nightsweets

i believe easily, care even more easily. i am transparent. (hopefully you, too.) for having been around, seen and done and been much, i remain stubbornly naive, and oddly inexperienced in many ways. and it has been long enough since my last Ds/Ms relationship that i am a born again newbie ;) i'm generally a happy person, lots to be grateful for, easily experience awe, and am forward looking. i love music, laugh easily, am optimistic, passionate, inquisitive, and try to stay engaged in the stuff of life. while fully a strong and capable adult and life partner, i also fully need the dominant authority figure for the happiest fit.

yes, there is baggage. and various challenges. among them, two injured knees that now require i lose a LOT of weight for the best future. somehow i am resistant to running off to a dom with a big cage for a year, so nutrition and exercise are my necessary focus. and, when there is less of me, there's a bucket list it would be nice to start (feeling the Torschlusspanik).

i know that age appropriate doms will have their own baggage, and various others of the biological gifts of a long life. i don't expect or offer perfection. but, please be generally happy, responsible, capable and needful of the leadership role in the relationship, equally committed to your sub/slave's happiness and fulfillment as she is to yours, honor your word and promises, have integrity, humor, and reasonable limits. Be passionate, kinky, and creative! i'm hopelessly sapiosexual, so there's that. and if you love music .. even better.

if you search nightsweets, you will see me by same name on Fet, consistent profile content and personality. i yam who i yam ;)

friends are welcome, but i am here specifically looking for a real life in-person power exchange based lover, life partner, replete with whatever compatible bdsm we can manage as we are now, and into a shared future, D/s, M/s, to doddering old(er) age ;) if and when that path really begins, i won't be here anymore. so if you see me here, don't ask - the search is not going so very well (yet).

again, if you are married or in any other form of committed relationship - you will be able to fool me for awhile. please choose not to. if you need a bi or poly gal or suger-sub, it is not me. if you are not in the vicinity of my age, i'm not a good fit. if you need someone to damage, emotionally or physically, i'm pre-damaged - pass me by. lastly, if you are not near me, i'm ok having a few emails and conversations, but will need to meet fairly quickly (lesson learned) to make sure there's a there there. i am willing to relocate - home is where the heart is.

while i am self sufficient and ok on my own in life, i very much miss every aspect of a shared life grounded in the power exchange, seamlessly blended with real life. if you do, too, and you think there might be something to explore between us, i'd love to hear from you.

and yes, i almost always use too many words - but under the appropriate guidance, or gag, i can be quieted ;)

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Pausing meeting anyone for a bit.  If I am on, happy to exchange a few emails.

This morning, about 4am, on a long and dark and empty stretch of southbound I95, going about 70mph, I hit a large raccoon.  Despite my being in the center lane, mindfully watching the sides of the roads for anything moving or eyes reflecting, there he just was.  There was no time to swerve, then a sickening impact that I suspect I will replay over and over.  Then there was a lot more noise I at first thought was pieces of him going through my wheel well.  

I was still 90+ minutes from home and there were no other cars around and I decided to keep going and see if I could get home before the tire went flat.  I've never hit an animal before, feels awful.  

I did make it home by which time lots of noises were coming from the passenger front of my car, took pics, and was shocked to see the extent of the damage to the bumper, all the front lights under the headlight, gone, lost the lining of the wheel well somewhere along the way, etc.  Checked in earlier this morning and there's a puddle of something under my car.  

I am no kidding thankful for insurance which is going to help with all of this.  Miserable about the raccoon.  Miserable about the extent of damage.  

But, what I realized was how such an incident emphasizes the joy of being owned, or at least in a solid D/s relationship.  There was nobody to call at 4am, or at 6am, no shoulder, nobody to help take the shakes off and get the nervous energy out, nobody to say it is OK, that I would be OK.  There wasn't someone who might have a clue what the puddle was, and a better idea than I about if it was driveable.  There were no feet tangled with mine in the wee hours, the comfort of His touch.  There was no guidance navigating for the first time with an insurance company, getting a ride to the rental car place, dealing with getting the rental, etc.  All scary, solo.

There's always so much emphasis on what the sub/slave gives, but this morning was an example of what she gets when "normal" life intervenes and he is there to take charge in addition to being comforter-in-chief.

Please pass me by if monogamy is not your thing. 

If you are married or otherwise involved with someone, you would be wasting your time.  You may fool me for awhile, but ultimately you will just cause pain to me, possibly to yourself and whoever else you may be involved with and cheating on.