Hmm...  a journal entry, eh?  Not quite sure what to say here... or even if this thing works.  Let alone if anyone out there will read this.   Let's just start with a basic confession: I love sex, and I like it rough.  I have had fantasies about being raped ever since I a girl.  Of course back then, those fantasies were pretty tame.  Mostly being captured by a villian who would tie me up and keep me in his dungeon where he would, G, try to kiss me!  As I got older the fantasies became...  how say I say it..  more graphic...  The more I think about it, the more I realize that my rape fantasies pretty much follow a basic pattern: I'm out and about...  It's night...  I'm alone...   and I find myself in a bad situation...  and then one or more (usually more) tough looking guys show up and start getting into my person space, then they start trash talking and insulting me, then they start touching me and pushing me around.  Naturally I resist and try to get away, I usually am able to run away for a bit then they catch me again.  after that, they usually rip off all my clothes, hold me down, and have there way with me...  The specific details change, but that's the basic formula...    We'll see who reads this... Catch ya later, subMeghan

I am tired of let people in....  I feell stupid for trusting.  I'm tired of finally letting my walls down, opening up and to someone who has such a special and major important role in my life.. only to be discarded at the slightest change of mood.  People just don't care what it does to a person.  My feelings.. matter.. I am who I say I am.. Some people want to just form a judgment and assumption of me unfairly and to disregard my truth because they find some created idea in their mind to be more legitimate.  So they pick manufactured fiction formed by their imagination... over the facts and truth from the source.. yeah.. that makes a whole lot of sense huh..   I think I need to learn that if someone wants to believe the worst about me, then they were looking for an excuse.  I just want to say these men who message me deep and all acting like they care for me or my well being and like they have my back and talk to me every day and block me over nothing??  Please do not put me through this and play games with me.. Please.  I have been through enough and you have no care for the emotional hell and self loathing and mind fuckery you leave me to stew in..  My mental health matters and there is no need to lead me on and let me drop.  I need to keep putting myself out there to find the right one for me, but the fallout from the disbelief and hurt and confusion.. It makes me feel an absolute fool for believing someone who seemed genuine with a real interest in me..  That's a mind fuck.  My psyche cannot keep taking this kind of unfair and immature mistreatment.     Please... I just want someone real, for once.  Not put on or an act or manipulation.  Just be real.  

The Officer's Seduction The night had a certain allure, a seductive darkness that seemed to beckon Seraphine Vale as she drove home from work. It was well past midnight, the hour when the world slept, and the roads were nearly deserted. Her shift at the art restoration studio had been particularly grueling, and she longed for the solace of her own bed. Little did she know, this night would offer a different kind of solace, one that would leave her breathless and trembling.   As she navigated the familiar route, her thoughts drifted, contemplating the intricate details of an ancient painting she had been working on. Seraphine's mind was a sanctuary of quiet concentration, her focus unwavering until a sudden flash of blue and red lights snapped her back to reality. She slowed her car to a halt, her heart pounding against her ribcage as she realized she had inadvertently strayed into a speed trap.   The officer who approached her vehicle was a striking figure, his tall, lean frame cloaked in the authoritative uniform of a police officer. It was Lucian Asterian, a man whose reputation preceded him, though not in the typical way of law enforcement. His dark, piercing eyes seemed to see right through her, and his presence was both commanding and unsettling.   "License and registration, please," his voice was deep and clipped, carrying an undertone of authority that sent a shiver down Seraphine's spine. She complied, her hands treming slightly as she handed over the requested documents. Lucian's gaze was intense, almost predatory, as if he was studying her, not just her papers.   "Step out of the car, Miss," he ordered, his voice laced with a hint of something that made Seraphine's stomach flutter. She hesitated, her mind racing with questions, but the command in his eyes left no room for argument. Slowly, she opened the door and stepped onto the deserted road, the cool night air caressing her skin.   Lucian's eyes roamed over her, taking in her slender form, clad in a simple black dress that accentuated her delicate curves. His gaze lingered on her face, noting the stormy gray eyes that seemed to mirror his own intensity. "Hands behind your back," he instructed, his voice now a low, seductive growl.   Seraphine's breath caught in her throat as she felt the cold metal of the handcuffs against her wrists. Lucian's touch was firm, his fingers grazing her skin as he secured the cuffs, sending a jolt of awareness through her body. She stood there, vulnerable and exposed, as he circled her, his eyes raking over her like a physical caress.   "What's a beautiful woman like you doing out here at this hour?" he murmured, his breath warm against her ear. Seraphine shivered, her body betraying her as she leaned into his touch. Lucian's hand slid down her arm, his fingers entwining with hers, and for a moment, she felt the warmth of his palm against her skin.   Then, without warning, he spun her around, pressing her body against the hood of her car. The cold metal was a stark contrast to the heat emanating from Lucian's body. He leaned in close, his lips brushing against her ear, his breath hot and intoxicating. "You're a naughty girl, breaking the rules," he whispered, his voice a husky purr.   Seraphine's heart was racing, her body responding to his words, to the dominance in his tone. She felt a rush of wetness between her thighs as he ran his hands up her sides, his fingers kneading her soft flesh. He squeezed her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her hardening nipples through the thin fabric of her dress, eliciting a soft moan from her lips.   "You like that, don't you?" he growled, his voice thick with desire. "You like being touched, being taken right here on the side of the road." His words were a taunt, a challenge, and Seraphine couldn't deny the truth in them. She nodded, her eyes closing as she surrendered to the sensations coursing through her.   Lucian's hands moved lower, his fingers dipping beneath the hem of her dress, tracing the lace of her panties. He teased her, his touch light and teasing, making her ache for more. With a swift motion, he tore her panties away, leaving her exposed and wanting.   "Please," she whispered, her voice hoarse with need. "I want..."   Lucian didn't let her finish. Instead, he gripped her hips, pulling her back against his hard length. She could feel his erection, straining against his uniform, as he positioned himself at her entrance. Without warning, he thrust forward, claiming her in one swift, brutal stroke.   Seraphine cried out, her body arching as he filled her, not with the gentleness she had anticipated, but with a rough, primal urgency. He pounded into her, his hips slamming against her buttocks, his hands gripping her hips tightly, leaving marks on her skin. The pain was exquisite, blending with the pleasure until she couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.   "You're so tight," he grunted, his breath hot against her neck. "So fucking wet." His words were crude, but they only served to heighten her arousal. She wanted to be used, to be taken by this man, in this moment, in the most primal way possible.   Lucian's rhythm was relentless, his body a powerful force driving into hers. He reached around, his fingers finding her clit, and began to rub in time with his thrusts. Seraphine's world narrowed to the sensations he was eliciting, the feel of his cock buried deep within her, the roughness of his fingers against her sensitive flesh.   "Cum for me," he demanded, his voice a harsh command. "Let me feel it, you beautiful bitch."   His words were like a trigger, and Seraphine's orgasm exploded through her, rippling waves of pleasure that left her gasping and trembling. She cried out, her body convulsing around him, her juices flowing freely as she climaxed. Lucian's own release followed swiftly, his cock throbbing as he emptied himself deep inside her, his hot seed filling her ass.   They stood there, panting, their bodies slick with sweat and the evidence of their passion. Lucian's hands released her hips, and he stepped back, his eyes never leaving hers. Seraphine felt exposed, vulnerable, and yet, there was a sense of power in her surrender.   He reached down, uncuffing her hands, and then, without a word, he adjusted his uniform, the bulge in his pants a testament to their encounter. Seraphine watched, her body still humming with pleasure, as he walked back to his patrol car.   As she slid back into the driver's seat, her dress in disarray and her body throbbing, she realized the detour had been more than just a chance encounter. It was a night that would forever be etched in her memory, a night where she had been taken, possessed, and left wanting more. As she drove away, the road ahead seemed brighter, as if the darkness had illuminated a new path, one that led straight to Lucian's door.

well it's was a Friday night and I had to go to a talk, in town, once there I was sitting have a bite to eat and a drink when a woman came over sat down she said are you here for the talk tonight I said yes , she said you will enjoy my chat too, she ordered a drink and said she was staying here for the weekend and while we chatted she stroked my cock till I was nearly cumming in my pants. The bell rand the conference was about to start she said take my key and I will see you afterwards, she gave me her key the conference went on for an hour when it finished I went to her room just as I was to enter another woman stood ne to me she said am here to get you ready Mistress demands total submission, I was a little confused . But once naked and cleasned inside and out , placed in a short maids uniform blind, and a penis gage locked on all fours on the bed. Mistress arrived placing her ass in my face she removed the penis gag and pushed back I felt the first of six different cocks fill me . And cum. When I woke up I was locked in chastity and she said you are now my bitch . get use to not cumming till your full of my cock

  I keep putting off posting here but a few people keep reminding me so here’s a bit of an update on my life.. As my profile and prior journal entry says, I’m owned (full time and live-in) by a couple and part of their household. This position is a lot different than my prior ownership position but I was expecting that. I function as the alpha in the household but I’m inexperienced in that position so it’s been a steep learning curve. They have great faith in me and my potential so who am I to question that? ;) The household is much more steeped in the harder core end of the BDSM spectrum. And by that I mean that it’s not just an occasional role play type thing or the D/s “lifestyle” thing with inane rule lectures or protocols and such. Well, to be fair, my prior ownership situation was similar in that way too but I was also in college at the time so there was a lot of time spent out of the house in the vanilla world. In large part, my decision to take on the position was because it was a more edgy and realistic situation than the more mainstream “lifestyle” stuff I’ve encountered. I suspect this is going to get horribly hacked up here so I'll leave more until later...  

I am not ashamed to admit that this morning I was in a Neil Diamond mood. I have weeks where I am singing Cracklin' Rosie all day. Not so much lately, hence the need. I have my favorites and the songs I skip over. I play Forever in Blue Jeans twice. So I am driving to work, merging with people who don't know how to merge, and a song queues up that I would normally skip over. But I was clueless merging so I wasn't paying attention. And then I hear the words. Far. We've been traveling far. Without a home. But not without a star.  All of the sudden I start tearing up thinking about how people left everything and everyone for an unknown, optimistic opportunity. And the song goes on.  Free. Only want to be free. We huddle close. Hang onto a dream.  At this point I am full on ugly crying with red rimmed eyes, sniffling, trying to see because I'm driving around a bend, and I'm coming up to the parking lot a red rimmed, sniffling mess. Deep breaths. Composure. Skip Heartlight today and for all eternity. Head into work. Tell me it's not just me? If you say I'm hormonal I will deck you. 

Are there straight , masculine,  professionally successful men that would willingly be committed to become a slave/submissive in a FLR TPE relationship ?   I am earnestly curious to know if those type men exist out there. Most RT inspections I have chosen to set them up as dates. Quite interesting to see who's willing to be who they say they are and quite literally go the distance and drive/fly to get a chance to serve at My feet.  the princes pretending to be submissives and only desire is to be charmed, woed and courted as a vanilla Woman into submission tickle Me.  Please do not have issues with who you say you are, or attempt to charm or win Me over while pressing the breaks. Sort out your issues (age, status, financia ones, logistics) before even attempting to message Me.   "thank You so much for meeting me yesterday. You are truly charming and a Woman who knows exactly what She wants - and that is a dream come true. You are of course also very beautiful and desirable as a Woman - quite delicious actually!" Last compliment from a slave. Who after dinner cowardly simply just walked away. Smart move, rather disappointin still.   

I was asked to mentor a friend. I felt honored and delighted. I have been asked to teach technique before, but have never been asked to mentor someone. We had a fairly vague subject matter, but we set a weekly meeting time (with alternating location so as to split the driving burden) and met and discussed various topics over the course of a few months. We only missed two weeks - one due to my family emergency that erupted shortly after she arrived at the house, the other due to a scheduling conflict. Next week is probably our last session and I am dismayed at the prospect of our regular meetings coming to an end. She is a smart, dynamic, powerful dominant and now an even more empowered wicked top. I can't wait to see what she does with all the knowledge I have conveyed. She is every bit my equal, albeit less experienced in these techniques, and I am hoping we'll do some collaborations in the future. I'm proud to know her and even prouder to claim her as my mentee. I don't like the terms student, pupil, or apprentice as none of these are accurate to our relationship. As this chapter closes, my first experience as someone's mentor has been a very positive one. I hope any future dynamics are as rewarding. ~Ms. Elorin

I can't believe it's been more than 6 months since my last journal enrty... Let's get started with my usual public declaration: I am subMeghan. Right now, as I type this, I am completely nude wearing only my glasses and my dog collar... Recently I've been playing around with ChatGPT and for fun, I asked ChatGPT to write a blog entry for me about BDSM collars. Afterall this is COLLARSPACE.com!!!! Here's what ChatGPT wrote.  I was impressed!  What do you guys think?   Welcome to SubMeghan's Picks, a blog written by Meghan - a woman who loves BDSM and experimenting with different types of collars. Collars are a popular item of BDSM gear and can be used to symbolize ownership, humiliation, and control. In this post, I'm going to discuss five different types of collars and the pros and cons of each.  Dog Collars: Dog collars are my favorite type of BDSM collar. They are typically made of leather or metal and are often decorated with spikes or other adornments. Pros of a dog collar include the fact that they are durable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they are commonly associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they are not adjustable and can be difficult to fit properly. Spiked Collars: Spiked collars are a great way to add a bit of edge and danger to your BDSM play. Pros of a spiked collar include the fact that they are adjustable, making them easy to find the perfect fit. The spikes can also add an element of humiliation as they can be used to cause pain. Cons include the fact that the spikes can potentially break the skin if not used properly. Leather Collars: Leather collars are a classic choice for those who want to explore BDSM. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and come in a variety of styles. They are also a great way to add humiliation, as they are often associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they require regular maintenance to keep them looking their best. Choke Collars: Choke collars are often used in BDSM activities, as they can be used to control or restrict a partner. Pros of choke collars include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation and control. Cons include the fact that they can be potentially dangerous if used incorrectly. Posture Collars: Posture collars are designed to restrict the movement of a person's head and neck. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used to force a person into certain positions. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they restrict the movement of the head and neck. Cons include the fact that they can be difficult to fit properly and can be uncomfortable to wear. No matter which type of collar you choose, it's important to use safety practices and to discuss expectations with your partner before engaging in any type of BDSM activity. With the right precautions, collars can be a great way to add a bit of excitement and humiliation to your play.   Until next time... subMeghan

There is alot going on in my brain last few days.I going to order a fan to go in my living room for comfort for me. B asked why I don't put my portable a/c in but it restricts my wheelchair from movement so that will have to be in my bedroom, like under my craft table. Out of the  way of my chair.   I told B I am going to start working in my craft room to make room for my wheelchair to get around. It is obvious when I wasn't here they used every room as a catchall.It makes me discussed but I will clear it up as much as I can when I am up.She used to clean but she has stopped that too, so I am going to start doing what I can. If it means gets getting a light wgt shop vac I will do it to keep the floors clean, it is just gross here and I hate it. She won't bring in my commode and my crutches because she doesn't want me to hurt myself, well I am sick of what I am having to do, and hearing her complain, I even have a bedpan she won't use for me. She is trying to make me into an invalid,and I refuse let that happen. Since my son  cut ties with  me she has gotten super lazy.

She will spend her days at home nude … She will sleep in a cage unless she is being used by me at night. She will cook and clean and keep my home immaculate. In public she will dress slutty and be on display. She will call me Master in private and Sir in public. She will be very flirty and sweet to every man and boy. In public no bra or panties. She will exercise daily in the nude. She will shower daily as needed and shower with me every day. She will keep her body perfectly smooth and shave often. She will sit nude at my feet when I watch tv. She will speak to me in third person at all times and accept punishment when she makes errors. I will attach a permanent collar that she cannot remove, engraved with my name. I will have a tattoo placed on her left thigh, near her pussy. The letter “O”, for master obsidian, so all will know she is my property.

Yes, I have been on this site for a bit. I am looking for the slave that is best to meet My desires. I am looking for long term and live in, when it happens. I do not expect instant match and move. I want any relocation to be permanent and good for both of Us. I hope you have watched the show Big Bang Theory. Living with Me is similar to living with the Sheldon character. At least in the aspect of I get what I want from a slave living with Me. If that isn't you then we will not work well together. I am open to one offs and play dates and such. So feel free to reach out for that also.

I had a very hot experience yesterday where a 69 year old very strong in shape older man gave me a very hard punishment spanking for having dirty thoughts about dressing and being like a girl for older men.  I had to wear just pink panties and call him Daddy.  He used his hand and a hairbrush.  He also had a wooden paddle and and bath brush which honestly scared me a little as my punishment continued. He thought we should stop shortly after I actually started crying.  He was very stern with me and he stopped periodically to lecture me. The first time he spanked me on my panties at a moderate level of pain. After he had me take them off he began to spank harder random slaps and then 20 on each cheek which hurt so much. When I stood to get my lecture he told me we were just getting started because I was a bad gurl with bad thoughts and I needed to be punished for it. My heart was racing and I was thinking omg! Each time I went back over his knee he spanked me harder.  I obediently did as i was told and spread my legs apart and arched my back so he could see my sphincter and balls as he would begin slapping me very hard. I cried out louder the harder he slapped. at one point when he was asking me what thoughts i thought about i touched myself he told me not to touch my clitty and pushed my hand back to my side. As I continued again to explain my fantasies I tried to touch myself again without thinking and he swatted my hand away and said get back over his knee.  He spanked me hard with a hairbrush and i started crying. My clitty was hard and my nipples were hard as i maintained my submissive position legs wide apart over his knee elbows on his bed. Thankfully he thought i had enough before the bath brush or paddle! Maybe next time. I posted a pic of my bruises today but it was bright red when he finished. He rubbed lotion on my bum cheeks and anus and between my legs after.   I'm such a bad gurl!

pet store (3/3) you smile again and wipe your wet fingers on my face. "first, take off your shirt and clean that mess you made." i hesitate for a moment but pull my shirt over my head and start to lean down. "on your knees, and i want that ass up. in fact," you pause dramatically, but i know that tone of voice and shiver. "put the shirt in your mouth, hands behind your back, and clean." i don't hesitate this time, and i put the shirt in my mouth. i'm still holding my new collar in one hand, and reach my arms behind my back so i can grip it with both hands when i spread my legs and lean forward. half my focus is on cleaning my juices off the floor, and the rest is on making sure i'm displaying myself well enough for you. my clit is throbbing from the exposure, and all i can think about is how badly i need to please you. when i finish cleaning to your satisfaction, you order me to stand, but you keep the shirt in my mouth and my hands behind my back. "now," you tell me, "you can either put your filthy shirt back on or i can use it to tie your arms behind your back and put those tits on display. you can choose." i think for a moment then hand you my shirt and the collar, before turning and presenting my arms to be tied. you pull my arms back, thrusting my breasts out further, and tie them tightly. you trace your fingers lightly up my arms and over my breasts, making me shiver as my nipples harden. you pull me back against you and kiss my throat, but your hands continue down my body and slip back under my skirt. one hand holds me still and the other goes right for my clit. you hold me against you, still pressing soft kisses to my throat as i come undone in your hands. you stop before you can push me over the edge but keep holding me still while i suck your wet fingers clean. when my breathing starts to calm, you push me forward. "let's go, babe." as we approach the register, the man working here looks me up and down and smiles. i stumble, having forgotten that we weren't alone, but you keep pushing me forward. we're not heading straight toward him though- with your hand twisted in my hair you steer me toward a display case full of different types of dog tags. we stop in front of it and my eyes meet your reflection's in the back of the case. i don't need to see myself to know that my cheeks are flushed and my lip is swollen from biting it, but i look anyway. i barely recognize the slut i see looking back at me. you bring out the collar we chose and now i can't take my eyes off your hands. i watch them open the collar and fit it around my throat, and when they close the collar i sigh, letting out a breath i hadn't even realized i was holding. i'm staring at myself, transfixed, barely breathing, for a minute before my eyes meet yours again in the mirror. "thank you, sir." you hold my gaze as you pinch my nipples and smirk at me. "we're not done yet, my slut." you keep playing with my nipples with one hand while the other drifts down and under my skirt again. "pick a tag," you tell me, and begin to finger me. you're much rougher this time, bringing me to edge and barely letting me catch my breath before starting again. without my arms free to brace myself, i'm shaking just from trying to stay upright. the only thing keeping my knees locked in place is the knowledge that if i fall to the floor, you'll leave me there to writhe and beg. i shake my head to try to clear some of the cobwebs and pick a dog tag, but before i can speak you stop playing with my breasts and slip your fingers in my mouth. i can see you laughing at me when i can't hold back the whine, but i quickly forget about the dog tag anyway. you do this a few more times, until my whines are turning to screams. the next time you remove your fingers from my mouth to start the cycle again, i immediately shout, "the heart! the heart tag, please, please, the heart!" you wipe both hands clean on my breasts, giving my nipples an extra tug when you do it. i don't remember it happening, but at some point in this you pulled them out of my bra so now they're fully on display. when you're done, you reach out to grab the tag, then push me toward the cashier. i look down, not wanting to see what this man thinks of me right now, but you push me right up to the counter. "tell him what to engrave on the tag, baby." i whimper but don't speak, and your hand comes down hard on my ass. "daddy's little slut," i say in a very small voice. another slap. i say it again louder. another slap. louder, and with a please. another. another. another. you stop after i shout, "please, please engrave my dog tag to say daddy's little slut!" you rub your hand over my sore ass then push me forward, until i'm bent over the counter with my legs spread. "miss?" the clerk asks, causing me to instinctively look up at him. he grins. "can you spell that for me?" each letter comes with another hard slap on my ass. after "daddy's" and "little" you finger me again roughly, bringing me to the edge. after the second edge, i brace myself for another slap, but it doesn't come. instead you grab me and turn me so i'm on my back and spread my legs wide. "you can cum when you're finished, is that clear slut?" i gulp. "yes sir." your hand comes down hard on my oversensitive pussy. S. L. U. on the T, your slap lands directly on my clit and i scream as the orgasm overtakes me.

SLOW AND EASY   Looking for the strength and depth of penetrative flow   A kiss that melts me and opens the faucet of pleasure and warmth   Your hands run over my body and I feel your intent of premeditated lure   The arch of my body signals you to proceed   Enter I crave you with every breath   Thrusts of euphoria and the pounding of waves allow me to erupt    COME ON SHOW ME MORE!!  

Goddess' appetite is insatiable.  No matter the number of slaves Goddess owns She always wants more. Those who wish to experience My Glory here should approach and find themselves fulfilled in worshipping Me. Until then, Goddess shares Her Dreams. Fifty new girls, all beautiful and complete, were collected for a ritual.  All to begin their life in eternity as Goddess' slaves.  The ritual a conpetiton.  Goddess sits upon Her Throne, radiant.  In purple leather boots with straps and buckles and heels, purple leather calf length dress worn black stitching, animating venomous creatures that are My pets.  And a black corset highlighting My FigUte. The initiates were given little guidance.  Do not wear leather.  Do not wear black or purple, except if in rainbow.  Do not wear boots.  Otherwise dress in a way that reflaspects your submissiveness and in a way to please Me, which are quite varied.  Each initiate approaches on her own, first crawling, head low and unable to see Me.  Then when told to stand, to be inspected.  Ogled.  Desired.  to walk slowly to My Boot and show devotion with a heartfelt prayer of thanks.  And then to be settled on My Lap, to make out for 90 seconds.  Such joy for the initiates to be used. each is graded on their drEd's, approach, prayer, and kiss.  A lesser goddess would surrender to lust and orgasm after four or five sessions.  For Goddess it is but foreplay.  Building My Inevitable and Insurmoutable Love.  All fifty are broughy, kneeling, relaxed.  Hopeful to be the one chosen to warm My Bed.  My wife on a leash at My side.  No trace of jealousy.  Joyful that I take joy in cucking her in adding lovers.  she sets the example for all to follow. My Boots echo across the stone floor as I walk amongst you.  All heads bowed.  A few I touch.  On the neck.  Or hair.  or breast.  Since you are Mine, Intouch asI wish.  And you touch Me, even see My delicate painted toes, only when I allow.  It oleassMe how many quiver as My fingers trace patterns of joy on your bodies. inneach hand a marble is placed.  Unseen.  then as I sit on My Throne yet again, palms are open.  44 black marbles.  One pinis  four red.  One purple. i call the girl with the purple one to My Side and affix a purple leather collar, diamonds spelling out beauty, on her neck.  She is the one chosen.  No one is disappointed.  All pleased their sister gets to bring Me sexual pleasure. but Goddess is greedy. one girl is never enough.  My wife places red collars on four necks.  Gives each a kiss.  They too will come to MyBed.  But first, they will take 11 girls each and lock in black steel.  Confined for the night.  Able on to hear My Pleasure from the next room.  Each are kissedso they learn what others have done to please Me so that they might improve.  They are told nothing about whether they can oleasure themselves, though their hands are bound, during the night, except that the Will report 0,1, or more than 1.  The girl in pink is told to monitor their safety during the night. She had the lowest score, and so has the most menial tasks.  But a task of joy in service to Me none the less. whole the girls with black were being confined, Goddess took the chosen to her bed, and went down on her.  For Goddess loves the thrill of discovering your body.  Making it sing for Me. When the other four come, the room is alive with passion.  All must fill Mine until I am spent. Five new lovers.  In the morning a tangle of limbs.  Exhausted.  Content.  Then shown by My wife to their new room they will share, sisters.  A final step for the other forty five.  Each black collared slave girl is given a soft kiss, told their new role as maid or chauffeur.  Each is asked for their number, 0, 1, 1+.  Each answer is stored and welcomed.  A tool to help Me shape and mold.  Then the pink collared slave is fucked in front of them all, to show that even she has value, sexuality.  There is no chastity here. it matters not to Me whether you ire to be a cherished lover, wearing a purple collar, an occasional bed made, wearing red, a servant wearing black, or a caretaker of slaves wearing pink.  All have value to Me.  All are beautiful to Me. lexi and demon will wear purple for sure.  Others have earned red.  Some have chosen black, which pleases Me. Worshup.  Be the best you can be.  Shower Me and lavish Me woth attention. Confess to Me your greatest desires and fears and hopes and dreams and let Me share them with you.  Give Me your sexuality to play with, holding and releasing at My Will.  Find your color in My Realm.  ire to the heights that you wish for.  There is no shame on wanting any of the colors.  For you are all beautiful  There is one more.  Gold.  Goddess will in time have more than one wife.  I cannot wait to give out the second, though it may not be in this mortal realm.

NEW CRUSH ALERT!!!! Michele Morrone from the 365 days movies   I'm cheating on my Winter Soldier   LOL

Yesterday, Thursday: 15/08/2024 Dear Diary,  MY day begins at 10 AM, just as I like it—on MY own terms. I wake up knowing that the world is MINE to shape, and I take MY time easing into the morning. MY routine is deliberate: a workout that awakens MY body, followed by a long, hot shower where I let the steam clear MY mind. As I prepare for the day, I’m already planning MY moves, each one purposeful. Dressing for the day is a ritual, even when I’M working from home. Today, I chose something comfortable yet powerful—an outfit that reminds ME of the strength I carry. Before I head to MY home office, I check MY phone, smiling as I see the messages from MY submissives. They know what pleases ME, and today, I’VE received a few thoughtful gifts—tokens of their appreciation and respect. It’s a satisfying reminder of the influence I hold, and I allow MYSELF a moment to savour it. MY home office is where the magic happens. As a web designer, I create, innovate, and build. The morning is spent in focused work—crafting designs, and connecting with clients. Even though I’M not in a traditional office, MY presence is undeniable. Every email, every project, every call reflaspects MY vision and MY control. I love knowing that MY work drives success and shapes the online world. I’M in charge, and it feels exhilarating. In the afternoon, I switch gears to focus on growth and giving back. I mentor young black female entrepreneurs, helping them navigate challenges and harness their strengths. Empowering others is part of MY power, and I take pride in guiding them. Their progress fuels ME, just as much as MY own success. As evening falls, I pour MYSELF a glass of Hennessy and dive into the course I’M developing. This project has been months in the making, and tonight, the ideas are flowing effortlessly. The warmth of the drink, the satisfaction of creating something meaningful—it’s a perfect combination. This course will be a game-changer, and I’M excited to see it come to life. The night deepens, but I’M energised. I’M building something incredible, and I know it. When I finally wrap up, I feel a deep sense of accomplishment. I’M not just a woman with a career—I’M a force, shaping MY world with precision and pride. As I lay in bed, I reflect on the day. I’M proud of who I AM—strong, confident, and in control. The gifts from MY submissives, the success of MY work, the course I’M creating—it all reminds ME that I navigate this world with grace, power, and a touch of indulgence. Tomorrow is another day to conquer, and I’M ready. This is MY world, and I own it.   BLACK GODDESS xx

Another day, another thought... It is a hot one in NYC - 92 degrees F/33 degrees C. Surely there needs to be some ice cream. As the owner savours hers under the shade of the umbrella on the lounge chair. The near naked pet dutifully eats its share from her feet. She is in a breezy tube top summer dress with tropical print. It is only wearing metal cuffs around its wrists and ankles, a collar that connaspects to a anal hook, and a cock cage with chains tethered to the owner's lounge chair. It is licking and sucking fast to make sure that not one bit of that ice cream runs off of the owner's white polished toes or small feet as the consequences of wasting the owner's kindness will be dire. Then... Wouldn't you like to know. ;-) 

the perfect scenario in person for me as a little girl submissive, a paragraph.         it would be in person and old school where i'm at home maybe working 4 hours tops and he provides the majority i honor worship and am in awe of what and who he is. i have no problems kissing his feet praying for him following his lead and know he's the safest man out there so he can touch me whenever he wants and i can trust him to make the decisions

As I stated in my profile, I'm interested in creating a relationship deeply grounded in a mental, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and sexual connection which includes, but is not completely defined by, a D/s dynamic. - I believe in equality of individuals but clarity of roles. - I believe both Dominant and submissive are servants in their own way.  - I believe friendship, mutual respect, a common view of life, and common goals are the foundation of any long-term relationship. - I believe kink, rough sex, and exploring limits can be fun, but more importantly are a workshop for developing trust and understanding. - I believe communication is absolutely paramount, and requires both parties to value clarity and truthfulness. And don't say you can't communicate because you're an Introvert; I'm an INFP (if you're into the whole Myers-Briggs thing). If we're considering a relationship, I'll not make Dominant-type requests of you prior to reaching some common understandings and agreements. Our initial meeting - or meetings, until you reach a level of comfort with and trust in me - will be a date, not a test drive. I am first and foremost a gentleman until it is no longer appropriate to behave strictly in a gentlemanly manner. I'm primarily a Mentor/Teacher/Daddy/Sensei type of Dom. Don't assume from that, however, that I am either unwilling or unable to be extreme should extreme be called for.

Surviving Dead by Daylight:   In the shadows, I roam, chased by dread, In "Dead by Daylight," where hope hangs by a thread. Heart racing, I evade, my breath but a sigh, Survivor in this twisted game, never ready to die.   Through the fog and the fear, I must find my way, Trapped in this nightmare, where I cannot stray. With every heartbeat, a killer draws near, But I must persevere, conquer my fear.   Pallets crash, windows shatter, as I make my stand, Against the darkness closing in, in this cursed land. Alone or with others, we fight side by side, In this deadly game where survival is our pride.   Generators hum, a beacon of hope in the night, Guiding me towards dawn, towards the light. Though hunted and haunted, I refuse to yield, In "Dead by Daylight," my fate is sealed.   So I'll run, I'll hide, I'll do what I must, To escape this fate, to rise from the dust. A survivor, a warrior, in this never-ending fight, In "Dead by Daylight," I'll cling to the light.

The amount of people submitting payment requests for preorders on FYF is comical. ROFL Just to be sure, Ive been sending out the necessary releases to My people enmasse so they can be prepared for all possibilities.  Honestly, ya'll have Me laughing-snorting with how serious you take Me. Its inspiring and hilarious. Onward and upward. Applying to Me is not a walk in the park.  You have to jump through the hoops I set for you and you may never understand why I do what I door how I do or when I do.  This part is not about you getting it...it is about Me getting what I want in order to assess your ability to serve Me and Mine for life. Think rabbit hole, think nude, think entirely enslaved.  Then you might come close to what I am thinking and what I am looking for. Be sane, be real, be someone who can share in a telephone conversation, be someone who can move between worlds - or decidely be an object in My menagerie - still sane & real.

drama at home :( mom turned her back on me and gave me an outcasted look earlier today all for her hubbys aproval... however i know shell do anything in the world to give my little brother a "fauther" exp. even it mean Xing me...  in the end i cant hate her for what shes doing but dang .... talk about a shotgun round to the heart :(    big empty hole needs to be filled .... lol get it.    im very loyal and honest to the bone probably the nicest person youll ever encounter however dont get misslead ... i totally love to push my envolope and live life on the edge... ive expirienced and expiriemented with a lot in my opinion ... please dont ask... "" what kinda exp do you have -_____-"" just fill in the blanks as we conversate ... ... im ALL go with the flow so more then likey i dont know what im doing next week so idk if id be available or intrested in meeting you.. i know im not always on here but im ready for my next chapter and willing to give a special someone all of me to mold into their perfect being :)note im intrested in heading out to Texas, NY or socal(home) however not a deal breaker im just as intrested in nearly anywhere on the east or west COST!! more inland .... ehhh but will consider of course :) if your intrested drop a message anyone who takes a chance on me wont be disappointed. oh ps.. NO Flakes and for gods sake picture please .... 

Good evening you beautiful, wicked, sharp eyed deviants. I’m writing about this in case some of you have not yet heard about this disgusting behavior, because silence is where predators thrive. A major investigation has exposed what many are calling an “online rape academy” hidden forums, chat groups, and websites where men allegedly trade advice on how to drug, assault, film, and violate their own partners while they sleep or are unconscious. Let that sink in. Not strangers in alleys. Not monsters in masks. Husbands. Boyfriends. Men sharing beds, homes, and trust. These spaces reportedly included users swapping tactics, selling so called “sleeping liquids,” sharing videos of abuse, and even livestreaming assaults for paying viewers. It is predatory, calculated, and evil using internet anonymity. Let me be crystal clear for those in kink and BDSM spacesthis is not BDSM. This is not dominance. This is not edgy play. BDSM and kink are built on a foundation of consent, negotiation, trust, communication, boundaries, and mutual respect. Without consent, it is not kinkit is abuse. And with some of the disgusting, vile profiles I have personally come across on FetLife, I am sure some people with those same mindsets are here too. Please be careful. Vet people thoroughly. Trust actions over words. Listen to your instincts. No scene, no dynamic, no amount of charm is worth your safety. Women are taught to fear the dark street, the lone walk home, the stranger behind them. But too often the danger is already inside the house, smiling over dinner, saying “I love you,” then treating consent like it’s optional. This is why consent matters. This is why believing survivors matters. This is why calling out misogyny, coercion, and “jokes” about assault matters. Because that culture feeds these places. If this is happening to you, or has happened to you, please reach out immediately. Call local authorities. Contact a sexual assault or domestic violence hotline. Tell someone you trust. You do not have to carry this alone, and help is available. I’m sharing this so more eyes are open, more people stay aware, and fewer predators get to hide in shadows. Spread this. Talk about it. Protect your people. Check in on your friends. If someone tells you something felt wrong, listen. To every predator hiding behind a keyboard your secrecy is cracking.Stay dangerous to systems that protect monsters. Stay soft with survivors. Stay loud when silence helps abusers. Myst

automatic dishwasher Ingrid Bellemare from her book "Owning and Training a Male Slave". “Having a slave is like having an automatic dishwasher: set it up and make it do the work. It is there to serve your needs. If something is not working right take corrective action until it's fixed”    

By believing that submission must be pursued, to any degree, is to reframe dominance and submission as a typical relationship and its not. Dominance doesnt pursue. Submission doesnt need to be pursued. Submission comes to dominance in this dynamic. It has to. Submission is given, won over even, but the same goes for dominance. As much as she must be convinced by his dominance, he must believe her submission meets his needs or can be molded to do so. What remains is the initial approach, and it is simply ego on the part of the submissive to believe what she offers is more important, more valuable and harder to come by, than what he offers. Consider how many suitors a submissive no doubt has flood her inbox here, how many obvious frauds, bullshit artists, misogynists, egotists etc that she has cast a dismissive eye over. What happens if/when you find one that calls to you? Will you wait in the hope or expectation he will approach, or will you decide to present to him? Of course, this probably explains why the place by my side is empty and I have to fetch my own pipe and slippers. Such is life.

November 4, 2024 @ 4:35pm  Hello Everyone,  I understand this profile is a little confusing to some, let me clear things up for you all.I will always be an Domme first, then second I am an Alpha submissive only to Sir Silverback G which is my life partner. I hope this Clears up any confusion. Have a wonderful Morning, Evening, Night.  SG 

So journals are back! Giggity! I remain frustrated in seeking out anyone who can discipline me, use me in whatever way they wish and break down my barriers by simply forcing me to confront them. Where would I like to be tonight? I would love to be between the legs of a dominant, serving them...servicing them, swallowing what they want me to swallow, sucking what they would have me suck, licking what they tell me to lick. All night... And when they were sated, satisfied and had used me in exactly the way they wanted, they could reward me...or they could choose not to. They could give me release...or they could refuse. They could drive me right to the edge, or they could put me away with nothing until they were ready to have me again. They would be completely in control. Their satisfaction would be my goal and my reward their choice. It could be a woman...it could be a man (a man would be a new experience and another barrier broken down. I do not care...it's not mine to care, only to lick, suck, swallow and bend over.

Hotel from a sluts POV   We check into the hotel and as we are standing at the desk you brush your arm 'accidentally' across my nipples which are swollen and tied sticking out under my top being constantly rubbed and I'm trying to hide them as I know they are really visible. The reception definitely can't see my swollen tied clit or the sink plugs in my arse and cunt that are stretching my holes right in front of her but she can see in my face that I am slightly flushed and breathing a bit heavily. I wish she would type faster!  Finally we have our key. You tell me to walk ahead of you to the lift, I know this is so you can watch me on my heels in my tight skirt trying not to walk like a Slut full of cock.  We are in the lift alone and you take advantage of the time to rub over your handy work on my tits and cunt making me shake and cry out. And Cum inside myself. Unable to release it because of the plug. You smile at me and laugh at how ruined i am tonight. Already begging for you to fuck me.  In the room i stand in front of you with my hands on my head and my legs apart and wait for my master to tell me what to do next. You stroke over my body and sharply pull my nipples, bringing me round from my drift and then sit me down firmly on a chair in the corner and opening up a bottle of champagne that is on the desk. I am wriggling in the chair, trying not to moan out loud with the anticipation and my holes open.  You pour us a glass and turn around and sit on the sofa opposite and tell me to crawl over to you. I slowly crawl across the room my nipples rubbing on my shirt my clit rubbing when I move my legs because it is so swollen. I get to you and you tell me to kneel...  You lift me into your lap by my nipples making me get tears in my eyes and roughly hold me by the neck sideways on your knee...  With your free hand you pass my drink and tell me to drink it I am thirsty from breathing hard and knock it back. You put the glass down and spread my legs and tap on the plugs in my holes staring into me while I beg you to open me up and touch me inside....  You pull the sink plug out of my cunt tube leaving it held open and poke up inside me so I can feel the tip of your fingers deep in me but nothing where the tube sits making me really aware that I am gaped....  I can hear myself begging... Please Master, fill me up with your fist and cock I need it so much. .... then I feel a bit of a lurch and sway into you, I can still hear myself begging and moaning but everything is getting a bit weird and I realise, as I pass out that you are telling me that when I wake up I will get what a Slut deserves......  I don't know how long I am asleep.  I come to hog tied.  It is dark so I am blindfolded  I can't hear anything except my own heart and inner voice.  My mouth is now plugged like the other holes.  I wonder how this going to go!

The Constant submissive   A submissive isn't only submissive in the presence of its Owner. A submissive isn't only pleasing by request or demand. A submissive doesn't light up only when The Dominants gaze brushes its skin.  A submissive doesn't feel safe only when melting into its Dominants web. A submissive is Owned always. The Dominant safeguards it in Their thoughts at all times. The Dominant is the encouragement behind its success. The Dominant is the wanton desire that flames its skin. The Dominant is the rock and warm embrace that keeps it safe. That whisper in its ear that makes it smile.  That secret memory that makes it blush. A submissive isn't submissive only in the presence of its Owner - maybe because The Dominant never really leave the subs side.

I crouch in the dim light, low to the ground, my muscles coiled with anticipation. My heart beats with the thrill of the chase, yet no footsteps follow, no predator’s growl answers my call. I’m a kitten playing in the shadows, batting at a love that slips through my claws. You, so distant, so untouchable, are the prey I’ll never catch—the storm I’ll never tame. The air is thick with the scent of longing. I arch my back, purring softly, an offering of submission, a plea for connection. But the silence stretches between us, sharp and cruel, like the edge of a blade grazing skin. I reach for you in my primal way, a growl in my throat, a playful swat, a desperate leap. You stand still, unyielding, unseeing. I ache for your touch, even if it stings. I crave the thrill of being hunted, the satisfaction of surrendering to you, the sharpness of your love cutting through me. Instead, I am left to prowl alone, circling a void that offers nothing in return. Every glance you give that doesn’t linger, every word spoken without weight, slices through me deeper than any knife. In my dreams, you are the hunter. You snarl, you chase, you pin me to the earth. Your teeth graze my neck, and I surrender willingly, body and soul. But reality is a different kind of pain, one that gnaws at me in quiet moments. You don’t see the way I tremble for you, the way I offer myself with every arch of my back, every purr in my throat, every unspoken word. The shadows are my companions now. I curl into them, licking wounds that refuse to heal. I am the kitten you’ll never chase, the prey you’ll never capture. Still, I remain here, waiting, aching, caught in this endless edge between desire and despair, loving you in the dark where you’ll never look

Hey everyone!  subMeghan here... As always, as required by my dom, I need to announce to you all that as I type this I am naked wearing only my dog collar... Just a quick journal entry.  My dom and I just finished an awesome puppygirl session and I have been informed that I was was a very good girl!  Yay!  Now my dom has decided to reward me and is using a vibrator on me right now.. He thinks it would be funny to watch me try and type as he is pleasuring my pusssy. However, he said I can't cum until I finish this journal.  He is watching me type this and laughing at me.  Good thing I have spell check!  Ha!  I am not allowed to speak to him, if I want to say something to him I must type it here. My dom says to tell you if I'm a horney slut.  Yes, I am a horney slut!  Please my I come? He says not yet.  Damn!  he has turned up vibrator. he knows what i like/  He says type louder.  OK, I AM SUBMEGHAN I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I AM A SUPER HORNEY SLUT!  PLEASE MAY I COME NOW, SIR!!!!!! nO?!?!  WTF!  pLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT TO CUM SIR111 ok.  yes sir i'll say that, then can i cum?  my dom says show everyone that your a dumnb cunt and bark like a fuckng dog.  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  STUPID SUBMEGAN IS DOG!!!! i am barking thank god, ge says i can come after i say goodbye.   bye

Football Player experiences the Milking Machine October 30, 2023 - Football player experiences the MILKING MACHINE Football player came for a visit. And it's been quite a while. Quite a while since he has visited, and QUITE A WHILE since I have written a story. (Sorry, I've been both busy and lazy) Oh my God his visit was absolutely incredible. He got here at noon and left at about 2:00. He messaged me around 11am and said he would stop by at noon. By the time he got here I had been watching porn and had a nice hard on. Probably the last three or four times that he got here he wanted to suck my dick but I couldn't get hard because of a new medication my doctor had me on. I did not have that problem today, I was as hard as a rock. He was sucking on my dick for a few minutes and... Continued on http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace

Some fellow in late Dec 2021 posted a Journal entry: "I see a still-surprising number of profiles which, in summary, go something like this:  'Fuck you in advance for wasting my time, because you are all fakes and losers, and also, I'm lonely and looking for someone, so please respond, but respond pretty fucking carefully.' " Rings true, but my own personal reaction to too many profiles (and more than a few journal entries on this site) can perhaps be summed up very briefly as: "What you say about others might well be true; but how you say it, speaks volumes -- about you." Gosh, that even rhymes, and with equal number of syllables.  On the positive side, it's a sort of Public Service Announcement, that "how it's said", alerting others (including even those of us looking just for friendship at this time) what style  to expect (sooner or later) if we make contact.

My Experience/Play History i have engaged in casual play with 4 mistresses, one session each. Two had no idea what they were doing, and couldn't seem to decide what to do next. Those experiences were deeply unsatisfying. The third apparently had no interest in anything but beating me, which She did with brisk enyed it, but there was nothing else. No training, no rules, no laying the groundwork, no teasing, no nothing. The last was skilled, had a very commanding presence, and went about Her work with energy and direction. Even though it was a brief session, it was quite thrilling. Unfortunately, however, She was all but impossible to communicate with regarding expectations and scheduling and suchlike, and after two weeks of trying to get together again, i gave up. i often regret this. en regret this.   0 loves

Hey, guys. Just so you know, this ain't my first rodeo. I was experimenting with S&M activities long before I was legal, or had actual sex. And so I call BULLSHIT on your "D/s is mainly mental" blah, blah, blah. A solid D/s relationship is a 3 legged stool of mind, body, and spirit. Each leg is equally important, and MUST be equally developed in order for there to be balance and harmony in the power exchange relationship. This is not optional, and you don't get to change the D/s laws of the universe just because you live 3000 miles away, or are trapped in a boring marriage. Mind. BODY. Spirit. For a masochist, one of these things MUST take place in person. So regular face to face meets are NOT optional. Smacking myself online while you watch does NOT count. And if you live more than 100 miles away, I'm not driving, or flying, to your place every week. It is what it is.

I moved to NH around a year and half ago.  I grew up here but lived in the Pacific NW for 30 years.  I returned to be a caregiver for my mother after my father died in 2020.  When I first returened I put some effort into finding a Dominant Women to serve.  I was unsuccessful and eventually my commitment made it impossible to continue that search.  So for most of the past year I have just lurked here, looking at profiles and contemplating what could be.   I now find myself without commintment and wish to again search for a Dominant to serve.  I am free to live where I choose though I have many loose ends here to deal with.  I am looking for an intelligent Dominant who enjoys the mental aspect of control and who is looking for someone who is ready to learn how to be that which they wish.  I am healthy, intelligent, creative and in good shape.  I am financially secure.  I enjoy being service oriented and wish to please my Dominant and make their life easier.  I enjoy travel and learning new things.  Helping others and being a good first mate to my Captain.   I welcome any correspondence and will also be initiating contact with the profiles I admire and dream about.  I hope every one has had a great 2023 so far and who also has not lost hope as to what could be.

 I am at a point in my life where I have no interest in games. I’m searching for something real, something that can grow and prosper into a long-term, real-life Female-Led Relationship (FLR). I’m not looking for online fantasies or time-wasters. I am looking for a man whose passion for submission and surrender matches my passion for Dominance and control. I am a beautiful, bossy woman — confident, and unashamedly powerful. I know what I want, and I expect a man who knows how to follow direction and take pleasure in service. A man who can worship a woman’s power, not just admire it from afar. Fitness, discipline, and intellect are important to me. I keep myself in shape and expect a man who values his health as much as I do. I enjoy travel, fine dining, exploring cultures, and curating experiences that delight all the senses. I live a life of freedom and choice, and I am willing to share that with the right submissive man who earns his place by my side (and at my feet). The man I’m looking for should be respectful, self-aware, and able to balance strength with surrender. Emotional support, companionship, and intelligent conversation are just as valuable to me as physical service. You should be well-mannered, attentive, and serious about building something real. My tastes in kink are wide-ranging — Bondage, CFNM, tease and denial, chastity, worship, CBT, strap-on play, humiliation, and more — but my greatest pleasure comes from a submissive man who focuses on my enjoyment first and finds fulfillment in pleasing me. If you’re truly serious,  and understand the difference between fantasy and reality, then send me a message. Be prepared to introduce yourself properly and explain how you intend to serve and grow under my direction. Only quality men who crave a real FLR need apply.

It's the down days, with the beating sun and the drawn shades, keeping the outside out and the inside in...the days where the tears finally grab hold and the tissues are everywhere. It's the days where one pm could be 10 am or 730pm and none would know, for i remain alone, always alone. My friends are few and far between. My heart landed on the curb and i keep waiting for someone to pick it up and hand it back, though i know better. It was stolen and now it doesn't fit in my chest anymore. So whenever i breathe the sound is like an empty drum for the beat does not even echo. The hurt is like a neon glow in the dark super ball that just bounces from surface to surface, so i can't quite steady it, or myself. It's still light outside. My watch never made it to my wrist. And luck flew like a hummingbird, out of sight. And the man i love...cannot love me. So i sit and pretend that once upon time i was happy and once upon a time i will be, again.   zamarra/aka eslavegirl 7/14/24

Property.  Noun. 1. A thing or things belonging to someone; possessions collectively.  2. An attribute, quality, or characteristic of something.  I, am property. I don't always behave that way, but I should, because that is what I am. Master is a saint for how much patience he's had with me. Property doesn't have a say or an opinion. No voice, nothing. Change is not easy for me. To my brain it signals that there's a threat, danger, or that my world is going to be upended. I don't really know what to do with change, and abrupt change? Forget it. My brain either goes into full meltdown or fight mode. There is no in between. To be calm during changes means a meltdown later. Because I'm only calm outwardly. Inwardly I'm screaming for something to be the same, anything. Even a small thing. Master is that one thing. When my brain is screaming, he's there, steadfast and strong, unyielding and sure. I am his property. I don't get a say anymore. But I do get protection, care, and a Master who has always been there since day one. I'm property. A thing. His thing. Whenever, wherever, however he wants. His.  I am not looking for a response to this. I'm posting so that I can come back and read it when I need to. 

Just a note — I'm probably not going to gel very well with other sub trans girls, but I'm happy to share pics and chat about our desires, so please don't hesitate to contact me if you like what you see in my profile.   Also, again a note for trans Dommes — I like Mommy Dommes who know that D/s goes both ways. I will happily fluff your ego and make you feel great about yourself if you can treat me like a baby girl who needs pampering, attention and love just in the same way. I will be as obedient to you as I can without doing anything immoral or illegal, of course, and I'll flatter, obey, pump up your ego, and be sweet and submissive to you just like a subbie baby girl or DMlg sub should be.   Same applies if you're an exceptionally good Daddy or Mommy cis Dom/me. I see so many selfish and egotistical profiles from most Dommes which are a huge turn off — the lecturing about throwing away your ego as a sub will work out long-term when you're ready to throw away your female or male ego as a Dom/me, and realize that you're serving your subs needs like they serve yours. They're your priority too, and you need to make them feel good about themselves serving you if you want them there forever. A young and horny boy or girl will serve you to get their needs for some sexual satisfaction fulfilled, but they'll be tired of your galaxy-sized ego saying that you're always right and they're always wrong just because of your relationship dynamics.A similar idea for subs: Please don't ever neglect the need for aftercare for Dom/mes too. They need it as much as you, and they're probably less confident, powerful and in control than you think. It's still a roleplay in a sense, and they have the same doubts as you about their performance. Before or after you get confirmation from them that you were a good boy/girl, be sure to puff up and stroke their egos too and tell them how you loved serving them, that they're a great Daddy/Mommy, etc. Please use your imagination. If your owner isn't good at communicating this back, be sure to ask them for an ego boost and validation as well. Don't stay with them if they become selfish and demanding, though, this is not a one-way street. You have valid needs and you need to ask for them to be fulfilled, too.

Master's WritingsFoundations: The Ethics of SadismThe ethics surrounding sadomasochistic play are perhaps among the most important in all of the BDSM community. I constantly see posts from masochists searching for a "Real Sadist", someone who knows what they are doing and they can trust. And why shouldn’t they, in this realm, we are often talking about genuine pain and the potential for real harm. Yet I continue to see those who call themself by the title, who operate without a code and believe that sadism is nothing more than a license to hurt another person. Thus, the need for a code and identify the ethics behind the title.Up-front, any attempt to identify ethics must include basic standards such as:     Both parties being of minimum legal age     Both parties being competent to legally consent     All physical and mental health considerations of both parties have been made known     The nature, depth and limits on the activities have been previously agreed to by both parties     Consent of the bottom has been given to the activities discussed without any form of duress, coercion, manipulation or barter     and finally, that safewords or some form of safeguard communication is in place that stop or pause play as necessary Beyond the basics, however, I believe that the ethics of sadism must go beyond that. It must include a dedication to perfecting one's skills and knowledge of the craft long before you ever raise a cane, a commitment to know your bottom to a depth beyond normal play so that you possess a clear understanding of what they want and why they want it and an absolute mandate that the Sadist never brings their outside emotions, such as anger or stress, into a scene (if you are made at the world, no bottom should pay for that). Additionally, it must also include a dedication to maintain a constant awareness of a bottom's capacities throughout any scene.But the real point of the ethics of Sadism lies in the commitment to maintaining all of these beliefs and values during the heart of a scene. It is easy to be ethical before a scene begins, but as the tempo rises, as the pain threshold lies within reach, being ethically strong enough to not get carried away in the thrill and glory of the moment is an ever present challenge. It is there, in that moment when a Sadist must lean into their ethics and remember their responsibility for a bottom's safety, the commitments you made about the scope play, and the dedication to not get sloppy with either technique or intention. In the heat of the moment, you walk the fine line between pleasure and pain, ecstasy and injury, but responsibility requires a strong ethical core to keep your bottom safe and deliver wisely on the gift of the experience you deliver.For me it is the connection I make during play, either physical, as in touch, or verbal, as in checkups, communication and listening. Connection helps remind me my bottom is a person. A person who has placed their body and experiences in my hands. It humbles me and reminds me that without ethics, I am no better than a monster with a whip. It is the ethics of Sadism that keeps me human and allows me to call myself a sadist with a clear conscience. 

What am I seeking?:A strong, dominant male. No older than 50ish. Someone who can have decent conversation and whom is intelligent. Someone who is preferably a Daddy Dom but who is also stern & strict when needed. Also, someone who isn’t focused solely on sex. Why? Because this lifestyle is about way more then that. I also am not interested in someone who only uses sexual things as punishments. That has never made sense to me. I want a friend, a companion. I need someone I can trust and build a bond with. Once again, I am not looking for a sexual based dynamic. Sure, sex is great and all but that really isn’t what the lifestyle is 100% about. I’m not looking for someone to control sexual aspects of my marriage, I keep the two things separate as best I can. I do good with rules but of course not all sexual rules. I need help remembering to take my meds, do my chores and such. About me:32, West Virginia, I tend to identify as a sub/kitten/little. Meaning I kinda wear many hats. I need a Dom who can appreciate all sides of me and not make me shove one of them aside. I’m not abdl at all, that’s not who I am as a little.I want someone who wants to get to know me as a person, a friend and a sub.

Tonight I took my wife to her Master's house. We often stay overnight and weekends at his home as he lives alone. My lovely wife as occasionally stayed with him on her own. Tonight we had arranged that she would spend the night with him on her own. I find this so erotic and I have a hard on pretty much the whole time she is away. Tonight he had arranged a special treat for us. He wanted her to stay over night and told me that he had a special friend who would be also staying with them. He knew that I would be extremely excited as we had spoken about this previously. When we arrived his friend was already there. He introduced him over a glass of wine although I chose coffee because I had to drive home.  After a some banter and laughs her Master decided to get the proceedings going and ordered my wife to take her clothes off. She was told to give each item of clothing to me and I had the job of folding her clothes up and putting them into a bag. It was very horny watching her undress in front of two men. I knew Master had seen my wife naked many times but watching his friend stareing at her was a real turn on for me as I'm sure it was for him too. As she  stood there looking gorgeous in just her bra and knickers I almost cum as Master told her to remove everything to the delight of his friend who had not said a word up till now. He watched with a smile on his face as she obeyed her Master an unhooked her bra handing it to me before removing her panties. He told her to put her hands on her head and stand directly in front of his friend. "What do think of her"? he asked him "Beautiful" he replied, "absolutely beautiful and very compliant" "I told you" said Master. "You have my permission to touch her" he said knowing that him giving another man permission to touch my wife would humiliate me further.. Don't worry about her husband" he saoid, I am her Master and she answers only to me, she is my submissive slave" he explained. Deliberately humiliating me he told me it was time for me to leave. He told me to take the bag with all her clothes in it with me as she wont be needing them. He said he would call me to return with them once they had finished with her. I don't know how I managed to drive home. All I could think about was my wife alone and vulnerable and stark naked with two men.

Appears i am a permanent chastity sub/slave.  Locked 842 days as of 01/20/22.   As the sub, it’s a turn-off to see a sub-cumin during play.   While important both enjoy the scene, it’s all about the pleasure of the Dom.   An exception to “enjoy” is a discipline      The scene is about Dom’s pleasure and the sub should focus on them.  

The Show Doing a scene in front of a large crowd of people can be intimidating for the uninitiated.  Not for me.  Sometimes, however, a small group of people watching can be just as fun.  Over time, I began to not care how many are watching because I just wanted to do a scene and go home and have incredible sex.  I heard through the grapevine that one of my favorite dungeons was going to host the play party for a big leather convention in town.  Event parties are normally held at the hotel ballroom of the venue. And so it was a big deal that a local dungeon was chosen to host the play party.  The dungeon owners had a lot riding on the success of the event.  If successful, the convention would always have the play party there which made a lot of money on entrance fees. I normally skipped these parties because they never had the equipment I needed to do my scene and so  I was excited that they were going to have it at the dungeon instead.  I was looking forward to a big crowd.   A lot of my friends were going to the party and I was looking forward to seeing them as well.  Since CS has a character limit on journals, I’m going to post a series of journals describing the incredible scene I did that night.    So please stayed tuned. 

Mixed emotions today. Lastnight was the first real munch we have had since COVID where everyone in our bdsm community was present. Not a real BDSM play event as usualy. Mostly friends catching up, conversation and casual sex.I was laughing with Goddess Tabitha when Master William put his arm around me and started to fondel me. I got tense and Goddess reninded me to know my place. He took me to the couch and he used my body for his pleasure. I don't know what is troubling me most, the fact that another man used me without Master James looking on or the fact that I really enjpoyed him using me. My orgasm was shattering both physically and emotionally. Master James stroke took him from us months ago, but I still feel unfaithful even though he and Goddess Tabitha have always aloowed the men in our group to use me for their pleasure. Just when you think your heart has healed.....

So many uneducated to kink, fantisizing boys out there. Apparently they hover like lost gohsts waiting for their versions of heaven. They have no clue how to actually meet a Domme. Time wasters, taking up space trying to fill in their cookie-cutter cartoon figure of the leather clad evil queen who will not make any trouble after they are satiated. Huummm, wow, thats a ProDomme, Not one of us everyday, living the lifestyle women.  A  fairly insightful post on the FetLife site. A suggested read fo all subs. https://fetlife.com/whytheydanced/posts/12285859 . Also look up 2KinkyWomen.com poscast. Episodes 12,42,44. The other podcasts are good for overall education. Good luck to you all. Read the profiles a couple of times. Actually live close enough to drive to Me. Otherwise, do not even bother wasting both of our time.  H  

  For all you fellows out there griping about not getting replies, "even if it's just to say no thanks", understand that we (women) often get tons of messages on these sites, many or most from guys who are sending out copypasta to every woman on the site, without bothering to read a profile first.  Yes, it only takes a minute or so to reply to ONE message, but multiply that by dozens of messages per day, per site. And then there is the fact that the majority of our, "No thank you", messages result in then being insulted, harassed, going from being beautiful and desireable to being a fat, old, ugly bitch, whore, cunt, and worse, and often threatened with being beaten, raped, killed, doxxed, etc... All for the crime of a polite rejection to some random dude in our inbox. So, instead of assuming that you are ENTITLED to a woman's time and attention simply because you messaged her, how about you read profiles before messaging, only send a message if it does not violate any boundaries listed in said profile, and is not asking for or offering things she does not specifically say she is looking for in said profile, and makes an effort to treat her as a human being, rather than a sex or fetish dispenser. And then, if you don't get a reply, take that as she is either busy and will get back to you when she has time, or she is not interested, without getting all pissy because she did not reply to your unsolicited message. Also, unless you reply to EVERY unsolicited email, phone call, junk mail, etc. that you receive, with at least a polite, "no thank you", then you are a hypocrite for expecting such of others who did not ask you to contact them.  

Guys be like, “men are visual creatures.” Ok sir, than why do you look like that? Maybe a lotta fellas don’t have mirrors at home. I had to be honest with a male- co worker yesterday and explain to him that a lotta times the women THEY WANT, that don’t want them, might not be due to their financial status. A lotta times us women might not find you physically attractive (men never wanna consider this). Although your grandma and momma been telling you how handsome you are your whole life (they’re supposed to BTW) That doesn’t mean that women who you cross paths with on a daily basis look at you and think,“yea, I’d like to feel his penis inside of me, or be romantically involved with him”. This explains why it’s some not financially stable men that stay with a fine ass Boss Chick. Some men can get outta prison Tamar and be living with lawyer in her water-front condo & driving her Benz truck within a week. Women probably look at him and immediately get the, “oooouuuu shit affect” aka “a lady boner”. Believe it or not us women see fine ass men and can get erect too. Women’s erectile response is similar to men’s. Except internally, our clitoris swells like a penis. Our vagina’s become lubricated and expand in length and width. Some of you just don’t have the panty dropper affect on the women “YOU WANT”  As much as they talk about women, Many men haven’t kept themselves up. They don’t work out so they’re shaped like a bag of laundry, AND MY GOSH WHEN THE LAST TIME SOME YOU HAD A DENTAL EXAM?? And overtime this has disqualified them from the free coochie list. I know it’s hard to hear, but for some of you…THE WOMEN YOU DESIRE, don’t look at you and wanna F***.

My mind wanders   and where I am in my head in a given moment may not be in a particular space or focused on a particular thought. A lot of the time I'm just absorbing being, breathing and living in those few seconds of being alive. Other times I'm visually and physically absorbing being in Daddy's presence so that if the day comes that his circle of life has completed and my time hasn't yet come to join him, my mind will relive these magical years, months, days, hours and minutes of our priceless endless love. The power and strength of our individual selves is potential and possibilities that may or may not be realized. The roles we assume as Dom/Master/sub/slave without one another is conceptual fantasy and unrequited desire. Together we are fortified and the conceptual, fantasy and desire are lived and experienced. Our personal chemistry has been altered. More than a high from the natural dopamine we create for one another. We're in eachothers blood, in the air we breathe, and all that sustains us to be alive. There is nothing worth experiencing if I'm not sharing it with my Master. Loving and living to serve my Master/King/Life partner.

What if being a subbie is not about sex? WHAT if being a subbie is about holding the hand of the man she cherishes as he dies slowly over 14 months. When he can't be the DOM he used to be. When he needs her to help him use the bathroom or eat or simply sit with him for the whole night, playing him Viking music. THERE is nothing he can do for her. There are no floggers or commandments to 'kneel'. All the hundreds of hours of kneeling are done in the Catholic Church by her, praying for his Atheist soul to have a peaceful death, which he did have. Brain cancer is one of the worst ways to die and he did not feel pain, right to the end. She offered G-d her life just so he would not go to hell...she cried and cried and cried...on her face at home alone, in church, in the street, in the bus, while cooking and cleaning she lamented and weeped till it hurt her to breathe.. for his soul. So what is a subbie? I get these messages asking me what I WOULD DO FOR YOU IF YOU WERE MY DOM. Do you want me to help you use a bottle in the hospital to relieve yourself? or change your wet clothes because the nurse is too busy? or walk 3 miles to buy your favourite biscuits? Do you want me to continue living nearly even when my money runs out months before your life runs out, so that I stop eating for 24 or 48 or 72 hours so I can keep living nearby, losing 16kg and not caring. Do you want me to be berated by your mother because she thinks I am weak and pathetic and flaky and not a strong woman and I take it and take it and take it, because it means I can be near you? Do you want me to wait until you die before I think of 'moving on' as you have been telling me to do for 4 years, but hoping that I will not? Do you want me to be indifferent to the criticisms from others for not getting over you, long after you stopped making love? Do you want me to keep on talking about you even when they are stripping your flat of your belongings and kicking me out and you are still not even in the ground but in a cold fridge somewhere? Do you want me to cry into your puffy jacket as I smell deeply your faint smell...almost gone but my body knows and remembers...? Do you want a slut and a cunt and who knows how to beg for sex or do you want a woman that will lie on your grave and wish it would swallow her up so she can be close to you? Do you want 'until death do us part' or do you want her to offer her body and life and blood to G-d in exchange so that you can be redeemed?  Do you care what she is going through, the pain that is ripping her heart from her chest, if it just means she will stay available until the day you die and beyond...? Do you? Do you? Or do you think you are invincible? Do you think you are the BIG MAN who will always be there for her? Do you write notes and stick it to the fridge saying you will always have her back, and it turns out you cannot fulfil your promise? Do you think you can replace her the way you replace a car because she does not have the 'options' you wanted and you think you can upgrade, but found out you could not? Do you wish you had not rejected her because she got fat and instead had helped her lose weight? Do you want the perfect barbie out of the box, and not someone who has flaws and mistakes in her? Do you tell her off all the time for the tiniest mistake she makes until she is wracked in nervousness but keeps on loving you, even when you get cancer and cannot walk straight or use your phone and need her to turn the key in the door? Are you a prick and should of stopped treating her like a cunt? Do you know that you missed the whole bloody plot of what a slave is...that she is at your feet, devoted like a dog to its master, and you could not see the tree for the woods.? Do you imagine the perfect slave is pretty so as to impress your mates but do not see that the perfect slave sheds tears at your bed that only you see fall? Are you too busy planning the fantastic life you want to have and wonder if she is good enough to be your partner in these great schemes, but years after she has left, she is the one you send a message to when they find a tumour in your brain? Are you humbled by your own downfall and she is the one who supports your 205 meter /150kg frame with all her might so you do not fall over like a tree that has been felled? Do you? Do you? Do YOU? Are you in a fridge somewhere, waiting to be lowered into the ground and you let down the slave that was at your feet, even when you sent her away and told her to find another Master...and she tried, oh she tried, and they all told her she is flaky.... and you look down from your disembodied soul and cannot wipe the tears from her eyes as she cries alone in your flat...? Are you sorry? Are you? Did you wish you were less angry with her for not closing the curtains properly and less angry with her for tripping when she could not keep up with you on the pavement, and less angry with her when she dropped the shopping? Do you wish you had not read so many bloody forums about slaves and subs and wanted the cut-out of the perfect little version and could not see that a slave is human like you and old and fat and not a barbie? Do you wish you saw that she has a heart that bleeds for you? Do you wish you had given her some lovin' and a cuddle instead of punishing her with chastity and never told her why because you are a bastard? Do you wish you could go back to 2017 when she arrived at the airport in total trust and you could do it all again? Do you wish you had known then what you knew now? Do you wish you knew she was the last women you would ever enter and feel that warmth wrap around your cock and cling to you and tell you she loves you? DO you? DO YOU? What if you could go back 9 years and tell yourself she was the last one? What if you could go back and be more gentle when she arrived and not have a list as long as your arm of all she was supposed to do to PROVE HER WORTH? Do you wish you knew that she would prove her worth not in the beginning but in the end...when the cancer had eaten your brain and you could no longer talk or walk or hold up your head but she was there, holding your hand? DO YOU? and what if...what if you could tell all the pricks and bastards out there to WAKE UP and smell the roses! TO appreciate the imperfect little slave in their life. TO let her know she is cherished. TO stop beating the crap out of her emotionally each time she makes a mistake but instead mould her through love and not rules...OH BUT YOU WOULD NOT, WOULD YOU...not if the other blokes thought less of you...no you prefer to send her away and pretend you did not, and that she left because she had somewhere better to be than at your feet. You would lie to everyone but SHE KNEW AND SHE KNOWS and she still came back as soon as you made that call from the hospital saying ' I need you'. She came, just like you knew she would. She stayed just like you knew she would. She mourned and weeped and pleaded with G-d, just like you knew she would...and when you died...she is turned out like the useless bitch that she is, because you never told anybody that she was more valuable than gold...They throw her out with the trash because your ego was bigger than your love for her... and she will say mourners kaddish for 11 months like a widow even though she is not even considered your girlfriend... yet all along she was your slave...and slavishly loved you in a way you did not deserve. The very last thing you said to her when she leaned over to kiss you to whisper how beautiful you are and she loves you was to say 'I am not worth it'. THE LAST HONEST CONFESSION OF A DYING MAN. You lost your ability to speak in the days that followed and could only hold her hand and hold her gaze and hoped she understood how sorry you were....

I thought stepping away for a bit would give some of you time to think about what you actually want. Not the fantasy. Not the oversexualized idea you’ve built in your head. But what you truly desire—and whether you’re capable of participating in it in a real, grounded way. Instead, I come back to the same pattern. Too many messages. Too little awareness. So let me make this very clear. My hard no’s: 1. Entitled, attention-seeking behavior.If you think you deserve my time simply because you showed up..you don’t.If your version of “submission” is performative, reactive, or rooted in insecurity, I will dismiss you just as quickly as you arrived. 2. Dominants (beyond friendship).I already have aligned energy in my life. I am not looking to add to that.If you don’t fit within the world I’ve built, you won’t be invited into it. 3. Unrealistic arrangements.Let’s be adults.I’m an established woman with multiple businesses and a full life. I’m not looking for a roommate, a project, or someone trying to fast-track access to my space.Real connection is built over time—with intention, not convenience. 4. Fantasy vs. Reality.What I am is not a costume. I am a naturally dominant woman. I’ve led, directed, and held authority long before this had a label attached to it. This is not something I turn on and off, and it’s not something I perform for entertainment. So approach me with that understanding or don’t approach me at all. I’m not hidden. I’m not confused. And I’m certainly not here to play. I’m a real woman with a real life. If you want to exist anywhere near it, you’ll need to come correct. Submissives only.  Now get it the fuck together. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

What I seek, what I need, is for someone to take me and absolutely crush me...break me down completely, physically, mentally, sexually...push my boundaries. Bend me over, take my ass...fuck me hard. Talk to me, tell me how you're owning me, tell me what you're going to do to me. Call me names. So often I see BDSM porn where the "slave/sub" is completely into the "torture"..."oh yes, more master/mistress! More!" and that is so far off-base from what I seek. I shouldn't want it. Ideally, you've broken me to the point where I'm doing it to avoid worse punishment. "If you don't do _____, then _____ will happen." I should be dreading it...crying, begging, pleading for my master/mistress to stop. Begging a master not to cum in me or in my mouth. Begging a mistress to stop before I bleed. The earth shattering orgasm should belong to THEM, not ME.I get messages on here from so many straight masters...who tell me that they're going to branch out and that they're into what I seek. Then they quietly fade away. And the search goes on.

Lately I've watched videos of people showing fake food, I've even come across some of it Myself.   But, I also question My life choice coming on this site that is now so full of fake people. They have flesh and bones yes, but no soul, no honesty, half truths, and sometimes just down right lying losers and energy vampires.   I know I can't be the only one knowing this. I hear from men saying the same thing however , they are usually ( not always ) bullsh#ters themselves. Yet here I am, still looking for a honest person is a sea of 1000's. Come on people, DO BETTER !  If your just looking for a play partner, say so.  If you have family,property, work or a business and can't move, say so, better yet don't even write ,unless you will benefit Me. I'm not a needy person, I do well enough on My own. I'm not looking for a certain look, body type or financial status.  I don't give a sh#t.  Just because the world is going a bit crazy doesn't mean you have to. I only want grounded honest people around Me. That's it !  

8-23-2022 Tuesday night.. i took my shower, my daughter was over and left about 10 or 10 30 PM, i had started to feel chilled and for another blanket.. making for 3 blankets i had on top of me! After suffering so long, an hour or two, and developing a fever of 103.6 degrees. i decided i was not waiting until morning, hoping the fever may break overnight. EMS came, one of them ended up being a second cousin!! That was cool to meet a family member. They got me to the hospital s emergency room and i was kept there until 8 AM, i know this because i had to ask if i could get some breakfast while i was in the emergency room. i was diagnosed with an infection in my wound. For those that do not know.. i have two wounds on my back of my right thigh as the result of having lymphedema. The hospital did not say about becoming septic! That has happened, maybe four or more times, in the past. i stayed at the hospital until September 1st when they transferred me to a skilled nursing care facility for further wound care and therapy. i have not been updated with a tentative release date, yet. But it better come soon! my daughter is getting married next month on October 30th!!  Therapy is going very well, they are so happy with my progress. 

Things are ramping up and a little closer we crawl tug tug of that net for one and for all... ******************** Found out Mum has moderate sleep apnea.  40% of alz patients do.  funny thing about amolyoid protiens, seems they only break down during REM.  No sleep, No REM. No REM. No Brain.  70% O2 levels = BRAIN DAMAGE. Seems to Me mandatory health screening for sleep/breathing/bmi disorders need be the call of the day, especially in terms of a dementia diagnosis! Also... What in blazing hell is with ER's with no TV for DEMENTIA PATIENTS!?!   DEMENTIA:  1 HOUR = 1 DAY; 1 DAY = 1 WEEK. 1 WEEK - 1 MONTH 1 MONTH - 3 MONTHS Imagine being denied TV or computer or anytihng which gave you sanity for an entire week in the hospital!  How stable, or rational, or healthy are you? Its barbaric and borderline abusive.  Specialists are needed in the ER, just like for a child, and in terms of dementia for ordering food, diet, entertainment.  To expect a comprimised, handicap person to "entertain" theirselves or to be mature enough to handle the ER is a fail for society. ***************** Best wishes   

11-JUNE-2026 JOURNAL BACKUP . I am on here to maybe make some new friends and talk to some old friends. If you see I have been online but do not reply or I delete your message unread or unanswered  please do not take it personally. Or you can take it personally if you so wish and enjoy the self-mortification. I cannot stop you from experiencing what you are feeling. Sometimes it is nice to come on here and simply look at the scenary and not engage in it... You might even be that scenery..this is just me looking out the window and spotting you..nothing more. My journals are ever changing because my life is ever changing. The impermanent nature of things. (anicca in Pāli, anitya in Sanskrit)  11 June 2026. Lack of WiFi and data and the storms of life colliding, June is picking up momentum rapidly.  I had made many journal entries but could not add them due to the inability to access WiFi all week that allows adult websites. A new photo taken on a sunny day. If you saw me on the streets, this is what you would see.... My eyes down and not visible to you under my big hat. I know the cracks in the pavement in this part of London. My new thing is picking up nuts. 3 in the last week ! Each one useless without a bolt. So I put them onto a ribbon to give them a home . I have had one on my dog tags for the last 14 months. I found it in El's tools when I went looking for one on my arrival here last year. My dog tags identity me should I be in a accident and cannot talk. They will know who is MY MASTER and hopefully call His ghost busters.  As of June 2026, the Storm of El's 14 months battle cancer, and his physical demise still has me in its vortex but as life on the high seas are, this Viking knows there is alway another storm to set my sails against. Thanks to the NHS and their full MOT that storm is part of June.  Let's see what July brings? I have not ticked any boxes. Why you ask? Because it has been so long, and depending on who you are, they mean nothing put of context of what electricity there is between us. It is all hyperthetical. For instance it is of no use to say I like walks in the woods with dogs on a cold winters day and you are allergic to dogs and pollen. And yes, walking a pack of GSD in the woods is a fond memory I have of Africa. I am more sedentary now so a walk in the park looking at pigeons is just as enjoyable.  I am not looking to date anyway. So no need to send a message asking about my submissive traits or telling me to call you sir or use capitals for you and lower case for me. But I do enjoy a good conversation. My journals have created many threads even if we differ in opinion.  And yes, I do wear head scarves when out and about and indoors if it is chilly or it is a certain place.. No, it is not religious per say, as you would think it is. But the reason has something to do with obedience and reprogramming identity. Now that it is warmer, I do show hair or even wear something small like a bandana. If I feel so enclined to do so, I might journal about it one day. I would make one of those audios if I can sort out how to do it. Bisous a vous tous.

Hello everyone...  subMeghan here. As rerquired by my dom, as I type this I am sitting here naked, except for my dog collar and glasses...  what else is new... I had an interesting chat with a user here and I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty terrible submissive.  The problem is that I am a sub for my dom, and only my dom.  I am not your sub.  My dom has directed me to be polite, not submissive, towards you all.  For us it is role playing. So, not only am I not a 24/7 sub, I am not inclined to behave like a sub unless I'm with my dom. So the dilemma for me is, How should I interact with you all?  I've taken the approach that being a sub is like my "job", and that when I'm here, I'm off work.  I'm not working, but perfectly happy to talk about my job. I don't think this approach is working out to well...  and I think that a lot of times my one on one interactions with you all are not satifying. What do you all think?  Should I modify my profile?  If so, what should it say? I'm really interested in what you all think.  Send me a message, and let me knbow what you think?   subMeghan  

I don't use the term fake when describing a person who isn't suitable for Me. A bottom pushing his own needs is off my radar because an actual submissive with five years experience ar giving up authority outside of play and in life who drives his own car, who already goes to munches and clubs is IN my radar. So many on here who contact Me are not suitable so I rarely login here. Guys wonder where all the Dominant Women are? They are not on here for the reason I just gave. Pushy bottoms want a a kink service but don't go to fetish clubs to get their kink fix. There are plenty of tops at fet clubs happy to give twenty minutes of play for a drink and foot rub. Quid-pro-quo, give something in return as two human beings. Simple.  Mistress Whipplash Ma'am   

This success of this site is based on transparency. You're a 52 year old dominant man in Miami who lives for NASCAR and wax play. Super. Got it. In my opinion, the level of effort you put into your profile directly relates to your commitments. It's so odd to see someone say that it takes forever for profiles to update so they take the lazy approach and update a journal entry. Yep, I said it. Lazy. Dom or sub, doesn't matter. You've gone to the trouble of creating a profile to find someone for whatever reason. Now you aren't willing to commit to the effort it takes to update for accuracy. The only effort needed is a bit of patience. Patience to adjust your information. Patience to adapt your description to make you more interesting, or at least approachable. I'll write more later... No, you won't. Someone who might be looking for exactly you is going to pass you by because now you're 56 and moved to Sheboygan but won't update so they'll never see it. You're shooting yourself in the foot. Not that anyone asked me. 

Doors, and the Men Brave Enough to Open Them I need to talk about housing, because the situation has moved from inconvenient to urgent and I have never been the kind of woman who dresses up an uncomfortable truth to make it easier to look at. The burglary destabilized something that was already fragile. The particular violation of having your home invaded, the way it changes the quality of the air in a space you were supposed to feel safe in, has made staying where I am feel increasingly untenable. And so I have been doing what practical women do: looking at options, running numbers, weighing what is available against what I actually need, and arriving repeatedly at the same frustrating conclusion. The budget and the requirement do not currently overlap in the way I need them to. Chicago is not a forgiving market. What I can afford and what my children deserve and what my own standards require form a very specific Venn diagram with a smaller center than I would like. I am not defeated by this. But I am frustrated, genuinely and specifically, in the way that only financial limitation frustrates a woman who knows exactly what she should have and cannot yet reach it. And so I find myself thinking about a different kind of solution. One that lives not in the listings I scroll through late at night but in the framework of the life I am actually trying to build. The truest forms of submission are not always the ones that happen on a marble floor or at the end of a leash at a Renaissance faire. Sometimes the truest form of submission is a man who looks at the woman he serves and says: my home is yours. Come and make it what it should be. Let me provide the foundation and trust you completely with everything built on top of it. That is what I am thinking about. A sub who opens his doors is offering something more profound than service in the conventional sense. He is offering sovereignty. He is saying: I trust your vision, your standards, your taste, your authority over the space we will share, completely and without reservation. He is handing over not just his time and his attention but the most intimate expression of his daily life, the home he lives in, and inviting a woman of genuine authority to take it in hand and make it into something neither of them could produce alone. I think about what that would look like in practice, and it looks like this: I come home from work and from school and from the particular exhaustion of a life I carry with full commitment, and I come home to a space that has been held in my absence with the same care I would give it myself. The children are received. Dinner exists. The household has been managed not because I directed every step but because the man inside it has internalized my standards deeply enough that my presence or absence changes nothing about the quality of the result. The home runs on my vision and his execution and the collaboration between those two things produces something genuinely beautiful. I would be the homemaker in the truest sense: the one who makes the home what it is, whose taste and authority and presence defines the atmosphere and the culture of the space, while still working and studying and mothering and building the future I have mapped out so precisely. Not because I need someone to fund me into passivity, that is not who I am and never will be, but because the domestic load distributed correctly, between a woman who knows what she wants her home to be and a man who has made producing that his devoted purpose, is what allows both people to function at their highest level. This is not a fantasy of convenience. This is the framework. This is what the life I have described across every entry in this space actually requires to function. The architecture of everything I am building has this at its foundation: a shared home, governed by my standards, maintained by his devotion, built around my children's stability and my own restoration and the slow and serious construction of a future that looks like what I deserve. The man who offers his door is not losing anything. He is gaining the most clarifying thing available to someone like him: a woman who knows exactly what to do with the space he has been living in alone, waiting without quite knowing what he was waiting for. I am not difficult to house. I am specific. There is a difference. I know what I am looking for. I know it exists. And I am, as always, building toward it whether or not it has arrived yet.   It will.

For those of you that may want to , but can't really move, I'll say what you probably have heard many times. FIND SOMONE LOCAL.  On the other hand I could use someone remote to help develop a website with lifestyle merch for sale that I have designed myself.  Mainly clothing .  I know I can do 2 things one is get someone else to build it from a place like fivver .  No problem but the  subject  is kind of sensitive so I'm not sure about getting someone else to do it that is outside the lifestyle.  The other thing is to do it myself as I have done sites myself before.  But it's time consuming and I spend most My time designing and marketing.  However I  would rather find someone in the lifestyle to do it even if it means I pay someone .   The other thing I  am looking for is for someone to seriously get me started in crypto.  Not just a statement like " go to this site and sign up" .  I know there is a lot more  to it .  There are courses and some follow crypto gurus to immulate what they do .   I know this is maybe something I'm just putting out there on a limb but if I don't put it out there then it won't be known I'm also looking for that as well as getting someone here fulltime. 

10 Please Join Us DECK THE BALLS Party Let’s make this holiday season unforgettable! Save the date for our Deck the Balls extravaganza. Wednesday december Las Vegas Strip

Phallic Masturbation (Solo) Much of Phallic worship in the West begins with mansturbation  and the misunderstanding  of it at best. Males are made to view their phallus as a source of pride and also shame. Males are made to hide under the pretense of modesty that which nature adorned him with to be the glory of the world. Excitement by itself has been viewed with contempt, disgust, and rejection albeit in public. Nature is full of the glory of phallus and it is the male prerogative to show it in all species except Homo Sapiens. Western societies cannot find a clear cut  (no puede n intended) view of the phallus since it admires it and fears it at the same time. However, those of us who had the fortune of being initiated at an early age in the mysteries of maleness and how to achieve and give pleasure know better. The phallus gives pleasure indistinct of gender, but there is always a dominant preference. The giving and receiving of pleasure through and by the phallus is the aim of these thoughts. When the phallus and the worshiper are giving ritual pleasure is a different scenario to when one is alone. With another male in this case the center is the phallus, its glory, its power to penetrate, expand, and pulsate with life inside the one receiving it. However what happens when we are alone? Are we lost since there is no one to direct our power and mystic union? Not at all. Ritual mansturbation is a beautiful event in and on itself.  The aim is not to ejaculate but to allow the phallus to grow and expand in your hands as you caress and anoints it with appropriate oils and substances that show you devotion. I prefer honey, sweet almond oil, and myrrh. Begin with the testicles, and feel their presence and see them as the repository of power and maleness. Feel each one as you use the oils to enhance the experience. Warming the oils make a more profound effect by allowing the aroma of the oils and your own male scent to rise to your nose. Intoxicate yourself with the aroma and know that it is the same aroma inhaled by those who worship your phallus. Own it, you are as distinct as any other male. As you enjoy your testes move to the shaft and do the same, let the oil, precum, your sweat and your scent intoxicate you. This is not the time for stroking is the time for touching and feeling as my dad taught me. Feel the veins, the skin (if you are uncut, do not retract yet) the shape and feel the unity of the testes and the phallus. Caress as you anoint, smell as you reach the tip and taste your hands; that is your scent signature. That signature is the one anyone who had you keeps in his brain and soul own and know that. Stop, rest, allow you phallus to relax and now begin to stroke with you least dominant hand (right if you are left,left if you are right.) Stroke the shaft, not the head or under it. Let you phallus grow to its full potential and now slowly if you choose you can ejaculate and get the full signature aroma of your phallus. You have reach your solo blis. How can this be wrong?

Sexy contract drafted together with AI :) ---------------------------------------------------- Slave Contract This contract is entered into on [date], by and between [Dominant’s Name] (hereinafter referred to as "the Dominant") and [Submissive’s Name] (hereinafter referred to as "the Submissive"). Purpose: The purpose of this contract is to formalize the absolute power exchange relationship between the Dominant and the Submissive, where the Submissive completely surrenders all personal rights and autonomy to the Dominant. Terms and Conditions: Absolute Relinquishment of Rights: The Submissive irrevocably relinquishes all personal rights and autonomy to the Dominant, granting the Dominant absolute control over every aspect of the Submissive's life, including but not limited to physical, emotional, psychological, financial, and social domains. This includes the Submissive relinquishing all property to the Dominant. The Submissive chooses not to have any safeword, fully embracing the Dominant's control without any limits. Total Control and Obedience: The Dominant exercises absolute authority to dictate the Submissive's behavior, appearance, and actions. The Submissive must wear a collar at all times as a symbol of their complete submission and ownership by the Dominant. The Submissive must adhere to a strict dress code and behavioral rules as determined by the Dominant. Punishments and Physical Conditioning: The Dominant has the right to administer any form of punishment deemed necessary to enforce obedience, including physical punishment, marking, starvation, and any other methods to achieve the desired body size and features. The Submissive accepts that punishment is a crucial aspect of their training and will endure any form of discipline without protest. Body and Mind Modification: The Dominant has the unrestricted right to mold, modify, or alter the Submissive's body and mind in any manner deemed necessary, including but not limited to body size, shape, features, permanent marks, and psychological conditioning. The Submissive consents to undergo any procedures, treatments, modifications, or psychological conditioning as directed by the Dominant to fulfill the Dominant’s vision. Sexual Submission: The Submissive is always available to fulfill the Dominant's sexual desires, including the use of the Dominant’s cock, toys, or other means. The Submissive agrees to receive and endure public humiliation and to engage in sexual activities as directed by the Dominant. Surveillance, Chastity, and Recording: The Submissive consents to constant surveillance to ensure compliance with all rules and expectations. The Submissive will wear chastity devices or any other restraints as mandated by the Dominant to enforce control. The Submissive is required to perform on an OnlyFans account or similar platform, which will be owned and controlled by the Dominant. All content produced, including videos, and all money earned through this account are the property of the Dominant. The Dominant retains full ownership and rights to any films or videos recorded during the period of this contract. The Submissive acknowledges that these recordings may be used or distributed at the Dominant’s discretion without any compensation or objection from the Submissive. Irrevocable Commitment and Termination: The duration of this contract is to be set and agreed upon by both the Dominant and the Submissive before signing. This contract cannot be terminated by the Submissive during the agreed-upon duration. Any attempt to escape or disobey will result in severe punishment at the discretion of the Dominant. The Dominant retains the right to extend, amend, or terminate the contract at will. Transfer and Use by Others: The Dominant has the unilateral right to lend, rent out, or sell the Submissive to others, maintaining absolute control over the Submissive’s fate. The Submissive will comply with the commands of anyone designated by the Dominant without question. Clarification and Interpretation: Any uncertainties or ambiguities in this contract will be clarified and interpreted solely by the Dominant, whose decision is final. Verbal commands and clarifications by the Dominant are considered binding and enforceable as part of this contract. Total Submission: The Submissive enters this contract of their own free will, fully understanding the extent of the Dominant’s control and the harshness of the terms. The Submissive accepts that their purpose is to serve, obey, and please the Dominant in all aspects. The Dominant will not be responsible for any damages, physical or psychological, that the Submissive may incur as a result of this contract.   Signatures: [Dominant’s Name]   [Submissive’s Name]   [Witness or Notary, if required]    

Let's seeee.... okay. Ideal setup    Im looking for someone that is 1000% supportive of me and HRT.  I wish to find a place where I can mentally dissolve who I currently am and evolve into a genuine bimbo sissy trans doll. And yes I used sissy and trans in the same sentence. Is it possible.  Yes. Sissy referring to ones submissive girly play toy. And trans doll as in well. Me :). Petite smooth tight body.  Speaking of body. Let's talk about that.  So apparently I have an exotic one of a kind body .... I know right. Hard for me to believe it too :p. Anywho. I'm very very very great full for having it and would love to put it to use where I can generate climaxual pleasure for anyone. What do I mean by this ... well idk to be honest. But I'd like to have gym access and/or an encouraging person that help maintain the motivation to get as sexy and as feminine as I could get.  Minus the bottom surgery. Yes u read right.  Not going to do any cutting off down there. However. I am open to some body modz to a certain extent. Of course nothing deforming or any such thing. (Please don't ask what) if anything asking if I'm open too.. whatever ur kinky desire is. And I'll let u know if I'd be willing.  Anywho. Um so yes. I tend to be a little high on the kinky side.  Which is a very VERY Vague statement. However let's just say. I really really do truly enjoy seeing the satifaction one get from doing/not doing/ treating or being a certain way with me.  Again very vague not trying to get into detail just showing u the willingness I have to satisfy you. Umm so. With that been said.    I seek someone who will take me in own me collar me and use me for their twisted pleasure.  How far am I willing to go. Ask. Me. But it just how far am I willing to go lol. Ask me how do I feel about this or have u done things like that.  What about if we xyz. . But umm okk so yaw.  Truly one of a kind here. Appearley something very very special. An amazing eye candy. Incredibly smart. I credavly capable of achieving ur satifaction :). I like to be told/force. Made to submit my body for ur pleasure lol. Ummm.    Well yawww. Serious inquires please. I'm ready to purchase a round trip ticket to you.  Where towards the end we'll see if I should stay. Or go. No games no bs.  If ur catfish fake poor hugene ethic or manors I will initiate blan b.  I ask please no hard feeling.  We're all chasing that life we have in our mind  .idk if any of this came out the way I inted as in ur understanding but I like to post genuine articles that flow right. Off the top of my head. I feel its more genuine since there is a not much time to contemplate the topic potentially leading to an influenced decision other the my own  thanks for readjng 

Mhhh dang' had one of the most hillarious and fun session with my new slave🤣🤣Extreme cum denial and edging..Till he started begging for mercy, he is an obedient one though...Well his pathetic cock is locked using the Cellmate 2 ... I have complete control over him, he has no means of escape, and unless i unlock it he can never get outLol am really enjoying this, he's litterally my prisoner

Advice for messaging*It is disrespectful and insulting when someone sends an introductory email which does not mention anything specific about my profile or interact with it at all.  Ask yourself this question.  Could the majority of your email to me be copied and pasted to 100 other people and be just as valid?  If the answer is yes and you send this to me then you have just identified yourself as a time waster.  Do you want me to think of you as a time waster?  Is this really how you want to introduce yourself?*If your spelling and grammar are poor, you are not putting in enough effort.  This identifies you as LAZY.  Some try to excuse their laziness with various reasons but you can always have a friend read what you write or just reread what you type out loud a few times before you hit the send button.  I do realize that some bad punctuation is facilitated by the text editor here because this site strips out most punctuation except commas, question marks, periods, and exclaimation points. Hopefully this will be addressed someday, but till then you can still find creative ways to mimic other punctuation.*But the main form of showing disrespect through a lack of effort is just not typing very many words.  Incomplete sentences, only one sentence, or worse, one word or just a bit of text speak show a lack of effort, interest, and concern.  Many people do not want to communicate over a phone, they only want to type, but then they also are not willing to put in much effort at typing either.  So I quickly find an imbalance of effort as I see the words I type quickly outpacing the other person.  This makes the other person seem uninvolved and unappreciateive of my efforts.  They insist that I type and not TALK to them but then they do not put effort in to type either!Frequently, I find that I spend a great deal more energy and effort typing long messages to people who do not put any effort into what they send me.  Sometimes, when someone does not put enough effort into their messages, I will limit my response back to them.  If all you can offer me is a few words or letters then I will try to use FEWER words and letters than you did!  This will make my messages difficult to understand and if this frustrates you, GOOD.  Now you know how I feel!*On the other hand, if you are willing to put time, and effort to create a polite, cogent, salient, and compelling email which directly references my profile... perhaps by pointing to something specific that I have written and telling me what you think about it, then you can be sure that I will write back to you.

We are unable to accomodate live in 24/7/365 situations or assist with relocation One of us will offer to meet with you via video or in person before engaging in any kink activity.  Both Owner and slave travel fairly extensively from their respective sides of the pond so while geography is not always a challenge, some places will be easier than others. Please be ready to meet us part of the way, be realistic about your abilities and availabilities. Currently we are looking for information about any private outdoor play space locations.  The Owner is also looking experienced heavy bottoms for sharps (needles, scalpel, hooks, and more) and folks into genital torture. 

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

Well, it thought it was heading back to Australia by. February. To spend about three months between. The Gold Coast, QLD. And Sydney. It was invited by another dom to spend time on his horse ranch out there, just to recover and to focus on. Where It need to be, whether the enticement might be to stay, and not go back to the US. Time can only tell. It don't see myself anywhere for some time. So trying to find my feet. So many dominants that don't understand how to really truly have a slave. It's been difficult after It lossing Rosco My PTSD service dog. And then four months under consideration to the rubber doctor. Who turned out to be? Someone that has a lot of issues. And having a lucky escape. It allowed him. To get inside it. To imprint on it. And Royally **** **** it. His clear deions  was mind **** It had a hard decision to make. Wether except the crimes that he committed. And that he was willing to commit further the atrocities. It was hard to walk away from him. Even though, as his rubber slave, he wanted to make it an accessory to his crimes and put it at risk. As a former medical surgeon. In the military. It had a moral obligation. And it own code of honor which conflicted with his to Do No Harm to those that as Surgeon we are there to heal the sick and the affirmed.

Dating economics. Or, how you get what you want. When you consider your dating purchase power, remember that what you value is not always what someone else values, and that what they are looking for may not be what you think you need to advertise.  In my personal case, I am VERY picky about what I want, how I want it, when, why, etc.  My aesthetic appreciation is also rather specific.  My current partner of 13 years offers a wide range of things I enjoy a lot.  He gives amazing hugs and snuggles. (Never underestimate the value of being physically pleasant to touch.) He is tall, and a big guy, so I can feel small and feminine when I'm wrapped up and entangled with him. He's secure enough that I don't have to pretend to be less intelligent or capable than I am. He makes the effort for my pleasure, in bed and in daily life. He is extremely considerate and generous, and tries not to be a hassle, while going out of his way for others. He's smart, and thinks about things, and cares about more than just what's on tv, or what he wants, etc. He's honest, and loyal, and I can trust him with almost anything. He's just a quality human being. While there are things I might enjoy that he doesn't bring to the table, they are obviously not dealbreakers, and well offset by what he does, and apparently he feels the same about me.  And that is what I am willing to have in my life.  Now, I may not be your cup of tea.  I may in fact be a rusty bucket of haunted bog water.  I may be a lot of things, or not, but those looking to purchase my time and energy need to be able to offset any hassles that come with them by more than a narrow margin, because while I'm always up for a good bargain, I'm not hardcore shopping with a need to buy right this second. This means it's a buyer's market when you approach me. And probably when you approach any Dominant Woman. I can take or leave whatever. So if you want to interest me in what you are/have/do, you need to have a good understanding of what I want, and have something to offer that makes you worth giving up the time I could be painting or gardening or crafting, etc to - read your email,  respond to your mail, exchange more emails to get to know you,  talk to my partner about you, make room in my schedule to meet you,  then make whatever arrangements and preparations are required to play. On top of this, the average female experience with a new partner is seldom heavily weighted on the pleasure side, as the average new partner has little idea how to please her, even if they are decently experienced in general and know "how to please a woman" (as if that were a simple skillset that worked for all women.)  Often, an experience with a new male partner is considered good if it isn't actively painful or unpleasant. So the average woman knows going into a new situation with a new male that she probably won't have NEARLY as much fun as the man, and so unless the plan is for multiple assignations, wherein he would then learn more about what she likes to be able to provide it, the motivation to try out a new guy is pretty limited. The expectations are low, and the alternatives may not be fabulous, but they are offset by the ease they bring to the table.  So that is your competition, guys. Not other guys. But our own company. Which means -  if you want to gain my time and energy, you have to impress on me that you have made the effort to learn as much about me as a person as possible, decide that you feel I AM your flavor of tea or bog water, and have thought of something you can do to make all that effort worth both my time and lack of immediate gratification.  If being with you isn't significantly better than being alone, I can just be alone and avoid all the hassles that come with you. Understand - this is not me bragging on being hard to get. This is me explaining what is probably a deep truth for almost any guy trying to get any woman. And absolutely any Dominant Woman.

    Thought for the day. It takes very little to make a person’s day. It also takes very little to destroy it.  Be kind unless its appropriate not to.  

  While I’m on a break from Fetlife, one thing I’m conscious of is that I tend to post things about looking for someone to go for cups of tea with, visit graveyards, go to bookshops and then snuggle up for reading. It’s pretty silly, but it’s meant sincerely. While I have to stop myself from adding “apply within”, in the end, it reflects how I would like a relationship to start. A thing of meeting for tea, visiting graveyards/taking quiet walks, and sharing a love of books and reading. Of course, it isn’t everything I want, and I hope that’s obvious as this is a kink site. It’s just that, as I’ve probably said so much that people are sick of it, I want to make a connection on a vanilla level and then grow the kink side of things. I’m looking for a band that takes more than just a love of kink, and I want to go slowly and surely. Eventually, I’d want things to develop into something more committed, and deeper, and to bring in other elements. I just don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to be someone’s mistake. I also want to be sure that most of our mutual needs can be met, and that both of us are working on whatever we need to work on - trauma is being addressed, patterns of behaviour are being broken if they’re negative, and so on. I want to be sure that the connection with this hypothetical person is strong, and that it can withstand a lot of shit - because I think life is going to get more, not less, difficult in the next few years. Any relationship is going to have to be strong enough to ride out the coming storms.Adding to this, I suppose I should expound on what I actually want. Before I go on, I should ask that the reader remember that this is me putting things out into the universe, so of course it’s selfish as fuck - I imagine yours would be too… Isn’t that sort of the point? (It strikes me as odd that we both castigate the “I have no limits” people, but also defining what you want can lead to you being accused that “you’re trying to control things and reduce me to a fetish dispenser” - the point is to talk things through and get to a happy medium, surely?). This is my “moon on a stick” list of things I want to have in a relationship. Vanilla: I want a relationship based on love, trust, communication, and sharing, and that reflects shared values. I want something where we can have separate bedrooms, though, in part because I snore horrifically and I feel guilty if I disturb people’s sleep. I also have restless legs - no idea why, but I suspect it’s anxiety related - and so I want to sleep alone to avoid kicking my partner. I also want to have a space that is mine (mine, all mine, bwahahahaha), because I want somewhere I feel I can go to write, create, and study. Or even just curl up if I need to be by myself because sometimes I do. This isn’t a slight against a hypothetical partner, it’s just how I am. I’m very introverted, think I may be an HSP, and there are times when alone feels like bliss - not because of who the other person is, or anything they’ve done… just because I need that time by myself for my sanity. Touch is, however, very important to me and is probably my primary love language, so I would like a lot of that. I enjoy acts of service too and supporting the person I’m with. I like giving massages and other forms of body worship too. I am happy to take responsibility for housework, cooking, and other domestic chores. This being said, I am a writer and I do need time to work and I expect that to be respected in a relationship. I hope my partner will have their own passions outside of kink and that they can be things we can share (books, board games, cats - you know, stuff like that). I value creativity, so I’d love it if they were also a writer or an artist, or something like that.  I know we don’t have to be completely in tandem, but at the same time, I have learned that shared passions are very often the key to a relationship and that losing that common ground can spell disaster. I’m not sure how I feel about having children - I used to be very opposed but now, I just don’t know.   

Move on....  That moment when you think you might be healed enough (do you ever really heal fully?) to maybe move on... To allow yourself the opportunity to connect again.To explore.To smile.To be vulnerable.To trust.To hope.To maybe even, g... fall in love. Instead, missed connections, pushed away strangers, lost opportunities. For what? Oh, what foolish dreams may come. Maybe someday...

She had spent the previous hour obeying his commands, staying in her allocated space, removing clothing when told, displaying herself when ordered, her shoulders ached from being held back to display her breasts, then from being held between two pillars, her thighs ached from being spread as she struggled to hold position. Now all she was wearing was a white G string, wrist and ankle cuffs, which he had used to spread eagle her between two pillars as he applied the flogger, concentrating on her back, bottom, thighs and stomach, but no part of her had escaped its attention. Once again he felt her roughly between her thighs, examining the scrap of material to see how wet she had made it, only eventually announcing she was wet enough. He released her, and immediately clipped her hands together and ordered her to her knees and elbows and to dip her spine, removing the tie sided string he then forced it into her mouth and then positioned himself behind her. His instructions were short and to the point, the first time he would enjoy her from behind, she would receive less stimulation that way so letting her concentrate on using her internal muscles to pleasure him. The crop would serve to remind her if she transgressed. He took a handful of her hair, pulling her head back he slowly entered her, ordering her when to tense her muscles as he also enjoyed the heat from her sore buttocks against his stomach.  He took his time, often she transgressed and paid the price of the crop, until she felt him slowly release.

What I am looking for: I would love to find an amazing submissive partner. This person should want to put in the time and effort it takes to become actual friends and form a real emotional bond. As in any solid relationship, this is not something that will happen overnight. If you lack patience or just want a quick hookup, I am not the One for you. The person in question should be local to me or able to visit on a very regular basis. What is most important to me is shared chemistry and emotional connection. I am not looking to rush into anything. Expect the process of getting to know each other and the vetting process to take TIME. Interested parties should be willing and able to communicate extensively through online methods. I prefer typed text to voice communication, but can verify that I am who I say I am if necessary. If you are someone who does not like to write words or who thinks saying 'hi' or telling me how attractive you think I am is a conversation, you won't stand a chance. My partner preference currently tends to swing towards cis women, trans women, and trans men, but I am pan and could be attracted to anyone if the right connection is there.Preferred Age Range - 30 to 50 Turn Ons & Main Interests: These are my "must have" vanilla and kink interests. While the exact dynamic of each relationship is unique to those involved in it, if any of this is a hard limit for you, we will likely not be a match. * Tease & denial * Orgasm control / orgasm denial * Massage (getting) * Cuddling & Physical Displays of Affection * Oral service * Laughter * Intelligence * Shared vanilla interests I've physically and mentally been through Hell over the past 5 or so years and need a partner who is truly service oriented, who will enjoy helping and caring for their Domme. I am completely willing to discuss this in detail with the right person. If you have fully read and understood my profile and journal, you may send me a polite message detailing why you are interested in serving me, how your vanilla and kink interests line up with my own, and a bit about yourself. Please also include the phrase "You remind me of the babe" so I know you actually read my complete profile. Bonus points if you know where the quote comes from.

Why I do NOT want My bags carried.   Those who know Me well, know I have gone on quite the health journey in the last 4 years.  I understand much more than I once did.  Due to this, I carry My own heavy cameras and camera bags, I will pick up purchases in the store that are heavy and not allow a male with Me to carry them for Me, and any attempt or offer to do so, is firmly rejected.   So, why do I do that?  It is simple, staying healthy means picking up heavy things, pushing the body.  Yes, I go to the gym and lift weights, use resistance machines, etc.  But, I absolutely embrace when LIFE brings the chances to do so, without special time set aside, etc.   Grins, I will admit when the male is being looked at by others, as though he is not doing his job, I find his discomfort and embarassment, quite entertaining.  One time, I was out photographing, with the same cameras you see on My profile, and another male chastised the male with Me, for not carrying My gear.  I laughed and made it VERY clear, he was not allowed to do so, as it did not suit My purposes.  Of course, it was MY decision!!  

  Tips on Courting a Domme   Over the years I've had my fair share of good luck when it comes to successfully courting Dommes and I've given out quite a bit of advice to subs looking to court Dommes. I consider myself to be average to below average when it comes to my looks and physical attractiveness, job quality, etc. so I must have done something right in making a good impression. Now that I have a blog I figured I would post my advice in full. I covered several of these a little over a week ago but I figure they could easily have their own post. 1. Be courteous, respectful, and have good manners. This should probably go without saying but one of the biggest turn-offs many Dommes have are subs who fail to meet these basic requirements. This is the most important thing in making a good first impression. If you are contacting them through an adult dating site, make sure you read her entire profile first and adhere to any requirements she might have. Write out a well-thought message (complete with spell check) that indicates what you find interesting about her (aside from her looks and your fantasy) and what you have to offer. Do not send a picture of your penis unless she specifically requests it. It doesn't take a lot of effort to be a perfect gentleman.  Most Dommes on adult dating sites receive 20-300 messages per day from potential subs, 90% of which are disrespectful, thoughtless, or downright crude. If you are approaching a Domme in public (at a munch, play party etc.) you have to be twice as well-behaved since there is only a limited chance that she is actually looking for a sub. If she says no, be courteous and get out of her face. If you don't, you can basically assume you will be blacklisted within that community.  2. Be a real person. No one is "just a sub" all the time. No Domme is "just a Domme" all the time. Even if both of you are seeking a 24-7 lifestyle relationship, you have to come off as more than just a live in servant(unless that is specifically what she is looking for). Have interests. Have feelings. Have dreams. Have goals. Have a personality. Have a sense of humor. Just like in vanilla relationships, all of these things will be important if you want to be an appealing life partner.  If you are as interesting as a box of hair, expect to be discarded as easily as a box of hair. She won't want to be burdened by having to keep you occupied and entertained all day every day. That is higher maintenance than being needy.  What are your favorite movies? Books? Music? Hobbies? Sports? If you can pique her interest as a person, you are much more likely to succeed in winning her over. If you are smart, funny, and caring it will go a long ways.  3. Have a philosophy and a good gr of yourself. It's easy to think about the sub you want to be. Hell, most subs have probably fantasized about Femdom situations for years before they act upon them. If you haven't thought about it, think about it. If you have thought about it, refine it a little more. Step One: Define your idealized form of submission. If she is the right match for you, your ideal and her ideal will likely coincide. This is not about what kind of play you enjoy or what kind of kinky fantasies you wish to have. Dommes an advantage since they can have rather meticulous expectations for a sub. Think about what types of characteristics and responsibilities those entail. Should a sub perform all of the household chores and domestic duties? Should a sub have any expectations of rewards or pleasures? Should a sub expect to be treated as a lover?  There is no right or wrong (although some of them should be obvious), but more a matter of preference. If your view of being a sub involves few responsibilities, you will probably be looking for a less strict Domme or a switch. If your view of being a sub involves extensive micro-management, that will be targeted towards a particular type of Domme. Some Dommes want a sub that is their lover, others may want a strict code of Mistress/servant formality. D/s relationships that work out generally will have idealized ideas of subm

I’m pleasantly surprised to find the journal feature is fully functional, things seem to be constantly improving here on Collarspace. I’ve always worked to be honest and transparent on ‘singles’ sites as well as those focused on kink/power exchange. Out of privacy interests some of my personal information is approximate, but I’m happy to clear up any questions you might have.  I’m thoroughly divorced/single, and any children I have are fully emancipated yet extremely important in my life.   Though single, I’m not promiscuous nor am I a ‘player’.  I really prefer to get to know a woman before things get ‘too’ physical.  I don’t want to break any hearts and I would prefer not to have mine broken either.  I would dearly love to get to get to know you if what I share here is resonating with you.   I’ve had the honor of being able to talk with and correspond with several quality women through this site.  Through sincere communication two Dommes have told me they think I am ‘kinky’, but not a ‘submissive’.  I respect and appreciate these insights but they leave me a little confused. I’ve always been seeking a Domme here, but in real life I am typically Alpha in my intimate relationships.  When a man is with a woman who enjoys and thrives under that dynamic it’s been counterproductive to share my submissive kink with my partner in the past.  That’s why I’m trying to be as open and transparent as I can in this initial meeting/exploring phase so I don’t waste your time.  I guess I could be considered ‘kinky’ as I am very heterosexually open-minded as I’m pretty open to trying new tgs that my partner might suggest, but I still have many submissive fantasies and crave playing that role for a woman as I have done in the past.  I had a very exciting relationship several years ago with a woman on the east coast, that showed me what was possible and left me craving more. She was vastly more experienced than I was/am and I truly began to fear the direction things were heading.  Once connecting through Alt.com - when it was still usable - she immediately took complete control and had me completely off-balance, I was naive as to what it meant when she told me she was a sadist, and I had no idea the effects constant strategic humiliation could have: Stockholm syndrome. This taught me how important investing in communication and building trust is before delving deep into a Dome/sub dynamic is.   I love the idea and experience of power/exchange, but I’m mainly a pleaser. I really don’t have fetishes as without some kind of connection with the woman I’m not going to be interested in power exchange or even vanilla intimacy.  This is my first real journal entry, I think it best to keep them fairly brief. Hopefully it posts flawlessly and I will be inspired to think of other things I can share with the special woman I hope to meet if she finds me here…

"The Grimoire of Urban Flora: Sacred Sexuality, Healing, and Transformation" this has been weeks coming. i finally got to do the audio review of urban flora. not just a music review..but a review in the context of the sacred spirituality power dynamic i do. with a mindset of mermaid energy. i go over briefly the summary of the energetics of the dark goddess sophia vibe, the dark god archangel michael male energy, where i get this from and the set up of why i see alina baraz's urban flora album as a guidebook aka grimoire for women like us..who love men like this. in this nature. too keep in the mermaid theme besides explaining a summary, all of it is in audio format to continue with the water theme. while i didn't record it on a water day or water planetary hour. i am rectifying it by releasing it today mercury day during mercury hour in my time zone for extra energetic effect. you're like a wave, pulling me underneath, there's a universe inside of you, i can make you feel, can i undress you, let them wash away your pain, what's a king without a queen, chasin your pretty thoughts   https://audiomack.com/sophia-starseed/song/the-grimoire-of-urban-flora-sacred-sexuality-healing-and-transformation imagine sick ass water images because on my other social media it's there and it adds to the effect and the formatting of collarme has nerffed the message. oh well.

Since editing a profile will take me offline for a period of time I will update my situation and desires in my journal. #1 I reside in Temecula, CA. My profile text still refers to Riverside, which was my prior city. Those who whish to serve me, will be willing to come to Temecula. #2 I have a female partner, who is fully aware of my activities on this site and encourages my search for a sub. She will not be sexually involved in my relationships. #3 A live-in 24/7 arrangement is currently not available. My desire is someone to serve on regular visits. How much submissive time you can give me when not in-person, is up for discussion. #4 I very much wish to have an in-person relationship with my sub. However, while Covid is raging, I will entertain an online relationship, with the possibility of transition to real-time later. I am tired of waiting for this thing to “blow over”, so I will do what I can in the meantime. I do hope that spring of 2022 will be a better time to meet. #5 On the subject of Covid, we are both full vaccinated and boosted. But we have a family member, in regular close proximity to us,  who is immune compromised. We have to be very careful about meeting during the pandemic. This situation is, hopefully, temporary. #6  I enjoy correspondence, but if someone reaches out to me for the first time with a short one liner, I am not interested. Tell me about yourself in a short paragraph and you will likely  get a response from me.

Sub thoughts for a Domme; What pleasure means to me ... as a submissive man, pleasure, to me, is knowing that i am making Her happy, providing a service to or for Her, filling the role that She wishes me to fill, for Her and Her pleasure.   I can do or perform acts that bring me pleasure, but it is empty if She doesn't derive pleasure, happiness, amusement or satisfaction from it. I am always hoping to make Her happy or to provide something useful to or for Her. A disagreement about what type of food to eat, what movie to see, what we are doing for the day .. the bottom line is She will have the final say, the Control to determine those things and to exercise that power when and how She sees fit.   I am happiest knowing that She is happy. To make Her smile or see the approving look in Her face is all the pleasure I need and anything further beyond that is simply icing on the cake.   I think what it means to the exchange between a Domme and Her sub/slave is mentioned in the above, but essentially it means that my pleasure only exists and should only be possible if i am pleasing Her .. it is Her desires and wants that need to be met, and my ability to assist or aid in that brings me great joy and happiness, and is the only thing that really pleases me.   Self-gratification is nice, but hollow and empty as i am not fulfilling the desire and yearning i have to know that i am pleasing Her. I exist for Her pleasure and that is fulfilling.   I look forward to submitting my ego and desires to Her, for Her to guide, shape, influence and control.

Mounting a STR8 male Pilars of society, husbands, fathers, movers and shakers. in all body types and backgrounds. You've got to love them all; at least I do. I'm partial to the bravado, the in your face attitude that screams "I'm terrified of venturing outside of my gender, but with the right MAN I'm game." The one thing to remember is to be subtle, these boys are a scary bunch and the slightest threat to their perceived orientation will make them clam up (pun intended) tight and you will loose your boy. However, once you're in their trust that is your chance to explore and they will provide the info you need. Family, marriage, parental relationships  and home issues. Overwhelmed, over worked, and under sexed; perfect combination and there is you, a strong paternal figure to hug them and tell them you understand  and suffer with his plight.  There is a moment of vulnerability in which you become his whole world as he contemplates all crumbling you are the sturdy support.  Sometimes it takes time to get there. Of course this does not apply to your male bride, the one you want for you only.  Check my journal on male brides.  Eventually it will graduate to touching, hugging, kissing and then cock play.  Once you become the adult in his eyes he will nurse from your rod and do it often because is “us boys.” But once he kneels to suck you his body is yours to explore and his butt is there as he is busy following your instructions on how to please you. Easy does it, touch, probe by do not put you finger in yet. Let him get use to your touch and caress.  Eventually his ass will arch up and that is your cue  to begin your entry. Ever so slowly and tenderly. Let  his  body guide you and then move your body to a position of dominance, standing and him in all fours. Pick him up, embrace him and assure him your understanding and his need for release.  Play with his cock , remember he is str8 and feels entitled. Yet as you play in front prepare the rear by probing his prostate. He’ll go through the roof realizing he never felt this with his wife, there is pleasure in his ass and you, his pal, just opened a new window for him to look out of. He is now yours and he will come back, promise. 

I am NON-BINARY and I use They/Them/Blue pronouns. ALL submissive candidates will need to c0mplete The F0rm. It's lengthy, it's personal, and it might require some thought on your part. It's a job application. If you want the job and the benefits, then it's worth your time and effort. If you cannot visit or meet within 6 to 8 weeks, then don't waste my time or yours. Come back when you're ready to serve.

It appears part of our profile is missing our instructions for applying to be our slave so here is the first step again   TO BE CONSIDERED THE FIRST STEP IS TO GIVE A LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF SO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING   WHAT PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE IN THE LIFESTYLE? WHAT SKILLS DO YOU HAVE TO BRING TO THE HOUSEHOLD? ARE YOU EMPLOYED? IF NOT YOU WILL GET A JOB. DO YOU HAVE ANY HEALTH ISSUES?  WHAT ARE YOUR VANILLA INTERESTS? WHAT ARE YOUR KINKS? DO YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH SERVING IN A POLY HOUSE WITH MULTIPLE SLAVES BOTH FEMALE AND MALE?  DO YOU HAVE ANY LEGAL ISSUES TO SORT OUT?  ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AND ONCE YOU DO WE WILL GO FROM THERE ANSWERING NONE TO Q1 OR YES TO Q4 DOES NOT HINDER YOUR ABILITY TO BE OUR SLAVE IT IS JUST THINGS WE NEED TO KNOW FOR YOUR SAFETY AND WELLBEING 

I am a bit concerned over the mail I get here on Collarspace.My profile CLEARLY states that I am a very happily owned bisexual slave.  I have been owned for eleven years. So why do all these male subs, switches and Doms mail me about becoming either their pet or serving me? I just do not understand. My profile seems very clear and concise to me. Are there that many Trolls that just resond to my pictures without even bothering to read my profile? Are these men complete idots who simply can't Master the english language? I am polite to people but I find these folks to be annoying. Please stop

After discussing my challenges with dating or even befriending certain types of people, my friend wants to come up a snappy phrase for me to use that translates into, "Yes, but your complete list of Issues Has to Fit in Large Print on an Index Card or It’s Too Much for Me.” That's much pithier than what I originally said, so ... progress!

Too many of you are confused — begging to be subs one minute, acting like wannabe Doms the next. All these hidden intentions are getting annoying. I don’t do pissing contests with little boys. Either serve or stay out of my inbox Having a handful of internet subs doesn’t make you a Dom — it just makes you loud online. Real dominance shows in how you carry yourself, not in how many chatroom pets you collect

What am I intreseted in?  What am I looking for?  I am open to many situations.  Mostly I would like an online sub to be my babygirl.  Someone who wants to live her normal life and yet needs someone to give her stability and direction.  I would guess a Daddy figure is the most accurate description. All of that being said I understand we all have different views of the perfect relationship. While I search for my "perfect" match, I am willing to learn about what you want, and who knows, it may become what I want. Let's talk and see if we can meet on some common ground.

I am feeling so frustrated right now. Tony has tried to come and spend time, his job has him all over, and his struggling children are creating stress and anxiety. It is very difficult to not feel frustrated and sad.  I am patient  , and I'm beginning to lose that quality. I have so many things in the air and I miss his presence. At this time in my life I want peace , togetherness, a solid base. I'm tired of missing people in my life.  I miss my children, I miss my friends, I miss my swing dancing, I miss my sweet Mulligan, I miss so much.   I'm feeling exhausted and at times I just want to sleep.   I haven't had time to meet new people here. Swing dancing island option, I was spoiled with what I had in D.C. I'm interested in pickle ball, and it may be an outlet. I haven't played competitive tennis since 2012. I really enjoyed that. Dance is better for the brain and balance though.  

It has been years since I've been on here. I left because the ability to journal was no longer an option. Apparently it has been restored!! This past Summer someone who first viewed me here, found me on Fet.  He remembered my profile and reached out. I was not looking to find someone. And pretty much saw  myself as content to be alone. It was a fluke that I went on Fet , after 1.5 years. Just as I am on here for several years away.  Presently,  I am in a lovely dynamic, with a very good Dom.  He and I see the world and more through  similar lenses. While a new dynamic, I feel so comfortable.  We fit. It is not easy to find someone who has similar,  faith, politics, perspective on D/s , and compatibility, as well as have vanilla life be a great fit too. We have found the needle in the stack of needles!    I appreciate this man very much, and can see myself with him , I can see a future. Tony I am yours, through thick and thin,  I have your 6 and feel the same. You have my heart ❤    M.

RigidityI have recently discovered something about my psyche. I have a very rigid mind, or at least when it comes to roles. I like dominants to be dominant, and subs to be subs. I like hierarchies, both parties knowing their place makes a relationship work, i feelBut my mentality has a few downsides too: Once roles are realised, i don't know if i can ever see someone in a different light. If a dominant wants to submit for a change, i can't handle that, If they start acting contrary to their established role, it just causes damage to my mental image of that person, and my respect for them   I also group kinks into these rigid roles. There are a variety of things that i feel are "submissive acts", and a dominant doing them makes me uncomfortable in the same way, even if they are just doing the things they want to do. These include things like: -consuming urine -wearing chastity -Worshipping feet -being penetrated -Begging, or pleading   And to a certain lesser extent, rimming and giving oral The list is not exhaustive These are all things that i, as a sub, am generally comfortable and happy with, But i can't really deal with a dominant choosing or maybe even wanting to do these things, it feels wrong. Amd I get "the ick" These have largely not been a problem, but there are a few edge cases where i talk to someone promising, and then they reveal wanting to do stuff like this, and it kills everyting. Not all at once though, i try to explain whats wrong, they usually understand, don't talk about those desires again for a while. But unfulfilled desire always resurface, and someone who wants to be penetrated is eventually going to ask me again to do it. And again, and again.   I guess we can say that "dominants doing submissive things" is one of my hard limits. it makes me irreconcileably uncomfortable and wears down the respect i have for a person.   I dont think i can change the way i think,maybe others can't either. i'm seeking a dominant who likes this kind of rigid hierarchy too.

  More Male Energy  I've come to realize that all of women in my inner circle are tomboys.  It's not like I'm attracted to them exclusively.  I just seem to like athletic women.  Take my Romanian girlfriend for example.  She's definitely the head of the household in her relationship.  She makes all of the money and makes all of the major decisions.  In fact, she's been with the same guy for years and they're not married.  She likes the idea that she could split at any time.   My other girlfriend is very much a tomboy.  Rather than doing girly things she's much more at home working on a car or building a deck.  She also likes being nude and playing pickleball.  We get along because she's a bikini girl like me.  We spend lots of time together sunbathing and talking.  She loved the swinger lifestyle.   I have a gay girlfriend who's been with the same girl for a long time.  We don't spend much time together as I'd like because my wife is very jealous of her.  But we have a lot in common and I know she's attracted to me.  Her significant other is butch looking.  She runs her own business and is very smart.  The last thing in these girls mind is a man! And then there's my submissive wife.  She spends most of her time thinking about how to please me.  To the outside world she's this dynamic ball of energy whose ready to pitch in for the fight.  At home, she wants to do everything I want to do.  She can turn that male energy on and off like a switch.   We both know who is in charge here.    

Regarding safewords and such... saw a journal post that caught my attention. My two cents worth: Don't rely on colors or even simple code words like "uncle" or "mercy" playing the very first or even first few times with someone new. If they don't agree with "No" means "No," at the outset, don't play with them. Don't be the sub that consents to having any choice taken away with someone new, and don't be the Dom(me) who takes that choice away. Save the word games for later in the friendship, after more trust is built up, and you have more assurance of your partner's safety and care for your welfare, or they have from you of their own. I for one have gone so far as to have actually used "Mercy" in a scene that I felt was going too far, but She didn't hear me, and I didn't repeat it. And I endured it. It was Someone I knew for almost 20 years by then. It didn't destroy what we had, and I was okay with it afterwards. But here's the thing: We had known each other that long, and we had that deep a trust while in the Dungeon. It wouldn't have been acceptable the first time we played if I had said "No" and She didn't stop. But She was always much more attentive than that. I've been fortunate that all the Tops and Dommes I've been with (only several, I assure you) have not crossed acceptable consent boundaries at all. They have known not to without having to negotiate it. Every Top should know not to, and every bottom has a right to expect that. I would call it common sense, if sense were really common.