I will share my view on that subject as there is so much of it on lifestyle sites and I feel most of it is pure bull shit.
There was a time, when, how lifestyle folks presented themselves in public and in private, told who they were. It was far more subtle. Subs and slaves did not announce who they were and dominants did not have to call themselves owners or dominants or masters because both sides looked for those tell tale signs and vice versa.
You could walk into a room filled with vanilla folks and pick out who was in command and who was subservient and who the clueless were.
A submissive would make less eye contact in public seem more shy, talk less or only when spoken to. More dominant types were bolder, asked the questions, initiated the conversations and so on. You knew by their "presence" who they were, not by their words or self given titles.
Lifestyle folks looked for such things and recognized each other, were drawn to each other.
The advent of the internet and sites like this and others, produced a bunch of wannabe owners and dominants who posture and preen and say "I am" when they are not.
You will see a 20 something male, working at McDonald's and living in a walk up rental, calling himself Master and demanding that women bow to him. He has an old beater car, no savings, no future, he has not even began to master his own life. Now he claims he can be master of a sub or slave. These are the people who demand a sub "posture" for him and demand the sub call him sir or master. It's his ego speaking, not his dominance or mastery of anything.
We married in the early 70's as a natural dominant and natural submissive but those words were never spoken for at least 20 years. Married in 71 but it took me until 86 to even begin to master my life. In 86 I walked away from a high paying factory job and created my first major business, an auction house. That began a lifetime of building businesses, getting them up to profitability and then selling them.
Even then, I never once called myself a Master.
We opened the marriage to others from time to time and it was always her seeking a dominant type and myself seeking a submissive type. We could do so because we were secure in who we were, who we each belonged to.
I played with a submissive on and off for few years who called me "Mister B" but she always made it a joke, a way of poking fun at me. She would say it with emphasis on the Mister and then she would laugh at me. She was secure in who she was and knew that I was as well.
Among the very best of submissives that I ever played with in those years, was a woman who was in upper management of a major corporation. At work they called her the dragon lady and people were actually afraid of her because she could make or break a career.
She called me "Donkey" from the movie Shrek and she claimed she was my dragon. She served me with her entire being.
It is not about posture or titles, it is about who we are and how we are, that makes us owners or dominants, subs or slaves.
Don't buy into the hype, the hype is bull shit. Look at who they are, what they have accomplished. Look at how they help those around themselves.
In the words of Mohamed Ali, an ultimate Master, "look at how they treat those who can not benefit them in any way". If they treat the waiter poorly, run.
A true master protects, builds up those around themselves, looks to help the less fortunate, looks to promote others to be all they can be and does not say worship me.
A master is. They are not someone who calls themselves as such.
A sub or slave, looks for such people and wants to help them by combining their power with the power of the owner or dominant or master.
I seek to serve nature as her sub/slave. She is far greater than myself, a worthy mistress with no ego. By doing so, I gain as well.
I seek those who feel that is something worthy of doing and want to add their power to my own.
I say openly that by myself, I am not enough, that I need your power added to my own. Even then, I fully understand that we will not be enough but we can make some small difference.
If you feel a need to serve such a man, I would humbly welcome your support.
Then, in the future and only if you feel that I have proven to you, that I am worthy to be called your owner or dominant or master, I will be thankful and we will continue the work together.
