tonight i miss you   19 years and counting. i still don't know your name. i still don't know your face. but you have to be out there.   i miss you every day. but nights like tonight are harder.   things are rough right now....big jess is worn and little jess is despondent. just for tonight if only i could see you, if only i could hear you, smell you feel you.   maybe if you could hold me and tell me somehow this will all work out i could keep going better. but i can't.   tonight i hit another wall another moment where the adult me has to push and the little me hides more and more, it's not safe to be out.   daddy i don't know why you've been gone for so long but i really wish you could hold me right now and talk to me and just for one night we could go to sleep together. even if it was just a moment and the stars and spirit took you away from me again...just one moment would fill my juice cup so big.   someone told me it sounds like a good country song, "19 years of looking and he's still not here". every day i feel your absence. but tonight is one of those impossible nights.   tonight i miss you.

the dark god & goddess: archangel michael and sophia, AKA the daddy dominant and little girl Vibe. through algorithmic divination—how spirit uses music and tech for ascension vibes     the shuffle algorithm divination is so immaculate today. all started out with the synergy of the dark guy and the dark guy with WHITE LIGHTS(spirit changes it to lights to me instead of lies because it's shining light on the black areas of life which lies are dark too) AND BLACK BEACHES summer bummer.   "It's never too late to be who you wanna be (swimmin' in my safe)   To say what you wanna say (tattoo on my face, swimmin' in my safe)   And it's never too late to leave if you wanna leave (better not)   Or to stay if you wanna stay, "   "Hip-hop in the summer (what? What? What?)   Don't be a bummer, babe (what? What? Yeah?)"   i try lana but just like a few days ago i am a rock bottom bummer at times but that's why we're dark you and i. we go there but come back.   this bit requires nuance that a lot of people don't have. you can read this as a bad characteristic..but if you are able to again hold the line be sovereign and fully let go and go back to yourself, this is literally just giving into SAILOR VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN, LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK, ROLLING HEART VIBRATION, WINK CHAIN SWORD SHIT...it's just an intense way of loving and fighting for girlies.   it's why i say coming in love and peace viciously and violently. the love and peace is there but it's done in an intense and assertive and if need be aggressive nature. world and other people's choice.   what happens when these two forces unite?   "What? (What? They been at it, check it out) huh? (we been out here, yeah)   Slide inside it, diddy boppin', milly rockin' (what? What? Whoo!)   She just might become my lover for real (yeah that's girl, for real, for real)   I might fuck with her all summer for real (for real, for real)   They better not holler if I cuff her for real (for real, for real)   Niggas better run for cover for real   Goin' bell how I feel, close the deal, pop a seal   Take the whip, two pills on the lips on the real (for real, for real)   what's the difference between the love and light and the dark creator energy?"   when these songs or energies show up the love and light tribe go ew toxic scary needs to transmute redirect avoid pray away eject.   the dark crowd say, i have that in me. namaste. i see it in you. these lyrics aren't offensive or mean, they are admitting how crazy and overwhelming things are at times. and not only do i namaste it.   "White lies and black beaches, miles in between us   Is this love or lust or some game on repeat? It's like makin' me crazy   Tell me, "have patience", baby, I need this   White lines and black beaches   White lies and black beaches and blood-red sangrias   We traveled for weeks, just to escape your demons   But you've got your reasons in makin' me crazy   But you've got your reasons, white lights and black beaches   High tops in the summer (top out, hop out, hop out)   Don't be a bummer, babe (top out, hop out, hop out)   Don't be a bummer (top out, hop out, hop out)   Don't be a bummer"   jump the fuck in let's go for a fucking ride together. keep your shit tight i keep my shit tight and let's jump with the parachute into it head first.   "Not even they can stop me now   Boy, I'll be flying overhead   Their heavy words can't bring me down   Boy, I've been raised from the dead"   highlighted with aliana's unfold song....the problem with urban flora is the entire album is a insight into this type of woman. the mermaid the siren, the dark goddess, the oshun, the yemoja(that's how it comes to me spelling wise naturally and i know it's not 'right' ), and starseed wise on a galactic wise the dark beings from sirius lemuria and other water places. the project for me is to audio note play by play the album because i can't honor the water roots in text. but that's going to be a big undertaking....to be noted.   but this is what happens when the chaotic dark man and woman unite. again 3d puts this as boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife...and while that sustainability provides the most continual long term optimal..5d can have you unfold in a second, in a moment, in a few days, in a few weeks..just by an exchange. and opening up to fully receive that in the same short term capacity with full abandon without titles allows a higher elevation with letting go of the need to control how long how strong how exactly it goes.     "Cover my thoughts in gold   I'm your flower, watch me unfold   My vulnerability, letting you consume me   The parts of me that eyes can't see   The glowing underneath   Picking off the petals   I'll let you if you're gentle   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me   Hey, he says that I'm glowing   Hey, He says that I'm glowing   This kind of love we can't control   The art of touch, I am covered in gold   I know that you feel me now   No I'm never going down   The parts of me buried underneath   The glowing, don you see?   I know that you feel me now   No I'm never going down   Hey   Hey   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me   Hey, he says that I'm glowing   Hey, He says that I'm glowing   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   This kind of love we can't control   Love, love   We can't control   The kind of love   We can't control   This kind of love we can't control   The love we can't control"   the woman goes through the brooklyn baby. i feel i literally squeezed all the seeds out of that and previous posts can be referenced for the meaning behind that.   summary bit here.   We talked about how "Brooklyn Baby" by Lana Del Rey represents the swan song not just for the Sophia energy but for Michael in the 3D—the energy that lives between spiritual masculinity and

I'm so excited, Tony is coming tomorrow.  It has been so tough with his job and three challenging kiddos.   Yet he is making the drive tomorrow and we'll have the weekend! WOOT!.   Been working around the cabin, so a lot has been put away, gallery walls completed, furniture and rugs placed, things look so much different from the last time he was here!  I left Christmas up, so we could have our own celebration .  I usually leave things til the end of Eppphany , a wee longer is no big deal, especially because I was late in getting things up . My father has been calling me a lot. He said he wants to move in with me , again. Not til Spring.  I don't know if he is mad at my niece and using me as a threat, or if he's finally ready to do it.     We'll see, I'm not holding my breath. Cataract surgery next week, I can't wait!  I have been struggling for a year and a half!  Hopefully all will go well, and glasses will be occasional, rather than continuously!. Bedtime.    M.  

Blessing for the Leather Boys of San Diego 2026 May the spirit of fellowship guide us tonight.We gather as brothers, friends, mentors, and community membersto honor those who step forward with courage, pride, and a willingness to serve. We celebrate not only competition, but the values that bind us together: integrity, respect, accountability, and love for our leather family.Bless these contestants who have offered their hearts, their stories, and their commitment to this community. May they stand confidently in their truth, knowing that their worth is not measured by a title, but by the character they bring and the service they give.

November 4, 2024 @ 4:35pm  Hello Everyone,  I understand this profile is a little confusing to some, let me clear things up for you all.I will always be an Domme first, then second I am an Alpha submissive only to Sir Silverback G which is my life partner. I hope this Clears up any confusion. Have a wonderful Morning, Evening, Night.  SG 

Chauffeur wanted for tomorrow night 25/03/2023. You will be required to pick ME up from IG1 by 8.30pm and drop ME off at E11.  

Appears i am a permanent chastity sub/slave.  Locked 842 days as of 01/20/22.   As the sub, it’s a turn-off to see a sub-cumin during play.   While important both enjoy the scene, it’s all about the pleasure of the Dom.   An exception to “enjoy” is a discipline      The scene is about Dom’s pleasure and the sub should focus on them.  

It's been a quiet couple of months. P had surgery a few months ago and recovery has been slow. That said, I've traveled a few times, especially around the holidays, and that led to some intense fantasies about being captured or coerced away from home. It's absolutely fun to be tied up at home, but it's also fun to think about being snagged from a parking lot with just the most basic ties. Like zipties around my wrists and ankles, a cloth gag secured with tape, my own scarf as a blindfold so I have no idea where I'm being taken. Fighting to get to my cell phone and just as my fumbling fingers manage to pull it out of my bag, the car stops and I'm hauled away to my fate. Maybe my captor sees my phone, forces me to unlock it with my fingertips, and then uses it to document my punishment for trying to escape. Culminating with a photo sent to my husband of my well-used and creampied pussy, with my legs held up to help me conceive. I know the studies are inconclusive but ever since I saw the movie Election, I've been obsessed with the idea of my legs being held back, willingly or otherwise, after a man has cum in me. Or maybe just Matthew Broderick.   A few men have offered to "rescue" me from a life of being knocked up by a Trump supporter. And I have to admit, a lot of the allure was lost for me after the election, and even more after he took office, and even more after unelected gooner Elon Musk started running the government. Maybe I could be a mail order American bride for someone in Australia or Canada. I have no idea how immigration law works in general and especially not for other countries. Maybe someone tricks me and offers to let me stay with them for a few months in a new country, no strings attached. But once I arrive in my new home, I see the guest bedroom has just a mattress with rope laid out on it. I turn to leave and see my benefactor holding my passport and cell phone. He tells me if I want to stay, I better strip down like a good girl, put a ball gag in my mouth, and handcuff myself. Spending the next few months with my legs wrapped around a stranger, hoping other countries allow anchor babies. Trading one form of servitude for another.   What can I say, the body wants what the body wants.

  Ode to Her First Locking   Her fingers, steady, hold the gleaming steel, A promise whispered, made to feel so real. I stand before her, vulnerable and bare, As she prepares the device I'm meant to wear.   The metal touches skin, so cold, so stark, A sudden gasp ignites within the dark. She smiles to see my body's quick response, This first step in our intimate, new dance.   Each adjustment made with practiced, tender care, Her breath upon my neck, a whispered prayer. The cage slides into place, a perfect fit, As I surrender all control to it.   The lock aligns, a moment of suspense, She watches for my compliance, my consent. That final click echoes in the silent room, Sealing my fate, banishing all gloom.   Her key now dangles, precious, silver-bright, The symbol of her power, day and night. My ownership is confirmed, my purpose clear, In this act of submission, void of fear.   My body now belongs to her alone, This cage of steel a comfort, not a groan. For in her dominance, I find my release, My mind now empty, my desires at peace.   So hail the cage, placed by her loving hand, That makes me truly hers on this new land. For in her control, I'm finally free, To be the man I'm meant to be, with thee.

Absolutely no idea where this came from but it resonates so profoundly!   The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and seeks. The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the drive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation.  They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her, as well as in life. Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;  and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly. These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only grasp the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect.  Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance.  

So I suppose I should expand upon what we are seeking so as not to waste anyone's time. I am absolutely not a Dom or even a switch, not really. Not in kink and not in life. But I am looking for a submissive. Who will let me have my way with them like a spoiled child. I want someone so wrapped around my fingers that even though there really aren't any consequences I can give them, and that even though they could over power me or outsmart me they choose not to they choose every second of their submission wholely over and over again. No matter what I am doing to them they choose me as their princess. A submissive daddy type if you will. And daddys arent controlled with fear and pain and neglect but with love and attention and sweet words...and other tantalizing treats.    I feel this is the type of relationship Westley and Buttercup had. Lol.    Ok I am sure I have done a not so stellar job explaining this but hopefully a bit better then before.    Be well everyone.   As always curious friends are always welcome as well.

Slippery Feet In the shower this morning, I became aware of the lack of feasibility of soaping the soles of my feet. I mean, slippery feet would lead inevitably to a crash. That is where a slave comes to service. Before the delightful tending to My feet with warm water, soap and oil; before the tongue worship; after the ritual request to speak; before the satisfying engagement of eye contact over My toes with the lapping slave as it concentrates with adoration on the removal any dirt and smudges that may be on the soles of My feet; comes the anticipation of pleasure at the sound of warm water being poured into the wash basin that will be used as I recline in comfort. The glance into the eyes on those times its eyes are visible as it labors up and down My soles when, in paroxysms devotion, it applies its tongue to the cleaning project. For Me, not infrequently, pleasure bordering on ecstasy. And so, after I grant permission for slave to humble itself and order a refreshment, I settle back in My recliner to wait in happy anticipation the humble slave, that has become devoid of self; that is self respect, self care, self concern, self aggrandizement certainly, and has become nothing other than an appliance for My pleasure to provide the ablution with exaggerated care to My feet. After it has finished the cleaning it will perform the permission to speak again, but, this time kissing a licking clean feet. Once I grant the honor of speaking to its better, it will express with emphatic enthusiasm gratitude for the opportunity to provide its Master with pleasure. Life as it should be. Master James

Having spoken to you for a few weeks now, we understand each other. Our face to face meeting is at hand. I know what motivates your need to serve and please your man. In the vanilla world, you have confidence - or at least a veneer of confidence you maintain - but internally you feel yourself unsure, uncertain and that sometimes you just want to run away. I pick you up, dust you down with warm encouraging words, embracing you as you feel the strength of me and know I give you care and comfort. I know you. I know your thoughts, I know your experiences and I know what you need from me. I know your hard limits and the agreed safe signals.  We share a strong connection already. We have an emotional bond and an excitement between us as we plan to become a unity, planning our homelife and talking about our values of partnership and family together. I value your intelligence, your feminine elegance and your utter submission to me, only me. Your devotion, loyalty and eagerness to please whilst still maintaining your vanilla pride and confidence - I respect that and appreciate those qualities. You enjoy the guidance I give you, my mentoring, the boundaries that I give you and my affection.  Soon, you will arrive. We have discussed this many times. We know what to expect of each other, and yet, there is still that excitement. I hear footsteps approach my front door ... 

The pacifier falls from his mouth and even before I hear it hit the floor he says, louder than I expected, "I will never fuck you again, Kristen." And almost before he even gets the words out he immediately grunts and convulses. I know he's orgasming before I see the spurts of cum escape out the waistband of his white and baby blue diaper. He has been humping his diaper for less than two minutes, and his inability to last any longer drives me crazy inside. I can’t wait to find my hitachi. His mouth is open and he's breathing heavily. Now that he's cum, I want to drive this new reality. "Now, tell me again M, 'I will never fuck you again.'" He catches his breath, looks at me spent, like a puppy, a sad, broken puppy. Quietly he says, "I will never fuck you again Kristen." I'm not convinced and say, "up on your knees, and say it louder." It is taking all of my strength not to plunge my fingers under my dress and into my underwear as I watch him struggle from sitting to his knees, but I know that immediately post orgasm he needs to be made to understand. "Now, look me in the face and tell me you agree and accept that you will never have sex with me again." I see it now, conviction in his eyes, he has accepted it and the moment hits me like a ton of bricks. This feels more significant than when he said, "I do" years ago. He goes a step beyond...I am again so proud of him. So proud where I have been able to direct us.  M looks me in the face, crosses his arms behind his back grabbing his forearms, straightens himself...   "K, I willingly agree and whole heartedly accept that we will never again have sex. I fully accept that we have crossed a line and cannot go back. I am yours. I love you, I want this for you, I want this for us."  I can't stand it...I am torn by the most arousal I have ever felt between my legs and the bursting emotion inside my chest. I tear up, get on my knees with him and wrap my arms around him, we hug for a long time. When we let go we both have tears on our cheeks. "I love you" I say. "I love you" he says. 

What is wrong with people? So once again I find myself here, trying to fathom out what has happened. A certain someone from here has decided that after a protracted conversation my being polite and making sensible concessions is my being not what they seek. Honestly. This is who I am, manners cost nothing yet form the basis of my being.  I use them in everyday life and conversation and they have served me well.  Yet here once again I am faced with them being seen as negative. Where are the people on here who want to be treated like real human beings, with respect, honour, and morality? If my being me and using manners is going to offend then step away. If my asking questions is not for you then don't approach. If I want to build trust and you don't then look elsewhere. Rant over!

The Lesson in the Red Chair (part one) T.L. Duncan He showed up trembling. Not from fear—at least, not the kind he admitted—but from the anticipation he’d been drowning in for weeks. Every message he sent dripped with eagerness, with that hungry little please he tried to hide behind politeness. I opened the door before he had a chance to knock twice. “Inside,” I told him. He obeyed instantly, the good ones always do. My living room was dim, lit only by the soft glow of the salt lamp and the single, deliberate spotlight shining down on the red leather chair in the center of the room. That chair wasn’t decorative. That chair was ritual. “Shoes off.” He complied. “Phone on the table.” Another instant reaction. Good. His training hadn’t even begun and he already understood offering control. I circled him slowly, letting silence do the work. The air between us tightened when I brushed a strand of hair behind his ear—not to comfort him, but to claim space. His breath hitched, and that was when I knew: he’d fall beautifully. I stopped in front of him. “You said you wanted structure,” I said. “Discipline. To feel owned for one hour.” His gaze dropped to the floor. “Yes, Ma’am.” “Look at me.” He obeyed again, the word Ma’am still warm in the air. I placed a finger under his chin. “Then you’ll start by kneeling.” He sank to the floor so fast I almost laughed. Not cruelly—just with the quiet satisfaction of someone who has seen this dance a thousand times and still enjoys every second. “Knees apart. Hands behind your back. Shoulders straight.” He adjusted three times before he got it right. Nervous boys forget how their bodies work when they’re desperate. I walked behind him, lifted his hair, and inspected the vulnerable line of his neck. “So sensitive,” I murmured. “If I pressed my thumb here, you’d melt.” He swallowed hard. I didn’t touch him yet. Not physically. Instead, I moved to the red chair, sat down, and crossed my legs with deliberate slowness. “Crawl.” He hesitated, only for a breath. Then he placed his palms on the floor and moved toward me like he’d been waiting his whole life to be commanded that way. His breath shook with every inch he traveled. When he reached the foot of the chair, he stopped and waited. “Good,” I said, letting the approval slide over him like warm oil. “Now put your head on my knee.” He rested his cheek against my thigh as if it were a pillow he’d spent years searching for. His exhale was a confession. I stroked his hair once—reward, not affection. “You crave rules because the world expaspects you to be strong,” I said softly. “But here, strength is mine. Obedience is yours.” “Yes, Ma’am…” “And you take direction beautifully. That’s why I chose you for tonight.” His whole body trembled. I slipped my fingers into his hair and pulled his head back—not harsh, not gentle, but precise. His lips parted, surprise and need blending into something addictive. “There are three things you’re going to learn,” I told him. “One: listen when I speak. Two: obey the first time. Three…” I leaned in, my breath barely brushing his ear. “Never make me repeat myself unless you want consequences.” A shiver shot through him so sharp it might as well have been an orgasm. I smiled. “Now,” I said, loosening my hand but not releasing him. “Your lesson begins.” His head was still in my lap when I slid my hand from his hair to the back of his neck. He froze. Not from fear—no, he was far past that—but from the realization that he had no idea what would happen next. Good. Uncertainty is the first tool of sensory play. “Hands flat on your thighs,” I instructed. His palms landed instantly, but I tapped one with a single finger. “Softer. You’re not bracing for impact. You’re waiting for permission.” He corrected himself. Obedient. Attentive. Hungry. I reached to the side table, slowly enough that he heard my bracelets shift but not fast enough to interpret the sound. His breathing changed—shorter, quicker—as his imagination sprinted ahead of me. Let it. The first thing I picked up was the silk scarf. Not to blindfold him. Not yet. I simply let the fabric glide across his forearm. He inhaled sharply. “Too sensitive?” I teased. “No, Ma’am. Just… unexpected.” “Good. That’s the point.” I drew the silk back, then traced the same path with my fingertip—cooler, firmer, more precise. His skin twitched under the contrast. “Tell me what you feel,” I said. “Soft… then colder. Like my body’s trying to guess you before you touch me.” “Your body doesn’t get to guess. It gets to react.” He shivered, a subtle ripple that traveled from shoulder to knee. I reached again—this time to the small wooden wand, smooth on one end, textured on the other. I let him hear it roll across my palm. His breath caught; he recognized the sound but couldn’t place it. Perfect. I touched his wrist with the cool, rounded end. He sucked in a breath. Then I flipped it and dragged the textured side down the same line. He gasped—quiet, but the kind of sound a man makes when his brain can’t decide between pleasure and restraint. “Overwhelming?” I asked, lifting his chin with the wand. “Yes, Ma’am…” “Too much?” “No, Ma’am. More.” “Then you’ll stay still for it.” He nodded, and I rewarded him by letting the wand trail up his inner arm—slow, deliberate, circling closer to the bend of his elbow. He swallowed. He always swallowed when he was fighting the urge to

After my first marriage to a cheater, I developed the confidence to start exploring bondage. I have a strong need for connection with a lover. Random hook-ups don't feel right to me. On the other hand, I love to flirt and have no problem meeting people anytime, anywhere. To balance this out, I experimented with chastity, both mental and physical. Around this time I made some good looking friends who got me comfortable with showing off my body for them. This was all very exciting but was not matching my desire for a relationship built on trust that includes times of intense sexual expression. I wanted to have a bondage partner that was as strong minded and aggressive as I was.With years of searching, it is dawning on me that my natural manner attracts compassionate and often sexually submissive women. My hidden desire is to be the submissive partner, however, I wanted to feel my submission during daily life rather than in the bedroom, without squashing my masculine personality. I'm searching for an unusual balance where I am appreciated for being a responsible man navigating every day life but with my happy partner having the power to flip my switch into a lusty and aggressive lover who will pin her down and take us both into sexual adventures in bondage and submission. I am now picturing a scenario in which my I commit to someone by surrendering the keys to my chastity belt. On days of her choosing, she provides me an opportunity for freedom knowing that I am quite frustrated with lust for her. This is my license to drop my normal demeanor and become a little meaner, taking what I need in the way that I want. When the time to revert to public persona returns, it is understood that she should claim the keys and remind me that I belong only to her. This is what I might term a submissive led switch, with the role-reversal determined by the woman not by playing domme but by choosing to let the dogs out! Yes, I want to have to freedom to using my ability to capture and dominate, but I don't want to have to suppress my desire to do so. If I hand you the keys, I want us to be comfortable knowing that when sex happens, it happens only because you want it to happen. You will know I am always ready when you are because you are my only release.

I am an experienced master with many years in the lifestyle. I have led a poly house in the past and i have had several slaves. What i seek now is both ambitious and challenging.  For me as well as for you. I wish to build the family I no longer have. I desire to build it around the BDSM lifestyle that I have chosen to live.  I have a small ranch in west Texas. It is a labor of love and endurance. I seek those that desire to part of something larger than themselves. Greater than any one person, even myself.  While at the same time meeting the needs of Master/slave relationships.  It can be both long or short term engagements. Although I prefer long term and those that would desire to wear my brand. Gender and orientation is immaterial. I desire slaves, males and females for manual labor and maintenance. I seek domestic service slaves for care and upkeep of the households. I seek service slaves for the care and upkeep of the workers. I desire business minded professionals to develop the ranch to be profitable, and working slaves (even if outside the ranch) to contribute to that profitability and sustainability. Singles and couples, a place can be found for you. Whether a short term, learning and training opportunity or forever home. Abilities and skills determined. Used and useful. This is not about free labor, free sex or free anything. It is having a place, a home, acceptance and being needed. The brand is not something you earn. It is something that is to be lived up to every day. It is second chances. It is defiance of norms. It is surviving the coming storms.  Chains and cages? Of course! Not just physical ones, but on your mind and heart as well. Whips and canes? Lol. Try me and find out.  All i ask is that you look inside yourself. It is not about whether you think you are worthy or capable. You do not get to make that determination. That is always for others to determine.  Even as a Master has to prove they are capable of leading and being looked up to, worthy of submission, obedience and reverence.  I would love your feed back and constructive criticism is welcome.  Help me determine what this should look like to be successful and sustainable. 

What I want...(I did not write this but it rings true for me).  I want flowers. I want to whip you. I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes. I want respect and awe and understanding and love. I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs. I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait. I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly. I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses. I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me. I want affection and cuddling. I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk. I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart. I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you. I want humor and debate and dialog. I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back. I want to see you crawl – just for me. I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come. I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you. I want.... You.                                                                                              

As far back as I can remember, I've had a compulsion to be with alpha males. Even as young as 6 or 7, I remember fantasizing what it would be like to be kidnapped by men, tied up and taken away. I suppose that says something about my early childhood, but what difference does that make now. And it wasn't that I hated my family. I just wanted to be the property of a strong older man.    Somewhere around that time I began trying self bondage. I would take my mother's supply of ace bandages, go up into the hot, humid attic and tie myself as best I could and fantasize about being some man's captive. Occasionally I would hear “what are you doing up there” and I'd have to spit the sock out of my mouth and come up with some passable answer. I don't remember ever getting caught but there were many near-misses.   We lived directly across from a factory where my father worked and from my bedroom I could watch all these macho blue collar workers file in clean and then file out sweaty and dirty. I was always mesmerized, especially when they were sweaty and dirty.    I'm rusty these days and not as agile as I used to be, but serious bondage was always one of my favorite fetishes. People would ask why and I would always say “there's freedom in bondage.” Freedom to go within and see what you can take and how much deeper you can go in your submission. And then there's the freedom of letting someone I trust take control of me and make my decisions for me.   I've always been hard-wired to be submissive to superior men. It's my nature. To be in the service of men is still the driving force in my life.   If you're reading this far and find yourself interested, I appreciate that deeply but I'm not available at the moment. I'm caring for an 80+ year-old Dom that I've known forever. I'm not even in the US. I park myself in Nevada on this site because there are very few people who understand my needs where I am.   I've been on this site for almost 10 years. First journal entry because I'm bored and a bit lonesome at times. I still feel the need to be owned and probably always will. I'll just have to be patient like a good sub.

I am not ashamed to admit that this morning I was in a Neil Diamond mood. I have weeks where I am singing Cracklin' Rosie all day. Not so much lately, hence the need. I have my favorites and the songs I skip over. I play Forever in Blue Jeans twice. So I am driving to work, merging with people who don't know how to merge, and a song queues up that I would normally skip over. But I was clueless merging so I wasn't paying attention. And then I hear the words. Far. We've been traveling far. Without a home. But not without a star.  All of the sudden I start tearing up thinking about how people left everything and everyone for an unknown, optimistic opportunity. And the song goes on.  Free. Only want to be free. We huddle close. Hang onto a dream.  At this point I am full on ugly crying with red rimmed eyes, sniffling, trying to see because I'm driving around a bend, and I'm coming up to the parking lot a red rimmed, sniffling mess. Deep breaths. Composure. Skip Heartlight today and for all eternity. Head into work. Tell me it's not just me? If you say I'm hormonal I will deck you. 

Simple Life For A slave Written by submissive4dominant its a simple life for a slave. it is removed from the trails and tribulations of the world, it just has one focus, one thing to concentrate its attention on…Master. it can only do its best to follow every order to make life for Master as comfortable, pleasurable and easy as possible. Master has to think, it just has to do.  it has spent the day cleaning, preparing food, working out to make its body attractive for Master, meditating and focusing on how it can be a better slave, maybe practising a new skill it has been told to learn. A text alerts it to the fact that Master is 5 minutes away so it pours His favourite wine and kneels by the door, head bowed.  What happens next will depend on Masters mood. Mostly He will grab the wine, dump His briefcase for the slave to put away and slump onto the sofa. Unless ordered otherwise, the slave will crawl over and carefully remove Masters shoes and give Him an expert foot rub, whilst Master drinks and comes down from the stresses of the day. Of course if it has been a particularly bad day Master might need a different form of attention, need to get rid of His frustrations before He can truly relax. A slap to the kneeling slave as He comes in is the signal that it should go and position itself below the frame, offer its body for Master to release His tension on.  Yes, its a simple life. the slave just needs to live in the moment, it never knows what to expect, doesn’t need to..it just accepts, just obeys. Will it be slapped, will it be stroked…it doesn’t matter each comforts it, lets it know it is fulfilling its purpose in life. 

As an enticement Here are two decsriptions that I is did actually did perform and enjoy. That are not requirements, but a reflection of creativity and strength and fun. Perhaps these may motivate your interest   Tale 1 Years ago I was working professionally as a Dominant. My clientele typically were well off, all female, and seeking release from their careers. One in particular was seeking to be very much brought down in a submissive manner so that she could see herself and decide if that submission needed to be part of her life. One weekend, and yes, it was a stormy winter night, I went to her palatial home as arranged. The mood was to be very dark and I was to be dominant and very unyielding. She had only one way out of any situation, that was to ring a bell tied around her hand. That said, she was prepared for depths of dominance...... upon arrival, she was awaiting as instructed. Leather slave harness, well heeled thigh boots and kneeling in the entry way. I asked her if she was prepared and ready... she said yes. I placed my bag down, ball gagged her from behind, and clamped her nipples. She had a fine body and was already aroused. I place a posture collar on her and leashed her and made her follow me to her special room. Over the course of our encounters she had setup her own dungeon in her own place. There I stood her facing me and bound her limbs to the cross tightly. I then roped her to the cross at various points of her body so that her weight could be taken. For the next 2 hrs about, if flogged her, vibed her, made her orgasam at my will, and did what I wanted with her until she collapsed in her bondage. She knew this was the goal. After 2 hrs She was exhausted and emotional.... still though, she was defiant in verbiage to me as I worked with, but I always at all times called her how on her defiance and punished her for it. Seeking to drive her to submission forcibly was the mutual desired goal. In the end she did yield, where upon I released her and made her kneel properly holding by her hair roughly to the position. I removed the gag, and place a tight pvc hood upon her and regagged her with an in mouth penis gag. I then took her to a floor stock where she was bound and restricted at the arms, body, neck. I then plugged her ass with a plug and then placed a lubed fucking machine dildo in her and switched it on..... I told her she had to endure 2 hrs of forced fucking by an unyielding mechanical device or until she admitted she was a worthless cunt that was good only for fucking. This was a trigger phrase for her that she knew if she said it would allow her to descend mentally to the state she wanted to discover...... I sat in a chair and enjoyed controlling the unrelenting machine using her...... Interesting enough she lasted only one hour where upon sweating, and having orgasamed 5 times she begged for mercy and said her phrase and rang the bell in a believable manner. I release her and sat back in the chair an watched. She crawled to me..... rubbing her face against my boots, but pointed to her gag to be removed..... I did, and she at her own initiative said she was now truly a fucktoy, and cumslut slave craving only the release in submission she so desperately wanted..... I permitted her to orally pleasure me to seal the deal in her mind.

In realms where strength meets humble grace, Submission finds its chosen space. A choice to yield, not weak but strong, In trusting hearts where love belongs.   It's not a surrender to despair, But a gift of trust, a love affair. A dance of souls, a subtle art, Where two as one find a brand-new start.   In nature's realm, the river bends, To flow with grace, it condescends. To mountains tall, it bows its stream, Submission's beauty, a tranquil dream.   In love's embrace, we often find, Submission's power, so intertwined. To give, to serve, to empathize, In these acts, our love shall rise.   Submission's not about defeat, But a choice to make love complete. In vulnerability, we find connection, Submission's path, a deep affection.   So let us honor this noble creed, Where love and trust plant a fertile seed. In submission's embrace, we stand tall, Together we rise, for love conquers all.  

7/30/2024 7:35:16 PM Well, well, well... A very deep and sometimes disturbing subject indeed!   I've had the need to take some time off.  I've been duped and while it is hard to admit that a woman of My age and intellect has been bamboozeled, I'm comforted knowing that this type of thing happens to many of us, most especially when we are vulnerable due to life circumstances or state of mind and that I shall be wiser for the game played.     While undertaking the supreme challenge of finding a right sub for Myself, I happened upon the GREATEST ONLINE MINDFUCKER that ever was and I discovered he has been playing around here and Fet for over 20 plus years and at least 39 profiles on CollarSpace to date!!!   VICTORY!  I finally was able to find them out though I must say I was led on a not-so-merry chase full of intrigue and suspense, aliens, judges, the government, medical organizations and secret societies! LOL  It takes all sorts.   After all, I have to laugh at Myself and how vulnerable My state of mind must be to have gone down that rabbit hole. I would not change the knowledge gained through the experience though I am seriously butt sore.   NEEDLESS TO SAY, ANY DOMINANT SLAVE OR SUB MAN READING THIS WILL PROVE YOURSELF OR PASS ME BY.   I have a phone, pictures, telegraph, google chat, skype and every other possible means of communication and verification including but not limited to a car! We chat, we verify, we meet or part.  

Okay. Okay. I need to get some things off of my chest. Now that I have had some conversations, met a few people, I just want to say that I have standards and I would want my Dom to also be a person of standards. What do I mean by that? I make the effort to always be clean, smelling nice, looking pretty, etc. The bare minimum should be that my Dom takes some care of himself. I like when a man has taken the time to get a haircut,I like it when I can smell cologne on your skin, and after 11 years of trying to change a person, I realized that I indeed changed. We didn't want the same things and I got so tired of trying to convince someone to take care of themselveswhen I'm a fucking mess myself. Like, I need, absolutely crave Daddy but I haven't found him yet. If you're serious about something 24/7 and this is not strictly a kink for you, we might have some things in common. I've noticed some red flags one is that the people I was communicating with, they always want to be called Daddy and like, no. You're not my Dom, I don't know you like that, things take time to develop. Also, if you're weird, Do not bother. For example, I'm not into pantyhose and for one person, that was a deal breaker. Good. Keep that shit away from me. I'm trying to find my perfect match on every level. Also, I don't want your money, I have my own. It might not be a lot but I am not interested in any weird financial stuff. I'm trying to get my shit together in the real world. And all I want is Daddy. I don't think anyone understands how fucking primal that urge has become for me. But please don't come on too strong. Give me time. I'm thinking about a normal conversation here, then on text. Then the phone. Then a video call. You see what I'm doing here? Look if things went well maybe I fly out for a fun weekend. I don't know but I'm open.

slave knows no gender, has no expectations, lives to please its betters, keeps its Owner always in mind, knows and expresses gratitude among other things. The slave reading this probably feels inadequate with out the ability to ever 'measure up.' And, well it should. However, I have never found a slave that adequately fills the above list of particulars. So, I expect to devote much energy and time to training; maybe a life time. Do not worry about coming to Me as a finished, accomplished slave. Rather, come to Me with an abiding need to be subsumed in devotion and service. Everything else can follow. Master James

I have always said I do not want a 24/7 kink relationship.  I fear that I will lose me. The me that I took so long to understand and love.  But I was recently communicating with a Master who was looking for just such a relationship.  My initial thought was I don't want that and we discussed it and that prompted me to do alot more thinking on the matter. I am already seeking someone who can take charge and lead. Someone who can help silence my racing thoughts and set my mind free. Someone who will treat me like the special person I am and bring out my full submission and dedication.  Now I wonder if I am letting my fear hold me back. That is typical for me, to be honest.  Maybe 24/7 is what I need. Maybe I just don't understand my needs.  I wonder if meeting the right person would mean there will be no more questions. Maybe with the right one there would be no question about my full and freely given submission. No more worry about losing a part of myself.  Maybe........ XOXOXO

Personal growth is the evolution of the mind to catch up with our soul. It comes in stages. For some it takes a while for others it's their daily obligation to themselves. One must sit back each evening after the sun has set and before the stars have risen. Take advantage of this purgatory moment in the heavens to lose oneself inside their being. Drift through the thoughts of the day gone by and squarely face it for all it was as we search for the answers of what it could be. Inspect ourselves for the quality we expect and demand of ourselves. Find errors in our ways and vow to be more mindful of tomorrow. For tomorrow is only a day away.  And hence the process proceeds as the journey continues.  Never ending, never arriving at our destination but always traveling.  Being mindful of the journey and appreciating the ability we have to be able to travel. Sometimes alone, sometimes in the company of others. At times even in the company of others but alone and lost within ourselves. Yet always traveling. The road blocks we encounter may sometimes lead us astray but never stopping us unless we allow them.  It is not only our obligation to meet them head on but to also overcome them with speed and efficiency. If not for us for the others in our lives. So take the moments when you can. Lose yourself and search your very depths and face your humanity as often as possible. Find the strength to look at yourself flaws and all and the courage to admit your weaknesses. Mistakes are just flaws not repaired.  Just like a pencil has an eraser to clean an error, let acknowledgement be yours.

i tried to make a post about lilith earlier like i did on reddit but this site ho'd me and didn't post it after posting it was already posted. oh well. trust me if you go on reddit or otherwise it's there.   I think I've mentioned it before on here that I am above average with astrology, but I'm not an astrologer. I've never been trained on how to actually read the charts, how to make the charts. I've never taken any classes on it. What I've learned is simply through grit and connecting with other novices and pulling together information. and just amalgamating slash being alchemical And bare bonesing it, you know, like raw dogging it. But as I've shared on my previous points. my intuition is like Doja cats lyrics. Trust me, I got magical foresight. so I might not have all the understanding in three D of the words, the vernacular, the structure, the format, the step by step to do things. especially with people that are more versed in these esoteric and magic school and mystery school or any of these long standing principles and all the stuff in the mystic spiritual magic world, right?   It's like the vibe of not being a pedigree, but being a scrappy, rough misfit. LOL.   So I know more than the average person about astrology, but in the world of astrologers, I know nothing.       I've been riding extremely about this balance and holding the line when it comes to how the. Michael male divine energy engages with the feminine. Sophia Divine feminine original source energy. And because in this life I'm alternative, I'm kinky. I'm. BDSM y. I'm polyamory. in a world where I was meant to be in the sauce and I was meant to be. physically engaging with people in a romantic sexual. real life kind of realm. categorizing myself in my past experiences. But before I came to realize I'm supposed to be more of a teacher and I'm not supposed to really hold that. because when you start holding that, you lose the higher perspective. You lose like the higher realm of it. right? but before I figured that out and I was trying to get lost in the sauce, I've always. expressed relating to the opposite sex in a very Non mainstream way. So it's like, as I continue to write the way that my divine feminine resonates on Earth is with the other alternative girls. I'm connected to the divine feminine with the dark goddess energy, with the bad babe energy. with the girlies who are with the mafia vibe, who are with the gangsters who are with the dominance, who are with the. people running the emotional, physical, mental, sexual. edge.   Just like cyberpunk. 2077. I'm with the edge runners. Not all women are like that. Most women aren't like that. Not all men are like that. A lot of men aren't like that. And in the spiritual world, I have found most of them are very love and light and asexual to begin with. So it's like the way. I'm channeling this message is for a very unique small subset of people. But even in the confusion and stuff, I know what I'm seeing. I know what I'm I'm supposed to write about. I know I'm supposed to say I know the message that I'm spreading even. if I don't necessarily know who I'm supposed to spread it to. I know I got the goods. Deep down. and even if these goods never turn into anything but these notes like I know that there's something magic going on. Hashtag being a projector, hashtag being a instinctual spleen at projector hashtag having the juxtaposition cross of assimilation bringing in crazy ass concepts that are forward thinking. so ka. so desu ne. Unrelated side note. Because I am an anime snob I do not like the digital animation and the styling. Of the I watched this show because I am deeply into the fandom. I literally not being facetious, but probably two years straight watching over 15 people play the game as much as. much as they completed it and I have never seen anyone complete the game. I saw one person on You Tube from Australia that was a lady get very close to completing the game but then felt pressured to do phantom liberty without finding all the side missions and side things and stopped to go to Phantom Liberty to appease her. fandom. but yes, I went very deep into this whole lore of cyberpunk. and so I felt I needed to watch this show in order to honor the essence of it and the message that this amazing franchise had and I Like I do most modern anime was slightly disappointed. Didn't feel much from it. Got a little bit from it, but a lot of people love how that style of medium of art is nowadays. And I'm on purpose, not on the same. not on the same vibe. I went to a club that was anime based. And I came across a younger guy. that was still an adult, obviously. But he said, I'm stuck in the past and I said yes on purpose. and he was like the 90s and I was like actually to be specific. I'm stuck in the 1970s to 2005 talking about bigger concepts like Leji matsumoso Galaxy Express 999. space operas. Tenchi muyo slayers. ah megumi sama sailor moon, serial experiments lain, neon genisis evangelion, even lighter stuff like mermaid melody pichi pichi, metropolsis the ova. When I look at something, I'm looking to learn to expand my soul, grow, get the channeled message. I'm not here for shits and giggles and fun. 99% of the time when I'm consuming, it's like I'm doing this as an unpaid job, like as a message. So this stuff nowadays that I've been introduced to does not have a message. So I do not relate to it. I'm a bad girly with a mission. And I'm very serious about it. And because I'm human, I might go astray. I might slip. I might fall, but I'm always straight back to the motherfucking mission in the day.   I'm always going to be talking about relationships and sexuality and spirituality and all that, because I've literally my entire adult life, have been wired that way. And I was. probably starting to get trained to do that when I was a minor in. probably more appropriate manners. and spirit. But I just been feeling like this message of unity on your sovereign path and not getting lost in the entanglement and the ties....passion....of sexuality and fleetingness of of. obsession and fixation and getting off track because of the pool of what the opposite person might do. And St true to you and like holding into that and seeing how so many women, especially because when you're on the edge, you're dealing with More intense chemicals in your body. You're dealing with more power play. You're dealing with it on a higher level than the average person. It's like I I've just been like talking about getting in the sauce and how it it leads to at least on the woman's side cause I'm a woman, then being down bad and their lives literally ruined like either physically, mentally, emotionally. Unfortunately, sometimes sexually, like that's the the gamble playing on the edge that when you fall, you fall harder than someone that's just totting the line. But because the dark goddesses are out there seeking truth on deeper depth and dark corners, they're willing to take that risk. I'm assuming, you know, you guys, I guess I'll call you dark gods. I have an awareness, but again, I just don't have a penis. I don't have that energetic masculine quality. I'm more of a panther. You guys are more like lions. Like III see it, but I just really can't tap into it. I can only observe. So I'm guessing same thing for y'all, but I can't say it from the core of my soul because that's just not what I was meant to do this time around. And a parmy hates to say stuff that isn't 100 percent confirmed. LOL. To the best of my confirmation at least, or to the best of my sourcing.   All this to say, my astrology hasn't gone to the level of looking at the transits or the. conjunctions. I know what they are. I can read when I see it on a chart, but it's not something I know how to make my own. It's

You are a set apart,State of the art,Work of art.That is written into my birth chart,To be your sexpot.To bask in your sunspotAnd become empty like a brain fart.To exist as your pleasurebot;Drive your applecartInto my fertile seedplot.Every single body partIs tailored to be your playspot.I yearn for your cum shotInto my honey pot,And for the squeeze of a slipknotThat will sting like Cupid's dartAnd for the most important partTo be unto you a decadent slave heart. ~dirtydarling

DRAMA FREE ZONE! About Me BDSM ROCKS Music: Rock- classic/hard/metal, country, rockabilly, blues and jazz etc. Movies: I like movies that make me laugh or keep me on edge. TV: Game of Thrones. Dexter. The Vikings. I HATE reality shows. Handmaids Tale. Keeping up Appearances. MOM. The Goldbergs. Call the Midwife. Vikings Valhalla. Sports: OHIO STATE! Interests: Harleys, Music, Bands, Spring/Fall and Winter, I dislike summer. Hate to sweat (menopause is a bitch), Budweiser Beer, Mountains, History, Earth, Space, Camping, auctions, flea markets, technology, coasters and tattoos. BDSM and Poly Dreams: I dream of a relaxed, exciting, smart, silly, not too shy, not toooo friendly, honest, affectionate, reality-based, eager to learn, eager to teach, kinda cute, kinda funny but not funny looking explorer to share days, nights, weekends, adventures, conversations, dinners, breakfasts, kisses, good food and dreams of things to come. Bad boys with tattoos! Dominates! Best Features: My brain and the person I am. I have a killer personality. About Me: "Some guys don't like girls like me, Awwww but some guys do". I am a God-fearing woman. I am eclectic, eccentric, and scatter-brained with a touch of ADHD. I love to ride. Though I do not personally own a bike, I ride every chance I get with friends. I think the government hides more from us than we can imagine. I drink and sometimes am tooo honest and say things I should not. I was raised an only girl with 3 brothers, I am the oldest but to them, I am always gonna be " Baby Sis". I can be a best friend or partner in crime. I'll help you move. Hell, I'll even help you move a body. I expect help when I move though. I keep my circle of friends small but close. My friends don't all know each other but all have the same mindset. I'd like to one day be traveling in one of those RV's. Or live in a castle complete with a dungeon. Where to find me: Where can I find You? Things that SUCK: Perverts, rapists, child molesters, Sharia Law, terrorists, Full page comments, Chain letter comments, Auto-play - Nuff said, 20 year old girls from Malaysia contacting 47 year old guys from USA., Happy clowns, spiders, racist scum, Political correctness, Being alone, Men who don't love me, Mushrooms (unless they are trippy) and onions, Heavy Rap, Hoppy Beers, Junkies, Narrow minded assholes, Dishonesty, Seeds, Having the wrong lottery numbers, Rent payments, Car payments, Wars over Bullshit, Summer, Celibacy, Traffic, CEO's, LEO's , Getting old, Laundry, Serial killers, Random killers, Killers, Taxes, Reality shows, Politics, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Rieley, Extremists of all sorts, high shipping prices, stalkers. Jail. More things that suck: Summer, Stems, Mean drunks, Parking tickets, Viruses on porn sites, losing at anything, The heroin dealing assholes of everywhere!, Jaeger bombs, Nazis, Not getting flirty tags, 9/11/2001, Lost loved ones, Katrina, Calling a spade a club, Packing and moving, animal abusers, Thinking everything sucks Things that rock: Friends and family who love me, Blue purple, green and black, Free tv and movies, Fine agriculture, Being in the mountains, Chinese food, Being cool, My woman cave, Me, My friends, Being in love, Sex, Life, My Family, Rock & roll, Humor, Good vodka and pineapple rum, Little Beers, winning a game, Smiling people, Tattoos, All of my friends which are far and in between due to people being jackasses. Finding my REAL dominant to train me properly.

Okay let's try this again.  Kicked off the month with the headlight. Not long after that I am pulling into a space at work and a wheel well cover thing falls off of my car. I've been driving around without it, no idea how important it is but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. Follow that up with taking the trash out one night and the bin hitting and cracking the rear tail light of the car. Perfect.  Let's move beyond the car, shall we? I'm hosting all of my parents for Thanksgiving. For the week, really. I plan out a full menu, hit several stores for every ingredient. Buy a giant turkey so I can make things like turkey soup and turkey pot pie afterwards. Two days before T Day one parent gets covid. The next day another parent gets covid. They aren't coming. I'm down to one parent showing up and roughly four bajillion dollars worth of food. Sigh. But okay, their covid symptoms aren't too horrible and that's what really matters, so let's get back to me. I power through. Fancy Tuesday night dinner. Afterwards I brine the turkey. It's going great, I'm nearly done, just need to add a little more water to top it off. I turn to the sink to finish. And that's when the brine bag tipped over and a river of salty herbal apple cider rushed over and into every nearby surface. At 10:00 at night. There's a lake on the stove. I don't mean a splash of liquid, there's depth to it. A tsunami flowed over the stove, between the stove and counter, all over the counter, into drawers, down into cabinets, and onto the kitchen mats and the floor. Did I mention it's 10:00? Right. Thankfully the entire bag didn't tilt so I refill and hope for the best so I can start kitchen recovery. An hour and an entire roll of paper towels later, I have emptied full drawers into the sink, pulled the stove out to sop up brine and all the herbs down the sides of the stove and counter, washed the floor. And all I can do is laugh, because November is kicking my ass.  But wait, there's more. My dad is in charge of the pie. He brought some ingredients, can't find them, asks me to look through his things. Sure, I can do that. Unzip compartments to take a peek. What am I looking at? It doesn't fully register and I nearly put  my hand in to pull it out. Then it hits me. These are sex toys. Big fucking EW. Why would he not remember that there are things in a bag his daughter probably doesn't want to see? November is trying to kill me.  I met a man. He was interesting and I liked him more than I planned to. Besides being a nice person, we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things, and that's rare for me. And then he disappeared. Then reappeared. Then disappeared again. I'm chalking it up to bad timing. Oddly enough, the most recent ex is sniffing around. A lot. I have no idea what to do with that.  If CS had not been hungry and eaten the original version, you would have also read about the work thing, the arguments with my dad, and my traitor dog. And there would have been comedy sprinkled throughout. But I'm tired. So this is a poor second attempt to document why November is the absolute worst and there are still several days left. I give up. November wins. 

Alot has changed since I first created our profile. What I have noticed over the past year or so since I last checked in is that is still many of the same faces.  People I suspect want the idea, but are too afraid to go for it when it is in front of them. So, what we are looking for also has changed.  I was looking to add to a poly family.  Well that part is done as there are now three of us under one roof. What we since decided is to find someone (female) who desires a complete loss of herself not for sensual BDSM, but for complete enslavement. The person who seek would be looking to disappear from society, and be locked away, perhaps never being allowed to leave our dungeon and your new home. In this role, you will spend many hours in bondage or caged, except when one of us decides we wish to enjoy your flesh for our pleasure.  That pleasure being anything from using you for our sexual gratification, to being tortured just so we can hear you cry or beg for it to be over, to simply clean the floor on hands and knees. Is this what you desire?  Seriously, because many people think it is, but few can really accept that they are offering themselves to a sadist who finds love only in hearing cries and whimpers.  Who favors the sound of leather agaist flesh over sweet 'I love yous'.  Many profiiles will read like this I suspect, yet less actually have experience in doing just that.  So, if you really want to atone for what ever sin you have done (and I could care less what that sin is), then lets talk.  If you want to be used while reminded what a worthless piece of crap you are, then your the woman we seek.

The House Doctrine of Master George Part 1 of 2 A Journal Entry for the Instruction of Slaves and the Record of My Household Philosophy Preamble To be a slave in my household is to make a deliberate and life-altering choice. This is not casual D/s, nor is it a temporary thrill that fades when the mood passes. It is a structured, enduring commitment where the Master commands completely and the slave obeys without hesitation. This arrangement is built on mutual understanding: the slave gives themselves fully, and in return receives structure, protection, and belonging that few will ever know. The relationship I offer is rooted in the tradition of Total Power Exchange (TPE), but refined through years of leadership, discipline, and the lessons learned from both military command and the guidance of households past. Here, slavery is not a costume worn for a scene — it is a state of being, a way of life. The Five Axioms of a Slave Every slave who serves under me must learn and live by these five axioms. They are the foundation of service in my house, and they are not negotiable. Excellence in Service – A slave serves with excellence in all things while striving always for perfection. Mediocrity has no place here. Truth in All Things – A slave is fully revealing about all matters at all times to the Master. There is no secrecy, no hidden truth. Service Without Reservation – A slave serves without humiliation, hesitation, reservation, embarrassment, modesty, or shame. Their body, mind, and time are all for the Master’s use. Surrender of the Self – Before a slave can surrender to the Master, they must first surrender to themselves, accepting their nature without resistance. Property of the Master – A slave is property; therefore, their Master’s pleasure and use come first and foremost in all things. The Benefits of Being My Slave To kneel for me is not to lose yourself — it is to find the truest version of who you are meant to be. Under my collar, a slave gains far more than they surrender. Structure and Stability In my house, you will never wonder where you stand. Rules are clear, discipline is consistent, and leadership is unwavering. There is no confusion about your role or purpose — you will always know exactly what is expected of you. A Defined Identity Once I claim you, your identity as “slave” becomes absolute. It is not a game, not a temporary title. It becomes who you are, and in that identity, you will find clarity and certainty. Protection and Security My authority is both shield and sword. Under my command, you are guarded from outside harm, defended against disrespect, and guided through life’s storms. My rules are not just for control — they are for your safety and well-being. Growth Through Discipline I am not a Master who allows stagnation. I will push you to improve, to master new skills, to refine your service until it reaches the standard I demand. Weakness will be stripped away. Strength will be cultivated. A Bond Deeper Than Equals I will know you in every detail — your habits, your triggers, your limits, and your strengths. Our connection will be forged through shared trials, daily service, and unbroken loyalty. This bond will not be casual; it will be absolute. Belonging to Something Greater This is not a solitary arrangement. My household is a structure with hierarchy, purpose, and unity. As my slave, you join something larger than yourself. You contribute to the maintenance, honor, and legacy of this house. ******* see part 2 of 2 for the rest

Hmm let's see it is now 2022, so a lot have time has passed between my last real post. So many things have gone on in my life since then. In 2019 I took part in the World Transplant Games in the UK. That was a hell of a trip. Spent a few days in London, then went north to Yorkshire, to the land of James Herriot, Castle Howard, and my friends farm. I spent 5 days helping take care of their herd of pigs. Can't wait to go back. I return to London for my last 9 days and ate great food, saw amazing things, and got to see New Japan Pro Wrestling do their first show in England. Got home just before second year started. my next games are next year in Perth Australia. I will be cycling I will have a 5k time trial, a 20km team time trial, and another 30k time trial. Boy my legs are going to hate me. I had a pair of custom painted shoes done just for the games. I am hoping to be able to get a racing suit and a helmet wrapped in the same pattern.  i am hoping to spend a bit of time in Tokyo on my way to Australia. Maybe spend 5 days. 

Saw something on here today that was a HUGE RED FLAG for me. Some guy checked me out, so I in turn checked him out, and saw that he was using a picture of a former sub or playmate or whatever on his profile, face and all.  I gotta ask, does she know that you are using her picture, showing her ladybits and her face on a bdsm site for all to see?  How many women are having their privacy violated because a guy thinks the best way to advertise himself on here or other sites is to show pics of women, identifying chracteristics and all?  Frst of all, is that all you got?  You can't make your own profile attractive on your own?  You have to resort to pcitures of other people? Second of all, how do I know that if I played with a guy who does this to other women, that he wouldn't do it to me also?  I am not the only one that thinks this way.  Check out the questions about this on discussion boards on Fet.  Lots of women say/think the same thing. HUGE red flag.  HUGE.  

Its the girls weekend to play. An play we shall!! Ive be looking forward to this weekend.. Welcome to my Group of Dommes. Ms Rhonda from New Jersey.

So this one time at cheer camp all of the girls were stark naked in the locker room. As all the girls of different shapes and sizes all changing in the same room, my mind just wonders on how to please them  So without thinking things through I was like what's your fantasy to all the bare ladies in the room. I wanted to know each of their fantasies and I wanted to see each one come true. All the ladies I asked answered their own little dirty secret and for me it's planning time now  I need to make a list of what to bring besides the obvious strap on,and figure out how to get them there without anyone noticing and hope the ladies don't mind performing in front of one another, which obviously is not an issue, these girls trust and love each other we are all on the same team and we all do lifts. The flyers will have the best time of all  but these ladies perform all the time with each other why not naked? 

What am I seeking?:A strong, dominant male. No older than 50ish. Someone who can have decent conversation and whom is intelligent. Someone who is preferably a Daddy Dom but who is also stern & strict when needed. Also, someone who isn’t focused solely on sex. Why? Because this lifestyle is about way more then that. I also am not interested in someone who only uses sexual things as punishments. That has never made sense to me. I want a friend, a companion. I need someone I can trust and build a bond with. Once again, I am not looking for a sexual based dynamic. Sure, sex is great and all but that really isn’t what the lifestyle is 100% about. I’m not looking for someone to control sexual aspects of my marriage, I keep the two things separate as best I can. I do good with rules but of course not all sexual rules. I need help remembering to take my meds, do my chores and such. About me:32, West Virginia, I tend to identify as a sub/kitten/little. Meaning I kinda wear many hats. I need a Dom who can appreciate all sides of me and not make me shove one of them aside. I’m not abdl at all, that’s not who I am as a little.I want someone who wants to get to know me as a person, a friend and a sub.

had forgotten i can leave 'journal entries'.   i've been unowned for almost nine years... or so?  i've kinda lost track. That's a long time to be wild. To be a stray. i've kinda settled into being alone.  i'm in no hurry to fall into someones lap again.  i read a lot of profiles here, see a lot of pictures, get a decent amount of messages from people who clearly haven't taken the time to learn about me.  Still makes me shake my head. i wonder sometimes if i belong here... The bulk of Doms here seem to want only a slave... they want to bruise and abuse, and hey, that's fine... for them, and for the people who seek that kind of... treatment. It's NOT for me though.  i don't exist to be treated like that.  i won't, be treated like that. i'm on vanilla dating sites too.  Coz, why not. Tossin that line into multiple ponds in hopes of finding -Him-.  While a lot of my views are vanilla, a lot aren't.  i feel like i don't really belong anywhere... i hope... one day, i will find someone as rare and unique as i am. Who wants to own me, train me, take care of me... bring out the utter best of me so that i can return it all back to Him. May those reading on this Halloween, find lots of treats, and enough tricks to make it interesting.

This is really difficult. And I don't mean being cute or pretty. I'm talking about trying to find somebody. I mean I kind of wanted a female, a woman, but I'm realizing, what would a woman want to do with me? I mean, unless she saw our relationship as some kind of lesbian relationship. But then why invest the time with me? Just get a woman. It isn't like I've been cuckhold now I'm just watching my last relationship have sex with men and we go and get our hair done together. That's a silly dumb fantasy. I don't really expect that ever. So it becomes kind of complicated. Being with a guy, I've been there. It never really works out. Most guys really have no idea. And I don't mean that in a mean way. And yes I've tried, thinking OK I'll be with a guy he can just go be a guy I'll be the girl I'll take care of everything that I need to to be cute and pretty. But oddly enough, it never seems to work out that way. I am submissive and really truly just want to explore more of a relationship as a submissive and feminine. I've done all the hard work myself. I am on estrogen and other feminizing pharmaceuticals. I've actually been surgically castrated, yes, have no balls. But yet I still can't find someone. And yet I still also feel more male than female. Is there really a woman out there that actually enjoys the art of emasculation? And also possibly feminization. I remember a long time ago I was at a bar out here in California, called the Oxwood Inn (I think that was it) and I saw a cute couple. a black woman, clearly the dominant, and a effeminate partner. I started a conversation with her, the dominant, basically asking about their relationship, and if she was together with her. I was quickly explained that yes, they do live together. She was working to turn him into a her in every way. This honestly fascinated me so much so that I still kind of looking for that same relationship. Now I'm sure there are men out there that might be able to do this? I've even gone so far as wondered if possibly I could pay somebody. Make some sort of long-term agreement because I'm sure this isn't gonna happen in a month or three months I would venture to say for complete transition, it's got to be at least a year? But then again what do I know? 

Message to a new submissive/slave   So you love service. And you have discovered the great world of BDSM. Allow me to tell you a few things. I'm going to tell you what I tell every new person whether they are Christian or not. You have to find what works for you. If you are happy being a submissive then learn to be the best sub possible.    First find a Mentor. A good mentor is not a sexual partner. Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.* – Wikipedia I suggest a good mentor would be another submissive or slave. Not that Dominants/Masters can’t mentor a sub/slave, I do it all the time. But I just think someone who has been what you are going through would understand. I understand because I was trained from the bottom up. That means I started as a sub before earning my title of Master. Join groups. Fellowship with other submissives is a good thing. You do not want to isolate yourself. Hanging and talking will help you understand what you are and that there are others like you.   Ask questions. Questioning is a good thing and a good way to stay safe. A Dominant/Master should be willing to answer question. Ask other subs/slaves questions too   Also, just because someone claims to be a Master does not give them the right to start dominating you.  If a Master that you have not negotiated with, tells you that you are a sub or slave, therefore; you have to follow their orders, then it is a good idea to cut off communication with them.     Don’t settle for the first Master that comes along.  Think of this as a romantic relationship.  Do you marry the first man or woman that smiles at you?  Get to know more than one.  Until you are ready to make a commitment to a Dominant/Master/Mistress, you have the right to talk to several.   Also remember that your feelings matter.  In play a Dom/Master/Mistress might say that they do not, but this should only be in play.  In r/l your thoughts, emotions, desires, and even your health matter.   Ok let’s talk about power and power exchange. And remember the submissive/slave has all the power. Not the Dominant/Master/Mistress, we have no power except what you give us. The power exchange can be a beautiful thing when done right.     The foundation and corner stone of this lifestyle is consent. You have a right to consent. If someone does something to you that you do not consent to. Run away, don't walk.. run. Part of consent is setting limits. You have a right to set limits. Submissive will do this within the relationship. A slave should set her limits in negotiation. Yes slave you have that right. You should always negotiate with a Master. If a Master says you do not have that right, run away.  Remember these: SCC & RACK. The first SCC stands for safe, sane, and consensual. A Dominant/ Master/Mistress should keep you safe and play safe. The use of drugs or alcohol during play is not safe because they alter perception and dangerous mistakes can be made.    Although what we do looks insane to the outside world, it can be very sane, and the bottom line is consent. Every thing we do is with consent. You never lose the right to consent. Slaves, let me be very clear. You always have the right to walk away. If a Master tells you different, he is not a Master but an abuser.    Next is what I believe and that is RACK. The R stands for risk. There is risk in what we do. No matter whether it is BDSM, M/s, or D/s, there is risk. Which brings us to the A. the A stands for aware. A Dominant/Master should make you aware of the risk you are taking. C=consent or Consensual, again I can not stress this enough. It is the foundation and cornerstone of all we are. Last, the K is for kink. Yes we are a very kinky people and remember your kink may not be someone else’s kink. But that is OK.      Communication is essential.  Keep in mind, a potential Dom/Master/Mistress cannot read your mind.  If there is something that scares you or that you are uncomfortable with, tell them!  If they are unwilling to listen and talk to you about it, run away!  Keep in mind that when a person is a Dom/Master/Mistress they are also human.  They will make mistakes.      Respect should be earned I am not talking about common courtesy. Being polite always makes you look good. But respect is earned. And a Dominant/Master should never demand it. If a Dominant demands this you should run. We command respect by our actions. And a Dominant should be willing to earn that respect. One last thought on respect, you should respect yourself. Self respect is important. If you can’t respect your self how can you respect someone else?   Trust is also earned. If someone is not willing to earn your trust, or if they demand your trust, walk away. You need to trust to have a good relationship. But trust needs to be earned. A dominant/Master should be willing to earn your trust   This is a great way of life or it can be. But it can be dangerous. It is used by abusers to abuse. It is used by pretenders and predators also. We wrote this to help keep you safe.  .  

Secret Room "Of her naked body this: that he had never seen anything so beautiful." -Lindsay Hall, Sea of Hooks (My mission is to get you all to read this book)  

what a typical day would be like as My slave.   I work from home during the week in a typical 8 am to 5 pm online system. you would wake slightly before Me and rise from your sleeping that should be a pallet or cot next to My bed. you will then prepare My coffee and have it ready for when I wake. you will Serve it to Me on one knee. there is more to the Ritual than that but I am keeping to basics for now.   Once I have taken the coffee, you kiss each of My feet and then My cock, affirming to Me that you are My slave. When I get up, you will ask if I need to piss and how I wish to do so. That can be in your mouth to swallow or on you to wear for a brief time or longer as I wish.   I will start My work and you will fix My breakfast and your own. Again you will Serve Me and wait for Me to give you permission to eat yours.   Then will come inspection of slave to see if there is anything that needs to be addressed such as shaving and such. slave will then shower and clean himself accordingly and report back for Tasks of the Day.   Most days will have Tasks already assigned, such as Monday, the bedding is changed and washed. Every day has the Task of properly dressing the bed and dusting various shelves and stuff.   All Tasks should be finished by lunch time. slave reports back to Me to have Tasks evaluated. Failures to meet standards will warrant punishments later that day.   Lunch time has the slave preparing and serving lunch. Usually something simple and easy. Follows the same Ritual as breakfast.   After lunch, slave will have an hour to do his own personal hobbies and such. After that, the slave will do his workout program to increase his fitness.    After that, slave preps dinner. Not all dinners will be cooked by the slave as I do like to do some cooking. Dinner Ritual is the same as other meals. slave will likely sit on the floor near Me while eating.    The evening is when I relax with My hobbies and fun. slave will be near and quiet possibly with a few minor Tasks.   At the end of the day, any punishments that the slave has earned are reviewed and applied.   Bed time.    A note is that the slave is always available to Me should I want to piss on or in him, as well as to suck My cock, kiss My feet, lick My pits and ass, and of course being ass up for when I want to fuck.

Even at my age, I seem to be surrounded by players. One would think maturity might thin the herd, but no—apparently nonsense has no age limit. Be it any website, platform, or so-called “community,” they’re all there, lined up confidently with impressive titles and very little substance. Everyone is a “Master” now. Capital M, of course. Profiles full of rules, expectations, and declarations of authority, yet curiously light on patience, consistency, or basic courtesy. It’s rather like browsing for a decent cup of tea and being offered only energy drinks. Loud, stimulating, and ultimately unsatisfying. What I notice most is the hurry. The rush to claim ownership, demand obedience, or shortcut trust. It’s all very enthusiastic, but enthusiasm without discipline is just noise. A proper Master, I’ve learned, doesn’t need to announce himself repeatedly. He shows up, stays present, and understands that submission isn’t collected like badges. There’s also a particular type who mistakes control for confidence and silence for depth. They talk endlessly about what they want, rarely about what they can hold. When questions arise—real ones about boundaries, stability, or responsibility—they tend to vanish faster than manners at a buffet. Still, I find myself more amused than discouraged. Experience has sharpened my eye. I know the difference between someone performing a role and someone capable of carrying one. If that means more waiting and fewer conversations worth having, so be it. I’d rather be selective than entertained. So I continue looking, calmly, with standards intact and expectations realistic. The players can keep playing. I’m not here for a game—I’m here for something that lasts, and I’m quite content to wait for it, tea in hand

Some vanilla history: I had given up on dating in the lifestyle after the end of a 7-year D/s relationship back in 2022. In 2023, I met My ex bf on a vanilla dating app and he said that he initially thought I was a catfish. He had been messaging with Me "casually" for a few weeks and when it started to feel like it just wasn't going anywhere, I attempted to end communication. Apparently, that piqued his interest and he planned an actual date. When I stepped out of My car, it took him a few minutes to compose himself. He seriously was expecting someone else I guess and didn't know what to do when it wasn't. I was thoroughly entertained by the whole thing and honestly couldn't stop laughing at the situation. I gave him a one arm hug and he was shaking! It was adorable. And of course, over the 18 months or so that we dated, I loved telling his friends that story and how he almost blew it being so nonchalant in the beginning.

Hey, guys. Just so you know, this ain't my first rodeo. I was experimenting with S&M activities long before I was legal, or had actual sex. And so I call BULLSHIT on your "D/s is mainly mental" blah, blah, blah. A solid D/s relationship is a 3 legged stool of mind, body, and spirit. Each leg is equally important, and MUST be equally developed in order for there to be balance and harmony in the power exchange relationship. This is not optional, and you don't get to change the D/s laws of the universe just because you live 3000 miles away, or are trapped in a boring marriage. Mind. BODY. Spirit. For a masochist, one of these things MUST take place in person. So regular face to face meets are NOT optional. Smacking myself online while you watch does NOT count. And if you live more than 100 miles away, I'm not driving, or flying, to your place every week. It is what it is.

L.A: I need a Female Domme or Switch date to a FemDomme Dungeon Play Party in West Hollywood Sat. Nov. 6 https://fetlife.com/events/1045163   I want to attend the Sweet Sadist FemDomme BDSM play party in West Hollywood Sat. Nov 6.  The Dungeon is richly stocked with MANY BDSM play stations on the first floor.  On the second floor is a lounge room and another bedroom with 3 or 4 clean beds.   I live in Northridge, San Fernando Valley, L.A.  I will need you to pick me up in Northridge, take us to the BDSM Play Party in West Hollywood, and then take me back home to Northridge after the party is over at 1:00 am.   I am a Male Switch Rigger, but I will play as a male submissive on the main floor.  I floggings, spankings, body worship and foot worship (100% ANY female body part), strapon sex, bondage, cock & ball bondage, and roleplaying.  More of my fetishes are listed on my FetLife Profile, along with my BDSMTest.org test results.   Thank you, SuaveItalian  

I Just realized on Dec 26th 19 years ago today. I went to be my first munch and became a member of my local BDSM community. I remember being so nervous. I had never dated or anything before that day. I was happy when I read an erotic novel and found the term BDSM and went down the rabbit hole. All the years I would have dreams and desires not understanding and thinking I was alone. I was 30 years old and started researching on AOL, Yahoo chat, the great websites at the time. To find the munch group and got my scene name from my email address. So nervous to meet at the munch group, Only about 5 of us were there that night being right after Christmas. I was so happy and excited and felt like I finally found home and people that would accept me and welcome me.    The lifestyle was fun and learned a lot but also wasn't the greatest as I would jump into things and the 7.5 years I was active did expereince abuse that still scares me today. I have triggers but also realize this is who I am and can't just be vanilla. I have missed being active in the lifestyle and miss my BDSM family. One day hope to find the right partners and get back to being active again.    I call this my BDSM birthday.  And glad I found it. Just more cautious now.

Ladies...You are welcome and encouraged to apply if you are honest and can obey.  This is a real home and a safe harbor.   I am not personally interested in women sexually, however I am not entirely adverse to the idea of shared intimacy with time.  Mainly, women have entirely unique qualities they bring to a home and to service which I can and do appreciate.  I respond well to women who are straightforward and even a bit tomboyish. On another note.... Some of you gents are real doozies.  The up side is that this has made way for some amazing men to move front and center.  You know who you are - you delight Me and inspire Me and your supportive nature and devotion make all the difference to Me and inturn to Mum.  Thank you. Further.... I see a foot slave...toilet slave...a humiliation slave, lets get real for a moment.  While I appreciate you all have your specialties and preferences, I have to wonder where are all the administrative slaves, the bookkeeping slaves, and refinishing slaves? lol  I'm looking for My own personal TEAM!  Trust in Me when I say, you will be a creative lot and busy busy bees!    

I have, in the past 6 months, been messaged by 2 different men who had something about raceplay in either their messages or in their profiles.  Allow me to be perfectly clear: any racial slur, race play, homophobic slur, misogyny, or domination from any aspect of supposed genetic superiority is a limit.  I grew up having various slurs directed towards myself, family, and friends and they are a quick way to have me block you. I mean the following in an honest and non judgemental way: if you have those desires, I would encourage you to look into your personal history and see why you have those desires or urges and honestly discuss them with a licensed professional.  It is often a product of internalized hatred towards yourself or others through no fault of your own.  Talking with a professional will help you to a much happier place where you can feel more comfortable with yourself and others. BUT, do not send me messages with any form of racial, transphobic, homophobic, or misogynistic slur in them.  It will lead to me immediately blocking you and reporting the message.  Having anything about race in your profile (other than your own) will result in a short message and me blocking you.  You are only harming yourself and it's a hard limit for me.  Consider this your one and only warning.

Adding a journal entry because updating my profile takes forever. I might add or update these as I go. Also, I hate the formatting here.  I get a lot of messages from potential submissives, so I thought I'd make a little FAQ to help all of us out. Please read before messaging.  Can I be your sub? If that's your first message, no. I'm looking for local or nearish subs for real time interactions. I'm also looking for a specific arrangement. Most importantly, I'm looking for subs I can have a vanilla connection with. If me being human is a turn off for you, then I'm not the Dominant you should be talking to. Do you have a screening process?  I do. I can provide more information if you're interested. If you're not willing to screen, don't message me.  Why haven't you answered my message? There are many reasons I won't answer a message. Your profile has no picture and your bio is empty. Your message is a request of some sort. Your message is just "hello". You've said something I find offensive.  But my message was a compliment! Why won't you answer that? Very likely because you've sent something like "you're beautiful" or "I love your feet". And that's it. It's what I call a bait message, where you throw out a one liner statement and I'm meant to respond either with a compliment or by starting the conversation. If you can't be bothered to write a thoughtful message, I can't be bothered to respond.  I'm not on here much, can we talk elsewhere and get to know each other better? I will not give out any information about my socials or other profiles until I feel like there is a connection and I'm interested in getting to know you better. Until then, yes, you will have to log in here to talk to me. If that's too much to ask for, well.  *shrug*

I dont' mind telling you, fetish world, kink people, that I am frustrated. I am frustrated by the surge of Omicron after we finally seemed to be turning a corner on the original COVID, then Delta, etc.  I am frustrated that this is slowing down my ability to pursue my interests, as I don't consdider it wise to go hang out in a bar right now or get coffee with an interesting individual.  It is making me take my time even more than usual in my seeking of the right person, and I think in some discussions I've had, it is slowing down others' will or desire to take those risks as well. And that's ok because I'd rather spend my time with someone who shares my risk appetite than someone throwing caution to the wind. I've also seen a really disturbing trend of interesting people just deleting their profiles here mid conversation. I strongly suspect that the ambient stress of pandemic life and the demands of what should be Normal Life are creating unsustainable levels of internal conflict for folks, who eventually just hit the panic button and run from places like this.  I don't have a cure, that's for sure. The scientists keep working on it though. There's a new pill based treatment getting Emergency Use Authorization as of late December 2021. The vaccines work, boosters are available, and the whole testing thing, while it needs work, is somewhat available.  So do me a favor folks. Especially those of you possibly interested in a Domme like me, because I want my social life back. Get your damned shot. Get your booster. Get your friends and family vaxxed.  There's really no reason to help the virus find victims, it's good enough at that on its own.  

I figured I would do a quick about me.   This isn't planned and will likely be random and all over the place.First of all, vanilla - as this is the most important thing to me, If we don't connect here, than sexually doesn't matter.I'm an extravert. I find energy in groups and crowds usually(not allways) And I find people fasanating, so I would enjoy people watching sometimes even.However, I would be ok being with an introvert and limiting my actions with groups.  This isn't a must and being closed off and contained isn't an issue.  It's the relationship that matters and as long as that is strong, I will be happy.I tend to enjoy a little bit of everything.  Travelling, hiking, board games, movies and tv, reading. trying new things and activities.My tastes range from Downton Abbey, to Yellowstone, to Battlestar to NCIS(not as much anymore) to parks and rec.I love independant and foreign films/tv as well as classics just as much as anything above.I've become a board game and puzzle nut.  It's an interesting way to spend time, have fun and use strategy/think.I enjoy conversations and debating.I'm the sort of person willing to try everything at least once.Some weird/different stuff about me:I am very Ticklish.  To the point that if you wish to tickle I have a very strong ask that I be tied down. I have punched people before being unrestrained and flailing about. I do not enjoy it, but I enjoy the pleasure it brings my torturer I guess.I have a fear of heights.  I have learned to manage this, I usually have no issue in a plane, on a ladder or even a roof. And if I can hold onto something solid, I am fine.  But every now an again(top of a mountain looking over a cliff as one example) I do have that fear crop up.I'm a nudist at heart. I'm fine with nudity and I would be nude all the time if I could. Sometimes I am.I believe I'm undiagnosed ADHD.  In no way really bad, but I do have quirks.  When I have a list of tasks I can and tend to jump between them mid-task randomly.  I can and have been known to fidget usually, usually just my fingers.  And other really minor things. Nothing that I feel needs to be managed, it's more of a "wow it's crazy you work like that" sort of response from people when they know me, and like I said, not all the time, but enough it would be noticable long term.The kinky/sex stuff:I'm Pansexual.  I have been with both sexes before, maybe I will again. To me it's about the person, not their parts. I have no requirements there, I don't 'need' both sexes in my life and I can and am able to be monogomus.My Limits: No Scat, No felonies.(an aside here - a lot of people say nothing illegial. But public nudity is illegial, and I would do it leading to -), Nothing that involves others without their consent.  Wearing a collar in public is just apperal, being naked involves them.  Being naked where a kid can see is a felony, so context matters there.No permanent changes without my ok. As soon as I ok being tatooed or pierce once, I'm good forever.Nothing involving friends or family or work without my ok. This includes collars and such.No Degredation.  I was picked on as a kid.  It wasn't fun. If you want to treat me like crap - no thanks.  If you don't want to treat me like a prized pet, a love, a favorite possession, or something like that, I'm not for you.   This includes namecalling, and includes for punishment.Humiliation is different, I love humiliation.My main joys(in no ways all)Being controlled/a lack of control.  The more real this is, the more I tend to enjoy it.Tell me not to move or else is one thing, tell me not to move and bind me so I can't even if I tried and it's mentally a different level.  And no, I don't expect this 24/7 365 or even often, just explaining control is key.Pleasing/serving/bringing smiles.  Are you happy?  Are you satasfied? Are you smiling?  This can be from an act I did - cleaning your kitchen, bringing you to a great orgasm, or just submitting to something difficult for you.Humiliation.  This is an aspect of control.  Being naked around others is one example.  The way I look at it, if it makes me blush or shy it's humiliation.In no ways is that all but the main ones.However note, I'm focused on #2, and that is most important to me. If I cannot and am not pleasing, this wouldn't work for me(and I imagine you either). Some other sexual/relationship notes:I have the mindset that I learn what an owner wants, needs and desires and it's my job to fit inside that, that a possible owner shouldn't need to change for a sub/slave.  That I need to find somewhere that I can fit, and mold myself around their desires, fantasies and interests.  This includes things like chastity as well as other activities. Some like it, some don't, in the end I can give or take.I have my fantasies and things I'd like to try or do, and I will talk about them if asked or desired.  I have a desire to be an open book as best as I can be.Finally and most importantly - I'm looking for a relationship.  With that, I would be with a couple as long as if there is another sub, that I am equal to the sub.  I do not desire to be a side piece or a toy that is brought out on occasion.  Likewise, I'm not looking to be a servent or "domestic only".  In most cases that isn't a relationship that is a job.   I would be domestic only if it were a relationship, but it would depend on the situation.  I think 99% of domestic only searches fall outside that situation.I want someone to accept me for me.  If you cannot do that, I will move on.  Small changes I can and will make, Big ones I would only make if there is a really good reason(addiction) or something, of which I don't think I have anything currently.I'm not talking what I wear or my haircut or if I'm shaved or not.  I'm talking "you can't like this or that because I told you to" sort of stuff.  Also, I would like someone who listens to me and who allows me to speak my mind.It doesn't have to be always, or often, It can be at set times,  and you do not need to do whatever I speak about or say, but you do need to really listen and understand.  I do not want to be a robot.

I want to thank those who have reached out. I appreciate you.  If I haven't answered your message, most likely it's because you used limited words, such as "Hi, how are you?" or something equally short. I don't consider this a conversation or reason to start a more extended conversation with you.  The other reason I've either not responded or sent you my well wishes regarding your search is where you are located. I am clear that I am looking for someone local. I expect to meet with you face-to-face at a local munch (to me) and in person. (Face-to-face and in-person are the keywords.) This isn't easy if you are not local to the Bay Area.  Service to me cannot be attended to if you are not local.  If you want to meet with me, you must travel to the Bay Area, have a place to stay and transport yourself at your own expense. You should plan on attending a local munch I attend.  I'm not going to meet privately with you, and I'm not going to call you. 

I cleared "house" over the weekend declining those who weren't suitable. No one made the cut. Interesting how this journal entry shows I hi a ave high standards, however a guy being an adult clearly defining what he seeks so I can decide if he suits what I seek is slow. A guy doing the usual "whatever you want.." b.s to attempt to hide he wants a fetish dispenser = that won't be me. No it doesn't mean I am not into BDSM playtime, I am. What it means as I know the person very well over a year before I bring up kink and playtime. They guy agrees to that put tries twice to push kink. Three strikes and he's blocked. Next batch of applicants it will be two strikes and they will be blocked. After that batch isn't viable I will stop replying to all messages for sometime. Get it right guys!!

An evening, recalled by the lady, written by me.It was late afternoon and it had been a tough day at the Commission. His kiss when he met me at the station was warm and affectionate; we chatted on the way to the hotel and as we checked in. When we arrived in the room I dumped my stuff on the bed and went out onto the veranda to look out over the lake. A few minutes later I heard him say ‘come here please’. I turned to see him with an impassive look on his face and standing in the middle of the room pointing at the floor just in front of his feet. He took hold of me around my waist and as he kissed me deeply, his hands travelled from my waist down my hips and across my bottom. Then up my back to my neck and then he felt my hair. He murmured ‘give me your tongue’ and I slipped it between his teeth. He nipped it and held it between his upper teeth and tongue. It was uncomfortable but not painful, he had done it often before and I had grown to like it. His hands resumed their journey around my upper body. They were firm, confident and moved without any hesitation. I could not have ed even if I had wanted too and the welcome feeling of melting inside began. He then released my tongue, kissed my lips then he turned me around and bent me over so my elbows were on the bed. He lifted my skirt and folded it over my back. His hands then roved freely over my bottom and between my thighs. He felt my mons, traced the line of my slit and ran his fingertips between down the crease between my buttocks, pausing to press on my anus. He then held me firmly against his thigh and began to spank me- this had recently become a regular beginning to our time together. One spank per cheek, then two, then three, they landed on my upper thighs and the curve of my bottom. He stopped at six and spent a few minutes gently rubbing my bottom, occasionally slipping his hand between my thighs. At ten per cheek it was stinging a lot. By twelve I was having difficulty keeping still. It was the knowledge that if I moved he would start again that kept me in position. The spanking was not unexpected and it had the desired effect. I felt myself starting to melt inside even more as he rubbed my stinging bottom and thighs once again. He stopped and made me stand. Then looked me in the eye, and then said ‘I have a few issues to resolve with you’. My stomach took a lurch, I’d been here before, he had shown no sign of real annoyance with me recently but then he never really did. He took me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said ‘strip and kneel’. He then turned and went to the veranda. It only took a minute to remove all my clothes and jewellery. I knelt, apprehensive about his return, embarrassed it had been a warm day; I had been wearing tights and had not had the time to wash and prepare myself for him. My make up had gone and I knew I did not look my best. He returned and pushed me forward to my knees and elbows. Pulling back my hair he locked my leather collar around my neck. It felt strange after the long break since I last wore it. The wrist cuffs were fitted next before he clipped them behind my back pinioning my wrists. He pulled my collar by its short leash to make me kneel up and then buckled a gag around my neck and pushed the red ball behind my teeth before tightening   it. He turned me so my back was to the mirror and placed a low backed chair in front of me. He could now see both the back and front of me. Sitting on the chair he told me to part my thighs wide and to emphasise the point his foot nudged my knees wide apart. I hoped he wasn’t going to touch me between my thighs as he so loved too, I so regretted not taking a shower immediately we arrived in the room. From his pocket he took some butterfly style nipple clips. I hate them and he knows it, he threaded their chain into the ring at the front of my collar and after pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger to make them fully erect he clipped one to each nipple. The discomfort was almost unbearable, I instinctively closed my thighs, and he ed and gently tugged the chain, sending sharp jolts through me. I did as I was told and spread my thighs wide, pushing my mons forward as far as I could. The gag muffling my weak protests. He spoke slowly, jerking the chain on saying each word. ‘Three weeks ago you forgot your make up, two weeks ago your stockings, last week your high shoes. You have arrived in my company wearing tights for the last 4 weeks, hence the immediate spankings. You have not kissed or greeted me properly on meeting for the same length of time. You make up today is poor, your hair isn’t brushed and you have not left your pubic hair as I instructed. In short young lady you are marring your beauty. You are fully aware how beautiful I think you are and you are distracting from it by being sloppy and that disappoints me. I will not accept you detracting from the pleasure I take in having such a desirable woman as my lover. Do you understand?’ I nodded, my eyes starting to water from the discomfort in my nipples and the realisation of how I had disappointed him. There was also the knowledge that I had been here before and if it followed a similar pattern then this was the case against me. By nodding I admitted my guilt. So I was about to punished for being a sloppy and inattentive submissive who had disappointed her Dominant.  He helped me to my feet by lifting me by the collar on my ring; it also had the effect of tugging on my nipples. He reversed his chair and tugged the chain as he removed each nipple clip. It stung as the blood filled each nipple, my knees almost buckled each time, the gag muffling the g. He then connected my wrists cuffs in front of me, and bent me over the back of his chair so my weight rested on my elbows. ‘Part your legs’ he said, I complied and hoped he would decide to have me, not cane me. I was to be disappointed, though recently spanked I accepted I had earned this too. He fetched a cane from his bag as I waited anxiously. Holding the back of my collar he rested the cane against my bottom, drew it back and struck me. ‘One‘ he said. All I did was hear the sound then the harsh sting reached my brain! He was using the flat cane.  A piece of flexible wood two feet long, an inch wide and a quarter of an inch thick. It didn’t leave tram lines or scars; I knew its stinging would last for ages and leave a square red mark on each buttock, but it would not bruise very much. Not that it seemed important at that moment. Though I find the cane painful, the thonged whip he occasionally uses is worse. Its thick strands inflict weal’s and their tips can get into the most intimate parts of my body. I’ve also known him use it on my breasts and belly. Each cane stroke went slightly lower until the last 3 all struck where the tops of my thighs and my bottom met. My legs kicked out from the stinging, by now I had dribbled spittle around the gag, my eyes were streaming and my nose had started to run. He let go the back of my collar and returned the cane to his bag. Returning he pulled me upright by my collar and turned me to face him. I refused to look him in the eye; I must have looked a real mess. He took my chin again forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt so ashamed of my appearance. He had told me I was beautiful so very often and it made me feel so proud when he said it. Now I had let him down by being too complacent. He unclipped the wrist cuffs, reattaching then in front. He said ‘Do you understand what I have told you?’ I nodded. ‘Then get down on your belly on the floor and spread your legs, I haven’t finished with you yet.’ My mind raced, would it be the whip now, on my bottom? I knelt and lay on the floor, my bottom was really stinging and the carpet was rough against my sore nipples, my belly and mons. I spread my thighs wide, dipped my spine and waited. I heard the pop of a tube of lubricant being opened. It wasn’t the whip!! The lube felt cold against my anus as he applied just enough. He undressed, I could feel him looking at my prone body, the line of my sex and the rose of my anus. I was fully exposed because it was how he wanted me to be. He knelt between my thighs and pumped his cock to make the head larger. He spread my bottom cheeks with one hand and pressed his cock against my anus with the other. The tip entered me, it was so uncomfortable. I had forgotten how tight a caning made the cheeks of my bottom clench. He pushed into me, stretching me. I struggled and tried to object; he held me and reminded me of the presence of the whip. Once he was past the muscular ring I relaxed as the discomfort subsided somewhat; I felt the cool of his skin against my hot bottom. He reached and took hold of my hair and collar, pulling them back. At the first slow thrust he said ‘one’. The thrusts were slow and firm, they made my bottom sting though my anus soon adapted to the presence of his cock. He told me to squeeze my buttocks together as he withdrew his cock, and relax as he thrust in. I tried to do so; each time I failed he added two extra thrusts. He was punishing me and reminding me of his dominance by not taking pleasure from the stimulation my anus could give him. It was a reminder that sexual pleasure could not be an excuse for a lack of submission. It was a relief when he reached 100 and stopped counting and thrusting. I was glad he was no longer forcing my nipples against the rough carpet, and his tummy was no longer making my sore bottom sting more. But I immediately missed the closeness and intimacy of the man I so wanted yet had disappointed. He pulled me to my feet by my collar, removed the ball gag and lifted my chin. I must have looked a real mess as I worked my jaw to stop it aching, I certainly felt a mess and I promised him and myself not to let my appearance or behaviour slip again. He kissed me and said he loved me; I’m not sure if it made me feel any better- or if it was supposed to! He led me by the arm into the bathroom and told me to wash his cock and balls. I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous! Mascara running, the marks of the gag around my mouth, spittle around my chin and collar and my nose running! I looked away ashamed as he wet a towel to clean the lube from between my buttocks. He turned me around so my back was to the mirror and rubbed the wet towel firmly between my buttocks, it stung where it touched the red marks.  I heard him say, ‘You have 30 minutes until dinner. Be ready on time.’ I knew that I would make him the proudest man alive when he let me take his arm to dinner. 30 minutes wasn’t long. But I so wanted to see that look of desire in his eyes that I would ensure I was just as he wanted me to be. I knew just how good he would make me feel in return. He went to the veranda to watch the sun set. I set to work, though I did sneak a look at the red marks on my bottom. They made me feel strangely proud because they were his marks and I had submitted to him. He had put them there and there was nothing I could have done about it even if I wanted to. Now I didn’t know what he was going to do with me later, but after being disciplined he always had something special planned for me! 

Hello to all of you who actually take the time to read my profile. Please, IF you contact me, don't just send me a one liner; I will not respond. Send me a real introduction to you as a person, not just you as a sub. ! I will not try to vet you through this site. Please be prepared to text! I have signal and telegram. Also, be prepared to send me real world pictures, you gardening, you going on a walk, etc. , be prepared to voice verify and video chat verify within a few days. You must also be prepared to travel to Parkersburg WV for a public, vanilla, in person first meeting.  I will discuss fetishes, interests, desires before we meet because this is a sex based relationship; however, I will NOT dominant, sext, role play, cam or DO anything sexual to you virtually until AFTER we have met in person and you become my sub! You ask, you will be blocked! If you want pics, go to my fetlife. I have over 120 posted and I post new pics regularly. A real sub will not hesitate to follow my requests and tbh, I'm not interested in you if you're not prepared to show me you in fact are real, committed and will show up, day after day, and not just when you're horny.

my take of "ALLAN POE"Since childhood, I've never been Like others were - I've never seen The world as they do, nor felt the same Passions from a common flame. My sorrows don't come from their source, And joy doesn't move me with its force. All that I've loved, I've loved alone, In my childhood, when life was unknown. From the depths of good and ill, My mystery was drawn and still Binds me, with its enduring power, From the mountain's cliff and the fountain's shower. From the sun's golden autumn glow, To the lightning and the thunder's show, From the storm and the passing cloud, That in my mind, a demon shroud. Yet, though I've walked this path alone, I've found my strength in being shown The beauty and the darkness too, That others might not see or do. For in the storm and in the calm, I've found a peace, a healing balm, That's helped me through life's many trials, And filled my heart with lasting smiles. So though I may not be the same As others in this world's grand game, I've learned to embrace my unique fate, And find my joy, though it may be late.

I've been asked a few times how far I'd go with modifications. The short answer is as far as I can without limiting the toys usefulness. Ideally to turn her into a combination of Jessica Rabbit and Hellraiser. So if I find someone as into modifications as I am this is what I'd do. If not, then not. Reality is, if I connect well with someone who has no interest in any of this, the relationship takes priority. I need to find a surgeon who will do some semi illegal procedures once I find a toy. The polypropylene breast implants certainly, so it's udders never stop growing. If not, then silicone up to an H cup. Bone anchor rings in its ankles and wrists to make hobbling it simple and permanent. Pull out its teeth with dentures to be used so it looks better, until it's time to use it orally. The tracheostomy as I already mentioned. Shorten its Achilles tendon so it can only stand in ballet boots. Ass implants if squats don't create enough.                                                                        The rest of the changes I can do: Total hair removal except for pigtails. The nipples, septum, clit and labia all pierced with 8 gauge rings. The tongue split and each side pierced cross ways. Induced lactation. Chastity piercing. Brands and tattoos of ownership as well as for punishment and humiliation. Corset training to 14-12 inches.

My heart goes out to those who have lost their lives, and those picking up the pieces after the hurricane in the States. I have friends and family there and their packs of supplies they keep topped up all year are seeing them through. But they are reporting the tragedies of neighbours.  I wish everyone well who is suffering there.  

ALWAYS MANOR: THE LEGACY The lawyer’s office smelled faintly of old leather and strong coffee. Tessa sat stiff-backed in a chair too soft for her liking, her paramedic’s jacket folded neatly over her lap. She had come straight from a night shift, still carrying the phantom weight of sirens and the metallic tang of blood in her nose. Sitting here, among mahogany shelves and polished brass, felt wrong. April should have been the one in this room, laughing that velvet laugh of hers, teasing Tessa for looking so out of place. But April wasn’t here. And that truth was a splinter lodged too deep to pull. The lawyer cleared his throat, a small man in a larger suit. “As per the wishes of the late Ms. April Laurent…” He began reading, his voice even and practiced, but every word was a pin dragged across raw skin. Bequests went first to charities April supported: a scholarship for young nurses, a donation to an animal rescue. April always gave more of herself than anyone knew. Then came the pause. The lawyer adjusted his glasses, eyes flicking to Tessa. “To my dearest friend, Tessa Holt…”             Her stomach tightened. “…I leave my estate, including the residence on Brookhaven Street, its contents, the club—The Haven—and…” another pause, as though uncertain how to phrase the next words, “…my submissive, Daniel. It is my wish that he remains under your care, guidance, and protection.” The words hung in the air like a struck bell.             Tessa blinked. “I’m sorry—what?”             The lawyer coughed into his hand. “It’s quite explicit in her will. She names you as custodian and—ah—successor.” A chair creaked across the table. Daniel lifted his head, eyes red-rimmed but steady. He had been silent through everything, hands folded, shoulders bowed. Now he whispered, with a reverence that sent a chill down Tessa’s spine: “Yes, Mistress.” The title wasn’t hers. Not yet. But the weight of it pressed down, heavy as any body she’d ever tried to save. Heat crawled up the back of her neck. “No,” she said, sharper than she intended. “That can’t be right. April wouldn’t—she wouldn’t leave me a person.” The lawyer raised his palms defensively. “I assure you, Ms. Holt, the will is legally sound. The… phrasing is unusual, but the intent is clear. Mr. Daniel Shaw is, in every practical sense, part of the estate and your responsibility.” Tessa’s gaze snapped to Daniel. He didn’t flinch. Didn’t deny it. He just watched her with quiet, steady eyes that seemed too calm, too accepting. “This isn’t…” She exhaled hard, fingers knotting the fabric of her jacket. “This isn’t how it works. I save lives. I don’t… own them.” Daniel lowered his gaze, voice low but firm. “You don’t own me, yet, Mistress. April entrusted me to you. There’s a difference.” The word landed again—Mistress. A mantle she had only worn once, with disastrous results. April had been the natural one, the woman others orbited. Tessa had only stood at her side, not in her place. Her throat tightened. “I’m not April.” “No,” Daniel agreed softly. “But she chose you.” The lawyer shuffled papers, clearly eager to move on, but the room felt smaller, denser. Tessa sat frozen, torn between disbelief and the creeping awareness that her best friend had just handed her a world she didn’t know if she could carry. “To clarify, Ms. Holt,” the lawyer said, “your late friend was very thorough. The property and assets are yours outright. As for Mr. Shaw—” his gaze flicked to Daniel, then back to Tessa, “—April did not mean ownership in the literal, legal sense. She established a trust. The house, and a portion of her funds, are designated for his upkeep. You have been named custodian of that trust.”  norespectrequire 

This was my reply to a post on fet.  I thought it might be informative    Past time for a cleaning is generally not a problem imho. Although, I suppose that depends how far past. Maybe it takes a few visits then regular maintenance. If I may, you should provide the lock without a key when you do the furst meet and greet some time before the first cleaning. It should always be you who unlocks the lock and keeps the key. He can go away with the unlocked lock if that is what you choose and lock himself back up some time before the next visit.That sounds like a wonderful arrangement to me.