him on 8/17/25 at 10:54 AM: Would you talk to older, retired submissive, man?   him  on 10/10/25 at 2:03 PM: I would love to be captured by you, trained as a slave, and sold into the slave market to a forceful dominant couple   Me on 10/10/25 at 2:07 PM: Thats nice. Id love to have applicants for my submission that were actually writing ME, the human, based on their reading my profile and writings and figuring out our potential c ompatibilities rather than randos who copy and paste messages to every pretty picture.   him on 10/10/25 at 2:09 PM: Im sorry maam, but that was direct nothing was copy and pasted. It was just one of my many fantasies to give up control, but that was an actual message not copy and paste.   him on 10/11/25 at 9:01 AM: You are very pretty and very powerful   him on 10/11/25 at 2:39 PM: God, you are beautiful   Me on 10/11/25 at 2:40 PM: Do I strike you as someone who is susceptible to flattery?   him on 10/11/25 at 2:44 PM: I only know that you are very attractive to submissive men   him on 10/11/25 at 2:51 PM: I sincerely apologize if I insulted you him on 2/6/26 at 10:43 AM: Would you be interested in dominating a older, white submissive, male wishing to be trained anyway, that you wish and to be your servant to be used abused, and even loaned out if that’s what you wish   Me on 2/6/26 at 1:28 PM: Here's the problem. You are so focused on what you want, that you have yet to bother to consider what *I* want. You have now written me EIGHT times, yet literally failed to the one one single thing I asked in the first fucking line of my fucking profile, even after I EXPLICITLY stated that's something I require. You know - the thing that tells you who I am, beyond just the "pretty" and "beautiful" picture you seem to obsessed with. You want to be "trained" and "dominated" but you have already shown yourself to be lazy, self-absorbed, and utterly unsuitable for anything I might want to use you for.  

Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.   Every man needs a good woman in his life. Even if she is just his friend. A good woman adds value to a mans life, no matter what capacity she serves.   

I wrote this as part of an introductory message to someone and think it was good enough to share here. "This is an alternative lifestyle to me There are several reasons, one is something that kind of bothered me at a young age I shoved thebad thoughts I had, I had even as a very young youth, thoughts that both horrified and fascinated meI used to justify my thoughts as not being cruel if what I did, I did to those who deserved it, like criminals etc What worried me was the sexuality I feltIt was much later in life, around 40 years ago I started putting it all together from a primal blueprint and social and religious pressure through to conditioning I was relieved to find a world I fitted, and its this world and learning to interact between the lifestyle and the vanilla world that I have been studying, learning, teaching and livingIts a strange world with so many dark and mysterious places."

My parents have accidentally almost killed my dog. Twice.  I had a small surgery yesterday and they are here to "help." Twice now they have put their stash of daily old people pills in places easily accessible to the puppy and the bags ended up in her mouth. Last night she chewed a hole in the bag and for sure ate a fish oil pill. It's questionable as to if she ate a piece of a beta blocker. Luckily I caught her before she could gobble up any others, and she seems to be alright. Holy shit though, that was close. The closing conversation went something like this: Me: Can you keep the bags on the counter where she can't reach them? Parent: I'll keep them in my pocket. Me: Can you keep them on the counter since we know she can't reach them? Parent: I'll keep them in my pocket. Me: Can you keep them on the counter?  Parent: Yes.  Me: *trying to keep my cool, not kick my parents out of my house early, monitoring my dog for signs of beta blocker consumption, oh, and fucking staying awake since I just took pain medicine* Some of us are not going to make it through the week if I don't stay hyper fucking vigilant. At this point in my life I'm okay with becoming an orphan if necessary.

So slightly better news.  99.9 percent of the people who get this cancer are either heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, or drug users, and have depressed immune symptoms.  Since I am none of those things, my chances of making it out of this alive is closer to 80 percent than 50.  I'll take it.  I go in for surgery next week.  They are cutting out a piece of the back of my tongue, a piece of the back of my throat, and going into the side of my neck and removing all the lymph nodes.  Fortunately, the surgical techniques have advanced a lot and they no longer have to take out all the bones and muscle in my neck along with it.  So I will have a scar on my neck, but won't be grossly disfigured.  I won't be able to eat solid food or talk for a few weeks, and it's still going to be horribly painful, but better than dying.  And hopefully, if they get it all, I won't need to follow up with chemo and radiation and it won't come back.  But this cancer does like to come back.  I will worry about that when it happens.  For now, I'm going to focus on getting through this and keep living my life as best I can.  Thanks to everyone who took the time to write me about their own survival stories, or to offer support.

I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 

Orlando continues to have a markedly high number of HIV diagnoses, much like Florida as a whole, and the area is struggling to get care for those who need it, according to newly released analyses of 2021 data. That year, 618 people in metro Orlando were diagnosed with the human immunodeficiency virus, which can cause AIDS, bringing the total number of HIV-diagnosed people in the metro area to 14,298. Florida— with 5,000 new cases each year over the last decade — has among the nation’s highest rates of new diagnoses and hasn’t seen much of a decline even as the U.S. saw an 8% decrease over the last 10 years. Orlando’s rate of HIV-positive residents is higher than Florida’s average and almost double the national average, according to data released Nov. 14 on Aidsvu.org, which visualizes HIV’s impact using data from state and city health departments compiled by researchers at the Emory University  Take care of yourself. Don't be a statistic

I again don't know why I am writing this, except for the fact it lets me get some thoughts on [digital] paper and prevent me from doing something else im *supposed* to be doing.    So in 7 days, Andrea should be getting dressed to go to a girls night out. That sentence should not be as scary as it feels now that I've said it.  I want to go out for the night as a woman. I know I am going to have my stockings and bodysuit under my jeans and sweatshirt, changing at an undisclosed location before the party. Probably going to pack my pumps but still am undecided on that. Choices. Choices cloud my brain. I know Andy is an awkward dirty old man who can enter most conversations. I dont know who Andi is. Does she lead with jokes? Does she put her hair up, or keep it down? Necklace? Earrings?    I want to do this but as the 168 hours start counting down, more and more mental stress starts to slip in. I dont know if i should pack some stockings to make my boobs look bigger, or if i should go as is?    How do you girls do this daily?

Thank you for reading And thank you for your time I promise not to waste yours I tend to value mine Poetry’s enticing Prose can add a spark Pretty sets of words betray what's in their author’s heart Art is also obfuscated fleeting and opaque Maybe not the ideal way to tell of what I'm made Doubtless you'll have questions those who enjoy this jest Feel free to message me and get them off your chest Keep in mind that I don't know you and that you don't yet own me We owe one another mutual courtesy  

We've gotten a few questions, people asking for more info about me dating the Trump supporter. We're still dating! When Kamala entered the race, I teased him a few times about losing to a woman and he'd always make it a point to tell me later (when I was tied up or bent over or otherwise had him inside me) that November wasn't going to change anything for me, that I'd still be fucking him on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, basically anytime he wanted. We don't get too into the details - he's not super politically engaged and it's actually kind of upsetting to think about the state of the country, and how rights are being taken away all the time, when I'm in a relatively privileged position and choosing to indulge in this kind of play. A few people asked how we met. We're in the same grad school program and he's always starting arguments about politics and "how come people don't just get a driver's license if they want to vote so bad", that kind of thing. I'd always jump in and push back, and he told me later that he liked getting me riled up. He said he liked seeing me flush and get upset and try to convince him of things when he didn't really care. We chatted a few times before classes and he'd be incredibly forward so he knew I was married, knew I wanted kids, made a few comments if I wore a choker or a fashion collar. After class one night, my car battery was dead so he came over and gave me a jump. We were the only ones left in the lot so while we were standing outside in the dark, he slid his hands in the back pockets of my jeans and pulled me against him. I instinctively reached back and he trapped my hands and held them behind my back while kissing me, jamming his tongue in my mouth. I blew him in his car and we made plans to go out that weekend. He's pretty rough and he loves being in charge. My husband will buy all sorts of bondage toys and I'll take them to the cop's apartment and that's where they stay. He keeps bondage straps on his mattress, has a spreader bar that he straps my hands and ankles to, has all of my favorite ball gags and blindfolds and plugs. He's also incredibly respectful, in his own way. He doesn't push limits we've discussed and I've gotten him to say things like "do you want me inside you?" which is as close to consent as he's interested in, but is still a huge deal. I let him take pictures of me tied up and naked as long as he obscures my face. I know men always show their friends and there's always the chance he revenge porns me if we break up, and he totally understood without arguing. He said he hears about that at work from teens and he knows it's a huge problem. Last story - he had me tied up recently, wrists and ankles on the spreader bar, gagged, a black hood over my entire head. Then his doorbell rang and he let in one of his buddies. We had discussed before that I was open to other men but I wasn't going to let them fuck me without protection. And here I was, ass up in the air, a stranger carassing me, unbuckling his belt. I started whimpering and wiggling my fingers. I was starting to make our safety signal when I heard him say "dude, condom, come on." I'm not going to say chivalry isn't dead but it made me feel good that he wasn't like "huh huh huh just fuck her in the ass huh huh huh." I gave them both a hell of a ride in gratitude. And to answer the most common question, no I'm not pregnant yet!

Shutting people out is confusing to me. It was one of the very first coping mechanisms I learned early in life, and it worked well. I used it often. Or, you know, all the time. By the time I learned it wasn't healthy it was too late. In the spirit of self-improvement I put effort into salvaging relationships when I could push past my initial reaction of shutting out, which wasn't often. Much more difficult for me and against every instinct I had. Those weren't always done in a healthy or whole way, either. Ignoring things instead of addressing them, having the other person react in the opposite way of what was expected. I struggled a lot with the what and the how. I still do. Only now, circling back to shutting people out, it's acceptable and encouraged in some instances. When the hell did that happen? How do you determine when it's the right move? After years of trying to undo the shutout it feels wrong. Right, but wrong. Like I've given up. Like I'm falling back on an isolating coping mechanism. Facts are facts and they may stack the deck for motive, but I can't help but feel like I'm the emotionally stunted person using her go-to move. I think about this a lot. Is it right? Or is it just easy? 

Bridget Choses Enslavement   Bridget’s emotions were running wild.  The ride up to Master’s gave her ample time to reflect on this special occasion.  Bridget was to be enslaved today.  Master had often told her that all women secretly wanted to be possessed and owned by a dominant master.  Collared.  Be an enslaved slut.  Bridget had embraced her inner slave and wanted the delicious certainty of being a strong Master’s owned property.  What a glorious feeling to have no need to carry on with the soul killing charade of denying her sexuality, her submission, her needs and desires. Bridget was so sure.  She couldn’t wait for their special ritual.  The ritual was ordered by her Master but she had made adjustments and additions that had delighted Master.  She knew Master treasured her and all of her. He often remarked on her intelligence and how it drove her kink and also drove his passion to be her owner.  Master always said women with a desire for the collar, for enslavement were usually the very intelligent ones.   Before she left home Bridget paid attention in the shower.  Her shaving was meticulous. Her legs, arms, and pussy were smooth as possible. She thrilled at the thought of the way Master would cup her smooth, oiled pussy and run his hand back and forth as she squirmed and moaned. She knew Master loved to lick and kiss her clit.  He also like to use his Hitachi and a soft makeup brush on her.  He’d alternate the vibrator and brush on her clit.  Sometimes he’d just stop and listen to her breathing.  Bridget loved it when he chained her wrists and ankles in his bed and made her come over and over until she screamed.  He’d gag and blindfold her and make her come some more. Master had learned early in their play to put a towel under her.  The wet spot was something to see. Bridget’s enslavement ritual outfit was all white and had been her idea.  Master had suggested adding long white gloves and she agreed with relish.  Once out of the shower, at Master’s direction, she installed two Ben Wa balls in her pussy.  They went in nicely.  When she walked around she could feel them as she moved.  She wondered if walking in heels would accentuate the sensation.  Oh well, she’d find out soon.  Bridget loved Master’s toy collection.  He had a veritable fleet of vibrators including a very useful remote controlled beauty.  Master said he was shopping for an internet controlled vibrator for some long distance fun.  He also had a selection of nipple clamps, some fun and some she feared.  There was a lot more and she was sure the list was growing After carefully pulling on her white stockings and attaching them to her sexy garter she slipped on her skimpy white panties.  A curvy white push up bra completed her underwear.  She had a nice white blouse with a plunging neckline that accentuated her cleavage. Her brief white skirt would expose her slim legs and white stockings.  Finally she slipped on her white high heels with thosecute sexy little ankle straps.  Naturally she added accessories like a string of pearls and a bright red lipstick.  She decided she’d add her fragrance and put on the white gloves when she arrived at Masters. The miles rolled by.  Her heart sang.  She had made her decision.  It felt so right.  All the things she wanted to experience would be hers in a safe and protected place.  Master would help to explore all the dark kinky places she dreamed about.   The highway intersection appeared on her GPS. She had to turn north.   It was time to call Master.  She heard the phone ring.  Her emotions ping ponged.  Master answered with a pleased voice.  She was close.  He could almost sense her.  They both reveled in the joy of anticipation.     Master remarked that he was looking forward to draping her with his new 1/8” stainless steel chain.  Perhaps chaining her breasts with a nice halter.  When he mentioned that he’d like to chain her in Sirik Bridget’s was incredibly turned on.  The thought of the chain running from her collar to the chained wrist manacles and finally ending on the ankle manacles.  Sirik chain bondage allowed movement but served to remind her that she was owned, protected property.  Master loved everything Gorean and spent a lot of time finding ways to practically adapt the mores of Gor to earth.  A significant Gorean notion is that bondage enhances a woman’s beauty.  Bridget agreed but also concluded bondage made her horny as hell. The rural setting, the trees, the quiet appealed to her.  Here’s the driveway.  Turning right and pulling up the long driveway she found herself next to Master’s car and she knew, the beginning of her life changing event was close at hand.  She put her car in park and applied the parkingbreak.  She felt that she also applied a break on her normal, vanilla life.  She would enter the BDSM Sea.  Enter it as one of the more exotic and nuanced denizens.  She would be a slave girl, specifically a Kajira, a Gorean slave.  Bridget and Master had discussed many aspects of enslavement, slave protocols, sexual ownership, and what they each wanted.  She agreed with Master that after all, it was at its heart, an exotic adult game.  They both knew few could play the game, few could accept their role, and few could adhere to the rules and enjoy them with intense satisfaction.  Bridget loved her role and while their private play was so satisfying, she looked forward to their forays into various forms of public play.  Public Play involved exposing part of her BDSM life to the vanilla world.  Bridget always found it surprising.  She couldn’t believe the naughty sense of excitement she felt when she was exposed.  Was it humiliation, she wasn’t sure but it was very kinky indeed. She applied the bright red lipstick.  She loved the color and loved that her Master had told her he loved bright paint on her lips.  He said she was so attractive and luscious and he wanted her lips prominently displayed for him.  Next her fragrance, chosen because it was both understated and exotic.  At last she pulled on the long white gloves that came up to her elbows. Bridget and Master had discussed how she’d wear the long white gloves and he’d hogtie her and use his ball gag.  The picture in her mind of the helpless position always made her wet and horny.  Master had done this before.  Usually he rubbed a rabbit fur all over her body before he pulled her hair and squeezed her tit while he told her how he felt, what he wanted, and what he’d do with her next. As she turned toward the house she found the garage door open and as she had been instructed, she entered the garage and went to the back door leading into Master’s Rec room.  The lighting was subdued but she saw two large shapes draped in thin cloth.  She knew these were their BDSM toys.  Master had built a large cage for her amusement and a sturdy St Andrews cross that would fulfill her desire to be suspended and held helpless. Master had promised to cuff and chain her to the cross.  She knew she’d be naked and looked forward to the way master slipped a gag into her mouth before he applied something to her ass. Usually he forced a silicone bit gag into her mouth before he used his snake whip on her.  She could bite down on the bit and scream at the same time for the serious relief she craved.  Master had assured her she’d receive a serious whipping and perhaps caning that would leave some minor marks.  She wanted the marks.  She wanted to feel his touch afterward.  She wanted all of the things that ownership demanded. She knew Master had plans for an interesting combination Stocks and Spanking Bench.  Bridget had told Master she’d love to be placed in stocks and have her ass molested, pinched, bit, and butt plugged. She wondered if he’d make good on his promise to administer an enema while in the stocks.  Master had a lot of toys and equipment.  He had showed her the enema paraphernalia and it included an interesting flow meter that Master said was important to ensure reasonable flow and comfort.    Climbing the stairs she heard Master’s voice and it made her heart skip a beat.  She loved the way he spoke to her.  He didn’t speak at her rather he spoke with her, sharing his thoughts and sometimes emotions.  Master was sitting in a large black leather chair.  He was wearing his black suit with a black mandarin shirt and a nice red pocket square.  He leaned forward and motioned for her to come up.  He wondered about her trip and if the Ben Wa balls were still in place and how she liked them.  She told him about her journey and, yes, the Ben Wa twins were still in place and had directed her attention at the oddest of times, like stepping on the brakes. He asked her if she was ready, if she wanted to go through with their plans.  Did she really want all the things they had planned for, had discussed.  She knew what he was asking, giving her a graceful out.  Her mind was made up but his trust and care made her even more convinced that she wanted enslavement, wanted slavery, wanted to be an owned woman, Master’s property.  All of their discussions had led to this decision.  They both saw a Master/slave relationship as the purest and incidentally most fun form of a BDSM power exchange.  Both of their roles had been defined in term that made sense to both Bridget answered him by unbuckling her shoe clasps and removing her heels.  Pulling the ribbon from her hair she let it fall loose about her shoulders.  Bridget smiled at her Master and began removing all her clothing.  Finally she stood before her Master totally naked.  Master seemed very pleased. He rose and ran his fingers gently all over Bridget.  Master believed that a Gorean Master took great pride in his Kajira, his slave and should be familiar with every inch of her. Bridget knew that her actually collaring demanded that she be naked. She knelt gracefully before him, raised her arms over her head and crossed her wrists.  Bridget had assumed the Kolar or collar position of a Kajira, a Gorean slave.  She knew the message she was sending was that she was ready to be bound and collared.  Naturally she looked down and waited for Master.  The decision was not only made but by showing her acceptance of their planned bond to her Master she knew it was done.  How happy, how fulfilled.  She almost wanted to cry the emotions were so strong. Her life as a Kajira, a Gorean slave was about to begin.  See accepted that she must always be pleasing and offer perfect obedience. Master formally asked her why she was before him and what were her deepest desires for enslavement.  She continued to look down and at first her voice was a whisper but as she gained confidence she became secure and spoke with a clear steady voice.  She asked to be enslaved.  She pledged to serve Master in all ways.  She would be pleasing at all times with perfect obedience.  She would be the owned possession of Master, subject to his commands, dressing as he directed.  She spoke the words of enslavement, “bind me master”. She spoke the timeless pledge saying she wished to be enslaved and then crossing her wrists in front of her asked that Master bind her.  She felt the ceremonial tying of her wrists with the traditional Gorean yellow bindings.  Master then said he would complete the ceremony, their enslavement ritual, by collaring her.  She felt the collar begin to encircle her throat.  She gasped as he pulled her hair back so he could buckle the collar.  Her formal slave collar was polished metal and had a screw driven locking mechanism.  It would be difficult or next to impossible to remove, not that Bridget would ever think about removing the symbol that encircled her throat.  Master completed fastening her collar.  He took her chin in his hand and remarked on her beauty and suitability to be his Kajira. Master removed the bindings from her wrists and ordered her to stand and had her turn around slowly to display herself. She looked at herself and saw the beautiful collar.  All she could say was “La Kajira, La Kajira”, Gorean for I am a slave. Bridget now understood in a most intimate way that her master treasured her and wanted to enjoy his treasure.  Master had two more things to complete the ritual and the first had Bridget very nervous.  Bridget knew she was to be branded.  Thankfully the branding didn’t call for a real white hot branding iron.  Bridget received a henna dye print representation of the Gorean Kef, a very delicate elaborately beautiful “K”, leaving a sharp red image high on her left thigh.  Next Master spoke her new slave name. When Bridget and Master were together in their new roles, she would be “Sefa”.  Master explained that her new slave name was pronounced SEHF-ah and meant pleasure.  He said she was named that way to remind her how she must always be his pleasure slave.  She didn’t think that would ever be a problem. It was done. Bridget had been collared, branded, and named.   Master said he accepted her as his Kajira.  Master directed her to put on her garter, stockings, panties, and heels.  He snapped a leash onto her collar ring and said “bracelets”.  Bridget immediately put her wrists behind her back, slightly bowed her head, and turned around to receive Master’s manacles. Using the leash and her bound wrists he moved her forward.  Master led her around a bit and then out around the deck. Master often told her that bondage made a woman more beautiful and that served to make her move in a sensuous, elegant manner.  Bridget agreed and could think of nothing better than to be on her knees with her Master’s cock in her mouth. He took her over to a chair by the deck table.  He motioned for her to kneel.  He unclipped the leash and attached a short piece of chain to her collar.  The chain was connected to a d-ring embedded in one of the large deck posts.  Bridget was chained to a post with her wrists bound.  Never before had she felt so at peace.  She was owned.  She had been confined on her Master’s deck.  She felt the chain on her chest.  Bridget’s excitement was mixed with embarrassment and humiliation.  She was on her knees dressed like a tarty slut, out in the open for all the world to see.  She realized that Master was exhibiting her as his prize possession.  Of course she thought, it’s highly unlikely we’ll be disturbed.  We’re out in the woods on a secluded property with foliage all around.  Master laughed and said UPS or FEDEX might show up. Bridget’s life as a slave had begun.  She wished and waited for what was next.  Master said she was to be caged in his slave pen after they had discussed their enslavement ritual.  Master took a plate of fruit and picked up a small piece of melon.  He held it out for her to nibble. She daintily nibbled the fruit.  She was being fed by Master’s hand.  She felt a deep bond and happiness.  Next Master poured some of his cool drink into a small bowel.  He placed it before her and motioned for her to drink.  He was watering his slave, caring for his prize possession.  She knelt before the bowel and lapped at the drink. She felt so humiliated to be made to drink in this fashion but it also was so deliciously kinky.   Her journey had begun.  Life would never be the same.  A calmness, a fullness, a richness had descended on her soul.  Master caressed her cheek and breasts and then checked the manacles.  He also adjusted her collar.  Bridget knew master would always make sure she looked her best.  She was his prize possession. Master leaned back and took a small velvet sack from the side table.  “Nadu” Master commanded and Bridget went into the slave position that had her kneeling with her wrists behind her back. Bridget was fascinated  She knelt with her thighs spread wide, back arched, wrists crossed behind her back.  Master produced a bright red ball gag and told her to open her mouth. Bridget felt the ball pressed tightly into her mouth as Master firmly buckled the gag in place.  She found her hands bound behind her back, and the ball gag reduced her to small whimpers to communicate.  She knew she was vulnerable and totally in the control of her master.  It was delicious.  It made her wet just to think of all the things he would do with her.  The bracelets were gleaming metal and had a short length of chain between them so they were relatively comfortable. Master helped Bridget to stand.  He pulled her panties down to her ankles and helped her bend over. He guided her to lay across his lap and began to stroke and kneed her ass cheeks.  Master remarked that she had a pleasingly plump ass that just begged to be spanked.  Bridget felt her Master applying some kind of oil on her ass cheeks.  She wiggled across his lap into a more comfortable position. It made her feel exposed, controlled, at her Master’s mercy.  Bridget couldn’t believe how excited she felt, how she wanted more, more attention, more control. Master told Bridget that he wanted to assert his ownership, make sure she knew she was his property.  Bridget whimpered her assent. She wanted to be his,begged her master to have her, to make her his own, anyway he wanted.  Just do it now. Master began a slow rhythmic paddling of Bridget’s ass.  Slowly at first but soon faster and harder.  Bridget moaned and gasped. Master paused and asked Bridget if she was his, his property. Bridget thought “yes, yes, yes, have me, have all of me.  I am your Kajira and want to be nothing else”.  Master held up one finger which was the signal for silence Bridget was surprised that Master had shut her up, to be quiet.  She understood that he wanted to be in control.  He told her he felt so completed by their rituals.   Master loved the idea that they had built their own kinky world and Bridget loved the way he ruled it. He could silence her with a command or perhaps a gag.  She loved the delicious excitement when he placed a nice red silicone ball gag in her mouth.  Naturally Master could silence her by imposing speech restrictions and she always complied but the ball gag was so hot. Master reached behind her to the small table by his large leather chair.  Bridget felt his movement and turned her head.  “Oh my” she thought as Master’s hand held the red ball gag, a shiny bright metal butt plug, and a tube of lubrication.  Her heart beat faster as she realized she was in for another anal training session.  

Well, let me kick off this writing to you with this first document This one and all others may use words and describe parts of life and relationships that the uninterested my find offensive I also may often you the word you or another pronoun that has the same meaning I am writing to your mind to read and understand me and give me significant feedback so I understand you as well Because I am writing this more or less on the fly, the thoughts may be laid out a bit more scattered than a book, but too bad I am writing to the submissive deep in your mind and being, the slave or the masochist that needs and desires and wants and needs more So hang in there You must have a very strong mind which is determined to learn things most just ignore Let me touch on some emotions as the physical, mental and emotional state of life is so deep into all this Most people are basically insecure That is why research has shown that up to 98 percent of people are very satisfied being followers and letting others take the responsibility of decision making and leadership The mentality of a person that advocates she is a slave is right there She looks first of all for safety and security and close behind that is the need to feel wanted, to be needed, to be of value In return for that emotional reassurance she is very willing to do almost anything to please another because that is the one great thing she has the power to do Being bound tight she nearly always tests the bondage to see if she can get away It is important to her that she cannot because it has an emotional meaning that someone took the extra time to insure that grip on her and it carries the meaning that she is wanted Almost any of strict control, humiliation and abuse is far better than being alone and unwanted It does not need the complications of sex or to say someone loves you or that they would never want someone else one day far off At that moment it is a simple fact they want you and that is what starts your life living As you step into it deeper, being blindfolded or hooded restricting eyesight calms you in very deep ways Its that other one is taking responsibility for you and your needs and most of all your safety You will want to feel it, and reach out for the one controlling you that way Being locked in a cage has at least a double meaning emotionally You are restrained and kept and thus very limited in what you can do without someone wanting you to do it by letting you out But there is also that gate and lock between you and the world, which can be seen as keeping all the evil things that chase you real or imagined out where they can not reach you A strict cage not only is like your prison, but also like your base or your fortress where again you are safe, where you can indeed relax and sleep And that collar Like a wedding ring, it means so much to a submissive slave She has made it and her ownership and that desire to take her is on display for all to see When you can, you finger it and hold it and fidget with it, and know it is there for a real purpose But to have all this requires that someone really does want you, be it for the better or the worst, that want and desire is real and gives you a place and purpose in life And with that, you are never really alone In time, you may feel frighten or scared or even cry when it is taken off when for a short time Even deeper is the matter of control, and how it reaches into your personal thoughts and life and gives you something to live up to and meet in a consistent way Both pain and pleasure are emotions first and are often never tended well in everyday life In a stricter life, so much fluff and useless energy is removed or not allowed and something special happens You can focus You can see more clearly yourself and all you need to be as well as all you want to be Yes, it takes time and training and understanding to know the reason why you feel that the slave in you must submit and submit deeply and unendingly Those emotions of need and want are so different and so rarely understood You can want this feeling to be like a beautiful ring to wear, and you want it a lot but you can eat and drink and breathe without it everyday of your life A need is like the air that you breathe and that need is so powerful that a few minutes, without it you are dead A slave grows up wanting things, but at the same time she grows up needing things Control and submission show the path of making the needs a reality You learn to focus on those things in life that are needs and those that are wants when all the fluff is removed and those distractions to your emotional thought process are removed I am a writer, and a scientist and I can go on and on about this, and do so in the face of all those that just want their experience to be sex with a little rope The true slave and the true owner learn that there really is so much more to this life

LongTerm Chastity The waves of denial come and go.There are days when i forget that i am locked up, then a wave of reality hits and the feeling of helplessness and inferiority pound on my psyche.The need to be teased, aroused and denied as others enjoy their sexual freedoms intensifies..i started this journey out of curiosity and now i am overwhelmed with the need to be locked.i have gone back to my original device. It is open and i can keep myself clean without removing it.i am wondering if i should forgo any shaving, thus eliminating any reason for the occasional unlocking.Thoughts of making this permanent and irreversible have entered my mind. It would be easy enough to do: Hex button Stainless Steel screw, a tap, Locktite 266. (Don't forget to round out the Hex hole with a f=drill bit after it is tightly in place, to render the Hex key useless.) .Yes, the thought has crossed my mind..........a few times..

Ok, here goes another journal entry, another step down this path… As always, I am subMeghan, and as required, as I type this this, I am completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses… First things first. My Dom got a new toy for me.  It’s called a “cheek retractor dental mouth gag”.  Here’s a link to what they are: https://www.extremerestraints.com/cheek-retractor-dental-mouth-gag.html We’ve been trying it out this weekend and so far we are both really liking it…  a lot!  My Dom just loves, loves, loves how I look when I wear it.  I knew right away that he’d like it from the perspective of fucking my mouth, but he also is obsessed with me just wearing it. In fact I am wearing it right now as I type.  In fact, I’ve been wearing it around the house most of the weekend.  As far as gags go, all in all, it’s really comfortable.  Compared to some other types of gags, breathing is not an issue at all.  Drooling of course is unavoidable. And yes, I’ve got drool all over my chest. (My Dom loves to see me drool.)  I just need to make sure I don’t drool on the keyboard. lol This has all been part of a puppygirl weekend, which is something we do from time to time.  In a nutshell, I spend the entire weekend as a nude puppygirl, doing any number of puppygirl activities.  I get off on it which only makes the sex all the better. (Perhaps I’ll elaborate of that in a future journal entry.) Enunciating while trying to talk while wearing this gag is extremely difficult.  So I haven’t been saying much this weekend.  However, I can still make barking-like noises.  Lol  You literally cannot say “woof” or “bark” while wearing this gag.  I ended up going with an “arf” like noise... We ended the session about an hour ago and now I’m human again.  This will give me enough time to take care of all the weekend chores around the house. That’s about it for now.  I’ve got chores to do.  So, this is naked, drooling subMeghan signing off. Until next time... 

 The power and vibration of a Harley reminds me of my time driving a train. When I would start a "big jack" as we called it, the power of that engine engulfed me. To know I controled all that power was a feeling that took some adjusting to.  I cannot know what the power feels like driving a Harley or anykind of bike for that matter. But I do know the feeling on the back of a bike. The freedom, the wind blowing in my hair. My legs pressed against his legs, my arms around his waist, and my tits pressed against his back. Quite a intimate experience no doubt.     It always amazed me that the bikers would always wave at the trains. This was a universal thing from Az, NM, Colorado,the Black Hills of South Dakota,Wyoming, the midwest of Iowa and even to Minnesota, most of the places I worked in my carreer. Most times they wanted to hear the horn blow to. Just like those of us who want semis to blow their horns going down the road.  I went full out of my comfort zone a few weeks ago and asked a vanilla guy at the gym for a ride on his Harley. It was a Friday. He acted like he was excited by my actions.We exchanged numbers and later that day he asked me where I would want to take a ride to. We agreeded on Tombstone, for the upcoming Wednesday. On Saturday morning I sent a text to him hoping his day was going good. He responded, and so did I. And that was it. I never heard from him again. Naturally he has also avoided being at the gym. And in general just made me disappointed in another vanilla male.   It doesen't stop my craving though. To be on the back of a bike again going down the road! Maybe one day it will happen again...          

This was my reply to a post on fet.  I thought it might be informative    Past time for a cleaning is generally not a problem imho. Although, I suppose that depends how far past. Maybe it takes a few visits then regular maintenance. If I may, you should provide the lock without a key when you do the furst meet and greet some time before the first cleaning. It should always be you who unlocks the lock and keeps the key. He can go away with the unlocked lock if that is what you choose and lock himself back up some time before the next visit.That sounds like a wonderful arrangement to me.

We now have our male slave we have completed training him so we now have the time to find one more female slave. We are considering have some part time subs all genders welcome to apply. For the part time position reply and answer the following questions   1. What day(s) can you you serve?   2. Are you local to the DFW area? If not can you reguarly make the trip to serve us?   3. What skills could you bring to us for service?   4. What are your kinks? Masocists to the front of the line.   5. What are you expecting out of this? Since this is a part time mainly playtime arrangement do not be afraid to tell us what you hope to get out of it.        We wiil not have any type of sexual contact with part time subs sorry but we have two slaves and since they serve 24/7 that is the one advantage they have over part time subs.   We are not looking to micro manage a part time subs life away from our house. However, part time subs will be required to follow house rules during visits and will not be treated differently than slaves in this regard.    We do expect part time subs to be present when they say they will be here. Life happens so yes sometimes you may have to cancel but if it becomes a reguar thing you will be released.        We will begin the part time sessions in January but you should begin to apply now.   

Small Mercies, Longer Days ? It has been one of those stretches where the days stack up against you before you have had a chance to argue with the first one. Nothing catastrophic, nothing worth dramatizing, just the particular grind of too much friction in too many directions at once, the kind of week that does not make good copy but costs you something anyway. A significant loss in the family that required me to help plan funerary rites, and restructuring at work that threatens my position.?I have been moving through it the way I move through everything: upright, standard intact, but aware of the weight. Nothing breaks my stride, only I break things that deserve to be remade, but nothing in these uncertain times holds significant comfort for me (currently).? ? What has saved me, genuinely, is the weather.? ? Spring arrived this week with the specific conviction of something that has been waiting a long time to make its point, and I have been stepping outside just to feel it, that clean particular warmth that does not yet carry the heaviness of summer, where the air still has a crispness underneath the heat and everything green looks almost aggressive in its newness. There is something about spring light in the late afternoon that I find quietly restorative in a way I cannot fully articulate. It simply helps. I will take it. The cherry blossoms at the Field Museum are in bloom, and it's an easy walk. Lake Michigan has also been a close held companion, and was still as glass on Thursday. You could scry on her water like a mirror, and the light filtered through the overcast sky as if fingers were reaching out to dip themselves. It felt greedy to take her in, but I am nothing if not hedonistic.? ? And then there was Artemis, splashing down with the kind of elegant finality that makes you remember the world is still capable of extraordinary things on the days it feels most ordinary. Something about watching that capsule meet the water, the culmination of that much human effort and precision and audacity, pulled me briefly out of my own difficult week and into something larger. I needed that more than I expected to. ? The bad days will pass. They always do. I remain steadfast. Someone recently appraised me when I talked about my resiliency : "As the stars stay lighting the sky".? ? For those of you following the story of the weight of three minutes, the continuation posts tomorrow evening. Come back rested.

I am having a fun break until 2th January then back to manuscript editing. 4th January I reintroduce keto and steps, later back to yoga. I can't wait to get supple and increase my stamina again. February I will back weight training,  I have all sorts of free weight dumbells in my home so I can concentrate on reps before form to rebuild what went last year. No suitable driving submissives, as all that applied were newbie bottoms, when it's two years experience in BDSM, FLR and driving/having a car I want. I miss the web site Servants4U for that site had plenty of respectful gentleman submissive guys with at least five years experience. But many left the community once covid hit and haven't returned. What a pity. Today I am off to the nail salon so new pics of my nails will likely be on Fetlife.com for those who enjoy a Lady with carefully manicured nails. What a New Year 2024 is in store! Make it a fun one now!!

I'm irritated by the idiocy of some of these "subs" I'll meet you at a Starbucks and if I don't invite you home immediately thereafter you'll pull a typical fake sub move and not follow up. Most don't have the patience and respect to meet properly. To get vetted properly. Most think anybody declaring themselves a "sub" should be privy to my home immediately. No thought towards common sense or my safety?? I get these offers 5 times a week. Imagine if I gave my home address out that many times a week? I'd be murdered in less than a month by some fake predator. Or at the very least robbed and when you report something like that to police and say "I met him online" Boy how stupid do you look? Perhaps these idiots think I'm in a palace surrounded by gaurds? How much online porn must you watch before you actually think there's any likelihood that any of us REAL ladies are surfing for boys from within a palace. THAT lady isn't on collarspace, she has a caretaker whose job it is to find sub's. Out here in the real world a REAL domme works her 9-5 and expects her sub to do the same. To be sane. To be intelligent and productive within society. To be a regular guy and a sexy "trophy husband".

When you message me and live in another state, you should plan to attend a munch that I am attending in California. I require a face-to-face meeting sooner rather than later. You need to make the trip out to me if you are serious about serving me. There are no guarantees, but a meeting needs to happen sooner rather than later. My rule is not negotiable.  I have the same meeting sooner rather than later requirement for the men who live around me or in the state. The question I am considering is, Do I want to have dinner with you? Do I consider you worthy of my time while enjoying a meal? (Seinfeld: When Elaine was deciding if suitors were sponge-worthy—We all have a thing.)    If you aspire to be my submissive, you will have a job and be able to provide for yourself, a car to transport yourself in, and a home to live in and commute to my home to serve as needed. 

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION  My Thoughts Sir Hugo Atlanta In Real Estate, there is a saying  Location, Location,   Limiting your Dom Sub SEARCH to folks in your city or state  makes verification and meetup so much easier. THE REALITY IS  A Potential dom / sub/ Partner who lives more than 30 miles away is WASTING YOUR EFFORTS. In my experience, THE BEST PLACE to meet potential partners is at a local munch.Google Search          BDSM Munchs in ATLANTA, GA  ( Enter your CITY, STATE ) or use               FindaMunch.com THE REALITY IS those who go to munchs want to meet you and play with you, NOT WASTE YOUR TIME SEXTING.   Your mileage may vary.    (   THAT WAS A JOKE- Doms can be light hearted - ) My Thoughts    Sir Hugo Atlanta PS  Kudos CollarSpace Management for having a Chatroom as part of the website.

My Experience/Play History i have engaged in casual play with 4 mistresses, one session each. Two had no idea what they were doing, and couldn't seem to decide what to do next. Those experiences were deeply unsatisfying. The third apparently had no interest in anything but beating me, which She did with brisk enyed it, but there was nothing else. No training, no rules, no laying the groundwork, no teasing, no nothing. The last was skilled, had a very commanding presence, and went about Her work with energy and direction. Even though it was a brief session, it was quite thrilling. Unfortunately, however, She was all but impossible to communicate with regarding expectations and scheduling and suchlike, and after two weeks of trying to get together again, i gave up. i often regret this. en regret this.   0 loves

There are parts of a person that don’t begin at the moment two people meet. They begin long before, in the quiet places where experience shapes us and then gets sealed away. Long before I met her, I had lived through something that awakened a deep part of me — a capacity for intensity, recognition, and emotional clarity that rarely finds a home. And she had lived through her own version of that. For different reasons, both of us buried that part of ourselves. She buried hers out of fear - fear of instability, fear of loss, fear of needing someone, fear of being seen too clearly. I buried mine out of discipline - a deliberate containment, a way of protecting others from the full force of what I feel and protecting myself from offering it where it cannot be held. Different histories, different wounds, same instinct: suppress what once burned too brightly When we met, that buried part in both of us stirred. Not because we created something new, but because we recognised something familiar. The connection wasn’t imagined. It wasn’t accidental. It was the reawakening of something each of us had sealed away. In the moments when she felt safe, she softened, revealing warmth, intuition, and depth she rarely allowed to surface. And in response, I became the version of myself that feels most grounded, steady, and alive. I understood the sandcastle she lived in. I saw her protective walls. Not as flaws, but as architecture - structures and anchors that kept her upright when life gave her no stability. I understood why trusting one person felt like stepping into open air. I understood why she stayed in the present, why she avoided looking ahead, why she protected herself even from what she wanted. I saw the logic in it. I saw the cost of it too. It is heartbreaking to see how someone can be hurt so deeply, so repeatedly, that they retreat into a world made of compartments. A world where adult emotional connection feels dangerous, where closeness carries the risk of being wounded again. And so she anchored herself to the one place that felt safe: the innocence of a child who had never betrayed her. The child of the man who had most recently broken her trust became, in a way, the last untouched corner of her emotional world. Maybe she saw a younger version of herself there. Maybe she stayed close to that child because it allowed her to protect something pure in a way no one ever protected her. Whatever the reason, it is unbearably sad that the safest place she could find was one that existed outside the realm of adult connection entirely. I understood how it was easier to feel when it was transactional, triggered by someone else and emotionally outside her control. What I felt for her was not fantasy. It was recognition. I cared for her deeply, and I would have treasured her - not by holding her tightly, but by creating a space where she could breathe without fear, where the sparks I glimpsed in her unguarded moments could grow into something steady. I never wanted to reshape her. I wanted to offer a place where she could rest without bracing for impact. It hurt that she couldn't understand my deep need to care; that she could and did give herself to another physically, to a sadist, when she couldn't accept my care or give herself physically to me. And I never believed it would be easy or instantaneous. I knew that being together would require patience, courage, and the slow dismantling of old defences. I knew it would demand effort from both of us. But the difficulty didn’t deter me - it clarified me. It strengthened my resolve. It deepened my desire to care, not out of saviourhood or fantasy, but because I saw what was possible if she ever chose to step toward it. But the truth is simple: the part of her that woke up when we met is the same part she has spent years learning to silence. Stepping toward what she felt would have required dismantling the very defences that keep her functioning. She retreated not because she felt nothing, but because she felt too much. I stepped toward it because I was ready. That difference is the whole story. So I release this into the ether - not to change her, not to call her back, not to craft something optimised for her reception or softened for her comfort. I have written carefully, yes, but this is not for her. This is for me. This is where I place the truth so I no longer have to carry it alone. We both knew. We both felt it. We both buried it for our own reasons. Meeting each other unlocked it again. She ran from it. I stepped toward it. And now I name it so it no longer lives unspoken. Whatever she chooses, whatever she fears, whatever she cannot yet face, I hold no anger. Only the quiet truth of what was possible, and the peace that comes from finally giving these words a place to live outside my own mind.

Long weekends are the worst.  So much time…alone.  I fear I don't do so well left to my own devices once the chores are done.  Last Memorial day weekend I had resolved to take a bit of a break from all of...this.  No stories.  No shaving my body.  No practicing submissive postures.  Focus on the real, stop endlessly daydreaming of submission.   It's been the entire summer now.  I don't feel any better.  I've not suddenly found a partner in life.  I've not been any more or less productive than before.  In fact, today, I'm about out of my mind.  My natural body hair has returned and somehow it makes me feel….dirty.  I miss the way clothing felt against my skin.  I miss the ritual of shaving everything.  Of imagining I was doing it for my Owner.  Of taking some action in the real world that confirmed my nature and my deepest desires.   Will I always be this…stuck?  This alone?  Is there any hope that, one day, I might find someone who will want me for everything I am?  Who can accept this terrible and inescapable desire to kneel?  To be used?

Here is something I wrote a long time ago for a web site called RLSlavery ( That no longer exists) Why is It So Hard to Find True M/s Poly Members? In the world of BDSM and kink, finding like-minded individuals can be a challenge. Many people are looking for a specific type of relationship, such as a Master/slave (M/s) dynamic with a polyamorous twist. But why is it so hard to find true M/s poly members? In this article, we'll explore some of the reasons why finding genuine M/s poly partners can be difficult, as well as offer some tips for those who are searching. The Stigma of BDSM First and foremost, the stigma surrounding BDSM and kink can make it difficult for people to openly express their desires and find partners who share those desires. BDSM has long been associated with deviant behavior and taboo practices, and many people still view it as something shameful or perverse. This stigma can make it challenging for people who are interested in BDSM to find partners who are open to exploring this lifestyle with them. Even within the kink community, people may be hesitant to openly discuss their desires, which can make it difficult to find like-minded individuals. Limited Pool of Potential Partners Even within the BDSM and kink community, the pool of potential partners who are interested in a specific type of relationship, such as M/s poly, can be quite limited. While there are certainly many individuals who are interested in kink and BDSM, not everyone is interested in exploring the same dynamics or relationship structures. As a result, finding someone who is interested in the same type of relationship as you can be a challenge. This is particularly true for those who are interested in less common or niche dynamics, such as M/s poly. Lack of Clear Communication Another reason why finding true M/s poly members can be difficult is the lack of clear communication between potential partners. When exploring a BDSM or kink relationship, it's important to have open and honest communication about desires, boundaries, and expectations. Unfortunately, many people are not skilled at communicating their needs and desires effectively. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and relationship breakdowns. Without clear communication, it can be difficult to establish the kind of trust and intimacy necessary for a successful M/s poly dynamic. Fear of Rejection For many people, the fear of rejection is a significant barrier to finding a suitable partner. This is particularly true for those who are interested in niche or less common relationship dynamics, as they may worry that they will be unable to find someone who shares their interests. This fear of rejection can lead some people to avoid seeking out potential partners altogether, which can make it even harder to find a compatible match. It's important to remember that rejection is a natural part of the dating process, and that it's okay to put yourself out there and take a chance. Tips for Finding True M/s Poly Members While finding genuine M/s poly partners can be a challenge, there are some things you can do to increase your chances of success. Here are a few tips to keep in mind: Be Open and Honest: When seeking out potential partners, it's important to be open and honest about your desires and expectations. This can help weed out individuals who are not interested in the same type of dynamic, and increase your chances of finding a compatible match. Attend Kink Events: Attending local kink events and meetups can be a great way to connect with like-minded individuals in your area. These events offer a safe and supportive space to explore your desires, and can be a great way to meet potential partners.   MasterG

Hiya cissys and male pigs!!!   2013 has had a very good start for ME, so good that I have decided to DISMISS 5 of MY stable of devoted cissy slaves, I shall shortlist 7 from my stable and let them compete against each other to see which 2 can stay with my other bitches!   This allows ME to seek out other devoted hopefuls and select 2 or 3 of them to Worship and Serve ME, The Miss Davinia Jade, Arrogant TV Superbitch, Superior and Demanding of YOU<<<<   mmmm I WILL enjoy the selection process, interrogating and then shaping them to MY way of thinking until they finally become MY cissified pansy slaves, begging to serve ME!!! hahahaha

16/06/2024   Pigs, Rats, Useless Pathetic male vermin! loosers,  When will u ever learn?  When u write to this UK Dominant Mistress SuperBITCH keep in mind.... YOU ARE NOT A FRIEND<> U mean NOTHING to HER, what would SHE want with a useless and pathetic bitch like u???  SO...... your only hope to get your Mistress and SHE of your wet dreams interested in you is to write a begging mail and in it Mistress wants to see, NO, DEMANDS to see, a show of submission and surrender to her, so get your grubby hands off of your useless little cocks (which Mistress will soon have locked up and you WILL surrender the keys to HER) and write a nice begging mail and hope that SHE WHO WILL BE OBEYED finds an interest in you. Helpful hint from Mistress Davinia, SuperBITCH!....  only 1 in 14 applicants get through this first faze of HER Strict Training Programme, and Mistress receives about 20-30 applicants per week!!

We have selected one male to do the trial period next weekend which is May 13th - 15th we have notified him and he has agreed to to do the trial period. This does not mean we will accept him he must be compatible with us and once he is here we will be able to see if he is all talk or can acutally walk the walk. If we do accdpt him we will put another journal entry so you all know the postion is taken. What does that mean for you now if you have been going through the process?  It means you did not get the first chance at the trial period it does not mean you will not get the chance. He might not even show up. If he does he may not meet our expectations so sound off and let us know you are still hoping for a chance. If you messaged us and we have not began the process with you we will not even begin with you until we go through the many applicants that have began the process.    We are till looking for one female slave so if you are a female slave that is interested let us know if you are one that we are currently considering know that this does not affect your chance.   What was the reason that we chose him over the many other candidates. Frankly for the most part many of you that we did not choose were close in the running but this guy was the only one out of more than twenty guys who does not claim he works from home. We are not against that but we find it hard to belive that 95% of our male applicants work from home. For those of you that was not bullshitting us understand that we do not know who is and who is not. So we chose the one who has a job at a warehouse.    If he does not work out we will have to try one that claims to work from home and see where it goes. My sister in law legitimately works from home and has for many years so we know it it is possible but since so many claim to it just seems like some of you are bullshitters and we cannot figure who.   If you stay interested keep your eye out for the follow up entry to this to see if the position acually closed.   Otherwise good luck in your search. 

why do people play these stupid games... I thought I had an interested (local) sub that wanted my ideal D/s relationship... well... he decided he's "...too pretty to be a sub, and wants to go to California to get with a modeling agency..." I didn't tell him that I used to model and stilll have connections... why should I? I thanked him for leading me on and blocked him on all media... Okay that's over... was back at the gym today for the first time in a bit, lot's going on and been sick so BOO!!!!! Did dead lifts for the first time in a long time (maybe 2-3 months?) 235 pound, 5 reps... not bad still not back up to my record but not bad! Left the gym, went to the grocery store (I see enchiladas in my future...) and came home only to find myself bored... I made my drag performer friend a mix, then decided today was a good day to make BBQ Sauce... oooops... 3 kinds... BBQ, Sweet & Spicy, and Hot... my son came by as I was just starting so I had him help... he's jealous that he can't take any home with him... oh well... time to find my next project... maybe I'll go out back and get that firepit started...

You know how it's been on my mind lately, and for a while if I'm honest, about the spinning circle of the good but not right for me guy, yes? Yesterday an opportunity presented itself and I took a deep breath and set boundaries. Literally. I said we needed better boundaries because we're just friends, right? And he said, I don't know. Here's the courageous part... I said I didn't want to be a placeholder. !!! This is huge in my world, in my head, in my learning how to value myself. Standing ovation, I'm waiting.  I am guessing he didn't take it well. He said okay. And I haven't heard a peep since. Which is part of the problem. Was. Saying you want open communication and actually doing the open communicating are two very different things. As a friend I would have listened. As a friend I care and don't want to hurt him. As anything more, severed ties. Okay, more like severed ties that were reattached and cut again several times these past two years. Just like training wheels, leaning on the comfortable and convenient, being the comfortable and convenient. I'm in a much better place than I was two years ago. I don't know if you've heard, but I set boundaries. Tell your friends.  Back to me. Of course I feel bad. Worried I hurt him. Worried the timing is all wrong. And yet... not my circus, not my monkeys. You're familiar, yes? I have to remind myself of this all the time. If I ruled the world I would move from task to task, make it efficient or pretty or whatever it needed, and then hand it off to someone to continue running with my changes so I could fix the next thing. If there is a job where you are never responsible for finishing anything you start please let me know.  Oh. Right. I'm okay. I'm not beating myself up. It was long overdue. It's what I need and I'm proud of myself for following through. Sending him positive thoughts as I move forward without monkeys. 

How can a str8 male fall in love with his Bull? This is a question that always calls my attention but lately it has become a surprising reality. For a Bull to pursue and obliterate any idea of str8 identity on a self proclaimed heterosexual male is a la or or of love. The Bull knows that this identity is misplaced but to convince the other male of this requires a deep knowledge of the male psyque.  Our society has done much of the work for us, str8 males (I said it before) admire sports figures to the edge of homoerotism. But of course that's admiration and it stops there. These males will follow a strong male to hell and back and allow any sort of intimacy with the leader of the band, actually they crave it. When they finally come to me I know there's a need a need that eventually could turn into love and that is a great feeling. However if one finds a male that is slowly falling in love not only giving you ownership of their bodies but also their feelings; that's a sacred charter that cannot be underestimated. Why? Because that male is into you and your dealings with him you are a model they can submit and surrender to. In short,  you've found a male bride and you must nurture that male and his feelings.  For the str8 male to acknowledge such feelings is confusing because is attraction, lust, respect, and the acknowledgement that he has fallen in love with the man and his phallus; but most of all the character and security it brings to his life. He is now realizing that the best place to be is anywhere his Man places him: between his legs, under him, or on his back awaiting the entry of the phallus that will change his life forever.  As a Bull you know he is yours  anyway you want that however, to the outside only him will feel your power and control. Even if he goes back to women which is an option if they still want to claim his str8 persona, he will mount them imitating you and doing it for you.    I had the pleasure of a baby named after me, and that’s the ultimate surender. It is his baby, now a teen, but every time he calls him he calls me. A male who loves you is a treasure to be had and a partner to nurture and possess beyond the physical.

It is different...I know a number of widows, who are remarried to widowers... I kind of thought it a little odd until I became a widow myself. I wondered, are grief groups like the only place to meet someone once you are a widow? Are grief groups like speed dating after a while, you start going through the people there until you settle down with one because, well, at that age that is what is left? But like I said, then I became a widow... I "joined the club" no one would ever wish for anyone to ever have to join... and I get it now. It is a club. We get each other in ways others don't. It wasn't a divorce, it was a death. We will always love them. We will always speak fondly of them. Our eyes will always water at their memory. Their birthday, our anniversary, the anniversary of their death... will always be hard days. There might be children in our lives that will always will need to be comforted, and allowed space to honor their memories and love for the person. However, there is still a need for companionship again at some point. Room for love again. Desire for tactile touch of another human being on our starved bodies... It is hard to explain to someone outside the club that just because we speak fondly, cry occasionally, tell funny stories about... doesn't mean we somehow care less about our current relationship. We aren't comparing them, we aren't seeing which one is better. We are in the present with them now, and we are happy to be there... We just came with baggage, and it isn't bad baggage, we just need to be allowed to have it...

i cant I cant take it any longer i want to behave and make him proud but the walls i have built to hide my emotions to protect myself from being hurt i cant take it i have known him 11 years and i cant take it any longer i am getting mentally exhausted i cant do it any longer im about to crash and burn i know you will be there for me but truth be told the walls are up so i dont get hurt i love you so fucking much and i dont want it to end i know you always say i wont be replaced and that calms me a little but its still in the back of my head i cant take it any longer what can i do i dont want these walls up but i know ill become emotionally wreck i have all these feelings and i know once the walls fall again i will need you more than ever before these emotions i have been hiding will come out are you ready for that?

Morning all -- we are entering a interesting time of the year - let's see who's up to the chellenge Pegtember Pegtember is the month of September when those lucky enough get to participate in pegging. Whether that is receiving or giving, rejoice- its Pegtember   Locktober When typically men put on chastity cages on for the entire month of October. No Nut November  aka  #NNN No Nut November (NNN) is an annual online challenge where submissive / slaves try to abstain from masturbation and orgasm for the entire month of November. Denial December aka #Dencember Denial December is a monthly challenge in the spirit of Pegtember, Locktober, and No Nut November. During the month of December, each day you must edge to the brink of orgasm in the amount of days that have passed in December (15 orgasms on December 15, 16 on Dec. 16, etc.). If you cum during the month, you fail the challenge. YOU MUST DENY YOURSELF ORGASM FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH TO SUCCEED. Good luck, have fun

Goodness I blocked two guys before breakfast today. I want a slave near me who drives so we can go enjoy munch evenings together and fetish clubs too. Cinema and meals out. Because I am a Dominant Woman that is "usual" for me. I want someone easy on the eye so no older than 40 and single.   Not too much of a list I thought. But as many women everywhere comment on here, guys are not reading profiles= I copy/paste replies to avoid the monotony.    1. First guy was living in Germany 1 hour away he said. The point is he doesn't live near me in the UK. I lead so it was no. Pushy got him blocked.   2. Guy was 65 so I declined as late nights bring.on the moans from older guys= it's late/music is so loud etc. Not my thing so MY choice is the guy is a certain age bracket. Guy us pushy gets blocked.   They need to put NOTE to self Google what Woman Led Relationship is=the Woman Leads=ME.  3. The late entry to be blocked. Another free ProDomme seeker who doesn't accept a FLR is ME the Woman leads. Period. Accept that or get blocked. Simple.    

Created using the words from a conversation between Myself and a female Dom about who was a better dominant  . .   My books are the marks on your skin as I play   My dvds are your muscle twitches that dance   My music your sighs, and cries, as I touch with kisses of fire   That touch makes you lose your mind     My taunts change the weak girl into a strong sub   The glint in my eye fills you with an eagerness to please   For I am as constant, pure, cold and loving as a God.   I AM DOM   I am merciful, I give pain     These are the elements that inflame undreamt of submission   My domination transforms pain into devotion, into worship   The knowledge that you are owned burns to the core   I own, manipulate, crush and build.   I enrapture     I pry open your hidden self and give peace   I show the path and watch as you struggle to take it   I shall alight my lips on your skin and you will be reborn   I give you life afresh     Your history, your future, your now, all reside in ME   I give you freedom. You obey to belong  

I'm an open book! Ask me anything! It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think "Wow, anything!? How brave!" And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different. When someone says "ask me anything," their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of "more" or stories of "Oh, when that happened to me..." Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from "US" to "ME." And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ. My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth. So I admit, when I see "I'm an open book!" I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question. My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this: 1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me. 2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages 3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it. What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. "Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?" Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes. You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you. My $0.02 ~Me

Using Rune stones in domination  Hello there, probably late to the party but I love to use my submissive as inanimate s and recently have found a great love and connection whilst using him as my rune reading altar. I invite people that also do this or interested in this to start a discussion with me as I'm pretty new to doing it and would love some other views on doing this My Five rune stone reading for myself and my wølf 1:- The Future RuneDAGAZ (D) represents Dawn. It symbolizes Awakening, Certainty, Illumination, Completion, Hope. 2:- The Past RuneMANNAZ (M) represents Humanity. It symbolizes Individuality, Friendship, Society, Cooperation, Help. 3:- The Possible Solution RuneBERKANA (B) represents a Birch Tree. It symbolizes Femininity, Fertility, Healing, Regeneration, Birth. 4:- The Problem or Worry RuneTIWAZ (T) represents the god Tyr. It symbolizes Masculinity, Justice, Leadership, Logic, Battle. 5:- The Future RuneGEBO (G) represents a Gift. It symbolizes Balance, Exchange, Partnership, Generosity, Relationships.

  Have you had a threesome? One or two, mmf with the Mrs. Do you like sex toys? I do, they are pretty. Would you ever have sex with your best friend? I experimented as you do with a male friend who was transitioning m to f. Something that will never fail to make you horny? Blood of course! Favorite parts of the opposite sex? Legs all the way, lips, eyes. Favorite parts on the same sex? Package obviously lol, smile, lips.

Hey Mistress **I am not your Mistress** Sorry hello Ma'am how are you, Will you do to me the things you do? Whips and Canes and all that stuff, I have "sub" frenzy and can't get enough, Yes I will say all the right things but never do them true, I am a shadow wanker and cum while messaging you. **No I won't, you ignored my needs, Didn't read my profile or even glance through my feed, So my needs have zero to do with what you seek, Pushing yourself first and certainly not meek,* Oh Ma'am your voice makes my knees go weak, (In boy speak damn I hope my load is expelled before she peaks) So off he went that newbie quick, without a clue on how to be mine he was such a dick, Yes we know it happens but 4 in one day, The shadow wanker news must be actively pushing my name. Obedience to me is what I like, Some laughter and a bare derriere in sight, A man who asks my consent, Before he wanks and becomes spent, Then in a restaurant a respectful man, Simping on me doing all he can, Hanging up my coat & pulling out my chair, Fetching all I need his excellent manners beyond compare, No age doesn't always develop better, Self-aware submission daily melts his mind to fetter, Only offer what you can do for me, Servant, sweetheart long term be, Fetter and bind that will to me, So he begs never to be free.

I long to have both the ownership the passion of giving the freedom of use and the security of safety with the man that I belong to and trust implicitly. Someone I can be devoted to, grow with, walk alongside, sleep next to, but always put him first, serve and give my love to. Forever.  But ha! I also know that's a tall order, a huge idea.  But a girl can dream, eh?  Long for is probably too mild of a word...but crave isn't the right word either, as my need isn't craven or out of control, it's measured, desired, planned, developed.  I'm at heart a kitten, a babygirl, searching for her Daddy. Not an age play Daddy tho, and I have hard limits about age play, diapers, too much little play, etc. But if you are a strong, thoughtful, intelligent, kind and caring Dominant who is looking for a devoted intelligent sexy funny healthy kitten to serve take care of and love you, then you've found me!  Do I have faults? Do you? Of course we do. But we work on them and grow, we always talk, we don't mind fuck each other, we have emotional and psychological intelligence to go along with our strength of character. But you lead, and I follow.  I've never had this, not even close. I've had many Doms of course. But I've always been the one who ends up leading, who knows, who does the right thing, who laughs, who isn't afraid to fail, the one to cry and forgive. The one to stand and walk away.  Will you let me be me, your girl, your slut, your kitten? Will you be my number 1? My Dominant? My man? My love?  Here's looking at you, Sir. 

I went to a new (to me) munch today. One thing I promise myself is that during a first meeting with an individual or group is NO BOOZE. Yoinks ago, while intoxicated, I had a couple of bad experiences with people who were just mean. Trying to clamp down on my reactions while intoxicated AND upset is worse than figuring out what to do when sober and upset. As in, I can feel the restraint taxing my poor, hooch-addled brain. Not that I cannot be lulled into a false sense of security, because shit happens, but at least I will have some comfort in knowing how things are supposed to go. Although kombucha is a fermented beverage, I have only gotten a buzz off of "kombucha beer" products, so I think I am being pretty careful. Lovely munch. Lots of conversation. I learned some new facts about reindeer. 

Stretchmarks, scars and cellulite It's a conversation that i've had far too often. "I want to take it off but I have scars", "I hope you don't mind my stretch marks" or what's worse "please don't be disappointed". I can't and i'm not going to pretend to speak for all men ( I am increasingly realising that there are a large number of us who are unequivocal dick heads) But I can say with confidence that I am not phased in the slightest. By your scars, your stretch marks or any other imperfections.Each one of them is a different aspect of you and possibly even tells a story that explains why you are the incredible person you are. My favourite thing to do on a play date is you standing in front of me so I can enjoy and explore every inch of you.

Cheeky Observation:   Are some men merging the lines between the back-packing hostel lifestyle with submission? I am noticing men from Europe and India contact me and claim to be submissive. I also notice they have this assumption they can stay with me in some kind of exchange student lifestyle with no plan as to how they settle in the UK or how they are going to get a job. No women dominant or submissive wants to deal with that sort of nonesense. Regardless if your submissive or dominant you can still behave like a decent respectable man. 1. Being submissive does not mean you don't hold manly values 2. It just means lean towards a gentle nature, it does not mean your a freeloading tramp. If your looking for a back-packing lifestyle please just contact the YMCA, contact some Bistro's looking for extra kitchen staff but don't expect me to be impressed if that is your lifestyle.    

Since I've gotten a lot of inquiries from Men, let me make it clear; You must be within the NYC metro area or close (Jersey, PA, Connecticut) I am open to being a sissy slave for the right man, perhaps even the potential to become my Master in a long term relationship. I'm into men who have experience in handling a sissy, and I'm interested in exploring pony/puppy play.  My prefence in a potential Master is a large man who is aged 45-55..In a potential Master, I like darker Men who are naturally hairy.. Also a Master who has experience in bondage and is able to properly tie me up whether it's with ropes or chains. He would also lock me in chastity as his sissy slave and have me yearning to take his cock in either hole on demand.

What She Is Looking For I am not looking for a fantasy. I am looking for a life, and I expect that life to be beautiful.  The distinction matters because fantasies are performed and lives are lived, and I have no interest in someone who shows up for the aesthetic and disappears when the reality of sustained devotion asks something difficult of them. Total Power Exchange is not a weekend arrangement or a mood that gets activated under the right conditions. It is the architecture of a shared existence, built deliberately, maintained consistently, and governed entirely by my authority. If that sentence produces hesitation in you, this is not your door to knock on. What I want is a man who presents to the world as my equal, polished and capable and the kind of presence that commands a room, who comes home and exhales completely into my ownership of him. The contrast is not incidental. It is the point. I am drawn to the specific magic of a man who holds genuine power in the world and chooses, with full understanding of what he is surrendering, to place it entirely at my feet. Submission means nothing from someone who had nothing to give. I want the full weight of what you are, handed over without reservation. I require intelligence. Not credentials, though I respect those. The living kind: curiosity, attentiveness, the capacity to learn me with the focused dedication of someone who has decided I am worth studying completely. I want to be known the way Keats knew beauty, as a truth so self-evident it requires no argument, only devotion, only the willingness to stand before it and be completely undone. I will know immediately whether you have paid that quality of attention. I always know. I am a dominant woman in the fullest sense: not a role I perform but a nature I inhabit. I move through the world with the ease of someone who has never needed permission to take up space, and I expect my home to reflect that, my dynamic to reflect that, my partner to reflect that back to me in the quality of his service and the depth of his surrender. The house runs on my standards. I have the Binder, and there is ceremony in you holding it, learning it, and cherishing the standard I have created through my writing. My comfort is the first consideration in every room. There is good linen and good light and the specific luxury of a life curated entirely to my taste, and you will maintain it to that standard because anything less is not a home I recognize. My pleasure is the organizing principle of our shared life, not as imposition but as the natural order of a structure we have both chosen and built together. I want your obsession. Earned, total, focused entirely on me. I think of E.E. Cummings carrying his heart in his hands, given over completely, and I want that, the real version of it, the version that costs something. I want to be the thing your thoughts return to without deciding to, the standard against which you measure every choice, the presence that lives in you so completely that pleasing me stops feeling like a task and starts feeling like breathing. I will wring that out of you, patiently and completely, until there is no daylight left between what you want and what I require. I mark what is mine. Permanently, intentionally, with the quiet pride of a woman who builds things to last. I do not share. I do not negotiate my authority. I do not soften my expectations to make them more comfortable to receive. The contract I offer is real, the terms are mine, and I hold to them with the same precision I expect from you. Emily Dickinson wrote that she dwelt in possibility, a fairer house than prose. That is the quality of interior life I bring to everything, including this, including you, and I expect to be met there by someone whose imagination is equal to mine, whose capacity for devotion is as expansive as what I am offering in return. And what I offer is not small. My world is one of ease and intention, of travel and good rooms and the particular luxury of a life built by a woman who knows exactly what she wants and has never once settled. I will take you to Greece and Japan and every beautiful place I have decided I deserve, and you will move through those places slightly behind me, handling everything that needs handling, leaving me free to inhabit the world at full scale. You will carry my bags, you will shine my boots, you will lay out my clothing and wonder at the softness of my lingerie, you will rub oil upon my skin and marvel aat the way I soak up the golden light at the end of a day we spent together.  In return you will live inside the most extraordinary thing available to a man like you: my full, genuine, sustained attention, chosen with my eyes open, given to someone I have decided is worth knowing completely. My care, when you have earned it, is not small. My world, once I allow you into it fully, is a place that will ruin you for anything less.  I know precisely what I am offering. The question is whether you are worth offering it to, and worth being molded in my carefully crafted image.   

Well its a different thing now for therapy and to make better quality bondage gear again with a guarantee that no store or fetish maker Gives. As alot dont stand by there workmanship as it is a skilled craftsmans that if it makes quality gear of the best leather and hardware it should out last your slave or submissive. If it doesnt it has failed. So it guarantees to always replace free of charge restraints and other bondage gear it makes. It see so many out there making quality bondage gear and charging ridiculous prices. It wanted a Pony Harness and the price was Ridiculous $1500. It has to laugh. Well, the 2nd order of it Leather working tools have arrived from Amazon. Give it the third time in it life Rebuilding its Leather making workshop. And in the next fortnight, got a third order that has to go in. And that should see it. Build the tools and the workshop that it needs to start making. What It needs And wants And to rebuild it inventory. it uses the highest grade harness US latigo leather as used in the Saddle and Harness industry on the market and heavy metal hardware, Post screw rivets and with reinforced with leather sewing machine for extra strength for secure durablity.

A sissy does not get to decide if it will have sex, with whom it will have sex, where it will have sex, when it will have sex or how it will have sex.     In fact, a sissy doesn’t “have sex”.     A sissy is USED for sex.    All fagged up in women’s stockings, women’s lingerie and makeup it is a kind of sexual prop to be used by men - real men - to bang up and relieve themselves in or on, when, how and where they choose.      When the man is finished with it, it is discarded, like a used condom, awash with his fluids, whimpering away pathetically in all it emasculation in stockings and girlie shit.  

 A collar isn’t just a symbol… it’s a question What does your collar mean to you? Is it ownership, trust, devotion, identity… or something else entirely? For some, it’s a sacred vow. For others, it’s a promise to themselves — a reminder of who they are when they give themselves over.   I want to hear your thoughts. When you see or wear a collar, what stirs in your heart? Is it pride? Submission? Comfort? Or maybe a little fear that makes you more alive?   Let’s open this dialogue. Share your experience. 

The Rules of the House of DL. * Family comes first. * I am here to satisfy my Master's needs and in return he will fulfill my needs. * I will be respectfulto my Master at all times. * My Master is always there for me, no matter what my need may be. * I will not put myself down. * I have to get enough sleep, rest and maintain my health. * Any big decisions, I ask Master. He listens to me and if I have a problem we discuss it. * No pets on the furniture! * 10. Be in compliance with the 4 agreements:   * 10A. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.   * 10B. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.   * 10C. Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, saddness and drama.   * 10D. Always do you best. Simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. [(www.miguelruiz.com )]

8/12/22 Football player gets what he wants Football player boy came over for the first time in quite a few months. So I knew his ass was going to be tight, and I wasn't mistaken.When he first arrived I was sitting in my rocking chair wearing only a pair of boxers. I had been playing with myself so not only was I already heard but I had pre-cum oozing down my cock.We've been getting together for quite a number of years, so he doesn't even have to be told, he strips as he walks through the door. As he was stripping there he exchanged a few pleasantries, how have you been, it's been a while, sorry I'm a few minutes late. I just pulled my cock out from my shorts and said, come take care of this.He got down on his knees and took my cock in his hand. He saw the precum dripping from the tip, and licked it off.  Then he immediately latched on to my cock taking it all the way to my balls.    He has an outside job so he's been in the sun a lot. I don't think I ever remember him looking this tan. His hair is cut extremely short this time. His broad shoulders have a new tattoo since I saw him last. The view looking down at him is incredible.I rested my hand on the back of his head feeling his rhythmic bobbing up and down on my cock. He knew exactly what he was doing, I didn't need to guide him in any way. Although a few times I just wanted to hear him choke on my cock, so I applied pressure on the back of his head until I felt my cock head bottom out in the back of his throat.This went on for a few minutes, but I remembered something he told me during his last visit. He wanted to expand his repertoire again. Originally many years ago he had a girlfriend who would peg him. They broke up and he couldn't find another girl to peg him. That's when we met. And at the beginning all I was allowed to do wish of toys up his ass.Years later, many patient years later, he said he wanted to try sucking cock. Months after that he wanted to taste my load. It has been fun watching him change over the years. And now he wants FUCKED by my cock. This is what he told me at the end of our last session quite a few months ago. Today was the day.We went downstairs and he climbed into the sling. I secured his ankles high into the air as he scooted down in the sling to give me plenty of access to his hole. He doesn't like the roughness of my fingers, so I slipped a pair of rubber gloves on, applied some lube and started playing on the outside of his ass. Normally I just dive in with one or two fingers, but today I wanted HIM to WANT IT extra bad. I wanted him to yearn for it.I teased the outside of his hole and I could feel him lunging in the sling by grabbing the chains and trying to push himself onto my finger. But I was just teasing him at this point. I reached up and stroked his cock a few times, and then went back to teasing his hole.Eventually I gave him what he was yearning for at the moment, I slid my finger deep into his ass with one swift movement. My finger landed on his hard prostate. Some days his prostate is kind of soft until I get him sexually excited at which point it gets hard as a rock. Today, it was hard as a rock the moment I touched it. I applied a little pressure and noticed pre-cum ooze out of the end of his cock.With one finger still up his ass massaging his prostate, using the other hand I smeared his pre-cum over his cock head and started stroking it. He threw his head back and looked in the mirror above us on the ceiling of the basement. I was watching his face and his eyes as he intently focused on every movement I made.As expected his ass was tight. Wonderfully tight. But eventually I worked a second finger into his hole. I don't know where he learned to clean his ass out, but he does a better job than anyone I know. He's definitely a pro at cleaning himself out, and that means I can use larger and longer toys.But for now I was just working him over with one and then two fingers. Occasionally sliding a third finger in. I watched as he gazed into the mirror above us and I gave him a bit of a show. I pulled my fingers out and put my index finger as deep as I could. Then I would pull it out and replace it with only my middle finger twisting my hand around as I played with his prostate. Then I pulled my middle finger out and replaced it with my ring finger and little finger at the same time, I spun my hand around again.I pulled my fingers out and replaced them with my index and middle finger, the easy way. Vertically, aligned with his ass crack. But then with a twist of 90°, he was getting my fingers the hard way. But he was doing just fine. He was enjoying it as much as I was.His cock was hard and I continued to play with it. And then I did something I usually don't do. And you would think I was doing it for his benefit, and I want him to think I was doing it for his benefit, but this was just a little treat for myself. I took the head of his cock in my mouth and started twirling my tongue around his piss slit. I glanced up and saw him throw his head back, I think his eyes might have rolled backwards a bit toward his skull.I continued sucking on his cock until I had his entire cock in my mouth. I bobbed up and down a few times and he started to moan incredibly. I know from the past experience that once he orgasms were done for the day, as with most guys. And there was no way I was going to risk that. So I popped my mouth off his cock and continued working on his ass putting a third finger in.He loves CBT so with my fingers still firmly planted inside him, I grabbed a wooden spoon. I started smacking his balls lightly at first but rhythmically

Football Player experiences the Milking Machine October 30, 2023 - Football player experiences the MILKING MACHINE Football player came for a visit. And it's been quite a while. Quite a while since he has visited, and QUITE A WHILE since I have written a story. (Sorry, I've been both busy and lazy) Oh my God his visit was absolutely incredible. He got here at noon and left at about 2:00. He messaged me around 11am and said he would stop by at noon. By the time he got here I had been watching porn and had a nice hard on. Probably the last three or four times that he got here he wanted to suck my dick but I couldn't get hard because of a new medication my doctor had me on. I did not have that problem today, I was as hard as a rock. He was sucking on my dick for a few minutes and... Continued on http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace

  Hello long time no see.  For those of us who have lived the lifestyle and have lived this way of life for a long time we've endured trials and tribulations and it seems more than our share of failures as well as some success.  For those coming into the lifestyle,  some things are new, most things are not  BDSM is the natural order of life.  There will always be dominant, submissive, property, owner, slave, submissive, bottom, top, all these are just words used to describe that order. There's no going back, No utopia to the human condition Someone will always lead, someone will always follow, some will always use, some will always take, some always give, some always do nothing except sit there and not move forward for a lack of fear for lack of decisiveness for lack of just Not wanting to take that chance. Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism  are the tools of the lifestyle, the sex all that pretty much remains the same. The only difference is who's doing it,who's using it,who's living it. Humans are a short lived species better to have lived life then to wait until end to experience it at death's door.      

I'm forced to choose a garish background color, and my favorite color isn't among the options.  How tremendously frustrating.  Anyhow, if you've come so far as to view my profile and read my journal entries (entry, really), I thank you.  Some notes: I'm 46 now (2026) My main profile text is old and I have matured since I wrote it.  I don't want to incur the disabled-profile penalty by changing it.  Please ignore most of it. Men and women have vastly different experiences on these sites.  While I try my best to be understanding of the female firehose-of-idiots experience, I ask that you also be understanding of the male ignored-despite-effort experience, and consider if a polite negative response might be better than no response. I'm a sadistic Dom with a bent for degradation and punishment/pain.  That said, my interests are flexible. That's enough for now.  I think most matchmaking sites are slowly dying, and collarspace is no exception.  Here's hoping for a few more good connections before it breathes its last.

I responded to an email today in which I wrote because ai realized I am done.   I figured I would post it here being as when I try to change my profile Collar space goes into spaz outs and threatens to lock me out. "Due to yet another year of Covid, health issues of my own, and general life, I have decided that I can no longer be a responsible Owner The desire is still there but taking a slave is a huge responsibility and time sinkI have friends and history in the kink community that I stay in touch with, which I dont delete my profiles here and on FetLife.  So there it is folks.  Have a kinky happy life.  ~~ Mz Stormz

He drops his head to his chest, but then slowly nods.  "Thank you for your honesty, baby." I continue to explain how, just because of the pandemic I had not deviated from my desire of finding someone else and that now that people are comfortable meeting again, I would resume my search. He kept looking at the floor between his legs and I had to keep telling him to look me in the eye. This was the moment I had been holding back on for too long. I could feel my anticipation building in my chest, bursting to be heard. It took all of my strength to stop me from just ting out what I wanted to say, but I understood the gravity of what we were discussing and knew that was not the way to go about it. A good Dominant wants her submissive to be on the same page as her, not only willing to have his limits pushed, but wanting it. I find the psychology involved in convincing M that this is what he wants, intoxicating. It is what I consider the true essence of behavior modification.  I compose myself and everything starts to flow out naturally, I feel my power. This is the moment of truth. M and I have discussed cuckolding quite a bit and he is granted sex very infrequently and has learned not to even ask, but this is the first time I am going to extiguish any hope he may have of it happening again. I know this is a big deal. I explain in a very sweet and delicate tone how I love him dearly with all my heart, but that he would never have sex with me in the traditional sense again, ever. He stares up at me unblinking. I repeat it so that it would sink in, "M, we have arrived at this point, please understand that you will never, ever have sex with me again." He looks heartbroken, I want to scoop him up and hold him, but I must continue. I tell him how I know he could never satisfy me and in a way, I didn't want him to. I tell him what he already knows, which is that I have been driving this lifestyle because this is what I want. I tell him that there may have been a time when I saw him as a toy to be used sexually, but I just can't even picture that anymore. I tell him how I have always loved the dynamic we have and especially now more than at any other time in the past.  "M, this has always been my goal, you must have always known that." he nods with sad eyes.  I love the control, I love completely owning him in a mothering sense, I love his submission and most of all his helpless obedience and emasculation. I tell him he could never go back, that this was how I want him and how I love him. I can see my words sinking in as he stares at me. The shield of his pacifier gag is rather big and I can't tell if I see anger, fear, or acceptance in his face as he sits there quietly. I continue. "I love you M...but we committed to this lifestyle a long time ago TOGETHER and I just cannot keep indulging you sex when I get nothing out of it. Indulging you in such a way is not good for your headspace and I know you know that. I’m in need of the feelings that I used to get from men who were not my little boy. Yes, our dynamic has me almost constantly aroused...the power ugh..., but masturbation no longer satisfies me and the idea of having sex with what we've helped you become just ruins my powerful headspace."  He looks very sad and is pleading with his eyes, but at the same time I can see he is rocking on his butt slightly fidgeting (he thinks he's being discreet but the crinkle of his diaper is unmistakable). He rocks in his diaper like that when he is aroused and trying to get some feeling to his chaste bits; it's his “poker tell.” This rocking is the final indication I need that I am making the right decision. I stand up, get very close to his side and have him hug my leg while I rub the top of his head.  I tell him that I can tell by his rocking that he must accept everything I'm saying and that a verbal response wasn't needed. He looked up at me suddenly, still rocking and holding my legs, with big eyes, pleading eyes. I smile, "accept it baby, it will be easier, you don't even need to speak. Just nod your head and show me you accept what I've said." Still looking at me, he closed his eyes and drops his chin to his chest. With a little more force I say, "M, open your eyes, look at me and nod your head." 

To elaborate on my interest/search:  First, no headless profiles or photos of yourself heavily edited or otherwise masked by a photo app, otherwise my first and last impression of you will be that you are a fake or catfisher -- I won't respond.  Sexual encounters are not a priority, in fact most of my fetish play encounters to present have been non-sexual; as anyone who has played before knows 99% of fetish is mental.  A regular relationship with someone who has common interests, particularly with bondage, is ideal for developing intimacy but not essential.  Just play is perfectly fine.  I'm not here for a 'blow and go' so if you're just looking to get off I am not for you. Finally, I've dated or otherwise met a number of different indviduals over the years;  in my opinion life is too short to 'search for the perfect one'; I prefer those like myself who are open minded and grounded that I get along well with to see where it goes over time.    

Llego se puso de rodillas frente a mi y me dijo: Señor vengo a limpiarlo, se que acaba de usar a una de sus perras... Es verdad en la mañana me había cogido a una vainilla que lo mama muy bien. bajo mi bragueta, comenzó a limpiar mi falo con la lengua, lo recorrió completo. Al terminar me pide permiso para chuparlo, se lo concedo. mamo con tal entusiasmo y habilidad que exploto en su boca rápido, los traga con gusto. ve por tu vibrador te voy a dar un regalo, la pongo en 4 frente a mi, le pongo su juguete, un instante después me pide permiso para tener un orgasmo en ese momento retiro el estimulo, le pongo su cinturón de castidad y la mando a hacer sus tareas. Una sumisa excitada es más obediente.   she got on his knees in front of me and said: "Sir, I came to clean you, I know you just used one of your bitches".... It's true that in the morning I had fucked a vanilla who sucked me very well. She went down my fly, began to clean my phallus with his tongue, she went all over it. When she finished she asked me for permission to suck it, I gave it to her. She blows me with such enthusiasm and skill that I explode in her mouth quickly, she swallows them with pleasure. I put her on 4 in front of me, I put her toy on, a moment later she asks me for permission to have an orgasm at that moment I remove the stimulus, put her chastity belt on and send her to do her homework. An aroused submissive is more obedient

Master's WritingsFoundations: Commanding vs LeadingI came across a Dominant who appeared to miss understand the difference between leading and commanding. A thing seen too often in the lifestyle, where these two terms become red into one, yet for Dominants they should be viewed as quite different.Command is a singular act at a specific moment in time. A direction given to another to do something and when that thing is done, the moment is over. There is no longevity, no lingering emotion or sense of something larger. Command exists to accomplish a specific thing at a specific moment - nothing more.Leading, on the other hand, is a process that cannot be accomplished in a single moment in time. It is more about a direction than a specific action and as such requires vision of the goal as well as awareness of the individual. It involves motivating, developing and inspiring people into action. Leading requires both the skill to communicate and the presence of a leader to identify the goal and describe the path how to get there.When command and leading become interchangeable, they typically devolve into commands strung together and submissives running to accomplish tasks, under the pretense of leading. Even though sometimes these tasks have legitimate value in the development of a submissive, in the larger scope, they miss the mark because what gets communicated to the submissive typically lacks the values, principles, and/or underlying lessons that connect the submissive to the dominant or to the lessons to be learned.So is one better than another? They are the equivalent of a scene compared to a dynamic. Commands are adequate for a single scene, yet commands will never provide the foundation for a power-imbalanced dynamic. For this, Dominants must lead and lead with vision of what they intend to create, clarity of roles, a sense of purpose about why even the little things matter and the commitment to live path they set forth, committing to the same level of quality they expect from others.

i am pretty sure he's done with me.  No idea how I'm going to get through this feeling of failure.  I don't think I possess the ability to move on.  He owns every part of me. My thoughts are wrapped around him, our interactions, our love.  I don't surrender temporarily. I don't quit just because things get hard. I never have.  But somehow I'm supposed to quit him? Quit us? And just carry on? The very thought is viscerally painful.  I miss him. He still won't talk to me. Not even to tell me one way or the other.  On FetLife he's still listed on my profile. I suggested he remove it if he was done with me, that it would give him a way of telling me without the need for direct contact, if that's what he wanted. He is still listed.  All I know is, it's going to take the death of hope to let him go. 

I have found a fuck buddy. Met face to face, seems nice enough and actually single. Was direct on the phone that I want to use him for sex. I have started recleaning and reorgnisnig the flat so definately preparing for company. stocked up the wine rack, beers in the fridge, heaps of meat and fish in the freezer. Bought silk PJ and silk underwear - not into the whole leather crap. Buying rope and going to practice hog-tying him for my own pleasure. Etsy have some really cute strap-ons, girly ones with pretty patterns. Candle play wax. Should write a list of things I want to practice and experiement. TBC (to be continued).   C

 I am a 41 year old male who due to a physical disability caused at birth I am a wheelchair user, I have tried to live a normal life but due to discrimination that is almost impossible, got no friends, no social life and no even had a date in over 20 years. When it comes to ABDL I am quite open to what happens as long as it includes Bondage, I have seen a few professional dominants in the past with little luck but when I did meet they always feminised me so most of my ABDL stuff is female or sissy in nature. Not had much luck however some health issues in the past year have made me wear diapers. I have mixed neurogenic bladder disorder which means one minute I have Incontinence the next retention so have a catheter fitted so absolutely no control of my bladder, I had 3 haemoroids removed and 3 days later was passing rectual bleeding and blood clots so been prescribed laxatives.  

Here is the deal .  Just because you send Me a picture of yourself does not mean I have to send you Mine.  If I wanted My picture out there I would have it on My profile now wouldn't I ?   If I get to really know you and think that we might be a possibility I have no problem sending , picture, email and phone.    However and until then don't ask for any of that.   Understand I get several messages a day.   Some are ones from another country, some are just looking to " play"  some are only in a fantasy space in their heads, some are married , some have their own place and will never move.  There are many variations and reasons why I don't go farther with somone. But, those are the main ones.   Honesty seems to be quite rare on here.... First be honest with yourself. We aren't looking for someone perfect, loyalty, honesty and long term that is what I am looking for.  That is what I'm used to and like.  And men seriously ... use that little brain of yours. This site is getting more and more scammers of men posing as woman. They say all the "right things" and some of you believe it, then they ask for money. Wake up, it don't work that way. A 29 year old model with a stolen only fans picture is NOT  after you.  he/she/it want's your money thats it.  Don't be stupid and encourage  the scammers .  

Looking for permanent companionship.  I am poly and unpartnered currently.  What I am looking for is obedience and full time servitude. I am not a nice person.  If you please me, you will be rewarded.  If you displease me, you will be punished.  None of that bratty punishment.  You will be punished in a way that you genuinely dislike.  If chaining you up and leaving you alone is something that distresses you, that can be your punishment.  If you dislike pain, or public humiliation, or anything really, I will make it happen so you genuinely suffer.  If you want to be playful and want some of these things, just ask at an appropriate time and I will make it happen as long as you have not displeased me. Also looking for genuine hypnosis subjaspects I am not a monster, I am not a nice guy either.

Let’s contemplate the issue of energy when it come to sex among equals. As a rule nature is perceived as male and female, positive and negative, dry and wet, light and dark, cold hot; you get the idea. However if we add to these categories the fact that there are many ways in which these elements can manifest it becomes apparent that in nature these concepts are very fluid. There are many ways in which gender is conceptualize by cultures and more varied indeed is the manner in which gender roles are characterized. When it comes to love among equal genders these categories manifest but from the standpoint of strength which is the value of the male realm. Passive, submissive, or any other adjectives given to the bottom are but description of how the male strength choses to emerge in a male/male relationship; the same way when we use other adjectives to characterize tops. Any word and denomination is constraining and the truth is that there are many ways to be a bottom and many ways to be a top and the fluidity of these energies are always in a state of flux.  As a rule the male strength is always present regardless of the role we play in an intimate relationship. The strength and force of a male grip either using the hand, the mouth the anus, or the phallus is still a manifestation of that universal force that permeates all of us as we engage each other’s energy within the chosen role. That is a point of departure; there can not be a top without a bottom or vice versa. It is as I said before the natural order of things. No one can denny the fact that we are relating our energies in a sexual encounter as a male to male proposition but in a different degree of intensity which makes the encounter fulfilling and meaningful. The organs involved speak to the degree of energy engaged and no one can forget the fact that there is a male exchange of energies which is mutually fulfilling when done right.

to those of you who think that a meeting should be hurried: this is something that you should know about me. I need to have a sense of who I am meeting and the only way I know to do that is to have a lot of conversation and correspondence beforehand. I will not engage in primarily sexual based conversations before establising compatibility and mutual interest. I am much more interested in what's between your ears than what's between your legs.  I have, on occasion, met people off the internet without spending much time chatting with them. Most times it has never led to anything beyond that initial meet. The majority of the people that I do correspond with on here does not lead to a face to face meeting. If it did, consider yourself lucky.  In particular, the need to know the other person is more important than if I was embarking on a vanilla relationship.I don't consider this process 'time-wasted because the search is usually interesting whether it results in a face to face or not. I refused to be hurried in the process. If you cannot articulate with me in an email then the chances are pretty damn high you will not when we are face to face. If any of the above statements seem too trying or unreasonable, I honestly don't care. Just don't contact me.

Jesus's love for you is so deep as that of a father and child and so intimate as that of a husband and wife. Jesus and the angels celebrate you turning to him. Like that of a dear friend coming back, more missed than they had realized. Give him your burdens he will sustain you. He will not let the righteous be moved. He is nurturing and practical. He is like a supportive parent, a supportive lover. He is fair, trustworthy, and gives you clarity not impartially but fully. Be fearless and have the courage to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ. It's a journey, through all the valleys and mountain peaks but he is faithful to never leave you. He carries you. He strengthens you. He cares for you. He sees you. He hears you. Some things happen quickly and some things require time. Perhaps time to build your character. Build your endurance. Build your spirit. Build your patience. Build your wisdom. Some things are not meant to break you but to make you so strong and unrecognizable to your old self. Even in the dark there is a light and the light has not been overcome by the darkness. It cannot be. 

Today I read a journal entry on here asking where is the love on this site. Personally I don't share deep sentiments online, particularly on here. Why? Many are new bottoms seeking transactional kink which gets them blocked. In my view a submissivelistens to how I lead and answers questions I have. A bittom pushes to play to start how he-wants it=my Lady boner dropp means he gets ignored and BLOCKED. Returning to the topic of love: Any deep emotional feelings are mutual and developed over time within my poly group I am the Boss of a long-term face-to-face relationship. On here are my entry level thoughts regarding me, my life and who attracts my interestas a friend or potential long-term Slave in a TAT poly relationship.  Of course getting to know each other prior to anything developing takes time. I don't talk kink online at all. First meet is at The Mawney Munch in Romford in Essex, UK. No exceptions.  Pretty clear right?

Tonight, as I sit alone in my room, the whirr of the fan above, and the muted hum of nightlife outside, I'm overwhelmed with a cocktail of emotions. They say time is the best healer, but some memories are etched so deep that time only accentuates their imprint. Today's breeze had the playful quality of that one evening, that daring venture that James and I took together. He always had this unique ability to surprise me. Just when I thought I knew all his tricks, he would come up with something unprecedented. I still remember his mischievous grin when he handed me that beautiful burgundy saree. "Wear this for our date tonight," he said, with a glint in his eye that I'd come to recognize. It meant there was a twist to this tale. And oh, was there! Wrapping the saree around myself, feeling its soft touch glide over my skin, knowing I wore nothing beneath, was an experience in itself. The chill of the metal waist chain against my bare skin, every step I took accentuating the lack of fabric underneath, it was exhilarating. As we walked through the garden, the tendrils of the evening breeze would occasionally threaten to expose my little secret. Each gust made my heart skip a beat, the thrill of possibly being caught, the sheer audacity of it, and James's approving glances only added to the excitement. Though it was all in good fun, it revealed a lot about our relationship. James always pushed me to embrace my desires, however unconventional they might be. With every playful dare, every challenge, he taught me that sensuality wasn't just about touch or sight. It was about feeling, anticipation, the dance of the mind with desire, and most importantly, trust. Trust in him, trust in us, and trust in myself. In the heart and among the bustling streets and the vibrant nightlife, we found our little pockets of intimacy. Some may see it as scandalous, but to me, it was a testament to our bond. We didn't need to be confined to the four walls of our bedroom to feel close. It was these spontaneous moments that made our relationship feel alive. Today, surrounded by the memories of our shared past, the saree folded neatly in my closet seems more than just fabric. It's a reminder. A reminder of our passion, our adventurous spirit, and the love that transcended norms. Though James isn't here in person, his essence lingers in these memories, keeping the embers of our love glowing.

 angeldmort