Jesus's love for you is so deep as that of a father and child and so intimate as that of a husband and wife. Jesus and the angels celebrate you turning to him. Like that of a dear friend coming back, more missed than they had realized. Give him your burdens he will sustain you. He will not let the righteous be moved. He is nurturing and practical. He is like a supportive parent, a supportive lover. He is fair, trustworthy, and gives you clarity not impartially but fully. Be fearless and have the courage to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ. It's a journey, through all the valleys and mountain peaks but he is faithful to never leave you. He carries you. He strengthens you. He cares for you. He sees you. He hears you. Some things happen quickly and some things require time. Perhaps time to build your character. Build your endurance. Build your spirit. Build your patience. Build your wisdom. Some things are not meant to break you but to make you so strong and unrecognizable to your old self. Even in the dark there is a light and the light has not been overcome by the darkness. It cannot be. 

The vow of a slave:   I met her in the shadow’s call, A Mistress strong, unyielding, tall. Bound by fate, though not by choice, A forced path, a silenced voice.   At first, I raged, defied, denied, Met steel with fire, stood in pride. Yet every lash, each measured word, Cut through walls I'd never heard.   Then one night, through softened eyes, I saw her break, I heard her cries. Not steel nor whip, but fragile pain, A soul beneath the cold domain.   I made her laugh, I found the key, A bond unshackled—yet bound was me. Not by chains nor cruel demand, But by the touch of knowing hands.   She spoke of honor, of my name, That my defeat would bring her shame. A slave to her, but not to fear, She made my purpose crystal clear.   No loss allowed, no second place, For I was hers—a pure embrace. With every strike, with every fight, I bore her will, I claimed my right.   And so I swore, through time unkind, She holds my heart, she owns my mind. Not just in flesh, but in my soul, For she had shaped me, made me whole.

What my submissive nature looks like:   I naturally end up taking care of others better than I take care of myself. I love to maintain a household and provide nourishment and comfort to all who dwell there. I enjoy pampering my partner. I’ve raised a child, I garden, I cook, I fix things and I take pride in a job well done.    Things I’m not so good at… selling myself, making big $$, asking for what I need or making the first move.   I’m sensitive and inquisitive. I care about the world. I’m drawn to ponder the meaning of life. I cherish touch, beauty, intimacy and indulging in carnal delights. I love truth and freedom. I adore feeling wanted, desired and useful to the Feminine. I adore giving pleasure… physical, emotional and mental. I adore receiving pleasure. I enjoy enduring erotic pain for another’s pleasure… and I cherish serving the will of a Goddess. 

I feel the cold metal of my collar against my skin, a constant reminder of my new reality. I had signed the contract and now, I wait, could be now, or maybe never. The system decided who bought me, who owned me, but until that day, no taxes. I got to live tax free from the moment that collar locked, I was no longer a tax paying citizen. I was just merchandise on a shelf.The beep that echoes through the bookstore signals my salvation and damnation in the form of a large, commanding man. Baxter. He rushes toward me, his eyes filled with a primal hunger that sends a shiver down my spine. His hands roughly grab my arms, pulling me close as he examines me, his gaze intense and unyielding. I can't help but feel a sense of awe at the sheer size of him, the power that radiates off his body. "You're mine now," he growls, his voice deep and rough. His thumb brushes against the collar, a single drip of his blood and the control was engaged and I feel a jolt of electricity run through me at his touch. I'm his to command, his to use as he sees fit. He leads me out of the bookstore, his grip tight on my arm. People on the streets shaking their heads, another collared removed from the system, less government money wasted. I can't help but feel a sense of excitement as I follow him, my body tingling with anticipation. I've been waiting for this moment for so long, my training leading up to this very moment, to take the collar you have to serve years if service school, but no bills, no taxes, and after the rules all changed, I had no choice. As we enter his home, he turns to me, his eyes blazing with hunger. "Undress," he commands, his voice leaving no room for argument, the collar filling with heat. I comply, my hands shaking as I remove each piece of clothing, revealing my curves to his gaze. He watches me, his eyes taking in every inch of my body. "Kneel," he orders, and I obey, my heart pounding in my chest. He approaches me, his fingers tracing the outline of my collar. "You're mine now," he repeats, his voice softer this time. Then his hand clicks the l

It's fun how often men approach me online proclaiming that they're somehow "floored" by my intelligence, and that it's just sooo difficult to find intelligent women online, and of course, they recognize intelligence because of how extremely intelligent they are themselves.  They're looking for someone intelligent just like me, but obviously they don't actually want someone intelligent just like me since I am not flattered by such clownery.  But they sure do want me to be flattered by such a clown tactic.  There are a number of reasons it doesn't work: I know I'm intelligent and don't need the validation for it from random strangers online.  Just like these men don't seek validation for their intelligence from strangers online. When you're smart or funny or kind or any number of traits, you don't need to start conversations by announcing it to others and trying to convincing them that you have those traits; people recognize them for themselves - especially when those people are as "intelligent" as you're claiming they are. I am not some grand exception; there is a limitless number of intelligent women online, here and on every site.  It's easy to tell there are so many since they message me and we talk - they just aren't interested in reaching out to you.  You haven't flattered me by announcing how dumb other women are to you, but you've told me a lot about what you think of women and their intelligence, mine included. The men who expect a woman to be flattered by telling her how very exceptional she is for being intelligent are simply using it as a pickup line.  People who think I'm smart, and who want to engage with me as a result, simply engage with me, without waxing poetic about how smart I am and how smart they are and how they've been looking for someone smart just like me. It's a pick up line.  Talking about how smart they are and how smart they find me isn't even a conversation.  They're interested in me and they hope that by appealing to my intelligence rather than by being more blatant in their tactics, I'll be more receptive.  It's not flattering to me, but it is an unflattering look on these guys.  Genuine people engage genuinely.

  Obedience Rituals for a kajira.   A kajira must be obedient and pleasing. She has many ways to assure her master. The obedience rituals provide a striking set of actions that every kajira must master. First Obedience The girl presents herself before her master who has commanded first obedience. She kneels before her master with her hands on the floor. Next the kajira rubs her cheeks and hair on her master’s feet. While attending to her master, the girl must tell her master how much she loves being his slave and how much she loves him. She continues pleasuring her master while pleading that she only wants to be his kajira, his pleasure slave. When the master signals that she has met his needs she must remain in position for other commands such as Second Obedience. Second Obedience The kajira remains kneeling with her hair on her master’s feet. She begins kissing his feet and telling him what sexual favors she will provide. How long and how many desires she uncovers is up to her. She may also plead for sex acts that she needs and wants. The more detailed and complete the better. The master will let her know when she has fulfilled her duties, usually by being ordered to Nadu position.  

profiles take far too long to update on here, so here is what would be my updated profile...    Friendly notice:  *Please read before messaging - it’ll save us both time :)*    These are just *my* preferences, no offence intended.    - Age range **29-45** -  **NO** interest in joining an existing couple/dynamic -  **NO** interest in married/partnered up men - **NO** interest in online/cyber relationships  - **NO** interest in one off meets  - **NO** interest in switching  - **PLEASE** do **NOT** send me dick pics or request any nudes from me   The Vanilla Stuff:   I am 26 years old and I live alone in a sleepy little village in Oxfordshire. I currently work part time. I enjoy spending my free time socialising with my friends/family, going for long country walks, swimming, dining out and weekends away. I passed my driving test earlier in the year so I am always taking myself on adventures. I am lucky enough to be well travelled and have been on some amazing holidays to beautiful countries. I love cooking and baking (I make a mean cookie). I used to work for a local radio station so I have a strong passion for music… anything 70’s or 80’s. I don’t watch much TV but I do have a slight obsession with the BBC series ‘Inside No. 9’ (if you’ve never seen it, you’re in for a treat!)    I am very calm, patient, honest, understanding and I like to think a caring person. I always try to see the best in people, and will always do what I can to help and support others. I like to have a laugh, and would say I have a somewhat dry and at times dark sense of humour.    Now is probably a good time to mention that... **I am autistic**. Please don't let this put you off. I’d like to make it clear that being autistic does not hold me back in life. I am able to work, I live alone, I drive, and I lead a fairly “normal” life. For me it mostly means that I struggle in some social situations, especially when meeting new people, or going to new unfamiliar places - although I always try to push myself and overcome these social barriers. I don’t let being autistic hold me back or dominate (the irony) my life. If you’d like to know more then feel free to ask me any questions. I’ve written a couple of things **(see below)** which may be helpful.    - [A guide for potential Doms ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736910) - [Autism, kink and me ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736903)   I am very much a ‘plain Jane’. I don’t cover myself in make-up, fake tan, and I have never used fillers. I am more comfortable in long dress tops and leggings than overly revealing clothing. I am 5’3, curvy, have shoulder length auburn hair, hazel eyes, mostly wear glasses, and have very pale skin.     The Kinky Stuff:   For as long as I can remember I have always been interested in the idea of BDSM and being submissive, even before I knew what BDSM was I found myself having thoughts of wanting to be tied up, humiliated, degraded, hurt, and used and abused during sex. All my previous relationships had been very vanilla, so I never had a chance to explore my submissive side until a few years ago when I began seeing an older guy. He was not a Dom, but he was kinky as fuck… he would restrain me, gag and blindfold me, use canes, floggers and riding crops on me, and have rougher sex with me - to date he’s the only guy to ever make me cum! Since then I have craved nothing more than to explore my submissive side fully within a D/s or M/s dynamic.    My kinks include: *impact play, breath play, restraints, edge play, humiliation, degradation, face slapping, nipple torture, blindfolds, gags, punishments, praise, orgasm control/denial, hair pulling, rough sex, TPE, CNC and much, much more **(see my fetish list at the bottom of my profile).*** Safe words and aftercare are super important and non negotiable.    I am at a point now in my life where I am very happy and settled. I feel ready to start looking for a Dom/Master who I can go on a BDSM journey with. I no longer have any interest in finding a purely vanilla relationship. So… I am looking for an experienced Dom with a dark/sadistic streak who would be willing to take his time to train and guide me on this journey at a slow and steady pace. I realise that my wants from a dynamic probably mean I am more of a slave than a sub...I’m looking for a Master/Dom who over time I can **fully** submit to - in and out of the bedroom. A Dom who has a majority of control over my life, eg - full sexual control, control over my appearance, over my body and mind, over day to day activities etc. ideally - TPE eventually. A dynamic with rules which if broken result in punishments. A dynamic where my sole purpose is to fulfil the needs of my Dom. I crave nothing more than to be owned. To be the property of a Dom.   I am looking for **long term and regular,** with the end goal to be to eventually live together. I’m **not** looking for a dynamic where a Dom barks orders at me, cuts me off from the outside world and keeps me locked in his basement all day, every day. But where I can look after the house, prepare meals, do all the cleaning and laundry etc. what some may refer to as ‘1950’s living’. (I’d still be happy to remain working and help toward bills if that was agreed upon.) For me this ins't just about having rough sex and a bit of kinky fun, it means much more than that to me... maybe my autism plays a part in that, the want and need for structure and routine in life...   I prefer guys who are older **(29-45)**, who take good care of themselves, are respectful, caring and are drama free. I have no issues if you have children but I do **NOT** want children of my own.      End:   If you're interested then please feel free to message me. I have quite a few writings on my profile about myself, my (limited) previous kinky experiences, fantasies and information about my autism, so please take a look. I never respond to instant sex chat/stories or dick pics.    Ideally I’d prefer it if you can host or we meet in hotels to begin with - due to my autism I do not feel comfortable even having my friends and family over at my house, it's my sanctuary/safe space. I drive and enjoy driving, so distance is not a huge issue for me.    Unfortunately it’s got to the stage where I will just ignore messages from anybody that is outside of my preferred age range, or married, seeking an online dynamic or ONS, etc… I am simply not interested and far too many people just don’t respect this, so please do not be offended if I don’t respond, but that’s probably why.    As so many people don't tend to bother to read profiles on here, please let me know you have done so while messaging me! I hope to hear from you!  ~ M x   

  Momentarily distracted by his need to spill his bladder, he was now aware of leather cuffs being affixed to each wrist. The metal cuffs had started to chafe. A leather belt was locked to his waist and each wrist in turn was released from the metal restraint and re fastened to the waist belt on each side. More comfortable. He was pushed down to the floor and over on his back. The sensation of cold hard tile and his need for relief was flooding his brain. Deprived of sight and speech his awareness shrank. Leather ankle cuffs were locked on and fastened together as a hobble.   The socks were pulled off and with them, the last vestige of his former self.   Her gloved hands embraced the sides of his hood. Suddenly he could see again. Stunning. She was squatting over his face. Eye piece in hand. Again, her smell. The leather smell. The antiseptic smell of the floor. Sternly she commanded him to be obedient and explained that she would remove the gag on the condition he only speak when spoken to.   Nodding, the mouthpiece came off.   His urgent need was all he could think about. He squirmed in his restraints.   The return of his sight and the Glorious image above him aroused his cock to a shaft of steel. Involuntarily he thrust it up arching his back. Buttocks lifted off the floor.   She regained her standing position posture as erect as his now throbbing cock. She laughed. A low grunting sob gurgled from his lips. She smirked and curled her lips into a snarl. For the first time he took in his surroundings. It was a utility room connecting the garage with the rest of the house.     A shower of sorts with a head on a umbilical hose in one corner for cleaning things. There was a drain in the floor and he realized he was laying on it.  

A Valentine Blessing for kinky people or A Valentine’s Blessing for the Deliciously DevotedMay this gathering be wrapped in trustand warmed by the courage it takes to be seen.May your yes be enthusiastic,your no be honored without question,and your maybe be held gently until it knows its name.On this Valentine’s night,may desire be curious and kind,may power be exchanged with care,and may every touch—whether soft or sharp—be given with intention and received with joy.Bless the hands that tie and the hands that yield,the hearts that lead and the hearts that follow,and the beautiful truth that roles may changebut respect never does.May safewords be remembered,boundaries be celebrated,and laughter find its way into even the most serious scenes.And when the play is done,may aftercare be sweet,may water be plentiful,and may everyone leave feeling fuller—not just in body, but in spirit.On this Valentine’s Day,may love show up in all its forms:romantic, chosen, perverse, tender, fierce.May you be desired,may you be cherished,and may you always knowthat wanting and being wantedis a kind of sacred magic.So blessed be the ropes, the rules, the roses,and every brave, beating heart in this room. 💘

I've been asked many times over the years, what is the difference between a submissive and a slave? One could say, by common definition, that is submissive, gives up control, but only within the constraints of the bedroom. The submissive can set limits, boundaries and more. So, it's not truly giving up control, but they giving up of limited control within certain areas, usually limited to strictly sexual. The slave, on the other hand, gives up all control at all times, both within and outside the bedroom. Her limits may be observed by her or his master or mistress. But, they don't have to be. Furthermore, giving up of control usually applies to all areas of life, not just strictly sexual. Still, that can be seen as a rather limited definition. if one truly wants to defined the difference between the two, it boils down to this. A submissive will give up control within the parameters of still satisfying her needs, wants and desires. A slave is able to sublimate her own needs, in order to put the needs of someone else before her own at all times. That's the big difference. A submissive may give up control, even total control, but only within the duration of a scene, or a particular situation. A slave not only gives up control, but puts the needs of her master before her own at all times. A submissive can always say, "Not tonight. I'm not feeling up to it." A slave has no such options. Her place and purpose is to put the needs and wants of her Master ahead of her own, and if Master decides that he wants to use his slave, it's her place as a slave to meet and even exceed his expectations. The problem is, with so many, having been raised with this being either fantasy or online role-play, combined with the Tinder culture expectation of "If this doesn't amuse me, I can just ghost him." It's becoming increasingly difficult to find those that truly have a slave mentality. So, those of you who are putting yourself out there as slaves, make sure that you understand the difference between submissives and slaves. Not only for your own benefit, but for the benefit of others as well. That way, no one's time is wasted, not expectations dashed and you'll be more successful at finding what it is you're truly looking for.

Never mind the brit who I spent far too much time with only to determine that he preys on women as a CollarSpace occupation...but then to be followed by the next group: He doesnt fix his phone and therefore cannot communicate effectively. He cannot share his availability properly or set aside proper time to converse. He doesn't show up for the meeting - 1st time because he was sick and waits to tell Me at the appointed hour. He doesn't show up for the meeting - 2nd time because 'I worry him' and waits until the appointed hour. LOL He verbally attacks and berates when I show the least bit of consideration. He then contacts Me under another screeen name, different state, 15 years older. He tells Me we are not well matched. LOL YA THINK? Next one... 1st meeting - mandatory work schedule change; notified one or two days prior- accepted. 2nd meeting - computer virus effecting communication until last minute; contacted day prior. I had to find suitable PAID option as replacement - accepted. 3rd meeting - had to care for a family member, contact made day of and two hours prior to scheduled meet time - DENIED. aND Next... Meeting scheduled for 18 day visit in November after a few months of build up....then POOF!  I didn't even get a Dear Jane letter on that one! Oh yeah, almost forgot about the local chap who was more than willing to mow and weedwack one fine weekend a month ago... POOOOOOOOF!   YOU INCONVENIENCE A WOMAN WHO IS A FULL TIME CAREGIVER TO A SAINT?  ARE YOU SERIOUS? Regarding the first two subs...what they dont realize is it matters not that they didnt show up.  What matters is that they wanted Me to believe in their ability and desire and went to great lengths to convince Me of their worth and intention.  After I went to considerable lengths to prepare for our meetings, then to not show and cause not just Me an inconvenience but inturn My household - well that is INTOLERABLE.  Slaves My arse!  Bottom toppers is more like it! As of yesterday, 103124, I finally completed the work I had planned to complete with the first two gents.  It has taken Me TWO MONTHS to do what I could have done in two weekends with these men.  By making committments which they did not keep, they cost Me time and money and lots and lots of harder days with mum and FOR mum. Had I not made the plans with them, I would have a. made plans with others b. hired the help I need ahead of time c. restructured My schedule to accomodate a lack of assistance. Instead, My household has been stressed out trying to play catch up which means mother and I have had a stressed time, which means I DON'T TRUST YOU OR LIKE YOU. Ya'll are inconsiderate and you have been dealt with more than fairly.  You know what to do if you decide to get serious and stop playing around. Do what you say.  Say what you do.  Obey.  Simple. And for the love of Pete - stop making plans with women unless you intend on following through!

That Moment when You one day saw A Black Raven hopping on Your GrandParents' Front Lawn so You went to check it, it kept hopping away from You & made it to & through The ChainLink Fence but not before You noticed It Was Missing Its Right Wing & Right Leg.     🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯     #MeanViciousPitBullsAcrossTheStreet?

Love degrading, deeply separatingMy distances of dark pride. DaringThis daggered being to a death ofIdentity. Damn me. May the dawnDraw dyed lines of words upon myDunes. May You, God of my dragons,Declare me as Your dirty darling.Where decadence decades theseDaymares of independenceWhere You define my worth, for thisDance of ours deepens our freedomDay and night, dusk into dust. DivineDreams. - We finally begin to exist. dirtydarling

Collaring It's come to my attention that a lot of Dom's don't have any formal collaring ceremony and tend to awkwardly wing it. There's nothing wrong with that, we all started somewhere. I'm writing this for those Dom's who need a "Step 1" since you can't exactly go to chatgpt and ask for this. This comes after vetting, after ensuring compatibility and establishing limits. Couple things to know about my dynamic before we go further. First, every girl has their "enterance name". Something simple like little one or pretty girl, generic. Then this is when they get both their collar and their slave name. In this case the girl is going from "pretty girl" to "princess". I begin: The room is dim, but there are a few candles lit, casting a glow. The applicant (as I call the new girls) kneels next to Puppy, jewel of my harem, which is a mix between a den mother and a mother superior. I slowly settle into my chair across the room from those two and look directly at the new girl who instinctively lowers her eyes, but lets out the slightest hint of a smile. "Lower your forehead to the floor, and begin crawling towards me," I tell her before she slowly obeys. I begin to recite as she crawls towards me and away from puppy: "For as long as man has walked beside animals he has used collars for a simple reason: To mark his possessions. To control them via means of a leash or just holding the collar. To show that they belong to someone. A collar tells others that this one is not stray, or unclaimed. A collar says something. Pride. Identity. Belonging. But above all that? It shows you are owned." I then reach down, and wrap the collar around her throat. she still hasn't looked up, her forehead still pressed to the floor. I gently lift her chin and smile, and look into her eyes. "Hello, pretty girl. My name is Master, and yours is Princess" Usually there's a soft "hi" and a smile. What you do after this is completely up to you, but I usually turn my personality all the way back on and say something akin to "OK get your ass over here" and wrap her up in a bear hug. Couple notes: I paced myself, matching my cadence to her speed and being careful to finish as she approached. If need be take a moment to tell her to slow down or speed up. Do so with swiftness and command. Something like "I'm sure your more eager to receive your collar than that. you can move a little faster." or "This isnt a race, you will slow down, breathe." I maintain a strict "sir" only name until this point. I am a random dom, therefore I am sir. Its only after she's collared that its official and she can call me Master, Daddy, or whatever was decided upon. The name she was gonna call me was established long ago. I've got a whole post called "Whats in a name?". Take this, modify it to your own needs, critique it, and enjoy.

Everything He Has, Until There Is Only Me There is a particular music to it that I do not think you can understand until you have heard it in a room that belongs to you, with someone who has given you permission to play. The crack of a whip is not violence. It is punctuation. It is the sound of a sentence ending exactly where you intended it to end, clean and final and ringing in the air long after the moment has passed. It lands and the room holds its breath and in that held breath is everything: the authority that swung it, the surrender that received it, the particular electricity that lives in the space between the two. I feel it in my wrist first, then in my chest, then in the slow, satisfied warmth that moves through me when something has gone exactly as I intended. The skin that receives it blooms and I watch that blooming the way an artist watches a canvas accept color. With attention. With pleasure. With the specific pride of someone who knows their medium. The paddle is a different thing entirely. Where the whip sings, the paddle speaks in a lower register, a hard and resonant thud that you feel in your bones before your skin has finished deciding what happened. There is no elegance to it and that is precisely the point. It is blunt and declarative and it leaves no room for ambiguity. You know what it means when it lands. You knew what it meant before it landed. The sound of it fills a room completely, the way a bell fills a room, and the echo of it lives in the body for hours afterward, a reminder that resurfaces every time you shift your weight, every time you sit, every time your body moves against itself and finds me there, already waiting. The cane is my favorite. I will not pretend otherwise. There is a patience to the cane that suits me. The way you must take your time with it, must place it with intention, must understand that it is not a blunt instrument but a precise one. The marks it leaves are not accidents. They are calligraphy. Long and deliberate and raised against the skin like script, like something written, like the physical evidence of a conversation that only two people in the world were present for. I trace them afterward sometimes, these lines I have drawn on a body that belongs to me, and feel the same quiet satisfaction that I imagine a sculptor feels running a hand over finished stone. I made this. This is mine. You will carry this for days. And my own skin, where the energy moves through me like current, where the act of wielding produces its own particular heat, a tingling that lives in the palms and travels, that settles somewhere behind the sternum and glows. I glow. There is no more honest word for it. Something in me lights from the inside when I am in full possession of my own authority and someone is receiving it with everything they have. Neruda wrote that he wanted to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees, and I have always understood this not as tenderness alone but as inevitability, as the specific hunger of something that transforms whatever it touches simply by being what it is. That is what I want from you. Not your performance of devotion. Your actual transformation. I want to be the thing that happens to you, the season that changes the look of everything, so that you cannot see your own hands without thinking of what they are for, cannot move through a room without feeling the architecture of my expectations around you like a second skin. I want to wring you dry. Not cruelly. Completely. I want every thought that crosses your mind to carry my fingerprints on it, want you so thoroughly oriented toward me that pleasing me stops being a task and becomes simply the direction your nature moves, the way water moves downhill without deciding to. I want your first thought in the morning to be what She needs today and your last thought at night to be whether you gave it well enough. I want the obsession to be so total that it clarifies rather than confuses you, the way a religion clarifies the faithful, the way a vocation clarifies an artist who has finally stopped pretending they could have been anything else. Bring me what delights me. You know what it is because you have paid attention, because attention to me is the one thing I require above all others and you have either given it or you have not. By now we both know which. The particular tea, the correct temperature, in the cup that fits my hand the way I like. The flowers I mentioned once three months ago that I did not think anyone was listening to. The way a room should be before I enter it, the light and the temperature and the specific quiet that tells me someone has thought about me before I arrived. The knowledge, brought to me unprompted, of something I would want to know. The book left on my nightstand, the right one, chosen not from a list I gave you but from everything you have learned about the country inside my mind. Shower me in it until I glow. Charlotte Bronte understood this, I think, better than she is given credit for. Rochester did not love Jane Eyre the way men in novels usually love women, as a soft and worshipful thing, a pedestaling. He loved her with his whole difficult complicated weight, loved her as his equal and his better and his necessity, and she received it not with flutter but with the straight-backed dignity of a woman who has always known her own worth and was simply waiting for someone else to catch up. That is the love I recognize. Not the love that flatters but the love that sees, that is almost furious in its recognition, that cannot look away because looking away would require pretending the world is smaller than it is. Neruda again: I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees. Yes. And also: I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. The wanting in Neruda is never polite. It is consuming and precise and it names its object with the specificity of someone who has studied what they love until they know it better than it knows itself. That is the quality of devotion I am describing. Not the vague warmth of general affection. The focused, detailed, almost scholarly hunger of someone who has made another person their life's primary text. Learn me that well. Want me that specifically. Bring it to me not in grand declarations but in the ten thousand small and correct details that prove you have been paying attention every single day, that prove my preferences live in you the way music lives in a musician, available instantly, expressed naturally, impossible to separate from who you have become. And when I glow, and I will glow, when something in me settles into that incandescent satisfaction of being known and tended and

Things I require - because I'm human 1. Be dependable- this means to come if you say you are coming... this means to contact me if you are late... this means to let me know if you can’t come. This is important whether dominant or submissive. It is common courtesy. 2. Be honest. If you can’t make it, tell me. If you don’t want to, say you don’t. If you aren't honest in everyday things, how can I trust you enough to be with you in a relationship dynamic? 3. Communicate - I’m not needy or clingy. But a little “hey how’s your day” every now and then, or just some time to talk when you aren't red hot horny, will go a long way. How else do you get to know each other well enough to do the things we do? 4. Be public. I don’t care if you are shy. I don’t care if you are private. (in regards to going to a public event) Refusing to be seen SOMEwhere with me is a red flag.  5. Be willing to do some vanilla things. Get together for dinner. Go to a movie. Stay in for a movie. Take a walk in the park, with no promise of anything kink related or sexual. It doesn't have to cost you anything but time. There has to be a connection other than lifestyle. 6. Have SOMETHING in common with me outside of fetishes. Like the same documentaries. Enjoy the same music. Have something to talk about in our down time, because we can’t always be up. 7. Listen to me. Hear what I say. If I say it, believe it. 8. Stay in contact, and reply in a timely manner. It is a waste of time and effort if you are only going to reply once ever other week or three. Life is too short to leaving people hanging.9. Don't just ghost people. If you lose interest, or are are not interested in a first message, just say so. I will not be angry, and I will trouble you no more.   10. Expect all these things from me. Because these things are not Dominant things... nor submissive things... These are HUMAN BEING things.

Sharing some things that goes on in our minds... Pet is in a black latex catsuit with a realistic pony hood and hoof boots. Bite gag tightly in place. Body, arms, and legs restrained tightly to a gyn chair. The usual steelworxx cage swapped for a spiked one. The owner is wear black hello kitty scrub top with black scrub pants with hello kitty crocs and pigtails. Black face masks, nitrile gloves, and ovipositor strapped on.  It's IVF day for the lil' pony.  It will be plugged after three cum laced gelatine eggs fill its holes. Then a cautery pen will discretely mark the first insemination date on its inner thighs.  How did we acquire the cum you ask when pet is locked in a steelworxx 247? smirks... Well, pet is not always a pony.   

Dark Chocolate can be an exotic flavor  So creamy and smooth, you desire a taste  The aroma is inviting The visual draws you in and puts you on your knees I see you salivating so eager to please  I pull you closer and utter the words breathless and moaning "oh my goodness, stay right there!" You're such a talented pet and you know ho w to please

What I like about being a Bull Sometimes I am asked what I like about being a Bull with a cuckold couple. That is not an easy question to answer, but I’ll try. I’m a dominant person, and always have been. I like being the one in charge. So I naturally tend to find myself at the top of the food chain in every situation. When I’m with a couple there are several elements that appeal to me, which make the relationship more appealing than the traditional boyfriend & girlfriend. First, a married woman is in it for the sex. Her motivations are not unlike ours (men). She is not looking for a relationship (she has one). She is not looking for drama (she wants none). She will not hound you or stalk you or pester you like many single women. With a married woman it’s all about the sex. When you meet with her (or them) there will be little small talk, socializing or wasting time. Sex is on her mind, and it’s everyone's goal. Once her and your sexual cravings are satisfied she will go back home, with or to her husband. It’s perfect for someone like me who enjoys frequent, explosive sex with someone who is only too willing to provide it. So, my first answer is sex, sex and more sex. But there are other sides to it, too. Believe it or not I like helping other couples spice things up. I know Bulls are often painted as selfish, cock-wielding studs that are interested only in themselves, but that’s not usually the case. I, and others like me, enjoy interacting with couples and helping them reignite their flame in the bedroom. Like I mentioned, I am dominant and I enjoy the domination theme. It’s empowering to have a woman offer herself to me, especially when it’s a beautiful married woman who would normally be off-limits to anyone except her husband. Say what you want, but there is something edgy about hitting a pussy that was promised to someone else, especially when the wife is a stone cold fox, and someone you would NEVER suspect of being a submissive slut for another man behind closed doors. Last, I love being dominant over a couple in the husband's presence. There’s something deeply satisfying when I see a husband silently watch me ravage his wife in their marital bed, knowing that he’s getting off on the whole show. Most husbands I know are not submissive. However they do become extremely passive when I assert myself in their presence. Not only does this appeal to me, but I enjoy the wife’s reaction as well. The more passive the husband is the more sexually responsive the wife becomes, and that leads to even better sex. Once you have taken the time to build a good cuckold relationship with the right couple the encounters can become intense, fulfilling and practically addictive. What man would not want that?

In vanilla terms I seek a single guy, lifestyle submissive, with FiVE years experience in a FLR whilst going out to pubs (munches) and clubs (FemDom fetish clubs) to go out with me in his car that he drives, three times a month, sometimes a little more. Long-term to first go for dinner, drinks and socialise.  When the rapor is there I will give S&m play on his body in a fetish club. (I don't play at home.) I call it the opposite theory.  When I was freshly divorced a few years back and made it clear I only wanted light-hearted fun, guys got upset because I declined a long-term relationship with them. After 20 years of marriage I was allergic to commitment.  As a Poly Dominant Woman, now looking for a single, live-out second guy.( I think seeing a guy a few times a month long-term can be seen as a relationship. Well I do anyway.) Unfortunately no guy who approaches is seeking long-term and I don't play on the first EiGHT meets. Though I like younger guys I am also aware they are not looking for commitment so won't be suitable for what I seek.  

Keeping in mind that as soon as I saw that he had written before, I rolled my eyes and made a choice to respond, knowing how this was gonna go, and since I'm in a mood, it was slightly amusing and I almost chuckled when he did exactly what I expected him to do. Which I'm sure would have pissed him off worse... I received this today from someone listed as a Dom, who had contacted me well over a year ago, then again last December. Just 4 months ago, but he's once again completely forgotten that he wrote me before, that he was asked to do something then disappeared, forgot that he had written the second time and was REMINDED, and asked if he had done it yet, but wanted me to commit to being interested (in someone who had ghosted once already and hadn't done anything he was asked to do, which was to read and EDUCATE HIMSELF, not do anything that benefited ME, but instead forgot even speaking to me) and now he's written me again. With the same message as the first two times. 3/6/22 6:48 AM "Good morning, Miss, Hope you are doing well I am wondering if per chance you could possibly be open to a 64 going on 34 year old sub and iring slave located in North Aurora, west of chicago who is intelligent openminded kinky adventurous fun and selfassured about who and what he is? Most of all one who seeks a true Owner and Domme who is a totally devoted to you like me? It is so hard to find a genuine and suitable Domme and Owner in this lifestyle I hope you find me to be exceptional seems like we want the very same thingfor You to take total control of memind body and soul And what you depict your profile is quite interesting and just what I know I need Although my profile says I am a Dom, I have come to realize I am a stone sub I have the ability desire and wherewithal to host and come visit and ultimately relocate should it come to that I travel your way quite a bit on business But most of all I would love to just have the honor and privilege to get to know you you seem so genuine Hope to hear from you"   This is what I wrote him just now. I think it was pretty mild, all things considered. "angeldmort on 3/6/22 at 7:20 AM: Considering that we had a conversation not 4 months ago and you've already forgotten that, I guess not And you obviously didn't read my profile THIS time, either So youve spammed me twice, I let you off the hook last time and had a conversation anyway, and now you are back having done the same exact thing, so you learned jack shit last time and are telling me either how forgettable I am, or how incredibly forgetful and lazy you are Either way, buhbye" and his entirely predictable reply - "sorry Had I known you were such a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered personI would not have contacted you in the first placenot at all the type of Domme or person I want in my life Who wants to take the time to read all the gibberish anyway Thanks and buhbye to you, too"   Now, this is not at ALL even remotely uncommon. This is the Standard Operating Procedure for guys contacting women via the internet for the purpose of getting the attention they want. They bury us in compliments, make grand sweeping statements about their desire for a relationship, and when they don't get it, usually because of their own screwups, they immediately do a 180 and get verbally abusive. (Or if in person, physically abusive/violent/deadly.) And in this case, since it's a BDSM centered site, he stated he wanted a Domme "to take total control of me mind body and soul." But apparently that did not extend to actually asking him to DO anything. Even if it makes him better able to get what he wants.   When I asked him back in December if he had read any of the books I recommended to him, based on his complete lack of submissive experience and his stated desire to get some, he replied "Quite honestlyI have not But if You feel You are truly interested in me, I will gladly do so as I know that would make me better prepared to be the best I can be for you should it come to that And that would be my entire focus"   Do you see the problem? A total stranger on the internet. We have exchanged a few emails. That's it. I have to profess my TRUE interest in him, without knowing him beyond what his shown so far in this extremely limited way. After he has already failed to do the most basic of things - - actually READ my profile, which has a couple things in it specifically to let me know if someone read it, right at the very tip top where it's easy to see - written a profile that actually reflects who is is, instead of one that he thinks will get him laid as a Dom - write an actual email to me instead of sending me the copy/pasted message he sends every Domme - write a message to me that doesn't lie about having read my profile and "seems like we want the very same thing" - stick around in a conversation HE had initiated - done the only thing I actually asked of him, which was to read a book I thought would help him with his search - be honest about not wanting to do this, like a fucking adult, instead of ghosting like a little bitch - keep track of who he contacts so he doesn't insult my intelligence with another copy/paste message that just tells me I'm not interesting enough for him to remember Yeah. I'm gonna be SO interested. In blocking him from contacting me again. But he feels I should give that, before he has to give ANYTHING. He should get payment up front, before he begins the work of becoming someone in who a Domme COULD be interested in. Because ... He wants it? And being female, I should want to hand it to him on a silver platter.   And the second that is pointed out to him - the first time I explain that no, he has screwed up, and screwed HIMSELF over with his own actions, and lack of actions, and lack of basic effort on his own behalf, more than once? I am "a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered person." Because that's how a "submissive" responds to correction from a Dominant Woman? Or it seems to be, based on how this goes, over and over and over. No recognition of personal responsibility for his mistakes, no apology for ghosting, no appreciation of being given a reply despite the obvious lack of effort, no self-awareness at all that might lead to him fixing his mistakes, changing his course, and possibly finding what he claims to want. Just the immediate knee-jerk flip to insults and abuse. But hey, at least he didn't call me old, fat and ugly. That's the usual guy response to getting rejected.   And again, this is standard stuff. This is the main kind of interaction women have on dating sites. This is the main kind of interaction Dommes have on BDSM sites. It may as well be the same exact person writing me these, over and over. As the song says - "Only the names will change." This is not submission. This is self-entitlement. This is toxic masculinity. This is a fragile male ego. And THIS is what is standing between you and the Domme you want to kneel to. THIS is what we see and expect when you write us before reading our profile, when you send us a generic email that could have been sent to someone else, when you don't fill out your profile, when you want us to be "interested" before having an actual conversation and letting us get to know you. I know it sees like work, but honestly, without it, you are asking for a handout, and we know that hand will probably turn into

🧑‍⚕️ You know you might be coming down with something, and I'm afraid some tests and a thorough examination might be in order. 🧐 Now I have to make sure I'm protected as well 😷, so I'll need to perform some hands on testing 🧑‍🔬 with tight fitting latex gloves on. Snap snap, all prepped and ready. I'm sure you won't mind. And I will have to lube them up as well to get into some spots on and in your body. Now why do you undress for me behind the curtain, leave your bra and panties on for now, and go ahead and put this gown on.🧖‍♀️ Good. Ok, so sit down on the examination table. I'm going to take your temperature, open your mouth. 🤒 And give me your left arm so I can get this blood pressure cuff on you around your bicep. Pump, pump, pump, and listening to your pulse. 120 over 80. That's ok, normal. Oh, your temperature should be ready. Ah yes, 99.3. You are running a little hot. Are you a nervous? I want to check your reflexes now. You'll feel a tap here on your knee. 🦵 And the same with your right. That's good. So go ahead and remove your bra from under your gown. That's it. And now your panties. Oh, you're not wearing any. I see. Let me make a note of that in your chart. ✍ Well let's have you lay on your back, and get comfortable. Yes, that's it, good girl. You're going to have trouble seeing things for a minute while I turn this bright light on. It's so I can get a really good look at you. 🧐 The exam table underneath you might be a little cold at first. You'll just have to deal with it. Comfy, great, now let's make sure you're centered on the table. That's it, get your wrists between the arm binders at your sides and the leather wrist cuffs near your hips. Good, ok everything looks symmetrical. And let's get your legs apart between the leather ankle cuffs down here at this end of the table. Those are for the unruly patients. Are you going to be a good girl? Tell me. I'm not going to have to use those restraints on you, or am I? 🤔

Simple Life For A slave Written by submissive4dominant its a simple life for a slave. it is removed from the trails and tribulations of the world, it just has one focus, one thing to concentrate its attention on…Master. it can only do its best to follow every order to make life for Master as comfortable, pleasurable and easy as possible. Master has to think, it just has to do.  it has spent the day cleaning, preparing food, working out to make its body attractive for Master, meditating and focusing on how it can be a better slave, maybe practising a new skill it has been told to learn. A text alerts it to the fact that Master is 5 minutes away so it pours His favourite wine and kneels by the door, head bowed.  What happens next will depend on Masters mood. Mostly He will grab the wine, dump His briefcase for the slave to put away and slump onto the sofa. Unless ordered otherwise, the slave will crawl over and carefully remove Masters shoes and give Him an expert foot rub, whilst Master drinks and comes down from the stresses of the day. Of course if it has been a particularly bad day Master might need a different form of attention, need to get rid of His frustrations before He can truly relax. A slap to the kneeling slave as He comes in is the signal that it should go and position itself below the frame, offer its body for Master to release His tension on.  Yes, its a simple life. the slave just needs to live in the moment, it never knows what to expect, doesn’t need to..it just accepts, just obeys. Will it be slapped, will it be stroked…it doesn’t matter each comforts it, lets it know it is fulfilling its purpose in life. 

Four Steps...    A recent miscommunication has inspired me to write on the STEPS towards D/s service and/or "D/s dating", as I see it. 1. We text to see if we want to talk. 2. We talk to tell if we want to meet. Note: I prefer local gents because it helps keep this step simple, without significant investment (time, emotional, financial). However, each step has flexibility for individual situations.   3. We meet to find out if we are drawn to each other and want to spend time together, both vanilla and D/s time. 4. Once dating, we would enjoy each other while we find our mutual understanding. Do we want monthly "dates", something more or something less? All these things unfold ONE STEP at a time, with good communication and each person making the right choice for themselves. (See my journal entry "The Depths of the Garage") I understand that the submissive thrall might cause you to want to give yourself totally. Your mind might race ahead to total ownership. YOU must manage your own urges. I hope you learn to enjoy submission for an afternoon or a weekend. That is D/s dating as I define it.   NOTE: Weeks into my widowhood, I am interested in "D/s dating". It is simply not the right time for me to even consider ANY long term relationship. At a different time I will feel a different way. I look forward to it.

  More Male Energy  I've come to realize that all of women in my inner circle are tomboys.  It's not like I'm attracted to them exclusively.  I just seem to like athletic women.  Take my Romanian girlfriend for example.  She's definitely the head of the household in her relationship.  She makes all of the money and makes all of the major decisions.  In fact, she's been with the same guy for years and they're not married.  She likes the idea that she could split at any time.   My other girlfriend is very much a tomboy.  Rather than doing girly things she's much more at home working on a car or building a deck.  She also likes being nude and playing pickleball.  We get along because she's a bikini girl like me.  We spend lots of time together sunbathing and talking.  She loved the swinger lifestyle.   I have a gay girlfriend who's been with the same girl for a long time.  We don't spend much time together as I'd like because my wife is very jealous of her.  But we have a lot in common and I know she's attracted to me.  Her significant other is butch looking.  She runs her own business and is very smart.  The last thing in these girls mind is a man! And then there's my submissive wife.  She spends most of her time thinking about how to please me.  To the outside world she's this dynamic ball of energy whose ready to pitch in for the fight.  At home, she wants to do everything I want to do.  She can turn that male energy on and off like a switch.   We both know who is in charge here.    

   Submit to yourself and to the idea of submission. Give in. Give it up.    She will see it. She will be drawn to it. She will know.      She will hear your cry and see your hunger and it will cause Her own to rise    Express it without hesitation and without vulgarity.    And most importantly, express it with dignity and in a language of whispers only She will hear. Live it from your center, from your soul. 

Chapter one - Sweet Slave (Or, How it all Began). A story I wrote for fetlife.I take the bottle of wine from the fridge and pull the cork, giving it a little time to breathe. I dice the onions, and throw them in the pan. I like that sizzling sound they make... I add the spices, then diced chicken breast. I let it brown a little, before adding the coconut milk and putting the rice on. I get a text from you - you're on your way. I start dressing the table - a rose in a vase, a candle in a brass candlestick, nothing too fancy. I'm not the fancy kind, I don't want to give the wrong impression this early on in a relationship. If this works out, I want it to be for the right reasons. The doorbell rings shortly afterwards. You're smiling as I open the door and ask you in, you genuinely seem pleased to be here - pleased to see me. "I didn't know what else to bring," you say, handing me a bottle of red wine. I smile and kiss your cheek, then take you to the kitchen, where the meal is spread out already. You give me a coy smile as I pull out a chair for you to sit down. "This looks amazing." You take a bite. "You weren't lying, you really do know how to cook!" you exclaim. "This tastes amazing, my local takeaway could learn a thing or two from you..." you giggle a little as you speak. "Honestly, it's such a simple recipe, and I just add a little double cream, it gives it something extra," I say, glad that you seem to be honestly enjoying the food. I pour you a little wine and smile at you. "I'm really glad you agreed to this, I know it must make you very nervous," I say. "I haven't had much luck with first dates in the past. I don't seem to make a good impression until someone truly gets to know me. I guess that's why I wanted to chat online for a while before we actually did this." You smile and look down at your plate, pushing food around, then taking a bite. You glance up at me and smile again, blushing a little. "I'm very shy around people I like - you know, that way," you say. "I was glad you wanted to go slowly at first too." I smile back at you, a sweetness seems to wash over me from your direction. I'm a little enamoured by you already, but I dare not say that to you, in case it scares you off. Something inside me feels your submissive nature - your little glances at me, the way you hide your face partially with your silky hair. The way you blush when our eyes meet, and immediately look at the floor, smiling. I like it. I kinda want to growl at you, but that feels premature. We finish dinner, then we sit down to watch the movie we'd decided on beforehand. Amélie. We've both seen it before and loved it, but neither of us has seen it in a long time - so it seemed a safe way to spend a little time together. I put my arm around you and we watch the film, wonderfully quirky yet romantic, watching Amélie fall for Nino. As the movie ends, I find that you've wrapped yourself up in my arms and you're clinging to my arm, resting against me like I'm a giant teddy bear. You start sucking on my thumb... I look at you for a moment. I'm not certain what to make of this action. You turn to me and smile. "I'm... I don't know why I did that..." you say, looking concerned. I smile at you, letting you know I don't mind, and you smile back, relaxing visibly. I kiss you... You tense up and squeak, then let out a little sigh as you relax. I put my hand on your back and pull you closer, you put your arms around my neck in return, and we kiss - gently at first, but heat builds up between us and it's not long before we're kissing with a fervent passion. I push you down onto the sofa and pin your arms above your head, kissing you into the sofa. You moan and put your legs around my waist. I break the kiss and growl at you. You squeak again, then look at me like a naughty schoolgirl. You have the same thing on your mind as I do. I pick you up, carry you to the bedroom, and put you on the bed gently. I start undressing you as I kiss you, getting a little rougher with each garment tossed aside - until finally I tear your panties off and toss them who knows where. I rub your pubic mound in circles as I kiss you, teasing you, and you let out a little moan. I break the kiss and look into your gorgeous, sparkling eyes. You look comfortable, I see no fear in your eyes, just a naughty twinkle. "I have something for you," I say. I take a pair of fur-lined cuffs from my side table and I secure your wrists to the headboard. I pull your legs apart and I settle between your thighs, my face so close to your sex you can feel my breath. You have a buttplug in your ass, topped with a heart-shaped crystal. I rub it gently in circles for a moment, teasing you with it. "Oh, oh, I umm..." you start to say, but I lick your clitoris and you let out a squeal. "Oh, lordy, please don't stop..." you whisper, breathlessly. I lick your clitoris until it starts to engorge, then I start sucking on it gently. You squeal again, looking down at me, and we lock eyes as I pleasure you with my mouth. "I've never... No-one's... Oh, my god..." you say, seeming a little overwhelmed. I push a finger into you gently and you gasp, your breath hitching a little. "Please, please don't stop, or I'll explode," you say to me, eyes practically begging. I feel you open up and I push another finger into you, fingering you for a few moments before I turn my fingers upward, find your G-spot and massage it gently with both fingers. You hit the back of your head on the pillow repeatedly, then lie back and whisper "What... What are you doing to me??". It barely takes a minute and you're panting. I build up pressure on your G-spot, licking and sucking your clit with more enthusiasm. You start to roll your hips involuntarily, which I take as a sign that you're close, so I up the pressure a little more, watching you closely for signs I'm overdoing it - but you just squirm on the bed, eyes closed, rubbing your cheek against your arm and gasping. You seem to be trying to say something, but you're clearly too overwhelmed to manage to get your thoughts into some cohesive form. I feel you tighten around my fingers and your body shudders. Your legs tremble gently and you arch your back. "Ohhh... Oh my... My lord... OOOOH! OOOOH FUCK!" I smile. I know you're not big on profanity, so I take this as a very good sign. Moments later, you're smiling down at me, panting. You look at me with such affection that I think you're going to propose to me for a moment, but then you say "No one's ever done that to me before. Please tell me we can do that again sometimes, it was amazing". I smile up at you. "Only all the time, gorgeous. But now, it's my turn." I pull your legs up either side of your head and penetrate you gently. You immediately squeal out in pain, screwing up your eyes. I pull out. "I... I haven't... It's been a long time..." you say. I stroke your hair and push a finger gently into your wetness. You let out a sigh, and I finger you gently, slipping in another finger, then after a while, I feel you open enough that I can slip in a third. "You're extremely tight, gorgeous," I say. You look embarrassed. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie. I'm sorry I hurt you." "I... I kinda liked it..." you say. I look at you and let out an involuntary growl. My fingers come out of you and my dick goes in. You bite your lip and squeak again. "Tell me how you feel," I say. "It hurts a little... But I like it... Please, don't stop..." you reply. You

Forced Fem and Humiliation might not be so bad after all   A couple of years ago my Master thought up a new way to humiliate me when he bought a little frilly French maids costume online. He plan was initially to make me wear it while I did chores around the house. He wasn't in to TVs or sissies he just thought it would amuse him to see me walk to the end of the garden to put bags of rubbish in the bin especially as the garden faced a busy street. He also found it funny to lock the door behind me so I would spend a while cowering outside trying not to be seen before he opened the door again. Don't worry the humiliation wasn't a bad thing it could just get a little cold out there sometimes. He also used to make me wear it when his friends visited to serve them drinks. It was on one of those visits with Masters friend constantly putting his hand up my skirt (sanctioned by Master) that the subject of it being cold outside came up. The friend suggested only the dress wasn't enough I should at least have proper underwear and at least 1 pair of stockings. Master agreed and one day I came home to the additions to my new outfit sitting on the table. I was instructed to go and try them on. After a few struggles with the stockings I came out to show Master. He approved and showed me how much by ensuring that my new knickers I had only had for 10 minutes needed to go into the wash. Now when I did chores I was properly dressed and Masters friends seem to like it too. I liked it too.  I was never a sissy but I looked forward to dressing up, even running to the bins never seemed so bad. I confess I have dressed up sometimes since, and would like someone who likes it to push me  bit more.

7/10/2023 It's been a long time since I updated my profile or made a journal entry so thought I would catch up a bit. I found my mate or rather she found me one evening when we were both online and onsite here. She made a snarky comment about my then profile picture which had one of my pack llamas in it. We started yacking back and forth and 3 days later met on a local walking trail with our dogs and have been together ever since. We live together in a monogamus M/s 1950s lifestyle. She takes care of me full time and I provide the income, roof over our heads and security. I retired 3 years ago so no more alarm clocks and 12 hour commute/work days! We go camping with our tent trailer either across the mountains or to the ocean several times a year. We have been going on long road trip vacations to National Parks every year or two. Last Year was a 4 week trip to 6 National Monuments and 5 National Parks in Oregon, Idaho and Utah. Lots of Lava, caves, arches, spires, hoodoos and canyons! We've been together coming up on 9 years now since we met on that walking trail. We will be together for the rest of our lives! Not bad HUH!!!

I am a good looking guy with that girl's attitude inside. A girl who wants to be dominated by a big man. I dream of being kept weak and skinny. I am a girly girl and more submissive than I can believe! I love to feel that way while helping you feel like a strong man. Very picky and never met with anyone yet. I do get hit on a lot here and sometimes real life but I want to get owned and collared by the right MAN. Not going to meet a bunch of guys. The strong Grizzly bear of a man will have to impress this gurl. Then I will submit to my superior Sir. I love feeling like a weak little cu%t so to speak. I am impotent making it my sensitive little cl%t , making me even more a weak little cu%t So being kept barefoot and knocked up is the path to my heart. I am Submissive ,weak and docile when I want to be and oh do I ever want to be. I am dainty and delicate boosting and caressing your manly ego and balls at my expense. Silly but it's how I feel. You real men run the world so I can stay barefoot and in the kitchen, ready to drop to my knees! Safe from everyone but you. I am quiet and shy in girl mode. Writing this makes me feel so weak and needy. That's just my vibe when we are together.  Proper girls like me believe you are superior! Not looking for overly serious situation. Unless you take away my rights and freedoms? If I got overwhelmed by your manly dominance I might willingly give up my current freedoms to be your slave wife daughter property. Micro manage this girl with your manly power! Brainwash me with your strong intellect making me more obedient and weaker and thinner from skipping dinner. Also pamper me by carrying me from the kitchen to your bed like I'm a weak little girl. Helps keep me weak. Are you still reading? :) I just admitted quite a lot here. I wish more profiles were as clear as this. So besides being femmy, I am smart and kind.     

!IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION I'm looking for someone initially to come in as a cleaner / domestic drudge for a few hours either weekly or fortnightly and then go away again. I have no intention of putting anyone up overnight, nor am I initially looking for any more than stated above although whoever is chosen will be subjected to strict oversight by myself and be suitably punished should they not perform to the required standard. With that in mind, you MUST be based in South East UK, either in Kent or able to asily get to mid Kent from where you live, so SE London, Essex, Surrey or Kent itself. I would have amended my profile to reflect this but as that then means my profile disappears for up to a week I've been compelled to add it here. Goddess Abyssia

Public Service Announcement: There is no separate Bookmark feature so some of us use Favorites to Bookmark (Can you think of why one might not use the browser bookmart feature? Multiple reasons there too) Having seen the latest of a long string of examples of people expressing frustration about "someone added me to Favorites but never wrote me" and how could they do such a thing to me (in their case, I have not added them, or anyone else, to my Favorites in a while..but obviously someone else did) it's a good time to remember this basic fact: People sometimes use it to essentially bookmark. And there's many reasons one might do so. One might have positive or negative or neutral or mixed feelings about the profile as a whole or parts of it, or wish to look up a book or quote or something else in it and so on.    True, for a subset of cases, such an Add to Favorites might actually represent someone trying to be cute or trying to get your attention and not having the courage to... and so on, etc. But this applies to far, far from all instances.. Ascribing it to all cases would be not merely a case of stereotyping, but here, also, it would be a case of simply being flatly mistaken, in so many cases. It's easier to avoid needless conflict or tentson or worry by realizing such things and then making one's own choices about how or when or whether to respond.

Some people should stop watching porn Lets start with this umm Master, we will call him MasterJS. He has just joined and contacted me asking if I was interested in 2 slaves as he had to get rid of them. I asked why and he said he was getting too old and he was going back to his wife and kids.  How nice to take the time to dump them off with anyone. He tells me they were house slaves and listed what they would do, severl things which are against the law.  I asked him if he or they would be paying for all that was needed for them to move to another country. He said that would be at my expence.  It is funny he blocked me but what is sad was he did not read my profile where he would have learned I am not into women.  I have also had a message almost the same conversation a while ago so my guess is this person watches too much porn.  If you cant be bothered to read my profile dont contact me and make offers.

Why I do NOT want My bags carried.   Those who know Me well, know I have gone on quite the health journey in the last 4 years.  I understand much more than I once did.  Due to this, I carry My own heavy cameras and camera bags, I will pick up purchases in the store that are heavy and not allow a male with Me to carry them for Me, and any attempt or offer to do so, is firmly rejected.   So, why do I do that?  It is simple, staying healthy means picking up heavy things, pushing the body.  Yes, I go to the gym and lift weights, use resistance machines, etc.  But, I absolutely embrace when LIFE brings the chances to do so, without special time set aside, etc.   Grins, I will admit when the male is being looked at by others, as though he is not doing his job, I find his discomfort and embarassment, quite entertaining.  One time, I was out photographing, with the same cameras you see on My profile, and another male chastised the male with Me, for not carrying My gear.  I laughed and made it VERY clear, he was not allowed to do so, as it did not suit My purposes.  Of course, it was MY decision!!  

Well, let me kick off this writing to you with this first document This one and all others may use words and describe parts of life and relationships that the uninterested my find offensive I also may often you the word you or another pronoun that has the same meaning I am writing to your mind to read and understand me and give me significant feedback so I understand you as well Because I am writing this more or less on the fly, the thoughts may be laid out a bit more scattered than a book, but too bad I am writing to the submissive deep in your mind and being, the slave or the masochist that needs and desires and wants and needs more So hang in there You must have a very strong mind which is determined to learn things most just ignore Let me touch on some emotions as the physical, mental and emotional state of life is so deep into all this Most people are basically insecure That is why research has shown that up to 98 percent of people are very satisfied being followers and letting others take the responsibility of decision making and leadership The mentality of a person that advocates she is a slave is right there She looks first of all for safety and security and close behind that is the need to feel wanted, to be needed, to be of value In return for that emotional reassurance she is very willing to do almost anything to please another because that is the one great thing she has the power to do Being bound tight she nearly always tests the bondage to see if she can get away It is important to her that she cannot because it has an emotional meaning that someone took the extra time to insure that grip on her and it carries the meaning that she is wanted Almost any of strict control, humiliation and abuse is far better than being alone and unwanted It does not need the complications of sex or to say someone loves you or that they would never want someone else one day far off At that moment it is a simple fact they want you and that is what starts your life living As you step into it deeper, being blindfolded or hooded restricting eyesight calms you in very deep ways Its that other one is taking responsibility for you and your needs and most of all your safety You will want to feel it, and reach out for the one controlling you that way Being locked in a cage has at least a double meaning emotionally You are restrained and kept and thus very limited in what you can do without someone wanting you to do it by letting you out But there is also that gate and lock between you and the world, which can be seen as keeping all the evil things that chase you real or imagined out where they can not reach you A strict cage not only is like your prison, but also like your base or your fortress where again you are safe, where you can indeed relax and sleep And that collar Like a wedding ring, it means so much to a submissive slave She has made it and her ownership and that desire to take her is on display for all to see When you can, you finger it and hold it and fidget with it, and know it is there for a real purpose But to have all this requires that someone really does want you, be it for the better or the worst, that want and desire is real and gives you a place and purpose in life And with that, you are never really alone In time, you may feel frighten or scared or even cry when it is taken off when for a short time Even deeper is the matter of control, and how it reaches into your personal thoughts and life and gives you something to live up to and meet in a consistent way Both pain and pleasure are emotions first and are often never tended well in everyday life In a stricter life, so much fluff and useless energy is removed or not allowed and something special happens You can focus You can see more clearly yourself and all you need to be as well as all you want to be Yes, it takes time and training and understanding to know the reason why you feel that the slave in you must submit and submit deeply and unendingly Those emotions of need and want are so different and so rarely understood You can want this feeling to be like a beautiful ring to wear, and you want it a lot but you can eat and drink and breathe without it everyday of your life A need is like the air that you breathe and that need is so powerful that a few minutes, without it you are dead A slave grows up wanting things, but at the same time she grows up needing things Control and submission show the path of making the needs a reality You learn to focus on those things in life that are needs and those that are wants when all the fluff is removed and those distractions to your emotional thought process are removed I am a writer, and a scientist and I can go on and on about this, and do so in the face of all those that just want their experience to be sex with a little rope The true slave and the true owner learn that there really is so much more to this life

Ok so I don't know but I have this vision in my mind of me serving  a strong woman she has silver hair and loves and expects me to be at my best and in my  dreams I do  in them I begin my day at the foot of her bed awakening before her to be able to prepare for her i wash and shower make her coffee begin her breakfast make sure everything is clean and straighten up before she wakes up I draw a bath make her toast and kneel at the side of the bed and slowly kiss her feet and up her body this normally wakes up her happy and refreshed but today seems different she simply lays on her back and says I have to pee I'm not used to this but I'm prepared I grab a towel climb on the bed between  her legs put the towel under me just in case and attach  my mouth to her she releases herself very slowly allowing me to breathe and swallow it's quite sour being her first of the day but I know from experience that this is what she wants and my best course of action is to drink her clean her and allow her to go back to sleep as I'm thinking this I notice the stream has stopped and she's pushing my head , she quietly  says clean me  and I run an fetch a warm washcloth I wipe her and she rolls over and says I'm still tired and would like to sleep turn off the shower and coffee and go do the laundry be back here at 8am and wake me up by massaging and kissing my back I expect the laundry to be done and I would like oatmeal instead of toast now I have my task and an hour to complete them    this is normally when I wake up with a raging hardon and I gotta admit I always feel a  little dirty like is there something wrong with me for wanting this type of relationship?       it's October and the submissve inside of me wants to be allowed out to play i do a pretty good job at surp them have for a few years now  But can I tell you how bad I yearn to be slapped smacked and spit on i really really love to be used and abused and honestly it's been too long 

Superior Integrity Honest Protective Dominant Sadistic Arrogant Corrective Controlling Intense Sarcastic Creative Raunchy Deviant   Step up correct or do not step up at all.

It was a mixture of arousal, curiosity and his final reassurance that made her mind up. She knew she could say ‘Stop’ and he would, though that could be permanent, it was an instinctive decision that made her move towards the lift and later she realised why she made it. There was a logical progression to it. She was a stubborn person with a rebellious streak and a free will who made her own decisions and didn’t blame others when they went awry. Here she was reigning in her rebellious streak of her own free will and her natural instincts reinforced this. Her stubbornness would make her comply with what she wanted in this regard, even though it seemed counterintuitive.  Now it was a rush to the receptionist’s desk to get a pen, the envelope was already open and had the room number written on it. The contract was one piece of A4 paper and the male receptionist must have seen the bold type headline which stated ‘SUBMISSIVE’S CONTRACT’. She didn’t have time to read it all, her instinct told her that he would not put anything in it that he had not said. And what would be the point as it was a symbolic act, not a contract that could be legally enforced.  She hurried the short distance to the lift; the concierge seemed to have anticipated her need and he had pressed the button, she momentarily wondered if he knew. Once inside she selected the 4th floor. Her heart missed a beat when just before the doors closed a woman stepped into the lift causing the doors to recycle again and they selected the 3rd floor; she knew this would delay her further. She willed the lift to move faster but still almost in two minds about what she was doing, but she wanted to be the decision-maker on this and not subject to an arbitrary cut off due to time. Her pride ensured she used the time to check her hair and lipstick in the mirror as she would not countenance the thought he would not find her attractive.  The lift reached the 4th floor and according to the large sign room 417 was to the right, she almost ran, nearly tripping over her heels on the thick carpet.  The door to room 417 was slightly ajar, and a ‘do not disturb’ sign was hanging on the handle. She stood for a second or two to let her breathing steady, it seemed to take ages for her hand to travel from to the door, her knock was timid and her stomach almost jumped as she heard the noise her hand made.  A firm reply was forthcoming a few seconds later. ‘Come in Joanna’. She swallowed, took a deep breath and gripping the envelope, pushed the door open and whilst trying to look calm she stepped inside and the door closed with an almost imperceptible click.  The room was warm and gently lit from the lamp above the desk he was sitting at. His jacket was over the back of his chair and the few papers he was attending too were lying about.  Nonplussed for a moment she stood there waiting for some sort of guidance, she knew what she had to do but some sort of signal from him seemed essential.  He understood, or knew, and stood before quietly saying, ‘Come here Joanna’. It was about 4 steps and he stood almost impassively as she greeted him properly. Her arms went around his waist and she pressed herself against him until he said that she could stop. This time it seemed natural and gave a moment when she could do something that seemed familiar and that she was in control of. It also served to break some of her tension before she stepped back ready to kneel. Kneeling seemed a strange and almost alien act; she had been on her knees in front of a man before, but then she was in control of him, she forcibly overcame her rebellious streak and found it disappeared almost entirely.  Her eyes cast down she noticed her knees were together, it seemed inappropriate so she moved them further apart. Taking a larger breath she looked down at his feet and with the envelope in both hands, she held it up to him.  He didn’t seem to move for ages, and then he took it from her hands. He checked her signature was on the contract before placing it amongst the other papers on the desk. This was a small action, however, it made her realise that she had voluntarily signed this part of herself over to him. He had taken possession and she was now his.  He turned the chair to face her and sat on it.  She was on her knees only a few feet from a man she had just given her submission to in writing, she was no longer so nervous, it was now anticipation mixed with exhilaration and her senses were alive! She was now free to be what he decided. He leant forward and lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look him in the eyes, ‘Joanna, you are now mine’ he said quietly.  After a pause during which he just looked at her he then continued ‘The photography will wait until tomorrow as there are a few matters from earlier today I will address straight away.’ He wasn’t asking for a reply, he told her to stand and rest her elbows on the desk. She was a little taken aback, whilst earlier considering what might happen this evening she thought he might just photograph her. In a way that would be easier to contemplate, she could understand it would be a reasonable first private meeting, however, she knew it would disappoint her.  But now he was going to ‘Address some matters’ and that sounded ominous, it made the butterflies in her stomach come alive again. She did as asked, putting her elbows on the desk. He told her to arch her spine downwards, this meant she was bent over much further than she felt comfortable, it made her bottom more pronounced and her skirt was tighter. Her knees flexed as she tried to contain the nerves generated by her bottom being so vulnerable, he ordered her to straighten her legs and keep them so, as it tightened the skin of her buttocks. What he did next was unexpected, he ran his fingers around her neck gathering her hair into his hand at the nape of her neck. He expertly wound it into a ponytail using a band that must have been around his wrist. She now felt even more vulnerable without the usual shield of hair that would normally surround her face. She nervously moved her weight from one foot to another. He told her to spread her legs wider to shoulder width. She glanced up into the mirror above the desk; she could see him standing a few meters behind her, looking at her in a way few men had done. It was not simple lust, his face was almost impassive, she could see he was comfortable looking at the salacious view she presented.  His voice was calm as he told her that she had been disobedient when she broke away from the greeting before she had been told she could, she had also been demanding in their early email exchanges. For these, she was going to have her bottom spanked, he said it would be a ‘cumulative dozen’ and if she made any of these mistakes again it would be a stricter punishment.  He told her to raise her skirt over her back, this unnerved her more, it was one thing to have her skirt lifted, but another to do it herself! She thought she could not, but his curt statement of ‘disobey and I will use a strap instead of my hand’ encouraged her. She rested her forehead on the desk and reaching behind her with both hands she lifted the hem of her skirt until it lay over her back. He then described the view he had of her bottom in very basic language. His description of the way her swollen sex lips bulged into her panties was particularly crude and said with distinctive pleasure.  A short while later he moved to her left side. He reached over her back and pulled her right hip towards him, holding her still by trapping her against his thigh.

Building a Shared Language Have you ever thought about the inherently flawed nature of language? What is the purpose of language? At the most basic level language is the attempt to take what is in my mind and communicate it to your mind. Much like the phone game this process is always going to be extremely imprecise. Words are concepts. I'm going to take a string of concepts as I understand them add modifiers and conditionals and then you are going to interpret those based upon your understanding of those concepts and modifiers. Take even the simplest of words. If I say a "tree", basically everyone understands essentially what I mean but not exactly. There are many different kinds of trees, they look very different from each other, they have different characteristics and quirks, different kinds grow in different areas of the world. I'm am in a more rural environment than say NYC is. Something tells me my relationship to the word "tree" is going to be much different from someone who grew up in an urban area. My mind makes different connections and ties different emotions, I'll picture something slightly different than every single person who hears me use the word. That's just for a relatively objective word like tree. What happens when we start getting into more esoteric concepts. Submission, wow talk about a word that can have so many meanings, so many different emotions and thoughts around it. The internet has been great in so many ways but it has also created a sort of collective consciousness, many words have been loaded up with toxic baggage. I like to talk about breaking a sub, but I don't mean it in the way you keep hearing it, the way the last 20 toxic people have used it.

 salaciouswhimzi