Why I Use Copy & Paste for My Intro Messages on FetLife (And No, It’s Not Because I’m Lazy... Mostly) Alright, let’s talk about the elephant in the chatroom: yes, I use a copy-and-paste message when I reach out to people on FetLife. There. I said it. Now before you clutch your pearls or sharpen your pitchfork, let me explain. As a man on this site, I’ve learned a hard truth—we don’t exactly have inboxes overflowing with attention. I log in, check my messages, and... crickets. Meanwhile, women on here need a personal assistant just to scroll through the "Hi sexy" DMs they get in an hour. I’m over here sending out introductions like I’m applying for internships in the kink community. Let’s be real: the ratio of men to women on this site isn’t fair. I’m not bitter, but if FetLife was a nightclub, the dudes would be forming a line out the door while the ladies are getting free drinks and VIP bracelets just for showing up. So, rather than write a brand new, handcrafted message every single time—like I’m writing a love letter to Juliet—I decided to work smarter. Enter: my trusty, respectful, and not-creepy copy-and-paste message. It’s polite, genuine, and has better grammar than most Craigslist ads. I took the time to make it sound like me (charming and slightly awkward), and then I saved it—because ain’t nobody got time to rewrite it 30 times a week. If someone replies? Awesome. Now we’re in business, and I switch to actual conversation mode like a decent human. Is it a little formulaic? Sure. But it’s not cold or robotic. It’s just my way of getting in the door without burning out or typing until my fingers fall off. It’s like using the same pickup line at a bar—it might be recycled, but if it makes you smile and we start vibing, who cares?   Bottom line: I use copy and paste because it’s efficient, not because I don’t care. Trust me, if I’m messaging you, I’ve read your profile and think there’s potential. I just don’t think you need a custom sonnet to say, “Hi, I liked your vibe and would love to chat.”

    Thought for the day. It takes very little to make a person’s day. It also takes very little to destroy it.  Be kind unless its appropriate not to.  

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

I have not written a note in so long. Life has been changing so much lately. new job, different city, then another new job and another old city. Now I am on a summer sabbatical of travel through the Atlanta and Savannah areas because I find it peaceful and love both cities for different reasons.   I need a new boy. A real boy with great energy, quiet strength and a cute smile.   I want him to dance for me. I want him to cook for me and share his secret thoughts that he seems too shy to tell anyone else. I want him naked and begging for me. I want him to clean and work for me. I want him to smile for me. I want that sweetness that is calm and not weak while also not being arrogant. I want him to NOT know everything because I still do NOT. I should be the ONE who gets to decide everything but I should NOT HAVE to be the ONE who THINKS of everything.   I wonder if this is to be found anywhere? I will hope for it. You don't have to be a perfect boy to start with me, but you do have to HOPE to become one for me.

So, i have been told that if i edit my profile it takes a while for it to come back up so i will add a few things here instead. 1. If you message me and ask for money, you will be blocked and reported.  2. If you message me with "hi" it will not get answered. You are supposed to be an adult, use your words. 3. If you are a married couple, poly or looking for a house maid or an animal...sorry, not interested, please move on. 4. If you do not live in the US, i am sorry, but i will not relocate to another country, i love the one i am in.  5. If you are a submissive and want anything other than friendship, i will not answer you. I am not bi and i am not looking to serve with a sister. I have 5 sisters, i dont want any more lol 6. I will not download multiple chat programs so if i dont have what you have i am sorry (I only have 2) I know, i know, i sound demanding for a sub. ;) Just trying to weed out the fakes and wannabes and those who only want a maid and cook. 

      The Democratic Dom: While it might sound like an oxymoron this Dominant is one who controls by agreement. Limitations, conditions, safe words, and times & places are all agreed upon beforehand and strictly adhered to.  Discussions between the Dom and sub are the norm and written contracts are not unheard of.     Punishment is both a training tool and very often a reward. It is dispensed by the Dom to achieve or reinforce a certain behavior in his sub and at the same time as a pleasurable (sexual) stimulation for the sub. While both punishment and reward may be two distinct areas in the relationship, many times the lines .     Submissives who are attracted to these situations are those who want the same agreed condition and especially the limitations. They can be called feisty, bad little girls, spoiled, hard to tame, because they like to challenge the limits and/or rules. Or because they have certain fears.     This can be a game area where fun supersedes the Dominant/submissive operative. The Dominant and submissive like the actual and varied activities and enjoy each other when participating in them. In many cases the submissive does not actually want to surrender but likes playing as if she does.     These relationships seem to be less long term, as this is the area where “thrill seekers” usually reside. Many like this type of situation since it is a convenient and safe way to play with D/s. It is fun and it makes it easy to feel like they are indeed practicing D/s. These same people while enjoying D/s related scenes are not as into the emotional side of dominance and submission as are others.     On the other hand this type also serves a very good purpose, acting as a safe passage into other variations of D/s, or for learning, especially among those who are doing this for the first time with someone new, or they are trying it for the first time ever. After some experience is gained in D/s activities these people begin to learn the “rules of the road”, so to speak. Sometimes leading to a more intimate and stronger D/s relationship.      

An evening, recalled by the lady, written by me.It was late afternoon and it had been a tough day at the Commission. His kiss when he met me at the station was warm and affectionate; we chatted on the way to the hotel and as we checked in. When we arrived in the room I dumped my stuff on the bed and went out onto the veranda to look out over the lake. A few minutes later I heard him say ‘come here please’. I turned to see him with an impassive look on his face and standing in the middle of the room pointing at the floor just in front of his feet. He took hold of me around my waist and as he kissed me deeply, his hands travelled from my waist down my hips and across my bottom. Then up my back to my neck and then he felt my hair. He murmured ‘give me your tongue’ and I slipped it between his teeth. He nipped it and held it between his upper teeth and tongue. It was uncomfortable but not painful, he had done it often before and I had grown to like it. His hands resumed their journey around my upper body. They were firm, confident and moved without any hesitation. I could not have ed even if I had wanted too and the welcome feeling of melting inside began. He then released my tongue, kissed my lips then he turned me around and bent me over so my elbows were on the bed. He lifted my skirt and folded it over my back. His hands then roved freely over my bottom and between my thighs. He felt my mons, traced the line of my slit and ran his fingertips between down the crease between my buttocks, pausing to press on my anus. He then held me firmly against his thigh and began to spank me- this had recently become a regular beginning to our time together. One spank per cheek, then two, then three, they landed on my upper thighs and the curve of my bottom. He stopped at six and spent a few minutes gently rubbing my bottom, occasionally slipping his hand between my thighs. At ten per cheek it was stinging a lot. By twelve I was having difficulty keeping still. It was the knowledge that if I moved he would start again that kept me in position. The spanking was not unexpected and it had the desired effect. I felt myself starting to melt inside even more as he rubbed my stinging bottom and thighs once again. He stopped and made me stand. Then looked me in the eye, and then said ‘I have a few issues to resolve with you’. My stomach took a lurch, I’d been here before, he had shown no sign of real annoyance with me recently but then he never really did. He took me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said ‘strip and kneel’. He then turned and went to the veranda. It only took a minute to remove all my clothes and jewellery. I knelt, apprehensive about his return, embarrassed it had been a warm day; I had been wearing tights and had not had the time to wash and prepare myself for him. My make up had gone and I knew I did not look my best. He returned and pushed me forward to my knees and elbows. Pulling back my hair he locked my leather collar around my neck. It felt strange after the long break since I last wore it. The wrist cuffs were fitted next before he clipped them behind my back pinioning my wrists. He pulled my collar by its short leash to make me kneel up and then buckled a gag around my neck and pushed the red ball behind my teeth before tightening   it. He turned me so my back was to the mirror and placed a low backed chair in front of me. He could now see both the back and front of me. Sitting on the chair he told me to part my thighs wide and to emphasise the point his foot nudged my knees wide apart. I hoped he wasn’t going to touch me between my thighs as he so loved too, I so regretted not taking a shower immediately we arrived in the room. From his pocket he took some butterfly style nipple clips. I hate them and he knows it, he threaded their chain into the ring at the front of my collar and after pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger to make them fully erect he clipped one to each nipple. The discomfort was almost unbearable, I instinctively closed my thighs, and he ed and gently tugged the chain, sending sharp jolts through me. I did as I was told and spread my thighs wide, pushing my mons forward as far as I could. The gag muffling my weak protests. He spoke slowly, jerking the chain on saying each word. ‘Three weeks ago you forgot your make up, two weeks ago your stockings, last week your high shoes. You have arrived in my company wearing tights for the last 4 weeks, hence the immediate spankings. You have not kissed or greeted me properly on meeting for the same length of time. You make up today is poor, your hair isn’t brushed and you have not left your pubic hair as I instructed. In short young lady you are marring your beauty. You are fully aware how beautiful I think you are and you are distracting from it by being sloppy and that disappoints me. I will not accept you detracting from the pleasure I take in having such a desirable woman as my lover. Do you understand?’ I nodded, my eyes starting to water from the discomfort in my nipples and the realisation of how I had disappointed him. There was also the knowledge that I had been here before and if it followed a similar pattern then this was the case against me. By nodding I admitted my guilt. So I was about to punished for being a sloppy and inattentive submissive who had disappointed her Dominant.  He helped me to my feet by lifting me by the collar on my ring; it also had the effect of tugging on my nipples. He reversed his chair and tugged the chain as he removed each nipple clip. It stung as the blood filled each nipple, my knees almost buckled each time, the gag muffling the g. He then connected my wrists cuffs in front of me, and bent me over the back of his chair so my weight rested on my elbows. ‘Part your legs’ he said, I complied and hoped he would decide to have me, not cane me. I was to be disappointed, though recently spanked I accepted I had earned this too. He fetched a cane from his bag as I waited anxiously. Holding the back of my collar he rested the cane against my bottom, drew it back and struck me. ‘One‘ he said. All I did was hear the sound then the harsh sting reached my brain! He was using the flat cane.  A piece of flexible wood two feet long, an inch wide and a quarter of an inch thick. It didn’t leave tram lines or scars; I knew its stinging would last for ages and leave a square red mark on each buttock, but it would not bruise very much. Not that it seemed important at that moment. Though I find the cane painful, the thonged whip he occasionally uses is worse. Its thick strands inflict weal’s and their tips can get into the most intimate parts of my body. I’ve also known him use it on my breasts and belly. Each cane stroke went slightly lower until the last 3 all struck where the tops of my thighs and my bottom met. My legs kicked out from the stinging, by now I had dribbled spittle around the gag, my eyes were streaming and my nose had started to run. He let go the back of my collar and returned the cane to his bag. Returning he pulled me upright by my collar and turned me to face him. I refused to look him in the eye; I must have looked a real mess. He took my chin again forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt so ashamed of my appearance. He had told me I was beautiful so very often and it made me feel so proud when he said it. Now I had let him down by being too complacent. He unclipped the wrist cuffs, reattaching then in front. He said ‘Do you understand what I have told you?’ I nodded. ‘Then get down on your belly on the floor and spread your legs, I haven’t finished with you yet.’ My mind raced, would it be the whip now, on my bottom? I knelt and lay on the floor, my bottom was really stinging and the carpet was rough against my sore nipples, my belly and mons. I spread my thighs wide, dipped my spine and waited. I heard the pop of a tube of lubricant being opened. It wasn’t the whip!! The lube felt cold against my anus as he applied just enough. He undressed, I could feel him looking at my prone body, the line of my sex and the rose of my anus. I was fully exposed because it was how he wanted me to be. He knelt between my thighs and pumped his cock to make the head larger. He spread my bottom cheeks with one hand and pressed his cock against my anus with the other. The tip entered me, it was so uncomfortable. I had forgotten how tight a caning made the cheeks of my bottom clench. He pushed into me, stretching me. I struggled and tried to object; he held me and reminded me of the presence of the whip. Once he was past the muscular ring I relaxed as the discomfort subsided somewhat; I felt the cool of his skin against my hot bottom. He reached and took hold of my hair and collar, pulling them back. At the first slow thrust he said ‘one’. The thrusts were slow and firm, they made my bottom sting though my anus soon adapted to the presence of his cock. He told me to squeeze my buttocks together as he withdrew his cock, and relax as he thrust in. I tried to do so; each time I failed he added two extra thrusts. He was punishing me and reminding me of his dominance by not taking pleasure from the stimulation my anus could give him. It was a reminder that sexual pleasure could not be an excuse for a lack of submission. It was a relief when he reached 100 and stopped counting and thrusting. I was glad he was no longer forcing my nipples against the rough carpet, and his tummy was no longer making my sore bottom sting more. But I immediately missed the closeness and intimacy of the man I so wanted yet had disappointed. He pulled me to my feet by my collar, removed the ball gag and lifted my chin. I must have looked a real mess as I worked my jaw to stop it aching, I certainly felt a mess and I promised him and myself not to let my appearance or behaviour slip again. He kissed me and said he loved me; I’m not sure if it made me feel any better- or if it was supposed to! He led me by the arm into the bathroom and told me to wash his cock and balls. I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous! Mascara running, the marks of the gag around my mouth, spittle around my chin and collar and my nose running! I looked away ashamed as he wet a towel to clean the lube from between my buttocks. He turned me around so my back was to the mirror and rubbed the wet towel firmly between my buttocks, it stung where it touched the red marks.  I heard him say, ‘You have 30 minutes until dinner. Be ready on time.’ I knew that I would make him the proudest man alive when he let me take his arm to dinner. 30 minutes wasn’t long. But I so wanted to see that look of desire in his eyes that I would ensure I was just as he wanted me to be. I knew just how good he would make me feel in return. He went to the veranda to watch the sun set. I set to work, though I did sneak a look at the red marks on my bottom. They made me feel strangely proud because they were his marks and I had submitted to him. He had put them there and there was nothing I could have done about it even if I wanted to. Now I didn’t know what he was going to do with me later, but after being disciplined he always had something special planned for me! 

Frequently Asked Questions: Q: How is your search going? A: Are you fucking kidding me with this question!? If my search to become a slave was going well I wouldn't fucking be here would I?  My search sucks because of assholes who send me emails that say, you look like you'd be a good fuck, how's your search going?  I hate my search.  I hate being allowed to use a computer and have a profile here.  I hate that I'm allowed on the internet.  I hate having rights.  That's how my search is going you fucking idiot.   Q: Are you on hormones? A: Well are you on viagra or Cialis?  How's your blood pressure?  Do you still get full erections?  If you think this is an appropriate question to ask someone in a first email then you are not intelligent enough to own me.  I'm so sorry that you're too dumb to own me.  It could have been really special but I'm a real cunt who doesn't answer medical questions to perfect strangers who think THAT is a good way to break the ice.   Q:  How's it going? A: It's going fine.  I am blown away by what an amazing first email this is and I want to be yours now.  You are clearly the one.  You asked me how it's going.  No one has ever thought to start an email like that before.  You are so unique and charming I can help but want to suck every drop of cum out of your cock that I can.   Q: Your profile says you're 18 but you've been here for years. A: Wow. You're super smart.  No fooling you.  No Sir.  I tried to pull a fast one but you were all over it and now I'm busted.  You got me.  It has nothing to do with the fact that this site doesn't update age on it's own and updating it myself means my profile might be down for weeks while they approve it if ever.  Here's an idea though.  Since you're so clever why don't you add the number of years I've been here to the age listed on my profile and conclude that's how I old I am now.     Q: Wanna be my slave? A: No.    Q: Do you really think you're going to find a Master with an attitude like that? A: Yes.  He just won't be you.  Unfortunately, you are a moron.   Q: You're very beautiful. A: That's not a question but it is something every asshole on this site says to me so you saying it to me makes you exactly as special to me as it makes every other dude.   Q: You're so funny.  I can't believe these guys ask you all these dumb questions.  They are all idiots.  I loved the sassy way you dealt with them in your FAQs.  It's too bad there are so many fake doms on this site.   A: Shut up.  This is almost as lame as the You're very beautiful or Are you on hormones emails. I get it.  You read the FAQs.  You must be better than the rest.  Oh please Master, let me lick Your asshole clean now.  You are amazing.    

I've been thinking a lot lately about the American Dream. Growing up, I wanted what I assume most middle class people wanted. It never occured to me that there was something else to want. You get married. You buy a nice house with a garage and a dog, have a few kids, keep your yard neat, and work 9 to 5 basically forever.  It's not what I want these days. I love my house, but I don't need it like I used to. All of the things are suddenly just things. Well yes, okay, I have intense feelings for some of my clothes. Mostly though, I think I could take my dog and drive away. Shouldn't I want this more? Want more more?  I'm at a crossroads in my career, in that I don't want to be doing this anymore, but I don't know what it is I want to be doing. I am not independently wealthy and I never did nab that husband, so a job it is. I would like to work remotely so I can hang out with my dog, or work somewhere she is welcome. I'm not sure what's out there and what will pay the bills. Part of me wants to sell everything and move somewhere to lead a less compicated life. I'm not sure I'm at the point where that would be enough. Then again, I weeded and put down mulch the other day. Who is this person? 

I guess the thing to do is Post the resupts to this, so here it is.  Can't say I believe it is really accurate becuse there were many statments that had more than one statemement within them, and I agrees 100% with only half the statement... The quandry of my brain lol.  I mean, if anyone who is following my journals, read the entry right before this one, you know I am 100% NOT 66% Masochist lol == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Submissive  97% Brat  66% Masochist  64% Rope bunny  57% Vanilla  52% Degradee  47% Experimentalist  45% Primal (Prey)  33% Exhibitionist  31% Slave  12% Pet  0% Daddy/Mommy  0% Rigger  0% Voyeur  0% Switch  0% Sadist  0% Ageplayer  0% Owner  0% Non-monogamist  0% Master/Mistress  0% Boy/Girl  0% Dominant  0% Degrader  0% Brat tamer    0% Primal (Hunter)   

Update! 3/2022 *** I don't bother to respond to "Hi" "How are you" and similar one liners. I get too many to bother. I'm currently open to and - if not actively - perhaps somewhat lazily (as in waiting for one to fall into My lap) seeking a great second male submissive. I'm open to the RIGHT person and situation. I don't check this site frequently though as I'm busy and it's frankly easier for me to wait for mail to accumulate. I have previously been in and enjoy an mFm hinge type triad and I've had 2 live-in submissives in a relationship. One moved / things happened, what can you do? I like to let relationships develop naturally into whatever they are meant to be, so I'm not saying I'm looking for live-in just that it once worked out well and was a dynamic that suited Me / us. Now, WAIT WAIT WAIT - Don't start writing yet.  In the interest of full disclosure - I already have a collared boy. (Who is NOT bisexual so, there will be no forced bi in my household). He's just not going anywhere. SO! You must be poly or open to exploring poly. I am not the jealous type and I expect that to be true of you as well. If that's not going to work for you and you're looking for long term monogamy - I am NOT the Lady for you. YOU MUST BE: LOCAL or WILLING TO RELOCATE. Sometimes it can work if you're able to travel frequently, and air travel obviously shrinks distances, so this isn't a 'hard limit' ;) ATTRACTIVE & FIT (as in, no stranger to the gym, you know what olympic lifting is, and maybe you even like the occasional crossfit workout. You appreciate words like 'vascularity' and 'striations' and you know how to make a mean protein shake. Brainy AND Brawny - we can figure out the fetish connection and likes/dislikes IF we actually connect on any other level. I don't JUST want to beat the snot out of you, I want to like you, find you intriguing, engaging and attractive...and THEN beat the snot out of you. Just kidding...mostly.  POLY or OPEN to the IDEA of being poly.  You are a stable, rational adult who just happens to crave more than a vanilla relationship can give you...but you are capable of managing your own life and pursuits...and at the end of the day, you would love to lay all that control at the right Woman's feet.  You HAVE A PICTURE. Let's be honest, this will never work without attraction, so...  Just a HINT - you will do WAY better with Me if you put a little bit of effort into your reply, 'I'm interested' or similar one liners don't exactly endear you to Me. Asking if I'm interested in X when I've clearly stated in My profile that I am (or am not) - grrr. If you're far away you'd better be telling me about your family who lives nearby, plans and ability to visit, or remote work capability - otherwise WHY are you writing from WAY OVER THERE? Tell Me what you're ultimately looking for or have failed to find and what you think you can offer in a relationship to a Woman (that is NOT code for money, you cynic) - what do you see your ideal situation and future looking like - what would make you so content - so happy? What future seems out of reach now but would be just what you would be afraid to hope for if you could have it? Have you ever connected with a Dominant Woman via Kink AND outside that arena?

I am so disappointed.  Again. Where are the REAL submissives, that will take a Mistress a priority, instead of when Im done work, project. If you know you can't commit to a Mistress a lot, then say so up front or don't bother wasting her time with lies. I want an obedient, submissive male that will obey and serve My pleasures.  I enjoy keeping my slave in bondage, and expect it to know its place even in vanilla. A sub/slave knows its true purpose is to serve, but if you are in a relationship, working full time, or just a computer slave, then say so or leave Me alone.   The lies, the bullshit, the waist of time is so frustrating. Ive given up twice, but come back again hoping to find a real slave searching for a life time Mistress.  I know red flags, but some of you are good liars or just too cowardly to meet.  Now im extra careful. why bother at all.............

Greetings, I am a Dominant with over 22 years of experience.  I am also highly skilled with a very creative mind (wink).  I am single, no children, was married previously for 20 yrs.  Am now a semi-retired attorney, meaning that I work from home providing litigation support to other attorneys, so usually a lot of free time to play.  I am currently in Vegas, though I have only a couple of friends and no family here, so not much keeping me in this area.  I am free to relocate anywhere, but preferences would be FL as I resided there previously and have family there or TX.  I have a varied style of play, from the soft and sensual to the more intense and challenging.  I am not abusive nor am I a sadist, though I can be teasingly sadistic (smirk).  I am seeking a woman with a desire to please and either close to me, or seeking a long term relationship together.  Someone spiritual is a better fit for me, as I am as well.  Should there be an interest in knowing more about one another, then feel free to contact me, as I only reserve protocol for play time, and even then, in a limited manner.  

Personal information about me  single male, never married no children full head of hair have all my teeth none tobacco light social drinker self-employed flawed, work to be better kind, honest, trustworthy genuine and seek it too relocatable within USA  Important Lifestyle Relationship must knows i believe in Safe Sane and Consensual. i believe in being of value, not a doormat. turned on by women who are dominant and aggressive inside of relationship. it's hard to turn down a beautiful set of feet and ten toes. kneeling at feet of Goddess, feels so good. attracted to women who have kindness and stern when need be. turned off by women who are just right down mean in life. high priority for worshipping women as a my Goddess, showing and giving her respect. yes i will cook, clean and wash the window. Always leave the toilet seat down, never up. mutual attraction, both inside and out. i want to get to know you. being geniune, honest, trustworthy and good communication. good sense of humor, able to laugh at one's self and enjoy others. not looking to be paid or looking to pay anyone. 

My late wife whom I lost 10 years ago, loved bondage in many forms. On a trip to vegas I setup a situation to totally driver her mad..... We went out to a nice dinner very well dressed and a show. She attired as follows for it..... thigh boots well heeled, stocking with garters PVC Garter belt, a steel chastity belt no plugs, all under a leather mini skirt, tight strong pvc under bust corset well laced, pvc string bra, covered with a white satin blouse. She was my arm candy for the night. Needless to say she was whispering in my ear delicious thoughts, needs, desires, and beggings to be used. Being so bound and restricted via the chastity belt meant she was not able to effectively finger herself in the booth as we ate and had to endure the knowledge that I controlled her sex and its release. When we retired after some gambling and teasing by both of us, once in the room she seductively stripped her shirt and begged me to release her, i made her spread against window in the hotel room and released her chastity and held her firmly by the hair and ravished her to my pleasure..... that evening she stayed booted and corseted and skirted but bound at the feet and wrists... I took her 2x more that night and she crawled on me begging for cock and talking about how much she was made into a object of sexual pleasure.

COVID hit our community hard, and I have a few slave friends that lost their Masters.With no continuity plan in place, it is difficult for a slave. This, the House, helps address that. And it is a passion project for Myself. A way of giving back to a community that has altered My life for the better. On a personal egoic level, of course it is nice to be the Master of the House. But, it also is structured to survive My own passing and continue to care for its members. It is pan sexual in nature and can be grouped in different houses, gay, lesbian, trans, etc. as well as professional, career, orientation. There are a lot of moving parts to this. .... That said, the question is does one wish to be part of something bigger than itself. And to be owned and serve.you will be required to contribute to the home by being able to support yourself. It is a self sustaining operation.As a Master, My responsibility is to provide structure and an opportunity for the slave to serve and to be owned. Its primary service is to the Master, then its brothers and sisters, and then the House as a whole.That is what this Master offers all who come.

LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR I have tried to make my profile very clear but seems men still do not get it. So Ill put it here so we do not waste each others time. I have had cancer, I am clear now.  You wont catch it from me. Due to treatment PIV is very painful and uncomfortable.  Oral on me is also very uncomfortable  So sex is not on the table which does not mean  there cant be sexual things for a sub but, sex is not the focus.  BDSM does not have to be all about sexual play. So if what you want is not a FLR or submissive but really want to have kinky play focusing on you getting to focus on sexual pleasure then please move along.  I am over hearing I would be perfect for you and how you would happily travel to spend time with me and then when you learn that you are not going to be screwing me  you vanish. 

It was a rough day for this new slave in training He was very willing and eager to please We started out with his oral servitude which happened to be very subpar I knew it would be because he had bragged about what an expert he was at using his tongue I had to get him to understand that a slave never brags about what he can do because that is not his place If I choose to acknowledge your talente in an area, I will issue that compliment and you may wear it as a badge of honor  The ultimate goal is for you to make me squirt and then drink and lick up every drop Are you going to be worthy pet for me??!!   

I am a Black woman, living in Amerikkka. As the result historical, societal, and universal pressures I've developed a power and strength that intrigues, inspires, and intimidates... some of you feel me before you see me. You know who you are ;-)   So what would I need with protection? Do I need protecting? Certainly a woman with my knowledge and experience can handle things herself, right?   Unequivocally, Black women need protection.    Protect Black women.    Malcolm X said it best, "Black women are the most disrespected, unprotected, and neglected in America". And I'll take it a step further, and say we might even be the most disrespected in the world. Why? Because anti-blackness and WS is one of Americas most prolific exports.    Yet, regardless of the prevailing narrative - Black women are beautiful. WE ARE AMAZING. We deserve respect, recognition, resources, regard, and above all SAFETY AND SECURITY.   And the latter is not possible without protection.   Protect Black women.   Yours Truly,   Thee Blaque Queen Goddess

Time to put out another...message in a bottle.  If you are going to contact me;  Be polite. Politeness costs your nothing. And it shows manners.  Be consistant. If you want to know all about me, and ask questions, then reply to my responses in a timely manner. If you don't have further interest, kitten is a big girl and you can just say so.  Be honest. I don't want to have to ask you 50 questions to finally get you to fill in the bigger picture of your wants and needs, OK? We can be flirty and fun and joke around, but we both should have an appreciation for and skill in using direct honesty. Be informed. Did you read my profile and my journals before contacting me? Fantastic! That's the best place to start!  I will, of course, be the same! I'm looking for someone wonderful and sexy just like you!  Thanks in advance!   

I just read this and feel I am not certain what this Master is saying, "[...] pain can be done on request or as punishment". My initial reaction is that a Master does nothing on request. A Master is willing to hear a request but just because a request is made and heard does not mean it will be fulfilled. Setting a precedent that if a slave makes a request it will happen, transfers power from the Master to the slave. The slave did not choose to be your slave to lead and be in control. Acting as my own devil’s advocate and grammar police, I suppose this Master said, "can" and not "will". Coming back to what I said above, that just because it can or may be done does not mean it will be. I understand that everyone wants something different and truly I wish the Master who spoke those words all the best. I suppose the reason I am choosing to say anything at all is because it provides a juxtaposition to my own expectations for comparison and contrast.   For me, a 24/7 TPE does not establish any promises other than: I will not risk my slave(s) life or limb deliberately or out of ignorance. Meaning, I would carefully consider my options and surround myself in knowledge to avoid it being hurt in such a way that it would lose its life or a limb. Nor would I act on impulse or emotion without forethought and I would in no way make a decision with deliberate malicious intent that would cause the aforementioned outcomes. If a Master allows his emotions to rule him when he is to be the definition of control, then that person still has growth before they should be controlling another, especially 24/7. I am given the right to do with my or slave as I please. Meaning, no, and safe words are not an option. Nor will crying or begging change my mind. This does not mean I would abuse a slave. What it does mean is that any slave who wishes to submit to me has come so far as to know me and trust me that they understand I will push their limits but so that it helps them grow into the slave I want, even ones they label as absolutely not because there is nothing off-limits as the word no does not exist in the slave vocabulary. The only right a slave has is the right to walk away before being collared. Once collared the slave is only let go if the slave is no longer useful. If a slave becomes severely injured so that the slave can no longer perform the tasks it has been doing faithfully, then I would first seek other ways for it to serve me faithfully, to accept its new roles, and to see it proud that it serves me still and was not simply discarded. A slave that I collar, I intend to keep unless I am unable to find a way for it to service me or the slave breaks one of several major rules (of which I will discuss another time).   I have seen slaves on here looking for a new Master because their Master found they were too old for them. I have no problem with a Master who has an age limitation on his slaves but I do have an issue with any Master who took on the responsibility of a slave and chooses to abandon it rather than assist it in finding it a new Master. As for me, so long as my slave(s) have purpose, I will keep them until the last breath in theirs or my body  

Okay, well another one just dropped out of the running lol  When he submitted himself to Me he claimed he retired in May and would be able to serve then.  I said, great, get in touch a month ahead of time.  lol  Well, we did speak once a week for an hour over the course of many weeks simply getting to know one another.   When asked how I wished to be served, I said, don't stress it, just serve Me as you served your previous Mistress of 17 years and I'll taylor you to My liking as we go.  Honestly, any man who has served a woman, knows what to do out of the gate.  The details WILL work out quite simply and speedily once under My control.  After all, do these guys honestly think I'm going to invest time into them with no return?  LOL  Ya'll are playing with Me LOL  I am NOT a fin domme in any sense of the word, however My time energy and aura are priceless and if there is going to be MY involvement their will be ROI now!  LOL So, I did My basic CSpace research which happens with any slave who happens to catch My interest - especially when they have issues and or otherwise raise suspect to Me.  Low and behold I found several other profiles across the US fitting the same descriptors!  When I questioned the self proclaimed slave, he had no idea what I was talking about (go figure lol) and yet the profiles were exact!  lol  Note to all the liars and losers - mix it up a bit or Meta Mama is going to find you out!  LOL Okay, so lady dominants, beware of the cali multi running round seeking a Mistress and due to retire in May.  He gets you interested, feels you out with all the regular promises one makes to very controlling women, then when it doesn't fit his fancy, another Mistress pops in his chat frame and tells you he has been a very naughty boy and is actually being controlled by another and so sorry but he is unavailable...but will let you know if he comes back on the market!   ROFL  Some of you guyz are a riot AND turds! ANY FEMALE DOMINANT WHO WISHES TO CONTACT ME PRIVATELY - I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DISCUSS ANY and ALL TURDS.  I shall not give personal information on the subject obtained, however I will be sharing My experience with said slaves and sharing how to spot them.  REMEMBER:  Text search is your friend.  ******************************************************************** Meanwhile, here on planet earth I continue to hear from and share with some terrific sincere and caring men.  I can only hope that we continue to come to know one another and to share more in the future.  Thank you for being the bright lights you are.  Keep up the good work and keep making those fantasists stand out like the sore thumb they are!  Kissesssss

Finding the Dominant you want.  There are a lot of submissives looking for a Dominant. Your initial interaction can make or break if you move forward.  Figure out what you are looking for. Then, look for someone who fits that vision.  A loving relationship? A scene occasionally?  Do you want someone who does precisely what you want?   Are you basing your need off porn and fantasy? Think about this one. Don't look for perfect because you might pass up someone who can grow to be your "perfect" person in all the right ways. Don't be blind to imperfections; you might miss out.  Get to know the real person you are talking to.  Don't hold the person to your porn fantasy?  No one will meet the fantasy built up in a realistic relationship.  Great advice, I read this morning. "The best advice I can give any submissive man is do not look for a domme; look for a person."  Build the relationship after getting to know the person in a vanilla way. You might be surprised how much more fulfilling the relationship will be.  Be the amazing, intelligent person you are, and let yourself shine while getting to know her. 

On the twelfth day of Kinkmas my true sub got from me:Twelve spankers spankingEleven croppers croppingTen paddlers paddlingNine caners caningEight maids a milkingSeven floggers floggingSix whippers whippingFive Ben Wa ballsFour anal beadsThree stuffed holesTwo nipple clampsAnd a red butt over my knee.

 When I wrote my profile, I had no idea what this site was like, but now that I've been here for a little while, I have a few things to add:I'm not interested in slaves, domestic servants or switches. This should go without saying, but I'm also not interested in men who aren't single. Long distance relationships don't work. If you don't currently live in (or near enough to conveniently drive to) the state of Florida, we will not be a match.My inbox has been flooded with messages from nameless, faceless guys who want to chat, but I'm not on this site looking for anonymous penpals. I'm sorry.I'm not interested in talking to submissives without photos. You've seen my face. If you feel uncomfortable showing me yours, that's totally fine, but if you're just words on a screen, I'm not going to be able to take you seriously. I am monogamous, and I have absolutely no interest in cuckolding. If that sort of thing interests you, you are not a candidate for the kind of relationship I'm looking for, so please don't waste my time or yours.  

I wrote this "Story"   My First Pain Pig I'm a Service Dom. My Dungeon is my playroom, to create pleasurable sensations. I was mid 20's, living the bachelor dream, whoring in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I landed an ok job with Hilton Hotels after graduation. The French Quarter bars stayed open 24/7. It was a place you partied every night. How I survived, 14 New Orleans Mardi Gras is beyond me, they were all real benders, lasting 3+ days. I lived 1/2 Block off Bourbon Street, it doesn't get better than that. It was at Beer Bust Sunday at The Parade Disco, it was 1982 or so. To drum up LOCAL business, The Parade Disco, had a "Tea Party" a beer bust all the beer you could drink from Sunday 5PM until the Kegs went dry. I'm having a "tea party" beer, and a girl walks up to me and asks why I'm dressed in black leather, am I into BDSm? I told her I'm a "leatherman" I like power-exchange, I like to lead, direct, command, suggest. She asked if I enjoyed spanking a girl, and I said yes, and I liked using my belt as well,. We danced, and drank a few beers, and kept chatting. So she grabs my hand and pulls me to the outside balcony, where folks, can actually hear each other talk since the music inside the bars is always loud.. She tells me her friend Freddie whose into BDSm has talked about me He says your known as a fun sadist. He told, me the rumor is, your a creative sadist.. I replied, something like. I'm a service top, I get off when we both get off. I do love mind fucking folks. Could you make me feel and endure pain? Not continuous relentless pain, but Intermittent shearing flashes of pain like strikes from a thin stick, the sting of the hand, or the thud of the belt? I asked, if she had done anything like this before? No, she just listened to all the hot stories her friend Freddie told her, of being a masochist. At some point, I said My safe word is FROG. Say the safe word and she repeated FROG. Good, I also use a safe gesture. I will squeeze your hand TIGHTLY and shake it, you squeeze my hand 2 times, in reply, This reply tells, me all is great, with you. If you fail to give back 2 quick squeezes I will end our playtime. The conversation went something like that, dam, when you get old, sometimes you just got to fill in details you forgot. I pointed from the Parade Disco's Balcony, Thats where I live across the street 800 feet away, the green shuttered walkup apartment.. She said, lets go to your place and play, make me feel real pain. Let me, tell a friend, I'm going to your apartment and I will call them to get picked up later. We walked hand in hand to my apartment. I opened the door to a typical French Quarter "Shot-Gun" apartment, like a boston row house, 25 feet wide and 60 feet long. The living room in front, a half wall jetty between the living room and the small kitchen. A Hallway the first door, the bathroom on the left, the door at the end of the hall, my bedroom and playroom. I had just finished building my "Playroom" I nick named "The Erection Set". (see my profile for photos) I think, my super-power, as a dom is creativity. I think, I give a good mind-fuck. My first rule as a dom was tie them up, to experience the reality of giving up control. Any act of bondage, is a reality of submission, physically felt and experienced. I had a pro-domme "friend" that I would occasionally drink with, at Jewel's Tavern, a Gay Leather Bar. Dex ,loved telling stories of here recent clients. I learned a lot from Mistress Dex! Maybe the most important thing she ever said, Hugo people don't come to Pro-Domme, looking for sex. If submissive's wanted sex they would go to a call girl. Submissives come to a domme to live out a fantasy. The key to a good scene is, living out a fantasy inside a submissives head. That BDSm lesson about Fantasies, was the best lesson I was ever given. The second best lesson Dex shared: Start a BDSm scene extra slow and build up a scene slowly to a climax. I had an established routine, in dom mode, have submissives undress, tie them to the st andrew cross or some other object, like in a chair. Next, introduce sensation play, running my hands everywhere on my tied up subs body. I would take sensation play to the next level, by adding a blindfold, not knowing where I might touch, pinch, pull next. Clothes Pins, are my absolute favorite toy. I have done scenes, with 100s of clothes pins, pinching everywhere on a submissives body. Ear Lobes, Lips, nipples, breasts, inner thighs, nose, the clit, cunt lips, any flap of skin. Clothes Pins are a great beginner activity. Clothes Pins are a great assessment tool as to how much pain a submissive can tolerate, as clothes pins build up pain slowly. I like starting, clothes pin play, with the breasts, many women have sensitive breasts and nipples, plus they can see the clothes pins, the object of pain tormenting them. This is about the time, I light up a cigar. Domination and smoking a cigar seem to go hand in hand for me. I do enjoy, Hot Ash Play. I know, I had 300 clothes pins on her body and she was feeling it but, not moaning or whimpering She wasn't even close to her limits. I like to flick off clothespins, using a cop or ruler or something similar object. I usually progress to Wax play because wax play looks painful, but isn't. Wax play is truly, a great erotic sensation play activity. Its about this point I asked, her to repeat what she came here to experience. I want pain sir. My massage table,doubled as my bondage table, I tied my sub face down, like in a position for a back massage. I would use, rope, saran wrap, tape, straps, to secure a submissive to the massage table. Hand Spankings, are probably the lightest form of corporal punishment. Then, the ruler, belt, fly swatter, rod, hair brush, next in intensity over a hand spanking, next would be the wooden spoon and paddle in pain or intensity, and in my opinion the cane is the most feared implement, used on the ass. . I got to a frat paddle. I think, my sub liked the belt the best, as she seemed to thrash about a bit. She stayed silent as she took the paddle usually a sign that there isn't a lot of eroticism going on. I want a sub moaning, mumbling, swearing, shaking, that tells me they are having a good time. I remember, it was this moment. I did the "CHECK-IN" hand squeeze. I got 2 quick firm hand squeezes back telling me she with me, "all ok". I asked her what she wanted now. What she wanted, was to be used like a hole. To FILL AND OVER FLOW her senses. To feel totally fucked and exhausted. I knew what she needed, she needed to be fisted, to have her cunt stretched out, rubbed raw. In the French Quarter leather community, I was known, as the Dom that enjoyed fisting and handballing. Back in the 1980's vaseline was the fisting lube of choice, crisco if you were handballing. Now, the cool part, when this happened is my playroom was already semi-functional, I had a sling. (see profile photos to see a sling) If your into fisting or handballing you know someone's intensely into fisting, they own a sling. Using a sling, your in a OB/GYN examination table. position, perfect access.