Hello Friends, Thank you for reading my post. A bit about me, I'm 30 years old, a hairy man, and I'm a sucker for snuggles and pampering (my partner). I am an ENFJ and I LOVE to talk about anything and everything, the quirk is, I don't know how to get the conversation going sometimes. I'm painfully honest, and will never sugarcoat my thoughts and opinions, ask a question you will receive an honest answer. When my partner enters my life, whoever she may be, Will become the center of my world, and she will be treated as such. I adore babying and intimacy and get more satisfaction from being together than most. I work 5 days a week as a Sales Associate, for a cell phone company. When I do get my off days, They are spent with whomever I am with 95% of the time, there is going to be the odd occasion where I need to do some things solo since My work requires confidentiality. I am loyal to my core and Monogamous through and through. When I commit I jump in with both feet and will do everything I can to foster a loving and healthy relationship. I'm willing to relocate to my partner or help her relocate to me if she so chooses, but that would be no earlier than 6 months together. If you can tolerate my quirks and oddities for that long, you're well on your way to being wife material. What I am Looking for:Someone willing to commit wholly to me as I would to her.Loyalty and honesty. Integrity and trust, I will bare no secrets from my partner and I would hope she would do the same with me.Willing to relocate is a bonus but not required, I'm okay with an extended long-distance relationship, safety is key after all.Age and Body type are not an issue with me, Kids or not, both are okay with me.I'm looking for a soul mate, and a best friend, someone who will go through this journey of life together. Useful Info about me: I'm Willing to talk about anything and everything, pick something and we will discuss it in detail. Enneagram 6. I like good morning texts and good night texts, I love being in contact with each other even if it's something simple, and I love knowing what is going on in my person's life no matter how silly or irrelevant it may seem. I love knowing my partner's secrets and kinks, and I crave communication, if you're curious about something or want to try something, let's do it! For those that find this info useful:My primary love language is Touch, Secondary is Quality time. I'm an open book and if you're curious about anything about me, I will tell you. Just be brave and ask! I won't bite unless you ask nicely, Most of my kinks and turn-ons can be found on my profile, so explore away.

The dimly lit bar was filled with the usual Saturday night crowd, the air thick with the scent of spilled drinks and lingering perfumes. In the corner, a striking figure caught the eye of many, but few dared to approach. Rosalind, a voluptuous woman in her early forties with fiery red hair and piercing green eyes, was known for her domineering presence. She was a BBW with curves that could make any man weak at the knees, but her commanding aura was what truly set her apart. Across the room, a man named Thomas noticed her. He was tall, with short grey hair and a solid build, his eyes a soft brown that held a hint of timidity. He had been watching her for some time, his curiosity piqued by her confident demeanor. As if feeling his gaze, Rosalind turned to look at him, her lips curling into a slow, seductive smile. She raised her glass in a silent toast, beckoning him over with a flick of her wrist. Thomas hesitated for a moment before making his way to her table. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, his voice steadier than he felt. Rosalind leaned back in her chair, her eyes roaming over him appraisingly. "I might," she replied, her voice a low purr. "What makes you think I'd want your company?" Thomas swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. "Because I think you enjoy a challenge," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Rosalind chuckled, a sound like velvet. "You're right about that," she said, patting the seat next to her. "Sit." Over the next hour, they engaged in a battle of wits, their banter laced with innuendo and subtle flirtation. Rosalind was intrigued by Thomas's quiet strength, and Thomas was captivated by her boldness. As the night wore on, they found themselves drawn to each other, the sexual tension palpable. "I'm Rosalind," she said finally, extending her hand. Thomas took it, his fingers brushing against hers. "Thomas," he said, his voice hoarse. Rosalind's fingers lingered on his, her thumb tracing small circles on the back of his hand. "Tell me, Thomas," she said, her voice a whisper. "What are your fantasies?" Thomas hesitated, his breath hitching in his throat. "I... I enjoy being dominated," he admitted, his eyes meeting hers. "Being told what to do." Rosalind's smile widened, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "I see," she said. "And what about chastity? Ever thought about being locked up?" Thomas nodded, his cheeks flushing with desire. "Yes," he admitted. "I have." Rosalind's smile turned wicked. "Good," she said. "Because I have just the thing to make your fantasies a reality." Two weeks later, Thomas found himself in Rosalind's apartment, standing naked before her. She had taken him shopping for a chastity cage, a chrome device that now adorned his cock. He had been locked in it for days, the sensation of being caged driving him to the brink of madness. Rosalind looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on the device. "You look delicious," she said, her voice a low growl. "But I think it's time to take things up a notch." She turned to a table beside her, picking up a stubby black vibrator with spiral veins  that promised pleasure beyond imagination. She switched it on, the hum filling the room. Thomas's eyes widened, his cock straining against the cage. "Please," he begged, his voice a whimper. "Please let me cum." Rosalind chuckled, shaking her head. "Not yet," she said. "First, you need to earn it." She gestured to the bed, and Thomas eagerly climbed onto it, lying on his back. Rosalind knelt between his legs, her eyes locked onto his. She leaned forward, her breath hot on his cock, and slowly began to lick the length of it through the cage. Thomas moaned, his hips bucking against the restraint. "Shh," Rosalind whispered, her tongue tracing the tip of the cage. "Be quiet, or I'll have to gag you." Thomas nodded, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. She reached into a drawer beside the bed, pulling out a black ball gag. She fastened it around his head, silencing his moans. Thomas looked up at her, his eyes pleading. Rosalind chuckled, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Such a pretty sight," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "All mine to control." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "You're mine now, Thomas," she whispered. "Every part of you." Thomas nodded, his body shaking with desire. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with wicked intent. She stood up, her hand reaching for the vibrator. She turned it on, the hum filling the room once more. "Now," she said, her voice a low growl. "Let's see how well you can take this." She pressed the tip of the vibrator against his cock, the hum vibrating through the cage. Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the sensation. Rosalind pushed it harder, her eyes locked onto his. She could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. "Please," he begged, his voice muffled by the gag. "Please let me cum." Rosalind shook her head, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Not yet," she said. "You haven't earned it." She turned the vibrator up, the hum growing louder. Thomas's body shook, his cock straining against the cage. Rosalind could see the sweat beading on his forehead, the desperation in his eyes. She smiled, her fingers tightening around the vibrator. "Come on, Thomas," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "Take it. Take all of it." Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the effort. Rosalind could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. She smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Good boy," she said, her voice a low growl. "You're doing so well." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "Now," she whispered, her voice a low purr. "Let's see how well you can take this."

Update---- I've tried adding new pictures several times again and it just don't work. I've tried deleting all of my old pictures from 3 years ago but they stay and you're lucky if even one new picture comes once they finally approve  your pictures. I remember the old site, collarme and it was awesome. It was a couple that started that site and when they broke up, the male partner insisted he be the one to keep this site going. She warned us all that this site would become a train wreck and omg how right she was!    I'm hardly ever on here anymore. It's too hard to even send out messages with the f'ed upward puzzle that often fails to recognize that you got the puzzle right. Etc etc etc.  What a shame is all I can say.   Omg I hate this site so bad, it is so fucked up!! I tried to remove one photo and add a recent one..  So I'm down for two days, comes back on and no changes were made.  I have much better pictures now, these are all from 3 years ago.  I've since learned to use makeup much better and have been on hormones for 15 months and I'm much more feminine now.  I guess I'm stuck with what's on here..  Unbelievable!!!! 

These things fill my submissive dreams:My partner wants to lead a relationship based on a happy friendship and sharing positive feelings.My partner enjoys using chastity to satisfy her need to possess her lover. She enjoys being center of attention when she wears clothes that men cannot ignore, especially me. She wants a partner who submits to her excitement for taking control physically using locks and keys.She would like to use her man's sexual energy to teach him to obey her. She want license to be persuasive on her terms.She is willing to take time to acknowledge my service with little erotic rewards even when she is tired. Words are enough.She is interested in putting mutual health activities into our shared routines of life for which we are both responsible.I'd be happy to do yoga, massage and connective breathing as our most frequent intimate activities.I enjoy being appreciated for my sexual arousal as a compliment to you at the same time I enjoy being denied sex as sincere submission to you.I'd like to demonstrate my experience with turning arousal in chastity into the intense desire to make you happy in non-sexual ways.I feel loved when locked in chastity but still want to make love when you decide to take it off. Please lock it up when you are done.I want to believe that you require chastity to prevent masturbation so that I stay fully erect when you want me to be.I am enchanted to believe you like chastity because it prevents anyone else from tempting me, that you now own me without question.The chastity does not need to eliminate having sex, but to control when. A woman who blocks male masturbation is never lonely. It is an easy way to encourage a man to give more hugs and better kisses if he is thinking about sex but cannot touch himself anymore.

I'm bemused by the number of people who ask me what I'm looking for on here, or whether they can locate or contact me elsewhere. The first should be fairly obvious, I'd think, to anyone who's read my profiles here. As for the second part... I'm quite easy to find. *chuckle* I've determined that after 29 years, I'm just not as interested in chatting online as I once was, and I find small getting-to-know-you talk tedious. I love getting to the meaty topics, though, which is why The F0rm exists.  If, after you've thoroughly read my profiles here (BlueFyre and BlueAngelFyre) and on Fet, and you'd still like to be considered for being in my service, peruse my writing on FL of "The F0rm - What TF and Why TF?!" Once you've completed a section or more, reach out to me and send your responses. After that, I'm sure there will be plenty to discuss. ;)   --Blue (=

The earliest memories I've had of a female exerting their power over me date back to kindergarten, well before I knew anything about sexuality. My mom would set me up on "playdates" that involved me being trapped in a cage while the girls enjoyed tea time. At recess, being held down by girls while my guy friend was being chased by the other girls...I have no recollection of how these things happened, but these memories stand out in my mind to this day. As a young boy that fantasized and daydreamed about these types of scenarios quite regularly, I was often shy and nervous around most girls, especially the ones I was most attracted to. But I also think this type of thinking has contributed to me having a successful career in the arts in some way. Similar to a D/s relationship, evolving as an artist involves discipline, creativity, and the willingness to challenge your own perception and beliefs. I hope whatever relationship I involve myself in will allow me to further flourish in my career, which will in turn make me better equipped to handle the demands of a kinky relationship.

I'm disappointed in people being rude on here, realized that there are submissives and slaves that are extremely rude and disrespectful, even after sending a polite inquiry. Then, to get a response asking thoughts on my political beliefs, and then not being able to respond quickly, I get called nasty political names. After writing a response explaining my position, and explaining how I feel, I'm blocked. A true sign of being a coward and low life on this site. There have been many wonderful conversations with Transgendered individuals, and I come to respect them more than some of the submissves or slaves that I've come to know on here.  It is no ones business to know how I feel in regards to political issues, or how I feel about the election results, past or current presidents. Its none of my business to know how you feel in this regard, unless you want to freely discuss it, but don't get upset or angry if they don't align with you.  In my opinion, I feel that politics and religion should not belong in a lifestyle relationship. I welcome to hear your opinion. Efforts should be put into establishing and developing a lifestyle relationship, than worrying, or stressing out about political bull shit.     

A Raven and a Wolf   He sat, kneeling really, slowly panting, under a soft leather hood. It was laced tightly, almost preventing his every breath. And in the darkness, under the hood, he strained his ears to hear whether she was near, or far. He inhaled, trying to find her scent, but could only smell the leather of the hood. He tried to feel if he could sense her presence closer, but nothing. The air was still. His mouth, dry from nerves, with lips slightly agape, didn't utter a sound.   So he waited, arms bound, shoulder back, chest forward and exposed. Uncomfortably upright.    She sat before him, watching him lazily, like how a cat does with a weakened mouse, very still. A hunter and their prey. She was breathing evenly to hide the excitement pooling inside of her. Hands encased in buttery soft lamb skin gloves, the color of his hood, the color of her whip, the color of blood. The color of her lips. A red so beautiful. Her eyes sparkled at the idea of it coming from his body. Beautiful and broken. She could sense he was searching for her; a slight turn of the head, listening, perhap? Leaning forward gently; trying to smell? Like a dog, she thought, just like a dog. And she sat there far longer than even she desired to see how far this "dog" would go.    "Bark, dog" she commanded in a low voice  And he barked immediately, no hesitation. She pulled back her hand and slapped him, his head jerked, body lurched, chest rising and falling rapidly. A noticeable difference between his legs. There it was again, a hunger to bite into him. Taste his blood. Consume him. But only silence. No whimper, no moan, not a sound escaped him. She wondered if he were bleeding from his cute little mouth. Again she slapped him. Softer than the first, a loving caress, bits of his hair peeked through the laces of the hood and she wanted to grip them and tear them away. Would he let her? Perhaps.    The next slap, and the one after, opposite hand, and he fell forward just enough that his face touched her thighs only separated by the hood and her own stockings. The rule was he wasn't allowed to touch her unless she said. This was a broken rule, however accidental. She stood and let him slump forward in a stupor, supported only by the tension of the rope tied to the foot of the bed.   Bark, dog. Dog. He barked.  Up, dog, and he returned to his previous place, exposed and upright. She stepped forward, the toe of her shoe pressing down on the sensitive flesh of the head of his dick. She crushed it gently until he sat even straighter. She held his head in her left hand, caressed it gently, leather on leather. The smell intoxicating her. Raising her right hand she slapped him again, over and over until her hand grew hot even under the glove. Was he bleeding? She hoped so. She hoped to kiss him and bite his lips and taste his blood. She wished she could see his eyes, dazed, glassy, far away. She caressed his head. And whispered, "you may touch me" and he pressed his face into her hands, her thighs. Still no sound, he was so silent.   "Bark, my handsome boy" and he barked, hoarse and painful as she encircled his neck with her hands. This was his idea, he had inspired in her a lust for choking him until he was nothing and drifting away in the ether. She squeezed, her hands perhaps too small, until he gurgled. She wondered if his eyes were open or if they were dimmed. The hood obscured so much. She squeezed until he seemed to go limp. And she let him. Shoulders yanked uncomfortably under his weight.    He awoke. Arms aching, face hot but no longer enclosed by the hood. He could see her though his vision lacked acuity. She was standing over him, wrapped in pink except for gloves. He yearned for them then. Yearned for them to be around his neck, feeling the bones of her fingers threatening his very life. He wanted to ask for it, for her to choke him, strangle him, but knew it was to her whim that he obeyed. Obeisance was her pleasure. He looked at her, eyes soft, left cheek swollen, lips split ever so slightly and she leaned down and kissed him, sliding her tongue over the drying blood. He kissed her back, gentle, but hungry.    Her kiss was soft but grew more passionate until she bit him and suckled his mouth. Did he love this part of her? The softness before the sting.  She broke the kiss. Her lipstick perfect but her mouth and chin stained crimson with what must have been his blood. "Open your mouth, I'd like to try" she said softly. A shy whisper. So unlike the command to "Bark".  He angled himself upright, head back, lips parting painfully like a little bird. She leaned forward and let her own saliva pool in her mouth and slowly let it fall into his. He shuddered. His excitement excited her and she kissed him again before he could even swallow but this time it was wild and wet. Her saliva all over his mouth, chin, cheeks.    "I have to whip you now, are you ready?" She asked and he nodded. A question was not a command to speak. Dogs do not speak unless commanded to speak. She untied him and his body fell forward. Not used to its old range of motion. His limbs buzzed from having sat in one position for too long. He wondered about how much time had passed. Funny thing, time. Why did it matter now when he was in the moment with her.   Without the hood he realized he could smell her. A warm sweet scent, perhaps arousal. And he thought then about being forced to please her like they talked about in passing, forced until exhausted and even beyond. After play. Her, in her pink, looked like candy and he wanted to lick her. She must be sweet.      She looked down at him and his face was peculiar, his mind was somewhere else and he looked rather cute. But she was jealous at the idea that his mind wasn't on her and she kicked him in the stomach to bring him back to her. He coughed and curled up as she walked to retrieve her whip, preparing for the next step in her courtship.  "Up" she commanded and he got to his feet, winded, bruised. Arms still behind his back. She released them to tie them around the post of the bed. The bed post being the whipping post, isn't it somehow romantic, she thought.    "If you need me to stop, tell me, I won't be gentle otherwise" she said to him, her mouth on his ear. His hair was slicked down with sweat and he smelled musky. She liked his smell. She bit his earlobe and stepped back a couple of feet and threw the whip. Lash after lash until he tried moving away. Pulling at the post until it creaked. She wanted him to cry but he only moaned and groaned, no tears. Just a brow drenched in sweat as his back went from fine pink lines to slowly oozing wounds. If he didn't give her tears then she would have blood.  He pulled desperately as if trying to escape her and she threw the whip furiously, lashing whatever she could reach, his ass, thighs, calves, neck, even the back of his head. The post groaned as if it would break under the strength of him trying to flee.   "Do you want to get away from me?" She asked. His breathing heavy, labored, his body wobbled as blood poured from him, he shook his head no, weakly, and looked over his weeping shoulders with hazy eyes. Finally he spoke, a clear and clean "No, ma'am" from his lips now dry from mouth breathing, swollen from having been bitten and slapped.   The no rang through her body and she leapt at him and kissed and licked his mouth, his shoulders, his back. Barely containing her arousal, her hips moving in slow circles. She was so hungry.&n

Doors, and the Men Brave Enough to Open Them I need to talk about housing, because the situation has moved from inconvenient to urgent and I have never been the kind of woman who dresses up an uncomfortable truth to make it easier to look at. The burglary destabilized something that was already fragile. The particular violation of having your home invaded, the way it changes the quality of the air in a space you were supposed to feel safe in, has made staying where I am feel increasingly untenable. And so I have been doing what practical women do: looking at options, running numbers, weighing what is available against what I actually need, and arriving repeatedly at the same frustrating conclusion. The budget and the requirement do not currently overlap in the way I need them to. Chicago is not a forgiving market. What I can afford and what my children deserve and what my own standards require form a very specific Venn diagram with a smaller center than I would like. I am not defeated by this. But I am frustrated, genuinely and specifically, in the way that only financial limitation frustrates a woman who knows exactly what she should have and cannot yet reach it. And so I find myself thinking about a different kind of solution. One that lives not in the listings I scroll through late at night but in the framework of the life I am actually trying to build. The truest forms of submission are not always the ones that happen on a marble floor or at the end of a leash at a Renaissance faire. Sometimes the truest form of submission is a man who looks at the woman he serves and says: my home is yours. Come and make it what it should be. Let me provide the foundation and trust you completely with everything built on top of it. That is what I am thinking about. A sub who opens his doors is offering something more profound than service in the conventional sense. He is offering sovereignty. He is saying: I trust your vision, your standards, your taste, your authority over the space we will share, completely and without reservation. He is handing over not just his time and his attention but the most intimate expression of his daily life, the home he lives in, and inviting a woman of genuine authority to take it in hand and make it into something neither of them could produce alone. I think about what that would look like in practice, and it looks like this: I come home from work and from school and from the particular exhaustion of a life I carry with full commitment, and I come home to a space that has been held in my absence with the same care I would give it myself. The children are received. Dinner exists. The household has been managed not because I directed every step but because the man inside it has internalized my standards deeply enough that my presence or absence changes nothing about the quality of the result. The home runs on my vision and his execution and the collaboration between those two things produces something genuinely beautiful. I would be the homemaker in the truest sense: the one who makes the home what it is, whose taste and authority and presence defines the atmosphere and the culture of the space, while still working and studying and mothering and building the future I have mapped out so precisely. Not because I need someone to fund me into passivity, that is not who I am and never will be, but because the domestic load distributed correctly, between a woman who knows what she wants her home to be and a man who has made producing that his devoted purpose, is what allows both people to function at their highest level. This is not a fantasy of convenience. This is the framework. This is what the life I have described across every entry in this space actually requires to function. The architecture of everything I am building has this at its foundation: a shared home, governed by my standards, maintained by his devotion, built around my children's stability and my own restoration and the slow and serious construction of a future that looks like what I deserve. The man who offers his door is not losing anything. He is gaining the most clarifying thing available to someone like him: a woman who knows exactly what to do with the space he has been living in alone, waiting without quite knowing what he was waiting for. I am not difficult to house. I am specific. There is a difference. I know what I am looking for. I know it exists. And I am, as always, building toward it whether or not it has arrived yet.   It will.

I have been asked to update my journal and my relationship status since its been a few years.  I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 10 years. He lives with me and does not expect to be included in my exploits.   I love being poly. I have so much of myself to give.  I am looking for a Dom of my own.    If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me. 

You know the saying, you are what you eat? I heard a variation today I like ever so much better. You are what you digest. Think about it. We, sometimes unwillingly, ingest things that are good for us and reap the nutritious benefits. We also take in those that have spiraling negative effects. And then there's corn. Yes, corn is an antioxidant and contains vitamin C, but for the most part it remains unprocessed and pointless. That's the definition of corn in this moment. Argue with me later about fiber. So, you've got your positive veggies and fruits and grains. You've got your negative chocolate ice cream. You've got corn.  What about when it comes to your words and actions? Are you filling your plate with nutritious positivity? Or are you spiraling negativity about others. About yourself. Your actions. Or is it all just corn? I find, and maybe some of you will feel the same, that I get lost if I don't have a daily agenda. Consider it the plate to put food on. No plate and you just walk around nibbling, not planning out nutrition, not balancing indulgences. I have no plate and no plan and I feel awful. It's all corn and I don't care enough about any of it to make a change. I don't want to have a corn summer. This is my reminder to build a nutritious plate every day so I ingest positivity.  Is this a little too in my head? It went in a different direction that what I was thinking. Originally the connection I made was about taking in the positivity in your surroundings and letting go of anything that doesn't serve you. Drop the corn. Only I seem to have had an epiphany somewhere in there. It could use a little more connection, but hopefully you'll figure it out. By the way, I love corn on the cob. Just not as a neutral state of being.  Someday I'm going to circle back to this philosophy and hashtag drop the corn. You heard it here first. 

Recently I've been having some fun on another site that specializes in Doms keeping subs in chastity. So last night I had this one guy... mid 30s... glasses.. looks like a real computer nerd approach me. I was not going to give him the time of the day and I sensed he was going to be a bit of a brat. But he begged, begged and pleaded. Eventually after a lot of negotiating and exchanging some links I agreed to put his dumb ass in chastity for a simple 2 hr lock. Guess how many times he messged me begging to be released during that 2 hour  span of time. 37x. I can't make this shit up even if I tried lol.  So naturally when I returned to the site after getting dolled up for the day I see the messages. And I'm pissed. Becuase I specifically told him to sit his ass in the corner with his cage on and butt plug in and wait for me to return. He got called every name after the sun which I'm sure he enjoyed and I extended the timer for the rest of the day. I also have access to his dildo machine via lovesense and let's just say today he could barely sit down without a pillow. He thanked me this morning :) he loved it. 

Name Change as a Sign  Since ancient times names has been a map to knowing people and places. A name is you in sound. Many societies used multiple names to protect the inner soul and very lives of individuals. Certainly secret societies, religions, and associations use name change as a way to signal a change of life and alliances. The ideas of acquiring a new name appears in ancient and sacred texts and invariably signal a deeper commitment and a sign of change and transformation. Part of many rites of passage include after the third step, reintegration, the new name. That is why after such rites people speak about the new person that has emerged after the ritual. The name is then a way to mark ownership, commitment, and deep understanding of the individual’s newly acquired status. We tend to give names to those things and individuals that we possess or at least hold a claim to. The selection and bestowing of a name in those circumstances is a provocative moment in which one end of the equation decides (based on his understanding) the name of the individual to be reborn through the new name. The level of intimacy this act requires and entails will bound both individuals beyond their wildest dreams. In this case the Alpha be one Sir, Lord, Master, etc and the sub will take the neme his superior bestows; and in that moment the bond created will be consummated constantly through the word and specifically through sex. 

7/10/2023 It's been a long time since I updated my profile or made a journal entry so thought I would catch up a bit. I found my mate or rather she found me one evening when we were both online and onsite here. She made a snarky comment about my then profile picture which had one of my pack llamas in it. We started yacking back and forth and 3 days later met on a local walking trail with our dogs and have been together ever since. We live together in a monogamus M/s 1950s lifestyle. She takes care of me full time and I provide the income, roof over our heads and security. I retired 3 years ago so no more alarm clocks and 12 hour commute/work days! We go camping with our tent trailer either across the mountains or to the ocean several times a year. We have been going on long road trip vacations to National Parks every year or two. Last Year was a 4 week trip to 6 National Monuments and 5 National Parks in Oregon, Idaho and Utah. Lots of Lava, caves, arches, spires, hoodoos and canyons! We've been together coming up on 9 years now since we met on that walking trail. We will be together for the rest of our lives! Not bad HUH!!!

The Lighthouse Within: Illuminating Love and Power in Dynamic Union I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this i tweaked this song with a higher pitch and a faster beat to really get into a deeper and more fulfilling emotional space than the song was. however, i am moving most of my platforms to something more professional ish and don't want to deal with the copyright. just know if you pitch it up and move it to a faster speed it's a different experience that is. beyonce's voice sounds more childish, impish, and little girl ish. a emotional and mental state i can resonate with more fully as an adult and little girl. the jayz voice sounds more of a stronger timber and more of a high hit on the drum sound....something more direct and focused and intentional and intense. the sounds in the background that are celebratory sound grander. the piano sounds angelic and full of joy, uplifting, something literally awesome. awe·some /ˈôsəm/ adjective extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear. something other wordly, something in the clouds, something more expansive than earth ever can be. Uh, uh, uh This (uh, uh) is (uh, uh), ouu! Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like, "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love Representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still) I put it down for the 713 and we still got love for the streets (ow!) We played it cool at the pool of the Cancun, VMA Confidence you exude make the fools stay away Me, I played the room, let the fools have they say Fate had me sitting next to you on the plane And I knew straight away, uh The next time we would speak was like two years away You had a man, you shut it down until you two had a break I bet that dude rued the day You kept me up on the phone while you were away You came back, I let you set the date, Nobu on the plate I brought my dude to play it cool, my first foolish mistake Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this Queen, I ain't mean no disrespect But the way I network, it's hard for me to connect My first time in the ocean went exactly as you'd expect Meanwhile, you going hard, jumping off the top deck A leap of faith, I knew I was up next I never told you, but I told a few people we wed Me, I'm off to Rome, you going back home instead My first time in my life a live nigga felt dead You came back, I had to act like it was cool in my head Thoughts of jumping the broom, a player never been swept Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) To all the good girls that love hustlers To the mothers that put up with us To all the babies that suffered cause us We only know love because of ya this song talks about still being from where you are from. the 713. this song doesn't need to be decoded as deep as others. it's a tale of two bodacious bombastic people. i see it in the daddy dominant and little girl personality and identities. strong, powerful, like greek gods in sculptures running the world. pushing the line between safe and da

Since updating profiles takes so long, I will do journals instead. I could have died last week.  I spent 5 days in the hospital and the doctors told me if I hadn't gone in as quickly as I did, it would have been a lot worse.  Maybe too late.  It gave me a lot of time to think and a lot to think about.  It really brought home that I am 66 years old, and people my age die all the time and that life expectancy for men in the USA is only 72.  Of course there are a lot of factors that go into that and that is an average of all male babies born, and when I factored in all my personal info it came out to 95 years.  And I take good care of myself and eat mostly the right foods and watch my weight.  Still, this last week made me truly think about my own mortality and that for all that I don't think of myself as old, shit happens.  And the older you get, the more likely it is to happen. So I thought a lot about what I truly wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I have already achieved a lot of my goals.  Nice house.  White picket fence, well it's red brick wall, but still counts.  My kids are grown and independent.  I have friends, hobbies, plenty to keep me busy.  My retirement is funded and I can live comfortable for well past those 95 years.  The real question is what do I want to do with those years.  And being a slave isn't it.  Well it is, but not all of it.  I want to live those years.  Travel, go to events, experience.  And I don't want to do it alone. I want to do it with you.  I just don't know who you are yet.  I know you are wickedly smart, have an engaging sense of humor and value integrity as much as I do.  Trust has to be 100 percent in both directions.  99.99 percent isn't good enough.  And you have to be a total perv.  I mean make the average perv blush.  And yes, of course with informed, consenting adults only.  I'm perverted, not evil. You should enjoy geekery.  An old girlfriend used to call me the elder geek.  I was a geek before it became pop culture.  You should have ambition.  I am not a sugar daddy.  Though if you are still on your way up, continuing your education or just starting your career or business, I can shoulder the load until you can hold your own. I acomplished more before my 27th birthday than most people do in a lifetime.  I deserve the best.  At least the best for me, and I won't settle for less.  And I seek a woman who also seeks the best for herself and won't settle for less.  Remember the first Rocky movie?  Rockie talking to Paulie about himself and Adrian? “She's got gaps, I've got gaps, together we fill gaps.” Let's fill each other's gaps.  No match is perfect. Every relationship requires work for all involved.  Both to build and to maintain.  I'm willing to put in the time and energy if you are.  

i'm a painslut, plain and simple. i am more than that, but i am very much that. i have fantasized, for as long as I can remember, about being bound and gagged, helpless and vulnerable, as a confidently sadistic woman inflicted exquisite agonies upon me. CBT was an essential component of these fantasies from the outset, and in ways i couldn't understand at the time, my suffering pleased Her, which made me want to please Her more. With all my heart, i want to please Her now and forever. i want to serve and please Her in many other ways, but make no mistake: i'm a painslut, and i will adore Her for devouring what i give to Her.

slave knows no gender, has no expectations, lives to please its betters, keeps its Owner always in mind, knows and expresses gratitude among other things. The slave reading this probably feels inadequate with out the ability to ever 'measure up.' And, well it should. However, I have never found a slave that adequately fills the above list of particulars. So, I expect to devote much energy and time to training; maybe a life time. Do not worry about coming to Me as a finished, accomplished slave. Rather, come to Me with an abiding need to be subsumed in devotion and service. Everything else can follow. Master James

Demons We all have them .Just some are better at hiding them. Or think they are.WE choose what to do with the ones INSIDE us.The ones we see everyday.You can't hide them for long.We learn to deal as we get older and perhaps they go away. O just find a better hiding spot That not just little things make them show there ugly horns.Perhaps Our loved ones help with keeping the triggers away. Who really knows.Till you've tried on the shoes make sure that you can walk in them ESPICALY if there NOT your shoes.The demons in ones head can choke a priest.Med ya say? WHY I say?Groundings oneself can help. Meditation can as well. BUT do the demons ever go away completely?Sure when one is dead and gone maybe.How we deal is what makes US STRONGER.Take my hand and I'll help all I can.Without hurting myself of course .May the goddess and gods guide and help you be at peace within oneself.( By KA) me

Normal 0 Yes i put it on my other one too   lol Thought I would put this here.  We all know how long updating your profile takes  LOL  I was passing the time one evening responding to emails (sorry I'm behind, getting better though  lol)  I accidentally pushed the "home" button, which no longer refreshes the page, but shows you profiles of all that are currently online. I started reading other's profiles (Dominant and submissive) and I was surprised to see there are still some lifestyle people on this thing  lol   Below are some phrases here and there and adjusted them to fit me, as well as some of my own words, to explain yet another way what I am looking for. (So thank you fellow CS'ers for the help  lol):    Even though I have a rather in depth profile, I still get asked what I'm looking for.  So hopefully this will work for everyone (yeah yeah yeah I know the wankers aren't going to read this either LOL):    Looking for a slave to train with love and discipline. I'm looking for a partner(s) that is no where near a doormat, like so many on here,  I am way too busy to deal with the game players that seem to keep finding me here. I am looking for someone who can hold their own in the vanilla world during business functions, etc., but also has the ability to enjoy and obey the rules and regs of the D/s lifestyle.    I want my companion slave to be my lover (someone that can and will hold me at night), a friend (someone I can talk to on any level about anything),one I can trust and love back. Go on trips, day or otherwise and have actual fun. (D/s doesn't have to be done just at home ya know?   lol)  And, "no" for all you one handed typers that get mad and say, "You are just looking for a husband" just because I won't "assist" them in their efforts   lol  Trust me, a piece of paper is the LAST thing I'm looking for.  I know they say to never say never but.......NEVER!!!!     LOL   I believe submission is a gift to give not one to take    I mix D/s with everyday vanilla life.  That means I also want a balance in family, friends and the lifestyle.  And I mean our actual families (i.e. mothers, fathers ,brothers, sisters, nephew, nieces, cousins, aunts, uncles;  are all important to me and should be for you as well)  (and "no" this does not mean that we will be shouting in the streets to our family and friends about our personal life, it just means we need to mingle with others just as much as we would if we were just vanilla.  Nothing makes people start nosing around like someone or a couple that only keeps to themselves.  LOL     I usually read history and profile before I respond to someone.  And guys for you that say you don't have kids but want them some day, just move on to the next profile, because that obviously won't be happening here   LOL    Nothing makes me happier than to know that I have a loving, trusting, supportive family/foundation under me (yes, this time I am referring to my "in house" family)  My man/men are happy when I am pleased with them and nothing makes them sadder than knowing that they have displeased me. Me and my guy or guys and that we are all happy and taken care of and that we are living the life that is perfect for what we were all looking for.  Not someone who just says he wants it.  Those kind either try to manipulate you into what they want eventually, or they are here but miserable, making everyone else the same.  Or the worst ones that go with a family just to be with "anyone" and the whole time they are online trying to better deal you  lol    No I wont meet or even DM you after we have a 5 minute conversation in mail if you want to meet me (usually just "hi" back and forth), Take your time. Talk to me.. I think there is a very special person behind this computer screen. If you are a real lifestyle submissive then you should want to take your time and learn as much as you can about the life that you claim you want to walk into, forever. If this isn't your style and you need to move faster, that's awesome, it's just not my way, so we can agree to disagree and you can move on to the next profile. No I don't plan on talking here forever before DM's but I will move on to whatever the next step is, when "I" am ready.  Nothing else will fill the void but what I seek. So don't ask, try to manipulate me, or think you are so special that I will change what I want.  You get to choose who and what you want, I deserve the same respect.                      

What's Forrest Gumps password?      1forrest1   I am not perfect, I don’t expect those around me to be either. I don’t dwell on mistakes or the past. I choose to move on. We have all stumbled on this venture of finding the right person. Those stumbles do NOT define us. How we work our way through the problem does.  Why do we look for someone else to be perfect?  Are we?  Do we bring baggage to the relationship?We each need to find someone who makes us happy and whole, then lean on each other through the hard times.  Find someone who is willing to meet you halfway and adjust as we grow.  Learn from each other and teach each other.   How long are we willing to look for perfect ?  NEVER accept TOXICITY as acceptable. 

What being a sub means for me Being submissive to someone allows me to put my at ease knowing that no real pain will happen under My Dominate's protection. I know what is done is for my own benefit or theirs but not just theirs. It allows me to turn off the part if my brain always questioning or assuming something bad is about to happen. Being shown I belong to that person comforts me! I wish to find one who will help me be better! Not just for their pleasure but also in my life! Someone who will communicate their needs and consider all mine. Someone who is willing to balance not just take. Someone who has my best interest and my heart at the forefront of their mind. They guide, they support, they encourage me to be my best self! Although I struggle with it I am taking steps to better my life and work towards my goals both at work and home, I'm learning about how to be a better active listener currently and hoping to try to be more active and eat healthier.

Catfishing is just catfishing plain and simple. If you put up younger images of yourself and then you scroll to the end and see the fit goth is now santa claus your emotions are a little defeated by the fact that the person you were sexually attracted to was the middle of the three stages of man but now looks like the last stage. Frustrating. I have updated my profile several times and I have not noticed a hidious delay in approval but I can't speak for others and their tech issues. When I exchange my images with other hopeful kinksters I am pretty sure I would get an ear full if the images I was sending was 10 to 15 years out of date.  I even make a point the image was taken a week ago.  The oldest image I have exchange was a month old. Just because your a man does not give you privileges to play the catfishing game. Luckily only had a brief discussion and did not hook up for drinks or I would have ordered the rum to process the catfish experience.

Looks like I’ll be in Tennessee on 9/9-9/17 for work.Interested check out my BIO all welcome.

Reflection: Week 1 Well I would say that the first week has gone pretty well. I have worn my collar daily. I have used a plug all but one day. I will find some additional attire for around the house that will be acceptable. I have shared all of the messages with him that I have received since the beginning of the new year. It may be a small step but I feel like these things help maintain a good headspace for us bith and encourages intimacy on various levels. I will try to keep an ongoung update as time permits. Through reflection comes the opportunity for growth.

Just some side notes: I am 47 as of spring of 2023. Not interested if you're less than 35 or older 60. Seriously. No. If your message resembles a cat call, is asking me if I'm into xyz, reads like a copy pasta or have almost no content/effort, is asking me for my number/photo/messaging id somewhere else, is disrespectful, etc. No and/or blocked. If you are 15 miles or more from JFK or LGA airports, do consider how you will be doing ALL the commuting before messaging me.  Also, I am NOT a sugar mommy. I will not reimburse you for your travel expenses or put you up unless we are in an established relationship. If and when we are in a long term relationship and travel is required, I'd expect that expense to be shared fairly. Something about fair energy exchange.  Oh, before you message me, you might want to check out my fetlife profile with the same userid. Most of it is a bit dated, I am not terribly active there. However it will give you a better sense of who I am. Let's not waste each other's time shall we? 

I want flowers. I want to whip you. I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes. I want respect and awe and understanding and love. I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs. I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait. I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly. I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses. I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me. I want affection and cuddling. I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk. I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart. I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you. I want humor and debate and dialog. I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back. I want to see you crawl – just for me. I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come. I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you. I want You.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

I met a Dom on Fet Life who has been keeping me in line the last few weeks. He is not a nice person. I don't really like Him, but as a Dom and potential Master, He is exactly what I need. I've been processing this phenomenon, putting much thought into why I respond to Him so well as a Dom, even though I wouldn't choose to spend time with Him otherwise (and I'm sure it's mutual). I cannot count the number of Doms, Masters, Gods, Slave Owners, etc. that I've met both online and in person who seem unwilling or incapable of issuing an order or command. I tend to follow orders. If I don't receive any, I assume the Dom is uninterested and I move on. Aftter all, it is my job to follow orders, not to issue them. The Man that I am currently serving does not have this problem. I obey all His orders without question, even those I don't want to. It's not my job to choose which orders to follow. If you identify as a slave and you're having trouble attracting potential Masters, maybe you should take a look at your profile and count how many times "me" or "I" appear in your text. Then skim your profile for anything that would tell a potential Master what you could do for Him. Learn much?

Superior Integrity Honest Protective Dominant Sadistic Arrogant Corrective Controlling Intense Sarcastic Creative Raunchy Deviant   Step up correct or do not step up at all.

June 26, 2022  Long over due UPDATE My profile definitely needs updating.  My understanding is it takes months to have edits to your profile approved so I thought I would update it here. = I am 59 years old, not 55.   I am having a big bash when I hit the big 6-0h in Feb.   I practice a poly lifestyle.  If you think "Sister Wives" (on TLC) is poly, if you think poly is just a group of people who just indiscriminatntly fuck each other, you and your preconcieved notions are not a good match. I find myself more and more attractied to substantive men, with more than a cock and "the best" insert sexual act here to offer.  If you have an open mind, and/or have experience with poly, lets discus what might work for us. Relationsihp anarchy - we determine what our relationship looks like.  It is ours to define. Enjoy the journey!

Nobel Prize Committee: George Costanza. Gears of War (Ginger Fish),  Cyberpunk 2077 (Johnny Cash),  Arkham Games (Chris Cornell), Left 4 Dead (Kurt Cobain), Dead Til Daylight (Kanye West). Gotham: Harvey Dent. Heath Ledger (MI-6 Assassin Services), Nicholas Maynard (French ExSec Bourbon), Cameron Hollopeter (NYU Film School), Andrew Donson (Firaxis Games), Michael Richards (NYPD).   The Matrix:  Cypher.   Venus Terzo (British Navy), Keanu Reeves (Hezbollah), Ben Brown (DEA), Sandra MacDonald (Vatican Sudan), Ivar Hennington (UMass-Amherst ROTC).   Harry Potter:  Voldemort.   Melinda O'Deele (Mutual Commonwealth Insurance), Joshua Moen (Haverhill Corrections), Ellen Page (Los Angeles Sheriffs Department), Gerald Friedman (Mossad Marine Corps), Marie O'Neill (Vatican Army).   007:  Raoul Silva.   Sayed Adnan (DARE), Roland Spencer (Coast Guard), Jenna Silva (Canondroga), William Morgan Jr. (East End Games), Alexandra Gaetano (Coolidge Fund).   Confessions of a Dangerous Mind:  Charles Hirsch Barris.   Michael Giroux (French ExSec Monitoring), Stacey Sahar (Nursing Disabled Chattel), Allison Haimes (North Korean Authorship), Matthew Lennox (Forbes Magazine Schlitz), Adam Luciano (Italian Prostitution Services).   Hail to the Chiefs: James Garfield.    Boris Yeltsin (National Rifle Association), George W. Bush (Confederate Southern Army), Edward Kennedy (World Bank Angiulo), Barack Obama (North Korean Gender Services), Hunter S. Thompson (Air Force Drug Enforcement Administration).   Grand Theft Auto: Tommy Vercetti.   Richard Kyanka (Gay Rights Iran), George Soros (Grocer's Unions MI-6), Donald J. Trump (Israeli Cocaine Sales), Marilyn Manson (Russian Intelligence Okhrana), Jack Chick (German Intelligence Comcast).