important it is to have a common language in any interaction we have with others. Most of our lives, the average American at least walks around hearing English, speaking English, reading English, and assuming they understand what other people are saying. And vice versa - they assume they are understood. And yet, so much of our attempts to communicate end in misfires.   Often, it's because we don't really care enough about the interaction, and we glide along on autopilot, comfortable in the status quo quality of our interactions. We are usually getting enough of what we need out of it that we often don't even question it. Often, if there's a problem, we make a scene to make it clear that no, that's NOT what we meant, or that isn't what was said to us, etc but unless we feel slighted, or it leads to the loss of something we DO value - a comment made here that loses us a promotion, or a question not answered loses someone's interest, or a tone of voice makes us concerned for a possible loss of status- unless it's serious, it's just anger and fuss and it's over. THEN, it may become a real issue, worth some thought, but by then, it's really too late. The miscommunication has happened, the thought process it started it under way, and a feeling has been had, etc.   Stick with me here.   At it's most basic level, language is how we express a thought. It's pretty common to believe that most of the time, other people from a similar area have similar thoughts to our own about a general variety of things. We expect that they want the same basic things, because we are all human, and most of the people we deal with were raised similarly, and had similar experiences. And that they will use the same words as we do to describe them. That's where the screeching halt comes in.   "Most adult native test-takers range from 20,000–35,000 words." That's a decent vocabulary. It should mean that most of us that speak English will have plenty of words in common to have a discussion and be understood with enough clarity to make it through most common joint activities.   That said, most people don't tend to think too deeply about words themselves. Which means when you start to want more than just "enough to get by" conversation, things can get a bit complicated. And in cases where you need to negotiate something VERY specific, in depth, such as the fine details of kink or what our limits are... suddenly, your vocabulary will not only need to grow, but become very precise.   I'm not seeing that as often as I would expect from the letters I receive. In fact, the majority of people that write me seem frustrated by the need for words at all, and irritated by the requirement that we spend some time talking about anything that isn't a description of a sex act. Which baffles me... if you are wanting someone to tie you up, do ... THINGS ... to you, while you are helpless, etc, wouldn't you REALLY REALLY want to make sure that the things they want to DO are the same things you want DONE? Wouldn't you be DEEPLY interested in making sure they are the kind of person that honors your Safe Word, or who shares your definition of "honest," or who won't just walk off with your wallet and DVD player while you are tied down, or who won't turn out to be straight up batshit nuts?   I've had another rash of "own me" messages. Interspersed of course with the regular "total sub" offers.   The topic at hand isn't the "I'm a TOTAL sub!" who responds to "ok, go read this for me and tell me what you think" with "What? That's not what I want! I'm a SEXUAL submissive!" Or even the "i want to be ur slave" that can't obey enough to respond to an email on time.   This topic is about the problem that causes that problem in the first place.   I received one this week from a very pretty dick pic with an empty profile that did read enough to call me Domina, but obviously nothing else, so I sent a link to the "First Impressions" thread, and followed with "Consider Your Target Audience." You can guess how it went. Before he got to "Bye, Bitchhhhhh!" he told me he wanted me to "own" him. And he referred to himself as "very kinky like to be watched ! Masterbaiting live turns me on" (Yes, that's how he spelled it.) Meh. No great loss.   Later, sissy under consideration asked if I was at all interested by Dick Pic Guy. Aside from the obvious stunted mentality of thinking his naked dick somehow mattered, he was a good tool to explain the problem of common language/vocabulary.   While being turned on by being watched is very common, and whatever floats your boat, etc that he described himself as very kinky based on that was a VERY clear indicator that we weren't even speaking the same language in regards to kink. Much like the majority of the people that write me, he had an interest in something, and had set out to pursue that, and as it wasn't mainstream, they thought it must mean they were REALLY out there crazy kinky. (Hell, ex-husband number two thought anal was the height of twisted and kinky.) Now, obviously, there was no actual interest in submission, or desire to actually be owned, so there was no point in even considering trying to have a conversation.   However, if there actually HAD been interest, if he had just been a newbie and without clue, there would have been this huge gap of vocabulary to fill in before we could have ever tried to talk about anyth

Car service I was just notified by My car dealer that it was time to take My van in for service. What a drag. That means two or three hours out of My day just to keep that damn thing in shape. Where is My slave? My next car with be an electric vehicle. No service is required for it. Cheaper and more convenient. Gotta love it.

Haha. Seems Drumf  is a bad word on this site. Let's see if an edit makes the cut... 11/5/24 If you're a Drumf supporter, let's not waste each other's time. We will never be more than cordial acquaintances, at best. I genuinely cannot ever understand the mindset that accepts his behaviours in any way, shape, or form, let alone as leader and role model for this country and the world. Apparently some people don't understand how politics plays into a site like this. In this case, it goes way beyond politics and into morality. I can be civil, as evidenced by my opening lines here. When what I really feel in my heart is: I have no fucking use for you in my life, you fucking traitors to humanity, compassion, and decency. You call yourselves patriots and wave the US flag, all while supporting a would be dictator. You don't value Democracy, nor any of the millions of immigrants, women, disabled and/or ethnicly diverse individuals, or even children you've stepped on...y'know, people who make this country truly Great. Your red hats are just as UN-patriotic as if they were red coats. At least you got the color right, traitors.

I am so disappointed.  Again. Where are the REAL submissives, that will take a Mistress a priority, instead of when Im done work, project. If you know you can't commit to a Mistress a lot, then say so up front or don't bother wasting her time with lies. I want an obedient, submissive male that will obey and serve My pleasures.  I enjoy keeping my slave in bondage, and expect it to know its place even in vanilla. A sub/slave knows its true purpose is to serve, but if you are in a relationship, working full time, or just a computer slave, then say so or leave Me alone.   The lies, the bullshit, the waist of time is so frustrating. Ive given up twice, but come back again hoping to find a real slave searching for a life time Mistress.  I know red flags, but some of you are good liars or just too cowardly to meet.  Now im extra careful. why bother at all.............

__Do I Want A Sub or Slave?__There are many definitions of what is a sub and what is a slave, not are wrong, it's just a matter of personal opinion. I state that I'm looking for a slave, but what to me is a slave?Slavery to me isn't about having a servant without question, a punching bag, or a doormat. Slavery is a state of mind. In my mind, a sub is someone who likes to submit, but ultimately, through limiting what they submit to retain ultimate control. A slave gives over that control. It does not mean they don't have opinion, in fact they should have opinion, and those opinions should be listened to, but the ultimate control should sit with the Master. A Slave can live without constant control, but knows that with a look, or a call, they will submit to the one they call Master. A slave and a Master should move forward together, there relationship should be a balance between BDSM and 'vanilla' life. Following a heavy session, a slave should be held close, talked to, cared for, as at all times. Heavy play doesn't just have to mean a heavy spanking, but more importantly after forcing a strong psychological response from the slave. In public, and at work, a slave should always be seen as a 'vanilla' member of society, but underneath always know what they are owned. Sometimes they may receive a call, or a txt, or an email, telling them to carry out a task. It could be as simple as going to the toilet and removing their underwear, or only drinking one sort of drink in particular, but it would remind them of there ownership. Having behind there eyes that pearl of knowledge that they were owned, cared for, and controlled. A slave should be held close, cared for, and always listened to. Slavery is not being told what to do, it is giving the final decision as to what to do to the Master your trust. Many think limits need to be set in tone, but to me, slavery is without limits, or at least truly defined ones, HOWEVER, the trust control given over to the Master by the slave, means that to go beyond the limits of the slave and then to keep going without taking there opinion into consideration, is a breakdown in that trust. While a slave allows a Master control, it does not mean the master has to use it all. It is the ability to truly understand the limitations of the slave, and not over extend them, that makes one a Master, not just a bully.

my first entry since i created my account.   Its only a thinking about how much difficult to have a relationship with a person, normally its already difficult with vanilla, because you have the choice of saying your "truly desire" or just lie, like a lot of other kinkster. I did the first because i dont like to lie, trust is important, even if after this will be difficult. Then if youre lucky like me your vanilla romance can be transformed into a kinky romance. But ahaha, luck with me came only in half, she liked the kinky community but shes a dom and.. im a dom. Then having sub, slave and partner play came really fast to us, but the problem is...  I can releave my desire of spanking, doing general sadism, experiments this with her with complicity but.. Sexual desire, humiliation, degradation and dicipline/domination i can't! because both of us are dom! If the person beside you is a kinky person this can be helped but if that not the case, youre doomed! After 8 years of relationship, we will broke, not because we dont love each others but because of the path we need to take separatly. Being a kinkster if you didnt find a person to walk with you at this long life and with the same desire, same way of living, some time this will broke or you will broke. make the good choice, and assume it. only like this you will never regret it. 

I should try fishing as a sport because this site is exactly the same. You are putting out a hook waiting for a good fish to swim by. Unhooked a rotten fish last week (married again) luckily never went on a date with that fish. Stuck to my principles and my gut feeling, creepy man contacted me on his second profile.  Very creepy.  Not just cheating on his wife but on the Mistress and wanted a 3rd pond to play in. Having a me day, new underwear, new shoes and dress, hair done, nails and eyebrows, full body wax (fresh and clean), got my head focused on my priorities (my career). But I must admit while waiting patiently some very pretty fish have been swimming by. Reminds me being patient for someone good is always for the best.

June 2, 2025 - Pennsylvania red came by today.       He has been here many times before, so he knew to come into the garage where he stripped in back of the garage and put his clothing in a plastic milk carton with a written sign that says “Worthless Pieces of Human flesh are to put their clothing here before entering.”   For the first time, I had placed wrist and ankle restraints in the clothing box before his arrival. I had no written instructions, I had not told him I was going to be doing it, it was a completely new thing for him to see. I knew he would understand what I wanted him to do. And, as expected, he came in naked WITH the restraints on. It was just another level of humiliation I was putting him through.   We went upstairs and I told him I needed a blow job. I laid back on my bed, and he got up all fours with his ass to my right. He knows from previous visits that I love to play with his ass with my fingers as he is sucking my cock. As he was sucking, I put a bit of lube on my fingers and shoved them in his ass. I started with one finger, but soon I was shoving three fingers into him. He started out super tight, but I was quickly loosening his hole.   I started spanking with my hand. Not only did I spank both of his butt cheeks, but I was concentrating smacking the actual crack of his ass. Something about smacking his HOLE is a real turn on. This went on for about 15 mins, including wrapping my leg around his neck pulling him down onto my cock until he was choking, holding him there until I though he was about to vomit.   When I knew his mouth, jaws and throat were on fire from the session, I told him to get up on all fours with his ass at the bottom of the bed. I started with my fingers and lots of lube. I removed my fingers and replaced them with a long bumpy toy. I pushed it deep in his ass hoping he took the time to clean out properly. I was not disappointed. I fucked him with the toy for a while as I played with my cock with my free hand. Occasionally I would pull and tug on his balls.   READ THE ENTIRE STORY AT HTTPS://SirKel.top?collarspace

And just like that, the talks have ended and I've sent that prospective slave on her way. There were two very big (imo) factors as to why she would not have worked out. The first being a big communication problem. When I speak, I speak directly and clearly as to what I want, think, feel or am asking. If I'm asking a question, I expect an answer to the question asked. Not what you think you feel the question is or pretains to. That tells me you aren't listening to my words, just your feelings. And that will lead a slave to failure every time. The next problem is ideals vs reality. I see this as rampant throughout these bdsm sites. A slave will search for their ideals and not except that the reality is rarely, if ever, matches what their idea of being a slave is. The fact is, thought the slave wants to be kept in a cage and only brought out to be played with, bills need to be paid, the house needs to be cleaned, meals need to be cooked. These are, to me and other Masters, part and parcel to being a slave. The fantasy slavery is good for maybe a weekend or so. But not something feasible for the long run. So for now, it seems I am still looking for a slave. As I continue on this journey, I think I'll continue to use this form of media as a sounding board. 

Ethical BDSM, an interesting concept and I enjoy chewing on this a bit. Examples: A supposed vocational slave offers their self.  They present a wild origin story and present day scenario for their enslavement to you.  Later it is determined the so called slave is a liar and a fraud who has shared false information and received only truth from you. Now imagine this slave was infact already enslaved, no way out, a prisoner for all intents and purposes to another.  The slave is given leave by their Mistress to 'play' on Collar as a means of entertainment and or even as a cruelty or punishment.  The Mistress can read and or respond to any email from you she chooses or she may not.  However, she does read and lead her slave deeper into the deception.  The slave has been instructed to not expose his Mistress. Is the slave responsible for being a liar and fraud? The slave is to obey, afterall. What does this say about the Mistress?  She is well within her rights to have her slave behave as she desires, yet what she asks her slave to do is an affront to another, it V I O L A T E S.  She has directed a deception. Is this ethical behavior on her part? Does anyone care?  *** Take Masters who train a slave out of being able to act on self preservation.  Lets say they want to test this and they command the slave lay out their arm to be run over with their car.  The slave obeys, bones are broken and the slave has no further feeling in that side.  It is within their right to do so, yet what could possibly be the reasoning behind such an act?  What is ethical about training a slave to do something which causes harm to their self or another? I've come across the notion of supremicists within this realm, on opposing sides of the tracks, who justify dismantling another human being in an effort to degrade them beyond all else. Training a slave to submit to all manner of what can only be considered to be torture.  Perhaps they believe one human is less human than another.  Perhaps they have some demons of their own to work through. Or perhaps they are uneducated or scaredy cats or they themselves brainwashed with outdated beliefs since birth. Is this ethical behavior and do we really care, as a group, society or a people?  Some of this sounds like corrupted power to Me, yet who am I to judge? " Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." Just because we can do something, does that mean we are not accountable for doing it?  Such fine lines we dance between in the theatre of our likes and loves.  Of course, ultimately it is up to those involved to determine what is right and wrong, for the course.  The same can be said for any of life's avenues.  Humans have the right to do unto another if permitted.  Humans have the right to allow another to do unto them. Does this also mean one human or a group of humans have the right to violate another? To decieve or to manipulate or to mutilate and how does one determine where the line in the sand is drawn or even is there sand? Where do ethics come into play or do they?  Surely we see every day, examples of our global society grappling with the concept of ethics in everything we do. By permitting 'each to his or her own' are we not in essence saying, "I don't want you to tell Me what to do so I wont tell you what to do?"  I wonder how this makes us better, or if it even matters.  Perhaps we are too wounded or too neglected, too needful or too out of control to embrace andor be embraced by ideas of greatness.  Perhaps the final frontier is indeed paying attention to our mental health. I believe the difference between a slave and a submissive is in the consent.  I believe in consensual slavery and that a Master/Owner has the final say.  I also believe in emotional intelligence and in ethics. I'm not sure emotional intelligence or ethics really matter in the grand scheme of things, yet they matter to Me and as with all things, in degree. What if the determining factor for whether good or not good prevails in the world is held in the balance of the scales of how many people believe in good and how many believe in not good? How many practice good and how many practice greed, deception, intolerance, bullying? Imagine if what you believe, is what will happen.   

I am active in my local kink community. Or rather, I was before the pandemic and I will be again. Watching other people play is a magical experience. To witness their playfulness, their intensity, the fear, aggression, comfort, tenderness, and artistry of a scene is beautiful. I've been lucky enough to play with some wonderful, skilled tops. I've even introduced new people to different types of play. I am enriched by every experience. All of this has taught me a very important lesson about myself. Submission is a deeply intimate experience for me. When I bottom for someone that I am not connected to the drop is much harder. I can't give pieces of myself to people who don't want to keep them. So I don't do casual play anymore. No impromptu scenes, no kink only arrangements, not even bottoming for someone who is learning. This is also why I don't do LDRs. The one I submit to must desire all of me. Not just the fun kinky parts. They need to be physically here so I can touch and be touched. That is super important to me.  I know it's possible and I am a patient woman.  

  A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist   A faint glow A little light A fire is now blazing in the night   A growl A grip A forward thrust of the hip   A whimper A moan A screaming of your name   A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist  

What my submissive nature looks like:   I naturally end up taking care of others better than I take care of myself. I love to maintain a household and provide nourishment and comfort to all who dwell there. I enjoy pampering my partner. I’ve raised a child, I garden, I cook, I fix things and I take pride in a job well done.    Things I’m not so good at… selling myself, making big $$, asking for what I need or making the first move.   I’m sensitive and inquisitive. I care about the world. I’m drawn to ponder the meaning of life. I cherish touch, beauty, intimacy and indulging in carnal delights. I love truth and freedom. I adore feeling wanted, desired and useful to the Feminine. I adore giving pleasure… physical, emotional and mental. I adore receiving pleasure. I enjoy enduring erotic pain for another’s pleasure… and I cherish serving the will of a Goddess. 

Why do I exist: Why do I exist in this vast expanse? A fleeting speck in the cosmic dance, Am I a mere accident of chance, Or part of a grand, divine romance?   Do I wander aimlessly without a cause, Lost in the labyrinth of life's applause? Am I a whisper in nature's laws, Or a beacon in destiny's claws?   Do I exist to love and to dream, To unravel the mysteries that gleam? Am I a ripple in life's stream, Or a figment of an endless scheme?   Why do I exist, I often ponder, In this universe, do I wander? Am I a question without an answer, Or a journey to realms much grander?   In the silence of night, I search for clues, In the stars, in the wind, in the morning dew. Why do I exist? Is there a muse To guide me through this cosmic ruse?   Questions linger, unanswered still, In the depths of my being, an unquenchable thrill. Why do I exist? Time's hands fulfill The mystery of life, a quest until

WELL!!!  What can I say?  I have been a Goddess to all low life loosers and it seems the older I become the more my temper and patience grows shorter as I am constantly having to turn so many loosers away, and believe me!! Goddess Davinia Jade does NOT get any satisfaction from turning male and cd/tv subbys or pathetic males who cheat on their wives and beg ME to take control of their lives, in every way. Dare YOU become a special pet to The Goddess Davinia Jade, SHE WHO WILL BE OBEYED, SHE WHO IS CONSTANTLY IN YOUR MIND,  SHE WHO BRINGS REAL HAPPINES AND MEANING INTO YOUR LIFE  SHE WHO GIVES YOU A REASON TO LIVE  Only you, the real looser, can make that decision, so act NOW and apply to your Goddess, and I Expect, NO I WANT to see a well written mail with plenty of reasons as to why this Goddess should even consider you and take some of her precious time to answer your mail????  Then again if you dont try you will never know, never reach that high state of personal happiness and excitement.   

I feel the cold metal of my collar against my skin, a constant reminder of my new reality. I had signed the contract and now, I wait, could be now, or maybe never. The system decided who bought me, who owned me, but until that day, no taxes. I got to live tax free from the moment that collar locked, I was no longer a tax paying citizen. I was just merchandise on a shelf.The beep that echoes through the bookstore signals my salvation and damnation in the form of a large, commanding man. Baxter. He rushes toward me, his eyes filled with a primal hunger that sends a shiver down my spine. His hands roughly grab my arms, pulling me close as he examines me, his gaze intense and unyielding. I can't help but feel a sense of awe at the sheer size of him, the power that radiates off his body. "You're mine now," he growls, his voice deep and rough. His thumb brushes against the collar, a single drip of his blood and the control was engaged and I feel a jolt of electricity run through me at his touch. I'm his to command, his to use as he sees fit. He leads me out of the bookstore, his grip tight on my arm. People on the streets shaking their heads, another collared removed from the system, less government money wasted. I can't help but feel a sense of excitement as I follow him, my body tingling with anticipation. I've been waiting for this moment for so long, my training leading up to this very moment, to take the collar you have to serve years if service school, but no bills, no taxes, and after the rules all changed, I had no choice. As we enter his home, he turns to me, his eyes blazing with hunger. "Undress," he commands, his voice leaving no room for argument, the collar filling with heat. I comply, my hands shaking as I remove each piece of clothing, revealing my curves to his gaze. He watches me, his eyes taking in every inch of my body. "Kneel," he orders, and I obey, my heart pounding in my chest. He approaches me, his fingers tracing the outline of my collar. "You're mine now," he repeats, his voice softer this time. Then his hand clicks the l

On Realistic Expectations and the Woman You Are Serving   Let me be plain with you, because plainness here is a kindness and I have never been interested in the alternative. I attended a funeral last weekend. Alone.  I want to sit with that for a moment before I say anything else, because it is the most precise illustration I could offer of everything this journal is about. There is a specific and particular indignity in navigating grief in public without someone beside you. Not because I cannot do it, I can do anything alone, I have proven this repeatedly and without fanfare. But because a woman like me should not have to. Because the presence of a devoted and capable partner at your side during the hardest moments of ordinary life is not a luxury. It is what partnership is for. It is, in fact, one of the most fundamental things a serious dynamic should provide: someone who stands beside you in the moments that cost you something, who carries the social weight of difficult occasions, who is simply and solidly there so that you can grieve or endure or simply get through the day without also having to do it visibly alone. I disdain it. I will not dress that up. I disdain walking into rooms full of people as a woman unaccompanied, not because my worth requires a witness, but because I have built enough of a life to deserve someone who shows up for it completely, including the parts that are not beautiful or exciting or charged with the particular electricity of our dynamic. The funeral is not glamorous. It is not a candlelit dinner or a weekend in Greece. It is a Saturday in grief clothes standing in a room full of loss, and I will do it with my back straight and my composure intact because that is who I am, and I will come home to an empty house afterward, and I will feel the absence of what should be there with the specific sharpness of something that is missing rather than something that never existed. This is what I mean when I talk about realistic expectations cutting in both directions. I am a mother first. This is not a disclaimer. It is not an apology. It is the organizing fact of my life around which everything else, including you, arranges itself. I have two children in their preteen years, which anyone who has raised children knows is one of the most demanding and most critical seasons of a young person's life. They require my presence, my attention, my emotional availability, my time, and my energy in quantities that do not leave a remainder to be distributed according to your preferences. If you have arrived here expecting a Goddess with unlimited hours and frictionless availability, you have arrived at the wrong door. This weekend, I had my children.  My time was spent on them, because it is exactly where that time should be spent.  I am also finishing my education, because I am a woman who does not stop building herself simply because life has become complex. I work. I manage a household. I carry the particular and invisible weight that women carry, the planning and the anticipating and the holding of a thousand threads simultaneously, the mental labor that has no clock-out time and no weekend. What this means for you practically is something I need you to hear completely before you decide whether this life is what you actually want or simply what you have romanticized from a comfortable distance. My time is not abundant. It is finite and it is precious and it is allocated with the precision of someone who cannot afford to waste it. There will be days, entire stretches of days, where the children need me and school demands me and work requires me and what is left over is not nothing but it is quiet and it is mine and I will spend it restoring myself rather than managing your need for attention. This is not neglect. This is the reality of serving a woman with a full and serious life, and if you cannot hold yourself with dignity and purpose during those stretches then you are not the caliber of person this dynamic requires. A serious long term FLR TPE with a woman like me is not a constant performance of dominance and submission playing out in real time every hour of every day. It is a structure. It is an understanding so deeply embedded in the way we live that it does not require constant activation. It runs underneath everything, informing how the household operates, how decisions are made, how resources are allocated, how your time and energy are directed even when I am at a school pickup or a study session or simply in a bath with the door closed and my phone face down. Your place in this dynamic is to raise me. Not in the sense that I require raising. In the sense that your devotion, your service, your resources and your effort should be oriented toward elevating my life, reducing my load, creating space around me so that I can be the mother, the student, the professional, and the Goddess that I am without the additional friction of a partner who has become another item on my list of things to manage. You are not here to add to my weight. You are here to carry some of it. That means the household runs because you run it. It means my children's lives are easier because our home is stable and managed and full of the kind of calm that only exists when someone competent is handling the infrastructure of daily life with care. It means you have found your purpose and your structure in the service itself, not in the moments of explicit dynamic play, because those moments are real but they are not the whole of what this is. The whole of what this is lives in the Tuesday afternoon when I have a deadline and a tired child and you have already handled dinner and the house is quiet and I can do what I need to do because you have made space for it. It lives in the Saturday morning of a funeral when I do not have to walk in alone. That is the submission I am describing. Not the aesthetic of it. The actual weight-bearing practice of it, daily, in the ordinary moments that make up most of a life. The grief clothes and the school pickups and the late study nights and the hard weekends. The presence that does not require the occasion to be significant in order to show up for it completely. If you can find your satisfaction there, in the real and unglamorous work of elevating another person's existence, then you understand something essential about what I am offering and what I require. The collar and the candlelight exist. They are real and they are extraordinary. But they rest on a foundation of consistent, intelligent, humble service that asks nothing of me except that I receive it well. I receive it very well. But you have to bring it first, and bring it correctly, and bring it to the funeral as readily as you bring it to the beautiful moments, because the funeral is where it counts the most and the beautiful moments are easy. I am worth the patience. I am worth the long view. I am worth showing up for on the hard Saturdays. The question is whether you are the person who actually does.

I don't know when I'll update my main profile, so here's a little about me: I was born in 1974. My hair is much longer than in my pictures here. I rarely initiate contact, but usually respond. I am open to online play, though would love something irl. I will send newer photos upon request. Also: == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Rope bunny  100% Degradee  95% Masochist  95% Submissive  89% Pet  84% Exhibitionist  71% Switch  61% Rigger  60% Degrader  58% Experimentalist  52% Brat  49% Vanilla  46% Voyeur  44% Non-monogamist  42% Slave  42% Ageplayer  41% Sadist  35% Owner  33% Dominant  32% Primal (Prey)  15% Master/Mistress  13% Daddy/Mommy  6% Primal (Hunter)  5% Brat tamer  0% Boy/Girl   

It was way too soon to be sodomized the first time someone tried.  I just couldn't take it.  It hurt so much that I avoided anal sex until I was in my early 50s.  Realizing how many years I wasted being afraid turned me into the eager slut I am now.  It's true.  I can't speak for anyone else but I have heard this happens to a lot of betas.  Anymore when anyone fucks me I lose all sense of manhood and experience a surge of femininity until they finish, sometimes even longer now.  It feels so right but it doesn't last like I want it to.  I'm sure the day is coming when I'll remain a gurl permanently. There are Doms and Dommes here who want submissives like me to feminize and control.  I might be the ideal one to serve you long term and live-in. So, please tell me, how can I serve you?  How do you see me fitting into your household and improving your life?  

Sir , You don?t have to be gay or bi to own male property. Yes , I know you Straight Alphas are here mainly looking for pussy to use and I also know you are looking for a female slave who will be compliant and obedient and do all of your housework , cooking etc? So , you are looking for two things 1 ? pussy to fuck 2 ? A slave to be a domestic slave and take care of all of your domestic needs. At the moment , you have neither. How many years have you had neither ? The option available is to use a faggot male gimp to fulfil your domestic needs. You don?t have to have sex with it ? hell , you don?t even have to look at it . Keep it hooded and in chains and put it to work. If you want to make it look aesthetically pleasing you could even keep it in head to toe latex, waist cinched, giant fake boobs , masked and in towering heels. From morning till night , you simply use it for all of your domestic needs. Cooking , cleaning , laundry , ironing , gardening , cleaning your car , maybe even put it to work in your business. You don?t even have to get out of bed to take a piss in the middle of your sleep at night. Just summon your gimp using your electro shock dog collar and have it come to you and open its mouth. It is always hidden out of sight , from friends and family. Stored in a pare room , garage or outhouse , caged or boxed and gagged when not in use. You carry on with your life much as you do right now . You still continue to seek out pussy. You see this gimp slave is merely an object in your eyes , a thing to make your life easier. It does not question , it does not make a sound ( as it is perpetually gagged ) it simply awaits instruction and obeys. ?An extra in my home is gonna cost me , financially? ? well , actually , not that much. Naturally, you have to feed and water it , but , this can be done in conjunction with your own intake. Just an extra meal or snack whenever you have one. When its daily work is done , you can use it as human furniture , or as an ashtray , so , it has more use there . Or, simply return it to its cage and lock it up for the night. No one will ever know that you have a male gimp object making life easier for you. This object is free to fulfil that domestic need for you Sir. It could be relocated to you if you set up the right environment i.e invest in chains and a cage or box to store it . This all makes sense Sir , please do get in touch.

Em (they/them), a disabled, nonbinary, Dominant human is looking for service creatures who want to be helpful and engage in service with someone who is very appreciative.    Tasks may include but are not limited to:   - Adventures in grocery shopping - Domestic assistance including but not limited to: dishes and kitchen care, laundry help, meal prep, and execution - Secretarial type work including but not limited to: admin type stuff and even just dictation, often regarding the podcast or other form of kink  education) - Grooming and beauty maintenance including but not limited to: bleaching and dying my hair, special occasions might call for doing my hair and makeup or helping me pick out clothes (and get into them if corset or leathers)   Requirements:   - Not bothered by 420 smoke (welcome to partake in the house) - Ok with big dogs (12 year old couch potato pittie) - Not a devotee, chaser, or “BBW lover” - I am more than my body. - I practice ethical nonmonogamy and currently have one partner, my husband. I am open to other relationships starting. Must be ENM or strictly platonic with me. - Open to all genders and orientations (except romance with heterosexual cis people as they wouldn't be interested in me anyway unless they saw me as a woman) - Age: 25-40 - Near Hutchinson, KS and willing to drive to me   Things I can offer in exchange: - a place to provide service that is meaningful and helpful - a space to be yourself in your gender and social expression - companionship - praise and appreciation  - education - training and skill development - advice - emotional support - tasks (toward personal growth) - accountability - sensual interactions (i.e. hugging, cuddling, playing with hair, etc) available if compatibility and connection felt and when negotiated. As a demisexual individual, I prioritize forming a deep emotional connection with someone before engaging in any kind of play or sexual interaction. I am also open to things staying platonic/casual. - kink play available to be negotiated occasionally if we happen to have an overlapping fit of interests.   I am into the idea of multiple people filling these roles as they are able. If you would like to apply, please read my profile (to confirm) and DM me introducing yourself and what you'd like to negotiate.    I look forward to hearing from you and seeing if we are a good match.  

I'd like to thank Master Thatch from Michigan for His very insightful comments on the issue of Ownership which I found very reassuring!  Thank you Sir!   "My last boy was owned We both live in the United States He lived in Ohio I live in Michigan We had a long distance Master and slave relationship Its possible You dont have to be a live in to be owned Now Im not saying that Master is wrong Every Master has their own ideals and definitions so theirs may be live in slaves are owned So that would indeed make them right but my definition of owned is when a boy has kneeled and pleaded their mind, body and soul to me and I have placed a collar around their neck and we are intertwined in a relationship Distance isnt an issue And Im not into live in slavery The relationship is monogamous, the boy is owned by only one Master and has only one Dom and that is me However that boy was leased out to other Doms from time to time"

Keeping in mind that as soon as I saw that he had written before, I rolled my eyes and made a choice to respond, knowing how this was gonna go, and since I'm in a mood, it was slightly amusing and I almost chuckled when he did exactly what I expected him to do. Which I'm sure would have pissed him off worse... I received this today from someone listed as a Dom, who had contacted me well over a year ago, then again last December. Just 4 months ago, but he's once again completely forgotten that he wrote me before, that he was asked to do something then disappeared, forgot that he had written the second time and was REMINDED, and asked if he had done it yet, but wanted me to commit to being interested (in someone who had ghosted once already and hadn't done anything he was asked to do, which was to read and EDUCATE HIMSELF, not do anything that benefited ME, but instead forgot even speaking to me) and now he's written me again. With the same message as the first two times. 3/6/22 6:48 AM "Good morning, Miss, Hope you are doing well I am wondering if per chance you could possibly be open to a 64 going on 34 year old sub and iring slave located in North Aurora, west of chicago who is intelligent openminded kinky adventurous fun and selfassured about who and what he is? Most of all one who seeks a true Owner and Domme who is a totally devoted to you like me? It is so hard to find a genuine and suitable Domme and Owner in this lifestyle I hope you find me to be exceptional seems like we want the very same thingfor You to take total control of memind body and soul And what you depict your profile is quite interesting and just what I know I need Although my profile says I am a Dom, I have come to realize I am a stone sub I have the ability desire and wherewithal to host and come visit and ultimately relocate should it come to that I travel your way quite a bit on business But most of all I would love to just have the honor and privilege to get to know you you seem so genuine Hope to hear from you"   This is what I wrote him just now. I think it was pretty mild, all things considered. "angeldmort on 3/6/22 at 7:20 AM: Considering that we had a conversation not 4 months ago and you've already forgotten that, I guess not And you obviously didn't read my profile THIS time, either So youve spammed me twice, I let you off the hook last time and had a conversation anyway, and now you are back having done the same exact thing, so you learned jack shit last time and are telling me either how forgettable I am, or how incredibly forgetful and lazy you are Either way, buhbye" and his entirely predictable reply - "sorry Had I known you were such a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered personI would not have contacted you in the first placenot at all the type of Domme or person I want in my life Who wants to take the time to read all the gibberish anyway Thanks and buhbye to you, too"   Now, this is not at ALL even remotely uncommon. This is the Standard Operating Procedure for guys contacting women via the internet for the purpose of getting the attention they want. They bury us in compliments, make grand sweeping statements about their desire for a relationship, and when they don't get it, usually because of their own screwups, they immediately do a 180 and get verbally abusive. (Or if in person, physically abusive/violent/deadly.) And in this case, since it's a BDSM centered site, he stated he wanted a Domme "to take total control of me mind body and soul." But apparently that did not extend to actually asking him to DO anything. Even if it makes him better able to get what he wants.   When I asked him back in December if he had read any of the books I recommended to him, based on his complete lack of submissive experience and his stated desire to get some, he replied "Quite honestlyI have not But if You feel You are truly interested in me, I will gladly do so as I know that would make me better prepared to be the best I can be for you should it come to that And that would be my entire focus"   Do you see the problem? A total stranger on the internet. We have exchanged a few emails. That's it. I have to profess my TRUE interest in him, without knowing him beyond what his shown so far in this extremely limited way. After he has already failed to do the most basic of things - - actually READ my profile, which has a couple things in it specifically to let me know if someone read it, right at the very tip top where it's easy to see - written a profile that actually reflects who is is, instead of one that he thinks will get him laid as a Dom - write an actual email to me instead of sending me the copy/pasted message he sends every Domme - write a message to me that doesn't lie about having read my profile and "seems like we want the very same thing" - stick around in a conversation HE had initiated - done the only thing I actually asked of him, which was to read a book I thought would help him with his search - be honest about not wanting to do this, like a fucking adult, instead of ghosting like a little bitch - keep track of who he contacts so he doesn't insult my intelligence with another copy/paste message that just tells me I'm not interesting enough for him to remember Yeah. I'm gonna be SO interested. In blocking him from contacting me again. But he feels I should give that, before he has to give ANYTHING. He should get payment up front, before he begins the work of becoming someone in who a Domme COULD be interested in. Because ... He wants it? And being female, I should want to hand it to him on a silver platter.   And the second that is pointed out to him - the first time I explain that no, he has screwed up, and screwed HIMSELF over with his own actions, and lack of actions, and lack of basic effort on his own behalf, more than once? I am "a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered person." Because that's how a "submissive" responds to correction from a Dominant Woman? Or it seems to be, based on how this goes, over and over and over. No recognition of personal responsibility for his mistakes, no apology for ghosting, no appreciation of being given a reply despite the obvious lack of effort, no self-awareness at all that might lead to him fixing his mistakes, changing his course, and possibly finding what he claims to want. Just the immediate knee-jerk flip to insults and abuse. But hey, at least he didn't call me old, fat and ugly. That's the usual guy response to getting rejected.   And again, this is standard stuff. This is the main kind of interaction women have on dating sites. This is the main kind of interaction Dommes have on BDSM sites. It may as well be the same exact person writing me these, over and over. As the song says - "Only the names will change." This is not submission. This is self-entitlement. This is toxic masculinity. This is a fragile male ego. And THIS is what is standing between you and the Domme you want to kneel to. THIS is what we see and expect when you write us before reading our profile, when you send us a generic email that could have been sent to someone else, when you don't fill out your profile, when you want us to be "interested" before having an actual conversation and letting us get to know you. I know it sees like work, but honestly, without it, you are asking for a handout, and we know that hand will probably turn into

Someone actually quite a challenge to WOW them about consent (not on cs).... I decided to write most of my response here, even though done of it is mentioned in my profile.   Wow you with consent... I love that challenge. So first things first, you can't have fun when anxiety and fear are the prevailing emotions.  Does that mean a person can't struggle against bonds or their patterned who is ignore than please of 'no' or begging for mercy and still find pleasure?  Sure they can, in the form of a safe word.  They can be simple as red, yellow, and green light... Red light being stop, yellow light, don't get any more intense... Or if the room is wiring about the intensity, can ask, sand if she say green light, she's good, keep going.   A bdsm relationship, whether it is in bed only, or 24/7 is still a 50-50 relationship.  Just because the sun lens the doom some of her fifty, doesn't mean she can't take some of all of it back at any time.  He wants to try anal, she doesn't, "I'm the Dom, so I can" is an EPIC of FAILURE of understanding basic [healthy] bdsm... Also might violate a law or two whether or not either of them know it.     Communication is also key.  Set aside time (such as a dinner) to discuss what they like it don't like.  Sometimes telling a person about what they didn't like right after or right before can kill the mood or self confidence... However during Sunday night dinner, a planned conversation, "her that thing when you turned me sides ways, don't do that for more than a minute at a time, but that thing you did when you held my head on the pillow... Don't ever not do that again..."   He laughs, "sure, when your are going down... Teeth are not sexy."     Moving on..   I actually love protocol training early in a relationship.  It's almost an if-then style relationship while learning each other's kinks: If you do this, I do that... Or if I do this, you do that.  For example, if she puts a collar on, he is not allowed to use her real name, just one of the pet names that agreed upon earlier, it could be cute like 'penny' because of the penguin on the T-shirt she wore the first time they met, or it could be something more aggressive such as 'slut,' if she agreed on that at first.  A system of controls to keep them both satisfied.          

When my ex and I were exploring BDSM and doing research, I was more attracted to the submissive role for myself. I encouraged her toward taking the Domme role, and I would be her submissive, but she wasn’t interested. I even created a website dedicated to FLR, but she wanted me to be her Dom. But, my core was really very submissive to women. Now that I am single, I am very interested in exploring my submissive side with an amazing Domme. If you would like to see the FLR website I created, it’s    http://amazingflr.byethost8.com

I’m funny, strong, sick and alone. I wear a sold-thick mask. Only i choose who will get to see my truth and when. Today and tonight are hard. I don’t like where I am or how I am. I feel desperate for dick for a, tongue even teeth. My neck is naked and breasts - nipples are tingling . Even fat there are places you can feel bones. My ass is high and wide easy to spread and enter. Go slow so we both feel you break through that first sphincter- oh so good, you’ll decide when to do that again. The feeling is pleasure but also demonstrates your power over me. Put me on my belly, lay me on my back, cl my hands and ride me like I’m a horse- hold me down whisper into my ear, bite my skin and enjoy me, long and hard, mmmm. By now my cunt has created a puddle of my juices. Lips are wide gapping open waiting to be entered, i moan as you hit my back wall and I clench as i cum and again. You hit my crevicx, oh my breath pushes out of me. I am cuming again and again. Vagina spasms over and over. I clench down and hold you. You look confused, i laugh and let you go. You turn me over and we kiss passionately you reach up and put a hand on my throat, a bit harder as i slip into subspace. You let go, my eyes are glassy and I smile slowly and quietly.  Mmm i pur. You turn me on my side, you insert a dildo into one hole and yourself into the other, fuck me until you cum - you stay a minute and the cum slides out of me as you do. We sleep facing and touching each other. What do you think?

I'm seeking local subs to have real-time play with. I get a lot of messages asking Me to make an exception and I don't find it that fun to sit around on a computer while you guys perform on cam. If there is a different type of online serving that interests you, feel free to message.  As for Local subs who are available to play....    I am seeking a locked sissy maid for domestic service. Located in the NW Ohio area. After being fully vetted I will expect you to travel to Me. Dressed (wear your own or I will ).  The domestic duties can be wild or mild it just depends on O/our relationship.    I also am seeking a foot slave. The feet of a Goddess deserve to be worshiped. The seriously stinky and fresh smell after I take off My shoes. Warm wet feet right in your face to be worshipped just doesn't really feel the same online. Although an only foot slave situation could interest Me what I really want is real time.  My creative mind wants more but these two types of subs are what I want the most these days.   

a throw back...then and now...how i talk about the spiritual dominant man and the slave woman referencing brooklyn baby in 2015 vs 2024. my writing and perspective growth   a bit not complete because the two service oriented and protection images i have shared back in 2015 cannot be added here due to the wonky layout of the site.   yes i've been writing about this for quite awhile on different platforms. i was going through my facebook where i first started writing this and trying to i don't know..gain some sort of dialogue, community, connection, recognition, semblance of back and forth over it back then and mostly stopping when i was met with silence and or resistance. nowadays i come to understand that my writings are more for me and while i'd love to find a community or people or to turn this into something more be ok if all that happens is it lands and holds a space on the sentience that is the internet! i wrote about my thoughts about brooklyn baby as the little girl and the daddy romantic power dynamic figure back in 2015.....somehow almost 10 years later i forgot about it.. and with my new lived spiritual, energetic, and cosmic awareness i recently wrote about it in 3-4 posts here. i asked my lovely chat assistant to compare and contrast...how do i approach the same lana del rey song  10 years ago vs now? what my writing style and my awareness used to be back then: "i was initially going to keep this on my fetlife side but after a request i am putting this on here too. dual post. talking about power dynamic stuffs, nothing sexually graphic but this is the okay with everything tag anyway so..ya know that'd be cool too .my vanilla friend on facebook posted a bunch of old 1950s ads which had of course a lot of natural male lead household media since that's how things were back then without options or visbilities of choice or other ways to live.   when i came across this one it made me a mix  of how cute, something i very much miss and one of those loss moments all into one.(first photo)this was the photo that stuck out the most to me. in both my  real life real time offline daddy/little girl relationships this was something that i frequently did and looked forward to doing on dates or as the first one when we eventually moved in together.it was comforting to have a routine to follow. to know what to expect was going to happen. it was safe and quieting for me to know that my man was safely allowing me to serve him in a way that was going to get rewarded, acknowledged, praised, and vauled for.it always goes back to this for me(second photo). added, i just found the full quote of where the second image takes its quote from..and it just fits what all of it was/what i wanted it to be/what i was hoping to get:"“I loved having a dad who was smarter than the New York Times, and I loved how my cheek could feel the hairs on his chest through his T-shirt, and how he always smelled like shaving, even at the end of the day. Being with him made my brain quiet. I didn't have to invent a thing.”― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"to find someone who makes me believe that they understand all of me and my crazy mentalness and the challeneges of my antisocial mom and all my brokenness and stays and commits to providing structure and care and rough brawns is just one of the biggest gifts in the world that could be given. and being able to care for them and thank them for the service and direction and guidance they provide is easy. is comforting and nice. with my first daddy parts of this translated into getting him his diet coke in the morning, picking out clothes for him, and getting his english muffin heated and buttered before he leaves for work. usually it invovled a kiss goodbye as well. i did this until he told me he no longer felt able or willing or wanting to be a daddy to me and he wanted us to be equals. after that i did it off and things just pretty much started to crumble after that...but while that was a standard for the 3 years we lived together i never felt obligated to...when i was sick he would do so. if i was late or off i would do what i could.  but i never felt obligated or had to or that it was out of my way to do so.with my last ex we never got to the point of living together. instead when i would go over to his house or i would rent hotels for us i would help him get dressed and i would usually buy him something to drink or some sort of item for breakfast. getting my daddy all set for his day was a big honor and fufilling feeling that i had. it was one of the top 5 things that felt right and complete for me.in return usually as with my first one he would help provide a chunk of the income to help take care of us and while i wanted to work full time i didn't find any full time work while we were togehter except the first few months of us being together. i would get tenderness and emotional care and consideration and gentle leading i never had. what i got in exchange just felt right.and in the further discussion of this and the ability of choice now my friend pointed out in regards to the times back then, 'wouldn't want to be frumpy' and thank goodness we don't have to be dressed up at all times.over the years i've changed and grown into being more femme with my outer apperance and playing with makeup. with my first daddy i didn't have that many clothes....but i did like dressing up for him. and with my last one of the things that just made all of my heart soar along with my little girl's heart and core was for him to take the time to commit to dressing me every day.this actually didn't work out because he started slacking and saying for me to just pick after he committed to it..one of the many signs...of course...but it went back to the safe contained space for mea safe contained space of my worthy man being able to take the time, energy, and effort to tell me how he'd like me to look like for the day.  the addition of no surprises and routine and knowing at all times i am to his pleasing. it was an intimate thing to be taken in and looked at and appreciated and fawned over for being such an addorble femme being. and one that was held and cherished and well cared for and taken like a prized possession. at least the idea that this was happening was. none of it was deameaning or a bother. i always had energy to get dressed up or to do what i can to help out. these are some of the things i miss the most and grieve over losing forever.funny how small little things bring  up things like this.i'm not sure why..but this song brooklyn baby by lana del rey really  fits the mood i'm expressing here. especially the vocal sound of it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xcnjAG8pE" i got a really sweet comment from someone that i'll anonymous share. it was the only comment i got from it, but on facebook back then pretty shocking i would've gotten any at all with a concept that radical back then. "J - I'm speechless. That was an incredibly powerful and beautifully written post! Truly! Thank you for sharing it here. All I can think of to say is that you are a very fine human being...and whomever you spend time with, they are LUCKY and fortunate to have found YOU. You are such a smart, beautiful and gifted soul. It's an honor to be your friend, my dear! ❤

In the world are many denominations all claiming to possess the accurate knowledge of the truth. However this is divisions. In 1 Corinthians, Paul appealed to us that we have no divisions amongst ourselves and instead that we all be perfectly united in mind and thought. One of you say, "I follow this" and another says "I follow that" and still another "I follow such and such". Is Christ divided? Yet I say to you, revelations has something against each church. I tell you when Christ unveils his church there will be many upheavals and sudden changes. The real church is nurturing, a good guardian like a parent teaching it's child right and wrong. Allowing for the true knowledge of what truly matters to God the Father and Jesus Christ. Allowing individuals to grow in grace and become one in Christ's image. Jesus said if you love him you would observe his commandments. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 

My view on online dating sites: They work great when seen as a way to make a connection with someone you wouldn't otherwise meet as long as you then quickly move the introduction into real time and real life dating. Otherwise, it's a waste of time for me. That's why I won't chat with you or entertain any "possibilities" if you live more than 100 miles away from me. If you're spending all of your free time interacting online, then you're only going to cotinue facilitating your online relationships. And that is definitely NOT what I personally am looking for. I'm only interested in meeting people fact-to-face and spending time together person-to-person. I currently host a singles gathering in Fort Myers, FL for just this purpose. Because I understand that if I want to interact more with people in person I have to actually meet up with people in person. We meet on the 3rd Friday of the month. Message me if you want more info about the location. It's a great group, and a good way to connect with others. So I just want to make it clear that if you send me a message expressing interest, I'm going to want to pin down an actual meet in Fort Myers within a week or so of our first conversation or I'm going to completely lose interest. It is what it is.

My Daddy is gone After 2 years my Daddy has finally left 😔. I'm utterly devestated because he has been my everything and I feel so lost and empty without him. I know I can't be mad at him because I'm such a difficult person to be with and be around. I couldn't trust him with all my being no matter how hard I tried. I failed us both because I just couldn't get better and improve my life and just be happy. I really hope that he finds someone better because he deserves it. He had so much patience and did his best to understand me but I just couldn't deal with all my trauma and pain and it kept getting worse and worse. I know he had to leave to save himself and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop the men that I end up loving from leaving so maybe I just need to accept that I should be alone, so noone else gets hurt. It's the same reason that I haven't had children, I don't trust myself to not hurt them emotionally.

As I mentioned before I quite enjoy submission..  At times I really enjoy some of the profiles here as I see  submission beyong my expectations..  The possibilities are endless. Mind you it does not mean  its a green light to do anything that my mind could think of.. It means  that there is a journey for both to   take and to  learn from it together.   And why learn? Because it's different with each  sub or dom, reactions, feelings expectations, likes and dislikes.. Protocols and rules are part of my thing...  It brings a spark to my eyes...  " I have you, and you are mine"  Because you  choose to submit and I choose to dominate  the perfect connection can be formed.  Its not because you decide I am worthy of your submission.. Rather because we both decide to commit through submission and domination, that both decide that the person in front is worth our time, effort and dedication...   Love dedication and focus..  More to come..   

Just your casual reminder that I am super hot, incredibly sensual, and highly addictive.  I am always eager for new toys in this forum.  The diversity of interests and minds and kinks and perversions never ceases to fascinate Me. The opportunity to nurture and guide and definitely control a willing soul is a treasure. If you are gender queer, broadly defined, and want to experience the gift of amusing Me, don't be shy.  Reach out.  I will take it from there and quickly have you addicted and wanting more.

Damn it. What is the magic elixir of who can Dominate me? Whether or not it's mental or sexual, it's like a freaking black hole for me! I think some of it must be a drop of humilation, control, power exchange (but it's much more then that, cause if a Dom tried that on me and it's not a good fit, I'll just laugh) as much as I resist that thought, it's apparent to me these days that some part of being out on a limb mentally, so to speak, is very exciting to me, and if done right, gets me very wet very quickly, and into a deep sexual submissive space. But really, it's not about orders, calling me certain names, it's about the mental game! But what *exactly* is that? Power, control, authority, desire, masculinity.  I would love to have a smart and savvy Dom talk to me about this!  Recently I meet a Dominant on here that, in all honesty, had me at a hot panty drop within a week! I mean, seriously, he unleashed my libido. It was HOTTTT. It was sexy! Why was he so different?  And he wasn't the first; I've met many Doms that could get me to undress with a look, I so craved their attention and needed their desire. But that was it. It was so obvious that other than sex we had virtually nothnig to talk about, no realy mutual connection of any intellect, no lead up, aftercare. So frustrating! So I fucked and masturbated like a frenetic sex doll for as long as it lasted, crying into my pillow for a Dom that would also engage me mentally on a subject other than his hard cock. I mean that's wonderful, great, but I need more. I want to travel, to deeply engage and talk, to explore the bigger life, to get out and make fantastic adventures, make a home.  Can I have both? Is it possible to find both? Can we find both?  I'm trying so hard to share and give the keys to this kitten to someone worthy! I'm tired of the dichotomy. Fuck my brain, my heart, my pussy. I know you're out there! 

Oh friends. What I'm about to describe may change our relationship, but it 100% happened just now and I'm not sharing this story with anyone else.  My puppy woke me a short time ago to go outside. Glancing at the clock and seeing it was 4:30, I didn't do any of the things I would normally do before taking her outside. Her waking me means we need to go now. Yes ma'am, let's go. We get outside and she decides that dandelions are interesting and this patch of grass tastes divine, and so on, as she does sometimes leading up to her business. She has a flare for the dramatic, like her momma. Meanwhile, I've had to pee since the moment she woke me. All the way down what felt like ten thousand stairs, through every moment of her moseying outside, I. Have. To. Pee. And I'm not going to make it back to the house.  Chances are if you're reading this you are genetically male (is that the correct term?) and so you would just pull up a patch of grass and unzip. Not having that luxury I faced my two options. Either I could wet my pants, or I could squat and tinkle. Friends, I really tried to use all of those downstairs muscles to make it back to the house. Truly I did. But it wasn't going to happen and I did laundry earlier today. So I did the unthinkable. I moved to a spot less lit. I slid my pajama pants down a bit. I squatted. And I peed. I'm sure someone's door camera caught it, or maybe someone out for a walk. Hopefully it was just me and my puppy. And now you. It's our secret, okay? 

A Soldier Transformed: In the shadowed depths, a fear resides, Of losing control to the darkness inside. Memories of battles, cold and stark, Of a soldier's heart, hardened and dark.   The echoes of war, they still remain, Haunting thoughts that cause you pain. Afraid to slip back into that abyss, To lose your grip, to once again dismiss.   But remember, dear soul, you've come so far, You've journeyed through the wounds and scars. Strength now lies in the light you hold, A beacon of hope, a story untold.   Embrace the fears, let them fade away, For in the present, a new path may sway. Your heart can thaw, your spirit mend, No longer a soldier, but a soul to tend.   So fear not the darkness, embrace the light, For within you burns a flame so bright. You're not just a soldier, you're a man reborn, With a heart that beats, not hardened or worn.

SO,YES.I AM TOO MUCH. YOU ARE HERE TO CATER TO MY DESIRES.NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND,ACCEPT IT OR MOVE ON.JUST LET ME KNOW.

What I want...(I did not write this but it rings true for me).  I want flowers. I want to whip you. I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes. I want respect and awe and understanding and love. I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs. I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait. I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly. I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses. I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me. I want affection and cuddling. I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk. I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart. I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you. I want humor and debate and dialog. I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back. I want to see you crawl – just for me. I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come. I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you. I want.... You.                                                                                              

this came to me last night as they do....the multi level.   first level is the lyrics: "Touch, touch I remember touch Touch, touch I remember touch Where do I belong? Touch, I need something more I remember touch I need something more in my mind Touch, I remember touch Pictures came with touch A painter in my mind Tell me what you see A tourist in a dream A visitor, it seems A half-forgotten song Where do I belong? Tell me what you see I need something more Kiss, suddenly alive Happiness arrive Hunger like a storm How do I begin? A room within a room A door behind a door Touch, where do you lead? I need something more Tell me what you see I need something more Home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer, you're You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer, you're Touch, sweet touch You've given me too much to feel Sweet touch You've almost convinced me I'm real I need something more I need something more"   love of a 5d radical detachment spiderweb synchronistic beyond the physical vibe ting.   then we go to the actual song for the layer, pauls intonation and the cloudy vibes emphasize...   TO---UU-CCHHH.   TOUCH!   A YEEEEEEEE   re MEM bah TOUCH!   the key is in how he says it...you could simply speak, touch. i. re.mem.ber. touch. but he choses how to speak it in a way that carries a deeper message.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Gkhol2Q1og&pp=ygUPdG91Y2ggZGFmdCBwdW5r     4 years ago this fellow probably scriber made this video. amalgamizing from the person's text video from another daft punk  that i actually either didn't see or didn't remember that synched perfectly to it.   i want to emphasize in my 20s i took the blowing up to mean literal but now at 37 forward i see it as radical detachment..the key isn't ejecting it's removing what seems so familiar and deeply you to ascend to another playing level of life. it feels like it's exploding but it actually is simply elevating.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP1w5M0F57U   i'll always be salty that daft punk stopped sharing the message and the lessons...but we all know when it's time to let it go and be the merlin like in the 1998 movie that only tells stories. i'm just salty they are simply telling stories and not in it anymore. but whatever i'll get over it. they'll always be grandfathers, masters, ascendedness in more ways than one. and well at least they are still around there's that.   side note on the message if you are on my frequency and you've seen this movie/tv special you are probablllllllllly like me that queen mab was the end beginning and everything and her son mordred is the best boy hottie husband/boyfriend/romantic attraction if men are your deal. if he an arthur we don't want em. funny thing is, with all this esoteric work i've done i've cracked a code that some men that carry the archangel michael energy in their souls tend to have either slightly or obsessively horrible connections with their moms and how it is their personal life lesson to balance their nurturing protective nature in the reflection on earth with their parental upbringing. and wellll mordred babe DEF reflaspects that.   at least for me the key is to be queen mab, bellatrix, galaxia from sailor moon etc. but NOT kill people this time...wield the same thing but be cutting and cunning..but don't go full in. the balance is the lesson this time around.

playing without permission She lays there naked covered up with just a sheet right hand inching to her soaked pussy finger finds it way to her throbbing swollen clit legs spread she gently rubs it she lets out a low slow moan her left hand gripping the bed she speads up rubbing the throbbing swollen clit her moans gets louder shes playing with no permission she feels naughty thinking and day dreaming of his hand around her throat squeezing and releasing as he speaks am i understood she doesnt dare to make eye contact the day dream is going so well she cums without thinking she moans louder and no one can hear her

On Self-Mastery Before Mastery Over Others A Master who seeks to command another must first command himself. Authority without discipline is nothing but noise—loud, fleeting, and without weight. True mastery begins within: the mind must be sharpened, the emotions steadied, and the will made unshakable. Only then can the Master stand above his slave with confidence and clarity. A Master who has not mastered himself becomes ruled by impulse. Anger dictates his words, jealousy clouds his vision, and fear drives his actions. Such a man cannot lead, for he is a servant to his own weakness. A slave will sense this instability, and with it, respect will erode. Without respect, obedience becomes hollow, and the dynamic crumbles. To achieve self-mastery, the Master must practice three disciplines: Discipline of the Mind – The Master must think clearly, without being swayed by fear, envy, or pride. Reflection, study, and intentional learning strengthen the intellect and refine judgment. Discipline of the Body – The Master must hold himself with presence and authority. Care of health, posture, and bearing are not vanity—they are symbols of control and power that the slave must see and feel. Discipline of the Spirit – The Master must know his own values, beliefs, and purpose. He must act from principle, not reaction, and embody consistency in every command. When the Master governs himself, his commands are unquestionable. His slave will feel the certainty of his hand, the steadiness of his rule, and the clarity of his authority. Self-mastery is the root of all mastery; without it, the title of Master is an empty shell.   Let it be remembered: before a Master can claim ownership of another, he must first prove ownership of himself.

Fall and Winter 2021 update. Lisa's desires for younger/youthful gurls: "If you are a younger Domme Gurl; whom would like an older sub/slave woman, and you would like to take that extra Control over her. Your using and humiliating her lifestyle to your pleasure; then please read on further. And, what could be more humiliating for an older woman when she kneels incestuously before someone young enough to be her daughter or granddaughter?" A lovely lady lesbian, lecherous, lascivious, seeking similar, saucy, sexy, sophisticated, stylish, social, slender, smooth, similar senioress sisters. update information........Lisa and Brenda now live here together as two wonderful lovingly respectful, honestly honorable ladies from another gender. We so enjoy the compatibility of each other, our integrity, character, honesty, candor with each other---appreciation it is, totally. The feeling of being subjugated to another in all aspects of my daily life--- is an unfilled dream of so many of us gurls. Lisa is now finally retired, and she would lose total Control if someone was "in charge" of her breasts constantly, for they are the most sensitive part of her whole body !!! Sex, is rapidly moving to the back burner so to speak---due to these advancing years!

I need to update my profile here, long overdue. My profile that is currently posted, is one that was written when I first join CS. Since then, through the years of properly being mentored, learning, and maturing in the lifestyle, my outlook and perspective on the lifestyle has changed greatly. Over the years, I have learned that the lifestyle has much more to offer than just kinky, hurtful play and sex. People who have that mentality, do not really take time to appreciate and cherish the finer aspaspects of having a submissive or slave that puts herself out there just to please others. Although my current profile states what I'm looking for, doesn't really mean that I have the improper attitude. My attitude has greatly changed, and if you take the time to learn more about me or others that inquire into your profile, you might find a hidden jewel in this rubbish heap on this site. I, as a Master, is not into this lifestyle for the kinky sex, but for it to greatly enhance the relationship, to make it strong, safe, to enhance growth in each other, make each other grow and be fulfilled. Most importantly, I desire and will make my submissive or slave feel appreciated and cherished in everything she does, and to give her that balance of the vanilla and lifestyle is important. There are other aspaspects that go along with the relationship that are just as important as well. This might give the impression that I'm not a strict Master or Dominate, for I can be strict, but fair, and generous as well. I'm a laid back easy type of guy, but I'm observant and knows whats going on. I'm not a pushover by any means. Whatever you do, don't judge a book by its cover.... you might lose out on a jewel!

Rush I could feel the blood coursing through my veins. My skin was flushed and I could feel my heart beat with excitement. I cast my gaze downward, taking in the full length of the beauty who had submitted to me. Sweat glistend from her soft skin. Her arms and legs stretched to their full extent. Her eyes pleading. Her mouth clentched on the gag which stifled her words, but did little to muffle her moans. It was her idea. She wanted to have her limits pushed. Pushed beyond her previous play. I was riding her edge in so many ways. Keeping her on the brink. Permission withheld. Applying pleasure, and pain according to her liking, but never enough. She could flirt with her orgasm, but I held her back. Torture, but not from pain. Torture from the pleasure without release. I abandoned her to her need. That look on her face. Pleading with her eyes and body. I wanted a break. Taking my time. Poured myself a tall ice water to cool off. I walked back the ice clinking in my glass. The bed complained as I settle next to her. She did not. I was greeted with an expectant look. A smirk even. She was ready for the next chaper. She knew that the story had not run its course. I admired the marks that I left on her body. Hand prints and crop marks set upon a pink background from a generous amount of flogging. I plucked an ice cube from my glass. Gentlly traced my marks with the ice, leaving a trail of water and a slight shiver from my submissive. My tracing spiraled around her breasts encouraging her nipples to their full extent. I teased her belly button then towards her clit. I alternated between a vibrator and the ice until it melted. I retrieved the remaining ice from my glass. Traced her inner thigh. I rub the entrance before slipping the ice inside. I could see the discomfort, as I relished my control. Inserted another piece for good measure. I could feel the blood flowing to my cock. Engorged and ready. I rubbed the head against her, before sliding inside. I savored the cold created by her internal ice bath. It was time to get started...

a fresh bdsm test for you: == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Exhibitionist  100% Submissive  100% Girl  91% Degradee  88% Experimentalist  84% Ageplayer  84% Rope bunny  82% Primal (Prey)  80% Slave  69% Brat  65% Masochist  58% Voyeur  42% Vanilla  37% Pet  36% Non-monogamist  0% Switch  http://bdsmtest.org/r/PyvQrePt

Journals are here again..Over the years I've seen quite a few profiles saying "I have a crazy work schedule" (or "hectic", or "super busy" etc) which brings up the question: Out of 100 people making such statements, how many get out of that situation? Short term it may be justified or even needed; long term, it's not the best situation for one's physical or mental or psychological health let alone allowing the space for new relationships to be deep and meaningful.  If out of 100 only 1 or 2 succeeded in changing that life circumstance but 90 or 50 at least tried, that would be more encouraging than few even trying..really trying..and seems that people are so busy trying to survive, or with distractions to numb pain, that we rarely even try, let alone succeed. The key is to make the effort and mental committment. And chip away at it. So even if it takes 6 months or 2 years or 5 years,..you chip away at it, work towards the goal, step by step.  It could be saving money, it could be improving one's skills, getting a certificate. It could be spending just 15 minutes online searching, times 2 days a week or on weekends...The key is to be consistent. Imagine one person jogs 100 feet forward, then stops. The other person moves forward just 3 inches...but does that each day, or even each week, every week, for enough weeks and months..they will reach the finish line.  Same with other goals (like losing weight, though that one requires both the consistency and also a lot of challenging but worthwhile work on one's mental and emotional inner worlds and finding what neeeds we use food to substitute for and healing ourselves in other ways...on top of the stick-to-it consistent commitment ect of doing a little bit to move forward every week and ideally every day or few days) Same with finances, though that's a more obvious analogy to changes in one's job/career.  What have you done to move forward "a few inches" today, this weekend, or next week? It's not about being 'tough' with ourselves, more like the opposite, and being caring towards ourselves..that and a word I see is actually in an online dictionary: "Stick-to-itiveness" You can do it! :-)

Just my philosophy   My husband is belittled kept in his place for his own good and my own pleasure. He or is a ward, a pupil, an infant, a sissy, a doll, a puppet, a pet, a toy, a plaything for a moment or a lifetime, as I so wish. He is a vulnerable yet potent creation of mine. I control and nurture him, as is my prerogative. My husband is enticed and regressed by me and transformed into a helpless and vulnerable state in my hands. My husband is physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually dominated by me. He is immobilized and incapacitated, disciplined and humiliated by me. He is made to submit to my will, my whim and my desire. My husband is stripped of his adult status and is laid bare by my natural seductive power and control. I utilize my manly wiles and charms to emasculate and disempower him for my benefit. His freedom of choice and movement is taken from him and he must do as told or suffer my displeasure. When I so desire, my husband is kept as a plaything in restraint, chastity, diapers and confinement. My husband has lost control of his most basic of functions of movement, feeding, toileting and sex. He is disciplined and punished when needed. Mocked, teased and cooed over, diapered at all times, displayed as a novelty, treated as a human toy for my entertainment when I'm in the mood. He is ashamed yet aroused at this humiliation and cruelty that he cannot stop. His inherent weakness is their sexual desire for seduction by his dominant and this is something I have perfected using against him. On the occassions I allow him out of his chastity device, his erect cock is the explicit manifestation of his desire that he cannot hide. I control his pleasure and pain, release and restraint, as I see fit. My husband has been made dependent on me for most everything. I do so love to tantalize and torment my playthings. I am very creative and cruel with my toys. My dominant friends...Capture their mind, restrain their body, pacify their spirit, control their desire, discipline their behavior, manipulate their sex, gag their cries, force-feed their hunger, confine their genitals.

  This is, I think, my first Journal Entry. I have written responses to several profiles posted by women on this site.  I have never included a "laundry list of activities", but rather simply presented myself as a submissive male in search of LTR with a lady who desires to take the lead in a relationship. I have had little luck with this approach, having actually met 2 women, one of which judged me too old (76 then) and still under 80 now.  I have read many profiles posted by dominant women here, not a few of which express frustration about subs "who want to top from the bottom" and a like number who seem to not like for sub men to say what they  want in the way of activities.  At the same time some women have an exhaustive "laundry list" of actiities in which they are interested, Recently, I responded to such a profile and before doing so, I printed a 3 or 4 page laundry list of activites from the lady's laundry list.  I responded by giving information about my knowledge, inteest, experience, like or dislike, or opinion of each item on the list.  Because CS system doesnt seem to like really long responses to profiles, I broke it down in 4 or 5 diffeent messages.  To my surprise, the lady read them all, whch is the opposite of my experience with most of my other responses.  She sent me a not telling me she liked the  detailed responses to her laundry list, even thanked me for it.  Of coursel I was rejected, but it was better than beilng ignored. So, tell me please, ladies, do you really want such detailed responses to you profiles on the first contact?  Or, is the problem more about being between 76 and 80, is just too old to begin with?? with respect, dachastesub

one word: DEVISTATED! my recent Echocardiogram came back worse than expected I went down the slope as opposed to climbing... I'm wrecked and not happy about it, understandably... It's almost back to where it was when the condition was caught and I was hospitalized... so NOT GOOD !!! it feels like all the work I have done has been for nothing and I feel defeated... having a terminal condition sucks... Some good news though, looks like my record shop will be a reality sooner than later, I got all my LLC etc filed and done so, look at me trying this adulting thing! lol This I am excited about!

I have an exercise I've used on people over the years.  Its funny my biggest success story with this was a subs guy who really wasn't sub.  This got him in touch with himself.  And it turns out he was Dominant. Lesson 2 This can be a little tough to maintain.  Remember if this was real life breaking position would get you disciplined.   This position is commonly called Nadu.   Now for the 15 minutes I want you to look at the girl in the mirror.  Notice how she sits, how she squirms as you look at her.  How she Flushes under your gaze. And then think about how you feel in position as ordered, how you feel to be gazed upon, how you look. When the timer expires organize your thoughts and then put it down in a 750 word essay.  Really think as you write and be honest to yourself.    When your done I would have you send it to me so we can discuss how you see yourself vs how i see you. But your not mine so put this in a safe place you'll be reading it later.

Who says BDSM is not theraputic... I found this interesting: Russian scientists from the city of Novosibirsk, Siberia, presented a sensational report at the international conference devoted to new methods of treatment and rehabilitation in narcology. The report was called “Methods of painful impact to treat addictive behavior.” Siberian scientists believe that addiction to alcohol and narcotics, as well as depression, suicidal thoughts and psychosomatic diseases occur when an individual loses his or her interest in life. The absence of the will to live is caused with decreasing production of endorphins - the substance which is known as the hormone of happiness. If a depressed individual receives a physical punishment, hard spankin, whipping, flogging, etc... , it will activate endorphin receptors, activate the “production of happiness”, and eventually relieve feelings of depression. Russian scientists recommended the following course of the therapy: 30 sessions of 60 whips on the buttocks. A group of drug addicts volunteered to test the new method of treatment. The results can be described as good to excellent. Doctor of Biological Sciences, Sergei Speransky, is a very well known figure in Novosibirsk. The doctor became one of the authors of the shocking "whipping" therapy. The professor used the self-flagellation method to cure his own depression. He also recovered from two heart attacks with the help of physical tortures too.

 quirkylittle4daddy