So many have asked me what my husband cannot give me.  After 15 years of him being my Dominant, he has decided to switch and become submissive.  No we are NOT looking for a Dominant together, he is looking for his own submissive.  No i am not leaving him.  What I am looking for, well You can message me to find out. Ohh yes my profile says that I am a switch, I am not! The only reason it still says this is because I tried to change my profile and it said it could take up to 3 months. It did the last time I wanted to change it so I decided to leave it alone. Thank you for visiting my profile and have a great day.

I came to the conclusion years ago that most men are on this site because they aren't truely honest with themselves.  So they have been on here long term, 1 year 5 years 10 years and more.  Why ?  Because they get comfortable in lying to themselves and eventually lying to others.  I'm not actually talking about dom men.  I'm more talking about sub/slaves.  If your just looking for weekend kink , just say so.  If your never going to move and your shoes are nailed down to the floor, just  put it in your profile or tell people that. If your never going to move but don't mind meeting someone and let her take control of your life , online, phone and meeting in person sometimes. No problem just say so.    The lies will ever get you anywhere. you might come on here in your 40's and next thing you know your in your 50's and beyond and just fooling yourself.  Chasing something you'll never get. What a waste of time and a life.  Do you think working and having some money means anything when your last breath is at hand ?   I promise you that you will look back and see what an actual waste your life was. you take nothing with you in the end , but still, you hold on to your pathitic life and lies.   It is a free man that breaks away from that thought and becomes what he knows in his heart is the right thing to do . It might sound like a contradition or an irony .... someone free enough to be enslaved by someone.  But in reality  it's about following your heart and mind and breaking away from all the " things " in this world.  I know not everyone will understand what I wrote but hopefully you'll re-read it and ask yourself serious questions.  The answers are in yourself as well. 

  If you demand, expect, or require any of the above or if you have any demands at all, then you cannot be a slave. I suggest you re-think what it is you want. Then you, the submissive seek a nice Dominant who you can share the fantasy that you are a slave with. I am sure that once you agreed on terms, you will have the time of your life!!!!     Now: slaves don't get vacation, 'personal' days or 'time off' for being sick. Well, they can ONLY IF they are granted such by their Owner.   However, they have NO entitlement to such things. As a real slave you will be expected to (and here's the shocking part) actually be a slave. I know - that's just so crazy, huh?       A real slave is expected to be a slave 24/7/365. This is why slavery, real slavery, is not for everyone; or even most people for that matter.   If you are thinking: "Hey, I want to be a slave."   But you do want recognition for your service, you want to be rewarded for your efforts, you want to be treated with 'fairness', you want some variety or flavor of “equality”, respect, compassion and appreciation, then you want something other than real slavery.   What you are probably looking for is to Role-Play the part of a slave in an OTS (Other Than Slave) relationship which is great and you will definitely enjoy it with the right partner.       Similarly:   Ownership is neither a simple nor a small undertaking, beware!   An Owner assumes total responsibility for the health and well being of their slave(s).   - Some Owners love to train their property, others do not.   - Some Owner choose to have a love relation with their slave, others do not.   - Some Owners love to micro manage their property while others do not.   - Some Owners enjoy the acts of bathing, grooming, feeding, clothing, and housing their property while others do not.   No matter which aspects of Ownership you may enjoy, every aspect of a slave is your complete responsibility.   Here is a listing of the bare minimal requirements that an Owner MUST attend to, in order to maintain their slave(s):   A. Housing:   A slave requires a 'dry' living space with protection from the weather, where the temperature will be reasonable to live in.   B. Bathing and Grooming:   For health and sanitary reasons, a slave must be fully cleansed at least once per week. Whether you provide access to a shower or simply run a garden hose, the slave still must be washed, regularly. The dental care and sight of a slave are also very important for obvious reasons.   C. Feeding:   A slave must be fed on a regular basis; to maintain good health in your slave, a balanced diet of nutritional foods and plenty of water must be provided by you for your slave.   D. Physical Health:   Sun, conditioning and training a slave is one important thing, but you will incur substantial medical costs if the general health and welfare of your slave(s) are not consistently kept in mind.   An Owner must acquire more than a cursory, basic knowledge in First Aid if Owner is Sadist.   An Owner must, in fact, be prepared to handle a wide variety of physical maladies and to do proper reading regarding long term consequences of the activities he submits it's slave to.   Owning a slave is difficult, demanding and stressful. As owner, you may forget relaxation, privacy or spontaneity for a long time and be prepared to make sacrifices before your slave will be anything close to your target.  

Using Rune stones in domination  Hello there, probably late to the party but I love to use my submissive as inanimate s and recently have found a great love and connection whilst using him as my rune reading altar. I invite people that also do this or interested in this to start a discussion with me as I'm pretty new to doing it and would love some other views on doing this My Five rune stone reading for myself and my wølf 1:- The Future RuneDAGAZ (D) represents Dawn. It symbolizes Awakening, Certainty, Illumination, Completion, Hope. 2:- The Past RuneMANNAZ (M) represents Humanity. It symbolizes Individuality, Friendship, Society, Cooperation, Help. 3:- The Possible Solution RuneBERKANA (B) represents a Birch Tree. It symbolizes Femininity, Fertility, Healing, Regeneration, Birth. 4:- The Problem or Worry RuneTIWAZ (T) represents the god Tyr. It symbolizes Masculinity, Justice, Leadership, Logic, Battle. 5:- The Future RuneGEBO (G) represents a Gift. It symbolizes Balance, Exchange, Partnership, Generosity, Relationships.

I have a confession. I met an odd Greek guy from this site. I dumped him or he let me down and I did not take his offer to remain friends. First date he was amazing was in shock how real he was. Crashing around mine he was ok in bed but snored and really snored. Had a fantasticallly large cock and I am annoyed I did not tie him up. His cock felt, warm and pulsating and I felt fulfilled and I remember tilting my neck back and relasing hot breathing after every grind. I just recall being in sexual purgatory, being dominant but enjoying anal domination, I think the Switchy side allowed the moment to happen. He was reckless with condoms which is why I felt in the bin with him. But now and again I wish he had now NOT cocked up because I would be probably be typing my odd sexual experimental ecounters with him. I liked him, I really liked him but I was so hurt that he was reckless with protection. Not to mention AFTER sex he mentioned his trip to Africa - I am west indian Carribean and all I kept thinking is have you lost your mind you experiement in a country with a high level of minimal medicla support are you insane.  My mind spun, realising this sexy Greek guy with self- esteem issues parading as a switch on collar space may be a high risk individual who should go to the first GUM he can find. I work in a clinical setting and assist HIV patients so this is a big NO NO. I meet every day people who have trusted the wrong person, or have congential issues so passed on from familly or met people who have fallen on real hard times and the world has honestly chewed them up and spat them out and the whole reckless with condoms hit a large nerve. Now and again I reflect on how I enjoyed the snogging, I enjoyed being sexually open and it drives me a little loopy our chapter lasted 2 encounters. Omg, his tongue in on my clit, his tongue in my mouth, his tonue on my arse hole his tongue on my legs and thighs, his tongue on my nipples, his tongue on my belly button, his tongue on my neck - Fuck me! I am also still pissed he brought Alidi food and demanded I buy him steak the little shit but I honestly did like his good side just not his entitled side. Do people really deserve a second chance. He is probably just messaging other women and finding his way into their accommdation for a free overnight stay he is Greek after all. I actually liked him, annoyed by his snoring.  Honestly his snoring was bad if the Walking Dead actually happens he would have to go for survival, his snoring was that bad.  The Walking dead will hear him a mile away.  Honestlly you would have put a pillow over his face to save yourself from the zombies it was that bad. It annoys me while I feel weak I have this back flash of remembering how his tongue felt all over me and remembering the sounds of his moaning and remembering how silky his hair felt when I pulled on it during a climax. Weird, Weird, weird - maybe I will admit defeat I have lost the plot!

It's baffling why some guys start an email by saying they've read a profile, and immediately make it obvious that they haven't. Or that they have little or no reading comprehension. Do you think we're so stupid we won't notice? You know everybody can tell who has looked at their full profile, right? You can't read all of mine without looking at the full profile, so I KNOW IF YOU HAVEN'T. Not to mention there are things in there placed there specifically to see if it's been read.Do you think there's nothing in there you might need to know? Do you think a dominant just wrote it for fun and it doesn't mean anything? Do you think "getting to know a dominant" might include reading what she writes? Do you think lying about it will make a good impression?If you want to get to know me and maybe serve me some day, the first step is to PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I SAY. Starting with the profile. The second step is to NEVER LIE. I mean, seriously, this is not rocket science, guys. Anybody past ten years old should be able to figure this stuff out.

8/12/22 Football player gets what he wants Football player boy came over for the first time in quite a few months. So I knew his ass was going to be tight, and I wasn't mistaken.When he first arrived I was sitting in my rocking chair wearing only a pair of boxers. I had been playing with myself so not only was I already heard but I had pre-cum oozing down my cock.We've been getting together for quite a number of years, so he doesn't even have to be told, he strips as he walks through the door. As he was stripping there he exchanged a few pleasantries, how have you been, it's been a while, sorry I'm a few minutes late. I just pulled my cock out from my shorts and said, come take care of this.He got down on his knees and took my cock in his hand. He saw the precum dripping from the tip, and licked it off.  Then he immediately latched on to my cock taking it all the way to my balls.    He has an outside job so he's been in the sun a lot. I don't think I ever remember him looking this tan. His hair is cut extremely short this time. His broad shoulders have a new tattoo since I saw him last. The view looking down at him is incredible.I rested my hand on the back of his head feeling his rhythmic bobbing up and down on my cock. He knew exactly what he was doing, I didn't need to guide him in any way. Although a few times I just wanted to hear him choke on my cock, so I applied pressure on the back of his head until I felt my cock head bottom out in the back of his throat.This went on for a few minutes, but I remembered something he told me during his last visit. He wanted to expand his repertoire again. Originally many years ago he had a girlfriend who would peg him. They broke up and he couldn't find another girl to peg him. That's when we met. And at the beginning all I was allowed to do wish of toys up his ass.Years later, many patient years later, he said he wanted to try sucking cock. Months after that he wanted to taste my load. It has been fun watching him change over the years. And now he wants FUCKED by my cock. This is what he told me at the end of our last session quite a few months ago. Today was the day.We went downstairs and he climbed into the sling. I secured his ankles high into the air as he scooted down in the sling to give me plenty of access to his hole. He doesn't like the roughness of my fingers, so I slipped a pair of rubber gloves on, applied some lube and started playing on the outside of his ass. Normally I just dive in with one or two fingers, but today I wanted HIM to WANT IT extra bad. I wanted him to yearn for it.I teased the outside of his hole and I could feel him lunging in the sling by grabbing the chains and trying to push himself onto my finger. But I was just teasing him at this point. I reached up and stroked his cock a few times, and then went back to teasing his hole.Eventually I gave him what he was yearning for at the moment, I slid my finger deep into his ass with one swift movement. My finger landed on his hard prostate. Some days his prostate is kind of soft until I get him sexually excited at which point it gets hard as a rock. Today, it was hard as a rock the moment I touched it. I applied a little pressure and noticed pre-cum ooze out of the end of his cock.With one finger still up his ass massaging his prostate, using the other hand I smeared his pre-cum over his cock head and started stroking it. He threw his head back and looked in the mirror above us on the ceiling of the basement. I was watching his face and his eyes as he intently focused on every movement I made.As expected his ass was tight. Wonderfully tight. But eventually I worked a second finger into his hole. I don't know where he learned to clean his ass out, but he does a better job than anyone I know. He's definitely a pro at cleaning himself out, and that means I can use larger and longer toys.But for now I was just working him over with one and then two fingers. Occasionally sliding a third finger in. I watched as he gazed into the mirror above us and I gave him a bit of a show. I pulled my fingers out and put my index finger as deep as I could. Then I would pull it out and replace it with only my middle finger twisting my hand around as I played with his prostate. Then I pulled my middle finger out and replaced it with my ring finger and little finger at the same time, I spun my hand around again.I pulled my fingers out and replaced them with my index and middle finger, the easy way. Vertically, aligned with his ass crack. But then with a twist of 90°, he was getting my fingers the hard way. But he was doing just fine. He was enjoying it as much as I was.His cock was hard and I continued to play with it. And then I did something I usually don't do. And you would think I was doing it for his benefit, and I want him to think I was doing it for his benefit, but this was just a little treat for myself. I took the head of his cock in my mouth and started twirling my tongue around his piss slit. I glanced up and saw him throw his head back, I think his eyes might have rolled backwards a bit toward his skull.I continued sucking on his cock until I had his entire cock in my mouth. I bobbed up and down a few times and he started to moan incredibly. I know from the past experience that once he orgasms were done for the day, as with most guys. And there was no way I was going to risk that. So I popped my mouth off his cock and continued working on his ass putting a third finger in.He loves CBT so with my fingers still firmly planted inside him, I grabbed a wooden spoon. I started smacking his balls lightly at first but rhythmically

Okayeeeeeeeeee Conducting interviews for live-in.  I don't have time or energy to spend on anything outside of finding the right fit for My home so please, unless you are applying to serve full or part time ASAP, pass Me by.  Let's get down to the nitty gritty... Rolling interviews conducted now and at My time of convenience.  Considerations will be made but I have a short fuse where lack of communication is concerned.  Seeking FLR, TPE 24/7/365 live in.   My search is two fold - for Myself and as an extension, for My mother. Regular service includes preparing meals, maintaining home, and personal care for all.  Full time care attendant for mother.  She is fully functional, simply unable to reason out sequential action and with cognitive impairment for decision making.  She cannot be left alone, loves music and dancing, educated,  a lady (with a fresh mind) and beautiful in her own right.  Specifically, I seek a person who would primarily be responsible for watching over and serving My mother so I may proceed with My own endeavors.  My mother will not be controlling you.  You will belong to Me. Once you make contact, be prepared to discuss your distance and how you intend on getting to Me, your current work requirements, all.  We move to phone interview, inperson interview and trial run.  It IS that simple.

Limits.. No online only, must progress to real time and hopefully 24 7.No pro Doms. Paying money to my Dom or Master for the privilege of being his is ridiculous.No blood, needles, knives, fireplay, brown showers, or pimping out. No STDs, no kneeling.. on account of bad knees, which actually upsets me greatly that i cannot do this. No children or under 18 years old, my own children are Completely off limits.. there is NO grey area on this. i am not pansexual, bisexual, bi curious, or a lesbian.. i have no interest in being sexual with another woman. However, should my master ask this of me, i would try my best to comply.There may be more to add.Interests.. Being restrained, discipline, guidance, micro management.. if possible with my prospective, being spanked. Possibly more to add later.

  Momentarily distracted by his need to spill his bladder, he was now aware of leather cuffs being affixed to each wrist. The metal cuffs had started to chafe. A leather belt was locked to his waist and each wrist in turn was released from the metal restraint and re fastened to the waist belt on each side. More comfortable. He was pushed down to the floor and over on his back. The sensation of cold hard tile and his need for relief was flooding his brain. Deprived of sight and speech his awareness shrank. Leather ankle cuffs were locked on and fastened together as a hobble.   The socks were pulled off and with them, the last vestige of his former self.   Her gloved hands embraced the sides of his hood. Suddenly he could see again. Stunning. She was squatting over his face. Eye piece in hand. Again, her smell. The leather smell. The antiseptic smell of the floor. Sternly she commanded him to be obedient and explained that she would remove the gag on the condition he only speak when spoken to.   Nodding, the mouthpiece came off.   His urgent need was all he could think about. He squirmed in his restraints.   The return of his sight and the Glorious image above him aroused his cock to a shaft of steel. Involuntarily he thrust it up arching his back. Buttocks lifted off the floor.   She regained her standing position posture as erect as his now throbbing cock. She laughed. A low grunting sob gurgled from his lips. She smirked and curled her lips into a snarl. For the first time he took in his surroundings. It was a utility room connecting the garage with the rest of the house.     A shower of sorts with a head on a umbilical hose in one corner for cleaning things. There was a drain in the floor and he realized he was laying on it.  

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

Him: I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you! Me: Then why did you contact me?  Him: I just said. I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you. Me: But you are white. Him: Is that a problem? Me: In the 1950s, it would have been illegal for us to have a relationship.  Him: So? Me: So, a 1950s style relationship between us would involve us not having a relationship. Him: Some people did it, didn't they? Me: Illegally, involving scandal and and the likelihood of violence and likely damage to at least one partner's class status. Him: It could not have been all that bad. Me: Loving vs. Virgina happened one year before I was born. Lynchings are still not unheard of. Him: . . .  Me: Toodles!

I have surrendered to you absolutely,Given myself complete and whole,I have given you my mind and body,But then you also took my soul.You have broken the essence of my being,To shards and pieces spread about the dust,Then molded me into a creation,Solely for your pleasure and for your lust.You have taken everything out of me,You plucked my logic again and again,That when I crave for desecration,I welcome the punishment.You break and make my spirit,When the void you fill is just as muchAs when the words fail me you flail me,That my flesh welcomes your touch.This goes beyond all worship and adoration,When your commands are the breaths I need,And I know I’m not worthy of this servitude,When you drink the tears I bleed.

I sit back in the chair. Make sure he's looking me in the eye, compose myself and begin. “M, as I lay out these things that need to be said there is no need to speak just nod your head.” "You will never have sex with me again, nod your head." He pauses, then nods. "I will never leave you, I have no desire to, I love you, you will always be my primary. I know you are scared but we both need this. Nod your head.” He nods. “I am going to find a man who will be my sexual companion, nod your head." He nods and I notice he starts rocking his hips.  "Stop that rocking immediately." He complies, but I see a level of desperation in his face that hasn't been there in a long time. I continue. "I will be going on dates. I will be staying overnight at other men's homes. You will accept this and be happy for me. Nod your head." He nods his head.  "The man or men I choose to see will know the details of our lifestyle once I trust them. Nod your head." He nods. "Eventually, this man...or men, will be allowed at our home, even while you are here. You will treat my bull with the same respect you treat me. I will only allow men here who I know will respect you. My high dream is for someone that we can both call Daddy. Nod your head." He nods.  "You will continue to remain in chastity. You know how important I feel that it is for you. Though, you will now be allowed one orgasm every other week. We will do it exactly this way every time unless I say otherwise. Palms on the floor, legs straight out, humping your diaper. Nod your head." He nods vigorously and the clip of his pacifier clinks. "Now, M, you may begin humping." He makes three slow long humps. I can feel my underwear soaked between my legs with my thighs and move my hand to my crotch, I can feel the heat coming off my body. "Good boy." His diaper crinkles, it is the sound of my power and I almost can't take it. I feel the outside of my underwear with my finger tips and say, "you will never fuck me again, nod your head." He nods vigorously again and more clinking from his pacifier. Now for the final mind fuck. I want to hear him say it. I want him to acknowledge this out loud as he masturbates the only way I will allow him. "Say it M. Spit out your pacifier and say, 'I'll never fuck you again.'"

I am tired of let people in....  I feell stupid for trusting.  I'm tired of finally letting my walls down, opening up and to someone who has such a special and major important role in my life.. only to be discarded at the slightest change of mood.  People just don't care what it does to a person.  My feelings.. matter.. I am who I say I am.. Some people want to just form a judgment and assumption of me unfairly and to disregard my truth because they find some created idea in their mind to be more legitimate.  So they pick manufactured fiction formed by their imagination... over the facts and truth from the source.. yeah.. that makes a whole lot of sense huh..   I think I need to learn that if someone wants to believe the worst about me, then they were looking for an excuse.  I just want to say these men who message me deep and all acting like they care for me or my well being and like they have my back and talk to me every day and block me over nothing??  Please do not put me through this and play games with me.. Please.  I have been through enough and you have no care for the emotional hell and self loathing and mind fuckery you leave me to stew in..  My mental health matters and there is no need to lead me on and let me drop.  I need to keep putting myself out there to find the right one for me, but the fallout from the disbelief and hurt and confusion.. It makes me feel an absolute fool for believing someone who seemed genuine with a real interest in me..  That's a mind fuck.  My psyche cannot keep taking this kind of unfair and immature mistreatment.     Please... I just want someone real, for once.  Not put on or an act or manipulation.  Just be real.  

As a Dominant CD Gurl I look for a Submissive CD who can be controlled and influenced and is available on a regular schedule. The submissive CD will wear the types of feminine clothes she is told to wear. The types of fabrics and texture of fabrics her Dominant is turned on with. The pastel colors and cute prints on the girlie girl fem clothes. The submissive will fill her CD closet with the clothes her Dominant likes to see her wearing. The submissive will keep her body shaved and sexy smooth. She will have spending money to go shopping on command by her Dominant. She will be Bi-Sexual or Gay. She will enjoy getting spanked. She will not be a slave but will serve and service her Dominant on a regular schedule. So far the Vanilla Lives seem to get in the way for finding this submissive CD Gurl?

100% Master 100% Sadist  100% Daddy 100% Degrader  94% Rigger  93% Dominant  92% Experimentalist  84% Primal (Hunter)  79% Brat tamer  71% Owner  56% Switch  38% Non-monogamist  36% Voyeur  33% Submissive  5% Exhibitionist  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat  0% Degradee  0% Boy/Girl  0% Masochist  0% Pet  0% Primal (Prey)  0% Rope bunny  0% Slave  0% Vanilla   

Here is the more detailed version of my "about me": It took me a while to settle in on using the name “breastfeedingboy”.  I went through several other possibilities first.  But I’ll explain that a bit. First ... you could say I’m very “mouthy”.  Because that’s what I do.  I use my mouth.  But more in that in a bit.  LOL I am in my 40s, live in the southeastern part of Pennsylvania.  I’m not married and I have no kids.  I am a straight guy with a steady job, a love for soup and steak and football. Now ... I have a strong jaw and am “mouthy” because I enjoy ... Breastfeeding, whether dry or otherwise.  If breastfeeding is something you crave having done to you, I am your titty boy.  Not just for a few minutes, but however long you desire.  Make me nurse you for hours.  I will keep up. Cunnilingus (eating p***y, to put it vulgarly).  From hood to perineum and every little place in between, I will give my tongue a workout so that you are made to skyrocket to the zenith.  If you are soppy wet, I will lick you dry.  If you are dry, I will lick you wet.  And I don’t stop until you tell me to.  If you wrap your legs around my ears or try to wiggle away, I stay with you and keep lapping until you verbally tell me to stop. Toe sucking with foot massages.  I’m still learning about this one but know that the entire foot needs pleasured while the toes are washed clean.  I will keep researching it and learning more about it.  But you could have the stresses of your day rubbed and sucked right out of your body through your feet and toes, all while you lean back and enjoy a glass of your favorite wine. Kissing (on the mouth), with or without the tongue.  ‘A woman can tell a lot about a guy, just based on the way he kisses.’ This may be a cliché statement, but it still has a great deal of truth to it.  If you can’t convey anything she likes through a kiss, what difference will the rest make? I am very big on hugs and cuddling. Now ... about the profile name. I thought about ‘oralslave’, but I’m not a slave. And using the word oral just sounded ugly. I thought about ‘mouthyboy’ but I felt that made me sound like a bratty smartass.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I’m an obedient soul. I thought about “licknsuck” but then I immediately stopped considering that one as I wanted my name to show some class and some dignity. ‘breastfeedingboy’ was the goldilocks choice.   It sounded just right.    I’m not a slave and not interested in being one.  I would say I am a pleaser, which is why I selected submissive for my profile. I am most interested in making the female body feel goooood, slowly and in several different places on the body.  I will be looking for a woman who enjoys the company of someone with “mouthy” benefits. Other things I enjoy: Opening the door for a lady Pushing in the chair for a lady Flea Markets State Parks Action/Adventure Movies Suspense/Thriller Movies   I’m not offering a service.  And I’m also not looking to buy a service from anyone.  I am simply a submissive type guy who loves to use his mouth.  And I would love to meet the woman who would love to control my mouth in whatever way she wanted. So if you are interested in anything you just read on this profile, please contact me and let’s chat. ------------------------------   Not to come off as being rude but just so I’m not misleading anyone, I understand that sucking cock is also an oral “mouthy” thing to do.  But I am straight and I have no interest at all in doing that.  So you don’t need to contact me and remind me that sucking cock is oral.  I am aware that it is oral. There is absolutely no chance you will ever get me to do that.

Woo-hoo approved.  I kept it fairly safe cause I've heard of so many others having issues. As stated I was around when it was collarme.  Probably 2005 until it went poof.  So thrilled to see this new site. I did in fact meet quite a few men from that site over the years.  Some were one offs.  Some were play partners for a while.  Some we just weren't as compatible in person.   I do my best to avoid the latter issue by getting to know someone enough prior to meeting.  Ensuring our wants and needs are both going to be met and that expectations are realistic.  If someone cannot engage my mind prior to meeting I already know that won't happen magically just because we do meet.   I am genuinely a kind person.  I can come across bitchy because of my writing style and bluntness.  I also do not have much patience for those who will not read and are here due to boredom or for me to entertain them via writing and pics.  I am looking for real time meets.  That is all. I do lean submissive.  I love being used.  I am not an idiot or a brainless child.  I am a slut first who also happens to be submissive. If "training" is in your repertoire move on.  That's a game I'm not into.  I'm also not into submissive men or switches.   I am simply not attracted to them. I want people to reach out but please be interested in real time and local.  If men would respect what women want I think both our experiences on this site would be so much better.   I will post more and get into the good stuff.  Take care for now!

  The silken ropes, a web both soft and tight, Secure your limbs in the fading light. You offer trust, a fragile, sacred thing, Awaiting the pleasure your queen will bring.   Her eyes hold fire, her smile is sharp and keen, The most intoxicating sight you've seen. She moves with purpose, confident and slow, And from a drawer, her chosen tools will grow.   The harness waits, of polished midnight black, And as she lifts it, there is no turning back. The leather sings a low and throaty sound, As she first wraps the straps securely 'round.   A deeper creak as she pulls the harness tight, A groan of leather, bending to her might. The sharp-edged click of buckle meeting tongue, The final sound before your song is sung.   It strains against her hips, a second skin, A promise of the place you've never been. The scent of leather fills the charged-up air, A musky perfume, potent and beyond compare.   She turns to you, her shadow tall and vast, This moment of surrender built to last. The silicone now cool against your heat, A strange and shocking, yet delicious, treat.   Your breath catches in a sharp, surprised gasp, As past your final, guarded line she'll pass. A world of pleasure, sharp and brand new, Unfurls inside, completely owned by you.   And in the creak of leather, in her sigh, You learn to fly, and learn to fall, and die To who you were, reborn in this new role, The willing vessel for her hungry soul.

Since Master James passed away things have been a little different between Mistress Tabitha and I. More like girlfriends in mourning than Mistress and slave. I had to ask if I could resume wearing my collar as it had been removed for the funeral services.Today started out as a surprise for me. Mistress snapped my leash on and led me to the basement and tied my in a standing spread eagle an picked up the buggy whip.She kissed my cheek and said youve done nothing wrong but I need this.She started to whip me and she started crying. She whipped harder and harder. I was crying and writhing in pain and she beat me for almost 20 minutes. Breasts, back, bottom and the inside of my thighs. It was the most severe whipping I have ever had. Almost no delay between strokes, just a storm of constant pain.She sat and watched me as I tried to settle down. Finally she said I love you, it will be ok. I started crying again. I was happy and felt a huge amount of relief.Things are getting back to normal.Master James would be pleased.

I’m real, single, and ready to meet. You should be too. Now, don’t get me wrong. Lots of people contact me about my profile and say job well done, I/we are like minded, BUT blah blah blah (I am taken, I am too old/young, I am too far, etc.). They respect the realities of the universe that have made us like minded, but not a match. I can respect that. I am certainly grateful for friends on this journey. This Journal entry is not addressing or discouraging friends. This is about those who express legitimate interest… So, I think my profile makes it clear… I am looking to date, I am looking to meet someone. I didn’t think I had to clarify after an in-depth profile such as the wone I wrote that I am not interested in you if you are married, living with someone, have a stead significant other, etc. Now, if you are “seeing” other people that is fine. Those other people should not be living in your house, sharing your bank account, doing your grocery shopping (unless it is for a date or something), paying for the renewal of the tags on your car, etc… “Seeing” someone means you are taking them to dinner, and possible having a good time after once in a while. “Seeing” someone means that person KNOWS you are “seeing” other people! If I call or text when you are with them, there is no need to hide your phone. I mean, I don’t expect you to respond or answer, you are spending time with someone else, that is fine, we aren’t an item, but I have enough self esteem I will not be the other woman, and I will not be hidden. If you will cheat on your wife, girlfriend, etc… You will eventually cheat on me too, and thus I am not interested in you. I am interested in loyalty, honesty, and devotion. How can one submit to someone who is offering anything less? Obviously, I don’t expect it day one. I will probably see other people for a time too. A bond must be built and that takes time. That being said… a bond isn’t built in messages on the web miles apart from someone I have never met in person. We might send messages a lot after meeting because you travel or something, but meeting in person is crucial to me. The internet is far too anonymous and there are far too many players out there. Heck, I had a guy wait until our third in person date once to finally admit he was married! It was because he couldn’t maintain the in person dating, he finally had to come clean though. He would have spoken with me for a year online had I let it continue that route… So, I am not a huge electron communication person. I also hate phones. I will even schedule my doctor’s appointments via the web if I can. Phones are used to call if I am lost getting where we planned to meet, or if I am running late and need to text to let you know. I don’t send kinky or risqué picture via the web or phone. I don’t use snapchat… where all communication disappears before your wife can see it. We send a few emails, seem to be hitting it off, then why should we share everything in more emails? What will we talk about when we get together? Continuing to chat online is going to leave me awkward and silent with nothing left to talk about in person. Left get some coffee, have dinner, see a movie. Let’s get out of the house! Yes, I know I say I raid (game) 5 nights a week… Only two of those nights are nights I feel I really can’t skip right now, and raid doesn’t start until 8:30 at night, and those are nights in the middle of the week… so if you really want to be drinking coffee that late at night, in the middle of the week, I will see what I can to lol. If one more guy tells me, well, I have a significant other, but the relationship is dead, has been for some time, but it is complicated… and in the same breath, tells me he wants to be my Dom, and manage my world… Get your house in order before you enter mine which is already in order. I am worn out on chatting with guys who seem amazing, lead me on, but are just using me as their side joy because they are unhappy in a relationship, they have no intention of leaving. Again, if you would hurt her by chatting with me… what are you going to do to me one day? Are there any good ones left at my age? Should I just give up the search? Guys… fish or cut bait. Show me you aren’t married lol. Show me you aren’t running around on your girlfriends. Show me it is worth the time and effort to continue investing myself in some of these conversations that start to feel sketchy… Pick a coffee house and tell me when we are going!

  More Male Energy  I've come to realize that all of women in my inner circle are tomboys.  It's not like I'm attracted to them exclusively.  I just seem to like athletic women.  Take my Romanian girlfriend for example.  She's definitely the head of the household in her relationship.  She makes all of the money and makes all of the major decisions.  In fact, she's been with the same guy for years and they're not married.  She likes the idea that she could split at any time.   My other girlfriend is very much a tomboy.  Rather than doing girly things she's much more at home working on a car or building a deck.  She also likes being nude and playing pickleball.  We get along because she's a bikini girl like me.  We spend lots of time together sunbathing and talking.  She loved the swinger lifestyle.   I have a gay girlfriend who's been with the same girl for a long time.  We don't spend much time together as I'd like because my wife is very jealous of her.  But we have a lot in common and I know she's attracted to me.  Her significant other is butch looking.  She runs her own business and is very smart.  The last thing in these girls mind is a man! And then there's my submissive wife.  She spends most of her time thinking about how to please me.  To the outside world she's this dynamic ball of energy whose ready to pitch in for the fight.  At home, she wants to do everything I want to do.  She can turn that male energy on and off like a switch.   We both know who is in charge here.    

  I'm the girl you've been thinking aboutThe one thing you can't live withoutYeah, I'm the girl you've been waiting forI'll have you down on your kneesI'll have you begging for moreYou probably thought I wouldn't get this farYou thought I'd end up in the back of a carYou probably thought that I'd never escapeI'd be a rat in a cage, I'd be a slave to this placeYou don't know how hard I fought to surviveWaking up alone when I was left to dieYou don't know about this life I've livedAll these roads I've walkedAll these tears I've bled So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for I'm the one that you need and fearNow that you're hooked, it's all becoming clearThat all your judgments that you placed on meWas a reflection of discoverySo maybe next time when you cast your stonesFrom the shadows of the dark unknownYou will crawl up from your hiding placeTake a look in the mirrorSee the truth in your face So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for Oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me, you want me, you need me! I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for