I've been single for a long time and have been online here {and a few other sites} off an on over the years.  Always open to making frineds though if online only it can be hard to be active as life is busy. I would really like to explore submission to a Dom, Daddy, Master and local is best because it provides the opportunities to enjoy frequent time together and time for play.  Because my sexuality is intertwined with my spirit and soul, I cannot have just a physical relationship without first working on trust, admiration, enjoyment of the other person outside the bedroom also. Have been actrive in the local kink community in the past and would enjoy that again! PS I do have an exhibitionistic side and so attention is very much appreciated by this BBW!

I had a conversation yesterday that reminded me why I don’t rush access. Every so often, someone comes along who understands the difference between fantasy… and function. He didn’t come in with noise, exaggeration, or empty declarations. He understood something much more important, how to exist in both worlds without conflict. That’s rare. Because the truth is, this isn’t about cosplay. It’s not about acting out power or performing submission in isolated moments. It’s about integration. Taking what exists in this space, structure, direction, awareness, and applying it to real life in a way that actually works. Where it builds something. Where it creates value. Where it makes both people stronger, not dependent. That’s what most miss. A real dynamic doesn’t remove you from reality, it refines how you move within it. And a true leader doesn’t just command… she guides. She shapes. She diraspects with intention so that what stands beside her is not just devoted, but useful, capable, and aligned. That’s where something meaningful begins. Not in fantasy. But in what you can sustain. I think i'll keep him — Mistress Nikki Vixen aka Goddess

  PSA FOR YOU TEXT-WARRIOR, NO-ACTION “SUBS” Let’s make this real clear ‘cause some of y’all slow: this ain’t no slap-n-tickle daycare, and I ain’t your lil fantasy pen-pal. I see way too many of you running your mouth about “devotion” and “service,” but your actions stay ghost like rent day. Y’all been out here trained by hobby dommes handing out fake titles like raffle tickets! Oh congrats, you learned how to kneel for selfies and type “yes, mistress” with your thumbs. Cute. But let me remind you...I am NOT the one to play them baby games with. Let’s cut the bullshit: If your “service” starts with your nut in mind, you already disqualified. If your follow-through weaker than your WiFi signal...don’t step to me. If all you bring is paragraphs, emojis, and zero execution. You can consider yourself pre-blocked in spirit. I don’t do needy. I don’t do text pets. I don’t do “maybe later.” You get one lane and one chance: service with backbone, obedience without your ego hangin’ out, and movement I don’t gotta chase you for. Miss that lane? Cool! Your exit is already waiting with the engine running. I don’t do reindeer games. You either show up in discipline, readiness, and action, or you get shown the exit with extreme swiftness and silence.   This is not a cuddle corner for your kink curiosity. This is service with spine, obedience with precision, and presence without ego. If that sounds like too much for you, good! Go stay in the shallow end where the slap-n-tickle Dominants will praise you for a "Yes, Mistress."   This ain’t Fetlife cosplay. This is Pegstress territory! If that’s too grown for you, go back to the hobby dommes who clap for you just for showing up breathing. I’m not arguing with no sub who can’t execute. I don’t repeat myself... I'll just replace you.

My best memory of being a slave was when I met a girl called Chloe a couple of years ago. I answered an advert she had placed, seeking a slave boy. She was actually a fashion model, but was not that highly paid, so she was looking for a slave to clean her flat in West London. First she made me put on a sparkly mini dress - so she could have a good laugh at me. I had to clean her flat while wearing it. Then she would force me to go across the road to buy her a bottle of wine in the shop. The guys in the deli could barely conceal their giggles. All the time Chloe was watching from the window of her flat upstairs, and really enjoying my humiliation. When i rang on the doorbell to get back in, she would leave me there for ten minutes, so all the passers-by could see me. This was on a busy street in Paddington. She also loved to wrestle me down, just to show how much more powerful she was than me. She would straddle me, pin my arms back above my head, and squeeze my face between her thighs. One she had got me into that position, I was completely at her mercy. There was no escape. Sadly she got a boyfriend soon afterwards, so I became redundant. But I've always been looking to repeat this amazing experience.  

My car died.  It died the same day I closed on my new house/dungeon pair.  The cobblestones of my new town ate the last reserves that the power steering pump had.  I got back to the rental, 50 miles East with a ride from a friend.  I sat there for 2 weeks, trying to put together enough crap to move in.  Borrowed a truck from a friend in the local-to-my-rental, got one load made with the washer/dryer stack, got them into the new place, not installed. got back, didn't get another load for another week, on borrowed trailer, called my soon-so-be-exlandlady, who pulled the trailer, got me over with half my stuff. two weeks later, we got a 3rd load, so I am mostly moved in.   I then started in on settling down, straightening up the debris.  The dungeon will need lots of work, plenty of cash, which I have none of.  Stay tuned!

People ask me how I met my owners with all the fakes and players who are online. The following is my story. So you know, Master James had a massive stroked and passed away this year. The details are in my journal.Now, before we start, I am happily ownedI searched here and ALTcom for five years finding fakes, etc A friend of my was an INSEX model in those bdsm videos She told me to check out DomConDomCon is a twice annual BDSM convention The cities vary from year to yearAnyway, I went to the one in Atlanta and was looking around Fakes and liars dont seem to go to real conventionsAnyway, I was a single woman trying to get a table at a crowded restaurant at a huge convention Simply put, they didnt want to seat a single when they were turning tables of two or more A couple who had been in line behind me came to the hostess desk and changed their request to three people The lady smiled and asked me to join themGreat dinner, great conversation Three weeks later I sold all of my possessions in Vail, Colorado and moved to serve them in VermontWe have been happily living as Master Mistress slave and last November fifth was our eleventh anniversary as Master Mistress and slaveSo, keep the faith and consider going to a real convention You will be amazed at how many real people there actually areBest to you in your search,slave janet

Sexual ownership and use is a crucial part of what I look for and what I need. I know some look down on that, but I have my reasons. I am searching and seeking and hoping to find something I had a long time ago, a complete sense of ownership and sexual use with no say in how or when or why I was used. It was very, very sexual and I was completely at the whim of a stronger person who could take or do anything to me at any time. They did not take certain liberties, but they could have and they made sure I was very well aware of their power over me. Because that experience was the very thing that unlocked the door of servitude for me, sexuality and sex is a very crucial part  of what I need. I am not talking about my own gratification. If someone so chose, they could provide that, but that would totally be up to them. I am talking about their use of me...however THEY choose...to make THEM happy. When they are done, they can put me back in the closet, in a cage or where ever they choose. Female or male, black, white, hispanic, oriental...matters not to me as much as the opportunity to be used as an outlet for their sexual frustrations, pleasure, whatever they choose. Ask me about the experience and I will tell all about it. When I am contacted by a straight male dom, I'm never quite sure if I'm what they're looking for and often I am not. More often than not they're looking for "worker slaves" and while I am open to that and no stranger to working hard, it would not fulfill me as a slave to simply have that ect explored. Sound odd? It probably does....but my early, early experience left its mark on me forever.

Part 2  So we moved to a new bigger house and soon I discovered the brothers that would start me down the path that turned me into what I am today. So the brothers slightly older were loud , bold and of course very dominate. For the first few months things were normal , but soon things took a decidedly darker turn.   Things started with them hazing me at school , and the long walk from the bus stop . On the bus they didn't know me but as soon as we got off at the end of the street they would start , and when the girls that lived next to their house were there they puffed up and would show off , having me carry all the books , and taunt me.. I was just happy for the attention... and I got a lot of it from them, especially when summer vacation came from school . That's when things became intense.  At first it was fantasy role play , but  there was always some excuse to tie me to a tree or tie me and lead me through the forest that was behind our houses . Within a few weeks,  the clothes were off when I was tied, and they would leave to go home and get lunch , but always return with something for me. that I had to eat without hands. Then around the middle of that first summer the boys got a tent and set it up in the woods by the house,  far enough away to be partially hidden , and keep curious parents from dropping in.   The tent is where my training really began. From simple ties.  To elaborate  ties , to whipping with branches , to inserting things in me , the summer flew by and I finally felt I belonged , I felt the brothers cared for me , and wanted me , and I wanted to please , I ed to nothing for fear I would again be alone if I did. I remember feeling it was wrong somehow, but I didn't care , I was wanted, and that was all that matter. As things continued to progress they seemed to take good of their roles and the pain became more intense as the whipping increased in both duration and force . The  s I was to take and hold inside became bigger. One day one brother had me tied over a stool  in the tent and was working a candle in me. After he had covered me with the hot wax  from the same candle. when the other brother came over pulled my hair to raise my head and stuck his crotch in my face I could feel his hard cock under the jeans as he rubbed across my face.. I moaned and bucked forward as the candle went deep , and I was pushed into those jeans ,I could feel the heat , and the dampness from his precum. That was to much I guess and before I knew it his pants were off and his hard cock was pushing against my lips I felt a sharp pain as a paddle came down hard on my ass,  and I opened my mouth to protest and it was immediately filled with a hard  cock.  It made me gag and my eyes tearup , but it felt good and he was holding my head , and telling me to relax and how good it felt , so me being the submissive I am, i relaxed into the feelings and took as much of him as I could . He held my head firm , and began to stroke my mouth Stopping occasionally so I could catch my breath , and he could make sure I was alright. It made me feel good , wanted and in my own way loved.  Upon seeing this the other brother started rubbing his hard cock on my ass and between my  cheeks. He took out the candle and put something cool over my hole and pushed his fingers in and moved them around to spread what he had applied , next I felt something hard and warm push against me and begin to slide in , it was about the size of the candlethat was just removed.  But softer , I felt him slide in until his body was hitting mine. It hurt not bad , but an exciting hurt . It was something crazy, and naughty , but felt so good . All at once  things began to flow ,and each alternated their thrusts so I was being bounced between the two hard cocks inside me I had two hands on my head , and two on my waist pulling me deep in each direction. I felt wonderful despite the pain,  I relaxed and began to not only enjoy it but make it better ,I used my tongue and lips on the hard cock in my mouth , and  I began to contract my muscles to squeeze the cock in my ass . To soon the brother fucking my ass began to come, I didn't want him to pull out so I ground back on his still hardcock , and kept him inside until the other brother came in my mouth. It was hot and tasted strange , both brothers fell back to the floor of the tent laughing , that laugh you have when you just finished a great orgasm . Me I was still bound to the stool  but I was squirming , holding my mouth open wanting more . I had changed during those  last few minutes , and became a sexual animal ,  lost my innocence, virginity and any dominance  that might have remained.  I felt more loved and wanted than I ever had before and I knew I was meant to serve and destined to be a toy for hard cocks , and much later wet pussies, but that's a story for another day .  So the brothers fucking me became a daily thing that summer , and would spend many nights camping out tied in someway usually covered on cum.  When school started things were different , I wasnt hazed,  the brothers treated me like a prized pet , taking care of me protecting me , making me feel I belonged.  Sex became more rare , only ocassionally away from the tent  and maybe on weekends as the brothers began to have other Activities and friends , we had several more summers , but none as intense as that first one when they brought me out . By the last summer with them I was insatiable. I was addicted and they knew it . They begin to have other freinds join our camp outs , and they would always have me pleasure their guests,  one time I time I remember they had several freinds over , I was made to jerk off in a bowl in front of all of them , then suck each one until they came each in turn adding their cum to bowl. Then I was made to lap the cum from the bowl and move on all fours  while they all talked and drank some liquor one of boys took from his home . Soon I was tied , and once again the center of attention as I was fucked, and whipped until everyone fell asleep . This was one of the last times we were together , they had both grown and had girlfriends , so I was not as important , they did have one more surprise for me before we were done . This starts another chapter in my life ... for next time . 

I am less and less impressed with doms on this site. I keep seeing all these profiles about "there are so many game players!!!" and "I'm looking for something REAL!!!"..."I don't tolerate LIARS!!!" So ok...you're intolerant of game players, sick of liars. I tell you the truth. I am right up front with the good, the bad, the ugly. You can read through my journal and see that. I understand I am not anyone's idea of physical perfection. I've stated that over and over again. So we get to a certain point, you're impressed with how much I seem to understand the role of a sub/slave...and then...despite this, boom...you suddenly ghost. No explanation, no response...just. ghost. I understand that you're playing the role of the big bad dom and you have to maintain this BS, including a first email saying something like "KNEEL SLAVE!!" right off the bat instead of a "hey...how are you? Nice profile...etc." However, it's simple human decency..."I'm sorry, you're very cool, but I don't feel like you're something I'm looking for." Especially after a slew of messages back and forth.If you're tired of liars and game players, then don't be one of the fools lying or playing games and wasting peoples' time and emotions.

In Januaury of last year I started a path I never saw myself doing... I hired a trainer and started working out 4 days a week... I feel like there should have been a betting pool, or something, because I NEVER expected to be on that same path a year and four months later...but here I am, healthier, at least 40 pounds lighter, and feeling so much better, physically, mentally, emotionally and about myself. I constatnly amaze myself with things, like how four years ago my doctors said I'd never lift more than 10 pounds... last Wednesday, I did dead lifts at 205 pounds for 5 reps... or how they said I would never be able to handle running again, I started jogging on the treadmill (supervised of course) and have a total of 5 minuets over 2 days, not bad for something I haven't done in over 20 years, and for someone with "heart failure"... In the last 20 years of my life, I've gone from an active live to inactive, a 30 waist to a 46, now back down to a 38, inching (get it?) closer to 36 actually... and all I can thinks is "Wow! I really like doing this!" You see, when I was a kid, it was the "jocks" the weightlifters, the football ogres, I mean players, that bullied harrased and made me feel insecure about being gay, if only they tried that today... anyhow, I never figured that this training I do now would be enjoyable because of that. Actually it's more than enjoyable. I get out of bed in the mornings with energy, ready to conqure my day and all that it throws at me! All because one day, I decided I wasn't gonna let heart failure win. Because I decided to be a healtheir, better me. And because I literally dared myself to do it! Who knows, maybe in a few weeks I'll give a progress update...

Another day, another journal entry... This is subMeghan, once again announcing to you all that as I type this I am naked, wearing only my collar (and glasses), just as my Dom wishes...  and his wish, is my command... I got several follow-up messages regarding my last journal entry. So here are some of the details you all demanded to know. I was tied to a wooden chair with a high back.  Yes, my legs were spread wide apart with each ankle pulled back and tied to a back leg of the chair in such a way that only my toes touched the ground.  My wrists were tied together behind my back and behind the back of the chair. No, I was not blindfolded, but my Dom did remove my glasses.  Oh course I was naked.  (I don't know why someone would have thought otherwise.) As my Dom was going to leave me alone like this while he went to the grocery store, no nipple clamps, no clothes pins were used.  No ball gag was used.  Nothing extreme.  We wanted to play it safe since I'd be alone.  Although I would have preferred it, I was not allowed to have a virbrator.  All in all, this was a relatively easy position to maintain. No, I did not try and escape.  Again, I was alone and that might be dangerous. Let's see...  My dom was gone for at least an hour.  So basically I just sat there and waited.  When he came home, he did not immediately untie me, but rather did a few things first.  When he did untie me, he directed me to go and put the groceries away, which I did... I think that answered everybody's questions. If not, let me know... I hope you all have a great holiday weekend. subMeghan  

We all know how much of a PITA it is to update profiles...so here's a 2022 UPDATE Current age range I'm seeking is 36 y.o. to 44 y.o.  I get a lot of bizarre, whiny complaints about My education requirements. Three things: First, I don't give af about your opinion.  Second, it's been My experience that most men really struggle being in a relationsip with a woman who has significantly more education...something about those delicate egos.  Third, if you have a high enough IQ you'd already assume the first two and would send Me a brilliant intro making it irrelevant.  Facial hair is and always will be a hard limit, lol

  My story  Where to start ? I like many Tgs, I started at a very young age , i was treated different , family members dressed me in effeminate clothes,  and taught me domestic skills , sewing cooking,  cleaning , serving food and beverage to others. Already trained as a feminine physical submisive by the time I was 6 . I had my first encounter with 2 sisters that lived across the street.  We were playing in their back yard , and they had me get  in a big cardboard box.. Where I grew up backyards were very large and acre or 2 so a backyard seemed immense, and you could be isolated yet still be in the yard . Amy way  they started telling me a story about giant would challange their pray , before they devoured it. As they told the story , they had me strip , to show the spiders I would follow the orders , soon I was in a box naked with the girls holding my clothes . My last test to prove to the spider I should not be devoured would be to stay in the box until they returned . I stayed in the box the rest of the day until it got dark . Then the oldest sister came out and dropped my clothes in the box and told me I could go and one day would make someone very happy. I got dressed and hurried home as fast as I could , but i had missed dinner and it was dark , two rules icouldn't break.  I walked into the house to the waiting belt of my father and the screams and swats of my mother for being late . Though the pain was intense I was used to it , to me this is how parents showed theoir love.  And unknown to me at the time  was about to come next in the new house . Sometimes  I still wonder what happened to the sisters  they moved a few weeks later , and my family  moved a  months later.  

A lot of people here are searching for their self.  I appreciate this and encourage it. I am not searching for myself.  I know who I am and what I am looking for in life and in partner(s) - I SEEK PRESENCE.  I SEEK SERVICE.  I SEEK COMMITTMENT. I am POLY.  My household and those whom you would be serving are TWO WOMEN - MOTHER AND MYSELF.  Service to mother is doing anything I would do for her. I am POLY.  I choose to have relationships with MORE THAN ONE MAN AND UNDER THE SAME ROOF.  Do not contact me if you cannot handle being part of a FAMILY. SAFE SANE AND CONSENSUAL - RISK AWARE - NOTHING UNHEALTHY UNSAFE OR ILLEGAL.  CONTRACTS get to the nitty gritty of the outline WE follow in our engagements and where we may draw outside of the lines.  They also discuss YOUR CONTRIBUTION(S) to our home, STD's, Emergency Contacts, Health status and a lot more. YOU SUBMIT TO ME.  That means YOU start the process with WHAT YOU SUBMIT TO.  Dont come to me stating you will do anything or with your list of likes.  Come to me with a readiness to live this life REAL TIME FULL TIME WITH A FEMALE HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD. If you are looking to life a life, chained up in my basement, eating my scraps from a dog bowl, or better still only eating shit, you better come with a handler as well.  Be of genuine and sincere value to this home and to me and my family and be seeking to belong to a family.              

REPOST FROM JUNE 1ST LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR!!!!! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!! I AM NOT INTO THE SISSY ect OF THIS. I ALREADY HAVE ONE AND ONE IS ENOUGH. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE OUTSIDE OF MICHIGAN!!! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE OLDER THAN 40 YEARS OLD!!! THESE ARE NOT OPEN TO DEBATE!!!

Hey Mistress **I am not your Mistress** Sorry hello Ma'am how are you, Will you do to me the things you do? Whips and Canes and all that stuff, I have "sub" frenzy and can't get enough, Yes I will say all the right things but never do them true, I am a shadow wanker and cum while messaging you. **No I won't, you ignored my needs, Didn't read my profile or even glance through my feed, So my needs have zero to do with what you seek, Pushing yourself first and certainly not meek,* Oh Ma'am your voice makes my knees go weak, (In boy speak damn I hope my load is expelled before she peaks) So off he went that newbie quick, without a clue on how to be mine he was such a dick, Yes we know it happens but 4 in one day, The shadow wanker news must be actively pushing my name. Obedience to me is what I like, Some laughter and a bare derriere in sight, A man who asks my consent, Before he wanks and becomes spent, Then in a restaurant a respectful man, Simping on me doing all he can, Hanging up my coat & pulling out my chair, Fetching all I need his excellent manners beyond compare, No age doesn't always develop better, Self-aware submission daily melts his mind to fetter, Only offer what you can do for me, Servant, sweetheart long term be, Fetter and bind that will to me, So he begs never to be free.

 Captive Desire   The night was quiet, save for the occasional creak of the house settling. Olivia Bennett sighed, shutting her laptop with a soft click. Midnight again. She stretched, rolling the tension from her shoulders, and glanced around the empty house.   Jake was away on business. Connor was at a sleepover.   It was just her.   And then—a sound.   A soft, deliberate thud from the garage.   Her pulse spiked. She sat still, listening, waiting. The house held its breath.   Another sound—this time a scrape, like something dragging across concrete.   Her heart hammered as she stood. Probably nothing. A box falling, the wind knocking over the broom—something harmless.   Still, she grabbed her phone and padded downstairs, flicking on the hallway light. The garage door loomed ahead.   She hesitated.   Then, hand trembling, she unlocked it and stepped into the cool, dimly lit space.   The scent of motor oil and dust filled her nose. Her car sat untouched. The shelves were undisturbed. Everything looked normal.   A sigh of relief left her lips—   And then the light went out.   Darkness swallowed her.   The shift in the air was immediate.   A presence.   Her breath hitched.   Before she could move, strong arms wrapped around her, yanking her back against a hard, unyielding chest. A gloved hand clamped over her mouth, stifling her scream.   Hot breath tickled her ear.   “Shhh,” a low, masculine voice murmured. “Don’t fight it.”   Her pulse slammed against her ribs.   She struggled, kicking, thrashing—but he was too strong.   A thick cloth pressed to her mouth, something sickly sweet invading her senses. Her limbs grew heavy. The world tilted.   Darkness.   She woke to a whisper against her skin.   The air was thick, warm, carrying the scent of something rich—cologne, leather, danger.   She stirred, wrists bound above her, ankles tied to the posts of a bed—his bed.   Her breath caught.   The room was dim, candlelit, casting flickering shadows against dark wooden walls.   And then—him.   A man, clad in all black, standing at the foot of the bed. A mask hid his face, smooth and featureless, but his presence was commanding.   Powerful.   He trailed a gloved hand down her leg, slow, possessive.   “I’ve been watching you, Olivia,” he murmured. “Waiting for the right moment.”   A shiver coursed through her.   She should be terrified. She was terrified. But beneath the fear, something darker stirred. Something she didn’t want to name.   He knew.   His fingers traced the delicate lace of her nightgown, teasing along the hem.   “I wonder,” he mused, voice velvety, “how long you’ll resist before you give in.”   She swallowed hard. “I—I won’t.”   He chuckled, low and knowing. “No?”   His hand moved higher.   Her breath hitched.   Her body betrayed her.   Heat pooled in her core, a flush rising to her skin.   He leaned closer, breath fanning over her lips. “Your body says otherwise.”   She turned her face away, but he caught her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze—though she couldn’t see his eyes, she felt his dominance.   “Tell me to stop,” he whispered.   She parted her lips—   But the words never came.   He hummed in approval. “That’s what I thought.”   And then his mouth was on her, claiming her.   Possessive. Insatiable.   A captor. A stranger. A master of her pleasure.   And she let him take her.   Over.   And over.   Until she forgot what it felt like to be free.  

"life is full of endings that you never know are coming until they already pass"I wrote that quote in high school. Some of us learn and grow and im grateful that many things have been learned. Some answers will never be known for sure from my journey here in this lifetime. A new chapter is starting and perhaps the last chapter . Today i finally got to start moving things to a new home . A home that I feel will be my last but things are never certain and I have learned you have to live in the moment and ride each wave. I feel the shift of energy in the earth but I also know that things must shift so they can heal and balance. My Master Mate and Husband and I have been through many things in these last three years. We have grown and we intend to keep growing together. I have learned about the light and the dark. I have learned about walking paths. I have learned about consequences for actions. I have learned about addiction . I have learned what vanilla mindsets are like and how many of those could just things that are spiritual and misunderstood. I have definitely learned and experienced Dominance and submission through mind body soul spirit and energy. We cant protect people from all pain all we can do is try to guide but some lessons must always be learned by the being. It feels good to write, its been awhile since I sat down and let words flow. There is always new beginnings

Are you carrying heavy loads you wish would go away or that you could move away from them? Galatians 6:2 says we should carry each others burdens. We should come together to exhort and lift one another up. When two or more are gathered in Christ's name, He is with them. He also promises to give you rest when you are weary and burdened. As Christians we are not to use biased judgement or prejudice against another whether they be Christian or not. Christ is working behind the scenes and they very well could be saved even if their life doesn't look like it from your perspective. We should encourage one another to be loving, kind, blameless, and to love God and one another, enemies included. Seek godly wisdom and understanding. Be moved towards allowing Christ to evolve you from the inside out. Let your adorning be more inwards than it is outwards. The Bible is filled with practical truths that help you to show love, act in love, love others, love God, and even forgive and love an enemy. All scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. Please turn to Jesus today, he loves you enough to not leave you where you are. Life is a journey are you allowing him to walk it with you? 

1/25/25 Are there Dommes of quality in New England or NYC?     As I have said in my profile, I'm nominally a dominant man, very much the take-charge sort of person, and have fully explored D/s as a MDom. I was hoping that there would be a few Dommes who could make my head spin, my heart race, and shift my libido into overdrive. Someone to make me want to throw caution to the wind and put myself in your hands, kneel and worship you.     Sadly, the landscape is pretty barren, barely out of school “dommes’ who want money, or others who wouldn’t catch my eye on the street. Engage my mind as well as my libido and I will worship and please you as only a well-rounded, complete man can.  

"The Grimoire of Urban Flora: Sacred Sexuality, Healing, and Transformation" this has been weeks coming. i finally got to do the audio review of urban flora. not just a music review..but a review in the context of the sacred spirituality power dynamic i do. with a mindset of mermaid energy. i go over briefly the summary of the energetics of the dark goddess sophia vibe, the dark god archangel michael male energy, where i get this from and the set up of why i see alina baraz's urban flora album as a guidebook aka grimoire for women like us..who love men like this. in this nature. too keep in the mermaid theme besides explaining a summary, all of it is in audio format to continue with the water theme. while i didn't record it on a water day or water planetary hour. i am rectifying it by releasing it today mercury day during mercury hour in my time zone for extra energetic effect. you're like a wave, pulling me underneath, there's a universe inside of you, i can make you feel, can i undress you, let them wash away your pain, what's a king without a queen, chasin your pretty thoughts   https://audiomack.com/sophia-starseed/song/the-grimoire-of-urban-flora-sacred-sexuality-healing-and-transformation imagine sick ass water images because on my other social media it's there and it adds to the effect and the formatting of collarme has nerffed the message. oh well.

I used to post all the time I feel.  Thease went away for far too long and i've gotten out of practice.As submissive as I am, I need and MUST respect the person(s) that I submit to and serve.  It pains me to say and write this, but I think I need to.  If you are supportative of Trump, no matter what your reason, I do not respect you.Talking why's and reasons are unneeded.  Things are so polarized now, that most people know why or why not.   Though if you want to talk, I'm open to polite discuession and debate.what about serving other Republicians who don't support Trump?   That is a very strong "it depends".I'm a huge huge huge fan of Freedom(funny enough huh?  ;). ), and things like extreme strictness abortion laws where women are at risk of dying, as well as this Moms for liberity crap and banning books seems very much like restricting freedom and Control.So the "it depends" depends a lot on your views and values overall, as well as your acceptance of mine.   Because with what I say above?  I'd imagine there are many a Republician who have similar feelings about people with my views.  Though after this post, I doubt few republicians would care to speak with me.

7/31/2024 6:49:25 PM   A very warm and grateful send out to those who have contacted Me to share of their own story and their strength and well wishing.  This was quite unexpected and I appreciate the consideration shown and stories shared.  My very best to you and yours and thank you for the kindness, it means much and has indeed given Me some strength in carrying on.  xox

7/25/24- Theres a part of our dynamic that doesnt seem to be acknowleged for what it is..  " Our aim is to connect with the right female who resonates with the idea and has the desire of joining a household but specifically our household... My first girl oversees everyone when I am not present, as work takes me for periods of time. Your domestic duties in the home would be light as its shared amongst the three of you. Simple mundane tasks that your basic upkeep any nucular family household would require, with opportunities to take on more responsibilities if desired over time. Your outward role may be that of a “roommate” or a "housekeeper” to those who don’t know the lifestyle," No this doesn't mean were looking for a maid. We're looking for a sub  and were trying to make it clear that we expect other people to not understand the lifestyle choices everyone makes and that if you are living in this house you will have house responsibilities and expected to help keep it clean. This is common sense. Yes there are two other females in this home but that doesn't mean you don't get to do anything but be in a bed 24/7.... I mean we have to let you out to shower at some point right?  All jokes aside- hoping to find a sub that is service orientated, has slave tendency, or wants to be a slave.  

PROFILE UPDATE, JULY 2023:Looking for mentally and emotionally rich connections with intelligent, curious, playful people. Gender and/or location are not important to me, as long as there's chemistry.Online is essential, at least until a lot of trust is established.I'm educated, eloquent, and can write messages in (more than) full sentences. I adore getting to know people. Sharing fantasies, embarking on intimate explorations of our shadowy sides, learning what makes people tick, and pushing buttons.Kink-wise I enjoy the mental aspects over the physical: Power exchange, task-setting, humiliation, devotion, worship, chastity, teasing and denial, hypnosis, intoxication, psychological manipulation, magic and mindgames.Also up for making friends, casual chat, and mentorship. I'm very friendly and up for talking to anybody so feel free to say hi, whoever you might be.

One got to love those indecisive str8 males. They know what they want, crave it, and dream with it. However, they are terrified to discover their true desires which for against their concept of masculinity. I am well aware of the effect I have on males in general. But in the case of indecisive str8 males I am terrifiying. not good looking, not a body to look at, but full of attitude and a very noticeable bulge that is always an eye catcher. I understand the conflict, there is a struggle between what the body is telling them and what their rational mind opposes. The truth is that there is a physiological contradiction; the find themselves aroused and painfully hard and their hole quivering and wet. not into guys, never had been, so what's is wrong? Nothing is wrong, the fact and plain truthe is that they found a male a man that swept them off their feet and there is no denying; the want to be close and to feel the totality of  a sexuality that now awakened refuse to retreat.  They can rationalize all they can and they can flatly denny the obvious but the fact remains the proud str8 male fell for another more powerful male! What to do? Society, religion, the wife or gf at home, and the friends know this male as a man man , and now he is still is but there is an interest a craving, a thirst that only another man (me) que quench and there is the conflict that can only be solved by surrendering and realizing that there is no label only an expansion of sexuality; a top and leader in public and asubmissive with the man that owns your most treasured space; your virginity. Step Up to the plate be a man and give your body what you now now it needs; a true male a Bull. 

I have not been writing much in this journal but hoping it might just perk someone's interest. I just moved back from Texas and now living in Northwest Indiana. About 20 minutes from downtown chicago and live in Schererville just across the Illinois border. I have been on this site for many years unsuccessfully and still hold out hope to finally achieve my goal of serving a strong, Dominant Woman. I can assure You am for real and today the first of Decmember once again spending another birthday allone. I am not evil, and have met some off the site which has not amounted to anything . I am on Fetlife under subndyer and started to branch to other  sites. I still hold out hope on this site. Am a single submissive which can be molded into a slave who has been off and on in the lifestyle for about 20 years. I have no children , no wife , girlfriend, hell dont even have a dog. But can assure You my loyality, respect, obedience, and You happiness is first priority. If I perk Your interest please drop me a line would not disappoint

It is different...I know a number of widows, who are remarried to widowers... I kind of thought it a little odd until I became a widow myself. I wondered, are grief groups like the only place to meet someone once you are a widow? Are grief groups like speed dating after a while, you start going through the people there until you settle down with one because, well, at that age that is what is left? But like I said, then I became a widow... I "joined the club" no one would ever wish for anyone to ever have to join... and I get it now. It is a club. We get each other in ways others don't. It wasn't a divorce, it was a death. We will always love them. We will always speak fondly of them. Our eyes will always water at their memory. Their birthday, our anniversary, the anniversary of their death... will always be hard days. There might be children in our lives that will always will need to be comforted, and allowed space to honor their memories and love for the person. However, there is still a need for companionship again at some point. Room for love again. Desire for tactile touch of another human being on our starved bodies... It is hard to explain to someone outside the club that just because we speak fondly, cry occasionally, tell funny stories about... doesn't mean we somehow care less about our current relationship. We aren't comparing them, we aren't seeing which one is better. We are in the present with them now, and we are happy to be there... We just came with baggage, and it isn't bad baggage, we just need to be allowed to have it...

Today might become a special day for me.  It's the day I decided to fully give in, and commit to my sissy nature.  The very first time I'm actively searching for a dominant 24/7 owner to serve as live-in sissy maid.  Of course I'm aware that for such a complex and intimite dynamic to work, it's quiet important to get to know and learn about eachother for more than two days, but not afraid to admit that this is what I am hoping to find.  An experienced dom who knows how to control, condition, and further sissify me.  It's crazy what can happen in a year or two.  A rather vanilla straight male, transforming into a submissive obidient sissy crossdresser.  So proud that one by one, I started exposing myself to my family and friends.  Almost everybody knows now...  And I'm actually proud of myself that I did!   Yet I wonder?  Could all this actually be the result of the hypno I've been listening for some time now?  Who knows...    Interested dominants or sissy sisters, I'm always in for a chat...  Feel free to dm.    Love Nikita 😊      

Recently I've been having some fun on another site that specializes in Doms keeping subs in chastity. So last night I had this one guy... mid 30s... glasses.. looks like a real computer nerd approach me. I was not going to give him the time of the day and I sensed he was going to be a bit of a brat. But he begged, begged and pleaded. Eventually after a lot of negotiating and exchanging some links I agreed to put his dumb ass in chastity for a simple 2 hr lock. Guess how many times he messged me begging to be released during that 2 hour  span of time. 37x. I can't make this shit up even if I tried lol.  So naturally when I returned to the site after getting dolled up for the day I see the messages. And I'm pissed. Becuase I specifically told him to sit his ass in the corner with his cage on and butt plug in and wait for me to return. He got called every name after the sun which I'm sure he enjoyed and I extended the timer for the rest of the day. I also have access to his dildo machine via lovesense and let's just say today he could barely sit down without a pillow. He thanked me this morning :) he loved it. 

had forgotten i can leave 'journal entries'.   i've been unowned for almost nine years... or so?  i've kinda lost track. That's a long time to be wild. To be a stray. i've kinda settled into being alone.  i'm in no hurry to fall into someones lap again.  i read a lot of profiles here, see a lot of pictures, get a decent amount of messages from people who clearly haven't taken the time to learn about me.  Still makes me shake my head. i wonder sometimes if i belong here... The bulk of Doms here seem to want only a slave... they want to bruise and abuse, and hey, that's fine... for them, and for the people who seek that kind of... treatment. It's NOT for me though.  i don't exist to be treated like that.  i won't, be treated like that. i'm on vanilla dating sites too.  Coz, why not. Tossin that line into multiple ponds in hopes of finding -Him-.  While a lot of my views are vanilla, a lot aren't.  i feel like i don't really belong anywhere... i hope... one day, i will find someone as rare and unique as i am. Who wants to own me, train me, take care of me... bring out the utter best of me so that i can return it all back to Him. May those reading on this Halloween, find lots of treats, and enough tricks to make it interesting.

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

As an experienced Dominant in the leather community, I can certainly understand the appeal of consensual objectification within a safe, sane space. When I discover that my submissive derives pleasure from being treated as an object of desire, it elicits a complex range of emotions.   There is a sense of power and control, knowing I can shape their experience and push the boundaries of their submission. But there is also a deep well of trust and responsibility that comes with that. I must handle their vulnerability with the utmost care, ensuring their needs are met even as I strip away their agency.   It's a delicate dance, really.    On one hand, there’s the thrill of reducing them to a mere plaything for my enjoyment.    On the other hand, there’s the profound connection of being entrusted with their most intimate desires. It's a privilege to be granted that level of trust and intimacy. And with that privilege comes the duty to wield it wisely, to push just to the edge without ever compromising their safety or well-being.   Does that resonate with you? The heady mix of control and care, power and responsibility? Please speak to me, and let us explore this dynamic further in the confines of our sacred space.

Really annoyed that my profile is now blank. I updated it two days ago, only changing my age and the date listed at the bottom as the last time it was updated, and yet there is nothing there, now. Here is what it should say:   I am not currently looking for a relationship. I have decided that I need to take some time to work on myself before considering pursuing another relationship.I am happy to talk to people, but please be respectful.  I am a geek, a gamer, an artisan, and a mom. I am not interested in anyone elses fetishes. I do not care if you are horny. I am not here to help anyone get off. None of my pictures are less than two years old. I no longer look like I do in them. I am slightly thinner -- I think I've lost about 50lbs since the most recent of these pictures were taken -- and my hair is about six inches long all over as I work on growing it back out after shaving it all off to an inch long. Updated February 28, 2024

Slave's Supplications or devotions Slave's Supplications or devotions: I beg you to use me for your pleasure. I desire nothing more than to be an that you can use for your enjoyment at any time. I beg You to allow me to please you. I beg to be made to live to worship you. Make me give you thanks when you honor me with punishment at your hand. My real punishment is having failed, and having disappointed you I would not deserve your attention. My body and mind are your property, now and until you may decide you have no further use for me. I beg you to make me feel your ownership of me everyday. Please, make me feel Your power over me, and Your total control of my life. I submit willingly to your power and domination. Please, make me feel my submission and your control throughout my day. I want to obey, serve and please you. Please allow me the privilege of calling you Master. I realize my sexuality and my orgasms are now your property, allowed to me as a special gift. I beg you to punish me severely if I ever have an orgasm without permission. I choose willingly to be treated as your property. I beg you to own me utterly and completely. I beg you to make me behave, and be a good boy/girl. Please allow me the privilege of your discipline when I misbehave. I beg you to control my clit/cock. When I may touch it, when it may be excited and when it may come. I know my cock/clit now belongs to you. I beg to be your property. Please help me become your greatest treasure. Living in Your Grace, my Master my God.

hello I feel the need to write a post. I  have been on here trying to seek someone to help me maybe come out of my shell. Yet I get messages from so called men or Doms on here that think that a woman should bow down to them. Act there kings when there not. Some one here can't act like slave Masters, well slavery days have been long gone. Some on here want to just act out storie, if I wanted that I would read a book, or wat h a movie. I have brains and a strong willed femal. I know what I want and don't want. I will not be talked to like I'm less then a woma. yes I came on here to meet someone to help me come out of my shell. Yes I stated I wanted to try anal play, I have never had anal but open to trying tha. No o don't want bruised or have my boobs tied up for what pain, or marks on my boobs no, do you want you dick tied up and bruised?? Well done might but still. Just maybe I'm on the wrong sit. uggg this is frustratin!!!!!!!

Therapy was downright brutal tonight. Reliving and explaining childhood medical trauma I wouldn't wish on anyone. That shit is hard. So many unwanted tears. Present day, I mean. Back then it was screaming and crying because that was the only power I had when I was on a cold metal table in a dark room by myself and had to keep perfectly still. I screamed when I was allowed to move between tests. Spending time in that memory makes me feel powerless and angry and really fucking emotional. After the session was over my therapist told to me to snuggle my dog, which I am always happy to do. And then I dropped in on my latest obsession. I discovered these coloring videos, but they use markers and create very detailed pictures beyond what is on the page. I mean, it's still coloring, but it's intricate. I like it. I want to do it. Yes, you're right. I already ordered the markers. And um, a book or two. Small happiness. Especially after living in that memory. Childhood me survived, and mostly grown up me is in charge. Less trauma. More coloring. 

So I've been getting a lot more hate messages from MAGATs of late.  I'm thinking it may be because the midterms are quickly approaching and they know new days will be dawning.  Some say this is not the place to express my political views.  I'd respond that my views are more about not wanting to attract tRumpanzees with no moral compass than being political.  But I'm often blocked after they show their asses which is ok.  I have no interest in convincing them they're ignorant pieces of shit if they still think he's a good president who is doing great things for this wonderful country. It boggles my mind to think there are still people who are supportive of him after its clear he needs to  be in prison or a nursing home. And that they're eager to defend him and vocalize their ignorance.  I'd be glad to have civil and intelligent discourses with them but they don't seem to be able to do that.  So AGAIN I will say PLEASE keep on strolling if you don't like what I have to say. That's the purpose of my rants.  Thank you for your attention to this matter. lol  

my first entry since i created my account.   Its only a thinking about how much difficult to have a relationship with a person, normally its already difficult with vanilla, because you have the choice of saying your "truly desire" or just lie, like a lot of other kinkster. I did the first because i dont like to lie, trust is important, even if after this will be difficult. Then if youre lucky like me your vanilla romance can be transformed into a kinky romance. But ahaha, luck with me came only in half, she liked the kinky community but shes a dom and.. im a dom. Then having sub, slave and partner play came really fast to us, but the problem is...  I can releave my desire of spanking, doing general sadism, experiments this with her with complicity but.. Sexual desire, humiliation, degradation and dicipline/domination i can't! because both of us are dom! If the person beside you is a kinky person this can be helped but if that not the case, youre doomed! After 8 years of relationship, we will broke, not because we dont love each others but because of the path we need to take separatly. Being a kinkster if you didnt find a person to walk with you at this long life and with the same desire, same way of living, some time this will broke or you will broke. make the good choice, and assume it. only like this you will never regret it. 

Values beyond the flesh So often I hear from ladies how this guy just wants sex, that guy just wants nudes, or even in a local trend "Doms" charging sex for scenes claiming they deserve it for all the work which gets put in by them :eyeroll: The desires of the flesh leaves so much unseen. The beauty of the mind, warmth of a heart, passions of ones soul have always been so captivating to me. Even at a young age in gradeschool I found myself writing poems well beyond my years. I was recognizing the fact that the flesh fades. Wrinkles will form. The body changes with stress, kids, injuries, and any number of factors which life throws our way. That "perfect wrapper" was purely a deception and the true beauty laid so much deeper. So over the years I dated ladies of a wide range of physical descriptions. Race, weight, disabilities, prior traumas, were not detractors but seen as part of the history she had lived and what helped shape her into the wonderful person she was. I put my heart and soul into the relationship easing away the scars revealing the beautiful lady which laid beneath all those layers. In return I was presented with someone stronger, wiser, and more loving than ever before. It was a healthy wonderful exchange with great rewards. I took on many scars of my own over the years. My face is wrinkled with the stress of it all. My heart is tired and sore. For all that I took on in my life I have been showing the wear and tear. Even still I hear those same complaints. Nomatter the smiles I try to bring the story is always the same. Lady's will complain about all the heartache brought by such disgusting leaches which drink their heart and soul dry all while overlooking the guy who can truly love them and treat them as they truly deserve. As more than a piece of flesh, but as that person deserving of support, compliments, a partner truly there for them in this life. The person standing right there next to her through all this heartache crying his own tears at her pain. The one called upon in distress, but never seen truly.  

Boy Speak Boy speak is what he really means when he says one thing but means another, Thinking that he is talking to his mind-reading  mother! But I think I want to say you are a prude, Means he wants his ass fucked and will be rude, Why not Goddess do that for me, Means be my dispensing unit I can see. Go on I will do the kink you want, Means no he won't it's just a taunt. Sure I want to meet but tell me now, How you'll have me cum but I won't bow. Nor will I meet or be respectful at your feet,  Says he. So a kinky twat bottom he will remain you see.     My answer is: No fetish service the dommes4U was never set, Never made active I see you lament. Lament at your loss for a second at a time, When I moved on relieved you won't be Mine.   A Dominant Woman am I to be taken on meals and fun days out, To laugh together while you Mine will happily move about, Being useful funny and sweet. That's is the real-time Slave I want at My feet.   What's that you can't cope if I am Poly, As you want a porn image Mistress-dolly. Silly boy with that boyspeak of yours pouring out, I moved on more men worth my time to chat about.

It must be said as it is, not all str8 males that submit wish or desire the full and total dominance by their Master. Most str8 males feel the abyss that open between them and their percieved sexuality and that casm devours all their idea of their str8 nature as they conceived it. They know they've found their man, a better man, one that surpasses their own masculinity and the want to serve, comply, and surrender all their being. But, do they? It is very hard for a str8 male to get used to being looked at sexually by another male, especially if that male is stripping their identity piece by piece. Not easy to accept but like a moth to a flame, impossible to ignore. However, curiosity can be damming and once all social structures are removed they are alone with  the man they fear and are attracted to. This process is what I call taming. Like a fine horse you must earn the trust and eventually they will on their own volition allow and almost beg to be mounted. Yet, their idea of themselves is from now on in crisis mode; outside assertive and powerful but deep inside they know better and that conflict can any be resolved in the bedroo. In cuckold scenes he is forced" by the female and he submits to what he always wanted but feared to accept. Not that they are pleasing their woman, that is only the official version; but inside, deep they knew it will end that way and it is fine. For a line str8 male, one that chooses the bull that starstrucke them on their own is different; they are lat a loss. How can they feel that lust and attraction is they are Str8, they are not into guys but "this man is different." This man deserves all they can offer and it is an impossible feeling, who to blame, where to hide? That's were I come in, guiding, shaping, and reforming. However, as I push the boundaries that sometimes there is a hard line in the sand and that line, for now is a limit the str8 male is not willing to cross. For example, sending or taking them to a barh house or telling them to perform in person the things they've been taking pictures and sending. Once you get to that like if the bull relents his authority is shattered  In that case one must let go and release that sub. The will come back and beg to be taken back with conditions, don't. It must always be my way and my pleasure, that simple. If they cross that line you have tamed a fine specimen, one that will serve you and thank you for it.  Str8 males are not sissies that is another reality, one that I will address in time. 

A young woman asked me a question about posturing I will share my view on that subject as there is so much of it on lifestyle sites and I feel most of it is pure bull shit. There was a time, when, how lifestyle folks presented themselves in public and in private, told who they were. It was far more subtle. Subs and slaves did not announce who they were and dominants did not have to call themselves owners or dominants or masters because both sides looked for those tell tale signs and vice versa. You could walk into a room filled with vanilla folks and pick out who was in command and who was subservient and who the clueless were. A submissive would make less eye contact in public seem more shy, talk less or only when spoken to. More dominant types were bolder, asked the questions, initiated the conversations and so on. You knew by their "presence" who they were, not by their words or self given titles. Lifestyle folks looked for such things and recognized each other, were drawn to each other. The advent of the internet and sites like this and others, produced a bunch of wannabe owners and dominants who posture and preen and say "I am" when they are not. You will see a 20 something male, working at McDonald's and living in a walk up rental, calling himself Master and demanding that women bow to him. He has an old beater car, no savings, no future, he has not even began to master his own life. Now he claims he can be master of a sub or slave. These are the people who demand a sub "posture" for him and demand the sub call him sir or master. It's his ego speaking, not his dominance or mastery of anything. We married in the early 70's as a natural dominant and natural submissive but those words were never spoken for at least 20 years. Married in 71 but it took me until 86 to even begin to master my life. In 86 I walked away from a high paying factory job and created my first major business, an auction house. That began a lifetime of building businesses, getting them up to profitability and then selling them. Even then, I never once called myself a Master. We opened the marriage to others from time to time and it was always her seeking a dominant type and myself seeking a submissive type. We could do so because we were secure in who we were, who we each belonged to. I played with a submissive on and off for few years who called me "Mister B" but she always made it a joke, a way of poking fun at me. She would say it with emphasis on the Mister and then she would laugh at me. She was secure in who she was and knew that I was as well. Among the very best of submissives that I ever played with in those years, was a woman who was in upper management of a major corporation. At work they called her the dragon lady and people were actually afraid of her because she could make or break a career. She called me "Donkey" from the movie Shrek and she claimed she was my dragon. She served me with her entire being. It is not about posture or titles, it is about who we are and how we are, that makes us owners or dominants, subs or slaves. Don't buy into the hype, the hype is bull shit. Look at who they are, what they have accomplished. Look at how they help those around themselves. In the words of Mohamed Ali, an ultimate Master, "look at how they treat those who can not benefit them in any way". If they treat the waiter poorly, run. A true master protects, builds up those around themselves, looks to help the less fortunate, looks to promote others to be all they can be and does not say worship me. A master is. They are not someone who calls themselves as such. A sub or slave, looks for such people and wants to help them by combining their power with the power of the owner or dominant or master. I seek to serve nature as her sub/slave. She is far greater than myself, a worthy mistress with no ego. By doing so, I gain as well. I seek those who feel that is something worthy of doing and want to add their power to my own. I say openly that by myself, I am not enough, that I need your power added to my own. Even then, I fully understand that we will not be enough but we can make some small difference. If you feel a need to serve such a man, I would humbly welcome your support. Then, in the future and only if you feel that I have proven to you, that I am worthy to be called your owner or dominant or master, I will be thankful and we will continue the work together.  

I'I'm going to answer a few questions that perhaps I will not get asked these repeatedly.   When you ask me why Im here, my reply is this:  I get off on extreme time wasting liars. NOT! I'm here to find lifestyle relationships which reflect My wants, needs and desires.  I'm polyamorous, meaning Im looking for more than one relationship, sexual and or otherwise.   Okay, now, for the million dollar answer, what is a cosmic cunt and why did I choose it? Part of me finds this telling that I should be asked to explain.  Pay attention now.... cosmic adjective cos·mic ˈkäz-mik