The Particular Ache of an Empty House I have been thinking about doors lately. The specific quality of a door that opens onto something waiting for you, the difference between entering a space that is simply empty and entering one that has been prepared, held in a certain state of readiness by someone whose entire orientation for the hours you were gone has been toward your return. I know that difference in my body. I have lived on both sides of it, and I will not pretend they feel anything alike.   Right now I come home to silence. It is my silence, my space, maintained to my standards because I maintain it myself, and there is nothing wrong with it except that it is inert. A room that has not been thinking about me. A kitchen that holds no evidence of anticipation. A threshold that does not know the difference between my arrival and any other event in the day. I cross it and the space simply continues being what it was, indifferent, unchanged, requiring nothing of either of us.   I miss the other kind of threshold with a specificity that surprises me sometimes.   I miss the quality of a home that has been tended. Not cleaned in the transactional sense, though that too, but tended in the way that a person tends something they care about, with attention to what it is for and who it belongs to. The particular arrangement of a room that tells you someone has been thinking about your comfort in your absence. The light already correct. The temperature already what you prefer. The small and specific details of your own preferences reflected back at you by a space that has been held, carefully, in your image while you were elsewhere inhabiting the world.   I miss being known before I speak.   There is a warmth to genuine devotion that I do not think translates to anyone who has not felt it, because it reads from the outside as service and from the inside as something closer to being loved in the most precise and practical language available. Not the warmth of sentiment, though there is that too, but the warmth of competence directed entirely at your ease. Of someone who has studied you carefully enough that your needs arrive met before you have finished forming them into requests. That warmth is not loud. It does not announce itself. It simply exists as the temperature of the space around you, slightly and unmistakably above what the world outside provides.   I think about coming home after a hard day, the specific hard days that my body produces without my permission, the ones where the pain has been a sustained and wearing presence since morning and the outside world has asked more of me than I had available and I have given it anyway because that is what I do. I think about what it would mean to cross a threshold into a space that already knew. Where the bath had been drawn, not because I asked but because someone understood the day I was having and had moved to meet me in it. Where the room was quiet and the lighting considered and the particular tea I need when I am worn down was already steeping to the correct minute.   Where someone was waiting, not with needs of their own to present or words requiring response, but simply with presence. The warm and steady presence of a person whose purpose, in that moment, is entirely my restoration.   I built that once. I know how to build it. I know what it requires, and what it produces. I know the specific quality of peace that settles into a body that has been genuinely, competently received by someone who considers receiving you their greatest privilege.   Kahlil Gibran wrote that work is love made visible. The devotion I am describing is exactly that: love made visible not in declarations but in the ten thousand small and correct things that together produce a life that feels held. The right cup. The considered room. The hands that know where it hurts without being told. The presence that asks nothing and gives everything and finds in the giving its own complete satisfaction.   I am building toward it again. This quiet house is a temporary condition, a chapter rather than a conclusion, and I know this with the certainty of a woman who understands the difference between where she is and where she is going.   But tonight I notice the silence, and I name what it is missing, and I let myself want it fully and without apology.   The warmth of a home that has been thinking about me is always on my mind.

I am NOT a Pro Domme, but I use an app for texting called Telegram.  It is a free app. If you think it's a scam Look IT UP! Also, I'm not interested in games. If you are not sure if you're submissive, please don't bother contacting me. I am not intestered in "trying" to see.  I am also on Skype and fetlife.  Atomteacher for both. If you are local or willing to relocate feel free to send me a respectful message. I will NOT dominant you online, sext, role-play or watch you jerk off on Skype.  I will NOT send you pictures, videos or provide you material to masterbate to! There's plenty of porn online, use THAT not ME. I want a real person, a real D/s relationship! Please don't waste my time!    I require daily contact to properly vet you. If you are too busy to send me a text daily, then you are too busy for me. If you can watch YouTube on toilet for 20 minutes then I really think you give me that much time daily through the vetting process.      

Here is the more detailed version of my "about me": It took me a while to settle in on using the name “breastfeedingboy”.  I went through several other possibilities first.  But I’ll explain that a bit. First ... you could say I’m very “mouthy”.  Because that’s what I do.  I use my mouth.  But more in that in a bit.  LOL I am in my 40s, live in the southeastern part of Pennsylvania.  I’m not married and I have no kids.  I am a straight guy with a steady job, a love for soup and steak and football. Now ... I have a strong jaw and am “mouthy” because I enjoy ... Breastfeeding, whether dry or otherwise.  If breastfeeding is something you crave having done to you, I am your titty boy.  Not just for a few minutes, but however long you desire.  Make me nurse you for hours.  I will keep up. Cunnilingus (eating p***y, to put it vulgarly).  From hood to perineum and every little place in between, I will give my tongue a workout so that you are made to skyrocket to the zenith.  If you are soppy wet, I will lick you dry.  If you are dry, I will lick you wet.  And I don’t stop until you tell me to.  If you wrap your legs around my ears or try to wiggle away, I stay with you and keep lapping until you verbally tell me to stop. Toe sucking with foot massages.  I’m still learning about this one but know that the entire foot needs pleasured while the toes are washed clean.  I will keep researching it and learning more about it.  But you could have the stresses of your day rubbed and sucked right out of your body through your feet and toes, all while you lean back and enjoy a glass of your favorite wine. Kissing (on the mouth), with or without the tongue.  ‘A woman can tell a lot about a guy, just based on the way he kisses.’ This may be a cliché statement, but it still has a great deal of truth to it.  If you can’t convey anything she likes through a kiss, what difference will the rest make? I am very big on hugs and cuddling. Now ... about the profile name. I thought about ‘oralslave’, but I’m not a slave. And using the word oral just sounded ugly. I thought about ‘mouthyboy’ but I felt that made me sound like a bratty smartass.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I’m an obedient soul. I thought about “licknsuck” but then I immediately stopped considering that one as I wanted my name to show some class and some dignity. ‘breastfeedingboy’ was the goldilocks choice.   It sounded just right.    I’m not a slave and not interested in being one.  I would say I am a pleaser, which is why I selected submissive for my profile. I am most interested in making the female body feel goooood, slowly and in several different places on the body.  I will be looking for a woman who enjoys the company of someone with “mouthy” benefits. Other things I enjoy: Opening the door for a lady Pushing in the chair for a lady Flea Markets State Parks Action/Adventure Movies Suspense/Thriller Movies   I’m not offering a service.  And I’m also not looking to buy a service from anyone.  I am simply a submissive type guy who loves to use his mouth.  And I would love to meet the woman who would love to control my mouth in whatever way she wanted. So if you are interested in anything you just read on this profile, please contact me and let’s chat. ------------------------------   Not to come off as being rude but just so I’m not misleading anyone, I understand that sucking cock is also an oral “mouthy” thing to do.  But I am straight and I have no interest at all in doing that.  So you don’t need to contact me and remind me that sucking cock is oral.  I am aware that it is oral. There is absolutely no chance you will ever get me to do that.

He was there when i was brokenHe was there when the tears shreddedHe was there when my meds wasnt workingHe was there walking by my side protecting meHe was there to pick up the pieces when my family threw me to the wolvesHe was there for me when i felt aloneHe was there to pick up the phone when i needed to talkHe was there for me when i had a mental snap due to my medical problemsHe was there for me through thick and thinHe was there tp correct me when i messed upHe was there and has been for going on 11 yearsIt all started by a simple friend requestHe was there for my failures and successesCan you say that about your Master? If not good you deserve itMy Master is my saver im still breathing because of him thank you Master i respect you and thank you for being there for me and allowing me to walk by you now its my turn to return it if you need me im one phone call away just a text away im here for you

1/25/25 Are there Dommes of quality in New England or NYC?     As I have said in my profile, I'm nominally a dominant man, very much the take-charge sort of person, and have fully explored D/s as a MDom. I was hoping that there would be a few Dommes who could make my head spin, my heart race, and shift my libido into overdrive. Someone to make me want to throw caution to the wind and put myself in your hands, kneel and worship you.     Sadly, the landscape is pretty barren, barely out of school “dommes’ who want money, or others who wouldn’t catch my eye on the street. Engage my mind as well as my libido and I will worship and please you as only a well-rounded, complete man can.  

You know what I’ve noticed? A lot of you want to be owned—but none of you want to earn it. You slide into my inbox like you’ve already been claimed, like we’ve built something, like I even know your favorite color or what your voice sounds like when you’re trying not to moan. Spoiler: I don’t. It’s always the same—some lazy “hey gorgeous,” followed by a picture of your dick like it’s a résumé. You call it confidence; I call it laziness with bad lighting. You don’t build devotion through shock value. You build it through discipline, consistency, and showing up without needing to be begged for it. You want intimacy? You want that mind-melting, breath-stealing connection you fantasize about when your hand’s between your legs? Then stop treating Me like a vending machine for your kinks. You don’t insert your fetish and press D for Domme—that’s not how this works. You think you’re ready to be used, but you can’t even send a respectful message. You think I’ll give you access to My energy just because you find Me attractive? Cute. You’re aroused—and that’s supposed to be My problem? Flattery doesn’t earn you obedience. Desire doesn’t earn you access. And your dick definitely doesn’t earn you attention. You say you crave to serve, to please, to surrender—but you don’t understand that real submission requires something from you. Time. Effort. Patience. . Always sacrifice. You want to be worship? Earn the privilege. You want Me to care what you crave? Show Me why I should. Otherwise, you’re just another noise in the crowd—nameless, forgettable, replaceable. Because when you finally understand how to build intimacy, that’s when the real reward comes. That’s when a Domme looks at you and thinks, “Yes. He’s worth My time.” That’s when your devotion becomes currency—and it starts buying you experiences no instant message ever will.   Until then, keep your dick pics, your “hey sexy,” and your entitled fantasies. You haven’t earned the 

Be local, because I want to touch you I get that there’s a desire for online play, and that a lot of people are into it. That’s fine. People want what they want, and there’s nothing wrong with that: it’s how they go about getting it that’s the issue. I specifically request that my potential suitors be local because I’m not interested in online relationships. I want to meet you, get coffee or something, go for a walk, see your expressions while I hear your voice, evaluate your demeanor, feel if there’s any spark between us. If that spark exists, I want to touch you. I can’t do that online. Appreciation from afar is okay - I suppose, but unless you’re local or at least have already booked a visit to Seattle, I’m not interested. Visiting the Seattle for business or pleasure? Great. Hinting that it might happen if I give you enough online attention first? Nope. There are people here who are looking for online relationships. Feel free to talk to them, as they’re who you’re looking for. If that’s what you’re interested in, you’re not looking for me.

1 year post gastric bypass I have lost approximately 80 pounds from December 2020-May 2022. I had gastric bypass on May 2021. What have I learned in the first year post gastric bypass: A bite or two of something is enough for a taste but you don’t need a ton. A single bite or two of something sweet but high in calories is usually enough. I was trained as a small child that anything you take you eat. Learning to stop when full and ask for a box or throw away/give away the remainder has been a huge success. Shopping in decreasing sizes doesn’t mean you have to purchase every size as you go down. I have gone from a 22/24 sometimes 26 down to a 12-16 depending on the store. I have gotten a lot of my clothes from friends at a clothing exchange. I have at times lost more inches than pounds so when i decide everything is too big I shop then i see a large jump from where i was to where I am. I’ve gone from an old navy xxl at my heaviest to a xl in bodycon dresses to a m in summer dresses. Which was a thrill. However, I don’t shop enough to purchase every size. In Jeans, I usually end up dropping 2 or 3 sizes when i shop since i wear them with a belt until they are insanely big. Weighing/measuring portions isn’t a bad thing. I actually want to upgrade my food scale to a nicer one. I use this daily. When I pack lunches for work I’m still packing too much. It is a shock to bring home half of what i pack. If i take a large back of something into my desk drawer I have to take a measuring device to portion it out or portion ahead of time. If not I fall into bad habits The scale isnt the only victory. If i lose inches and clothing fit better that is a win. Being able to take dresses from tunic tops to actually dresses with boots this winter has been fun. Regular knee-high boots not extra extended calf have been a thrill. Being able to handle heels regularly has been amazing. Going to the gym is fun with the right classes. Spend the extra for the gym with classes you might like. My family spends 86 per month on the YMCA instead of 40 for planet fitness locally. The Y has childcare and all the classes. I go to water aerobics, pure barre and body pump. I have a ton of fun at all 3. Plus as long as I go 12 times a month I get 20 back on membership. If my husband goes 12 times we get 20 back for him as well. SO it bring the Y down close to Planet fitness in cost plus it includes childcare and activities for my daughter as well. I can keep up with my co-workers who are almost half my age. I feel mentally sharper. I also can physically outdo some of them. I work in a department where we move some boxes of paperwork on a regular basis. As long as i’m not wearing a short skirt and the box isn’t over my head I can lift most. I have learned it is ok to ask for help with medical concerns. I am an insulin diabetic on a pump. I have had to reach out a few times for my data to be reviewed by my diabetic care team and be adjusted. My goals for year 2 are to: I plan to up my time at the Y. I currently go 2 times a week for me and then 2 times a week for my kid to use the pool. I want to get to 3 or 4 times a week for me and 2 times for my kid. Find someone to be accountable to forMonitoring the protein i get in daily- i should be getting between 60-90 grams of protein in dailyMy time spent at the gymMy food logs With my current partners consider adding those pieces into my dynamic with them. Not so much as to be babied by them but to know i’m being monitored. To Know i will be asked why i didnt do one of them some specific day. It is like the monitoring with my medications that we do currently. I want to get under 200 pounds. I have always been a BBW but i want to become closer to hwp. I want to be able to completely shop in straight sizes instead of still flipping between straight sizes and plus. I want to be able to get tied into more positions. In addition to being a masochist.

I just made chocolate chip cookies topless. Here's what happened.  I'm on a health kick (the cookies aren't for me). The other night I made lentil bolognese and it called for red wine. Just a little. I'm not a wine drinker but I do cook with it. So, smidge of wine into the pot, cork the bottle. Google tells me I only have a few days to finish the bottle, but I can freeze the wine. Pull out a small ice cube tray, pour half the bottle in, stick it in the freezer. And I learned that wine takes a lot longer to freeze than water. I should have known this but I wasn't thinking. I pulled the tray out with the amount of force you would if it were ice. It wasn't ice. Wine all down the front of my shirt. Now, I'm already in the process of making cookies so what do I do? Whip off my shirt and rinse it under cold water to try to get the stain out. Do I go upstairs to get another shirt? Stay with me here, I know I'm topless. But no, I do not. I grab an apron and tie it on. These damn cookies better be delicious. 

I am ideally looking for a servant who understands that the most profound connections are built on loyalty, clear structure, and shared purpose. If you are a woman (either Cis or Trans) who enjoys being in a subservient role and finds fulfillment in being the anchor in my chaotic world while serving my needs both physically and emotionally, both in and out of the bedroom, this may be the connection you have been seeking. What I Am Looking For:Someone who is-Disciplined & Stoic: You possess a calm, composed demeanor and thrive in environments that require clarity and efficiency during chaos. You can ground your Owner/Master if the need arises. I am NOT looking for a full-time brat, though I am open to banter and shared experiences with dry humor and teasing naturally. Fiercely Loyal: You understand that true strength lies in devotion. You are someone who takes pride in handling the chaos of life, be it physically or emotionally, willing to help wherever and however you can. This does not mean you are tied down to solely me, UNLESS that is the goal you wish to achieve. Comfort in Structure: You find peace in order and hierarchy. You are not afraid of high expectations because you know you are capable of meeting them—and exceeding them. You thrive in being told what to do; however, you are also independent in your basic activities, even though you enjoy being doted on with reminders. Service-Oriented: You are the type of woman who finds deep satisfaction in being the one person I can trust above all others, the one who understands my chaotic mindset implicitly. Any order given is one you enjoy; however, preferences and desires will always be taken into account. I am hypersexual; do keep that in mind, but I also have my shortfalls in the department of "men's health". You are understanding of this while encouraging the use of toys and other means. I will NOT leave you hanging unless you are the type who prides my release over your own. In return, I offer a dynamic defined by safety, respect, and profound appreciation. This is not a typical dynamic; it is a partnership built on the understanding that your devotion, both sexual and nonsexual, is a rare and precious resource. You will be valued, protected, and cherished for the immense strength and competence you bring into my life. To be clear: I am not looking for someone to "complete" me; I am looking for someone to stand beside me—or operate within the space I provide—as a servant in maintaining the order of our world. If you are tired of being underappreciated and are ready to dedicate your talents to a dynamic where you are finally seen for your true worth, I invite you to reach out. My goal is to make things abundantly clear, so there is no confusion about what I am looking for. So I have tried my best to keep it clear and direct, but I know I won't always get it right. That being said, please reach out if you have any questions. This is NOT an ad looking for someone over long distances or online; you must be able to physically meet.

He drops his head to his chest, but then slowly nods.  "Thank you for your honesty, baby." I continue to explain how, just because of the pandemic I had not deviated from my desire of finding someone else and that now that people are comfortable meeting again, I would resume my search. He kept looking at the floor between his legs and I had to keep telling him to look me in the eye. This was the moment I had been holding back on for too long. I could feel my anticipation building in my chest, bursting to be heard. It took all of my strength to stop me from just ting out what I wanted to say, but I understood the gravity of what we were discussing and knew that was not the way to go about it. A good Dominant wants her submissive to be on the same page as her, not only willing to have his limits pushed, but wanting it. I find the psychology involved in convincing M that this is what he wants, intoxicating. It is what I consider the true essence of behavior modification.  I compose myself and everything starts to flow out naturally, I feel my power. This is the moment of truth. M and I have discussed cuckolding quite a bit and he is granted sex very infrequently and has learned not to even ask, but this is the first time I am going to extiguish any hope he may have of it happening again. I know this is a big deal. I explain in a very sweet and delicate tone how I love him dearly with all my heart, but that he would never have sex with me in the traditional sense again, ever. He stares up at me unblinking. I repeat it so that it would sink in, "M, we have arrived at this point, please understand that you will never, ever have sex with me again." He looks heartbroken, I want to scoop him up and hold him, but I must continue. I tell him how I know he could never satisfy me and in a way, I didn't want him to. I tell him what he already knows, which is that I have been driving this lifestyle because this is what I want. I tell him that there may have been a time when I saw him as a toy to be used sexually, but I just can't even picture that anymore. I tell him how I have always loved the dynamic we have and especially now more than at any other time in the past.  "M, this has always been my goal, you must have always known that." he nods with sad eyes.  I love the control, I love completely owning him in a mothering sense, I love his submission and most of all his helpless obedience and emasculation. I tell him he could never go back, that this was how I want him and how I love him. I can see my words sinking in as he stares at me. The shield of his pacifier gag is rather big and I can't tell if I see anger, fear, or acceptance in his face as he sits there quietly. I continue. "I love you M...but we committed to this lifestyle a long time ago TOGETHER and I just cannot keep indulging you sex when I get nothing out of it. Indulging you in such a way is not good for your headspace and I know you know that. I’m in need of the feelings that I used to get from men who were not my little boy. Yes, our dynamic has me almost constantly aroused...the power ugh..., but masturbation no longer satisfies me and the idea of having sex with what we've helped you become just ruins my powerful headspace."  He looks very sad and is pleading with his eyes, but at the same time I can see he is rocking on his butt slightly fidgeting (he thinks he's being discreet but the crinkle of his diaper is unmistakable). He rocks in his diaper like that when he is aroused and trying to get some feeling to his chaste bits; it's his “poker tell.” This rocking is the final indication I need that I am making the right decision. I stand up, get very close to his side and have him hug my leg while I rub the top of his head.  I tell him that I can tell by his rocking that he must accept everything I'm saying and that a verbal response wasn't needed. He looked up at me suddenly, still rocking and holding my legs, with big eyes, pleading eyes. I smile, "accept it baby, it will be easier, you don't even need to speak. Just nod your head and show me you accept what I've said." Still looking at me, he closed his eyes and drops his chin to his chest. With a little more force I say, "M, open your eyes, look at me and nod your head." 

In 2014, I began the process of changing a 40 acre farm over to a 40 acre nature sanctuary. I began by planting wildflowerrs and trees where the row crops used to grow. I also created a very large indoor grow in one of my comercial buildings and in 2019, a  machine shop in another comercial building. Together, these replace the income lost due to stopping the row crops. Covid came along and threw a wrench in things but I've gotten things back on track. I wanted to staff the machine shop and the grow with lifestyle folks and it has taken me awhile but I have found my first couple and they are moved in. I am happy to announce a new profile over on Fetlife.com Come and view us and if you are a sub or slave couple or a sub or slave female, you just might want to throw in with us. Look for HomesteadFamily on Fetlife.com Here is to hoping we all find what we seek. Larry B. Owner      

Under your feet-- On top of the world In my place I never get bored With a delicate touch, your tension I ease To pamper and please from heels to knees Gracefully you let me kneel in prayer As you sit before me with dignified airs Commanding respect, admiration; no flaw In humble submission I follow in awe The final touch in quiet repose A purple coat on each royal toe  

Hi to anyone who reads this. My profile page is blank because, when I first joined,  I had a problem,  I wrote about myself but for some reason,  I kept getting timed out and lost all that I had written.  I thought that I would do it later but, when I saw how long it took to get approved  I didn't want to wait that long again.    I am a straight guy with a good sense of humour, trustworthy, honest, loyal and very sincere in my search for a Dominant woman in a long term FLR relationship. I'm easy going eager to please,  love doing and pleasing,  I'm actually happiest when I'm doing things for others,  it gives me great pleasure in doing so.  I am willing to under go any training a Dom may have so that they could shape me to fit all of her wants, needs and desires.  I realise that some punishment would be needed to speed up any training program she may have, or even except the torture and punishment just for amusement.  Hopefully there is that special lady out there thats searching for me. I have good domestic skills and some d.i.y skills. 

Why are humiliations beneficial for me? Humiliations help me develop humility by reminding me that I am not perfect and that I have limitations. Facing them with serenity strengthens my patience and my ability to endure punishments or training calmly. Additionally, it is an opportunity to practice forgiveness towards those who humiliate me and to develop greater compassion towards them. Receiving humiliations helps me let go of my ego and the need for recognition or approval from my Teacher. These experiences, seen as tests or challenges, contribute to my growth and the strengthening of my character when they are overcome. They also prompt deep reflection and self-examination, leading to greater self-awareness and understanding of my own weaknesses and strengths. Accepting humiliations strengthens my dedication and trust in my Teacher, recognizing that everything happens for a reason and has a purpose in her plans.

Don't give up my first journal. Hi I'm mistress muse and I am dominant to my wolf.  If there is one thing that being on the scene has taught me, it would be to never give up. I spent so long in fruitless vanilla relationships that although, true, filled with love and all the nice things that people claim to experience in these things it also carried with it a weight. It was like a brick in my chest, a wrong feeling, an alone feeling, a dark hopeless feeling, a sinking if you will. Which in a way was true I was drowning I was drowning in self doubt I was drowning in a sea of misunderstandings and depravity. The love I craved seemed so taboo it almost seemed impossible to obtain. I may have been looking in the wrong places but even kinky people I've known for years on the scene would often look baffled if I piped up some of my perversions. I then met someone I had known in a completely vanilla setting... So vanilla in fact even he hadn't really noticed me before... a friend who knew of his kinks thought we would be quite suited. Looking back now I find it amusing that both him and I scoffed at the idea but Kinky curiosity got the better of us. There was this feeling everytime we spoke... A feeling of understanding... A good feeling... A weightless feeling soon combined with a feeling of want. I wanted this man... I was fucking getting him. On the scene for years he has been known as z3ro (zero) but ladies gents and pets let me tell you this he is anything but a zero so from the very beginning I have refused to use this name for him. He became my Wølf, my alpha bitch, my sub, my friend, my mirror and my PARTNER. I have used this term quite freely in the past but with him it's different. He is my partner in crime he is my play partner he is my intellectual chewing gum. He turns my head and the way my brain works. I never thought it was possible to find someone to just get me and be able to match my sadistic evil streak. To find someone on the same interlectual level as me. For me to find someone just as twisted as me. For this I am grateful and this is why my wisdom(me) for the day is this.... JUST DON'T GIVE UP

prt 2 ... This was the first one on one interaction I'd had with
a female for over a month, and I'm ashamed to say that with
the smell of her perfume and her proximity to me, I was feeling
the tingles of an erection.
As we talked our legs occasionally touched each other,
and I was always the one to move. June told me that 23 was no
age and that a good looking young guy like me would have no
problem finding someone new. I tried to get off the subject
and asked about her. She was divorced from Emma's dad
for some 20 years now and never seemed to have any interest
in dating again. She smiled and put her hand on my knee and
squeezed and told me I was sweet. I must admit I blushed a
little. She seemed to take courage from my blushing and
moved her hand slightly up my leg and squeezed gently again
. Her smile was even broader as I began to squirm a little
trying to hide my growing erection. Her eyes held mine as
she slid her hand further up my thigh and her thumb brushed
the tip of my erection. She swirled her thumb around the
head making it twitch. I went to stand but her other hand
reached over and grabbed my knee firmly. I went to speak
but she seductively shushed me. Her thumb was joined by
the rest of her hand. I pushed upwards. June smiled and pulled her hand away. Leaving my cock twitching
in my jeans.
She asked me if I liked that, I dumbly nodded. She asked if I wanted more, again I nodded. Smiling, she leaned in and
kissed me gently on the lips, her tongue quickly darting
in and out of my mouth. She pulled away and told me to stand
up and strip as she wanted to see me naked. I was sexually
hypnotized, my little head was doing the thinking and the
rest of my body was just going along for the ride. I stood
in front of her, she smiled and leaned back on the sofa as
I took off my shirt. She leaned forward and undid my belt,
and pulled it from the hoops of my jeans, folded it and
laid it across her lap. I undid my jeans and let them drop
and stepped out of them. My hard as iron cock was trying its
best to escape its boxer short prison. I hesitated for a
second but her smile encouraged me and I slid them off as
well.
She reached over and cupped my hard balls and gently squeezed
, My cock throbbed and I almost exploded as she took the head
in her lips and sucked gently flicking it with her tongue. What happened next took me totally by surprise and I nearly
fell over. She wound the belt around my thighs and pulled
it tight. I found my footing and put my legs together and
she took the opportunity to pull it tighter till it was biting
into my thighs. She fastened it.
I must have had the dumbest of looks on my face as she stood
. Her hand reached down and stroked my cock and she kissed
me gently on the lips. She pulled away and smiled as I leaned
into her. As she walked around me, her warm hands stroking
my chest, gently pulling on the hairs. She kissed my shoulder
and neck. Biting ever so gently. She stroked my back, I felt
her nail lightly scratch. Her hand slid down and gave my
tight ass cheeks a squeeze. I was in a haze as she reached
into her bag. I became more confused as she pulled out a scarf
and tied tightly around my eyes. I heard a jingle then felt
cold steel being tightened around my wrist and then my arms
being pulled behind me and the other wrist was cuffed. I
felt her circle me. I winced as she pinched me and poked me
. She squeezed my balls hard and I almost doubled. Holding onto my shoulders, she gently pushed me. I shuffled the best
I could. She stopped and I figured we were in the middle of
the room.  

On fitness... Having a partner who's physically active and fit has always been important. I want someone who is full of energy and excitement and can keep up, lol.  In the past, I've never really been attracted to guys who spend all of their time at the gym. For one thing, there's just more to life but second, I'm generally not attracted to huge muscle, gorilla types.  I recently spent several months with a retired firefighter-turned-chemist. Since he's retired, he wasn't nearly as bulky as he was in old photos--thank goodness. But clearly he still took care of himself. In bed one night, in a playful, flirty moment, he reached his arm over and wrapped it around My waist and in seconds I found Myself on top of him. I was almost a foot away from him but at 6ft+ tall, he definitely had a decent wing span. As I said, it was a playful moment but My word...it was also really fucking sexy. Obviously, I had to stick around for a few months to see what else he could do. ;)  I don't know what exercises you need to do at the gym to be able to lift 135lbs with one arm, but do those, lol. Don't do them until you don't have a neck anymore, because that's overkill. We're going for actual strength not just what strength looks like. 

A Raven and a Wolf   He sat, kneeling really, slowly panting, under a soft leather hood. It was laced tightly, almost preventing his every breath. And in the darkness, under the hood, he strained his ears to hear whether she was near, or far. He inhaled, trying to find her scent, but could only smell the leather of the hood. He tried to feel if he could sense her presence closer, but nothing. The air was still. His mouth, dry from nerves, with lips slightly agape, didn't utter a sound.   So he waited, arms bound, shoulder back, chest forward and exposed. Uncomfortably upright.    She sat before him, watching him lazily, like how a cat does with a weakened mouse, very still. A hunter and their prey. She was breathing evenly to hide the excitement pooling inside of her. Hands encased in buttery soft lamb skin gloves, the color of his hood, the color of her whip, the color of blood. The color of her lips. A red so beautiful. Her eyes sparkled at the idea of it coming from his body. Beautiful and broken. She could sense he was searching for her; a slight turn of the head, listening, perhap? Leaning forward gently; trying to smell? Like a dog, she thought, just like a dog. And she sat there far longer than even she desired to see how far this "dog" would go.    "Bark, dog" she commanded in a low voice  And he barked immediately, no hesitation. She pulled back her hand and slapped him, his head jerked, body lurched, chest rising and falling rapidly. A noticeable difference between his legs. There it was again, a hunger to bite into him. Taste his blood. Consume him. But only silence. No whimper, no moan, not a sound escaped him. She wondered if he were bleeding from his cute little mouth. Again she slapped him. Softer than the first, a loving caress, bits of his hair peeked through the laces of the hood and she wanted to grip them and tear them away. Would he let her? Perhaps.    The next slap, and the one after, opposite hand, and he fell forward just enough that his face touched her thighs only separated by the hood and her own stockings. The rule was he wasn't allowed to touch her unless she said. This was a broken rule, however accidental. She stood and let him slump forward in a stupor, supported only by the tension of the rope tied to the foot of the bed.   Bark, dog. Dog. He barked.  Up, dog, and he returned to his previous place, exposed and upright. She stepped forward, the toe of her shoe pressing down on the sensitive flesh of the head of his dick. She crushed it gently until he sat even straighter. She held his head in her left hand, caressed it gently, leather on leather. The smell intoxicating her. Raising her right hand she slapped him again, over and over until her hand grew hot even under the glove. Was he bleeding? She hoped so. She hoped to kiss him and bite his lips and taste his blood. She wished she could see his eyes, dazed, glassy, far away. She caressed his head. And whispered, "you may touch me" and he pressed his face into her hands, her thighs. Still no sound, he was so silent.   "Bark, my handsome boy" and he barked, hoarse and painful as she encircled his neck with her hands. This was his idea, he had inspired in her a lust for choking him until he was nothing and drifting away in the ether. She squeezed, her hands perhaps too small, until he gurgled. She wondered if his eyes were open or if they were dimmed. The hood obscured so much. She squeezed until he seemed to go limp. And she let him. Shoulders yanked uncomfortably under his weight.    He awoke. Arms aching, face hot but no longer enclosed by the hood. He could see her though his vision lacked acuity. She was standing over him, wrapped in pink except for gloves. He yearned for them then. Yearned for them to be around his neck, feeling the bones of her fingers threatening his very life. He wanted to ask for it, for her to choke him, strangle him, but knew it was to her whim that he obeyed. Obeisance was her pleasure. He looked at her, eyes soft, left cheek swollen, lips split ever so slightly and she leaned down and kissed him, sliding her tongue over the drying blood. He kissed her back, gentle, but hungry.    Her kiss was soft but grew more passionate until she bit him and suckled his mouth. Did he love this part of her? The softness before the sting.  She broke the kiss. Her lipstick perfect but her mouth and chin stained crimson with what must have been his blood. "Open your mouth, I'd like to try" she said softly. A shy whisper. So unlike the command to "Bark".  He angled himself upright, head back, lips parting painfully like a little bird. She leaned forward and let her own saliva pool in her mouth and slowly let it fall into his. He shuddered. His excitement excited her and she kissed him again before he could even swallow but this time it was wild and wet. Her saliva all over his mouth, chin, cheeks.    "I have to whip you now, are you ready?" She asked and he nodded. A question was not a command to speak. Dogs do not speak unless commanded to speak. She untied him and his body fell forward. Not used to its old range of motion. His limbs buzzed from having sat in one position for too long. He wondered about how much time had passed. Funny thing, time. Why did it matter now when he was in the moment with her.   Without the hood he realized he could smell her. A warm sweet scent, perhaps arousal. And he thought then about being forced to please her like they talked about in passing, forced until exhausted and even beyond. After play. Her, in her pink, looked like candy and he wanted to lick her. She must be sweet.      She looked down at him and his face was peculiar, his mind was somewhere else and he looked rather cute. But she was jealous at the idea that his mind wasn't on her and she kicked him in the stomach to bring him back to her. He coughed and curled up as she walked to retrieve her whip, preparing for the next step in her courtship.  "Up" she commanded and he got to his feet, winded, bruised. Arms still behind his back. She released them to tie them around the post of the bed. The bed post being the whipping post, isn't it somehow romantic, she thought.    "If you need me to stop, tell me, I won't be gentle otherwise" she said to him, her mouth on his ear. His hair was slicked down with sweat and he smelled musky. She liked his smell. She bit his earlobe and stepped back a couple of feet and threw the whip. Lash after lash until he tried moving away. Pulling at the post until it creaked. She wanted him to cry but he only moaned and groaned, no tears. Just a brow drenched in sweat as his back went from fine pink lines to slowly oozing wounds. If he didn't give her tears then she would have blood.  He pulled desperately as if trying to escape her and she threw the whip furiously, lashing whatever she could reach, his ass, thighs, calves, neck, even the back of his head. The post groaned as if it would break under the strength of him trying to flee.   "Do you want to get away from me?" She asked. His breathing heavy, labored, his body wobbled as blood poured from him, he shook his head no, weakly, and looked over his weeping shoulders with hazy eyes. Finally he spoke, a clear and clean "No, ma'am" from his lips now dry from mouth breathing, swollen from having been bitten and slapped.   The no rang through her body and she leapt at him and kissed and licked his mouth, his shoulders, his back. Barely containing her arousal, her hips moving in slow circles. She was so hungry.&n

If you'd like a reasonable answer and a good prospect of meeting me for real, message me and Don't assume any titles. You can tell me how you like to be addressed. You can ask or tell me once how you are going to address me unless I. Start with a greeting. It says so much. Not using any also tells me novels about you. Very disappointing and frustrating ones though. Tell me the reason why you contact me. Is it based on my profile and to figure out if, when, and how we'll have a real session offline? Tell me. Respect your own prospect and mine. If there is no overlap between what we are looking, don't ignore that. Don't ask me or try to play online for instance. Ask me questions if you like, but don't ask me something you can look up. You can always ask about my own definitions or opinions about something but give me context, please. I need to know why you ask. Tell me something about you but not everything, especially not right from the beginnung. Start with the most relevant information concerning your reason to message me. Open up a bit. Personal information is a give and take. Our balance gives away a good portion about the prospect to meet. Manage your expectations. This is the internet. Without closer contact, you don't know in which situation I am in, any sudden accident or sickness for example. I expect having to filter through a lot of crappy messages, people not reading, lack of manners, disrespect, crazy people, insults, plenty of people just disappearing. The list goes on. Don't expect a 100% reply rate, even from me. I am only human. It's the internet. Don't stalk or annoy (see respect above) but be patient and persistent. The only way to filter strangers is time and continuous communication. Liars have a hard time keeping up consistency. Con and scammers people don't like to invest too much time into the same contact. Trust is most valuable, time is second to that, followed by other resources like money. Try to include a question towards progress on trust, checking if it's a match, and possibly a real meeting.

I am having one of those days today, triggers are pushing me into grief. Things I am reading, elsewhere, and stuff on TV. When I took two grief counselling courses after my mum died, I found out about the fact that grief can pop up at any time, often a random trigger bringing it to the surface.  Well today I am feeling very sad over the passing of an ex submissive, she found me on here, and after messaging me, I wasn't here much then, on another kink site, we got together.  It was good for a long time, she had more experience, and I was a relative newbie, having only a years experience, still she consented to being mine. I learn't so much, and I will be forever grateful. After we separated, we stayed friends until I got involved with someone, who wasn't her, the friendship ended then. I had already tried once and another time would not have worked any better, so I moved on, but I guess she didn't.  I know we would never have been friends again, but I miss her, and the idea of the universe not having her in it, that's painful. I had hoped she would meet someone better suited to her, but that didn't happen before she passed. That breaks my heart.  The reason I am writing this, is, life is short, very short. It only seems like yesterday I was 20, and now there are fewer years ahead of me, than behind, and I wish everyone happiness, and fulfilment, including me. Thing is you never know the moment or the hour, people die suddenly, she did, my dad did and, well don't waste your life, live it fiercely, honestly, with care, consideration, and love.     Tain   

Today I was reflecting on something that has long been present in my life. As a youth, long before I had any language for BDSM or for how my attraction actually works, I hated environments like discos where the boys flocked around the pretty girls like bees around honey. I wasn’t a great dancer and I’ve always seen myself as fairly average looking, so I assumed I just felt “uncompetitive”. But it wasn’t just discos. The same thing happened in school groups, social circles, anywhere the dynamic shifted into a subtle contest. If I was interested in a girl and other admirers appeared, something in me would simply switch off. The interest didn’t fade - it vanished. I’d step back, not in defeat, but in disconnection. With my recent understanding of myself as demisexual - and recognising the emotional architecture that comes with that - I’ve realised it was never about insecurity or feeling “not good enough”. It was about wiring. I don’t experience attraction in environments built on competition, performance, or scattered attention. My system is tuned for depth, for attunement, for the kind of connection that grows slowly and privately between two people who are actually present with each other. When the field becomes crowded or performative, the signal dilutes. The possibility of depth collapses. And my interest shuts down automatically. Some people thrive on the chase, the rivalry, the adrenaline of “winning” someone’s attention. I never have. For me, attraction only exists where there is intentionality, reciprocity, and a sense of genuine one‑to‑one resonance. If that’s not the energy, I don’t compete - I disconnect. Not from fear, but because competition is simply the wrong ecosystem for the kind of connection I’m built for. I am left pondering where sites like Collarspace and Fetlife are right for me? So much seems to hinge on performance. But if not them, then what? Where?

Thought it would be helpful to cover a few points here... Interview style conversation is not my thing, if you want to get to know me then use your ability to hold a flowing conversation,  not an interview I am single, I do not see why anyone in a happy relationship would be on sites chatting so I assume you are also single ... if not then please don't waste our time with trying to strike up a chit chat  As of this year, 2022 I will be 50 on my next birthday and I found the lifestyle when I was about 21 so you do the maths  Sorry but I don't want to meet someone who is close to my children's age, to be safe if you are more than 10 years older or younger than me we won't be matched  I am not a slave, honestly I am very sure of that. I do have strong sub tendencies with the right alpha male but seriously if you don't consume my head you won't stand a chance of controlling anything else I am not into poly or sharing or being shared. I am totally monogamous and if you are not then flick over to the next profile I live with my family, happy to discuss with the right person but I have a young child at home so seek someone who understands how to make a vanilla and lifestyle combined relationship work whilst keeping tiny ones protected from it all I am a non smoker, I don't vape, I rarely drink and am seeking someone similar. Nights in the pub are not of interest I work full time and have limited time free so I am not in a position to travel to meet someone, so local is needed. For anyone who thinks a plane ride is local then jog on as you really are not on the realistic spectrum I am seeking  Yes I have been collared twice and for some reason it seems relevant but to be honest the first waited almost a year before it happened as he knew to me I see it as a serious commitment I do have limits which are a mix of health and personal things so happy to discuss but they are not negotiable  Likes, vanilla and lifestyle wise are varied but those can be savoured as part of a conversation  I hope that has given a flavour and please do find happiness in your journey but don't come across my pathway of you are a new dom I am not looking to teach you the ropes, a dom who really is a sub (there are many on here), if you are a female dom (so not my thing), if you are a male sub and finally no female subs.  Cheers x 

Results from bdsmtest.org 100% Dominant 100% Rigger 94% Master/Mistress 89% Owner 86% Sadist 84% Brat tamer 80% Degrader 73% Primal (Hunter) 53% Experimentalist 48% Voyeur 44% Vanilla 13% Daddy/Mommy 8% Exhibitionist 5% Non-monogamist 0% Ageplayer 0% Brat 0% Degradee 0% Boy/Girl 0% Masochist 0% Pet 0% Primal (Prey) 0% Rope bunny 0% Slave 0% Submissive 0% Switch

Oh this is a good one. Pay attention.  Wake up Drink 1 litre of water (2 glasses) Get out and walk at a steady pace, low intensity for 35-40 minutes Stretch for 10-15 minutes Drink a glass of water, then Eat breakfast, which is most protein. NO CARBS @ Breakfast. Examples: a. 3 egg, ham & cheese omelette  b. Cottage Cheese and 4 slices bacon c. Breakfast sausage and 3 eggs Light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Breakfast. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. About an hour later, Workout if you're going to. Best to do weights & lifting in the morning. Adding resistance 😈 training, increases your lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more body fat. 3-4 hours later, drink a glass of water, then have Lunch. Equal thirds of Protein, Carbs and Fat. Try to get 1 serving/cup of veggies in there. Examples: a. Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and broccoli b. Sandwich with cold cuts, chicken breast, roast beef, or whatever. Get extra tomatoes & lettuce. c. Roasted 1/2 or 1/4 chicken, steamed veggies and a sweet potato, fries, mashed potatoes, rice, hummus & pita, or a side of pasta salad. d. 2 item combo Chinese food: chicken, pork, beef with noodles or rice e. A burrito or wrap: go for the gold and get guacamole, as long as there's a carb, a protein and some sour cream (fat) in there. f. Pizza: the cheese is the fat, the crust is the carb. Now do it up with the protein and veggies. If you're going to have something naughty, do it towards the end of Lunch: a few pieces of chocolate, cake, cookies, soda, donut, you get the idea. Another light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Lunch. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. Mid afternoon snack, IF, and only IF you feel like you need something before dinner. This should be no more than 2 - 3 hours after Lunch. Have a light smoothie vs a "sugary juice." The goal here is: a base of coconut water or milk, AND mixed fruit, AND some deep green leafy vegetables like Kale, Spinach, Celery tops, etc. If you're able to add peanut butter and/or Greek Yogurt to it for the protein, even better! Drink a glass of water about an hour after the smoothie to flush it all through and out of your system. Get on your feet, stay active, do some sort of physical activity after the smoothie for at least 5 - 10 minutes. Dinner, anywhere from 3-5 hours after Lunch. Drink a glass of water before Dinner. The idea here is little to no carbs. Load up on veggies, and have some form of lean and mean protein. Think free range, wild caught, grass fed, etc. A few really good Examples: a. Roasted/Grilled/Pan Seared chicken, fish, beef for pork, AND 2 servings of steamed or baked veggies, or a salad. b. A huge salad, AND add the roasted/grilled protein above to it. c. You could have a Denver Omelette here with lots of veggies if you wanted, AND a nice big salad. d. Salmon/Tuna/Fish with veggies, AND a big salad. Try to be active, get out for an evening walk or bicycle ride, do some sort of low intensity physical activity after dinner for at least 30 minutes. Don't just sit down or plop on the couch. Do something. One big note, try to have and finish dinner at least 4-5 hours before bed. Go to Bed near hungry. After dinner, drink a glass of water every hour for a couple hours if you can. But stop a couple hours before bed, otherwise you'll be waking up to pee all night. Sleeping on an empty (or as close to near empty) stomach is important. This fasted state allows your body to recover, repair damaged cells and get rid of the bad ones. You'll notice better Growth Hormone production while sleeping in this manner, and more sex hormone release (estrogen for women, testosterone for men). Finally, believe it or not, part of the process of vaporizing body fat happens in your sleep, IF you sleep in a fasted state. For use as energy (the process of recovery and repair), your body will convert stored fat into air, that is then expelled out your lungs as you sleep throughout the night. Thanks for your time, and I hope you learned something. 

Small Mercies, Longer Days ? It has been one of those stretches where the days stack up against you before you have had a chance to argue with the first one. Nothing catastrophic, nothing worth dramatizing, just the particular grind of too much friction in too many directions at once, the kind of week that does not make good copy but costs you something anyway. A significant loss in the family that required me to help plan funerary rites, and restructuring at work that threatens my position.?I have been moving through it the way I move through everything: upright, standard intact, but aware of the weight. Nothing breaks my stride, only I break things that deserve to be remade, but nothing in these uncertain times holds significant comfort for me (currently).? ? What has saved me, genuinely, is the weather.? ? Spring arrived this week with the specific conviction of something that has been waiting a long time to make its point, and I have been stepping outside just to feel it, that clean particular warmth that does not yet carry the heaviness of summer, where the air still has a crispness underneath the heat and everything green looks almost aggressive in its newness. There is something about spring light in the late afternoon that I find quietly restorative in a way I cannot fully articulate. It simply helps. I will take it. The cherry blossoms at the Field Museum are in bloom, and it's an easy walk. Lake Michigan has also been a close held companion, and was still as glass on Thursday. You could scry on her water like a mirror, and the light filtered through the overcast sky as if fingers were reaching out to dip themselves. It felt greedy to take her in, but I am nothing if not hedonistic.? ? And then there was Artemis, splashing down with the kind of elegant finality that makes you remember the world is still capable of extraordinary things on the days it feels most ordinary. Something about watching that capsule meet the water, the culmination of that much human effort and precision and audacity, pulled me briefly out of my own difficult week and into something larger. I needed that more than I expected to. ? The bad days will pass. They always do. I remain steadfast. Someone recently appraised me when I talked about my resiliency : "As the stars stay lighting the sky".? ? For those of you following the story of the weight of three minutes, the continuation posts tomorrow evening. Come back rested.