We found this online and now can't find it to reference. We are grateful to the author What is a Daddy Dom \ little girl relationship: Daddy Dom/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. We do not engage in age play specifically (beyond the occasional school girl fantasy) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides. So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom? His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him. This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his little girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase it's value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him. He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his little girl is going to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises. If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect. A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive...acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn't matter. To him she is beautiful. Daddy Dom and sadistic Dom are by no means mutually exclusive. Many Daddy Doms embrace their sadism while understanding and feeding their submissive's masochism. This balance is necessary to many little girls because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship. I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissive's life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it's participants crave. There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.

I want something more then to be just someone's casual side piece. Ideally, I'm looking for someone who likes and wants power exchange, rope/shibari, bomdage, impact and can deal with a sassy brat. Now, when I say sassy brat; what I really mean is I'm sassy and I know how to use my brain. I will call you out and use my brain to work around or get out of things... so be careful what you say.   I want someone who knows what they are looking for or at least has an idea of what they want. Intelligence is a good thing to me and if I can out maneuver you... we're gonna have a problem, cause I will wrap you around my finger. I am a strong indepent woman and it takes someone similar to truly keep me in line.   I identify with many things like rope bunny, submissive, middle, brat, masochist, pet and on the rare occasion slut. I'm sure there is even more, but it would take someone I could truly learn to trust to bring it out in me. I want to explore and find out what I'm capable of, like, want and crave... even if it pushes me outside my confort zone.    I need something real and tangible; someone who can push me in my limits but not take it to far or go to fast. With me it's not always what I say but how my body or mind may react to something. I have a habit of putting things into neat little boxes and putting them in their spot. But I want someone to mess those boces up and make me rethink the way I see things.   If you think this could be you... feel free to message me :).   P.S. I should say I do have an age range. No offense meant... I don't generally play with people over 45 as they tend to remind me of my grandparents and it feels akward/weird for me. I also don't generally play with people under 25 as I tend to end up getting put into a teaching or mentor role and that's not what I am looking for.

My mind wanders   and where I am in my head in a given moment may not be in a particular space or focused on a particular thought. A lot of the time I'm just absorbing being, breathing and living in those few seconds of being alive. Other times I'm visually and physically absorbing being in Daddy's presence so that if the day comes that his circle of life has completed and my time hasn't yet come to join him, my mind will relive these magical years, months, days, hours and minutes of our priceless endless love. The power and strength of our individual selves is potential and possibilities that may or may not be realized. The roles we assume as Dom/Master/sub/slave without one another is conceptual fantasy and unrequited desire. Together we are fortified and the conceptual, fantasy and desire are lived and experienced. Our personal chemistry has been altered. More than a high from the natural dopamine we create for one another. We're in eachothers blood, in the air we breathe, and all that sustains us to be alive. There is nothing worth experiencing if I'm not sharing it with my Master. Loving and living to serve my Master/King/Life partner.

At first, they pleaded for me to be tolerant. I obliged.   Next, they requested that I accept. I acquiesced.   Then, they demanded that I include. But I learned that to include is to convert. I did not want that, so I politely declined.   They insisted, refusing to take No for an answer. I stopped accepting.   They condemned me. I stopped tolerating.

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

I found this in my notes...and I didn't go to the synagogue. I went to the Catholic church 200 meters away...Now here I am 14 months later, a new profile...and so much has happened.  I cut and paste it as I wrote it last year...  good bye Kai, hello Vera. ONE and the same. I can see by the entry that I wrote this on the 24th of March 2025. He had the surgery on the 25rh. I flew out on the 26th.   Hello, On Friday I found out my previous Dom is in hospital. His surgery is next week. Brain tumour. I TOLD Him this morning that I am coming to help.  I know Him and His life. I also worked in a hospital for brain damaged people.  Once they dig around in His head, it is not going to be pretty. He was going to stay at his mums to recover. She is nearly 80. She has a tiny house. He is 6'7 and on good days is a grumpy bear. I know Him. I am the one HaShem is sending to do this. He was a fantastic Dom. I only left because I didn't like forced chastity and then ironically continued it on my own.   I do not go as His submissive. I am going as His friend.   This afternoon He sent a WA. His mum and Him appreciate my offer and open their homes to me. It was not necessary as I can find my own place and will, once we can see if He can stay on His own... To start, He will need me. We spent lockdown together. We spent 5 years together. He knows I am the only person on this planet that can do it.   So, I fly this weekend to London.    I also have all I need to live there.  Driving licence, bank account, right  to work, 5 year extension on my visa.     I also have my own money to be comfortable for a year.    Now I am setting everything in motion to go. This where I am going and HaShem put me on ice for five weeks, in this BnB, for this day.    I didn't know until I woke up today and Hashem told me to go to London, that it was my next destination.    The bonus for me and I realised that this afternoon is that I get to attend synagogue and deepen my faith.    I will be happy to continue chatting as friends. Thanks for the sharing of your life too. My last 2 months on CS and FL have been fascinating and I am grateful for the steep learning curve too.   There is more to the whole saga about London, but enough has been shared in this message to let you know that I am not ghosting you. I am simply going somewhere I had not even imagined 3 days ago, and will be very preoccupied with what it all entails.   Email is better for me. I will pop in here now and then to check mail, when I can.   Kind regards Kai. (Kai is my Jewish name and I stopped using it when I left the Dominican Republic and now use it again.. )      

6 Minths Post 6 months post break up. Post world upside down post everything. The what if is strong for some reason  If I'd come home early and just started packing, said i know you've been cheating, I'm done. If I'd stopped fighting sooner. If If If All of them don't matter, it's done now. I am sorry I put you to the side I'm sorry your drinking got so badI'm sorry we lost us.I'm sorry I wasn't enough.

February 20, 2024 I've been speaking with Edgingfun23 for a while on FetLife. He came over for his first visit recently. He told me he was interested in getting a deep enema, and I explained that a deep enema takes time and it might not be necessary. So when he first arrived, as I do with all my guys, I met him in the driveway and we came inside. He was dressed straight from work. Usually guys that come for a visit wear jeans and a t-shirt, very relaxed looking. But edgingfun23 had clearly just come from a day of work. I sat back in my easy chair, looked straight into his eyes and simply said, "well… Strip!" I could tell that he was a bit nervous, but he started stripping his clothing off and putting them in the chair next to where he was standing. I just watched intently as he took off each article of business clothing. When he was naked, I just stared at him for a minute and he stood there wondering what would come next. I got up from my chair and went to the couch and grabbed a pair of wrist restraints. His hands were hanging down to his sides, and not recognizing these were wrist restraints, he did not extend his hands. So I grabbed a hand and pulled it out in front of him, putting the velcro restraint on his wrist. And then I put a restraint on the other wrist. Back to the couch I got a dog collar and put around his neck. I stood behind him and reached around playing with his nipples, groping his cock and balls, and tugging a bit on the dog collar. I told him to come to the bathroom where we were going to clean him out. I briefly explain the difference between a deep enema and a light enema. I told him we would start with a light enema but he would have to tell me when the water he was expelling into the toilet was clear. If it cleared up after a few cycles we would be done, if it didn't we might have to switch to a deeper enema. Apparently never having an enema before, he wasn't sure what to do. I told him to get down on all fours on the bathroom floor. When he was in the doggie position I smeared some Vaseline on my finger and slid it up and down the crack of his ass. I filled a small enema bulb with warm water, put some Vaseline on the tip of the tube, and using two of my fingers spread his ass cheeks so I could insert the tip of the enema bulb into his ass. As I squeezed all the water into his ass he didn't make a sound. I told him to stay in that position as I filled the bulb a second time, inserted it and added more water to his bowels. I smacked his ass and told him that I would leave the room to give him some privacy, and that he should take his time and expel the water. When he was done, he was to flush the toilet and as I heard him flush the toilet I would know it was time to come back in for the next round. I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me. It wasn't too long until I heard the toilet flush. I went back in and he was standing as I filled the enema bulb again. I told him to get back down on all fours. Two more bulbs of warm water filled his bowels before I left him to expel again. He learned quickly because the next time I came in the bathroom he was already on all fours. I think we went through four cycles of rinsing him out when I asked him how the water was. He said it was pretty clear. I think we went through one more cycle. I forgot to tell him on the last cycle to make sure he gets as much water out as possible. When we were done in the bathroom I told him we were going to head upstairs. He had previously told me he might need to work on his cock sucking skills so I thought the best place to do that would be upstairs. Although I knew he was extremely interested in the cow milking machine and the fuck bench, I needed my cock sucked first, so we were starting upstairs. We got upstairs and I briefly showed him all of the toys that I keep in the bedroom. Cock cages, ball weights, paddles and whips, and plenty of anal toys. I passed him a tight fitting cloth hood that has eye holes and a mouth hole. I told him to put it on. At first, as he pulled it over his head, I don't think he realized there were eye holes. I told him to pull it a bit forward that there were eye holes and we wanted to center the mouth hole so my cock had access to his mouth. After he made the adjustment to the hood I told him to climb on the bed on all fours. I wanted to check out his ass. I wanted to start playing with his hole immediately. Instinctively his ass rose into the air as his shoulders went down onto the bed. I think he has been in this position before. I grabbed some lube and squirted it on my finger as I rubbed it across his hole. I slipped my finger back and forth over his ass and then pushed a finger inside. Oh my god, it went in easily. I knew his ass was going to get a lot of play today. This was going to be fun. READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT   WWW.SirKel.top

For a site supposedly so mindful of bigotry and/or transphobia (to the point that profiles languish in Purgatory to be "approved" for things as simple as updating your age), it really annoys me that in the "Seeking" section of your profile, "Switch Transgender" is not an option. And it's never been an option.  Apparently it's impossible to be a switch if you're trans.  Or, perhaps it's impossible to be trans if you're a switch.  How frustrating.  Paying lip service to these rather important concepts without even doing something as simple as acknowledging people who are switches, but who may not be cis, feels obnoxious, possibly like it's not much more than mere virtue signaling.  Good luck if someone is NB.  No, we certainly don't need more sites overrun with transphobia, but as such, yes, we do need to actually fully embrace all the options that are available to cis people being available to trans people on a site with so few options, anyway.  And maybe even work on updating that for NB people, too.  I'd love for the energy that's put into profile approval (especially when you're just updating things in provided dropdown menus, anyway) to be put into those basic updates in 2022 instead.  I know CS, as a whole, updates slowly (if at all), but that would still be lovely for a site that claims to be mindful of bigotry.  Sometimes bigotry isn't just what you say, sometimes it's also what you don't say.

I got some feed back on my last journal entry and thouht I should try to clear up some points.The topic of "collar of consideration or under consideration collars" is one that has been discussed among Masters and slaves.Our houser believes that the Master who has placed a slave under consideration is either having trouble deciding whether they want the slave to be a part of their house, or they want the pleasure of controlling and using the slave without committing to the responsibility of ownership.Both actions are fundamentally wrong. If the Master is unsure if the slave is worthy of wearing their collar, they should communicate with the slave and discuss any concerns they may have.Collaring a slave is a serious commitment that should not be taken lightly. A Master should reveal to the slave what is expected of them if they wear the Master's collar and what their boundaries and duties will be. The slave has a simple, yet complex duty, to please the desires and will of the Master. In reality, it is the slave who should offer themselves to the Master for enslavement and collaring, not the other way around.The goal of the Master is to help the slave become the best slave it can be and to guide them to that end. My house has never personally offered a collar to a slave, but has learned from more experienced couples in the lifestyle to wait until it is asked for. MasterG

I identify as Heteroflexible so I updated my profile to show my interest in submissive men and transexuals. Im really surprised at the amount of emails I have received in response to that update. The most common question I get is "how can I serve you?" so I thought I would add a journal entry to answer that question. First, Im not gay so I am not attracted to men. However, because I have a control fetish I am flexible in my preferences and am willing to play with men or transexuals that are submissive. My definition of submissive is one that is willing to submit even if there is no sex involved. More specifically I am looking for individuals that want to serve long term. I am a big man so I prefer the bois and gurls I play with to be petite and very feminine. I have a strict one cock rule so you must own a chastity device and I will expect you to wear it whenever you are in my presence. I will not allow you to cum before, during, or after we play. The last thing that I look for in a boi or gurl is that your are close enough to me to meet real time. As for those that are not local but still want to serve, perhaps you could offer me something else. . 

one potential ending    Now, My darkest desires proceeded to being fulfilled.  SLAVE start the slow process of getting all the things needed.  You hear clanks, scrapes, thuds, grunts and painful cries.  What to make of all this, starts to run through you mind.  Locked up in bounds on the bed, pinned down, spread eagle, arms like a cross… completely vulnerable. The blind fold is placed back on, and you put up a little bit of a fight. But to no avail you loss, but then again you expected that. But just not as quickly, for there were a second set of hands that were helping with the blind fold.   The cbt is still on, and the pain is becoming more intense for you.  But I’m in no mood to give in to your whimpers.  I say, ladies next please.  Now you start to realize the fear that has begun to grow within you.  You hear the rustling of the girls; giggles and loud noise all of what is now making you try to free yourself from the bounds that hold you dear.   Now back on the bed, SLAVE lays down beside you, caressing you body, up and down, making you slip into a state or relaxedness.   Then while the moment of peace lasts, you hear a soft click and a rush of cold air; gliding up the length of your shaft for the cbt has been lifted off.  With a sigh of relief, like you just had the biggest orgasm you have ever had… little did you know what was coming your way next.  With that first sigh, that escaped from your lips, was the last time you were going to experience that feeling.     You hear some more giggling and some sharp sounds.  Then there is a light smell of something you could not place.  As your mind ponders what that smell may be, for its something you’ve smelt before.  Again, your mind wonder and ponders away but is quickly brought back to the present by the sucking sound you hear.   As your mind slips back to the moment, you feel this wet softness along your inner thigh. Kiss, nibble, licks, nibbles, and a bite, the sharp piercing pain shoot’s right up your body. You let out a yelp, sounding like a puppy, with a loud and crisp.  “Well, well, well, we can’t be having that now, can we?” I said.  With a load voice, almost chill defining.  SLAVE gets up and went into the back room and came back with a large ball gag.  Since you were blindfolded still, you had no idea what was going your way.  SLAVE lay down on the bed and began to caress your body.  Soft, slowly and methodically, she worked over your body piece by piece. Till she reached your face, then the touched changed, but still were soft and caring.  She caressed your lips with her fingers, carefully taking her time, centimeter but centimeter she glided her fingers over your bottom lip.  Lost in the moment, you begin to moan and lost sight of everything, time, space, reality, everything what was happening right in front of your body and soul.   Still confused by the feeling of SLAVEs fingers, which were warm, supple, loving caressing touch lingered in your mind.  Your moans and body language started to change.  Your heart was racing, breathless to speak or move. No words could be found or describe what you were feeling.   Next you fell something cool, wet, and soft. With you mind slowly drifting back to reality; you try to assess what the feeling maybe.  And with a blink of an eye it was over. The soft, luscious, lips of SLAVEs touched yours and it was a little taste of heaven in an instant.   Then in another flash there was shock, for now you felt the large ball of the ball gag graze your lips.  You instinctively opened your mouth, knowing full well that you shouldn’t.  Then the ball gag slipped in and the light smell of SLAVEs body sent could be smelled to your nose, carried lightly on a breath of wind. You fill your senses with that scent, as the gag is being fastened to you. The ball is almost too big for your mouth, but it what “I” want. I don’t want to have the world hear you moan, for what is coming next, so I state.  Master23Mike 

Master's WritingsFoundations: Deep Honesty and the Butterfly EffectAs I see it, there are three core elements, communication, trust and honesty, that together form the foundation for feeling safe as we explore the lifestyle. Each element is interdependent with the others, and intertwined in such a way that to fail any one breaks them all, leaving us unsure and at risk, while when they all work right, we feel able to explore the greatest depths imaginable.With regard to honesty, we, in the lifestyle, are far better equipped to get it right than anywhere within the vanilla world. Power dynamics, the emotional nakedness of play and the acceptance of near infinite diversity among our interests and population make total honesty far more achievable within the lifestyle than others then you might think.Yet honesty can suffers from the crushing weight of a single butterflies wing. As children, we learn to lie because we get away and it always starts with the smallest of lies or the things we hide from those we love. As we grow, we believe that lying is acceptable with those we love and in society in general. This acceptance allows us to learn to lie even to ourselves, and as we mature, we discover that we have grown comfortable being false to others and even to ourself. We no longer know what is authentic and the distance between those close to us grows and decays. And we wonder why. In fact, as a society, we have entered an age where falsehood and lying is now the norm and an accepted practice.In a dynamic where “Total Honesty” is practiced, lies are never allowed, not in part nor in full, not even lies of omission or hidden truths of any kind. Sharing is always total, free and open. The freedom of an open mind and heart is the only acceptable mindset. While nearly all in the lifestyle preach this in one form or another, we must be aware of the impact of that single small butterfly wing. For just like the child growing up, a single allowance of a hidden feeling, an uncomfortable truth left unspoken, or a fear not communicated, has the potential to become habit forming and thereafter impact and erode the beauty and depth of a dynamic. A hidden feeling can undermine the understanding one partner has for the other. An uncomfortable truth can lead to the birth of resentment and anger when not spoken where it is allowed to fester. A fear left unchecked causes stress, clouds the mind, undercut trust, causes stagnation and allows anxieties to run unchecked or worse.Within a dynamic, the expectation and practice must be to understand the impact, the cause and effect, of that single delicate wing of the smallest of lies and/or omissions, remaining fully open to each other, totally authentic of self, and emotionally naked before your partner. For it is only within a dynamic filled with such honesty that we make possible the deep, beautiful and magical experiences we all seek.