him on 8/17/25 at 10:54 AM: Would you talk to older, retired submissive, man?   him  on 10/10/25 at 2:03 PM: I would love to be captured by you, trained as a slave, and sold into the slave market to a forceful dominant couple   Me on 10/10/25 at 2:07 PM: Thats nice. Id love to have applicants for my submission that were actually writing ME, the human, based on their reading my profile and writings and figuring out our potential c ompatibilities rather than randos who copy and paste messages to every pretty picture.   him on 10/10/25 at 2:09 PM: Im sorry maam, but that was direct nothing was copy and pasted. It was just one of my many fantasies to give up control, but that was an actual message not copy and paste.   him on 10/11/25 at 9:01 AM: You are very pretty and very powerful   him on 10/11/25 at 2:39 PM: God, you are beautiful   Me on 10/11/25 at 2:40 PM: Do I strike you as someone who is susceptible to flattery?   him on 10/11/25 at 2:44 PM: I only know that you are very attractive to submissive men   him on 10/11/25 at 2:51 PM: I sincerely apologize if I insulted you him on 2/6/26 at 10:43 AM: Would you be interested in dominating a older, white submissive, male wishing to be trained anyway, that you wish and to be your servant to be used abused, and even loaned out if that’s what you wish   Me on 2/6/26 at 1:28 PM: Here's the problem. You are so focused on what you want, that you have yet to bother to consider what *I* want. You have now written me EIGHT times, yet literally failed to the one one single thing I asked in the first fucking line of my fucking profile, even after I EXPLICITLY stated that's something I require. You know - the thing that tells you who I am, beyond just the "pretty" and "beautiful" picture you seem to obsessed with. You want to be "trained" and "dominated" but you have already shown yourself to be lazy, self-absorbed, and utterly unsuitable for anything I might want to use you for.  

My dom gave me a list of topics to talk about.  So here goes... Random stuff you may or may not find interesting about me:   - When asked to classify myself, I'd describe myself as a nudist who is a bit kinky.  My parents were both nudists and I grew up in a household were clothing was optional.  Around the house, being naked is no big deal...  So for example, I am naked right now... - Several people have asked me here if I've been officially "collared".  I'm going to have to say that I haven't officially been collared.  However I'm not 100% percent sure I know what exactly is involved in that.  I do have a dog collar which I wear when my dom requests it,  Since this collarspace afterall, he has requested that I wear it whenever I am here, so I am wearing it now...  My collar is a simple dog collar that we picked up one day at PetsMart... - Am I a "painslut"? No, I am not a painslut.  In no way do I like be beaten, whipped or punched...  I do like rough sex, but that generally involves being tied up, having my hair pulled, and being choked... - Am I a "gang bang slave". No, I am not.   That said, I have had fantasies about it (see my previous journal entries), but I am not interested in pursuing that.  That said, I have had sex with two guys at once.  But that was a long time ago... - Is my dom interested in sharing me with other men.  The answer to that is no.  However there is one exception.  There is a one couple that we've known for years that we feel safe with. On occasion we will swap partners with them.  - Why am I on collarspace?  I'm here because my dom wants me to be here.  That alone is reason enough enough.  He thinks it would be a good idea to have me interact with all kinds of people here.  My dom reads everything I write and everything that I recieve.  In particular, I think it amuses him to see how I interact with men who only view me as fuckmeat. So there you have it, todays journal entry from naked subMegan.  Hope everyone has a great Sunday and I look forward to reading your responses. subMeghan

I'm irritated by the idiocy of some of these "subs" I'll meet you at a Starbucks and if I don't invite you home immediately thereafter you'll pull a typical fake sub move and not follow up. Most don't have the patience and respect to meet properly. To get vetted properly. Most think anybody declaring themselves a "sub" should be privy to my home immediately. No thought towards common sense or my safety?? I get these offers 5 times a week. Imagine if I gave my home address out that many times a week? I'd be murdered in less than a month by some fake predator. Or at the very least robbed and when you report something like that to police and say "I met him online" Boy how stupid do you look? Perhaps these idiots think I'm in a palace surrounded by gaurds? How much online porn must you watch before you actually think there's any likelihood that any of us REAL ladies are surfing for boys from within a palace. THAT lady isn't on collarspace, she has a caretaker whose job it is to find sub's. Out here in the real world a REAL domme works her 9-5 and expects her sub to do the same. To be sane. To be intelligent and productive within society. To be a regular guy and a sexy "trophy husband".

    Thought for the day. It takes very little to make a person’s day. It also takes very little to destroy it.  Be kind unless its appropriate not to.  

What being a little/middle is for me For me it is not a choice. I am a natural little and middle because of things that both happened and didn't happen. I'm not a roleplay little I have involuntary age regression! I need to feel safe and be protected during these times. I also have little/middle traits during every day life and even more so when I feel something is wrong or I did something wrong. So the lifestyle allows me to be accepted as I am and can't help but be. I'm extremely inquisitive, at times super bouncy, needy, playful, well behaved, but I can also be ornery ( in a playful way) , I have some difficulty understanding things, I make mistakes in verbalizing what I mean or need at times, I need alot of reassurance especially in the beginning. Although I am a passenger princess, I have difficulty just asking for attention, I'm super into my person and lovey.

Mixed emotions today. Lastnight was the first real munch we have had since COVID where everyone in our bdsm community was present. Not a real BDSM play event as usualy. Mostly friends catching up, conversation and casual sex.I was laughing with Goddess Tabitha when Master William put his arm around me and started to fondel me. I got tense and Goddess reninded me to know my place. He took me to the couch and he used my body for his pleasure. I don't know what is troubling me most, the fact that another man used me without Master James looking on or the fact that I really enjpoyed him using me. My orgasm was shattering both physically and emotionally. Master James stroke took him from us months ago, but I still feel unfaithful even though he and Goddess Tabitha have always aloowed the men in our group to use me for their pleasure. Just when you think your heart has healed.....

    Public Service Announcement to the “I Want to Serve You, Goddess” Crew: Your Thumbs Are Not Submission  Let me make something crystal clear for the aspiring submissives, servants, and “I’m-ready-to-devote-my-life-to-you” hopefuls who beg for an opportunity to prove themselves who then crash and burn before the engine even starts. If I grant you permission to call me, and your response is to text me, congratulations: you’ve already failed. Let me repeat that slowly for the chronically dense:   Texting. Is. Not. Calling.   You begged to serve. You pleaded for a chance. You wrote paragraphs about how serious you are. I finally say, “Fine. Call me at this time,” and suddenly your phone.. The same phone you’ve been blowing up with 27 back-to-back messages now it mysteriously loses the ability to dial?  Miss me with that nonsense!   Submission Requires Execution, Not Excuses  You don’t impress me with walls of text explaining how loyal and devoted you’ll be. You impress me by following a single instruction without turning it into a personal struggle session.   If you cannot: Press one button to CALL Respect a time window Present yourself with clarity and intention  …then you are not seeking to serve. You’re seeking attention!  I don’t run a charity for grown toddlers!    Submission Is Action. Not Emojis. Not Daydreams. Not Typing Sprees.  You want to text-chat your way to greatness? Go find a Discord Mistress. Or a Telegram Dominant. I deal in real presence, not keyboard fantasies.  And to the ones who send non-stop text threads instead of doing what was asked... You’re not being persistent. You’re being annoying! Uncontrolled desire is not devotion. It’s desperation. And desperation without discipline? Instant disqualification.  The Standard Going Forward  If I say call, you:  1. Confirm.  2. Prepare.  3. Call.  There is no: “But I was nervous.” Nervous dogs still obey commands. “But I didn’t know what to say.” Then ask first, think second, but DO. NOT. TEXT. “But I’m better in writing.” Then you are better off elsewhere! You Want Access? Learn Precision! Servitude is not granted to those who talk the loudest. It is given to those who listen the best. If you can’t execute a basic directive, don’t request a role in my universe. I am not here to mother you, motivate you, or walk you through the concept of a phone call in 2025. Be clear. Be ready. Be real. Or be gone.  

He had been communicating for a while with an experienced Gay master and the day had finally come where they would meet in person.  They had agreed to meet in a public place at a little bar and café. If the meeting would go well they might be leaving together and he would be under his Masters control for the weekend. He had been provided with very specific instructions on the time to meet and what table to take. He had come in good time to make sure he could get the specific table his Master had instructed him to sit at. He wanted to make sure he left a good first impression.  He was in luck the table was vacant. It was in the remote/back side of the restaurant. He had been told to sit with his back facing the restaurant area looking at the wall which would allow his Master to approach him without him being able to see Master coming.  He was to order two specific bottled beer. He was not to touch the beers but patiently wait for his Master to arrive with both his hands on the table. Time went really slowly and he found himself constant looking at his watch.  He suddenly heard steps behind him. Was it the waitress or was it Master?  He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice behind him “Do not turn around “.  The hand massaged his shoulder end moved down his chest…. Gentle squeezing his nipples. The hand moved further down to his crotch. He was so hard.. “Heads and eyes down” He lowered his head and Master walked around and sat down at the table. He did not dear lifting his head.  He could see Master hand taking the beer and Master zipping off the beer while making a smiling sound. Finally he heard the voice “Okay you can lift you head” He excited lifted his head and there was Master in front of him.   They spent the next 20min talking and get to know each other while enjoying the beers.  It was a great continuation of the conversation they had had on email and chat and they both was in agreement to proceed the relationship to the next level. Master reached down in his backpack and took up a small carrying plastic bag.  “if you want to proceed you will go to the restroom and do what the note in this bag instructs you”.  He was super excited to continue and took the bag and hurried to the restroom. Inside the bag was a note that said.  “You are plug yourself with the plug in this bag.  Take off your underwear and place it into the bag and you are NOT to take a piss” The plug in the bag was luckily not that big as he was very tight in the rear and there was some lubricant.  He quickly slid the plug into place and removed his underwear. His cock was hard a steel and with no underwear it was scratching against the inside of his jeans. He went back to Master table and handed over the bag with his underwear. Master put on a smile..  “Now it is my turn, Please order me a new beer ONE only. ” Master excused himself and went out to the restroom.. He brought along his own beer bottle. He was quickly back and sat down.  “Well boy it is time you know who is boss” He handed his beer over.  The bottle was warm. OH my good he had refilled the bottle with his piss in the bathroom.  “Here is your new beer, now drink up” It was so humiliating. Sitting there in a public place drinking master’s hot piss out of a beer bottle.  He had tried drinking hot piss before but never this way.  Master was enjoying him selves with his new fresh beer. He finished the beer and would have loved to have had a glass of water to clear him mouth of the salty taste. “Good boy”. What do you say we get out of here….  They walked to Masters car. Master opened the passenger seat and he jumped in. He put on his seat belt and Master handed him a pair of sunglasses…  the sunglasses has the inside colored black and totally blocked his sight.  Master closed the door and jumped into the driver’s seat.  When inside the car Master unzipped his jeans and his hard cock immediately sprang out..  Master laughed, gave him a deep kiss and started the car. Another humiliating experience sitting there not knowing where they were going sitting there with his dick hanging out like a flag pole. Few minutes later they turned into Master driveway and into the garage and the automatic door closed behind them. Master went around to the passenger seat opened the door and guided him out of the car and sat him down on a chair in the garage.  “Get undressed, Quickly!” He quickly did as tol and soon was standing naked on the cold garage floor.  His hands was retrained behind his back with a pair of steel handcuffs and a ball gaga placed in his mouth.  Eyes down and follow me…  The next two days he would be under Masters control…

this is a follow up to the 4/3/2018  post People have said I am negative, yet I come here and I see all the negative profiles and wonder to myself, how on earth will these people find happiness, with this kind of attitude? I have gotten the oh I will be your slave if you pay my way to you... after a 5 minute conversation. I have heard about so many Dom's passing away, I feel like the term Dominant is cursed! I want to find someone who has a sense of humour, who doesn't mind taking their time getting to know each other and seeing what can happen. What would you rather have a store bought frozen and thaw cake, although good, it would never match a cake that was made just for you, because the one made for you has one special ingredient has that the other doesn't, and I do not mean mono sodium glutamate. I mean love Cheers And always remember to watch out for motorcycles when you are on the road

I feel the cold metal of my collar against my skin, a constant reminder of my new reality. I had signed the contract and now, I wait, could be now, or maybe never. The system decided who bought me, who owned me, but until that day, no taxes. I got to live tax free from the moment that collar locked, I was no longer a tax paying citizen. I was just merchandise on a shelf.The beep that echoes through the bookstore signals my salvation and damnation in the form of a large, commanding man. Baxter. He rushes toward me, his eyes filled with a primal hunger that sends a shiver down my spine. His hands roughly grab my arms, pulling me close as he examines me, his gaze intense and unyielding. I can't help but feel a sense of awe at the sheer size of him, the power that radiates off his body. "You're mine now," he growls, his voice deep and rough. His thumb brushes against the collar, a single drip of his blood and the control was engaged and I feel a jolt of electricity run through me at his touch. I'm his to command, his to use as he sees fit. He leads me out of the bookstore, his grip tight on my arm. People on the streets shaking their heads, another collared removed from the system, less government money wasted. I can't help but feel a sense of excitement as I follow him, my body tingling with anticipation. I've been waiting for this moment for so long, my training leading up to this very moment, to take the collar you have to serve years if service school, but no bills, no taxes, and after the rules all changed, I had no choice. As we enter his home, he turns to me, his eyes blazing with hunger. "Undress," he commands, his voice leaving no room for argument, the collar filling with heat. I comply, my hands shaking as I remove each piece of clothing, revealing my curves to his gaze. He watches me, his eyes taking in every inch of my body. "Kneel," he orders, and I obey, my heart pounding in my chest. He approaches me, his fingers tracing the outline of my collar. "You're mine now," he repeats, his voice softer this time. Then his hand clicks the l

prt 2 ... This was the first one on one interaction I'd had with
a female for over a month, and I'm ashamed to say that with
the smell of her perfume and her proximity to me, I was feeling
the tingles of an erection.
As we talked our legs occasionally touched each other,
and I was always the one to move. June told me that 23 was no
age and that a good looking young guy like me would have no
problem finding someone new. I tried to get off the subject
and asked about her. She was divorced from Emma's dad
for some 20 years now and never seemed to have any interest
in dating again. She smiled and put her hand on my knee and
squeezed and told me I was sweet. I must admit I blushed a
little. She seemed to take courage from my blushing and
moved her hand slightly up my leg and squeezed gently again
. Her smile was even broader as I began to squirm a little
trying to hide my growing erection. Her eyes held mine as
she slid her hand further up my thigh and her thumb brushed
the tip of my erection. She swirled her thumb around the
head making it twitch. I went to stand but her other hand
reached over and grabbed my knee firmly. I went to speak
but she seductively shushed me. Her thumb was joined by
the rest of her hand. I pushed upwards. June smiled and pulled her hand away. Leaving my cock twitching
in my jeans.
She asked me if I liked that, I dumbly nodded. She asked if I wanted more, again I nodded. Smiling, she leaned in and
kissed me gently on the lips, her tongue quickly darting
in and out of my mouth. She pulled away and told me to stand
up and strip as she wanted to see me naked. I was sexually
hypnotized, my little head was doing the thinking and the
rest of my body was just going along for the ride. I stood
in front of her, she smiled and leaned back on the sofa as
I took off my shirt. She leaned forward and undid my belt,
and pulled it from the hoops of my jeans, folded it and
laid it across her lap. I undid my jeans and let them drop
and stepped out of them. My hard as iron cock was trying its
best to escape its boxer short prison. I hesitated for a
second but her smile encouraged me and I slid them off as
well.
She reached over and cupped my hard balls and gently squeezed
, My cock throbbed and I almost exploded as she took the head
in her lips and sucked gently flicking it with her tongue. What happened next took me totally by surprise and I nearly
fell over. She wound the belt around my thighs and pulled
it tight. I found my footing and put my legs together and
she took the opportunity to pull it tighter till it was biting
into my thighs. She fastened it.
I must have had the dumbest of looks on my face as she stood
. Her hand reached down and stroked my cock and she kissed
me gently on the lips. She pulled away and smiled as I leaned
into her. As she walked around me, her warm hands stroking
my chest, gently pulling on the hairs. She kissed my shoulder
and neck. Biting ever so gently. She stroked my back, I felt
her nail lightly scratch. Her hand slid down and gave my
tight ass cheeks a squeeze. I was in a haze as she reached
into her bag. I became more confused as she pulled out a scarf
and tied tightly around my eyes. I heard a jingle then felt
cold steel being tightened around my wrist and then my arms
being pulled behind me and the other wrist was cuffed. I
felt her circle me. I winced as she pinched me and poked me
. She squeezed my balls hard and I almost doubled. Holding onto my shoulders, she gently pushed me. I shuffled the best
I could. She stopped and I figured we were in the middle of
the room.  

Looking to be inspired  A mediocre Dominant tells. A good Dominant teaches.  An excellent Dominant explains, but a true Dominant will inspire.

3 things you’ve done today: - SHOWERED TWICE. - PAINTED A CERTAIN PART OF THE KITCHEN FLOOR GLOSSY WHITE. - CUT GRASS OUT FRONT. 3 things you’ve purchased recently: - DORITOS. - CRANBERRY JUICE. - FOLGERS COFFEE. 3 things you’ve eaten today: - MAC & SHEESE. - BEANS. - BREAD. 3 movies you enjoy: - 'BEETLEJUICE'. - 'THE HUNGER'. - 'CAT PEOPLE'. 3 of your favorite bands: - DURAN DURAN. - SIOUXSIE & THE BANSHEES. - DEPECHE MODE. 3 songs you enjoy: - 'ENJOY THE SILENCE'. - 'ORNAMENTS OF GOLD'. - 'NEW MOON ON MONDAY'. 🎼🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶💜 3 things you wish for: - I WISH MY MOM NEVER PASSED-ON & SHE WAS STILL HERE WITH US. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - I REALLY WISH EVERY LAST UNCONSCIONABLE LOWLIFE REPUBLICAN IS VOTED THE FOCK OUT OF OFFICE SOON. 😑😑😑😑😑 - W EED. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 3 things you’re wearing: - BLACK BAGGY SHORTS. - A PAIR OF WHITE KNEE-HIGH COTTON SOCKS. - ANOTHER PAIR OF WHITE KNEE-HIGH COTTON SOCKS (I always wear 2 Pairs of Socks...for years...ha. Yup.). 3 things on your mind: - "I Love You Forever And Ever And Ever, Ma..." 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - "Oh, This Timelessly-Beautiful Goth DarkWave Rock Sure ALWAYS Makes Me Feel Like I'm Eternally 17...ha...yup." 🤘😎🤘 💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤 - "Ohhhhh...I Gotta Shower! So fucking Hot & Sticky right now!" 😆😆😆😆😆 3 of your favorite smells: - AFRICAN MUSK OIL.💚 - CK1 COLOGNE.🤍 - CITRUS AIR FRESHENER.🧡 3 words to describe how you feel now: - DAMN SLEEPY. - FRESHLY-SHOWERED. - UNEASY. 3 things you like about yourself: - FIT. - VEGETARIAN. - DANCER. 3 unpopular opinions you have: - THE WORLD HAS A *BAD* OVERPOPULATION PROBLEM, SO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE PARENTS SHOULD HAVE ONLY ONE CHILD FROM HEREON... - ...AND/OR GET SPAYED/NEUTERED.✂️ - AAAAALL THOSE DESPICABLE, GUILTY, VIOLENT, TRAITOROUS, TREASONOUS JANUARY 6th INSURRECTIONISTS NEED TO SUMMARILY BE TRIED & CONVICTED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. 🔨 3 things you enjoy doing: - SMOKING W EED🤩...THEN... - ...DAAAAANCING...HA. 🥰 - FILLING THESE SURVEYS OUT SOMETIMES. 3 of your favorite photos (or memories): - PHOTOS OF MOM. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - FAMILY PHOTOS OF YEARS AGO WHEN I WASN'T SO GODDAMNED CYNICAL, BITTER, & JADED, I GUESS. - I HAVE LOTS OF COSPLAY PHOTOS, HEH. 3 things in your room: - A 6' 6" WOODEN COFFIN. - A 5' WOODEN COFFIN. - A 6' WOODEN COFFIN (I'm A CoffinMaker...for yeeeeeeears. There's also A 6' 4" Coffin too.). 3 things that scare you: - FIRE. 🔥🤯🤯🤯 - DANGEROUSLY-IMMATURE (Anti-Vaccine/Anti-Mask) SELFISH PEOPLE. 😷💉 - DANGEROUSLY-STUPID TRUMP CULTISTS. 😑 3 things that you find attractive in a person: - SHE LOVES WEED. - SHE DISLIKES REPUBLICANS. - SHE CARES ABOUT FITNESS. 3 places you have traveled: - NO. - NOPE. - NUH-UH. 3 of your favorite flowers or plants: - ROSES. - LILIES. - WEED. 3 facts about your current life: - I JUST GOT 2 NEW TATTOOS A FEW DAYS AGO. - I'M VERY FUCKING ATTRACTED TO A YOUNG, SLIM, POLITE, SUPER-RESPECTFUL BLACK GIRL THAT WORKS AT THE STORE DOWN THE ROAD, HEH...I SENSE SHE ALSO FEELS THE SAME WAY...🤩😍🥰 - MY EX-GIRLFRIEND GOT REALLY FUCKING SICK WITH COVID, & SHE UNFORTUNATELY WENT THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF IT, BUT SHE EVENTUALLY RECOVERED, BLESSEDLY...BUT IT ALSO REALLY MESSED HER UP MENTALLY & EMOTIONALLY, & SHE LATER TOLD ME THAT SHE REALLY NEEDED TO BE ALONE. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 💔💔💔💔💔 😞😞😞😞😞 OKAY, THEN...ALRIGHT. I UNDERSTAND...I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR SPACE. I WON'T GIVE YOU A HARD TIME. I DON'T LIKE THIS, BUT I DO UNDERSTAND. I MISS YOU, I LOVE YOU, & I ALWAYS WILL...💜🖤💜🖤💜 🐢❤🐢 3 books you’ve read recently: - OOOOO...I *USED*... - ...TO READ BOOKS... - ...A *LOT!* 😆😆😆😆😆 3 things you are planning to do this summer: - UGH...WELL, I KEEP PUTTING-OFF SOME FLOORING I NEED TO GET DONE. HOPEFULLY SOON. I'M FAST. I'VE DONE LOTS OF FLOORING BEFORE. DIFFERENT KINDS. - MORE PAINTING. THESE 90-100 DEGREE DAYS ARE PERFECT FOR FAST DRYING TIMES. PAINTED FOR YEARS. I'M FAST & CLEAN. - UM, HOPEFULLY SOON GET A NEW PICK-UP FINALLY. NEED IT. IT'S A CRUCIALLY-VITAL TOOL, DAMMIT! 3 games you enjoy - any type: - "MORTAL KOMBAT' (even though I have actually Not Played VideoGames since ARMAGEDDON came out. I'm not a Gamer.) - 'YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!' - 'CATCH PHRASE' 3 facts about your appearance: - I CHANGE APPEARANCES A LOT; I GUESS ONE OF MY SPIRIT ANIMALS IS THE CHAMELEON, HA... - I JUST GOT 2 OLDER TRIBAL TATTOOS ON EITHER SIDE OF MY HEAD REDARKENED A FEW DAYS AGO. *NOW*: TIME TO LET THE HAIR REGROW OUT AGAIN...HAHA...😆😆😆😆😆 -MY NAILS ARE *ALWAYS* BLACKPOLISHED. https://youtu.be/cKxhNfdCc34

For those that simply ask " How are you ? " .  you don't have to ask .  I'll tell you here before you ask.  I'm doing ok.   If you simply write and just say Hi.  Then I'm here saying Hi back.   Why is that ? So I don't feel the need to small chat with someone. That is not my purpose of being on this site.  I AM NOT lonely and looking for a chat buddy.  Honestly I am not.  Now if your deeply into alternative medicine ,  an advid  gardner, a highly spiritual being then I might be intested in " chatting " with you.   But my guess is 99.99 % of people that read this is not into those things.   That being said I am looking for someone no matter what your age/looks/ education or lack of, is .  That doesn't not matter to me in the least. What matters is are you someone I would consider in owning in real time ?  If you think you are then write and let me know... in DETAIL.   It is an extreme blessing that I don't waste my time on time wasters. 

Voice Verification Unfortunately, there are many males here pretending to be females. So, before I invest more time with a 'female' at initial contact, I require at least a voice verification. In its next message to Me, either offer Me its phone number or request mine, slave. To elaborate a bit, I really do not care if My slave property is male or female. I do not care if the prospective "female" is actually a male that has made contact with Me. I understand how a slave could be so lost in its desire to feel the control of a Dominant that its imagination could take to the point of deception. To Me, that just means the prospective slave property is deeper in its need to serve than most. The best thing would be for any pretender to confess and seek atonement at the outset of the process of becoming My total slave property.

I crouch in the dim light, low to the ground, my muscles coiled with anticipation. My heart beats with the thrill of the chase, yet no footsteps follow, no predator’s growl answers my call. I’m a kitten playing in the shadows, batting at a love that slips through my claws. You, so distant, so untouchable, are the prey I’ll never catch—the storm I’ll never tame. The air is thick with the scent of longing. I arch my back, purring softly, an offering of submission, a plea for connection. But the silence stretches between us, sharp and cruel, like the edge of a blade grazing skin. I reach for you in my primal way, a growl in my throat, a playful swat, a desperate leap. You stand still, unyielding, unseeing. I ache for your touch, even if it stings. I crave the thrill of being hunted, the satisfaction of surrendering to you, the sharpness of your love cutting through me. Instead, I am left to prowl alone, circling a void that offers nothing in return. Every glance you give that doesn’t linger, every word spoken without weight, slices through me deeper than any knife. In my dreams, you are the hunter. You snarl, you chase, you pin me to the earth. Your teeth graze my neck, and I surrender willingly, body and soul. But reality is a different kind of pain, one that gnaws at me in quiet moments. You don’t see the way I tremble for you, the way I offer myself with every arch of my back, every purr in my throat, every unspoken word. The shadows are my companions now. I curl into them, licking wounds that refuse to heal. I am the kitten you’ll never chase, the prey you’ll never capture. Still, I remain here, waiting, aching, caught in this endless edge between desire and despair, loving you in the dark where you’ll never look

Blindfolds in BDSM Blindfolds are commonly used in BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) play as a means of sensory deprivation and enhancing the overall experience for both the dominant and submissive partners. Here are some key points to consider: 1. Sensory Deprivation: By covering the submissive partner's eyes with a blindfold, their sense of sight is temporarily taken away. This can intensify their other senses, such as touch, hearing, taste, and smell. With limited visual input, the submissive may become more attuned to the dominant's actions and sensations, heightening their overall experience. 2. Power Dynamics: Blindfolding can further emphasize the power dynamics within a BDSM scene. The submissive partner relinquishes control over their visual perception, enhancing their vulnerability and dependence on the dominant. This can intensify the feelings of trust, surrender, and anticipation. 3. Trust and Consent: As with any BDSM activity, trust and consent are paramount. Before incorporating blindfolds or any other element into a scene, all participants should have clear and explicit communication about their boundaries, desires, and limits. Trust should be established between partners to ensure that blindfolding is safe, comfortable, and consensual for everyone involved. 4. Safety Considerations: It is important to prioritize safety when using blindfolds. Make sure the blindfold is comfortable, does not cause undue pressure or discomfort, and allows for easy breathing. Choose blindfolds specifically designed for BDSM play, which are often made of soft, non-abrasive materials and have adjustable straps. Regularly check in with the blindfolded partner to ensure their well-being and address any concerns that may arise during the scene. 5. Communication and Check-Ins: Effective communication is crucial throughout a BDSM scene involving blindfolds. Non-verbal cues, such as a pre-determined safe gesture or a system of vocal signals, can help the blindfolded partner communicate their comfort level, boundaries, or the need to stop the scene altogether. Regular check-ins and aftercare are essential to ensure the well-being and emotional support of all participants.  Remember, the use of blindfolds or any other BDSM practices should always be consensual, negotiated, and performed within the bounds of safety, trust, and mutual respect. It's important to educate yourself, seek guidance from experienced individuals or communities, and prioritize the well-being of all involved parties.

Upon His Knees   He kneels upon the plush carpet, time etched in silver at his temples, A devoted servant to her throne of silk and shadow. Her hands, adorned with crimson, guide him gently down, To where her essence calls like honeyed nectar.   With reverence, he parts the petals of her bloom, Tongue tracing ancient patterns of worship and surrender. Each lap a prayer, each flick a testament to his devotion, As she arches above him, goddess of his universe.   Her fingers tangle in his graying hair, a crown of submission, While waves of pleasure ripple through her sovereign form. He drinks eagerly from her chalice, deep and sweet, Lost in the sacred ceremony of flesh and power.   Her thighs, strong and commanding, frame his weathered face, A throne room where his service finds its highest purpose. Her moans are royal decrees that echo through his soul, As he worships at the altar of her divinity.

On Self-Mastery Before Mastery Over Others A Master who seeks to command another must first command himself. Authority without discipline is nothing but noise—loud, fleeting, and without weight. True mastery begins within: the mind must be sharpened, the emotions steadied, and the will made unshakable. Only then can the Master stand above his slave with confidence and clarity. A Master who has not mastered himself becomes ruled by impulse. Anger dictates his words, jealousy clouds his vision, and fear drives his actions. Such a man cannot lead, for he is a servant to his own weakness. A slave will sense this instability, and with it, respect will erode. Without respect, obedience becomes hollow, and the dynamic crumbles. To achieve self-mastery, the Master must practice three disciplines: Discipline of the Mind – The Master must think clearly, without being swayed by fear, envy, or pride. Reflection, study, and intentional learning strengthen the intellect and refine judgment. Discipline of the Body – The Master must hold himself with presence and authority. Care of health, posture, and bearing are not vanity—they are symbols of control and power that the slave must see and feel. Discipline of the Spirit – The Master must know his own values, beliefs, and purpose. He must act from principle, not reaction, and embody consistency in every command. When the Master governs himself, his commands are unquestionable. His slave will feel the certainty of his hand, the steadiness of his rule, and the clarity of his authority. Self-mastery is the root of all mastery; without it, the title of Master is an empty shell.   Let it be remembered: before a Master can claim ownership of another, he must first prove ownership of himself.

A MERRY AND SAFE HOLIDAY SEASON TO ALL! It really sucks to say that I'm struggling right now. I know a lot of people have this perception that Dominants are always confident, without flaws, or that we've got our shit together. Hahaha! Not to burst anyone's bubble, but we're human, too. I'm not sure if I'm self-sabotaging or if this is how my depression is manifesting these days. <Blah> but a <laugh> as well. It's Christmas Eve, and though I didn't send my wish list off to Santa, maybe a bit of magic will sparkle down as he flies over. And maybe, just maybe, I'll wake tomorrow to a message in my mailbox from an intriguing s-type who's interested in being an elf-ful helping hand to a delightfully "extra" and jolly D-type. Hohoho! 🎁

This site has been a part of my life since 2009.  I have grown and went through many life changes.  My Husband is My Master. We rarely go into Master/slave mode but when we do its what we need.  I realize real serious bdsm is a lifestyle not play and Him and I are far from vanilla. We are deeply spiritual and energy aware so even if we are not practicing what most view as bdsm we have a deep dynamic.  We have been hit with many things over the years . There is always wave for every person. Ours seemed giantic lol but we are together.  I was owned by a Master for ten years in the past. I can see clearly now so many things about that time in my life. There are regrets but we cant go back. It was never meant to be something I could have as a real life in all ways. I wish I would of known myself more but it led to what I was suppose to find. It taught me many things. There were times I thought that It was not safe and I never trusted. I wish I could talk to him but I dont think that will ever happen. I understand why. I really think He thought I was something that I never was . The mind web was so layered I will never know. I rarely wonder anymore because I know I will never get answers.  So I am here...I am just here . I have a few friends here and there that log in. 

How hard is it to actually read a profile before messaging someone? I mean really, it's not that difficult to do, either that or people just don't care. Seeing the messages I get it seems both. You want fuckmeat, move on I'm not it. I'm also sure as hell am not sharing my picture with anyone until I feel comfortable with you. I will also say again that this is the fastest way for me to ignore your messages and/or block you:  1. Clearly not reading my profile, I'll know if you are not from or around the location I stated, being right out disrespectful and thinking I'll actually want your "guidance" or be your "toy" when you couldn't take the time to look at my interest list or my limits which are all up to date.  2. Sending me pictures without asking me, this includes any kind of picture. If I want to see what you look like I will ask. Same with sending me a phone number or any other type of social media ID, if I want it I'll ask. 3. If you can't open a conversation with more than "Hi, how are you?" or just "Hi." Then I'm not interested, I like substance and if you can send a good opening message then I'll be more likely to wanna talk to you don't bother with anything half assed it just won't work.  4. You're profile and/or interest list is blank. I could understand if your proifle is brand new but if you've been on this site for more than a month I think you've had plenty of time to write and add in your interests. That helps me guage what kind of person you are. 

I think it is easily possible that single dominant people are seen as inflexible and unyieldimg.  Set in their ways.  My way or the highway.  My interests are now your interests and there is nothing else to be said on the matter. I suppose that could be true for some people.  It is NOT true for me.  I was an only child, more or less, and as far as I can tell that is still true.  Due to reasons I will gladly discuss with individuals inquisitive enough to really want to know, I was a bit of a loner growing up.  That didn't bother me, and it still doesn't. Fast forward a thousand years and as a single person I live my life the way I see fit and do what interests me.  Having said that, I am here to meet people and develop relationships.  As I look around the CS landscape I suspect the same is true of most of you.  Being in a relationship and being single are two completely different things.  Within the framework of my relationship I expect to be dominant, but that does not mean that I expect to carry my single life along with me.  Good relationships are good because there is at least some level of learning of the other person, and compromise when it seems to be practical.   I would ask that people who look at profiles and interest lists and try to assume that the square peg is always going to be a square peg and will never be able to fit into a round hole to look in the mirror and ask themselves if that is even a safe assumption of themselves.

Punishment is based on creating a fear response of some kind. Fear erodes trust and connection. Trust and connection are essential for the surrender of a submissive. Therefore, punishment erodes what is essential to a healthy, successful Ds dynamic. This makes punishment of any sort incompatible with my relationships.  I am a leader and a carer in my career and daily life.  I do not punish any of my charges, and it insults the dignity of another creature to punish them. I make mistakes, but never intentionally. I have no motivation to brat or test the boundaries a partner may set for me. I hate failure, and I hate displeasing. My motivation is to make a partner proud. That is incentive enough to avoid mistakes. That is, provided I have a partner capable of feeling and expressing pleasure, and who wants to have pride in who serves him. A constructed, unnecessary punishment added on top of knowing I have failed or displeased just creates more pain for everyone, and even has more subtle, insidious impact, such as contributing to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to avoid making a mistake is communication, flowing clearly and in quantity in both directions. The best response to a mistake or misunderstanding is to try to get clarity, then discuss it, find common ground, and discuss how to avoid what went wrong. I believe in accountability and responsibility, and also in practicality. I acknowledge that my position on punishment is perhaps unusual or unexpected. I consider myself well healed from my traumas, none of which I would consider terribly serious to start with. I know myself, and I know my needs. I have no hope of serving anyone if I cannot serve with an open, vulnerable heart. Some submissives apparently require a punishment mechanism, either to set aside their mistakes with a physical reminder or something else to even the scales, or to have some sort of other constructed reminder of which way the power exchange flows. I am not so unfortunate. I can understand these concepts perfectly well through verbal reassurance.

MY EXPERIENCE and WHAT FRUSTRATES ME ABOUT MANY ON THIS SITE IF YOUR GOAL IS A RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY PRIOR TO MESSAGING  A recent encounter prompted me to share this. When I engage in conversation (messaging) with men on this site. They often comment on how refreshing to find a real woman. A woman who understands D/s and BDSM focused relationships are not sustainable, they are just for play. A woman who understands vanilla compatibilty is essential for anything real. If you are living your everyday life, involving your professional obligations, and social commitments, familial obligations, and other activities you enjoy. You need to know that person can fit into that part of your life. She needs to know the same of you. Presumably you have already discussed and determined an alternative lifestyle, or kink compatibility. Now its time to determine cerebral, physical chemistry and the sustainability of a real relationship That begins with the mutual sharing of information about our vanilla lives. You can still maintain anonymity, until you are ready to share who you really are out in the world.  THIS IS WHERE MY FRUSTRATIONS BEGIN.  Our most valuable commodity in life is our time. Of which we dont have an infinite amount. When we intentionally choose to gift some of our time towards a person of interest. We are saying to you I value you and want to vest my time in getting to know you. That is an act of respect.  When there is an exchange of information, its communication, sometimes people are busy, that's when you communicate to the other, it may be a few days before I reply which sets expectations regarding the response and is respectul of the other. Sometimes one party determines, maybe this isn't what i want. The respectful thing to do, is to simply say, I have decided we are not compatible after all. Thank you for your willingness to engage and share. I will continue my search and wish you luck with yours. But...this is Collarspace where many people hide who they are, and their faces behind a blank profile, or one this that is seeking the fantasy...or a very few like me..seeking something real We are all adults here. Presumably we were raised by someone, and we were taught exceptable behavior and  manners. Most of us have either currently, or at some point had a career of some kind. During that career whatever it is or was, you had to engage with other people. There were/are certain expectations of behavior, manners, and always expected to be on time  To be respectful of others time, as you would want them to be respectful of yours. These are lessons we are taught from kindergarden.. But..on this site more often than not...men will engage with you, there will be a mutual exchange of imformation. Then when you start asking about their life, which is a story that should be easy to put to words...no reply next day (but you see they are online), no reply the second day (but again you see they are online)...and then a third, fourth, etc. Why these men can't just 'grow a pair', and be honest is beyond me. Because of the randomness of profile circulation. They, make it hard for the real men and real gentlemen to be recognized and appreciated by real women like me. Now, I find myself spending my time writing this.. to say IF YOU DONT HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BE RESPECTFUL OF MY TIME....IF YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF ENGAGING IN AN OPEN AND HONEST WAY TO SEE IF WE ARE COMPATIBLE....IF YOU ARE NOT SEEKING A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A REAL WOMAN....IF YOU ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT....IF YOU ARE NOT TRULY ABLE TO RELOCATE OR CO-LOCATE, OR DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES TO TRAVEL....IF YOU ARE NOT SEEKING YOUR LIFE PARTNER.....IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE 'TIME' TO PUT IN THE WORK TO NURTURE & DEVELOP A SUSTAINABLE COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP....IF YOU HABITUALLY OVER PROMISE & UNDER DELIVER....IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS" OR GOOD MANNERS TO REPLY TO OUR MESSAGE EXCHANGE PURSUANT TO OUR CONVERSATION...... BYPASS MY PROFILE...DO NOT SEND ME A MESSAGE!  

I met a Dom on Fet Life who has been keeping me in line the last few weeks. He is not a nice person. I don't really like Him, but as a Dom and potential Master, He is exactly what I need. I've been processing this phenomenon, putting much thought into why I respond to Him so well as a Dom, even though I wouldn't choose to spend time with Him otherwise (and I'm sure it's mutual). I cannot count the number of Doms, Masters, Gods, Slave Owners, etc. that I've met both online and in person who seem unwilling or incapable of issuing an order or command. I tend to follow orders. If I don't receive any, I assume the Dom is uninterested and I move on. Aftter all, it is my job to follow orders, not to issue them. The Man that I am currently serving does not have this problem. I obey all His orders without question, even those I don't want to. It's not my job to choose which orders to follow. If you identify as a slave and you're having trouble attracting potential Masters, maybe you should take a look at your profile and count how many times "me" or "I" appear in your text. Then skim your profile for anything that would tell a potential Master what you could do for Him. Learn much?

thoughts from the peanut gallery  i am sure that it is the insulation of the internet that inspires such trollish behaviors but the attempts at baiting are truly pointless.  i know my true nature, and my place within a mutually gratifying Ds relationship, and my partner never has reason to question or doubt my submission to him.  that being said,  I am not particularly submissive to others,  strangers with whom I have never engaged in conversation, family who would take the opportunity to walk all over me, etc, I  am respectful to all but am not everyone's submissive.  i do live my life in service to others,  caregiving and family household management,  but again,  my most true and strongly alpha submissive personality is only visible to the one individual to whom i freely grant possession of myself to.  should you read this and think,  well she isn't really a submissive at all,  or she should be on some other site, or I'm going to tell this bitch what is really up, please move on to someone else's profile,  perhaps they are better suited to your interests.. i wish you all much luck and safety in your endeavors.   

Keeping in mind that as soon as I saw that he had written before, I rolled my eyes and made a choice to respond, knowing how this was gonna go, and since I'm in a mood, it was slightly amusing and I almost chuckled when he did exactly what I expected him to do. Which I'm sure would have pissed him off worse... I received this today from someone listed as a Dom, who had contacted me well over a year ago, then again last December. Just 4 months ago, but he's once again completely forgotten that he wrote me before, that he was asked to do something then disappeared, forgot that he had written the second time and was REMINDED, and asked if he had done it yet, but wanted me to commit to being interested (in someone who had ghosted once already and hadn't done anything he was asked to do, which was to read and EDUCATE HIMSELF, not do anything that benefited ME, but instead forgot even speaking to me) and now he's written me again. With the same message as the first two times. 3/6/22 6:48 AM "Good morning, Miss, Hope you are doing well I am wondering if per chance you could possibly be open to a 64 going on 34 year old sub and iring slave located in North Aurora, west of chicago who is intelligent openminded kinky adventurous fun and selfassured about who and what he is? Most of all one who seeks a true Owner and Domme who is a totally devoted to you like me? It is so hard to find a genuine and suitable Domme and Owner in this lifestyle I hope you find me to be exceptional seems like we want the very same thingfor You to take total control of memind body and soul And what you depict your profile is quite interesting and just what I know I need Although my profile says I am a Dom, I have come to realize I am a stone sub I have the ability desire and wherewithal to host and come visit and ultimately relocate should it come to that I travel your way quite a bit on business But most of all I would love to just have the honor and privilege to get to know you you seem so genuine Hope to hear from you"   This is what I wrote him just now. I think it was pretty mild, all things considered. "angeldmort on 3/6/22 at 7:20 AM: Considering that we had a conversation not 4 months ago and you've already forgotten that, I guess not And you obviously didn't read my profile THIS time, either So youve spammed me twice, I let you off the hook last time and had a conversation anyway, and now you are back having done the same exact thing, so you learned jack shit last time and are telling me either how forgettable I am, or how incredibly forgetful and lazy you are Either way, buhbye" and his entirely predictable reply - "sorry Had I known you were such a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered personI would not have contacted you in the first placenot at all the type of Domme or person I want in my life Who wants to take the time to read all the gibberish anyway Thanks and buhbye to you, too"   Now, this is not at ALL even remotely uncommon. This is the Standard Operating Procedure for guys contacting women via the internet for the purpose of getting the attention they want. They bury us in compliments, make grand sweeping statements about their desire for a relationship, and when they don't get it, usually because of their own screwups, they immediately do a 180 and get verbally abusive. (Or if in person, physically abusive/violent/deadly.) And in this case, since it's a BDSM centered site, he stated he wanted a Domme "to take total control of me mind body and soul." But apparently that did not extend to actually asking him to DO anything. Even if it makes him better able to get what he wants.   When I asked him back in December if he had read any of the books I recommended to him, based on his complete lack of submissive experience and his stated desire to get some, he replied "Quite honestlyI have not But if You feel You are truly interested in me, I will gladly do so as I know that would make me better prepared to be the best I can be for you should it come to that And that would be my entire focus"   Do you see the problem? A total stranger on the internet. We have exchanged a few emails. That's it. I have to profess my TRUE interest in him, without knowing him beyond what his shown so far in this extremely limited way. After he has already failed to do the most basic of things - - actually READ my profile, which has a couple things in it specifically to let me know if someone read it, right at the very tip top where it's easy to see - written a profile that actually reflects who is is, instead of one that he thinks will get him laid as a Dom - write an actual email to me instead of sending me the copy/pasted message he sends every Domme - write a message to me that doesn't lie about having read my profile and "seems like we want the very same thing" - stick around in a conversation HE had initiated - done the only thing I actually asked of him, which was to read a book I thought would help him with his search - be honest about not wanting to do this, like a fucking adult, instead of ghosting like a little bitch - keep track of who he contacts so he doesn't insult my intelligence with another copy/paste message that just tells me I'm not interesting enough for him to remember Yeah. I'm gonna be SO interested. In blocking him from contacting me again. But he feels I should give that, before he has to give ANYTHING. He should get payment up front, before he begins the work of becoming someone in who a Domme COULD be interested in. Because ... He wants it? And being female, I should want to hand it to him on a silver platter.   And the second that is pointed out to him - the first time I explain that no, he has screwed up, and screwed HIMSELF over with his own actions, and lack of actions, and lack of basic effort on his own behalf, more than once? I am "a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered person." Because that's how a "submissive" responds to correction from a Dominant Woman? Or it seems to be, based on how this goes, over and over and over. No recognition of personal responsibility for his mistakes, no apology for ghosting, no appreciation of being given a reply despite the obvious lack of effort, no self-awareness at all that might lead to him fixing his mistakes, changing his course, and possibly finding what he claims to want. Just the immediate knee-jerk flip to insults and abuse. But hey, at least he didn't call me old, fat and ugly. That's the usual guy response to getting rejected.   And again, this is standard stuff. This is the main kind of interaction women have on dating sites. This is the main kind of interaction Dommes have on BDSM sites. It may as well be the same exact person writing me these, over and over. As the song says - "Only the names will change." This is not submission. This is self-entitlement. This is toxic masculinity. This is a fragile male ego. And THIS is what is standing between you and the Domme you want to kneel to. THIS is what we see and expect when you write us before reading our profile, when you send us a generic email that could have been sent to someone else, when you don't fill out your profile, when you want us to be "interested" before having an actual conversation and letting us get to know you. I know it sees like work, but honestly, without it, you are asking for a handout, and we know that hand will probably turn into

Using this instead of updating profile. Been away for a few years, just popped back to peruse, see if much has changed however this being a free site, will attract some very unsavoury characters who will be rude, obnoxious, abusive, intrusive, demanding and self entitled.  Go give your head a wobble if you approach  me in that manner. Being a northern lass, I am blunt and will say as I see it. I'm also quite astute, very independent, self sufficient and very happy to remain that way. I chose to have people in my life that do not bring drama, lie, gaslight and are narcissistic. Yes, I do have submissive tendencies however do not expect me to give it from the 1st contact, ask personal and intimate details and assume I'm a doormat. Respect is earned, especially from internet strangers. I can walk away from negative behaviour very easily, with the door shut firmly in your face. I have experience and knowledge of D/s. I live in one of the most beautiful parts of the country, West lakes. I have the sea, fields, mountains and hills for my view.  Sheep and cows for neighbours. The start of the lakes are a half hour drive away. I enjoy days out on my motorbike either alone or in a group when its not raining!  Anyway, those who are genuine, good luck and be happy.  Tara for now J

Wavy Baby: Sirenade, The Lullaby of Power, Love, and Connection this song is excellence. it provides nuturing in such a cool and curated vibe. it's an updated lullaby in a song. it's a shh shh shh whisper hug in an art deco haute couture framework. this song could be so many versions. it could be a connection to spirit and the water goddesses since it is sirenade...serenade as a siren.....it could be a song for women connection to other women. but my focus here is always about the power dynamic. in that context i hear it in two ways..it could be the submissive woman singing to the man. in the first part...it could be then the man reciprocating in the other half after the mermaid season breakdown. it could be a segment i don't talk about often due to my complete inexperience of being able to attempt this to happen for me but what exists, the daddy through the dominant woman...be it a more butch or masculine or gender fluid et all woman....or a femme woman...because similar to submissive daddy men, the feminine presenting and aligned woman that is a daddy is often overlooked...but they have and do exist for long periods of time as well.... i feel contextually given the singer is a woman it makes more sense for it to be sung for the submissive woman straight up from the dominant daddy woman's perspective in that relationship. but i feel all those apply.

 toxiclostheart 

Finally re-dyed my hair for the first time in six months.  Made a mess of it, all over me, but the colors are better than i could have hoped for.   Unfortunately it did not help my mental state at all, which was what i was most hoping for.  But at least now i can get my new driver's license and have pretty colored hairs in my picture. Daddy has been so patienct with my mental state, or lack thereof, and i need to find a way to make it up to Him.  How he deals with me i will never know, but i am beyond thankful. This week also started our doctor appointments...hopefully we are able to start the disability process for Him quickly so that we have a dual income again.  And i know He hates not being able to contribute financially due to His health.  The doctor told Him that although He is only 41, He has to consider Himself 75 physically, and that is a tough pill to swallow.   For me i'm sure they will try and give me medications again, and i'll accept it for my blood pressue as it is beyonf sky-high but other than that i prefer not to take anything....i would rather allow my body to heal itself....even if it is really bad at doing so...