I have found a fuck buddy. Met face to face, seems nice enough and actually single. Was direct on the phone that I want to use him for sex. I have started recleaning and reorgnisnig the flat so definately preparing for company. stocked up the wine rack, beers in the fridge, heaps of meat and fish in the freezer. Bought silk PJ and silk underwear - not into the whole leather crap. Buying rope and going to practice hog-tying him for my own pleasure. Etsy have some really cute strap-ons, girly ones with pretty patterns. Candle play wax. Should write a list of things I want to practice and experiement. TBC (to be continued).   C

FYI Assisted Edit: There's a lot of big talk online. A lot of men speak confidently about wanting a strong, dominant woman, a Female-Led Relationship, or deep power exchange dynamics. But when it comes time to invest real time, energy, and intention, many seem to need to feel that dominance first from behind a screen before they're willing to step forward. I often wonder if that's part of my lack of success. It's difficult to build something meaningful when people are seeking an immediate experience or fantasy instead of taking the time to get to know the woman behind the words. I think so much of it depends on perspective and the internal workings of a person. Not everyone has developed the capacity to appropriately respect someone's position, authority, or way of leading—especially when that leadership comes from a woman. Some people are intrigued by dominance in theory but become uncomfortable when they're faced with the reality of a woman who knows herself, has standards, and expaspects mutual respect. Real connection requires emotional maturity, curiosity, and the ability to honor another person's role without feeling threatened by it. That kind of understanding is much rarer than the big talk would have us believe.

As a Dominant CD Gurl I look for a Submissive CD who can be controlled and influenced and is available on a regular schedule. The submissive CD will wear the types of feminine clothes she is told to wear. The types of fabrics and texture of fabrics her Dominant is turned on with. The pastel colors and cute prints on the girlie girl fem clothes. The submissive will fill her CD closet with the clothes her Dominant likes to see her wearing. The submissive will keep her body shaved and sexy smooth. She will have spending money to go shopping on command by her Dominant. She will be Bi-Sexual or Gay. She will enjoy getting spanked. She will not be a slave but will serve and service her Dominant on a regular schedule. So far the Vanilla Lives seem to get in the way for finding this submissive CD Gurl?

The “Honest” secret to a truly happy life I came to this epitome recently which felt as if I found a jigsaw piece that I didn’t even know I had loss. I have always known that I do not think the same as most people but never thought about why. As a young kid I was exposed to motivational speakers and realized that the affirmations, meditation and even the music I listened to affected my mood. I grew up confident in my abilities and became a natural leader but never questioned why. I watched an interview where the topic of honesty and lying came up. The interview prompted me to research the physical and mental effects of lying and I was surprised. What resulted caused me to self-evaluate my some of my deepest personality traits. I felt as if I had been bumping into things in a dark room my whole life without even knowing it and a light was turned on. Nothing in my life is any different today but I can now clearly see how being completely honest has had a major impact in my life. It has affected me physically, mentally in amazing ways that I had not considered until now. When I was successful at something I took credit and if I failed, I accepted the responsibility. There were no participation trophies, if I screwed up I learned to accept the consequences. As a result, I develop strong mental and social connections with those close to me because people inherently understood that I had integrity and they could trust me. While still in high school I recognized that most of my peers were interested in sex but few knew anything about it. I was experienced which high school girls found very attractive so I took advantage of it. As an athlete I used affirmations that I was going to be successful it was uplifting and positive. My success with girls gave me confidence and it became self-fulfilling the more experience I gained the more they were interested in me. Self-deception shapes our reality, influencing choices and beliefs both negatively and positively. Many types of ‘lying’ also involve self-deception, in Aesop's fable "The Fox and the Grapes". The fox in the end, gives up and walks away, saying the grapes weren't that good anyway. The fox demonstrates how self-deception can be useful for avoiding the discomfort of unmet desires. When I was not successful with a girl, I would chalk it up to it was her loss not mine. It was because of that attitude that I never let failure slow me down. I have shared a story many times that, I honestly thought everyone was having sex when I was in high school because I was. Several years after high school I met a friend and we talked about the girls we dated. I was amazed that he never had sex with any of them, he was a virgin until he was in college. I screwed every girl I dated, if fact I flat out told them if I was going to go out and spend money on them, I would require at least a blow job. A few were offended but most were intrigued some even enough to pay for the date. That story always meant something to me because all of my guy friends were talking about getting laid but come to find out they were all full of shit. It has proven to reinforce my confidence and success with women. It turns out that studies have shown, those who believe lying will give them monetary or social recognition are more likely to continue being dishonest. Those who tend to be insecure or have an anxious, avoidant or attachment issues are more likely to be dishonest to avoid being criticized, rejected. Lying affects self-esteem, emotions and can lead to psychological consequences. Dishonesty puts the brain in a state of heightened alert, and this stress increases with the magnitude of the lie. There are very real symptoms of anxiety like increased respiratory and heart rates, sweating, dry mouth. That is how a lie detector works it measures your anxiety but there is a reason it does not work on everyone and I will get to that. The gut-brain axis refers to the two-way communication between the two systems, and explains why people describe feeling butterflies in their stomach under extreme stress. Research has shown the act of lying stimulates the neocortex, limbic system the temporal lobe and other areas of the brain. When we deceive someone the Amygdala, the part of the brain that regulates emotion, is activated, and we tend to feel shame or guilt. Brain imaging experiments have shown the limbic system in a dishonest brain lighting up like a fireworks display. Unfortunately, they also show that the brain can adapt to dishonest behavior. Studies have found that habitual lying can desensitize our amygdala and may even encourage people to tell bigger lies to get the same rush in the future. Those that lie all the time about little things tend to pass a lie detector because their body does not respond normally. A 2002 study performed found that 60 percent of people lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation, telling an average of two to three lies. A 2010 study have shown that the average American tells one to two lies a day. Many people find deception essential for survival and social interaction to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. I will do my best to avoid confrontations and avoid topics where I anticipate difficulties but I will not lie to protect feelings or keep someone’s secret. I have always told people, do not lie to protect me because I will tell the truth no matter the consequences and you will get burned. At least to me being honest about everything is not a moral choice, I just find it a lot less stressful. If you have nothing to hide, there is nothing be worry about. If you fuck something up own it and get past it. The facts prove that I am right, if you are in a small group you have to keep track of what you told each person so not to create a confusion. A liar has to steer conversations to avoid tripping over lies which will create the need for more lies or blend, bend lies to make the fit. I am sure that some enjoy the mental gymnastics and get a rush out of deceiving people and they become pathological liars. For most, it just creates anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and all kinds of other stresses. I take the time each day to appreciate what I have achieved. I try to meditate, say affirmations, practice yoga in order to center myself. Life is good…. I have always known I look at life different than most people but never questioned why. I now have a better understanding why a lot of women I correspond with eventually ghost me. My actual life is their fantasy world and they either assume that I am lying. When it becomes clear that I am serious it can scare the shit out of them. I have found that when faced with everything they say they want, their reality kicks them in the ass. They have family obligations, children, career or other considerations that will prevent them from leaving the world they know. In the end they are just looking for a masturbation partner. There a few adventurous enough, that when provided an opportunity to recreate their life, step out of their comfort zone and make the changes necessary to make their fantasies come true. Choosing to live your life before it is too late can be scary. Imagine your life six months from now not having to worry about going to work, paying rent or other bills and everything you need like food, clothing, shelter is provided. The perfect 1950’s homemaker that spends her time taking care of the Master of the home. I have been active in the kink community for my entire life and can make fantasies come true. I won a successful business, multiple vehicles, my home, a bar that hosts monthly BDSM lifestyle events and have organized the Key West kink community for over ten years. I now realize that when I share my reality, the truth about what I have accomplished and what I have to offer it sounds like a lie. Nothing in my life is any different today and I do not know what I am going to do with, this new found understanding of what makes me who I am. I guess the funniest thing is, when I am not successful with a potential slave it is truly her loss not mine. If anyone who knows me wants to comment on what I have written, please feel free. I would appreciate any feedback.  

Insatiable A work of non-fiction "How many was that?"It's a common question I ask her, while she lies there panting. Her mascara is running from her watering eyes, as she looks down her naked body at me and tries to think. Her mind, normally sharp as a steel trap, full of important information, years of schooling, and an intelligence that accentuates her sophistication, is mush. She blissfully struggles to form words into coherent sentences. "Twelve or thirteen?" She asks. We had only just begun, and I hadn't even pulled the wand out yet."Are you asking or telling me," I inquire and remind her it's her job to keep track of her orgasms. "But Sir, it's hard when they roll one into the next," she says quietly.I smile.I know she can't keep track of them when things start rolling, and the waves crash one after the next. "We'll just have to keep practicing," I say with a grin.We take a break and enjoy the meal I cooked. I enjoy cooking. Perhaps its the mastery over something so many can only do passingly, that fills me with such satisfaction. It seems to be a pattern in my life. Mastery. Control. Domination. Winning. All similar, yet different.After dinner we play chess. She's a beginner and eager to play. I smile once more. Her eagerness and joy just to play is refreshing. We play two games and I'm never in any danger of losing either one. I make quick work of both games, thinking deeply on how to most effectively secure the win as to not prolong things unnecessarily - I only inflict pain that is desired. And frankly, she deserves my best, she's been a good girl all day.As we put the pieces away, she asks if we can play some more. As mentioned, she has been a good girl all day, so I tell her of course.She has a burning need to be restrained and spanked. I build her anticipation with teasing kisses and deliberately take my time applying the cuffs to her wrists and ankles. I get her into position on the bed and attach the spreader bar to the ankle cuffs, and connect the wrist restraints behind her back.Her beautiful ass now high in the air, her blindfolded head resting on the soft blanketed surface of the bed, I begin administering what she desperately wants and needs.The orgasms begin anew when I use the wand on her clit. Sometimes they crash while my fingers apply pressure to her G-spot, sometimes while I paddle her ass. Unable to close her legs, or reach down to push the wand away, she accepts the orgasms as they well up inside her. Each forced orgasm melts her brain a little more.She's responsive on a primal level - coos and grunts - and has stopped making coherent sounds like words. Her body, mostly limp, is exhausted as it stiffens with her latest orgasm and then relaxes.I ask if she is ready to finish, and she nods slowly. The wand is put away and she counts her final 10 swats, thanking me and asking for another after each.When it's over, we cuddle. I'm still fully clothed and quite content. I tell her what a good girl she was, and how proud of her I am. She thanks me and nuzzles her sweaty form into my embrace.I smile and contemplate.Is she insatiable? She will want more again soon. Thoughts and memories of what I do to her, and how much she desperately craves it, invade her mind and linger while we are apart.Am I insatiable? The sights and sounds of her orgasms are some of my favorite things. I find that want her to experience longer and more intense releases, and for her to know it was at my hands.Perhaps, the truth is we're both insatiable.

As promised, here is a copy of your BDSMTest result with ID uZkZThzx100% Degradee100% Rope bunny100% Submissive99% Voyeur93% Exhibitionist92% Pet92% Slave85% Masochist80% Experimentalist70% Primal (Prey)59% Non-monogamist30% Vanilla9% Brat4% Primal (Hunter)0% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger0% Ageplayer0% Brat tamer0% Degrader0% Dominant0% Little0% Master/Mistress0% Owner0% Sadist0% SwitchYou can also view it online at https://bdsmtest.org/r/uZkZThzx?lang=EN

Things have changed yet AGAIN! My father has declined to the point , that he is afraid to move  in with me.  I structured my whole life around this. Closed my business, left my condo, friends, clients, swing dance community, and support network, plus my Sir.   I didn't pick this place for job opportunities,  I was going to care for my father until the end.  He backed out of coming twice and then let it slip that they, my niece, her failing husband and my father were moving 15 hours away!  I may never see him again!   My world has turned upside down.   Now I'm scrambling to get reciprocity for my license, sending out reaumes, and praying to secure employment. Starting over yet again. The one good thing out of this, is the bathroom in the cottage, is completely renovated.  It is stunning , just gorgeous! Porcelain tiled shower , elegant grab bars, not clinical looking at all, all metal shower fixtures, top quality, new toilet, new sink, beautiful oval mirror and lights.  When renovating, when the wall was stripped down, we even found a window!  I prepped the bedroom, learned to skim coat, scraped  sanded, and primed it. I found gorgeous furniture for the parlor, a large couch, chair and a half and a darling tiny gingham print wing chair. A gas operated cast iron stove  stove is in place and hooked up. Now I need to finish the kitchen.  I stripped the wall paper boarders, several of them. Then came across a metal seam! Uuuugh!  Put one layer of skim coating and need to sand that down. Another one or two more coats , then I sand and paint.   At this point I haven't decided whether I'll do my esthetic business or a small daycare out of the cottage.  Either way, I need a part time job before I decide, and complete it. I landscaped the front of it, and it looks darling.   The covered screenedin front porch has two Amish gliders. I saw my dad in those, rocking outside , safe and comfortable. Siiiiigh. Anyhoo, I need to push forward, live in the now for a bit.   My Sir has been out , and his next time is on my birthday. Hopefully all will go smoothly this time. Last time work took two of our days together 💩💩. Miss him being around the corner. I can't believe it's been over two years!    

Goddess' appetite is insatiable.  No matter the number of slaves Goddess owns She always wants more. Those who wish to experience My Glory here should approach and find themselves fulfilled in worshipping Me. Until then, Goddess shares Her Dreams. Fifty new girls, all beautiful and complete, were collected for a ritual.  All to begin their life in eternity as Goddess' slaves.  The ritual a conpetiton.  Goddess sits upon Her Throne, radiant.  In purple leather boots with straps and buckles and heels, purple leather calf length dress worn black stitching, animating venomous creatures that are My pets.  And a black corset highlighting My FigUte. The initiates were given little guidance.  Do not wear leather.  Do not wear black or purple, except if in rainbow.  Do not wear boots.  Otherwise dress in a way that reflaspects your submissiveness and in a way to please Me, which are quite varied.  Each initiate approaches on her own, first crawling, head low and unable to see Me.  Then when told to stand, to be inspected.  Ogled.  Desired.  to walk slowly to My Boot and show devotion with a heartfelt prayer of thanks.  And then to be settled on My Lap, to make out for 90 seconds.  Such joy for the initiates to be used. each is graded on their drEd's, approach, prayer, and kiss.  A lesser goddess would surrender to lust and orgasm after four or five sessions.  For Goddess it is but foreplay.  Building My Inevitable and Insurmoutable Love.  All fifty are broughy, kneeling, relaxed.  Hopeful to be the one chosen to warm My Bed.  My wife on a leash at My side.  No trace of jealousy.  Joyful that I take joy in cucking her in adding lovers.  she sets the example for all to follow. My Boots echo across the stone floor as I walk amongst you.  All heads bowed.  A few I touch.  On the neck.  Or hair.  or breast.  Since you are Mine, Intouch asI wish.  And you touch Me, even see My delicate painted toes, only when I allow.  It oleassMe how many quiver as My fingers trace patterns of joy on your bodies. inneach hand a marble is placed.  Unseen.  then as I sit on My Throne yet again, palms are open.  44 black marbles.  One pinis  four red.  One purple. i call the girl with the purple one to My Side and affix a purple leather collar, diamonds spelling out beauty, on her neck.  She is the one chosen.  No one is disappointed.  All pleased their sister gets to bring Me sexual pleasure. but Goddess is greedy. one girl is never enough.  My wife places red collars on four necks.  Gives each a kiss.  They too will come to MyBed.  But first, they will take 11 girls each and lock in black steel.  Confined for the night.  Able on to hear My Pleasure from the next room.  Each are kissedso they learn what others have done to please Me so that they might improve.  They are told nothing about whether they can oleasure themselves, though their hands are bound, during the night, except that the Will report 0,1, or more than 1.  The girl in pink is told to monitor their safety during the night. She had the lowest score, and so has the most menial tasks.  But a task of joy in service to Me none the less. whole the girls with black were being confined, Goddess took the chosen to her bed, and went down on her.  For Goddess loves the thrill of discovering your body.  Making it sing for Me. When the other four come, the room is alive with passion.  All must fill Mine until I am spent. Five new lovers.  In the morning a tangle of limbs.  Exhausted.  Content.  Then shown by My wife to their new room they will share, sisters.  A final step for the other forty five.  Each black collared slave girl is given a soft kiss, told their new role as maid or chauffeur.  Each is asked for their number, 0, 1, 1+.  Each answer is stored and welcomed.  A tool to help Me shape and mold.  Then the pink collared slave is fucked in front of them all, to show that even she has value, sexuality.  There is no chastity here. it matters not to Me whether you ire to be a cherished lover, wearing a purple collar, an occasional bed made, wearing red, a servant wearing black, or a caretaker of slaves wearing pink.  All have value to Me.  All are beautiful to Me. lexi and demon will wear purple for sure.  Others have earned red.  Some have chosen black, which pleases Me. Worshup.  Be the best you can be.  Shower Me and lavish Me woth attention. Confess to Me your greatest desires and fears and hopes and dreams and let Me share them with you.  Give Me your sexuality to play with, holding and releasing at My Will.  Find your color in My Realm.  ire to the heights that you wish for.  There is no shame on wanting any of the colors.  For you are all beautiful  There is one more.  Gold.  Goddess will in time have more than one wife.  I cannot wait to give out the second, though it may not be in this mortal realm.

I had a conversation with a friend.  He reminded Me how powerfully dominant I am.  Also that most boys cannot handle what I offer.  i asked him who he thought would be right for Me.  I was amazed he captured him purrfectly.  I am looking for someone at least 50 and up, athletic, handsome, intelligent, needs someone like Me.  He will have his life together and can give us a happy life.  All he needs is Me, after all I am a rare find.  My Friends description is below: I dont see you interested in someone thats a wimp You want an Alpha to give himself to you, and do so completely He will only do that with YOU, not anyone elseYou want him to freely hand over his mind, orgasms, and serve your EVERY whimIn public he will simply appear to be the most doting mate on the planet, bit mentally he will be completely enslaved to you. You both love it this way and wouldnt want it any other way

In correspondence with a gent, I was inspired to write this.  I am posting it here because it will help you understand me. Q1 - Are you looking for a Unicorn?  Since it has only been a few months since my beloved hubby died, I am NOT seeking My Unicorn at this time.  Instead, I seek D/s friends and experiences so that I can enjoy My Dominance.   Q2 - What do you like to do or have done to you? I'm not going to list specific sexual activities here.  You can read my preferred activities in my profile.  I put much care into what I have selected there. I will, however, tell you about Me and My sexuality.  I enjoy connected conversation, a gents' scent as we hug and that tingle in My loins as he kisses My hand.  I enjoy the angst on his face when I direct him to lift My hair while I put on My jacket.  An then, I revel in the public intimacy as he reaches into the warmth at the nape of My neck and lifts My hair. I'm very oral and tactile.  I love kissing, massage and foot worship.  I love to be touched and tasted.  Yes, he shall tend Me.  But more, he shall adore Me.  I am possessive of My boys' genitals and ass.  CFNM seems a natural way of being and reinforcing status.  I am private.  My gent and I understand the quality of our time together.  But, it's nobody else's business. LadyD.

Where do pirates get their hooks? A second hand store.    Thank you for taking the time to read my profile. I’m looking for someone who naturally has a happy personality and only wants to make others around them happy also. She needs to be drug and tobacco free with only an occasional drink.  What do you call cheese that’s not yours?  Nacho cheese.    I would like to find that type of feeling like when we were in high school and we have that super crush on each other. I do everything to avoid conflict. I don’t argue or fight, if you want a masochist I’m not for you. Trust and respectful communication are important. I am not a social bug so my friend circle is small.  I have 2 kittens but love most pets. I’m not looking for perfection I’m looking for happiness and someone who has the suction of a shop vac. 

a bolder post, a bolder call to the sacred sexuality warriors of light of both genders. hold the mother fucking line. if you dare       as this awareness came to me i knew it wasn't something personal and needed to be shared. but i had a hesitation. what i share is already hard to understand...and this one can make even the most aligned buckle....but then i breathed and said i'm a splenic projector thats a juxtaposition with a cross of assimilation. if i am NOT talking about things that will be rejected by 99.9% of people i'm NOT doing my job. and i breathe and take a deep dive into the waters. we rose from the filth. we rose to the highest of heights. we've seen things that will make most want to end it all and yet here we are. we touch the heights of pleasure beyond what mere mortals understand. those risk takers those truth sayers. those people who play on the edge that have people praying for them night and day. and yet we know there is truth in those edges we consciously touch potentially getting burned. even little girls like me, have a vicious primal gross and disgusting streak in us. it's the dark empty void. for us girlies of all gender identities it's the dark goddess and in the men it's the dark god. but there's a deeper layer.....a lot of us are stuck in that fleeting, passionate, tempered vibe..and playing higher, rougher, deeper, stronger, more intense...that can get you stuck in the sauce real fast. the sauce of the 3d world of tradition and structure and organization that keeps you small. there's a higher angelic fiery demon class out there......beyond the constraints of passionate love. we're here to master a spiritual, esoteric, cosmic, and divine sense of sexuality and love. and hold it...hold it for dear life as the rest of the earth is stuck in this not BAD..but denser, complicated, more painful and stagnant vibe of love and sexuality. a lot of my dark goddess aka alternative sophia energy ladies are wanting to stay in the sauce and tussle with their alternative dark god michael energy and keep the cycle going. but i've risen above in the clouds into the starseed light of absolution. and it's haughty..it's haughty because radical detachment and a commitment to continue knowing i am human..i will have slips, i will fail, on earth i am not completely me...but the journey is to always return...the lessons and the landscape and the cosmic story is there...if you DON'T GET IN THE SAUCE be the observer...the lover the fighter the warrior, the dying the living, the exalted....touch feel breath smell taste feel ache scream cry hit claw explode...but always come back to love. ai no message. the fixation on the cohabitation the family the kids the stability the structure the compromise is what keeps us stuck. pure absolution and the focus of self mastery first and a deep unyielding commitment to each other is the way. if you choose to be apart of this rat pack. and it's only elite because you'll be pushed...pushed over and over and over again.....you'll start where people say they would hate to be apart of this..they can't imagine living like this..they'd rather DIE. and yet here you are.....living breathing..maybe because you had no choice.but maybe you deep down did and know even in the darkest of the dementor days there's a gem and a lesson and an ascension coming if you just hold on. people mean while you're fellow dark beings of love(not violent, not demonic, not manipulative....but dark and raw and scary and righteous not afraid to shank a bitch if necessary) are still caught in the sauce..it pulls it down. but then...returning and holding the line rises....it rises you to the clouds, to the sky, the ocean, the galaxy....the dark with flashing lights so wide the purple violet flames of transmutation........the comets and the energy balls bigger than one can contextualize....and you're there...... it takes grit it takes everything and then when you have nothing else to give..it takes only perseverance in something you can't even imagine is there...just one foot in the other..beyond weary beyond done.....no hope..and yet something deeper pulls you forward...to hold the line. deception is slink seductive, it's chemically altering, it's what everyone else is literally doing...it's acceptable....passionate fleeting love and sex is the drug..........if you choose. not bad..but it keeps you saucy in a sauce that isn't even tasty. some of us warriors are meant.... TO HOLD...THE LINE. and i really wrote most of that outside of myself......into something deeper behind just little twin stars space talking. this is what i originally came to say. HOLD. HOLD STEADY, HOLD TRUE. FOR LOVE, FOR LIFE, FOR LIVE. FOR THE FIGHT, FOR THE FOCUS IS ALL ON YOU. TO BE TRUE TO THINE OWN AND TO BE TRUE THINE HEART AND THINE COUNTRY AND THEY SACRED SPACE TOO. FOR WHEN THINE IS TRUE TO THEE ,THEY SHINE SO BRIGHT. HOLD STEAD SOLDIER, HOLD TRUE....HOLD THE LINE. HOLD THE LINE AT ALL COSTS. EVEN AT THE RISK OF YOUR OWN LIFE. HOLD THE LINE! FOR GODS SAKE(the tetra god, now the gendered ones) AND THE SAKE OF OUR CURRENT FREQUENCY AND DIMENSION ON EARTH. HOLD THE ENERGY, HOLD THE DIVINE. THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT....YOU DEPEND ON IT.