Being a Dominant is not like the military where rank assumes obedience. The “rank” of Dominant or Master is not assumed by the Dominant but bestowed by a submissive. This is important because it cuts to the heart of why a Dominant has the authority to give “orders” in the first place. A Dom only has power because he has been granted that power by the submissive. And a submissive grants that power to someone he respects, trusts, desires, and believes has his best interests at heart. He grants it to someone with whom he feels completely safe and protected. So yes, I as a Dominant do in fact give orders. But my orders are not simply motivated by desire for blind obedience but are often targeted at a higher purpose. Sure, often they are for my personal pleasure. But they are also designed to instill knowledge, establish norms of behavior, set expectations for performance, and above all, challenge my sub to be the best person he can possibly be both in and outside our relationship. They are also designed to similarly challenge me. I always strive to be a better person, a better partner, a better Dominant, and have our mutual interests always at heart. Being a Dominant is less about assuming authority than being a leader. A leader earns the right to lead. My sub gives me all the power I have as a Dominant. What I do with that power is up to me. But if I use it unwisely or selfishly, it will evaporate and my sub will opt to vote with his feet. D/s is, after all, a consensual agreement between two free persons and thus can be terminated when one or the other is not satisfied. D/s and even M/s are not true slavery, even when we choose to call it that. Ultimately, the submissive decides who will be his leader or if he will take on a leader at all. It is that decision that empowers the Dominant, and that decision is earned, not taken.

I've recently had the chance to think about TPE more, and I decided that there are ultimately four types, three of which I consider acceptable. In order of intensity, there is first the type, which is simply pushing past where a sub/slave would normall safeword, but not pushing so far that the subconcious is actually forced to acknowledge that they are not in control. This is a stage where a slave is usually begging or angry. The second is the type that I practice currently. Pushing past where people think their limit is, past the second limit where their subconscious gives and realizes that it can only endure, but not going past the last one. The one that makes the mind retreat and can cause trauma. I just brush up against it. The third is when someone deliberately breaks through that last barrier, repeatedly doing so in order to shape the slave into what they desire, using that shaping to subsume other desires and wants, to change who they are at the core level. This is acceptable when a Master has the time, will, and facilities to manage fully breaking a slave, and a slave has agreed beforehand. The last is just the territory of psychopaths, just breaking for the sake of breaking, to do as much damage as possible, and only for their own amusement.

Usually a bad idea to "get into a pissing contest with that skunk" of any type Let alone one which has already demonstrated in public.. Hateful prejudice, bigotry, stereotyping and hypocrisy. Not a suggestion to anyone in particular. Well, mostly not..  We each have a journey during our short stay on this little planet, not an easy one, but can be worthwhile. The serenity to ignore ills one can't do much about, courage to address the ones we can, wisdom to try to decide which is which.

I've been asked a few times how far I'd go with modifications. The short answer is as far as I can without limiting the toys usefulness. Ideally to turn her into a combination of Jessica Rabbit and Hellraiser. So if I find someone as into modifications as I am this is what I'd do. If not, then not. Reality is, if I connect well with someone who has no interest in any of this, the relationship takes priority. I need to find a surgeon who will do some semi illegal procedures once I find a toy. The polypropylene breast implants certainly, so it's udders never stop growing. If not, then silicone up to an H cup. Bone anchor rings in its ankles and wrists to make hobbling it simple and permanent. Pull out its teeth with dentures to be used so it looks better, until it's time to use it orally. The tracheostomy as I already mentioned. Shorten its Achilles tendon so it can only stand in ballet boots. Ass implants if squats don't create enough.                                                                        The rest of the changes I can do: Total hair removal except for pigtails. The nipples, septum, clit and labia all pierced with 8 gauge rings. The tongue split and each side pierced cross ways. Induced lactation. Chastity piercing. Brands and tattoos of ownership as well as for punishment and humiliation. Corset training to 14-12 inches.

I had my 15 month post cancer treatment scope.  The one where they stick the scope up your nose then down in to your throat and look around to check if the tissue is still healthy and take pictures to see if anything has changed.  And it's all still good.  Nine months until I am past the most dangerous period for it to come back, but not totally out of the woods until 5 year mark.  Still getting stronger, except for my right shoulder.  Haven't had a dizzy spell in almost a month.  The effects of radiation can last up t about 18 months, so I am at 15 months and am almost starting to not feel like I'm 80 anymore.  Maybe going to the gym a few times a week and losing 20 more pounds has helped as well.  15 pounds to go to hit 160.  I haven't weighed 160 since I was in my 30s.  Can running my 6th marathon be far off?  A man has to have goals.  Maybe if the right woman was chasing me with a whip.....  

Really wish this site would let know if people blocked before trying to send them messages. Its like nobody is even here but they will just block you anyways.  Clearly they will be alone as they are always finding a reason before even talking to somebody to block. Those types are why on-line or life is something people are unable to live properly. Back when started on 300 baud it was like nobody could hide their comments or from others. Realize that failed in life so its just wasting time to be here or in this world.  Doms just want somebody to take care of them financially while they will list a bunch of lies otherwise.  Instead of finding what is needed or who would benefit as are unable to do things in life.  They want the Fairy Tale of the Rich dude or so without them having to work or spend their own money.  Others will have problems with Cocaine or Alcohol which creates issues as they can't even control their own self much less others. Many don't have the most money or are unable to keep a stable job. So there those who depend on the subs to keep the money flowing. Read about how can change the font size in a message but they don't allow to set the sizes how want.  Wish lived a life where got married or had kids at like 20. Then they would already be out of College or owning their own homes.  Nobody ever liked me in the RL.  Nothing has really changed even in school would not belong or have people teasing me how talked or so. Though by HS everybody knew me to point nobody would really bother me after this gang jumped me.  So called friends didn't help me then so its telling of reality.  Interesting who helps or will try when don't even know them really heh.  Site used to be really good but now can't even punctuate.  Trash just blocks so its like why even bother.  Nearly impossible to trade information to see in RL.  Used to have High Scores in Space Invaders or other games which could play for hours.

An evening, recalled by the lady, written by me.It was late afternoon and it had been a tough day at the Commission. His kiss when he met me at the station was warm and affectionate; we chatted on the way to the hotel and as we checked in. When we arrived in the room I dumped my stuff on the bed and went out onto the veranda to look out over the lake. A few minutes later I heard him say ‘come here please’. I turned to see him with an impassive look on his face and standing in the middle of the room pointing at the floor just in front of his feet. He took hold of me around my waist and as he kissed me deeply, his hands travelled from my waist down my hips and across my bottom. Then up my back to my neck and then he felt my hair. He murmured ‘give me your tongue’ and I slipped it between his teeth. He nipped it and held it between his upper teeth and tongue. It was uncomfortable but not painful, he had done it often before and I had grown to like it. His hands resumed their journey around my upper body. They were firm, confident and moved without any hesitation. I could not have ed even if I had wanted too and the welcome feeling of melting inside began. He then released my tongue, kissed my lips then he turned me around and bent me over so my elbows were on the bed. He lifted my skirt and folded it over my back. His hands then roved freely over my bottom and between my thighs. He felt my mons, traced the line of my slit and ran his fingertips between down the crease between my buttocks, pausing to press on my anus. He then held me firmly against his thigh and began to spank me- this had recently become a regular beginning to our time together. One spank per cheek, then two, then three, they landed on my upper thighs and the curve of my bottom. He stopped at six and spent a few minutes gently rubbing my bottom, occasionally slipping his hand between my thighs. At ten per cheek it was stinging a lot. By twelve I was having difficulty keeping still. It was the knowledge that if I moved he would start again that kept me in position. The spanking was not unexpected and it had the desired effect. I felt myself starting to melt inside even more as he rubbed my stinging bottom and thighs once again. He stopped and made me stand. Then looked me in the eye, and then said ‘I have a few issues to resolve with you’. My stomach took a lurch, I’d been here before, he had shown no sign of real annoyance with me recently but then he never really did. He took me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said ‘strip and kneel’. He then turned and went to the veranda. It only took a minute to remove all my clothes and jewellery. I knelt, apprehensive about his return, embarrassed it had been a warm day; I had been wearing tights and had not had the time to wash and prepare myself for him. My make up had gone and I knew I did not look my best. He returned and pushed me forward to my knees and elbows. Pulling back my hair he locked my leather collar around my neck. It felt strange after the long break since I last wore it. The wrist cuffs were fitted next before he clipped them behind my back pinioning my wrists. He pulled my collar by its short leash to make me kneel up and then buckled a gag around my neck and pushed the red ball behind my teeth before tightening   it. He turned me so my back was to the mirror and placed a low backed chair in front of me. He could now see both the back and front of me. Sitting on the chair he told me to part my thighs wide and to emphasise the point his foot nudged my knees wide apart. I hoped he wasn’t going to touch me between my thighs as he so loved too, I so regretted not taking a shower immediately we arrived in the room. From his pocket he took some butterfly style nipple clips. I hate them and he knows it, he threaded their chain into the ring at the front of my collar and after pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger to make them fully erect he clipped one to each nipple. The discomfort was almost unbearable, I instinctively closed my thighs, and he ed and gently tugged the chain, sending sharp jolts through me. I did as I was told and spread my thighs wide, pushing my mons forward as far as I could. The gag muffling my weak protests. He spoke slowly, jerking the chain on saying each word. ‘Three weeks ago you forgot your make up, two weeks ago your stockings, last week your high shoes. You have arrived in my company wearing tights for the last 4 weeks, hence the immediate spankings. You have not kissed or greeted me properly on meeting for the same length of time. You make up today is poor, your hair isn’t brushed and you have not left your pubic hair as I instructed. In short young lady you are marring your beauty. You are fully aware how beautiful I think you are and you are distracting from it by being sloppy and that disappoints me. I will not accept you detracting from the pleasure I take in having such a desirable woman as my lover. Do you understand?’ I nodded, my eyes starting to water from the discomfort in my nipples and the realisation of how I had disappointed him. There was also the knowledge that I had been here before and if it followed a similar pattern then this was the case against me. By nodding I admitted my guilt. So I was about to punished for being a sloppy and inattentive submissive who had disappointed her Dominant.  He helped me to my feet by lifting me by the collar on my ring; it also had the effect of tugging on my nipples. He reversed his chair and tugged the chain as he removed each nipple clip. It stung as the blood filled each nipple, my knees almost buckled each time, the gag muffling the g. He then connected my wrists cuffs in front of me, and bent me over the back of his chair so my weight rested on my elbows. ‘Part your legs’ he said, I complied and hoped he would decide to have me, not cane me. I was to be disappointed, though recently spanked I accepted I had earned this too. He fetched a cane from his bag as I waited anxiously. Holding the back of my collar he rested the cane against my bottom, drew it back and struck me. ‘One‘ he said. All I did was hear the sound then the harsh sting reached my brain! He was using the flat cane.  A piece of flexible wood two feet long, an inch wide and a quarter of an inch thick. It didn’t leave tram lines or scars; I knew its stinging would last for ages and leave a square red mark on each buttock, but it would not bruise very much. Not that it seemed important at that moment. Though I find the cane painful, the thonged whip he occasionally uses is worse. Its thick strands inflict weal’s and their tips can get into the most intimate parts of my body. I’ve also known him use it on my breasts and belly. Each cane stroke went slightly lower until the last 3 all struck where the tops of my thighs and my bottom met. My legs kicked out from the stinging, by now I had dribbled spittle around the gag, my eyes were streaming and my nose had started to run. He let go the back of my collar and returned the cane to his bag. Returning he pulled me upright by my collar and turned me to face him. I refused to look him in the eye; I must have looked a real mess. He took my chin again forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt so ashamed of my appearance. He had told me I was beautiful so very often and it made me feel so proud when he said it. Now I had let him down by being too complacent. He unclipped the wrist cuffs, reattaching then in front. He said ‘Do you understand what I have told you?’ I nodded. ‘Then get down on your belly on the floor and spread your legs, I haven’t finished with you yet.’ My mind raced, would it be the whip now, on my bottom? I knelt and lay on the floor, my bottom was really stinging and the carpet was rough against my sore nipples, my belly and mons. I spread my thighs wide, dipped my spine and waited. I heard the pop of a tube of lubricant being opened. It wasn’t the whip!! The lube felt cold against my anus as he applied just enough. He undressed, I could feel him looking at my prone body, the line of my sex and the rose of my anus. I was fully exposed because it was how he wanted me to be. He knelt between my thighs and pumped his cock to make the head larger. He spread my bottom cheeks with one hand and pressed his cock against my anus with the other. The tip entered me, it was so uncomfortable. I had forgotten how tight a caning made the cheeks of my bottom clench. He pushed into me, stretching me. I struggled and tried to object; he held me and reminded me of the presence of the whip. Once he was past the muscular ring I relaxed as the discomfort subsided somewhat; I felt the cool of his skin against my hot bottom. He reached and took hold of my hair and collar, pulling them back. At the first slow thrust he said ‘one’. The thrusts were slow and firm, they made my bottom sting though my anus soon adapted to the presence of his cock. He told me to squeeze my buttocks together as he withdrew his cock, and relax as he thrust in. I tried to do so; each time I failed he added two extra thrusts. He was punishing me and reminding me of his dominance by not taking pleasure from the stimulation my anus could give him. It was a reminder that sexual pleasure could not be an excuse for a lack of submission. It was a relief when he reached 100 and stopped counting and thrusting. I was glad he was no longer forcing my nipples against the rough carpet, and his tummy was no longer making my sore bottom sting more. But I immediately missed the closeness and intimacy of the man I so wanted yet had disappointed. He pulled me to my feet by my collar, removed the ball gag and lifted my chin. I must have looked a real mess as I worked my jaw to stop it aching, I certainly felt a mess and I promised him and myself not to let my appearance or behaviour slip again. He kissed me and said he loved me; I’m not sure if it made me feel any better- or if it was supposed to! He led me by the arm into the bathroom and told me to wash his cock and balls. I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous! Mascara running, the marks of the gag around my mouth, spittle around my chin and collar and my nose running! I looked away ashamed as he wet a towel to clean the lube from between my buttocks. He turned me around so my back was to the mirror and rubbed the wet towel firmly between my buttocks, it stung where it touched the red marks.  I heard him say, ‘You have 30 minutes until dinner. Be ready on time.’ I knew that I would make him the proudest man alive when he let me take his arm to dinner. 30 minutes wasn’t long. But I so wanted to see that look of desire in his eyes that I would ensure I was just as he wanted me to be. I knew just how good he would make me feel in return. He went to the veranda to watch the sun set. I set to work, though I did sneak a look at the red marks on my bottom. They made me feel strangely proud because they were his marks and I had submitted to him. He had put them there and there was nothing I could have done about it even if I wanted to. Now I didn’t know what he was going to do with me later, but after being disciplined he always had something special planned for me! 

Ending a D/s relationship  Bullshit. It is not always the sub who is left feeling lonely, and ending things is the sub’s choice every bit as often as it is the Domme’s choice. And the pain of the loss is the same. Let’s knock off the toxic cliche that the Domme walks off whistling a jaunty tune with nary a look back and the sub is left a bawling mess curled up in a fetal ball on the bathroom floor. Dommes bleed the same blood as subs. Of course there are endless numbers of subs that have been hurt by Dommes, good and bad ones alike. People are hurt when relationships end, any kind of relationship…but when a Domme is hurt by the end of a relationship, she/he has the added burden of knowing THEY were supposed to be the one in control, the one who was supposed to know what they were doing and make things better….and they failed.

Blessing for the Leather Boys of San Diego 2026 May the spirit of fellowship guide us tonight.We gather as brothers, friends, mentors, and community membersto honor those who step forward with courage, pride, and a willingness to serve. We celebrate not only competition, but the values that bind us together: integrity, respect, accountability, and love for our leather family.Bless these contestants who have offered their hearts, their stories, and their commitment to this community. May they stand confidently in their truth, knowing that their worth is not measured by a title, but by the character they bring and the service they give.

Wow! Got a lot of postive feedback from my last journal entry.  So here's a follow-up with more stuff about me... Here are some of the questions I have gotten: Before we get started, as directed by my dom, I am required to tell you that as I write this, I, subMeghan, am completely naked, except for my dog collar...   Do I have a job?  Yes, I have a regular 8 to 5 job.  Boring stuff.  Basically it's data entry kinda job.  Not going to say to much more about that.  There are no sexy stories to tell here... Have I ever been raped?  Yes, but I don't think I'm going to talk about this... How did I get into this "lifestyle"?  I suspect that I've always had a desire to be dominated in some way.  (see my previous journal entries about my fantasies.)  However, I'm going to have to say that one of my early boyfriends was the one who officially got me into bondage.  Prior to him, everything was just in my head.  He was the first person to tie me up during sex... Do I live in a cage/dungeon? No, I live in a normal house.  We kinda use our garage as a makeshift "dungeon".  (Not really a dungeon, more of a playroom).  Nothing very wild, just a few eyebolts in one of the overhead beams for bondage purposes... Am I a whore/prostitute? No, I am not.  That said, in my "wild" high school days, I did kinda trade sex for help on some homework assignments.  It was with a fellow student and we sorta dated for awhile.  But mostly it was a relationship of convenience.  My reputation in high school was way worse than my actual life... Well that's all for now.  I hope you all have a great weekend.  I look forward to hearing from you.  Until next time, this is subMeghan signing off.

Ok, I have an idea. There is still many kinks in it but here is the basic idea. I think that minimum wage should be 15.00 an hour, at 40 hours per week that is 600 per week, at 52 weeks in a year that is 31,200 a year. Ok so now lets say that every person who is retired and not making that amount, well they should have their retirement increased to that. After all that is the cost to live according to the left. Same for any ADULT on disability. I will explain later why I said ADULT. Now for those who are working but not getting 40 hours a week or 15.00 an hour..ok we will subsidize their income with cash or food stamps or any combination of the two. HOWEVER, they must work some how for the government to get it. They can pick up trash, help paint lines on the side walks, work in places that are short handed because well the government really cannot afford to hire more people.. but if people that were already getting money from the government for doing nothing could fill in that would be awesome right??? We all get health care, not driven by insurance companies or by drug companies or by medical supply companies but by Drs alone. There is a set amount the goverment will pay for each drug, or test and no more. That stops what is going on now where drug companies can hike the price for no reason. Oh, in the health care, that needs to include dental, vision, mental health outside of the hospital, physical therapy, any thing else like chiropractor as well, all of that should be included. Want to have 4 kids, sure, but you do not get any more money for having them. Just your 600 per week that is it. You still have to work, do not worry about day care, that will be covered by the government. How you say, easy, that is one of the jobs those who do not have jobs can do. 24 hour day care so people can work jobs any time day or night and have child care. Now you are wondering why I did not include children on the disability, well personally the parents should not get a pay check just because their child was born with a disability. HOWEVER before you all go off pissed off, the child should get all medical care needed, things like wheel chairs, teachers and all of that, but more money for food or clothes and the likes, nope that is no different then any other kid. Ohh and just to let you know.. I have a sister who was born with Downs, my parents never got money for her. Now she is an adult, so now she should get the same standard of living that the rest of us should have. Ohhh I forgot the most important thing. Since this 600 per week is what I think is needed to live off of, then anyone making under 600 a week should have to pay any form of income tax, no federal, no state and no local.

At the end of 24 - 2025 .. I’ve stepped away from this platform before and return with intention—not curiosity, not games. I’m interested in real-world compatibility, emotional maturity, and mutual respect, not fantasy hopping. I seek a man who understands this lifestyle, is committed to it, and can actively participate in a stable vanilla-blend partnership.

Enforced chastity Asking it what its least/favorite foods are and feeding them what they least like except as a reward. Choosing if sub is allowed to look at men/women in the eyes Choosing sub's place for the night sub has ask for permission via text message for any unsupervised activity (going out, having a drink after work, ordering a second drink). Must wait for a reply before proceeding. If someone inquires about this the sub has answer truthfully. “my partner does not allow it", or "I have to ask for permission first."   Care to add to this? 

In correspondence with a gent, I was inspired to write this.  I am posting it here because it will help you understand me. Q1 - Are you looking for a Unicorn?  Since it has only been a few months since my beloved hubby died, I am NOT seeking My Unicorn at this time.  Instead, I seek D/s friends and experiences so that I can enjoy My Dominance.   Q2 - What do you like to do or have done to you? I'm not going to list specific sexual activities here.  You can read my preferred activities in my profile.  I put much care into what I have selected there. I will, however, tell you about Me and My sexuality.  I enjoy connected conversation, a gents' scent as we hug and that tingle in My loins as he kisses My hand.  I enjoy the angst on his face when I direct him to lift My hair while I put on My jacket.  An then, I revel in the public intimacy as he reaches into the warmth at the nape of My neck and lifts My hair. I'm very oral and tactile.  I love kissing, massage and foot worship.  I love to be touched and tasted.  Yes, he shall tend Me.  But more, he shall adore Me.  I am possessive of My boys' genitals and ass.  CFNM seems a natural way of being and reinforcing status.  I am private.  My gent and I understand the quality of our time together.  But, it's nobody else's business. LadyD.

Gratitude and Adoration slave needs to Iive in a world of gratitude and adoration. The more it emphasizes those two mental attributes, the happier it will be accepting its true slave self. My training will help it develop these two alternate mental states, slave.

To clear up some answers before you reach out. I am a Bigger Person. I am around 290 in weight and have put a lot of energy, time, and effort into myself. I go to a nutritionist every other week, stick to my meds, and have no issue with my size. If you are not into me at 290 (about 30 pounds lighter than earlier this year), then I will not be into YOU when I am lighter than 290.  I am biologically female, Assigned Female At Birth, and identify as non-binary. I am no longer in a power dynamic. I am looking for people interested in a non-traditional service submissive with particular specialties. I have realized I am more of an alpha personality because if there is too much drama/ multiple alphas, I will back off and do my own thing. I am loyal as fuck but independent as well. I am looking for Sadists who enjoy physical, emotional, and psychological play while being aware of their mental and physical health. I am aware of my mental health; I expect you to be mindful of yours.  

School for the Bi-curious   For those boys who need just a little ‘push’   BC101 Introduction to Bisexuality Course Overview   Course involves 5 classroom experiences, each dedicated to providing students with the training necessary to reach new levels of self-awareness. Each class is conducted by a lead femdom instructor and an assist femdom instructor. Instructors will be fully clothed unless decided otherwise. Below is an outline of each session along with learning goals and student assignments. Before the start of class   Students accepted into the program will be assigned a partner - a BC Buddy - deemed to be a good match based on a variety of factors including age, station in life, education, and personality. Students will be designated as either ‘heads’ or ‘tails’ to facilitate ive decisions involving student interactions. Two weeks prior to the start of class students will meet with their assigned instructor one-on-one to go over the syllabus and discuss expectations. In addition, students will be fitted for a chastity device to enable a two-week adjustment period prior to the beginning of class. Finally, students admitted to the program will be required to take an HIV test prior to the start of class. Overview of Classes   For each class, students will be given very explicit instructions in order to relieve participants the burden of decision-making. Prior to the beginning of class students will agree that all instructions will be followed without question and that the only talking allowed will be when directed by the lead instructor. Instructors will rotate each session between lead and assistant instructor roles.   I. Class One/Two A. Section A – Curriculum and Student Responsibilities Section A begins with students kneeling facing the lead instructor. The lead instructor will go over the syllabus so that students will understand their responsibilities. Below is a possible EXAMPLE text the lead instructor might use: “Both of you are here because we all know this is where you belong. It’s time for each of you to take the next step and as your instructors we will make sure you both graduate this program. Now on to the curriculum. Today one of you will learn, through a guided approach, the oral technique outlined in your syllabus. Next week the roles will be reversed and the process repeated. Of course, a man is not fully bisexual until he has experienced having another man’s cock in his ass. Classes three and four will follow a similar format with each student experiencing anal penetration from another man. Our fifth and final session will be the graduation ceremony where students will be guided through a demonstration of your newly learned skills. The graduation ceremony culminates in what we refer to here as ‘popping the bubbly’. Each student will be required to swallow a load of their partner’s cum. There may be other instructor interns present at the graduation as deemed appropriate. Students will be graded on their enthusiasm and mid-term grades will be provided by the end of session 2. The student with the highest grade will be rewarded by being allowed to decided who will be the bottom for session number 3. Disciplinary recommendations are spread throughout the curriculum. The assistant instructor for the day will be responsible for determining student disciplinary actions which will be carried out by the students themselves. This is a recommendation only. The institute believes students should hold each other accountable. In addition, such activity helps students further understand their own role better. Finally, most of our instructors enjoy watching and learning more about the disciplinary process. NOTE: Since students are graded on enthusiasm, disciplinary actions are expected to be as harsh as ordered by the instructors.  B. Section B – Disrobing and Genital Familiarity Section B begins with students standing face-to-face in front of the seated lead instructor. The instructor will toss a coin to determine which student will have their clothing removed by their partner first. Upon selection instructor will guide each student in removing the clothing of their BC Buddy making sure that the individual who’s clothing is being removed does not assist.  Once complete, fully disrobed students will be required to kneel side-by-side facing the lead Instructor and begin masturbating slowly as directed in order to begin the arousal process. This will be referred to throughout the semester as the ‘ready’ position. Students will be required to maintain arousal throughout each session. Next students will be required to shave each other’s genitals as directed by their instructor. A coin will be tossed, and one student will prepare a bowl of warm water while the other retrieves several beach towels to be laid on the floor in front of the instructor. The instructor will then guide each student through the process which will include lathering up the entire region, massaging the cock throughout, and holding on to the cock so all areas can be shaved. Once complete students will be required to assume the ‘ready’ position. This activity serves a dual purpose. First, students will become familiar with the genital region of their BC Buddy through a slow, directed process. In addition, shaved genitals greatly enhance sensitivity further supporting advancement through the process. Upon completion the assistant instructor will examine the shaved genitalia. Any evidence of unshaved sections will require discipline. RECOMMENDATION: 5 cane strokes delivered while bent over a chair in the middle of the room. Assistant instructor will count off strokes while the student receiving the strokes will say thank you after each stroke. The lead instructor will instructor the student to deliver the strokes with increasing severity whereby the fifth and final stroke is very harsh. Students will be reminded constantly that they are being graded on their enthusiasm. B. Section B - Beginning Oral Techniques As students kneel before their instructor in the ready position, a coin will be tossed to determine which student will be the first to learn a basic oral technique designed by institute instructors and sanctioned as the fundamental oral method of the institute. Once designated the student will remain kneeling and the subject will stand facing the student.  The student will be required to take the subject cock into to his hand and hold it against his tummy while being guided by then instructor to lick the shaft up and down. This will continue until the instructor expands the service area to include the balls. Student will continue the slow and purposeful licking of the shaft and balls of the subject in a slow and deliberate manner being constantly encouraged by the lead instructor. The instructor will then direct the student to guide the head of the cock into the students mouth, very briefly, for the first time. Offering supporting comments like, “doesn’t it feel good to finally have a cock in your mouth?” or “don’t be shy. These activities are designed to take you where you want and need to go.”. Of course, the student is reminded that he will be graded on his enthusiasm and attitude. Instructor will hand the student a pacifier and instructing him to suck on the pacifier like he was a little baby. He will be told th

This is my kind of Dominance     The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and is looking for.       The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the ive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her.     Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;

Reflecting i sit here in chastity, reminiscing on my past, contemplating the decisions i have made, rationalizing some and regretting others.  It is the ones i regret which pierce deep into the soul, humbling the spirit, causing conflict within, creating a helplessness that overwhelms me into a deepening slavishness. Recollections of disobedience consume my mind, no relief, no escape, an affirmation that i am not perfect.  Is it possible for me to make reparation? Are there limits or do i kneel quietly and endure whatever is given to me for my disobedience?   geo

Him: I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you! Me: Then why did you contact me?  Him: I just said. I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you. Me: But you are white. Him: Is that a problem? Me: In the 1950s, it would have been illegal for us to have a relationship.  Him: So? Me: So, a 1950s style relationship between us would involve us not having a relationship. Him: Some people did it, didn't they? Me: Illegally, involving scandal and and the likelihood of violence and likely damage to at least one partner's class status. Him: It could not have been all that bad. Me: Loving vs. Virgina happened one year before I was born. Lynchings are still not unheard of. Him: . . .  Me: Toodles!

It was a rough day for this new slave in training He was very willing and eager to please We started out with his oral servitude which happened to be very subpar I knew it would be because he had bragged about what an expert he was at using his tongue I had to get him to understand that a slave never brags about what he can do because that is not his place If I choose to acknowledge your talente in an area, I will issue that compliment and you may wear it as a badge of honor  The ultimate goal is for you to make me squirt and then drink and lick up every drop Are you going to be worthy pet for me??!!   

Push Limits!!! Why? Lack of experience and imagination or just to make make a submissive do things they stated as a limit. Fully understand pushing and developing a submissive towards the Dominants desires but those who start off by concentrating just on pushing & testing limits surely lack a true understanding of the lifestyle. As always i welcome the views and comments of O/others.

On The Possibility of a Dream When I was 20something, I discovered Female Domination like a supernova in the night sky. It bathed my thoughts in a different light, it revealed hidden meanings in the way I felt, and it made it seem like anything was possible. It was strongly sexual - physical. Almost like a drug that charged me and made everything more vivid, more alive. In the center of this supernova was an archetypal vision - Woman, the essence of all I desired, the goal of all my efforts. The embodyment of all good and pleasure. Impressive as this was, I think it was incomplete. Now it's been 30 years, and with the help of several intelligent and perceptive Dominas, i can see more clearly. i realize that this raw power, the blind almost biological impulse, is made human, civilized, and meaningful by service - from bending to and serving a real woman. Not an archetype. A human being with her dreams, fears, hopes, and yes weaknesses. Does this mean I think my initial vision was wrong? No - I think that almost primeval response is the natural fuel for a rock-solid relationship. It is the capacity of seeing my partner as the channel, the embodyment of that feminine divine energy, that can charge our whole relationship and add layers of meaning "vanilla" relationships lack. Is this a dream? Maybe. But I know my soul is religious and its dream religion is the woman i would share my life with.

So I suppose I should expand upon what we are seeking so as not to waste anyone's time. I am absolutely not a Dom or even a switch, not really. Not in kink and not in life. But I am looking for a submissive. Who will let me have my way with them like a spoiled child. I want someone so wrapped around my fingers that even though there really aren't any consequences I can give them, and that even though they could over power me or outsmart me they choose not to they choose every second of their submission wholely over and over again. No matter what I am doing to them they choose me as their princess. A submissive daddy type if you will. And daddys arent controlled with fear and pain and neglect but with love and attention and sweet words...and other tantalizing treats.    I feel this is the type of relationship Westley and Buttercup had. Lol.    Ok I am sure I have done a not so stellar job explaining this but hopefully a bit better then before.    Be well everyone.   As always curious friends are always welcome as well.

I'm hesitant to update my profile. There's a few things that need changed, and a few more that need added. I wonder how long it will take to be approved... If I seemingly ignore you, keep chatting anyway, because I may be unable to respond. Updates: Reiterate that Hubby is a platonic friend, not a kink, sex, or D/s partner Political ideology matters. Drumpf=no, nuh-uh, hell naw Sub/slave skill bonus for repairing fence, organizing online selling Can't meet w/in 6 weeks, don't bother until you are. (Maybe 8 for holidays?) Be realistic!! No, you can't completely escape the Real World by being a slave in my Home. I'm not going to kidnap you and/or lock you in a cage, even if you beg and plead. That's foolish, unrealistic, and would be irresponsible for me to do.  We each have to be accountable to some degree. That's for your protection and mine. (If you don't understand this, ask.) May have The Form™️ online soon. Wish me luck! lol

Okay let's try this again.  Kicked off the month with the headlight. Not long after that I am pulling into a space at work and a wheel well cover thing falls off of my car. I've been driving around without it, no idea how important it is but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. Follow that up with taking the trash out one night and the bin hitting and cracking the rear tail light of the car. Perfect.  Let's move beyond the car, shall we? I'm hosting all of my parents for Thanksgiving. For the week, really. I plan out a full menu, hit several stores for every ingredient. Buy a giant turkey so I can make things like turkey soup and turkey pot pie afterwards. Two days before T Day one parent gets covid. The next day another parent gets covid. They aren't coming. I'm down to one parent showing up and roughly four bajillion dollars worth of food. Sigh. But okay, their covid symptoms aren't too horrible and that's what really matters, so let's get back to me. I power through. Fancy Tuesday night dinner. Afterwards I brine the turkey. It's going great, I'm nearly done, just need to add a little more water to top it off. I turn to the sink to finish. And that's when the brine bag tipped over and a river of salty herbal apple cider rushed over and into every nearby surface. At 10:00 at night. There's a lake on the stove. I don't mean a splash of liquid, there's depth to it. A tsunami flowed over the stove, between the stove and counter, all over the counter, into drawers, down into cabinets, and onto the kitchen mats and the floor. Did I mention it's 10:00? Right. Thankfully the entire bag didn't tilt so I refill and hope for the best so I can start kitchen recovery. An hour and an entire roll of paper towels later, I have emptied full drawers into the sink, pulled the stove out to sop up brine and all the herbs down the sides of the stove and counter, washed the floor. And all I can do is laugh, because November is kicking my ass.  But wait, there's more. My dad is in charge of the pie. He brought some ingredients, can't find them, asks me to look through his things. Sure, I can do that. Unzip compartments to take a peek. What am I looking at? It doesn't fully register and I nearly put  my hand in to pull it out. Then it hits me. These are sex toys. Big fucking EW. Why would he not remember that there are things in a bag his daughter probably doesn't want to see? November is trying to kill me.  I met a man. He was interesting and I liked him more than I planned to. Besides being a nice person, we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things, and that's rare for me. And then he disappeared. Then reappeared. Then disappeared again. I'm chalking it up to bad timing. Oddly enough, the most recent ex is sniffing around. A lot. I have no idea what to do with that.  If CS had not been hungry and eaten the original version, you would have also read about the work thing, the arguments with my dad, and my traitor dog. And there would have been comedy sprinkled throughout. But I'm tired. So this is a poor second attempt to document why November is the absolute worst and there are still several days left. I give up. November wins. 

This is my comment on a post by another Domme. I quote statements in her post and then comment. It has a lot to do with my previous journal post on Finding a Domme.  Your points - "Let’s be clear—finding a Domme for a genuine FLR, a 24/7 dynamic, isn’t just hard; it’s incredibly rare. You’re not after a casual fling. You’re seeking a deep, powerful connection that most people can only dream about." "You can keep chasing a fantasy, or you can face reality. The Domme you seek is out there, but finding Her demands effort, investment, and a willingness to reconsider what you’re willing to give." Investment does not have to be money. Think of everything else you have to give, invest time, emotion, etc, in her. Payment might be in triplicate in ways you cannot imagine. "A relationship with a Domme is no different. It requires investment—your time, energy, and resources. If you want to serve a powerful woman, be prepared to give." - Giving as in sweat equity. Be willing to do the work, and put your whole self into what you want at your core. I can't speak for all, but I would bet that in a loving relationship, she will pour sweat equity into you. It will look different from the D side, but you will feel it. The comments in the original post and discussions are interesting. They highlight differences in understanding what a lifestyle relationship looks like, interpretations, expectations, and desires.   A lot of communication needs to happen for a lifestyle relationship built to last.

Here is the more detailed version of my "about me": It took me a while to settle in on using the name “breastfeedingboy”.  I went through several other possibilities first.  But I’ll explain that a bit. First ... you could say I’m very “mouthy”.  Because that’s what I do.  I use my mouth.  But more in that in a bit.  LOL I am in my 40s, live in the southeastern part of Pennsylvania.  I’m not married and I have no kids.  I am a straight guy with a steady job, a love for soup and steak and football. Now ... I have a strong jaw and am “mouthy” because I enjoy ... Breastfeeding, whether dry or otherwise.  If breastfeeding is something you crave having done to you, I am your titty boy.  Not just for a few minutes, but however long you desire.  Make me nurse you for hours.  I will keep up. Cunnilingus (eating p***y, to put it vulgarly).  From hood to perineum and every little place in between, I will give my tongue a workout so that you are made to skyrocket to the zenith.  If you are soppy wet, I will lick you dry.  If you are dry, I will lick you wet.  And I don’t stop until you tell me to.  If you wrap your legs around my ears or try to wiggle away, I stay with you and keep lapping until you verbally tell me to stop. Toe sucking with foot massages.  I’m still learning about this one but know that the entire foot needs pleasured while the toes are washed clean.  I will keep researching it and learning more about it.  But you could have the stresses of your day rubbed and sucked right out of your body through your feet and toes, all while you lean back and enjoy a glass of your favorite wine. Kissing (on the mouth), with or without the tongue.  ‘A woman can tell a lot about a guy, just based on the way he kisses.’ This may be a cliché statement, but it still has a great deal of truth to it.  If you can’t convey anything she likes through a kiss, what difference will the rest make? I am very big on hugs and cuddling. Now ... about the profile name. I thought about ‘oralslave’, but I’m not a slave. And using the word oral just sounded ugly. I thought about ‘mouthyboy’ but I felt that made me sound like a bratty smartass.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I’m an obedient soul. I thought about “licknsuck” but then I immediately stopped considering that one as I wanted my name to show some class and some dignity. ‘breastfeedingboy’ was the goldilocks choice.   It sounded just right.    I’m not a slave and not interested in being one.  I would say I am a pleaser, which is why I selected submissive for my profile. I am most interested in making the female body feel goooood, slowly and in several different places on the body.  I will be looking for a woman who enjoys the company of someone with “mouthy” benefits. Other things I enjoy: Opening the door for a lady Pushing in the chair for a lady Flea Markets State Parks Action/Adventure Movies Suspense/Thriller Movies   I’m not offering a service.  And I’m also not looking to buy a service from anyone.  I am simply a submissive type guy who loves to use his mouth.  And I would love to meet the woman who would love to control my mouth in whatever way she wanted. So if you are interested in anything you just read on this profile, please contact me and let’s chat. ------------------------------   Not to come off as being rude but just so I’m not misleading anyone, I understand that sucking cock is also an oral “mouthy” thing to do.  But I am straight and I have no interest at all in doing that.  So you don’t need to contact me and remind me that sucking cock is oral.  I am aware that it is oral. There is absolutely no chance you will ever get me to do that.

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i am a submissive man... i have had submissive tendancies for as long as i can remember... it all started with a dream... Around the end of Oct '22 i met a kitten... how we initially met isn't that important. But the chemistry was obvious, to me at least. We arranged to meet at the coast where we both live.. as it turned out the kitten lives about a 10 minutes drive from where I live. While we were walking the boarwalk, we stopped into a bar.. neither of us drank alcohol, but the conversation was interesting, as the kitten pointed out women she thought attractive.. which led to her confession that she was bi. As we left the bar.. we stopped at a tattooo shop, inquired about nipple piercings (for me, as i always wanted one pierced).. turns out both of hers are pierced, as i discovered while there. We walked back to our cars.. stopping for some frozen yougurt concoction, it wasn't very tastful as I recall.. while having the snack at a table by the sand... kitten admitted that she "was into pain if properly administered". I was a bit taken aback, but as i am core sub, i understood completely what she was saying. Understanding, that, for me, infliction of pain in various manners produced chemicals and allowed me to forget the grinds of life for a moment or two.  We enjoyed each others company. Upon departing, as I walked her to the car, I stole a hug and a kiss, that we both seemed to enjoy, and i recieved a positive vibe as we said our good bye's. We texted each other later the following week, "I hope to see your place sometime soon" she texted.. I decided to invite her to the beach again the the following Sunday morning, but schedules wouldn't allow... we did decide on late brunch, we would meet at my place. (the story goes... she was clamped on the couch.. i pulled her nipple clamp chain while i banged her with ma fingers, she came multiple times) CMNF for he most part during tis session.   Decided she was a slave and not a kitten or a submissive..  Reminder notes to write about...  The next Sunday we had brunch... I finger banged her on the couch and told her I wasn't going to fuck her yet... i was going to make her wait.. she wanted to get slapped in the face.. I had serious Dom drop after this as it went against my grain to soo much as lay a finger on a woman.. called her the next day to check on her mental state, cause mine wasn't great.. she was in a very good mood and happy.. the slapping got easier to deal with as we progressed in our process and play. Two Sundays later we had cropping session.. and caned her.. with her new cane.  She got covid... two or three weeks later.. she came over for an hour or two before going on break with family.. in front of the fire.. she dry humped me until orgasm.. she came when i pulled her hair while she was doing this... like instantly as I tugged on her main. She went on xmas break When she got home Jan 12th, that Sunday started with otk after she came out of bathroom in nothing but xmas gift panties... told her to pick a tool from the closet, she chose crop, dragged her into the doghouse by her hair.. we had a cropping session, left marks, she rode a dildo stuck to a saucer plate (while throating me) had a very intense convulsive orgasm while doing this... dildo was expensive and nice one, after cropping and then gave me the blow job of my life... sucked on my balls while stroking my cock, almost made me nut but i stopped her.. was going to fuck her later.. after she worshipped my feet, failed doggy, as I lost my erection in hassle for condom, or she would have gotten fucked.. i was hard all night before that, but she was kind and understanding about it.. I just felt like my cock had been hard for so long all night it was just done lol.. after cropping.. she came again before she left on the couch, during her aftercare session i rubbed her button until she came... after she had put all her clothes back on... they all came off again.. she dressed and left.   We met briefly.. at a bar.. i don't drink but she had two glasses of wine.. we flirted with each other and she said she was going to fuck me.. we went our seperate ways.. we will go to a club to see bulesque next Thursday, but she will come of to get used monday prior.. to be continued.  We met again when she came over.. i wonder if she stricly comes over to be used.. i was giving her aftercare and massaging her red welted ass... i noticed her butthole was so pink.. and pretty.. my mouth found its way there somewhat naturally.. it was a first for both of us.. she loved it and so did i. She certainly earned it.  Haven't seen the kitten going on three weeks... between her studying and spring breaking... I was taken aback when she texted me saying she wanted to come over next weekend.. i think the stress of school and all the studying has gotten to her.. she misses the distraction of the crop.. and needs some masochistic distraction. More to come..         

Getting permanently collared When its my turn to be collared permanently I have been wondering what kind of format that will take. Obviously it will be up to my master but I'm sure I want it to be special like a young bride dreaming of her wedding. The quiet collaring The collar goes on, and thats it, the bond is there between master and slave. The small symbolic ceremony (and my favourite) The collar gets locked into place and myself and my master go down to the beach and I throw the key into the sea. I think that is symbolic that the collar is going to be on permanently from now on. The gathering Some of masters friends ge together to watch the collaring and depending on whether master likes to share or not they all break in the newly owned slave. I wonder when the time comes which one will be for me.

 He whispers in your ear, DON’T MOVE! and walks away,  now what runs through your mind. He returns and gives you another little kiss on the lips. As you’re standing there you feel a feather touching your right ear, it goes under your chin and back up to your left ear. It moves to your nose the down to your chest. The feather gently caresses around your left breast then over to your right breast.  The feather ventures to each nipple circling them several times.  Down towards the belly button it travels circling it several times.  The feather heads to your hip and then down the outside of your leg around your ankle and back up the inside of your leg cross up above your pubic hair carefully making sure not to get it wet.  He takes your hand in his and reminds you to keep your eyes closed. You recognize the way to your bedroom and he places you next to your bed. 

i cant I cant take it any longer i want to behave and make him proud but the walls i have built to hide my emotions to protect myself from being hurt i cant take it i have known him 11 years and i cant take it any longer i am getting mentally exhausted i cant do it any longer im about to crash and burn i know you will be there for me but truth be told the walls are up so i dont get hurt i love you so fucking much and i dont want it to end i know you always say i wont be replaced and that calms me a little but its still in the back of my head i cant take it any longer what can i do i dont want these walls up but i know ill become emotionally wreck i have all these feelings and i know once the walls fall again i will need you more than ever before these emotions i have been hiding will come out are you ready for that?

When I say that I want to turn a woman "trashy", I'm often asked to define what I mean by "trashy".  A woman being trashy is much the same thing as a guy being a typical douchebag or tool. Below are some qualities that, in my opinion, make a woman trashy.    Slutty clothes in the wrong situations. Obnoxious tattoos Over use of profanity Badly applied makeupgiant hoop earrings. Being overly noisy and argumentative at inappropriate timesinappropriate places Bad habits Doused in cheap perfume Crazy unemployable hair styles   These are just a few examples meant to bring a stereotype to mind. We would, of course, go with what works best with you. That would come from getting to know you better.     I'm also often asked why I would want this. Aside from the fact that it turns me on, a chick with a questionable past who proudly owns up to it is going to be 100% more loyal than some goodie-goodie who keeps secrets. 

Wake up The day has been long and tiring. you get the last seat on the bus. you are grateful for the opportunity to sit. your legs are tired from the day. At the next stop several people get on. One old man ends up standing in front of you. you glance at him, but, try to ignore the old codger. Vaguely you hope his grey beard does not shed on you. Somewhere deep inside you a disquiet disturbs your comfort. you raise up and offer the old guy your seat. Other people on the bus admire your generosity. The old guy sighs as he carefully lowers his creaky body into the space you have left him. A lady sitting across from you says, "that was a nice thing to do." It was, but, that is not why you sacrificed. No, and not because you were thinking of one of your elderly parents. No, this was not a 'nice thing to do.' This was in compliance with your inner need to serve and suffer. you have a slave heart.

A good mantra for a submissive to live by... A submissive’s life is to be in service as required and of service however desired and solely for their Dominant and Owners pleasure amusement and comfort. A submissive’s function should be to strive to be a completely willing and capable of serving for the constant enhancement of the Dominant and Owner's daily life and pleasure in every way possible and on a continuous basis with absolute obedience, commitment and dedication. A submissive understands that the decisions and rules of the Dominant are to be accepted and followed without hesitation or conflict at all times regardless of personal feelings or conflict.  A submissive understands and willingly accepts that it needs its Dominant’s control, use, discipline and punishment as deemed fit at anytime. A submissive needs to accept that it's Dominants and Owner's pleasure, amusement and comfort must be its priority and be all that really matters to the submissive foremost.A submissive understands and accepts that its own pleasure must come from how well it pleases, serves and accepts being used and controlled by it's Dominant and that it may be rewarded if deemed appropriate or pleasurable to its Owner.

Without a doubt, this site has become somewhat disappointing.  The same people continue to CLAIM that they are seeking an owner, play, or just sex, yet are only haphazardly playing the contact game.    Now to top it off the site webmaster has changed the definition of FEMALE to Feminine adding to the overall confusion for people as myself seeking ONLY HETROSEXUAL contacts - not trans-anything! I don't care how you identify - that's your thing.  I do not and will not shove my cock into a man's asshole!  That's my thing!    So I respectfully ask you who are inclined to list yourself as feminine - at least provide us STRAIT guys seeking a WOMAN a heads up.  To all the natural women posting - if you haven't found your niche after 2-10 years on this site - it's most likely not going to happen, or maybe it's you?  

  Hello long time no see.  For those of us who have lived the lifestyle and have lived this way of life for a long time we've endured trials and tribulations and it seems more than our share of failures as well as some success.  For those coming into the lifestyle,  some things are new, most things are not  BDSM is the natural order of life.  There will always be dominant, submissive, property, owner, slave, submissive, bottom, top, all these are just words used to describe that order. There's no going back, No utopia to the human condition Someone will always lead, someone will always follow, some will always use, some will always take, some always give, some always do nothing except sit there and not move forward for a lack of fear for lack of decisiveness for lack of just Not wanting to take that chance. Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism  are the tools of the lifestyle, the sex all that pretty much remains the same. The only difference is who's doing it,who's using it,who's living it. Humans are a short lived species better to have lived life then to wait until end to experience it at death's door.      

The subject of politics came up during a recent talk with a submissive man and it quickly went to the subject of abortion, and I had some marvelous revelations on the subject of politics and religion and sex.  I paraphrase in part and the rest is history... "I voted for Trump - his heart is in a good place" "I think his heart could be in a good place yet he took action to ensure that My right to sovereignty over My body was abolished.  What the fuck is that?" "Well, he didn't do it to you."  "Yes, yes he did.  He placed two Supreme Court Justices to help overturn Roe v Wade." "Ruth Bader Ginsberg didn't really believe in blah blah blah" "I don't care what she believed in, no one has a right to control My body." "So how long?  How many weeks?" "How many weeks for what? There are NO weeks.  This is not anyone else's decision." "Well, that's murder."  "Who says?  You? Your friends, your church, your politics?" "Do you believe in murder?" "Who are we murdering?  Do you have leather cowhide seats and shoes on your feet?  How about all the meat which you eat - that is murder - terminating life - where are the rules?  Why  is it murder if I am terminating the propagation of cells within My body?  Are we murdering cancer?  Who told you you get to choose what is okay to call murder and what is not?  Who told you you could decide for Me?  I terminate those cells in My body from manifesting and it is My right to do so." "I didn't say murder." "Yes you did.  You said at what time, how many weeks does it become murder.  You are now classifying Me as a murderer if I conduct business on My body." Silence. "What I am saying is, you cannot speak to Me about this subject.  You have no idea what you are talking about.  No one is telling you you have to pay $500 a month for a life, if you conceive with a woman.  No one is controlling your sex! You do not have a right, no one does and it's none of your business.  Is this an issue of the Bible?  Who told the bible it had ANY business in My cunt?  This is My body.  No one gets to decide what happens with it except for Me. Period.  "Well what if you want the baby and the mother doesn't?"  "Tough cookies!  TOO bad.  That is not a decision for you to make and you don't then get to have some tantrum and make Me have a child - that is bloody bullshit!  What the fuck are we talking about?  You don't get to claim some part of My sex just because you have a constant erection and implanted in Me.  You made a D O N A T I O N.  Once you implant your seed, you gave up the rights to that seed.  Once it passes to Me, it then belongs to Me.  What are you, some indian giver?  If you want some commitment to My sex, then that has to be in some kind of sex prenup. I can sign right on the dotted line, I, Ms. C do agree to have one sub ______ pour his seed into My cunt and thereby give him rights over My cunt to then decide whether I and My body, agree to have or have not to bring forth life from My body.   Anything else is Psychological Rape and I don't agree with that!   Can you imagine going to the bank and depositing your funds and the bank says, hey we reserve the right to borrow your money indefinitely and with variable interest depending on whether we are making a profit."  LOL  At one point in the discussion, I had to ask: Why the fuck do you believe you have some dominion over My cunt?  Do I have control over your cock?  Legally?  lol Here is the last arguement and listen up here boys and girls - who the fuck are you to decide what life is of value and what life is not?  Human life is more important than all other life forms???  Are you seriously going to pander that self righteous malarky on Me?  lol   Humans are SOOOOOOOO self absorbed and elitist and primitive. And please, shut the Bible thumping door right now.  I will pay the price with My maker in My own time of this you can be assured and THAT, My wayward PRIMATE is NONE of your concern!  So I ask again, who gave you the right to get all up into My stuff and stake some claim over it? Why do you think you have ANY rights over My body and what happens with it?  WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT MY / WOMAN'S  BLOODY CUNT???  It truly is NONE of YOUR business! Take care of your own junk and leave ours alone! No apologies offered. Here is a novel idea;  how about a bar code (back of your ID) which tells all about you, drugs, diseases, health  issues, whether or not you grant authority over your cunt/dick to a sexual partner, NSA, marriage minded.  Then we can just scan one another and be done with the charade!

He was there when i was brokenHe was there when the tears shreddedHe was there when my meds wasnt workingHe was there walking by my side protecting meHe was there to pick up the pieces when my family threw me to the wolvesHe was there for me when i felt aloneHe was there to pick up the phone when i needed to talkHe was there for me when i had a mental snap due to my medical problemsHe was there for me through thick and thinHe was there tp correct me when i messed upHe was there and has been for going on 11 yearsIt all started by a simple friend requestHe was there for my failures and successesCan you say that about your Master? If not good you deserve itMy Master is my saver im still breathing because of him thank you Master i respect you and thank you for being there for me and allowing me to walk by you now its my turn to return it if you need me im one phone call away just a text away im here for you

I was a member of CollarMe, then joined CollarSpace.  This is my third account here and will be my last.  If I don't find a sincere true slave for my search then I will move on to a different website.I am 100 percent real and sincere. I want a slave who is also real and sincere. I will answer questions as openly and honestly as I possibly can.  I have set up filters on messages.  Sorry, not sorry.  The last account had way too many messages that were from fakes and wannabes.  I appreciate those who are new to the lifestyle but I am someone who lives the lifestyle as much as possible.   I am also in the process of moving and so there will be periods of time where I might be slow to respond.  If you can't be patient then that is your issue and not mine.   Sorry to sound like a hateful *itch but it is what it is.  I am here for my own search and I also do not dance or jump through hoops for anyone.

Since adding journal entries won't cause my profile to need re-approval, I'm adding this after reading some of the profiles on the site.   I'm looking for trans Dommes or switches. No men or women unless you're exceptional, sorry, I've been attracted to trans women since 2011 (I was bisexual then). I'm not looking for sub trans girls because being a Domme doesn't really come naturally to me. I can be a Domme for sure, have been for years since it's so hard to find Dommes of both the trans and cis types. I also met too many subs and was interested in cyber RPs a lot then. Not so much anymore unless you're really good, because my tastes have changed over 15 years.   I very rarely chat to couples though I used to meet good ones on Reddit. Maybe 1 so far. It depends on if you're sincerely interested in trans girls or sissies.   I like watching gangbang and reverse gangbang porn, but probaby won't do it IRL. Not even a sissy orgy which I dream about so often. Fantasies and reality should be separate. I want someone exclusive in general, and please don't contact me if you're part of or looking for a poly household. Couples or being part of a throuple (a third wheel, not a fourth), will be very rare if at all and I'd probably be looking for my own lover anyway even if I was part of one, so you might be better off contacting someone who's poly.   I watch cuckold and cuckquean porn, and it'll be most likely a polite no if you're interested in acting out those things IRL. I don't mind acting as the occasional sissy cuck who cleans up a woman after she gets a huge fat cock, or maybe as the trans bull in some situations. Depends on what mood the three of us are in. I also do think of cuckqueaning trans or cis women sometimes, such as tying them up and making them watch me with a younger or sexier chick with bigger tits and an arse. That said, those RPs will probably be for hookups only, and I'd avoid them in general. I don't want to get into a relationship and destroy it with either type of cucking, though if you have strong fantasies about it, we can roleplay it anytime. For example, with dildos, fleshlights, body forms, etc.    If you're a cuckoldress or a polyandrous hotwife/polygamous couple/polygynous Dom, please avoid contacting me unless you understand that no matter what, I won't be completely submissive to you forever or a 'perfect cuckold'. I could be in the bedroom during the RP and Dom if you ask me to have sloppy seconds later, but I won't be exclusive to you at all or a complete slave, unless you can devote yourself to me as a Domme in the exact same way.    I prefer gentle, caring Mommy Dommes instead of heartless and cruel bitch Dommes, though I don't mind some sadistic and humiliating or hurtful RPs if you enjoy them too. I just want a Domme to serve who isn't selfish and all about herself, which seems to be most of them. A Domme is slightly more in charge of the relationship than her sub, but it doesn't mean she ignores and disregards her sub's feelings. Think of the dynamic in the same way as a male Dom who has to take care of his sub as well even if he dominates her, or else she'll find someone else.   If you didn't take note of this in my previous journal entries, please don't contact me at all if you're a pro Domme or expect any sort of tributes and dumb contracts to be signed which only benefit you. I've seen them all and IDC in the slightest about paying to act as if I'm being cared for. Some of you are disappointed in what you find online and IRL, and I don't really blame you because most subs and Dom/mes aren't very good at what they claim to do. It's very frustrating to put in efforts for your relationships or dates and find someone who half-arses it. I get it, but your previous disappointments have nothing to do with me, and vice versa. I've had enough people contact me on here and other social media explaining that a Domme needs tribute to show obedience and that you feel you've wasted enough time putting in efforts for useless subs. It's a joke and a pretty laughable reason. I've heard of enough pseudo-Dommes who ask for money and then vanish without giving a promised video or RP, or the ones who realize that it can be a very easy cash grab and pretend to be exclusive while contacting a million subs to get money up front, and then release nothing or piss-poor quality content. I don't see why my money should go to a user or liar, and I probably have no reason to trust people more than they trust me. We can just keep it mutually beneficial and respectful without exchanging money or false promises, and if that doesn't work out, we move on.   Happy hunting, all.

November 4, 2024 @ 4:35pm  Hello Everyone,  I understand this profile is a little confusing to some, let me clear things up for you all.I will always be an Domme first, then second I am an Alpha submissive only to Sir Silverback G which is my life partner. I hope this Clears up any confusion. Have a wonderful Morning, Evening, Night.  SG 

It's the down days, with the beating sun and the drawn shades, keeping the outside out and the inside in...the days where the tears finally grab hold and the tissues are everywhere. It's the days where one pm could be 10 am or 730pm and none would know, for i remain alone, always alone. My friends are few and far between. My heart landed on the curb and i keep waiting for someone to pick it up and hand it back, though i know better. It was stolen and now it doesn't fit in my chest anymore. So whenever i breathe the sound is like an empty drum for the beat does not even echo. The hurt is like a neon glow in the dark super ball that just bounces from surface to surface, so i can't quite steady it, or myself. It's still light outside. My watch never made it to my wrist. And luck flew like a hummingbird, out of sight. And the man i love...cannot love me. So i sit and pretend that once upon time i was happy and once upon a time i will be, again.   zamarra/aka eslavegirl 7/14/24

The Meaning of a collar The collar is one of the firsts to come to mind when we think about leather in its simplest functional form. Yet whether a collar is fastened on ones own neck or seen adorned by another, it always evokes a deep response, but what is the cultural meaning behind the collar – and why does it get our hearts racing without fail?The collar has been a key piece in the process – as it easily transcends worlds without losing its radical potential. In fashion, the collar is an enduring symbol of pushing boundaries. It’s been part of the subcultural dress code since the early days of the punk movement. Collars served as a finishing touch to outfits already ridden with safety pins and chains – at times, in line with the community’s resourceful spirit, those were the actual sturdy dog collars from pet shops. Collars were a fitting accessory for self-proclaimed underdogs – and a nod to sexual subversiveness as a part of broader nonconformity. The collar has a deep significance in the BDSM and kink community as the ultimate symbol of power exchange. Worn around the neck, it signifies the submissive role or exploration of submissive desires. It is a foundation for collaring ceremonies (and since recently, self-collaring) which celebrate relationship dynamics and identities, a crucial asset for play, and a fun way to toy with these ideas maybe for a few hours at a party. Getting a collar for yourself or accepting a collar as a gift from someone else can be a sincere gesture of romantic connection – or simply an act of self-love and being open to new types of experiences. When the buckle closes around your neck – that sweet tight pull and release – the collar stops being an and becomes an invitation to explore a different mindset or role, play with the energy it brings you and see where it takes you. Whether combined with clothes or on its own, wearing a collar can be intriguing, arousing, moving, comforting or even thrilling. A perfect collar combines the visual ect of form and functio, with texture, sturdiness, and the quality of materials from which it is crafted. Wearing a collar is an embodied experience rooted in psychology and sensation. Our necks are sensitive and vulnerable, a precious vessel for nerves and arteries, a place that holds erotic tension. A collar is a reminder of human fragility, connection, commitment, and the courage to show up as your authentic self.    

I own & operate a nature science mobile museum.   I need a grunt slave  to help haul tubs for setup and packing up plus help running the booth.  When not doing events, the slave will serve in sexual capacity with strict protocols.  I will torment and torture with TT, CBT, sensory, restraints, chastity, anal play and impact play.  Spankings, cane, paddle and flogger will be regularly done.     I will keep slave out back in the workshop though slave is not going to be kept away from society and kept. The slave will either earn an income working part time or have a montly stipend of retirement or some other form of regular income to help support cost of living expenses.    Age is not an issue as long as over 18 and strong enough to lift tubs and take punishment. No wimpy slaves.  Limits will be respected though pushed.  Experience is preferred though I will train to My likings.    A contract will be signed upon collar being locked on outlining responsibilities and expectations of both the slave and Master.    Are you serious about being owned? Serious about being collared and belonging to someone who will push your limits yet ensure your well being?  I am strict though fair.   I have been an educator and counselor over 40 years.  I am also a Minister.    Taking serious inquires willing to relocate on own expense to be taken, cared for and given the opportunity to be a part of more than just oneself.  I will train and coach in many aspects, more than just a sex toy.     Are you ready to give up what you know and have to become a better individual in mind, body and spirit?            

The picture for the following scene deion next week shows the soles of My shoes and a call bell in My hand.   I have just returned from walking on a very popular board walk along puget sound. The only problem with this wonderful stroll is the filth left by dogs on the boards.    People love to walk their dogs where they can also enjoy the vista of sound and mountains. However, people do not love to clean up after their animals.    Now I am home. As anyone can see I have rang the hand bell to call my slave.    Does the reader consider itself a slave? If so, the above view is what it gets when it answers the bell on its knees as it should. Looking up it sees the soles of my shoes.    Tell Me, slave, how does it feel looking up?    Is it hesitant? 

"50 Shades Of Wanabees" **Will finish writing this and add the conclusion sometime in the near future. Unfortunately, work and life get in the way of passion at times not affording us the opportunity to delve into it full time. That and writing this on a cell phone is a daunting task. Read enjoy, educate, comment. It's all good. I've been involved in this lifestyle for going on 40yrs. It is a very special kind of relationship and bond that takes lots of commitment, EFFECTIVE communication, understanding and most of all....TRUST. This type of life is not for everyone especially those "vanilla relationshippers" who don't understand it or know anything about it other than the stereotype information they heard or read. It is a multi-layer, multi-dimensional universe of its own that is compromised of many of its own ecosystems. It's as vast as the many kinks and fetishes that people can imagine and transform into being on the physical plane. Although we try to categorize the many desires so we can label them and sort them in order to find fellow kinksters. It is a task less job of who done it. No different than labeling colors. To the right we have orange. To the left we have red. But what happens when we have a color that falls in between? It doesn't necessarily look orange or red on of its own. Do we call "rednge" and make it its own category so it sits their all alone? Obviously not! But yet another hybrid is born expanding our array of colors once again. Adding to the illustrious rainbow of a way of life for many. It is no different than Mother nature's evolution of our planet and its inhabitants. Constantly in motion. Growing, changing, EVOLVING. How wonderful. HOWEVER, something almost always comes along to try and hamper the growth. It resonates through the community touching and infecting all that live in it. It betrays us all and infaspects the very things that make it so unique. Trust quickly dissipates as the intrusion spreads like wildfire burning all that fall within its path. Leaving behind scorched emotions, lack of trust or belief. Like that fiery fire is what I call, "50 Shades Of Wannabees". It's compromised of those who watched or read this crossover book or movie of a kinkier version of "Pretty Woman". A rich man who takes over a lower class woman's mind and bends her into his submissive. Suddenly like the herd of Buffalo, that once roamed this nation, a stampede of kinksters charge into our community. There is no understanding that there is SO much more than physical ownership of a sub or slave. It is a psychological game of Stratego that has been played by the partners gaining command of the others headspace. That headspace contains all the emotions, physical desires, dreams, fantasies, psychological manifestations of childhood yearnings, etc. All rolled up into one area waiting to be examined and absorbed by someone who can understand them and nurture them to fruition. A Bach of the composer world who takes them and turns them into beautiful music that all can hear. The manifestation of the hidden minds collective emotional desires and needs now controlling the physical form like the captive they once were. With this weapon in hand the dominant hunter has captured his prey. He cages and controls it by holding its heart tightly against his chest in his protective arms so no harm will come to it. The chase was long. The chase took many paths that one had to avoid straying from and getting lost. So when finally navigating it and finding that pot of gold at the end it is treasured as the greatest possession owned. It's capture was earned and not stolen. I can't help but look at these wannabees as nothing more than and invasive army made up of decisions or narcissistic grandure. Their need to feel powerful and fulfill their cardinal desires of physical pleasure and loneliness taken by force. No understanding of how the lifestyle works because they have no desire to learn it. Whips spinning in the air, shouts of demands and orders barking, physically overpowering of their prey is all they understand. I am a MASTER they proclaim to all as they dangle bait in hopes of luring a potential pacifistic creature. No you are NOT A MASTER, the knowledgeable citizens say. YOU ARE JUST A BULLY! A bully fueled by your narcissistic desires of ownership over another that you expect to force to serve you for your pleasure and your pleasure alone. You and your wants are all that matters and the emotions of the server are forced into exile.

Had my first true taste of BDSM a few days ago.    I am not a person who likes pain, dare I say I avoid it at all costs, but it was My online Mistress “Ms T”, it was her will for it to happen.    The wonderful Ms T had her longest serving sub act out her wishes, as she watched on and directed via Skype text chat   I was flogged with a cat-o’-nine-tails from fully clothed , progressing to completely naked, the deep pressure resonating in my chest felt amazing, as I got more naked and the lashes kept coming I felt searing pain and a wish to stop, my mind refusing to utter the words…    I was here to serve my mistress and I was not going to stop until she gave the order..   As the lashes continued I looked forward to the pause between them, that brief moment when the pain subsided , it was the pains complete opposite, it was not just a pause but peaceful bliss and exquisite relief.   After flogging I was restrained to a bed, my eyes blindfolded and lying on my back completely naked, a sharp Dragon claw with tips like needles prodded and scraped down my skin, manageable I thought , until it reached my genitals, it tugged and pulled at my sensitive flesh, I writhed and tensed in shock as my veins filled with electricity from its action.    My buttocks tender from the flogging prodded and dug at by the claw , my body began to spasm and convulse, I forgot I could say stop at any time , I just knew this was making my Mistress Ms T happy and that was all I wanted.     I wanted to be worthy of being her sub her slave. I wanted to prove to my self I was capable of such.   Ms T’s proxy sucked on my cock as the claws dug and pulled at my flesh, I in no way felt erotic pleasure but here I was with a massive erection the like I’d not had for years.     Ms T enjoys forced Bi encounters and so blindfolded and beaten to my most submissive state, hands bound behind my back I was told to get to my knees and suck..  Her proxy let out the occasional audible mumble of pleasure as Ms T’s gratitude and love for me was re told to me as I still was blindfolded and couldn’t read the chat text .   Left after , kneeling blindfolded, in a state of complete nothingness, I had not thoughts, my mind empty, my body fatigued and occasionally twitching , I felt a peace and tranquillity like nothing I’d ever experienced before in the deepest of meditations or the most soothing of massages.   I think I am beginning to understand…!!!!   I had done it, I had made my Mistress Ms T happy. In a way I didn’t think I could.     Ms T , I may never meet you but I love you for this and for everything you’ve helped me experience..   For all the subs not knowing if Online Mistresses really work in reality,, I tell you now.. Ms T is the only one you need and will be the only one you want. !!! Thank you Ms T   Find her on FetLife MsT2011 or CollarSpace  mst2019

She would probably have bent over the padded bench if he had told her too, but he had lifted her easily and firmly pushed her over it. If asked she would have reached forward and held the legs before he had secured her wrists to them. Likewise she might have spread her feet wide, but there was no choice given at all, and she was helpless. She would not have tied her hair in a ponytail but she was in no position to resist, or to stop him tightening the strap over her lower back that forced so wanton a display of her buttocks. He had bared her nipples by removing her bra with a knife. She was denied the modesty of her skirt when he tucked it up in the waistband. The tie sided panties were soon pressed into her mouth which he had been made it available by attaching her hair to the waist strap, forcing her head back so affording her only a forward view.  She was now displayed, securely bound and completely available. A familiar sound made her wonder if his intention was to use or discipline her.  He had a crop in a Velcro sealed case, it wasn’t often she regretted her music playing however it concealed enough of the sound to make her unsure, was it the crop case opening, or was it his trouser zip?   She involuntarily clenched her buttocks, this served to pucker her anus, almost inviting him to use her there. – she suddenly wondered if could serve to distract him?.. Then wondered again if he actually intended to beat her? Moments prior to her restraint he had demanded her tongue, ‘Good girl ‘he had murmured into her mouth before his hand descended and found her becoming aroused. She heard his step on the wooden floor; her curiosity would soon be resolved.

So, i have been told that if i edit my profile it takes a while for it to come back up so i will add a few things here instead. 1. If you message me and ask for money, you will be blocked and reported.  2. If you message me with "hi" it will not get answered. You are supposed to be an adult, use your words. 3. If you are a married couple, poly or looking for a house maid or an animal...sorry, not interested, please move on. 4. If you do not live in the US, i am sorry, but i will not relocate to another country, i love the one i am in.  5. If you are a submissive and want anything other than friendship, i will not answer you. I am not bi and i am not looking to serve with a sister. I have 5 sisters, i dont want any more lol 6. I will not download multiple chat programs so if i dont have what you have i am sorry (I only have 2) I know, i know, i sound demanding for a sub. ;) Just trying to weed out the fakes and wannabes and those who only want a maid and cook. 

Many folks have a difficult time trying to figure out if they are submissive and so I thought some definitions maybe helpful.  Submissive definition  A submissive:   “one who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another. As a gift” (Urban Dictionary);   “willing to obey someone else” (Merriam Webster).    

In lieu of the entry directly below, spent the first 2 weeks of February this year, in a Hospital bed dying from kidney failure. Thankfully the doctors caught it before it was beyond complete failure and before the need to discuss transplants became a topic. The issue basically meant my kidneys weren't cleaning my blood properly and my blood was effectively flytipping excess body proteins the kidney didn't transfer to the Bladder and Intestines, into the rest of my body, this was clogging up arteries, clinging onto muscles and organs slowly crippling my bodies ability to function. I went into hospital weighing in at 23 stone, and came out at just under 17 stone. Hell of a weight loss regimine, but I don't recommend it, its a potential killer (pun intended) I am now mostly free to pursue what I would like from this lifestyle, however I am still on the mend in some capacity and cannot perform every task I once used to enjoy to the full capacity and this will reflect on what I will agree to submit to. This problem is mostly physcial stuff like housecleaning, but also things like going out dressed in heels, as I get very dizzy sometimes with headaches when I stand for long periods, This is mostly a blood pressure issue, which I am in discuession with my doctor at solving, but in the meantime I need understanding from would be Dominant's I agree to meet, that these sort of things are not high on my list. I am still seeking a Dominant Male or the Elusive Dominant All Male couple, whethr they're married, friends or whatever isn't important. I see myself mostly as a sex slave who wishes to be put into bondage and used eventually with rough face fuckings and rear end action. I can submit to some pain play but nothing excessive, as a diabetic I just don't heal wounds such as welts and lesions on the skin, they take months to recover from and I am just not that kind of pain slut. If you cannot restrict your sadistic needs to sore skin or keeping your slave in uncomfortable bondage situations or furniture, I am unlikely to be what you seek. Any initial sex dates need to be safe anal sex, we can discuss things like bareback if we become a full time relationship, as I see bareback being between 2 people or more, who are only fucking each other, and theres trust in place that they're not sleeping around with anything with a pulse. Ideally I seek a Master or more with a decent sized cock, I am sorry but if you are under 7 inches, you are just not big enough to arouse my sexual interest and you'll be wasting your time.  If you're UK based and you are ok with my medical issues, at least willing to discuss their impact and accept my limitations on what I can and cannot do, lets chat and see if there is a spark.

Tonight Im sitting here typing remembering the past.This used to be my main life.It was not on fetlife but another bdsm site. Hours turned into years as I sat and waited for my first Master. . It was more than online but He kept me online . I was trained to wait. He was a Dragon.There have been other Dragons. They seem to find me or me find them. I rarely drink but I'm drinking and I'm in a mood but Im not drunk. I need to back up and say at least they name themselves Dragon. I have my own ideas of what Dragons really are. Im not being disrespectful. I just need to get things out before I explode. One is hardly ever here online. One does write and I want to write back and say more but I just cant. Im just going through so much stuff. I start therapy tomorrow. Yay * sarcastic tone* a vanilla therapist trying to help me with relationships etc when I know that they will have no fucking idea what bdsm really is.

 alenaslight