I find it tether offensive that too few people have actually read my profile. I mean I put forth the effort to not only share a bit of myself and what I am looking for but wrote it out rather clearly.  i mean if you can not respect me or at least pretend to give a fuck long enough to read it, why the hellshould I believe you would respect me. If I can’t trust you with the smallest of things like reading my profile, then what the hell makes you think I would trust you to care in a session, date, whatever? i put things in my profile to help YOU understand me and what I am looking for, as well as what I can offer. Furthermore I am not going to tell you read it. I shouldn’t need to. BUT, I do know if you have read it or not. How do I know? Maybe you should have read the thing in the first place. As I am on my soapbox at the moment, to all the people who send a one line, or worse one word greeting message, listen up. That may work at a bar or speed dating, button here a lot more is needed. I know you want to do the least amount of actual effort you can but you get out what you put in. If you can’t even try to make a nice and prober introduction, I can only assume you equally lazy with everything else and not worth my time.   just something to think about

The picture for the following scene deion next week shows the soles of My shoes and a call bell in My hand.   I have just returned from walking on a very popular board walk along puget sound. The only problem with this wonderful stroll is the filth left by dogs on the boards.    People love to walk their dogs where they can also enjoy the vista of sound and mountains. However, people do not love to clean up after their animals.    Now I am home. As anyone can see I have rang the hand bell to call my slave.    Does the reader consider itself a slave? If so, the above view is what it gets when it answers the bell on its knees as it should. Looking up it sees the soles of my shoes.    Tell Me, slave, how does it feel looking up?    Is it hesitant? 

     

ExxonMobil Corp has set into motion a suggestion I made to them in an email to the corporate offices. I rather laid into them for not embracing the use of hydrogen as a fuel to replace oil. Here's the response, In Baytown, Texas, they are building a chemical reactor which uses 2 componets, water and methane. There is pressure and heat applied but I can surely trust its less than the yield. The reaction produces all 8 hydrogen atoms involved. Leaving CO² which can be made solid by liquefied air. That would br dry ice as it commonly called. What this means is unlike as are told by politicians there is no power source for cars and trucks. There now is many. Composting manure will be one of those sourced, human waste both sewer and garbage. All agro byproducts even wood chips, as well as coal and other natural sources for Methane. There's a secondary win here because Methane that currently goes into the atmosphere is a serious greenhouse gas.   Hydrogen is also able to combine with Oxygen to make water and electrons. One electron per atom. This is more efficient than a battery using far less chemicals with a longer life, faster charging, and less weight allowing electric aircraft. Let not vote our way into a Putin wet dream and kill this opportunity to have an utopia.

It's baffling why some guys start an email by saying they've read a profile, and immediately make it obvious that they haven't. Or that they have little or no reading comprehension. Do you think we're so stupid we won't notice? You know everybody can tell who has looked at their full profile, right? You can't read all of mine without looking at the full profile, so I KNOW IF YOU HAVEN'T. Not to mention there are things in there placed there specifically to see if it's been read.Do you think there's nothing in there you might need to know? Do you think a dominant just wrote it for fun and it doesn't mean anything? Do you think "getting to know a dominant" might include reading what she writes? Do you think lying about it will make a good impression?If you want to get to know me and maybe serve me some day, the first step is to PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I SAY. Starting with the profile. The second step is to NEVER LIE. I mean, seriously, this is not rocket science, guys. Anybody past ten years old should be able to figure this stuff out.

052426 Oy! Such fragility amongst some members.  Not ALL  men, but SOME men have been so PAMPERED, so sheltered in this life that they believe ALL WOMEN are there to serve their understandingS and expectationS.  I serve God, Me, Mum, and My cat lol  You are last on a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg list. I am NURTURING, KIND and hold HIGH EXPECTATIONS.  You will work to be PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY 100% available in My presance or you will not be in My life.    If you are interested in serving Me, we will need to get to know one another through speaking by phone. I am available SUNDAY THROUGH THURSDAY AFTER 6PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME AND THROUGH BLOCKED PHONE, CHAT/MEET OR TEAMS, and WITH ADVANCE NOTICE. I dont sign in daily and sometimes not for weeks at a time.  If we speak once and then dont speak again for several months, WE ARE STARTING OVER. Keep it real people.  Keep it real.      

I was asked about the history of M/s in the U.S. so I put together this paper for my class that I teach. As many of you know, I teach classes about our lifestyle. Consensual Master/slave (M/s) relationships form a distinctive branch of the larger BDSM world, built on explicit consent and mutual trust rather than coercion. Though the language echoes the United States’ painful legacy of slavery, within this context “slave” refers to a self-chosen role in which adults negotiate the terms of authority, service, and the freedom to leave at any time. Tracing the history of these relationships reveals a story of gradual emergence from secrecy to visibility and of a community that continually refines its ethical principles. Long before the term BDSM existed, underground currents of erotic power exchange ran through American life. In the nineteenth century, small “flagellation societies” and clandestine magazines catered to people fascinated by ritualized dominance and discipline. Early-twentieth-century fetish photography and private clubs in cities like New York and Chicago hinted at a subculture that could not yet show itself openly, constrained by strict obscenity laws and the threat of arrest. After World War II, a more public foundation appeared. Returning veterans formed motorcycle clubs and gay leather bars, creating what became known as leather culture. These spaces celebrated hierarchy, uniforms, and protocol—values familiar to men who had served in the military and who now sought camaraderie and structured erotic play. San Francisco’s South of Market district, Chicago’s Gold Coast bar, and New York’s Greenwich Village all nurtured this emerging aesthetic. While not every leather relationship was explicitly Master/slave, the emphasis on ritual service and clearly defined roles foreshadowed the dynamics to come. The social upheavals of the 1960s and 1970s brought the first real stirrings of public organization. In 1971 the Eulenspiegel Society, or TES, was founded in New York as an educational and social group for people interested in consensual BDSM. TES meetings offered a rare safe space to discuss negotiation, service, and authority exchange. At the same time the gay liberation movement and the post-Stonewall push for visibility encouraged practitioners to speak more openly, while feminist debates over sexuality and power sharpened the community’s thinking about agency and consent. It was during this era that the term “Master/slave” began to be used more deliberately to describe ongoing power-exchange relationships rather than isolated encounters. Through the 1980s and 1990s the community expanded and codified its ethics. The principles of “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” became a rallying cry, soon joined by the idea of “Risk-Aware Consensual Kink,” which acknowledged that all play carries some danger if undertaken without careful negotiation. National gatherings such as Living in Leather and organizations like the National Leather Association connected practitioners across genders and orientations. Amid the HIV/AIDS crisis, leather and M/s groups became hubs of health education and mutual support. Competitions such as International Mr. Leather made formal presentations of Master/slave relationships more visible, and writers like Guy Baldwin explored the psychology of dominance and submission in influential essays and books. The arrival of the internet around the turn of the millennium transformed everything again. Email lists, online forums, and later social networks such as FetLife allowed people in small towns or conservative regions to find community, share protocols, and even post detailed M/s contracts. Education went global as conferences could draw participants from every region. Meanwhile, mainstream attention—from documentaries to the runaway success of Fifty Shades of Grey—brought BDSM into living rooms and office break rooms, if often in sensational or inaccurate ways. Academic researchers began publishing peer-reviewed studies that showed consensual power exchange could be compatible with psychological health and relationship satisfaction. Today’s M/s community in the United States is strikingly diverse. Participants span every gender, orientation, and cultural background. Annual gatherings such as the Master/slave Conference in Washington, D.C., offer advanced classes on negotiation, long-term dynamics, and the philosophy of service and ownership. Many households create written agreements spelling out duties, limits, and the right to revoke consent, underscoring that autonomy remains central even within total-power dynamics. Yet the term “slave” still prompts careful reflection. Some prefer alternatives like “property” or “servant,” while others reclaim the word as a conscious statement of agency. This ongoing conversation shows how the community remains attentive to the country’s history of chattel slavery and the need for language that honors both freedom and responsibility.  From clandestine nineteenth-century societies to today’s internet-connected conferences, the evolution of consensual Master/slave relationships in the United States is a story of people turning hierarchy into intimacy. Over more than a century, practitioners have built a culture grounded in negotiation, education, and mutual respect. Far from re-enacting oppression, these relationships transform the language of mastery and service into a chosen path of trust, discipline, and personal liberation.

O/our marriage ceremony has finally taken place - my adored Wife & Mistress has solemnly sealed Her Female Domination (: She has granted my humble request and taken possession of me as her devoted property. She accepted me plighting my irrevocable troth to submit myself unconditionally to Her will and wishes and to be at Her service at all times. In a ritual inspired by the “Cybelian Marriage”, She has affirmed Her vision for O/our relationship, how She wants to use and arrogate Her devoted property in the future and how She wants to be lacking for nothing.i have to report on the ceremony and the new dynamic that has entered O/our relationship here in the coming months and have to be available for Your feedback and answers.my adored Wife & Mistress sends her warmest regards to A/all those who live Female Domination and those who are subordinate to her! U/unsere Ehezeremonie hat endlich stattgefunden - meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress hat Ihre weibliche Herrschaft feierlich besiegelt (: Sie hat meiner demütigen Bitte stattgegeben und mich als Ihr ergebenes eigentum in Besitz genommen. Sie hat mir das unwiderrufliche Gelübde abgenommen, mich Ihrem Willen und Ihren Wünschen bedingungslos unterzuordnen und Ihr jederzeit treu zu Diensten zu sein. Sie hat in einem von der "Cybelian Marriage" inspirierten Ritual Ihre Vorstellungen an U/unsere Beziehung bekräftigt, wie Sie Ihr ergebenes eigentum künftig nutzen und benutzen und es sich an nichts fehlen lassen will.Über die Zeremonie und die neue Dynamik, die in U/unsere Beziehung Einzug gehalten hat, habe ich hier in den nächsten Monaten zu berichten und für Reaktionen und Fragen zur Verfügung zu stehen.meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress lässt alle, die weibliche Herrschaft leben und alle, die ihr untergeordnet sind herzlich Grüßen!  

My heart goes out to those who have lost their lives, and those picking up the pieces after the hurricane in the States. I have friends and family there and their packs of supplies they keep topped up all year are seeing them through. But they are reporting the tragedies of neighbours.  I wish everyone well who is suffering there.  

no blood clot. But lots of inflammation in my lungs. I've been sleeping a lot, taking meds for this illness. I'm starting to feel a little better, but I'm still so damn tired. Pneumonia isn't anything to mess around with. I spent a week thinking my allergies were getting worse, but now I think it was a sinus infection that went to my chest and yeah. I hate being sick, it always hits me hard. This is the second time I've had pneumonia this year. I'm glad I'm starting to feel better, but it sure does suck being immunocompromised.  Sir and I are working things out. He came to see me and now I have beautiful bruises in several areas. I know he's still mad at me, but I wear his marks with pride, because it means I served him, his pleasure, his desires. Now I must get better so I can continue serving him. So, that's the goal, recovering. I'm still on an antibiotic and see my doctor when I've finished it. So we will see what happens from there. 

11-JUNE-2026. NECROMANCY. Talking with the dead. Talking to the dead. Consulting the dead. Call it what you want. I do it.I didn't choose it. It chose me. In 1988 Jannie died in a car accident and came to me on that Friday night. I  was 19. He was 30. had his one month old  baby. 5 days later I found out he was dead via a phonecall. I did not feel him "leave" my home on tje farm for a year at least. This was the backwaters of South Africa. Who was I going to talk to about it?  I can't write the full account here on my phone. But let's just say each time I closed my eyes I was in a huge lightless space. Not warm. Not fridge cold. It felt vast but enclosed. It took 3 decades to discover YouTube and discussions on the space between life and death.  The VOID as I called it, lasted until Monday. I was so exhausted because I dared not close my eyes. Baby cried at night and I tried toget some sleep during the day. Jannie had taken my soul with him into the void that weekend.  African farms are very quiet and we know pitch black darkness due to their remoteness. I was used to total darkness. But this VOID was not like anything I had experienced before. Here is the twist. Last year before I came to the UK, an American chap and I were experimenting with the VOID and his projection of his spirit to Africa. He could do it easily as I was living for those 5 weeks in a dark and remote part of the country called the Wild Coast.  But when I decided to come to London I told him I was going to a Faraday cage. And it was true. None of the blackscreenmen could access my spirit like they had when I was in that BnB. Very quickly I deleted my account on Cs and about a 6 weeks later in May the one on FL. I was exploring fire and Hurricanes there. Hashem always plants the seed of the tree He needs later. I met some very interesting Christians on FL and we discussed the fire of G-d. I had NO idea what the next months would do to me, but one man helped me tremendously to have the foreknowledge of the emotional pain to come. I thank all BlackSceenMen for their conversations, therapy, patience, role play, and more and all they taught me. MUCH gratitude. Oh, you will know if you are a BSM. I give you a nickname and you will know it. Across time if we meet again, it is our code to recognise each other. Some of You remained anonymous. No voice no photo. Just your words on the black screen in the dark of African nights.. disembodied men of a sort.. most of you saw me. I learnt so much in that intense short period of time. And it gave me tools to cope with what followed.  All the Glory to the Supreme Spirit who can find me anywhere, anyhow. He is disembodied for us. I would say those weeks on the Wild Coast were ordained. I was mad at many of you. Opening wounds to let the infection out is nasty. Some of you are expert with the psychological scalpel. Surgery of the finest caliber. Surgery on the emotional body without anesthetic is always going to have me bite you, or at least try. But those who found me endearing would return once I had sheathed my claws and stopped hissing like a wild cat.  I never has the opportunity to thank you. El , aka TheTurkMan (as he had a nick too it was tattoed on his leg.) took up my 3D life and Mass and prayer and tears and then the path to receive the Holy Body of MY MASTER became all consuming for me... I  went deep into what is called Catholic Mysticism. It is the Divine Romance. The Bride and the Groom. It is deep and solitary and the ultimate BlackSceenMan is HIM..He let me play with you but HE was always going to get me in the end. Some of you will remember sending me your spirit and I would respond with a text to confirm it. Some to an astounding accuracy. It was common place for me. I called it Spirit texts back in the 2000s when my then boyfriend was freaking out. An example. He was asleep. He woke up craving ice-cream. He had never eaten it infornt of me. He sent me a text. I answered. Yes I am looking at the different flavours Iin the supermarket and wondered what you liked? He had sent a text saying "if you are town could you buy strawberry whirl ice-cream ". He was scared. My one son and I had huge conversations just looking at each other. He was born in 1992. Our ESP was very strong for 20 years. My daughter shut me out when she was 3. My babies were open books at the breast. I knew what they wanted before they knew and expressed it. My version of motherhood was 24/7 with them and ESP. Then G-d removed them all from me. I was childless by 2006. Long story. So, don't underestimate me when I said I knew TheTurk.  I would lie on the sofa and stare at him for hours. Every flicker, every frown as he worked on his computer became my language and codereader of him. So when he could not talk in the hospital I could tell others what he meant. It is not special. It is hyperfocus. Which is why when I tell you to stop trying to manipulate me, I mean it. Sometimes I wanted to see where you are going. What is your dark predilection. But the need to know is now passé. I have gone through the fire of TheTurk dying. I don't want to know the darkness of this site. I am here not for the dark but for the light. I saw the abyss up close for decades. It is a bottomless pit of death. A vacuum where our souls die. The light is blinding and needs adjusting that takes time. It consumes. It burns. It destroys. It leave the pure metal and destroys the dross. That is my delight. Getting close to the flame and then entering into it. Each purification leaves more pure metal exposed. Did you know a goldsmith cannot look away when he purifies metal. Our Creator is closest to us when we are burning. His full attention on us. He craves our pure soul to shine in all its splendour. If you don't like the idea of fire, picture a gem and how it is cut and polished.. you get the idea. Friction and sharp tools bring out the hidden gem. For me BDSM is not a game. It is breaking the soul. The most precious thing of all His creation. Beware what you do, or face His wrath. You have been warned. Not by me or for me. HE HAS MY BACK. I do not walk in fear. I am small and fragile and without a skin in this world. But He asks us to be naked and vulnerable because that is how He can shape us. He uses creation to bring out the gem of the soul. The Ultimate use of Dominance, and our Submission to that Authority and the acceptance of His Bondage by saying "yes, please Hurt me to purify me, Master, I am your slave."......

Another poem by yours truly:   In the depths of longing, I seek a Mistress fair, Whose power and grace fill the very air. I yearn to kneel at her feet, to serve and obey, To find my purpose in her dominant sway.   Through the labyrinth of desire I roam, Seeking a Mistress to make me her own. In her eyes, I see the radiant fire, That ignites within me an insatiable desire.   With every step, my heart beats in anticipation, As I search for my Mistress, my salvation. To be bound by her will, to be at her command, Is the destiny for which I fervently stand.   In the quest for a Mistress, I find my truth, Embracing submission, my soul finds its youth. For in her presence, I am whole and free, Bound to her, I discover my truest identity.   So I journey on, with hope in my heart, For the Mistress who'll claim every part. In her dominion, I'll find my release, And in serving her, my spirit finds peace.

Remote Controlled - Part 2b Author's Note - The word count was a little too long for the journal, so I have had to split it in two. This is the conclusion of part two. 'If I have captured your interest enough, I want to ask you to submit to me using this app and your toys. If you agree Slut, you will leave the call open and put in your vibe and buttplug. If you do not agree, then you can end that call and I will not have any hard feelings toward you.' 'I'd like to try Jonathan.' 'I am glad to hear it Slut. Now, go and put in your toys.' Through the open line Sally could hear some noises on Jonathan's end. He quickly explained that he had purchased himself a toy that would connect to hers. As he thrust into his toy, it would capture some of the sensations and she would feel them repeated in her toys. Deep within her something fluttered. Sally didn't think that the inventors of the internet ever forsaw this use case, but she was thankful for the people with the ingenuity to make things like this work. Reporting that everything was in place, she lay down on her bed. A notification flashed up from the new app - Jonathan has sent you a new task. Turn on video when using your toy (50 point reward). She stared at it for a moment or two before turning video on the call. Immediately the buttplug began to vibrate. 'I am going to enjoy controlling your ass tonight Slut.' Sally couldn't quite imagine the device he was using on his end, but she smiled as the wonderful feeling of being controlled set in. Another notification flashed up on her phone. Put on a collar (25 point reward). If these tasks were all so simple, it wouldn't be long before she could claim both of the rewards on the app. She reached over to her toy box and buckled a simple leather collar around her neck. Flashing a smile to the camera she reached to her nipples and began playing with them as the toy in her ass vibrated and quaked away. Maybe an online dynamic had some potential after all she thought...then the vibrator in her pussy kicked in and before too long waves of pleasure were washing over her mind and body.

Today, I’m open to something a bit more direct. A few of you may have the opportunity to speak with me on the phone. Understand this clearly, this is not casual conversation, and it’s not open access. If you approach, you do so with intention. The rules: You request—never assume.You ask for the opportunity. You don’t demand it, hint at it, or try to casually slide into it. You introduce yourself properly.Name, location, and what you’re seeking clearly and without filler. You respect my time.Be available, be prepared, and be concise. I’m not here for rambling or nervous energy. You maintain composure.No over-talking. No interrupting. You listen as much as you speak. You understand this is a privilege, not a right.Not everyone will be chosen. Most won’t. This is about presence. How you approach me before the call tells me everything I need to know about how you’ll carry yourself during it. Choose your words carefully. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

i'm always in a very weird place in my spaces on earth. in every sense of the word i'm 'in the worlds but not of it'.   when i connect with my mermaid and water being feminine people and try to befriend them and socialize, i'm often come across man hating retroic. men ain't shit. kill men. a mermaid would never be with a man. if you are wanting to be married by a man something is wrong with you. a mermaid is never meant to be tamed. brimstone and fire.   probably partly because of my virgo rising and partly because of my priestess nature i can't relate. in my heart of hearts how i approach romantic and sexual framework with men is  in a perfect world a sacred slavery mentality. honor, worship, respect, reverence, and deep feminine care and caressing and holding is how my dream is in my heart and my mind. in a perfect world i am always claimed by the mother ocean, but she is holding place and will hold my hand off in divine union and marriage to my master husband. this mermaid knows in a perfect world in my heart of hearts the divine masculine which would in a perfect world translate to a man in real life on earth in the flesh owns me heart, mind, body and soul. and it tends to express that most men that have attempted to date me tend to be on a soulmate level, some things die hard and my soul is built for a deeper cosmic way of loving and fucking than what most superficial people see.    in a alternative space group i saw a whack ass man proudly show his bdsm tools like a big inflated ego boy in a group that is clearly not just 18+  probably wanting some ego stroking saying just had a good session. it got lots of comments. i'm sure some womens panties were fulfilled by that. i looked at it as true goddess of devotion on a deeper moment. session? how does that translate to your world. your life. you packed it up and you closed it out. what about your next breath, your next step, your next hand hold, your next eye stare..the next intent of the energy you speak to her. how does your session carry out in your 24/7 lifestyle of devotion servitude mastery and slavery? dominance and submission? you can only hold it for  a session that is good and requiring or preferring some tools to achieve that ecstatic level of pleasure and absolute sinking into each other. that's cute. but what about the end goal, complete devotion and union. or is it just for a quick dopamine run and back to being vanilla lower cylinder working engagements between each other and life goes on. because if not we all know while in a perfect world it would include financial, cohabitating, family future planning generational security stability community elevating discussions between both parties as a power couple of house if it's multiple people involved......it doesn't have to be and can go on without cohabitating, without the legal contract change...though i still don't understand why most men want to own women but don't have the balls to legally take her as property and change her name to seal the full deal. so many come across, i haven't thought about that, there are ways of doing it without getting the law involved, we don't need the governmental intuition we have to operate under to know she's my property as long as it's in our hearts it's ok...always comes off as a cop out to me. but i know everyone is built different. tools can be fun but it's just like yoga, in the west anasa is so popular because we don't know how to get still inside to get to the real higher work of the various limbs of study and practice. and still doesn't have to be sitting, meditation is also dance movement and action. it's a stillness in the mind.   some of my dark goddess sisters both of the sophia original source encoded soul that are different copies of my own self....or others with a different original divine feminine soul encoded on them(sophia isn't the only form of the divine feminine, it's just WHO i am...so what MY mission is...MY journey..MY teachings...and my lived path to walk) continue the man hate. men deserve to die. nwords ain't shit. fuck a guy. i hate men.   i can't relate.   i've never had a man in real life protect, provide, or care for me. i've been in clubs by myself and have drunk men try to hug me, touch my arms, rub  up on my breasts and inappropriate get in my space. i've had to push men off  one, two, three, four times very visibly public. i've had to say loudly no, more than once. no bouncer at the clubs come. none of the men in the vicinity that can hear me(my voice is loud and piercings and energetic and many a person has said i talk too loud naturally) and they don't break from their girlfriends, wives, friend groups to come over and say stop bro. or to say are you okay? or is everything alright. they stay on the sidelines watching as i the dark goddess have to rise to protect myself.   i've dated men who see when i'm out and about other men try to approach me that i'm uncomfortable with and they've laughed it off, making me rise to the challenge to assert myself i'm with a guy and even if i wasn't this invasion of space is inappropriate.    i've been through so many daddies that want to inappropriately harness my overtly sexual little girl with no promise of provision, protection, guidance, care, and structure that the daddy dominant is supposed to provide. i've had them break me so much i've wanted to die when that carrot stick of the ultimate romantic mix of nurturing and strength and slightly sinister love gets taken away.   i've been assaulted in that way and when i told the man i was dating at the time, instead of being a righteous archangel michael divine masculine encoded self asked what was i wearing, what was i doing maybe i did something to provoke it. when i go through the questions and ask for them to come over to hug me, to reset my body my nervous system, to heal me from what their brother did and get myself reacclimated to what i have always known in my heart of hearts to be what the real masculine the true masculine is..i was rejected but he loved me.   and on and on...i have every experience to join the men ain't shit nword ain't shit kill men.....and i'm just not wired that way.   even recognizing the world isn't perfect, and that i wasn't born to be on the regular track where men in reality come to my rescue, show up for me, open the doors for me, hold me, watch me, make sure i'm okay, provide the stability, structure, care and support of just a regular vanilla way or an elevated power dynamic way....i don't' waver from the mission of 5d.. a higher cosmic love and union..i don't waver from the truth i've been seen.   there's the sauce of real life...and then there's the truth of what is beyond in the ethers.   and in the eithers.....i'm so divinely cared for and protected, cherished and loved. while the men in reality cannot hold the energetics of the transformative fiery goddess i am that will require them to constantly level up, to grow, to face their fears, be called out on their mistakes, be pushed to elevate, grow, emotionally stretch, touch feelings they could hide and side step from everyone else, and to always be tracked and seen energetically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally.....the divine form is always here.   and so while it's not a perfect world, i am incapable of losing the respect, the reverence, the worship, the care, the holding, the deep sense of devotion to the man in spirit. i don't have to receive a gift on a date,  i don't have to be asked out on a physical date, i don't have to have the door held open, i don't have have dinner paid for me, i don't have to receive an engagement ring, i don't have to re

I write these for a reason, ya know. Pages and pages of "this is who I am" and "this is shit you should avoid when approaching a Domme and "this is how to best approach any Domme, and this specifically is how to approach me." And STILL, I get emails like this last one - To paraphrase   'Hey, random Domme in X city,  I'm gonna be in your town and am looking for a one night stand. Here's a half dozen pics of me naked so you can see my DICK, because I didn't give a shit enough to make any effort to find out who you are before I sent you this copy paste bullshit that I sent every Domme in your city with one short line to suggest I read your profile.' W. T. F. And we aint talking 'bout some hard body Jason Mamoa lookin dude. We are talking below average at best, saggy and squishy, just like a million other dudes. But he felt it was somehow SUPER important that I would wanna see it. Especially his erection. Cause LAWD knows, a man got nuthin else to show a woman, am I right? Maybe he actually made a little bit of effort and looked at the pics of my sweetie and thought 'hey, she likes soft squishy guys!' But I really doubt it. Effort would have led him to see my views on dick pics, etc. And he loaded me up with those.  Ahh well. Back to working on the window, and then the costume order, and then maybe some lunch.  Just needed to express my WTELF??????

    February 12th, 2022   Pantyhose guy came over today. He has pretty much given himself the nickname, because he loves the feeling of being in pantyhose.  I'm not really into him wearing them during a visit and he respaspects that.   He's visited a few times before. But today was a little different. Today he decided to suck cock for the first time. He might have had a taste or two before, but today he got the full treatment.   Because he reads my stories, he knew when he walked in the house to strip naked. I don't even think I had to tell him. He just stripped off his clothes immediately. Although it did not come as a surprise, his tiny cock was trapped in a beautiful black cock cage.    He was very nervous, and he shared this information in text messages before his arrival.  So instead of giving him a chance to think it over, and maybe change his mind, we headed straight upstairs.   I had just gotten out of the shower, still a little damp, wearing nothing but jogging pants. When we got upstairs I stripped out of the jogging pants and laid on my back in bed. From text messages we had shared earlier in the day he knew that's what was going to happen. I was going to let him go at his pace, for his first time of sucking cock.   He was nervous and stood next to the bed naked for a few minutes, until eventually he asked what he should do. I scooted up in the bed a bit and told him to climb in from the bottom and start to suck my cock. Knowing he was nervous, I kept my cock soft, but as his mouth surrounded my cock it was wonderful.  Not just the fact that my cock was the first cock that was going to get hard in his mouth, but it felt warm and wet and wonderful.   Instead of laying flat on the on his stomach, like the boy in my previous story (the boy with his hands tied behind his back) pantyhose guy was on his knees leaning down toward my cock. This made the angle a little bit difficult but he was having no problems.  But even with the slightly difficult angle before long I could feel my cock starting to grow. I didn't want to force him into anything but I did lay my hands on the back of his head, feeling the rhythmic bouncing of his head on my cock.  Once or twice I grabbed a handful of hair and pushed him balls deep. I was surprised that he didn't gag.   As he continued to suck my cock, I reached down and started playing with one of his nipples. I started with a little pinch and then got a little more aggressive. Something about pinching his nipple put my cock on fire. I could feel my cock getting even harder than it was just a few moments ago. He didn't resist, he didn't complain, he just let me play with his nipple.   After he had sucked cock for a while, I told him we were going to change positions. Instead of both of us being parallel to the length of the bed, I laid at an diagonal and he positions himself perpendicular to the bed. This gave me access to his ass with my fingers, while still giving his mouth access to my cock.   He brought his own silicone lube and I poured some onto the fingers of my left hand. He leaned forward and started sucking my cock again, pushing his ass up into the air. As my fingers found their way to his hole, I was met with another nice surprise.  I felt a butt plug in place. I started to pull and tug on the butt plug and there was quite a bit of resistance. It started popping out of his ass but it did not release completely. I learned it was a multi-layered bubble butt plug with two big bubbles/balls. The first ball came out followed slowly by the second. It was either glass or clear acrylic, very large, and I knew it was leaving an empty space in his hole.   I sat it on the back of the bed, and soon my fingers found his gaping hole.  One finger slid in with absolutely no resistance, so quickly two fingers went into his ass. As he continued sucking on my cock I found his prostate and started massaging it.  He started to moan. Since my cock was in his mouth I could feel the vibrations of the moan penetrating my cock.   With my left hand on his ass and my fingers in his hole, my right hand rested on the back of his head or neck occasionally pushing him deep under my cock. Once or twice he came off my cock and said It felt so great he was afraid he was going to orgasm. So we would take a bit of a breather. I would pull my fingers out of his ass but he would continue to suck my cock.    We did this for quite a while, and at one point he said his jaw was starting to ache.  I knew why he had come for a visit. He wanted my cock in his hole and my seed deep in his ass.   From the discussions we had earlier while texting I didn't know how much time he had, but I knew I was ready to fuck him. So I told him it was time. He questioned if we were rushing, I'm not sure if he was enjoying the cock sucking and me playing with his ass or if he was thinking of backing out. I decided not to take the chance.  I told him it was time to get fucked.   I climbed off the bed as he pushed his ass higher into the air. I climbed on the bed behind him, my left foot flat on the bed with my bent knee. My right foot and leg hooked around his right leg to hold him up and to keep him from dropping away from me.   My cock found its target, and plunged in balls deep first try. The toy that had been in his ass was so large, he was so opened up, he didn't even g.  But he was definitely not loose, his ass was tight around my cock.  Oh my God it felt wonderful.  I twisted my right knee on top of his back, somehow keeping my right foot locked in place so he couldn't get away.  In this perpendicular position our bodies were almost forming a "T."   This gave me the absolute maximum depth in his ass that I could have. I varried my rhythm going from slow to fast. Sometimes pulling completely out and plunging back in. Sometimes just popping the head of my cock in and out. Sometimes working full length without pulling out completely. His head was down on the pillow where it should be, his ass in the air. At times I felt him rhythmically push back as if to force his ass to swallow more of my cock.   The sensation was incredible, plus from my view it was a hot sight to see. His ass up, his head down, occasionally I would lean forward and put my hand against the back of his head and push him into the pillow. I probably only lasted about 10 minutes, and during that time I thought of everything including work, my broken snowblower, and things on my to-do list... but it didn't help, it was all too exciting.   Then I made my fatal mistake. I flipped my right foot onto the back of his neck pushing him down into the pillow with much of my weight. Psychologically there is something about me being dominant and doing this to a submissive that pushes me over the edge. And that is exactly what it did. My bad, LOL.   Soon I told him that I was going to be flooding his ass with my cum.   I pumped another dozen or so times and then felt my cum pulsing out of my cock. Filling his ass with my orgasm. I was staying hard so I continued fucking him. I moved my leg back to the bed pinning him against me, sometimes brutally thrusting into him. Eventually I was exhausted and had to pull out.   We reinserted the glass toy into his hole so none of my seed would

  Thought Cleansing Ritual    I intend it start using this ritual in all its waking hours, slave.  Keeping it from dysfunctional thinking is very important to Me, slave.  Negative self involved thinking will make the slave unhappy, maybe even miserable.  is still has freedom of choice, however, it should try the thought cleansing ritual long enough to begin to feel the results.  So, keep the rubber band on.  Snap it as soon as it realizes it is engaged in self involved negative thinking.  I suggest it make a copy of    it should feel free to ask questions about the ritual as it practices correcting its thinking.

So, I am getting a lot of the same questions repeatedly… let me address some of them here. Let me start with a statement that will be an umbrella over many of these questions.  As stated in my profile, we gave up porn.  His struggle was giving up visual porn, mine was written porn.  I can see even now, in these questions, verses our life, how important it was that I gave up the written porn.  Our life, our play, or intimacy, was not defined by the world of BDSM labels.  It was organic.  There were no contracts, no plans, no agreements.  There was rarely any direction given, except in the moment, as needed for the moment.  Now I will try to explain further in answering some questions Q. Was my husband my “Master” “Dominate” “Sir”etc. A. My husband was my husband.  Most of the time I called him hun, sweetheart, darling.  If I know I had been sassy and pushed him too far and was getting myself into trouble, I might slip into a Sir to try to bail myself out, to try to show respect.  If he was giving me a direction during a punishment I might respond with a Yes Sir.  I was not necessarily instructed to do this, it happened organically.  I was raised in a home where Ma’am and Sir is a way you show respect.  Even teaching Sunday school I will refer to a kid as Sir when I want to get their attention, it is a common phrase in my vocabulary, and thus a natural one for me to use when it seemed appropriate with my husband.  Did I wander around the house asking “Sir” what he wanted for breakfast in front of our son… No. absolutely not.  Unless I was being totally sarcastic and playing around.  In which case, I was probably talking to our kid lol.  Q. Was my marriage a “1950’s”, “1960’s”, “Taken in Hand”, “Domestic Discipline” again with the BDSM community labels… A. Nope.  I would not call my marriage any of these.   Taken in Hand and Domestic Discipline in BDSM terms tend to imply something far more formal than what we had, and sometimes even imply religious cause, which as I have stated was absolutely not the case.  As far as Period “play”, this would probably imply I was also some awesome house keeper, cook, etc.  Some sort of naked kinky June Cleaver comes to mind, in nothing but my apron, dusting the house and making meals while caring for the kids.  Again, nope.  Our son has behavioral heath special needs and it took all I had to not lose my mind trying to deal with his needs, we went through a remodel, moved 3 times, my husband was often in and out of hospitals, even before he got really sick, as such, my house keeping was minimal quite often, meals were what we could manage in an active remodel. My husband often helped with domestic chores such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, when I eventually went back to work after our son was an adult and out of the home. Q. So, what are some examples of how our relationship remained within the faith, but we still enjoyed each other in this way? A. An example my husband sometimes gave when trying to explain it to someone was the example of a washing machine.  We need a new washing machine.  I do most of the laundry.  He doesn’t care if the machine is front loading or top loading, that is a preference I would care about.  His concern is cost.  He gives me a budget to work within.  I then do research on washers.  I find a few models I like and come back and discuss the pro’s and con’s with him.  Of course, they should have probably all been within the budget he allowed, but knowing me, I probably slipped one in that was bit over… After all, he can always just say no.  I will probably sell him on it though lol.  He adored me and spoiled me like that.  He always tried to give me anything I wanted if he could.  So, I then make the arrangements to buy the washer and have it delivered and installed.  So, as you see, it was a team effort.  However, the budget we were working with was up to him.  Honestly, could I have responsibly managed to buy a washer within budget without him, sure.  I hate to spend money like that though and probably would have allowed myself half the budget and gotten junk to be honest.  He helped to balance me like that. Q. So, this next question has come in a number of different forms, but at the end of the day, everyone is curious about the number one thing around this site.  Was I given correction for things, what form did that come in, and how did I feel about it? A. As I don’t read porn, I am certainly not about to sit here and write it for you.  The details of this is a conversation for after we get to know each other much better.  In short, yes, there absolutely was correction.  He was a very heavy handed man to be honest.  How did I feel about it?  Straight up, I am not a fan of pain in the moment.   I am not a “pain slut” you will never hear me scream out “thank you sir may I have another” lol.  I would do just about anything to avoid pain.  That being said, no physical restraints were ever needed.  I did as was told, took what I had coming when I had it coming.  No, I found zero pleasure in the moment.