Old profile removed July 6, 2025 All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked. Yes, I know Collarspace's filters remove some punctuation. That's not what I am talking about. Three sentences, not one long run-on sentence.   I am a switch. I have not bottomed or submitted since 2016, but if you cannot handle your dominant or top taking the bottom side I am not the one for you. I am NOT looking for a dominant or top, hence identifying my profile as a domme. I do not reply to dominants or tops looking to dominate or top me.   I am polyamorous. I live with my wife Raine. She is aware of this profile and what I am looking for. She and I are play partners working back toward a power exchange that ended during the worst of the isolation because of COVID.   I am not looking for an Ms relationship or an Op relationship. If you self identify as a slave we are not compatible. I am not a female supremacist and I do not practice TPE.   If you are younger than 25 please do not apply.   What I AM looking for are local play partners, lovers, and or submissives. Local means in or around San Antonio. I am not looking for someone to relocate, move in with me, or play with me while they are visiting San Antonio.   My ideal submissive is service oriented and open to a variety of play styles and techniques, and open to trying new things. My ideal play partner has interest in multiple kinds of play and enjoys intense play and receiving pain.   Giving cunnilingus is a soft limit. Receiving cunnilingus is not high on my priorities list, although it can be lovely. I LOVE dildo play and fisting. I have reservations about strap-on harnesses.   If you are not in the San Antonio, TX area regularly, don't contact me as a potential submissive or play partner. I don't "play" online and I have no interest in choreographing elaborate scenes for you to act out on webcam to fulfill your fetishes. I am living my flesh life and I don't have time for an online life. Friendship and conversation are welcome, but no leading questions trying to get me to provide fap fodder.   My dance card is sometimes (over)full but that's the way I like it. There IS room in my life for a full time submissive should I come across one who is compatible with me.   The remainder of my profile remains intact from before:   I find minds sexy more often than I find bodies sexy, though I can certainly appreciate a sexy body! I love intelligence and learning, enjoy teaching what I know and learning from others, be they friend, lover, submissive, Dominant, switch, or myriad role identities.   I'm open to finding kinky friends who can hang out at home with or without play, play partners who share my interests, lovers, or submissives. Or all of the above. A poly pansexual service oriented submissive who likes edgy as well as everyday play, can take intense pain and get satisfaction from it, and wants to serve a BBW Domme would be great. ~Santa, here's my list, no, I'm not holding my breath.~   Micro e-mails are a pet peeve of mine. Write an e-mail with at least three sentences. But don't send me a novella either - it takes getting to know someone before I'm motivated to read something overly long. One or two paragraphs is great. You could tell me what you liked about my profile, why you are writing (friendship, submission, playing, learning?), tell me a little bit about yourself.   I'm looking for a submissive that gets fulfillment from both service and play. I'd like to find one whose mind and body both attract me. I want to find a submissive and/or play partner who loves to explore, who loves lots of kinds of play, who finds intensity and connection sexy and hot and gets a lot from the connection in a scene not just what type of play is being done. I want to find someone who is up for light spanking and tickle play one day, and a wicked caning another, who can handle flames licking across their skin and delight in it just as much as a tongue's caress. I want someone who can play light and silly as well as deep and intense, who can enjoy something as mundane as a spanking while still being open to trying hot, sexy, edgy, rough shit.   But it's not all about play. I want a submissive who gets along well with me, who is a delightful conversational partner, who is intelligent and sometimes witty. I would love to find a submissive who helps me with my flaws and supports me in my own goals as much as they work to improve themselves and make me proud they are mine, to be in my service. I want a submissive who is willing to help out, whether it is helping me fold laundry and dry dishes or brainstorming a website design. Gimme gimme! A submissive who loves to learn! A submissive who loves to serve! A submissive who loves to play! A submissive who loves letting go of control! A submissive who is self aware, practices self honesty, and communicates clearly! I'm not interested in someone whose ONLY interaction with me is for BDSM, or for play, or for sex. I want to find someone who can become a part of my life, who feels comfortable joining me for vanilla hangout time, sexy snuggle time, as well as kinky dress up and play time.   But that doesn't fully describe it either. I want to find someone who feels that submission is about more than doing chores or taking a good beating. Where is that mind hiding that WANTS to be told to do something disagreeable, because submitting is sometimes about doing what you DON'T like. A submissive who knows saying "I don't like that" is a way of giving me more control. That it doesn't mean I won't do it any more, it just means when I do it I will do it DELIBERATELY!! Are you out there, craving someone who isn't afraid to deny the things you like just to watch you squirm and make you beg for them? Where is the submissive who loves high protocol as well as casual time? Where is the submissive who can make offering to take my plate into the kitchen touch my heart? Where is the submissive who isn't ashamed to kiss my feet in front of friends, who wants to be the best they can be so that I can be proud to own them? Are you out there, unready to give everything to a stranger, but wanting to let go and give up control, incrementally, as trust develops?   Read my journal entries to learn a bit about me. This is long already, so I won't start trying to describe who I am, but if you'd like to know, ask and I'll probably answer.

In Januaury of last year I started a path I never saw myself doing... I hired a trainer and started working out 4 days a week... I feel like there should have been a betting pool, or something, because I NEVER expected to be on that same path a year and four months later...but here I am, healthier, at least 40 pounds lighter, and feeling so much better, physically, mentally, emotionally and about myself. I constatnly amaze myself with things, like how four years ago my doctors said I'd never lift more than 10 pounds... last Wednesday, I did dead lifts at 205 pounds for 5 reps... or how they said I would never be able to handle running again, I started jogging on the treadmill (supervised of course) and have a total of 5 minuets over 2 days, not bad for something I haven't done in over 20 years, and for someone with "heart failure"... In the last 20 years of my life, I've gone from an active live to inactive, a 30 waist to a 46, now back down to a 38, inching (get it?) closer to 36 actually... and all I can thinks is "Wow! I really like doing this!" You see, when I was a kid, it was the "jocks" the weightlifters, the football ogres, I mean players, that bullied harrased and made me feel insecure about being gay, if only they tried that today... anyhow, I never figured that this training I do now would be enjoyable because of that. Actually it's more than enjoyable. I get out of bed in the mornings with energy, ready to conqure my day and all that it throws at me! All because one day, I decided I wasn't gonna let heart failure win. Because I decided to be a healtheir, better me. And because I literally dared myself to do it! Who knows, maybe in a few weeks I'll give a progress update...

I find all these profiles wanting subs for training interesting.  Do Dom’s get on here thinking all women are new to the lifestyle when they join a site like this?  They go from a totally vanilla world and think, hey, I am going to do something crazy today, despite never having had a fantasy or desire, or want, I am a blank slate and door mat, I am going to join this site and seek someone to train me to fulfill all of their desires since I have absolutely none of my own… Because let me tell you, that is totally what I was thinking the first time I joined this site, totally…  Facepalm.  Do you really think you can train someone to just service your desires?  Are people really that narcissistic?  All humans have desires and I don’t care if a relationship is D/s M/s or whatever, there are still two people in it and they are both wanting something from it… There is no training, there is learning about each other, and growing together, or ending bitterly… 

Ms. Cosmic, tell us how you really feel about the most recent election results... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8VZX4sHn-4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35rHHEiNaIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-3BI9AspYc https://www.google.com/search?q=war+pigs+women&oq=war+pigs+women&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIICAEQABgWGB4yCAgCEAAYFhgeMggIAxAAGBYYHjINCAQQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAUQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAYQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAcQABiGAxiABBiKBTIKCAgQABiABBiiBDIKCAkQABiABBiiBNIBCDU3ODhqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dddeac4f,vid:Vj4SJolBPt0,st:0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3SZu_KhWig https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO1QyidBUPg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EWqTym2cQU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbNekA18FgM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgwQG3MYp3o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1kEjj3Ej68 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gv_K7G13sXo lol

Does anyone else crave a connection that is so deep and powerful that it feels like a life line that can't exist without it that connection?  It is something that i crave in the very cell of my being. I am looking to feel it is as though it makes my heart beat or helps air fill my lungs. Online that can be very hard to do as we are not phyisically around each other to get that feeling. Online it is though connection in words or hearing each other voices. I need to find my future Partners that need connections as much as I do. That want and need to be together as much as possible.  I know that  we all have lives and that the world around us can keep us busy. When I am getting to know someone and willing to see where it goes, maybe i am unrealistic but i try to be on this site or other places where we have made a connection to communicate and wait around and respond as quickly as i recieve it or can respond because it is like a lifeline to me to help my heart beat or my lungs take breaths to stay alive. I get frustrated and i have lashed out in my frustration when other's don't do the same things i guess because i feel actions are stronger than words. In me responding quickly is showing that i am taking it seriously and wishing to put in the work to see if this will work out. If not i try to at least wish them the best of luck in finding the one that will make them feel the way i need and crave the connection as well.  

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

Why is it that some people who put dom on their profile think they can  automatically send rude and disrespectful messages to a submissive person? Do they honestly think submissive type person equals to no brain?  I'm submissive not a doormat to every tom, dick and harry LOL. My Master has earned my Trust, Loyality and Respect!!! and has my total submission!!!  I treat others respectfully however, I do NOT submit to others unless of course my Master wishes it so. With that said IF anyone decides to message me please keep it polite.  I have no wish to see your photo's and neither do I want to be spoken down to. I'm somewhat intelligent and can hold a decent conversation.  I'm just a normal everyday type of person who just happens to naturally have a need to submit to my Master whom I am extremely happy to belong to!!! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

  hope, still Since nineteen I’ve wandered, with stars in my chest, Through years full of aching, through trials and tests. I’ve searched in the silence, in moments I’d cry, And whispered to shadows my tear-threaded why. I’ve given up hope, then lit it anew, Wrote love in the margins, believed it was true. The road has been winding, the nights have been long, But I’ve kept my soul tethered to one quiet song. Today I still listen, my heart open wide, For the one who will see me and stand by my side. Who’ll meet me with presence, and power, and grace, To hold all my parts in their rightful place.   So come now, Daddy, I’ve waited so long— Collar me gently, where I truly belong.

shy small subby alone single long time now seeking a dom daddy or any daddy to baby me his ways south west or suunny Bournemouth check me page on here pm me plzzzzzzzzzzzz Daddy little one in waiting huggs melissakins xxxxxxxxxxxx

On Being Felled, Temporarily   I have been absent. Those of you who follow closely will have noticed the silence and drawn your own conclusions. The conclusion is this: my body staged one of its more dramatic rebellions in the form of a kidney infection serious enough to take me entirely off the board for the better part of two weeks. I do not get sick quietly or briefly, apparently. When I go down I go down with the full commitment I bring to everything, which I would find more admirable if it were not so thoroughly inconvenient. I am on the other side of it now, or near enough to be upright and writing, which I am choosing to count as a victory. While I was ill, someone broke into my home. I want to let that sit for a moment because I am still sitting with it myself. I was sick, my children were unsettled, and someone decided that was an acceptable time to violate the space where my family lives and take what did not belong to them. They took the children's gaming system, which in the grand accounting of what could have been lost is not the worst possible outcome, and I know this, and I have said this to myself many times. It does not make my children's faces easier to look at. The specific devastation of a preteen who has had something taken, not misplaced, not broken accidentally, but deliberately stolen from their home, from the place that is supposed to be safe, is its own particular kind of heartbreak to witness as a mother. They were crushed. I was furious on their behalf in the way that only a mother's fury operates, which is to say completely and with no available outlet. I handled it alone. As I handle everything. And this is where I find myself needing to say something I do not say easily, which is that my resilience, that quality I have always counted on, felt genuinely shaken this past week. Not broken. I want to be precise about that because I will not be imprecise about myself even when honesty is uncomfortable. Not broken. But shaken in the way that a foundation shakes when too many things hit it simultaneously, the illness and the violation and the children's hurt and the daily weight of a life I carry without assistance, all of it arriving at once while my body was already at its limit. I had hoped, by now, to be in a different chapter. I had hoped, genuinely and specifically, to be in conversations about sharing a home with someone actually prepared to show up for this life. Someone whose service was not theoretical, not a future intention, not a beautiful idea that dissolves on contact with the reality of what showing up actually requires. Someone who would have been here during a kidney infection that left me barely functional. Someone whose presence would have meant my children came home from school to a stable and managed household rather than to a mother running on empty and a space that had been violated. That person does not currently exist in my life, and the disappointment of that is not small. It is not something I can dress up into acceptance without first acknowledging that it is a genuine and specific grief. I built a vision. I know what I deserve. I know what this dynamic looks like when it is real and functional and inhabited by someone with actual capability and actual commitment. The gap between that knowledge and my current reality is something I feel most acutely on the weeks that ask the most of me. I am resilient. I will return to myself completely, as I always do. But this week the crown was heavy. I wanted to tell you that honestly, because this space has always been about the full truth of this life, not only its beauty.   More soon. I am still here. I am still unserved. I am still waiting and wanting. 

It has been brought to my attention that Desire, my previous journal entry, was cut off midway through. So below I will post the rest of it. Desire part 2  What COULD he do? Bound as he was, I had not ever tested if he could crawl. I climbed down from the bed and tiptoed out of the room and walked back in as if I was returning from elsewhere. He jerked in the direction of my sounds, bells tinkling on my anklet, I noisily gathered a chain leash and walked to his helpless body and attached it to the ring on the collar of his special hood. "Come, puppy." I called in my sing song voice, the very one I use for my cats. "Come on, my handsome boy." He made a muffled noise and tried to orient his body to follow. Trying to rise up on his elbows and knees. I knelt down and gently petted his right cheek and could see him inhale and exhale sharply. "Good boy, that's right, come to me, follow, boy. Goood boy, my handsome boy" He tried to orient his body yet again and one of my cats wandered up and meowed, they, too, were used to such talk from me. As he struggled to get to his knees and elbows I tugged the leash impatiently as if irritated and said, "hurry the fuck up". I dragged him some by his neck and funnily enough he got into the position to hobble behind me. I smiled at that, his determination to please me. It was intoxicating. I led him, blind, behind me through the house to the third bedroom, which was my "office". It was under lock and key, in fact, the key for the office happened to also work on the lock of his cage, I had the lock on the door altered to match the key so he could not enter without permission. He knew that in that room he wasn't to speak. There he was a dog. My dog. My faithful puppy. We entered and I gave different commands. Sit, and he got into a kneeling position. Stay. And he would remain. Heel and he'd crawl to me and heel. Obedience. Blind obedience. I sat in my chair opened  the drawer on my desk as he knelt beside my right leg. Opened a book I kept in there and turned to the most recent page. I read through and opened my mouth and said firmly. "Yesterday, my property degraded himself and so degraded me. 25 swats with the cane. Get into position to receive" he groaned but complied as best he could while hobbled. "Remember, we do not move away from the pain, perfect love has perfect trust, be ready to receive. This is your penance. Count each stroke of the cane and be grateful to suffer and try to remember that to harm yourself is to harm Me, to love yourself is to love Me" He barked an affirmative, as the rule of the room was no speaking. The first strike he was still, taking the sting of the thin willowy cane. *bark* By the fifth his behind was quite red with deep lines. His barks were breathy and he swayed. *bark* counted out the tenth stroke. There trickled a pink clear fluid from one of the pretty lines. *bark* his voice was weary even through the hood and he had sweat in beads on his back. This was stroke 20. He trembled visibly and rocked on his knees. I thought I heard a sniffle. I raised the cane and swung but didn't strike him. He tensed and moved forward but not away. His breathing was quick yet shallow. I imagined tears and sweat and saliva in his hood. I raked my nails across his warmed ass, this was primal for me. This reminded me that he wasn't the only beast in the room. I wondered if I were sick, his perfect sadist, was I a monster to be so aroused by the brutality. I leaned down and said to him, lovingly, "there are five more, my love, are you strong enough to endure for me?" He nodded his head quickly and let out a low "bruf" bark. I stepped back, raised my arm and struck him quickly, five times, as hard as I could. I felt the cane cracking and at the last swat it snapped and a piece of the cane flew up and hit me. Startling me I yelped and he tried to get up and attend to me, forgetting his place and forgetting his binding and forgetting to bark five times. I should have written it down that the penance was not complete but was moved by his desire to care for me even when he was broken. "I'm fine. Remember your place" I called out. He stayed quiet for a minute and then nodded and barked five times to complete his punishment. Could I have been more in love with a man? I doubt it. I got down on my knees beside him and caressed his leather bound head and clucked over him. I cleaned his wounds and kissed his face over and over. I stood up and returned my book to my desk and gave another command. "Pleasure" He flopped onto his side and rolled onto his back with his legs opened. The true purpose of how he was bound is that being in a frog tie made it more difficult for him to fuck me. I decided I wouldn't yet unlock him so I sat on him in his cold metal cage with my hot pussy. Enjoying the feeling of him cooling my skin. Knowing that my weight on him was applying pressure to the wounds on his ass. He immediately tried to buck but I placed my right hand on his chest and my left on his neck and pressed down. He grunted and tried again to buck. Jerking his head upward in frustration, precum leaking out of his cage and smearing on his pubic hair and my lips. I began to grind on him, pressing hard on his neck while feeling his heart beat under my palm. Knowing that I was using my weight on his neck. He'd slow down and I'd release him and feel his heart race. The metal cage now warmed and wet from both of us. The blood and air rushing to his brain and lungs. "Would you like to cum, do you want me to unlock you?" I cooed and moaned and he sighed and nodded and gave a short "ruff". I slapped him and laughed. Then I moaned, "No, you haven't earned it" and ground against him in slow circles, feeling his balls draw up tight to his body. I scooted forward and leaned back to fiddle with his cage as I bounced on his chest, listening to the air whoosh out of his lungs. The sparse hairs tickled my clit and I felt I'd explode at any moment. I turned my torso and unlocked him. Now erect and free. "Are you allowed to cum without permission?" I asked breathily?" "Uhn" he grunted shaking his head and bucking his hips. </spa

All in the Name There are still many people on this planet who don’t know the acronym BDSM and what it stands for. Here’s one example of this: “A company is hiring someone for a Business Development, Sales and Marketing positionufpu

Different ways of being hot cis females:  Fall in love with Me, become a quiet little Goddess addict speaking only when spoken to. cis males: Recognizes the chasm between Uus is unnavigable.  Never speaks or writes or whines or begs.  Just remains far away,in devotion and worship, until soul is consumed and gone, and is utterly empty inside. cd: Shares their inner slut with Me sissy: Shares her fears with Me FTM: grabs sword, defends Me and My soaves, doesn't expect reward but is constantly surprised by them MTF: orbits Me, symbiosis, beauty, allows Me to fill her needs and wants and dreams Androgynous: Celebrates their individuality and teaches Me something new NB/GF: celebrates their mercurial nature woth Me, allows Me to feel the liquidity of their soul and shape it as I please Butch Lesbian/Drag Queen: stoves to be a mannequin for Me to dress and play, coming to life and sharing all of their queerness when I am done. Me:  Exists    

Chasing the Dragon All she has left of her drug is dominant lovers..her dominant protective side keeps her from submitting to them; she tends to walk through life as a switch hiding her needy submissive side because the ones that she meets are disposable to her, and she tops them from the bottom gauging her danger in every encounter. They are always sexually excited, which causes a frenzy inside of them as they try to navigate her confusing waters. She looks for more than sex, but rough sex can help her feel a slice of submission until he goes too far or tries to be a Master, Dom, or Daddy (which can never happen on a first encounter) unless he shows physical restraint digging into what makes her who she is, winning her mind because sex is great but fleeting. She loves a physical touch, and her body moves to every touch, but there is a difference between someone playing a song and mastering an instrument. The one she looks for can pluck the string, keep the melody and be psychologically intense. Sometimes using her against herself to mentally catch her and explain sides of herself hidden only to be discovered in the ultimate goal to own her. It has to be more than a casual encounter; she will play, but she will remain guarded and in charge topping from the bottom chasing the Dragon until the dragon devours her......

Submission Without a Name   If someone asks me how, as a little, I can be so submissive… so devoted…I’ll tell them this: I’ve been devoted to my Daddy for 19 years—without a name, a face, or a single word of recognition.Through dangerous seasons, through heartbreak, through loneliness that cracked my chest open,I’ve held onto the quiet knowing that he exists. That he’s real. That he’s out there,becoming the man who can claim me. I’ve never stopped looking. I’ve never shut the door.Even when my heart was heavy. Even when the world told me to give up.My devotion didn’t begin when I met him—it began when I realized what I was born to give. That’s the depth I bring to this lifestyle. That’s the weight of my submission.Not play. Not a phase. Not a game.A spiritual path. A sacred promise. A longing that became a practice. So when he finally arrives, I’ll already be ready.Because I’ve been his for years—long before he ever knew I existed.

Seller accepted everything I wanted.. Down to the last details. In underwriting and waiting for a closing date. This limbo has been emotionally draining. I have clients who are sticking by me, wondering if they have one more appt. , or am I leaving. It seems it will be soon, just don't know when.   I have all sorts of emotions.  I'm feeling  so ambivalent  and anxious. I'm stepping so far out of my comfort zone.  I will know noone, will have to learn a whole new area. Grow a circle of new friends, find doctors, dentists, car maintenance, vet, etc etc. I will be setting a cottage for my dad, finding a caretaker for the weekends, and setting up braille lessons for him. There will be much to do, packing, loading moving, unloading unpacking, arranging. On top of this , I'll be going into growing season, which means I will have a lawn on top of landscaping and gardening !  What was I thinking? I'm not 30 😆 I'm  going to miss many of my clients,  they have become special to me.  My friends  too ! The comfort of familiarity and confidence in my knowledge of my area.  I'm a native to my part of the state. I will not miss the politics of the DC area. I've watched it become so contentious and intolerant. I'm so sick of the constant drum beat of pernicious propaganda.             

Let’s contemplate the issue of energy when it come to sex among equals. As a rule nature is perceived as male and female, positive and negative, dry and wet, light and dark, cold hot; you get the idea. However if we add to these categories the fact that there are many ways in which these elements can manifest it becomes apparent that in nature these concepts are very fluid. There are many ways in which gender is conceptualize by cultures and more varied indeed is the manner in which gender roles are characterized. When it comes to love among equal genders these categories manifest but from the standpoint of strength which is the value of the male realm. Passive, submissive, or any other adjectives given to the bottom are but description of how the male strength choses to emerge in a male/male relationship; the same way when we use other adjectives to characterize tops. Any word and denomination is constraining and the truth is that there are many ways to be a bottom and many ways to be a top and the fluidity of these energies are always in a state of flux.  As a rule the male strength is always present regardless of the role we play in an intimate relationship. The strength and force of a male grip either using the hand, the mouth the anus, or the phallus is still a manifestation of that universal force that permeates all of us as we engage each other’s energy within the chosen role. That is a point of departure; there can not be a top without a bottom or vice versa. It is as I said before the natural order of things. No one can denny the fact that we are relating our energies in a sexual encounter as a male to male proposition but in a different degree of intensity which makes the encounter fulfilling and meaningful. The organs involved speak to the degree of energy engaged and no one can forget the fact that there is a male exchange of energies which is mutually fulfilling when done right.

  Hello long time no see.  For those of us who have lived the lifestyle and have lived this way of life for a long time we've endured trials and tribulations and it seems more than our share of failures as well as some success.  For those coming into the lifestyle,  some things are new, most things are not  BDSM is the natural order of life.  There will always be dominant, submissive, property, owner, slave, submissive, bottom, top, all these are just words used to describe that order. There's no going back, No utopia to the human condition Someone will always lead, someone will always follow, some will always use, some will always take, some always give, some always do nothing except sit there and not move forward for a lack of fear for lack of decisiveness for lack of just Not wanting to take that chance. Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism  are the tools of the lifestyle, the sex all that pretty much remains the same. The only difference is who's doing it,who's using it,who's living it. Humans are a short lived species better to have lived life then to wait until end to experience it at death's door.      

How I Think About This Life There's a difference between Dominants and Masters that most people . Dominants and submissives live this episodically, in scenes, in chapters, in hungers that get fed and return. It's something they do. For those at the deeper end of the pool it goes further than that. It is fundamentally different. It is woven into who they are. It can't be set down because it was never picked up. It is simply there, part of who they are.  When they aren't living in alignment with it, they feel something is missing. If you've done scenes, found satisfaction, and then felt the hunger return unchanged as if you'd fed the wrong appetite entirely, sit with that. It may not mean something was wrong. It may mean you've been reaching for the right thing in the wrong form. That isn't to say that a lifestyle that's built around playtime scenes is wrong or lesser, just that if it isn't scratching the itch you feel fully, mere domination may not be what you need. From my perspective, dominance is about the application of power in a given moment. Mastery is about depth, about how completely you're committed to understanding and fully expressing a woman's unique nature. I use dominance as a tool of Mastery, not its definition. What I'm after isn't the performance of control but its reality, to shape a willing partner into their deepest perfection as I see it. Dominance is the moment. Mastery is the journey. That journey begins with genuinely knowing her. What moves her. What holds her back. What she hasn't yet given herself permission to want. What she doesn't yet understand about herself. I hold what many people today would call an anachonistic (and often misogynistic) view of a woman's nature and her place in a dynamic. It is not a lesser place, simply a different one.  A hammer and a screwdriver serve different purposes, and each performs terribly as the other, yet they are both equal.  Dominance and submission is a response, in many ways, to how our society has tried to homogenize the roles of men and women in a way no different than demanding we accept hammers and screwdrivers as being equaly capable of fulfilling each other's roles.  I believe far too many women today struggle with happiness precisely because they have accepted society's rejection of traditional gender roles socially and sexually. I've seen women who feel peace and gratification when they submit in the bedroom, then can't understand why they're angry and frustrated when they live the rest of their lives trying to pretend to be the same as men.  Some women can navigate society's definition of "equal" just find, but submissive women need a place to express something core to their being that isn't satisfied in that space of equality.  For some, submission in the bedroom fills the need adequately, but if you're still feeling that hunger to submit, if scenes aren't fully feeding your need, I believe that's why. Do not mistake me: I do not see women as in any way lesser than men, only different. There are highly compentent women in every field and skill; I simply believe that a woman need not sacrifice her femininity, nor a man his masculinity, for the sake of equality, and that society's attempts to do so are why so many women (and men) are dissatisfied today.  It is mind-boggling to me how so many people can recognize the fundamental difference between equality and equity in relation to (for instance) disabilities, yet contend that equality between men and women is natural.  If you have a womb and I don't, equality isn't possible, period.  Equity, however, is. I don't apologize for those beliefs and I'm not interested in debating it. What I mean by that isn't contempt. It means I think femininity carries something specific and profound and inextricably linked to submission.  A something that goes to one's core, and that a woman who understands and inhabits that space rather than arguing with it is capable of a submission that most people in this life never actually find. I find that kind of woman extraordinary. Truly a priceless masterpiece to be treasured, and conformed to my vision of their perfection not harshly, but with firm confidence. My approach has always carried a 1950's quality to it, in the best expression of that era (which most certainly wasn't always its reality). The structure of domestic life has always served, for me, as an expression of the dynamic.  That particular kind of submissive femininity that finds meaning in service and in the rhythms of a household held to a standard, the rituals of daily life weaving the texture of the dynamic. The aesthetic matters to me as well: a woman in a well fitted A-line dress over stockings and a garter belt, moving through a home with intention and grace is, to my mind, one of the most beautiful things there is. It is simply where my sense of how this life is lived most fully has always landed. It certainly isn't for everyone, and I"m not saying it is better, only that for those for whom it fits I believe it is most satisfying.  I'm drawn to a woman who makes pleasing me her partner her quiet art, whether we are in a relationship or not.  I love enging with a woman who wants to be formed and shaped into her most fully realized self, who finds in that not diminishment but the truest expression of what she is.

I don't use the term fake when describing a person who isn't suitable for Me. A bottom pushing his own needs is off my radar because an actual submissive with five years experience ar giving up authority outside of play and in life who drives his own car, who already goes to munches and clubs is IN my radar. So many on here who contact Me are not suitable so I rarely login here. Guys wonder where all the Dominant Women are? They are not on here for the reason I just gave. Pushy bottoms want a a kink service but don't go to fetish clubs to get their kink fix. There are plenty of tops at fet clubs happy to give twenty minutes of play for a drink and foot rub. Quid-pro-quo, give something in return as two human beings. Simple.  Mistress Whipplash Ma'am   

I'm not quite sure how this site works or where this post will show up, but I'm up late and wondering....another post got me thinking, and I'm off on a tangent. I guess I'm trying to make a shift from my vanilla life to this new and exciting life. The vanilla life is easy, I guess, kinda, I can have sex, yay, it's easy, I can lie and say I like it, I want to be with you, and have a relationship. But all the time my brain, and penis, knows better, I'm thinking how I can convert you to be my perfect kinky partner. I CAN'T. I KNOW! FU#K! So now what? I'm tired of lying, feeling guilty. Virginisinism sounds good for now I guess.

I just saw a profile that consisted of only a BDSM test. When I read it I realized something that is missing and likely is the most important thing. Where is the reference to interest in a real life encounter? Where is any reference relating to an actual time frame of when it might occur? So many of the kink or BDSM tests address interests but do not differentiate between those who want to masturbate to being a rope bunny and those who honestly want to be a rope bunny tomorrow, a week or a month from now. Being interested in being a slave is totally different than being a slave.  Someone who has slave tendencies or wants to be a slave someday is a waste of my time.  While I try to be understanding, I do not want to spend weeks, months, or years getting to know someone who might someday meet me in real life. I do not have any interest in exchanging erotica or demanding pornography.  If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life for a year or two, it does not mean that they are fake.  That is worth repeating, If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life, it does not mean that they are fake.  It does mean that even though our interest may align our timeline does not. I am mentally, emotionally and financially stable and could move a slave into my home anytime.  I can take care of myself and do not need a slave.  Having a slave in my home makes my life more comfortable.  My slave does all of my domestic duties, I provide rituals, structure and you will not be required to work outside my home or office. I do not want to rescue a woman who is in desperate need to leave her fucked up life.  I do not need to complicate my life with a whole lot of drama.  I accept that everyone will come with a certain amount of baggage but I live a happy, peaceful life in paradise. I am looking for a woman who has a desire to fully commit to a life as my slave.  Expereince, age, location is not as important as the desire and ability to meet in real life.  If you are at a point in your life where you are prepared to relocate within a resonable time then we should talk.

When covid came about, i/we did everything we could to protect ourselves.   To this day we continue to do everything we can to protect ourselves.   My 1st bout with covid was due to my boss not having any sense   Running a fever stay away from people, he came to my desk.   I have had both vaccines and the booster.   Had i not taken another covid test would not have known i was positive.   Moral of the story:   Just because you are vaccinated you can still catch. I did not have any symptoms yet i was positive and could pass the virus to someone else.   Stay safe / stay healthy   i don't know about you; however, i am over it.

Hi all, I know hardly anybody reads these but here goes. I'm an old biker, still ride. I smoke and drink, and if that puts you off then there isn't much point in reading further, cos I'm not changing in any hurry. I'm recently retired and have lots of free time on my hands. After 50 years of working it means I am getting bored a lot. So I'm looking for ways to make life more interesting. Any suggestions considered. Although I'm 67 now I'm still young at heart. 6'2", 12st, shaved head and long beard, usually dyed a daft colour. Currently green and blue. If anything about me intersts you feel free to message. Suggestions and questions welcome. Manners essential. If you managed to read this far, well done. 

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE