I smiled, as I pushed you on the bed, seeing as your body hit the pillow top and sink into its softness.I felt you, as you body contorted when I ran my tongue over the hood of your clit, like a pace horse.I was turned on, at the way you looked at me ging when I slid between your thighs.I melted when you ease into your role as you were given direction.I got excited, as I felt you explode after trying so hard to hold on to that feeling.I am proud, as you walk away naked legs shaking like a newborn calf.I feel relief when you put your head on my chest with a wicked smile on your lipsI can be at peace, knowing that the morning will come and you will still be mine.

A bit of a rant here but Men SUCK!   They are selfish, rude, inconsiderate and far, far too unreasonable.   I fully see and understand why so many women are weary and overwhelmed and just done with men online so often.I have said before i'm pansexual.   Over the past year, I have spoken with several men.   I wouldn't call them Doms as their actions don't warrant the term.   I am learning that Most men fall into one of 3 categories.  Most, but not all.   Most of whom have spoken to me anyways.   And at least one, but many of the many fall into all 3.1 - very very very sexual.  So very sexual focus even when I push and try to talk 'relationship'.   Having no desire or interest of talking likes or hobbies, or what they like to do for fun(besides sexual comments) and usually very quickly stearing the conversation back to sex or kink.2 - very very very unreasonable.I understand the desire to move quick and to not string things along.   I'm more than willing to meet for coffee the same day if it works out and you are 30 min or an hour away or so depending on circumstances.   I HAVE before.But most men online that I speak to are much further away.One after speaking for 2-3 days kept asking nonstop about trying to make plans to meet.   I offered to videochat(I know, but if done the RIGHT way it's like taling over dinner or coffee at a coffeeshop)(almost a Must to establish and maintain anything long distance without a lot of money invested in travel)Bit he didn't want to videochat.  Just make plans and set up a flight(paid for by me) in the next couple weeks or month or so.   I didn't lead him on, was honest and upfront, and frankly..  after 2-3 days?!?Another after a week started active planning a trip, HALFWAY across the country(1500 miles away), to come pick me up and take me to a new forever home with him about a month later.  He also gave me a list of rules and to call him Master and wanted to be very controlling of me very overnight, after a week of talking.(disappointing as he was one of the few that wasn't all sex)Among others....3 - Petty, rude, insulting, almost bipolar when they get pushback.I try not to ever be rude.   But saying no, or i'm not interested, or in the case of the 1500 mile man I was very polite and didn't push baco other than saying this is all moving too fast, i'm overwhelmed and can we please slow down some so we can get to know each other better first.   Plus I'd like to meet at least once(if not more) before upending my life to move to you.  Can we look at setting up a meeting instead first?   His reaction?   call me some names and block me on everything.  Like what?!?But it seems like blocking is very common as it happens over the slightest thing.   Send a pic?  block.(not always, but it has happened)  I say no, can we talk more, i'm not interested, can we go slow, or even once "i'm not really into country music"   almost always block.     The one rare case?   he kept messaging and emailing me for weeks, even after I told him we wouldn't be a match and i'm not interested.it's so very exhausting.....  MEN -  Do better.  Be better.   Be honest, be truthful.  and don't be afraid.   Like I would stalk someone who told me off?   no, i'd just move on.  but be polite and respectful about it.  not rude and insulting...

Let me be honest for a second… I don’t love submissive men because they’re “easy.” I love them because they know their place—and watching a grown man compete for the privilege of doing what I say? That’s my kind of entertainment. See, submissive men are like my personal comedy show and stress relief all in one. Need something? They’re already halfway out the door. Want attention? They’re hanging on my every word. I say “jump” and suddenly I’m getting a TED Talk on vertical efficiency. And don’t get it twisted—this isn’t charity work. I don’t “take care” of subs. I use them. For amusement. For service. For that sweet, sweet satisfaction of watching a man melt just because I smiled his way. So yeah… I love submissive men. They make life fun, they keep me entertained, and best of all? They never forget who the star of the show is. (Hint: it’s me.)

A Soldier Transformed: In the shadowed depths, a fear resides, Of losing control to the darkness inside. Memories of battles, cold and stark, Of a soldier's heart, hardened and dark.   The echoes of war, they still remain, Haunting thoughts that cause you pain. Afraid to slip back into that abyss, To lose your grip, to once again dismiss.   But remember, dear soul, you've come so far, You've journeyed through the wounds and scars. Strength now lies in the light you hold, A beacon of hope, a story untold.   Embrace the fears, let them fade away, For in the present, a new path may sway. Your heart can thaw, your spirit mend, No longer a soldier, but a soul to tend.   So fear not the darkness, embrace the light, For within you burns a flame so bright. You're not just a soldier, you're a man reborn, With a heart that beats, not hardened or worn.

Update december 8 2022  I don't know if anyone noticed but I was gone for a while. It wasn't by choice and I wasn't too happy about it either. What happened was I was logged out of CS (I usually never log out so I don't know why this happened) and it was impossible to log back on. In addition to user id and password the site requires a capchta, and there was none. I tried everything with no success. I wasn't sure if the problem was at my end or if Collarspace was broken. I could read but not write or in any other way take active part and I could not access my mails. After trying other browsers and other devices with the same result I figured it was Collarspace and I decided to contact support. Turned out one has to be logged in to do so, so no help to be found there. All I could do was wait and hope for someone to notice and do something about it. Meanwhile I lost some people hanging in the middle of our conversations without a clue to why I didn't reply. So here goes: I didn't ghost you! I was locked out! Happy Hollidays! (In case I don't update this until next year.)

Just a note — I'm probably not going to gel very well with other sub trans girls, but I'm happy to share pics and chat about our desires, so please don't hesitate to contact me if you like what you see in my profile.   Also, again a note for trans Dommes — I like Mommy Dommes who know that D/s goes both ways. I will happily fluff your ego and make you feel great about yourself if you can treat me like a baby girl who needs pampering, attention and love just in the same way. I will be as obedient to you as I can without doing anything immoral or illegal, of course, and I'll flatter, obey, pump up your ego, and be sweet and submissive to you just like a subbie baby girl or DMlg sub should be.   Same applies if you're an exceptionally good Daddy or Mommy cis Dom/me. I see so many selfish and egotistical profiles from most Dommes which are a huge turn off — the lecturing about throwing away your ego as a sub will work out long-term when you're ready to throw away your female or male ego as a Dom/me, and realize that you're serving your subs needs like they serve yours. They're your priority too, and you need to make them feel good about themselves serving you if you want them there forever. A young and horny boy or girl will serve you to get their needs for some sexual satisfaction fulfilled, but they'll be tired of your galaxy-sized ego saying that you're always right and they're always wrong just because of your relationship dynamics.A similar idea for subs: Please don't ever neglect the need for aftercare for Dom/mes too. They need it as much as you, and they're probably less confident, powerful and in control than you think. It's still a roleplay in a sense, and they have the same doubts as you about their performance. Before or after you get confirmation from them that you were a good boy/girl, be sure to puff up and stroke their egos too and tell them how you loved serving them, that they're a great Daddy/Mommy, etc. Please use your imagination. If your owner isn't good at communicating this back, be sure to ask them for an ego boost and validation as well. Don't stay with them if they become selfish and demanding, though, this is not a one-way street. You have valid needs and you need to ask for them to be fulfilled, too.

I ran over a headlight. Not a bulb, no that would be too easy. I ran over a whole headlight kit. Set. Contraption. Whatever that entire piece is called. I ran it over. But not with a wheel, oh no, that would have been too easy. It got lodged under my car. I had to pull over and get on the ground in a dress and push and pull this thing to get it loose. Yep. I think my car is okay? It didn't blow up.  You know how things happen in threes, right? The two hour tour I took the other night was one. This was two. I didn't have long to wait for three. About an hour later I drove to not one, but two wrong pizza places to pick up my order. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I have lost my mind. In trying not to jinx myself I won't mention this being over or what else could possibly go wrong because I still have two whole days to this week and I need to make it through without calling a mechanic. And I still have to try to fix the kitchen fan, did I tell you that one? A balloon wrapped around it and the whole thing is dead. The lights, the fan, an outlet on that side of the kitchen. I know, I checked the circuit breaker. That's not it. Life is hurling adulting fast balls at me one after the other and I'm trying not to strike out. I'd settle for a walk as long as it isn't because my car stopped working because I ran over a fucking headlight. 

Slippery Feet In the shower this morning, I became aware of the lack of feasibility of soaping the soles of my feet. I mean, slippery feet would lead inevitably to a crash. That is where a slave comes to service. Before the delightful tending to My feet with warm water, soap and oil; before the tongue worship; after the ritual request to speak; before the satisfying engagement of eye contact over My toes with the lapping slave as it concentrates with adoration on the removal any dirt and smudges that may be on the soles of My feet; comes the anticipation of pleasure at the sound of warm water being poured into the wash basin that will be used as I recline in comfort. The glance into the eyes on those times its eyes are visible as it labors up and down My soles when, in paroxysms devotion, it applies its tongue to the cleaning project. For Me, not infrequently, pleasure bordering on ecstasy. And so, after I grant permission for slave to humble itself and order a refreshment, I settle back in My recliner to wait in happy anticipation the humble slave, that has become devoid of self; that is self respect, self care, self concern, self aggrandizement certainly, and has become nothing other than an appliance for My pleasure to provide the ablution with exaggerated care to My feet. After it has finished the cleaning it will perform the permission to speak again, but, this time kissing a licking clean feet. Once I grant the honor of speaking to its better, it will express with emphatic enthusiasm gratitude for the opportunity to provide its Master with pleasure. Life as it should be. Master James

There is a reason I don't mention my father often. Yes, I have father issues. Yes, it has helped shape who I am and what I try to overcome and who I try to be and not be. Let's talk about that. About him. If psychological family philosophy isn't of interest you may want to skip this one.  My father is a selfish, self centered, chauvanistic bully. Always has been, and he has no idea that he is. A lot of excuses have been made for his behaviors. He grew up doted on, his father was the same, blah blah blah, excuses. Now, I've known for some time that I am both more intelligent and emotionally aware than all of my parents. Still, I think people should recognize their own behaviors and adjust accordingly. Silly expectations, that's on me.  He makes me feel like a second class citizen. My opinion doesn't matter, my thoughts aren't worth paying attention to, he is right and I am wrong. It has created a lot of issues for me going all the way back to when I was a little PPC. Everything is a confrontation. It's never a question of curiosity, it's always a derogatory statement in the form of a question with a side of judgment and attitude. And it gets my back up. So I shoot back. Most people do not. I can't help it. And I know it just makes it worse because he won't back down for anything and won't see beyond needing to be the loudest. I'm trying to do this while feeling like a second class citizen and a lifetime of being dismissed, and I fumble a lot but I'm trying to stand up for myself and stand up to him and his opinions. It's scary difficult. It takes a lot out of me. It carves emotional scars a little deeper than they are.  I can honestly say that he has had girlfriends I would have traded him in for and if he died tomorrow I'd very likely be okay with it. I'm not heartless. I do a lot for him, I try to be a good daughter even though he's not been a very good father. I've come to terms with that fact. It can't be changed. He wouldn't own up to it if confronted. It is what it is. It took a long time to come to that.  An entire Thanksgiving meal just for the two of us since the rest of the parents couldn't be here. I ruined it at least three times, according to him. And my kitchen is too cluttered. And I need to do this and that. And I wait on him, bring him things, clean up after him, and stop talking when he ignores me for scrolling on his phone. I both wish and would never wish for you to actually feel this. It's so heavy on my brain, on my heart.  He left this morning and I am elated. I have a whole weekend to recover. To put my house back together. To erase him from my life until Christmas, when he will buy me things he likes without thinking about what I like or asking what I could use or looking at my wish list created for this very purpose, and I'll pretend to ooh and ahh and hope there are gift receipts. Prick. 

Apparently it's time for a much needed journal entry, because my inbox is flooded with messages. A lot of nice messages from nice people with whom nice contact has already arisen, but unfortunately there are also a lot of people out there with (sexual) frustrations or worse. To make things clear to everyone who seeks me out to have a chat, if you have an extensive wishlist as to how you would like to be handled, kept or be treated, I am probably not for you. Submission derives from to submit! This essentially means that you follow and submit to Me and I decide where and how I am going to submit you. Being a slave, means to give up ones free will and give up his or her freedom. Eventhough this is in the BDSM way of life and completely voluntary, it does still mean that I get to kick you out to the curbes if you don't uphold our agreement. In other words, we've made a deal. You become my slave and I get to do with you however I please and you get nothing in return. Your reward lies in being My slave. Then a footnote for some nutcase I came across who felt he needed to fill my mailbox with his pedantic little finger. Nobody is forcing you to send me a message, nobody is telling you or forcing you to become my slave (it is a privilage and certainly not one for you to receive). A footnote in general: I literally receive 30 emails an hour. I am not at your disposal, but those who are chosen by me are at my disposal! Very important difference. This means that I will not respond when and how it suits you, but if and when it suits Me! That will do for now. If you reach out, either be polite or f*** off!  To all others, it is fun getting acquainted with you and talk to y'all soon. Greetings Mrs B.

I should try fishing as a sport because this site is exactly the same. You are putting out a hook waiting for a good fish to swim by. Unhooked a rotten fish last week (married again) luckily never went on a date with that fish. Stuck to my principles and my gut feeling, creepy man contacted me on his second profile.  Very creepy.  Not just cheating on his wife but on the Mistress and wanted a 3rd pond to play in. Having a me day, new underwear, new shoes and dress, hair done, nails and eyebrows, full body wax (fresh and clean), got my head focused on my priorities (my career). But I must admit while waiting patiently some very pretty fish have been swimming by. Reminds me being patient for someone good is always for the best.

In the world are many denominations all claiming to possess the accurate knowledge of the truth. However this is divisions. In 1 Corinthians, Paul appealed to us that we have no divisions amongst ourselves and instead that we all be perfectly united in mind and thought. One of you say, "I follow this" and another says "I follow that" and still another "I follow such and such". Is Christ divided? Yet I say to you, revelations has something against each church. I tell you when Christ unveils his church there will be many upheavals and sudden changes. The real church is nurturing, a good guardian like a parent teaching it's child right and wrong. Allowing for the true knowledge of what truly matters to God the Father and Jesus Christ. Allowing individuals to grow in grace and become one in Christ's image. Jesus said if you love him you would observe his commandments. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 

It's been a while... hello all! Happy New Year. For those that send sweet message, thank you.  I noticed my profile doesn't talk about what I'm looking for due to that whole profile approval crap they were doing a few years ago. I am a DL first & foremost. I love wearing. I do use them. More wet then messy. I am in a LTR, it's very vanilla. He knows that I wear but doesn't know the extent of it. I've been wearing for years, our relationship is weird, some days I'm happy, most days I'm not. It's just been a long time & it's just hard to get up & go, specially without support.  I would love to eventually find someone that can be my daddy dom who accepts diapers & would want me as his diapered slave. I wear as often as I can, but I am not able to be 247. So if anyone on this site is still out there looking for his baby girl, feel free to msg me, let's see where it goes.  PS- I've been doing long enough- if you reach out & you're asking pervy questions, just a Hello, or I've seen you reach out before & it's the same copy paste as before- you're not getting a response from me. Happy 2026 all!  PS- Be Kind. We may not all agree on the same kinks, but we're all here looking for something different than the rest of the vanillas. We're all weird in our own ways. 

To elaborate on my interest/search:  First, no headless profiles or photos of yourself heavily edited or otherwise masked by a photo app, otherwise my first and last impression of you will be that you are a fake or catfisher -- I won't respond.  Sexual encounters are not a priority, in fact most of my fetish play encounters to present have been non-sexual; as anyone who has played before knows 99% of fetish is mental.  A regular relationship with someone who has common interests, particularly with bondage, is ideal for developing intimacy but not essential.  Just play is perfectly fine.  I'm not here for a 'blow and go' so if you're just looking to get off I am not for you. Finally, I've dated or otherwise met a number of different indviduals over the years;  in my opinion life is too short to 'search for the perfect one'; I prefer those like myself who are open minded and grounded that I get along well with to see where it goes over time.    

Stop looking for women to do some specific sex act to you. Women in general prefer to have sex with their lovers. Not some random guy who just wants to experience pegging. Want to get pegged? Socialize and be active in kink communities, make friends of all kinds, network, until you find a woman you like who likes you back and enjoys pegging her lover, and grow a relationship that includes sex and pegging. Or find a reputable pro who provides pegging as a service and pay her.

RigidityI have recently discovered something about my psyche. I have a very rigid mind, or at least when it comes to roles. I like dominants to be dominant, and subs to be subs. I like hierarchies, both parties knowing their place makes a relationship work, i feelBut my mentality has a few downsides too: Once roles are realised, i don't know if i can ever see someone in a different light. If a dominant wants to submit for a change, i can't handle that, If they start acting contrary to their established role, it just causes damage to my mental image of that person, and my respect for them   I also group kinks into these rigid roles. There are a variety of things that i feel are "submissive acts", and a dominant doing them makes me uncomfortable in the same way, even if they are just doing the things they want to do. These include things like: -consuming urine -wearing chastity -Worshipping feet -being penetrated -Begging, or pleading   And to a certain lesser extent, rimming and giving oral The list is not exhaustive These are all things that i, as a sub, am generally comfortable and happy with, But i can't really deal with a dominant choosing or maybe even wanting to do these things, it feels wrong. Amd I get "the ick" These have largely not been a problem, but there are a few edge cases where i talk to someone promising, and then they reveal wanting to do stuff like this, and it kills everyting. Not all at once though, i try to explain whats wrong, they usually understand, don't talk about those desires again for a while. But unfulfilled desire always resurface, and someone who wants to be penetrated is eventually going to ask me again to do it. And again, and again.   I guess we can say that "dominants doing submissive things" is one of my hard limits. it makes me irreconcileably uncomfortable and wears down the respect i have for a person.   I dont think i can change the way i think,maybe others can't either. i'm seeking a dominant who likes this kind of rigid hierarchy too.

You want a chase And I'll give you one baby Two can play this game I'll have you coming back  Make me scream your name in bed And afterwards I'll push you away Then I'll sing songs to you and dance for you But you mustn't touch I'll have you crawling back to mate But oh why should I cave in I'll tell you no  And smile as I walk away Want a chase I'll give you one Remember you put me on that pedestal  Now I'll have you begging you didn't Two can play the game giving a way for a chase I'll be your prey in this scene But can you catch me or will I get away?  Darling your making me dangerous like you Touch me and it will burn  Just like you did to me After all we dance in the flames The pain sounds like your name Now I have you begging me asking if you're going insane    

It takes time and patience to get to know one another online, whether you are the submissive or the dominant.  Once common desires and interests are established, then further exploration of a possible relationship can continue.  As discussion continues a level of trust can be established allowing further exploration of a possible relationship.  The following is what I will require up to meeting in person as the Dominant. 1.    Be Honest:  I am willing to share personal information about myself, my past and my experience in the lifestyle.  I will always be truthful with you.  I expect the same from you. 2.    Communicate:  Initially, communication starts via email messages and/or text messages on an internet platform.  As humans, we struggle to communicate face to face much less via written messages or texts where we read emotions into the written words whether that was the intent or not.  We do not all have the same level of writing skills and things can be misunderstood very easily via written words.  Remember that listening (or reading) is a major part of communication and one word answers does not qualify as communication. 3.     Be Available:  Given that the internet allows us to connect with anyone in the world, it is important to be able to communicate on a regular basis, especially during the exploration of a possible relationship.  We all have different work or life schedules and we may even be in different time zones, but it is important to establish a time to communicate with one another. After common lifestyle interests are discussed and initial levels of trust are established, be prepared to share photos and that does not necessarily mean nude photos.  Mutual attraction definitely is beneficial moving forward.  We live in a vanilla world and you should be prepared to discuss those topics also… unless your desire is be in chains in a dungeon for the rest of your life.  LOL 4.     Verification:  Once it looks like a relationship could be developed, be prepared to have discussions via phone and video calls.  This is about verifying that you are real person and that you are ready to communicate at the next level.  This is NOT about having naked cyber sessions… again it is the evolution of communication and developing trust. As note, I have even had scammers verify themselves via video calls, only to learn later that they needed money, for whatever reason you can imagine. 5.    Financial Situation:  It is important for both parties to understand the financial situation of the other person at a high level.  It does not mean disclosing how much money that you have in the bank.  The next step in the development of the relationship would include meeting face to face.  It is highly likely that could mean travel, which equates to dollars for one person or both.  Will the expenses associated with a face to face meeting be the responsibility of one person or shared equally?  This has to be discussed.  

Something must be wrong with me I have wandered out amongst the wolves lately... I kinda knew what would happen but like everyone, I hoped for different... I hoped to find that hidden jewel standing in the shadows like I typically do, alas fools gold emerged... In my submission the power dynamic is very important, ( I do voice this upon meeting) I think it’s taken with a grain of salt but I communicate and try to warn of my insecure Self Protective Dominant Nature... I scream that I live my vanilla life in Top Space, I live there everyday, I have responsibilities there, deadlines, decisions, must do’s and I hold myself accountable to be all things and do all things... I can be quite aggressive in this world ( I’ve learned to live in ). I’m not sure these days if I’m actually conveying this or if it’s in my head .... Like a movie that plays in the background while you are thinking or doing something else. You say your a Dominant / Master or even Top... I say I’m looking for a part time arrangement because I’m married in an open relationship... He is not a Dominant / Master however he is my Alpha. I am given free license to fulfill my cravings as long as it doesn’t interfere with my marriage... ( I will admit pretty cool and I’m thankful) I love my Husband and I do serve him too ... not sure he understands it all the time but if it wasn’t for my submission to him, I would have ran a long time ago... He holds very strong with me and he does remind me of who is in charge... I then advise of my personality and my need to relinquish control but that a foundation must be built with me due to needing to trust you. I advise you about my role in my everyday life... Yes there is a lot about me ( sorry I’m so complicated) Then we start to get to know one another ... You agree this can be accomplished ... (Maybe in wishful thinking, we all have periods of that) you read my journals I’m open and honest with you. I speak of my short comings honestly I understand I’m a lot to take on ... I try to be as good as possible until you start to ask me questions or speak about techniques you don’t understand .... I try to explain. What I know ... I find out you have done no research in the lifestyle and have not reached out to anyone / or attended anything. The Power Dynamic shifts due to your lack of knowledge and I become the teacher .... Things then fall apart for me, I try to rationalize you are human and give you allowances for that .... but no I have periods of top space that go unchecked ... things crumble This is my journey ... this is why I walk away ... This is why you might see me out and then I disappear... I love this lifestyle but I will say it is the hardest thing to understand in my life... Each time this happens it takes a lot of me, leaving me empty, sad and like something is wrong with me .... Tags: (add) Aug 15, 2018

THE NIGHT I MET BRIAN, part 2 He hesitated. I wasn't sure why. Then he said, "But not here. Not on this concrete floor. Not like this. We can't do it upstairs either because this is a friend's house."I caught on quickly. "We could go to my place."He never did fuck me that night. His cock was too big for me to take (at that time), so I played with his cock and the rest of his body, and then fucked him. The rest of the night ended up being pretty vanilla, but I had no complaints. He revealed at that time that he was actually 20, not 25, as stated in his profile. When men lie about their ages, it's usually to make themselves younger, so I had to ask why he'd made his age older. "Would you take a 20yo Dom seriously?" I had to admit, maybe not. Even the one lie he'd told was thoughtful.Brian also turned out to be much more of a sweetheart than his Dom persona. None of the head games or verbal abuse that he'd previously engaged in. We fell asleep in each other's arms in my bed, later joined by my Standard Schnauzer, who adored Brian (a good sign). I woke before Brian and extracted myself to do normal everyday things, like load the dishwasher. Brian awoke with first a start, not realizing initially where he was, then what he described as contentment and a bit of surprise that I hadn't kicked him out after we were done having sex, as he'd so sadly grown used to.Brian and I became romantically involved for 2 years after that. It was fun taking him out on his 21st birthday to all the Seattle bars and clubs that he ultimately found "underwhelming." I had discussed several times with him how our relationship, with its 35-year age difference, couldn't last forever, but we enjoyed each other's company immensely. I even met his parents, which I feared would be awkward, considering I was older than his mother, but they were great, mostly just thankful that Brian was with someone who treated him so well. As our 2-year relationship began to taper off, we transitioned from a conventional romantic role back to kink, and the kink was (and continues to be) much better this time around, considering that we now knew each other intimately, had spent 2 years building trust, and I could now not only take his gargantuan cock (I worried he'd pass out whenever he got an erection because all the blood would go rushing out of his skinny body into his disproportionate penis), but could take it rough. I relocated to Southern Oregon last year, but Brian and I still get together for fun and kink and friendship. The man who ends up as his life partner is going to be a very lucky man indeed. As lucky as I've been for having Brian in my life.

Ok so I don't know but I have this vision in my mind of me serving  a strong woman she has silver hair and loves and expects me to be at my best and in my  dreams I do  in them I begin my day at the foot of her bed awakening before her to be able to prepare for her i wash and shower make her coffee begin her breakfast make sure everything is clean and straighten up before she wakes up I draw a bath make her toast and kneel at the side of the bed and slowly kiss her feet and up her body this normally wakes up her happy and refreshed but today seems different she simply lays on her back and says I have to pee I'm not used to this but I'm prepared I grab a towel climb on the bed between  her legs put the towel under me just in case and attach  my mouth to her she releases herself very slowly allowing me to breathe and swallow it's quite sour being her first of the day but I know from experience that this is what she wants and my best course of action is to drink her clean her and allow her to go back to sleep as I'm thinking this I notice the stream has stopped and she's pushing my head , she quietly  says clean me  and I run an fetch a warm washcloth I wipe her and she rolls over and says I'm still tired and would like to sleep turn off the shower and coffee and go do the laundry be back here at 8am and wake me up by massaging and kissing my back I expect the laundry to be done and I would like oatmeal instead of toast now I have my task and an hour to complete them    this is normally when I wake up with a raging hardon and I gotta admit I always feel a  little dirty like is there something wrong with me for wanting this type of relationship?       it's October and the submissve inside of me wants to be allowed out to play i do a pretty good job at surp them have for a few years now  But can I tell you how bad I yearn to be slapped smacked and spit on i really really love to be used and abused and honestly it's been too long 

There have been some changes within our household.  The slave we used to own has had to take a break to deal with several members of her vanilla family that have gotten really sick 3000 miles away. While she held the title of slave, she ended up being more of a sister wife and we've stayed in touch even after her move.  Although not in a D/s sense, we have remained friends. To that, we are back to seeking one who desires to serve, and be of service.  Who craves the reward of praise for a job well done, and is bothered more about her failures then about any punishment she gets for them. To be clear, we are not seeking a girlfriend, or a just a play partner.  This is a life experience for us that goes well beyond play, and regardless of your experience level, our goal is to teach you to serve as we desire, but also to emotionally reward you for that service.

Dazzling, as if illuminated by a celestial spotlight, she stood next to the passenger door of a Black Mercedes-Benz Roadster.   Parked next to the light pole, the image of her, the car, and the reflective light was surreal.   “Door” she snapped. “ Get my door boy!” Head down he realized she wanted him to open the passenger door. Once open, she backed up to the car, in one graceful fluid motion she bent forward simultaneously sliding her round firm bottom into the leather bucket seat. Clutching her handbag she again snapped “ Close the door boy!”   It took a moment for his brain to adjust to his reality. Closing her door, he went to the drivers side and got in.   Fear of the unknown clouded his brain and overwhelmed his senses.   Her perfume. Her smell. The Leather smell. The car smell. He came aware with the click of her seatbelt. He did likewise. She reached from her seat and started the engine and turned the stereo on. Soft quiet smooth Jazz surrounded them.

AcadaMay CFNM Party Dates For years women have been sexually objectified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are objectified by women? Most alternative events objectify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back!  If you wish to attend any of the events please do contact me here to be sent details about where to apply.  AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party When: Saturday 02 November Time: 4pm  AcadaMay CFNM Couples Tea Party When: Saturday 16th November Time: 4pm            

I thought it would be a good thing to do to give people an idea of what I mean by role play. I like interrogation play. I even have a marvelous space for that. Of course there is the old but still great student and teacher or professor. Or someone might come home smelling like booze and be put through their paces and chastized for drinking and driving. I also like it when play begins hours before the scene starts. That unexpected text with instructions to put certain clamps on your nipples and or balls and or labia and to not remove them until you are given permission. Or to insert a particular item into a particular orifice to wear as long as instructed. Or all of the above, text after text after delicious text. The list goes on and my mind gets even more diabolical. One might be given a bag to take into the restroom during dinner containing implements designed to cause discomfort with instructions regarding what to do with said implements. Does any of that sound like fun to anyone but me? I can't imagine a better way to get our heads in a wonderful space for play. Except maybe that that low voice speaking into your ear... You are really in trouble when I get you home...

The grass is greener on the other side. Met someone normal from this site. Both very busy working professionals but seem to be orbiting which is not a bad thing just waiting to align a little. Meeting someone normal makes you look at this site a little differently. Your not dissappointed by the odd time waster because your time has no longer been wasted. Your hopeful about a possible relationship now being closer to one that might have some sort of functionality in a modern busy working professionals relationship. Makes you not want to advertise your vexes with the site but merely observe and let not affect you anymore.   - The grass is greener on the other side.

"The Grimoire of Urban Flora: Sacred Sexuality, Healing, and Transformation" this has been weeks coming. i finally got to do the audio review of urban flora. not just a music review..but a review in the context of the sacred spirituality power dynamic i do. with a mindset of mermaid energy. i go over briefly the summary of the energetics of the dark goddess sophia vibe, the dark god archangel michael male energy, where i get this from and the set up of why i see alina baraz's urban flora album as a guidebook aka grimoire for women like us..who love men like this. in this nature. too keep in the mermaid theme besides explaining a summary, all of it is in audio format to continue with the water theme. while i didn't record it on a water day or water planetary hour. i am rectifying it by releasing it today mercury day during mercury hour in my time zone for extra energetic effect. you're like a wave, pulling me underneath, there's a universe inside of you, i can make you feel, can i undress you, let them wash away your pain, what's a king without a queen, chasin your pretty thoughts   https://audiomack.com/sophia-starseed/song/the-grimoire-of-urban-flora-sacred-sexuality-healing-and-transformation imagine sick ass water images because on my other social media it's there and it adds to the effect and the formatting of collarme has nerffed the message. oh well.

 recently met a vanilla guy that had been a drug addict for more than half of his life. He has been clean for 5 years. This is information that was shared with a perfect stranger within the first 5 minutes of conversation. (I appreciate the upfront honesty, but damn.) From what I learned about him, he was easily swayed by previous lovers and enjoyed being a "doormat." Without knowing My kinky hobbies, he disclosed his desires to be owned by a Dominant Woman.qIuestioned his ability to be involved in a kinky lifestyle relationship without it being totally draining on the Domme. Although I wasnt even going there with this guy, the last thing I want is a overly needy person in my life.Has anyone else run screaming from someone that just oozes insecurity and extreme neediness?How long would someone with an addictive personality actually be able to make it in a kinky relationship with YOU?

I’ve been sitting on an idea… and I think it’s time to bring it to life. I’m putting together a show called Hierarchy Protocol. A real space. A real house. Real people. For one week, a select group of submissives, slaves, and Dommes will live under structure. Roles will be assigned. Tasks will be given. Behavior will be observed. No fantasy. No hiding behind a screen. Just how you actually function. I’m not looking for everyone. I’m looking for people who are serious, who understand discipline, and who are willing to step into something real and be seen. This is still in the early stages, so I’m also looking for people who are willing to help build it—production, ideas, structure, whatever you bring that’s actually useful. So I’ll ask you directly— Would you be willing to step into something like this? Or help me bring it to life? If so… come talk to me. — Goddess Nikki

This morning I saw the following on a profile from a heterosexual dom who has a wickledly fun screen name that gets my attention every time I see it. He asks,  "What can a straight male Dom do for a male slave? I am at a loss as to what I can do for male subs and slaves and why they look at my profile when I say no men?" So, I thought I would answer this. For the most simple response, speaking on behalf of all the kinky gays, someone with a great screen name like "IAMTHEBESTMASTER", or similar, makes one look no matter what they have between their legs. Second, sometimes a profile just slips through with the "couple" selection and/or even states sub males on the interest choices. Finally, speaking for me and I assume a select group of kinky gays, this is not about sex for me. I am driven by masculinity and, on my sub side, authority. Having a straight dom take control and train me like a naked employee where the need to please and be pleased is not based on sexual attraction is quite hot and will make me a better man all the way around. Also, it's just fun to look at what you can't have sometimes. So, there is my response.

Looking for a companion/assistant/domestic slave:   * My family is my priority. You need to be fine with this and, I am definitely selfish and egoistic. I know it sounds unfair, but I want someone to devote his or her life to me. My partner is fully aware of my search and my kinks and he agrees. I am not willing to hide myself or help you to cheat on your partner. That is why I am looking for a single, widow, or divorced. * I like younger people between 27 to 40 years old. I say 27 years old because I had several messages of "boys" looking for a mum and I am not into that. * If you are men, height is important (I like tall men). You are minimum 1.80m and with very nice genitals (no, do not send me a pic, that is not very elegant). I like assertive, tall and strong men, someone that will ONLY submit to me, I do not want someone that is everybody's doormat, I am the only one that can step on you! If you are a lady, your height is not important. * I do not want someone with beard and mustache, and this is something not negotiable. They are hard limits, I am into waxed/shaved men. Face hair is more than just a turn off to me, I do not want to explain myself about it here. * Yes, I want to have a handsome or cute sub/slave. I want someone that I find attractive. This is quite subjective, I am the one that will decide that. Beauty is something that involves not only looks. Smart with good manners. A gentleman, a nice lady, that is quite important. * I am into giving pain, and humilliation, are you in? * NO smokers, not into drugs or alcohol, this is another hard limit. Plus I cannot be around that, really, not interested, not negotiable. Hygiene is very important! You know the meaning of showering, parfum and the use of toothbrush (Believe me, I say this for a reason). * Not into online games or just wasting time, I do not have that luxury! * You live not far from Tienen, Aarschot, Leuven (Belgium) or you travel a lot to Belgium. I already had slaves that went wherever I lived due business trips and I liked it. But I am not going to ask you to relocate, I am not looking at the moment for a 24/7. * You speak English, my Dutch and French are not good enough to establish a relationship. If this sound interesting, send me a nice and respectful message and I will be nice and respectful!

Hello to the beautiful souls in this lifestyle  i've been away from this site awhile, i seem to have developed, in more ways than one !  Especially my lovely budding breasts i now have growing on me, i accept i am submissive, trans, or sissy if you like.  Two women decided to have me sign up for gender reassignemnt, and now i am pre op and on hormones, and i so love being me now, a kinky hybrid submissive, the only sad thing is, i'm not owned.  boo !  The two ladies moved on after they knew there was no going back for me. Now i'm seeking an Owner who would love to carry on making me be the way i am meant to be, serving them.  i would embrace TPE and accept being a slave too, no say, no control.  i jsut nered to meet that person who'd love doing such to me.. Don't be shy,,say Hi 

I am a bit concerned over the mail I get here on Collarspace.My profile CLEARLY states that I am a very happily owned bisexual slave.  I have been owned for eleven years. So why do all these male subs, switches and Doms mail me about becoming either their pet or serving me? I just do not understand. My profile seems very clear and concise to me. Are there that many Trolls that just resond to my pictures without even bothering to read my profile? Are these men complete idots who simply can't Master the english language? I am polite to people but I find these folks to be annoying. Please stop

I  messed up badly extremely badly on my first night at Masters home  I. Have thought n thought about it and I know i have to show Master that I know i made a  Big mistake and no matter what,I'm going to do my best to never ever do that again  We did discuss what happened and it did have the potential to kill what we both wanted. I will strive to be better,do better and be what you want,need and desire  I just read a post about shitty subs,yes I said it and it did strike a nerve. We did discuss my behaviour and over the next 2 days,I did demonstrate to Master that  I was ashamed of myself and stepped up in everyway possible  I could've ruined the best opportunity to be owned by a Master who is so special and so different . Your a kind,caring and strict Master and even tho we agreed to never bring it up again,I want to say sorry .. That was not acceptable in any way shape or form and beat myself up daily.. I know I have a way to go and I will Master. I want you to be proud to own me,. .were still kinda new to each other,but ii want this to work with all my heart Master 

I wrote this as part of an introductory message to someone and think it was good enough to share here. "This is an alternative lifestyle to me There are several reasons, one is something that kind of bothered me at a young age I shoved thebad thoughts I had, I had even as a very young youth, thoughts that both horrified and fascinated meI used to justify my thoughts as not being cruel if what I did, I did to those who deserved it, like criminals etc What worried me was the sexuality I feltIt was much later in life, around 40 years ago I started putting it all together from a primal blueprint and social and religious pressure through to conditioning I was relieved to find a world I fitted, and its this world and learning to interact between the lifestyle and the vanilla world that I have been studying, learning, teaching and livingIts a strange world with so many dark and mysterious places."

Since editing a profile will take me offline for a period of time I will update my situation and desires in my journal. #1 I reside in Temecula, CA. My profile text still refers to Riverside, which was my prior city. Those who whish to serve me, will be willing to come to Temecula. #2 I have a female partner, who is fully aware of my activities on this site and encourages my search for a sub. She will not be sexually involved in my relationships. #3 A live-in 24/7 arrangement is currently not available. My desire is someone to serve on regular visits. How much submissive time you can give me when not in-person, is up for discussion. #4 I very much wish to have an in-person relationship with my sub. However, while Covid is raging, I will entertain an online relationship, with the possibility of transition to real-time later. I am tired of waiting for this thing to “blow over”, so I will do what I can in the meantime. I do hope that spring of 2022 will be a better time to meet. #5 On the subject of Covid, we are both full vaccinated and boosted. But we have a family member, in regular close proximity to us,  who is immune compromised. We have to be very careful about meeting during the pandemic. This situation is, hopefully, temporary. #6  I enjoy correspondence, but if someone reaches out to me for the first time with a short one liner, I am not interested. Tell me about yourself in a short paragraph and you will likely  get a response from me.

Well, yeah, I spit blood when I wake upSink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and make-upJust two days since the mainframe went down and I'm still messed upRoom feels like a meat freezer, I dangle in like cold cutsMissed calls, answer phones from people I just don't trustMirror talk, fake love, but I'll take a pound of your fleshBefore you take a piece of my pay stubWhite roses, black doves, Godmother, rise upI need you to see me for what I have become My, my, those eyes like fireI'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyreCome now, bite through these wiresI'm a waking hell and the gods grow tiredReset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higherGrow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire I guess it goes to show, does it not?That we've no idea what we've gotUntil we lose itAnd no amount of love will keep it aroundIf we don't choose it And I don't know what's got its teeth in meBut I'm about to bite back in angerNo amount of self-sought furyWill bring back the glory of innocence My, my, those eyes like fireI'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyreCome now, bite through these wiresI'm a waking hell and the gods grow tiredReset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higherGrow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire

11/27/25 - updated 12/2/25* I'm at a turning point. I'll be focusing on things and people IRL. If you're near Denver and want to meet up at an event, drop me a line. I don't get message notifications here on CS, so FetLife may be your best bet. I hope you have an enjoyable and safe holiday season! Blue (= *I was away from CS for a while due to an illness. The cause remains unknown, however the effects were evident... The left hemisphere of my head went numb for almost two weeks, and I completely lost hearing in my left ear. I had balance issues, trouble focusing, and since the ear and sinus infection spread to my eye, I had pinkeye. It was frustrating to be unable to attend events at the Dungeon, including the party I'd spent over a year planning. Most of my hearing returned, though I gave some permanent damage on the left side. I'm wondering if there may have been some effect on my mental health while the side of my head was numb... I'm doing OK for the most part, just facing some issues that I haven't experienced in years. I'll be fine, I know. As always, I try to keep a positive attitude. Unfortunately I didn't get much accomplished during the month or so I was ill, which is one big reason I'm focusing on people and events locally. I'm still looking for a sub/slave, though, so I won't be gone for good. 😉

Finding the Dominant you want.  There are a lot of submissives looking for a Dominant. Your initial interaction can make or break if you move forward.  Figure out what you are looking for. Then, look for someone who fits that vision.  A loving relationship? A scene occasionally?  Do you want someone who does precisely what you want?   Are you basing your need off porn and fantasy? Think about this one. Don't look for perfect because you might pass up someone who can grow to be your "perfect" person in all the right ways. Don't be blind to imperfections; you might miss out.  Get to know the real person you are talking to.  Don't hold the person to your porn fantasy?  No one will meet the fantasy built up in a realistic relationship.  Great advice, I read this morning. "The best advice I can give any submissive man is do not look for a domme; look for a person."  Build the relationship after getting to know the person in a vanilla way. You might be surprised how much more fulfilling the relationship will be.  Be the amazing, intelligent person you are, and let yourself shine while getting to know her. 

Piercings Piercings can be incorporated into BDSM play as a form of body modification and enhancement of sensory experiences. However, it's important to note that piercings are a personal choice, and engaging in any BDSM activities involving piercings should be based on informed consent, safety, and proper aftercare. Here are some points to consider: 1. Informed Consent: Consent is vital in any BDSM activity, including piercing play. All participants should have a clear understanding of the risks, implications, and intentions behind the piercing. Open and honest communication is crucial to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable, informed, and consents willingly to the activity. 2. Safety and Hygiene: If piercings are involved in BDSM play, it is essential to prioritize safety and hygiene. Sterilization of piercing equipment and following proper aftercare protocols are vital to minimize the risk of infection and other complications. It's advisable to consult a professional piercer who adheres to strict hygiene standards and has experience in BDSM-related piercings. 3. Sensation and Aesthetics: Piercings can provide unique sensations and aesthetic enhancements during BDSM play. They can be used as points of attachment for restraints or other bondage accessories, adding an element of control or vulnerability. Sensory play involving piercings, such as gentle tugging or stimulation, can also be explored within negotiated boundaries and consent. 4. Healing and Aftercare: It's important to consider the healing process and aftercare of piercings. Certain BDSM activities may put stress on freshly pierced areas, hindering the healing process. Adequate time should be allowed for healing before engaging in any activities that might disrupt or damage the piercing. Following proper aftercare instructions provided by a professional piercer is essential to minimize complications and promote healing. 5. Emotional and Psychological Impact: It's crucial to recognize that piercings can have emotional and psychological significance for individuals. Engaging in BDSM activities involving piercings requires understanding and respect for each participant's feelings and boundaries. Regular communication, check-ins, and aftercare are essential to ensure the well-being and emotional support of all involved.   As with any BDSM practice, piercings should always be approached with caution, consent, and a focus on safety. Educating oneself, seeking guidance from professionals, and engaging in open communication with all participants are vital to creating a consensual and enjoyable experience.

Lifestyle submissive man who is willing to accompany Me to munches and fetish clubs such as Pedestal.  Message me to get to know each other. First meet is at the Mawney Munch in Romford, Essex, England so live no more than an hour or so away. D/s FLR relationship sought with kink AFTER knowing each other at least SiX months. No instant gratification. I am on Fetlife so look at my profile. Also service sub sought for garden work. Mistress Whipplash Ma'am 

He Heard the Bells on Christmas DayShe waited for him by the door. He was working late today, and he’d promised they would have their celebration when he got home. Just having him there was all she wanted, all she needed. He was her star that guided her and she loved showing her appreciation for his gifts.Her cheeks were cold. The red teddie didn’t cover her ass. It didn’t really cover her size DDs that hung over the top either. The white fur trim was fun, playful and she did like the way it felt against her pale flesh. She was wearing jingle bells around her ankles and she played games with herself to see just how still she could be while she waited by the door for him. How long could she stay like that and not hear the bells? She waited, her ass in the air, legs parted slightly, breasts mashed against the floor, her head down, positioned in a way she knew he especially liked to see her. Open. Available. Waiting for him.  She heard the car approach, the sound of it in the driveway. She inhaled. The door opened. She twitched. She felt dampness roll slowly down the inside of her thigh and the bells jingled as she shook in anticipation of his arrival. The door shut, the sound of the locks engaged, his footsteps approached the door. She could barely stop of squirming. The damn bells jingled and she silently cursed herself. Had he heard? She held still and listened. Where was he?Her mind drifted to thoughts of him. He was always in there with her. She never felt alone after she’d met him and he’d consumed her mind. It started friendly, but without realizing it, she found herself always thinking about him. He didn’t demand things, they just talked, but she found herself wanting to do things for him. Slowly, he’d moved in her head and she’d stopped feeling lost.She never heard him come up behind her. He’d caught her off guard. His gloved hand muffled a slap across her bare, pale ass cheek.  And then another one. The bells jingled with each impact. She closed her eyes and pictured his face. He must have come in the back way.  She heard his wide, shiny belt slide from its place on his waist. He smacked one cheek and then the other, his gloved hand rubbing the now hot flesh vigorously.  His hand dipped into her pussy, the glove soaking up some of her wetness. He chuckled. She resisted the urge to press back against his hand. Sometimes he’d let her grind against him, sometimes he’d let her cum that way, but not tonight. He’d not said a word yet, she had no idea yet what presents he had in store for her.    His hand slid up her wet slit, and in between her cheeks. Another slap of the belt while a gloved index finger probed her tight opening. The fabric scratched her, she winced, the jingle bells sounded as her body shook. He pressed a bit harder, her sphincter resisting the pressure, and he smacked her ass again with the belt. She yelped, he knew there were tears in her big blue eyes now. He also watched her back relax, he gave her the chance to inhale and then exhale slowly, and his finger was slowly pulled into her.He dropped the belt, and leaving his index finger snug inside her, his other hand undid his pants. His cock was hard now. She quivered with anticipation and the sound of the bells came from behind them. He rubbed his cock up and down his wet cunt’s slit, it had become his game to toy with her, to see those responses that generated the wetness and to see how long he could make it last. Helped take his mind of the drudgery of work.  Toys were his specialty, but his favorite toys were warm and wet, they wanted to please him.She felt the roughness of the glove rub against her muscle as he pulled out, but then, almost immediately, she l of his cock slide inside her. He filled her and she loved having him inside her ass as much as her mind.  He paused, then grabbing her hair like reins, he pushed himself even deeper. His body smacked against her and the bells jingled. He could still feel the heat of her spanked cheeks, and it felt good as he held her cheeks against his thighs, pulling her head back, his cock flexing inside her ass.He kept up the grinding, the thrusting. She’d push back on him, and he’d wrapped her hair around his fists to hold onto her bucking tighter. She’d clench on his cock and he would sigh as he felt the tightness she worked so hard to provide for him. He finally released himself inside her and slowly pulled out, letting go of her hair and letting her drop to the ground. His boot kicked at the inside of her knee softly though. He wasn’t done with her. He reached into the bag he’d brought in with him and placed a cold, metal butt plug in her ass. The plug had a ruby red stone in the base and it slipped in with only a slight resistance as some of his cum was pushed out to make room. The bells jingled as he tapped on the stone set in the base. Just one more of her buttons…He reached into his bag, and he pulled out another gift for her… walking slowly around to stand in front of her he whispered “up”. She did so slowly, her ass very sore from his attention, the plug filling her even as much as he did. He bent down slightly and placed a steel, locking collar around her neck. Her tears didn’t flow this time from pain or happiness that was pleasing him. He’d given her such a wonderful gift and the small liquid drops ran down each cheek. He chuckled again and wiped them away.He bent down this time very close to her ear and said… “I wouldn’t be so happy just yet… I’m wondering… how do you think you’re going to cum tonight without making those damn jingle bells jingle?” He laughed harder this time, and clipping to the collar a leash he’d also pulled out of his bag, he led her to his bedroom.   

I am dumbfounded by the number of female submissive, on this site, who in an act of straight out dominance insist on integrating a core component of the vanilla lifestyle into the lifestyle developed from the writings of the Marquis de Sade. Especially, when that vanilla component is the antithesis of The Marquis' work and why he theorized women were too inhibited to wantonly explore their complete sexual response. De Sade observed that emotional love was like a drug (turns out to be oxytocin) that wore off and eventually left the woman disenchanted as her resistance to the hormone built up and the man’s efforts to re-create the first dose becomes more and more difficult. To the point, that eventually, the man quits trying and seeks out a woman who will fuck him like his wife did initially and validate his efforts. So now, the women has a legitimate reason to look elsewhere for that dose of that initial oxytocin. Which only happens a few times in each relationship, and if it happens, it’s always happens in the beginning. And, the more she gets of it (oxytocin) the more immune she becomes to it’s affect. This means, that by building on a foundation of emotional love, women are essentially setting a time bomb underneath the relationships entire foundation, as well as inhibiting their own sexual being.

  Its been a year since I discovered nu-metal. It's spoken to me like no other type of music has...Like as if...I was missing something in my life. My thoughts Is interpreted through the amplifyed speakers. Then, the YouTube algorithm brought KORN in the mix and just went absolutely crunk nutty.   

COCKSUCKERS PLEDGEby Jeremy C. Turnbull - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my place is at the feet of my Feeder; that my sexual fulfillment depends on the pleasure I give my Feeder, and his generosity allows me to gain nourishment from him. - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my only real sexual organs are my mouth, tongue, and throat; that my only need is to pleasure my Feeder. When I am at my true place between his legs, I have no need other than this.- As a Cocksucker, I solemnly vow, without hesitation or regret, to possess a willing mouth; to know I belong on my knees in the presence of a true Feeder; to accept my Feeder’s milk, his nourishment, his cum, in any manner my Feeder requires; to give my Feeder my best, because this is what he deserves for allowing me to nourish myself. - Furthermore, I vow to maintain such focus on his cock and his pleasure that it becomes the center of my universe; to suck, swallow, gag, stroke and choke when he expaspects it from me; to learn when he needs me to suck, swallow, gag, stroke, and choke without having him to tell me. - By this solemn pledge, I accept my place in the world; I love and embrace being a Cocksucker, as this is the only way I can perform to my Feeder’s satisfaction. I swear to make my Feeder moan. I accept that my Feeder is allowed to say whatever he wants or call me whatever he wants while I am pleasuring him. - I agree to show my addiction and need for my Feeder’s cock and cum by begging for it if need be, because a Cocksucker has no pride, he is a slave. I agree, obviously, to make my mouth a willing and anxious hole for my Feeder’s nourishing seed. And to be ready for my Feeder at any time, or multiple times. - It is my duty to learn every nuance of my Feeder’s cock and what pleasures him the most. I accept not to bite unless my Feeder desires it. I agree to surrender to deep throating, to face-fucking, to multiple cocks and being roughly used. I will never stop until my Feeder is finished with me and truly satisfied In conclusion, as a cocksucker, my sexual identity is tied to the cock of another Man. I know that in life I will only achieve fulfillment through the graciousness and charity of my Feeder and hereby vow with all sincerity to service my Feeder to the best of my ability and strive to improve my technique. The consequences in breaking this contract will result in my spiritual, sexual and physical starvation.

Absolutely no idea where this came from but it resonates so profoundly!   The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and seeks. The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the drive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation.  They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her, as well as in life. Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;  and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly. These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only grasp the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect.  Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance.  

Gratitude and Adoration slave needs to Iive in a world of gratitude and adoration. The more it emphasizes those two mental attributes, the happier it will be accepting its true slave self. My training will help it develop these two alternate mental states, slave.

Since I have been away for a while, have a writing entry!   There is just something about women’s eyes. The way that you can look down into them and see the arousal. You watch, never losing eye contact, your breath mingling with one another. You watch her eyes squint and then light up when your skin touches hers, the space between your bodies getting smaller. The way the hue hazes over with eagerness and need. The underlining knowledge that she craves it, the roughness, the love, the caring about her, just someone being obsessed with her, even if for those next moments spent together. The furrow in between her pretty eyes when she’s trying to concentrate on listening, the deeper furrow when she’s angry for not being allowed a release, the begging and pleading in the corners of such a beautiful color. A tornado of frustration in the depths of the pupil that send fire to her iris when she’s pinned against the surface below her, the teasing ensues. Her words match the storm you’re staring into, wanting all of the earth shattering pleasure those pretty eyes are about to give you. As her pretty mouth fixes for another vulgar attitude, you see the fireworks on the brim of exploding behind that tornado, her head falling back, eyes squeezed tight, urging the leg shivering to take over her body. Your fingers dance along her body, your mouth cascades her skin as those pretty eyes of hers start to well with the happiest of tears. Picking her head up, you let the sea of waves in her happiness wash over you, never losing eye contact as you use your tongue to clean your mess of a woman with such beautiful eyes.

I could be your mother/ I could be your dream/ I could make it look like it never happened, leave it clean/ Oh I could be your friend/ Or I could be on my back/ I could beg, I could bully/ I could brace you for impact/ Oh I could be counterfeit/ I could be real/ I could be the wound around your neck/ You tell your friends you can heal/ I could be 500 virgins/ I could be 500 whores/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be mad/ I could talk utter bullshit, I could be matter of fact/ Oh I could be broken/ Or I could be whole/ I could be something to fix in your New Years resolution goal/ Oh I could be an angel/ I could be a jerk/ Make a plan to save me, you can choose if you want it to work/ I could be a purity to ruin/ Corrupt for you to restore/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be your dad/ I could be the family that you always wished that you had/ Oh I could be a kiss/ I could be a hit/ Let me know if you ever figure out the difference/ Oh I could be a fact/ I could be a lie/ I could be the truth you search for your whole life but never find/ I could be your bravado/ I could be gone tomorrow/ I could be anything, anything, anything.../

“A dominant man is” A dominant man is observant. He watches, he notices, he takes in the environment. He does this not only to monitor your responses, he does this to keep you safe. In the same way a lead on the dance floor should mostly be looking at couples around them, not on their follower. A dominant man is watching the environment so you can feel safe enough to let go. He is watching you to see what you aren’t saying. He observes. A dominant man is patient. He knows that as much as you might want to open up, it takes some time for your subconscious and your nervous system to catch up. You need to relax, you need to feel safe, and he needs time. To explore, to feel you, to gauge what you like and don’t like, he needs time with your body and your mind and he is patient enough to take it. And he is patient over and over again, not just once but many times, giving you the communication that he is steady and present and he will not leave you to flounder.”  

When you message me and live in another state, you should plan to attend a munch that I am attending in California. I require a face-to-face meeting sooner rather than later. You need to make the trip out to me if you are serious about serving me. There are no guarantees, but a meeting needs to happen sooner rather than later. My rule is not negotiable.  I have the same meeting sooner rather than later requirement for the men who live around me or in the state. The question I am considering is, Do I want to have dinner with you? Do I consider you worthy of my time while enjoying a meal? (Seinfeld: When Elaine was deciding if suitors were sponge-worthy—We all have a thing.)    If you aspire to be my submissive, you will have a job and be able to provide for yourself, a car to transport yourself in, and a home to live in and commute to my home to serve as needed. 

10172025 Thank you again to all who reach out with words of encouragement and shared experience.  I feel the supportiveness and it gives Me another speck of SOURCE which fills Me and carries over to care of My best friend and mother.  Thank you from both of us women.  I never have shared much about the dominant nature of mother, but it is enough to say we are matched well.     For those who are DRAINS on My energy, you know well who you are and your presence is the slow bleed in life.  One could hope it all balances one out in the end, yet I cannot help keep thinking WHATAWASTEOFCELLS. You have the capacity for greatness and yet you allow EGO to rule you and with it come all the rest of the bedfellows, or more commonly known as the 7 sins.  Such a sorrow and I pray you find grace and love in your life.   I am seeking.  Many men have flitted in and out, some sharing more of their self and then life gets in the way, and afterall still I am not served, WE are not served. No live in, no part time, and 'Blast! Nothin but mutton to eat."  lol I continue the search and refine, redefine and realign Myself for the PRESANT.  

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

What I like about being a Bull Sometimes I am asked what I like about being a Bull with a cuckold couple. That is not an easy question to answer, but I’ll try. I’m a dominant person, and always have been. I like being the one in charge. So I naturally tend to find myself at the top of the food chain in every situation. When I’m with a couple there are several elements that appeal to me, which make the relationship more appealing than the traditional boyfriend & girlfriend. First, a married woman is in it for the sex. Her motivations are not unlike ours (men). She is not looking for a relationship (she has one). She is not looking for drama (she wants none). She will not hound you or stalk you or pester you like many single women. With a married woman it’s all about the sex. When you meet with her (or them) there will be little small talk, socializing or wasting time. Sex is on her mind, and it’s everyone's goal. Once her and your sexual cravings are satisfied she will go back home, with or to her husband. It’s perfect for someone like me who enjoys frequent, explosive sex with someone who is only too willing to provide it. So, my first answer is sex, sex and more sex. But there are other sides to it, too. Believe it or not I like helping other couples spice things up. I know Bulls are often painted as selfish, cock-wielding studs that are interested only in themselves, but that’s not usually the case. I, and others like me, enjoy interacting with couples and helping them reignite their flame in the bedroom. Like I mentioned, I am dominant and I enjoy the domination theme. It’s empowering to have a woman offer herself to me, especially when it’s a beautiful married woman who would normally be off-limits to anyone except her husband. Say what you want, but there is something edgy about hitting a pussy that was promised to someone else, especially when the wife is a stone cold fox, and someone you would NEVER suspect of being a submissive slut for another man behind closed doors. Last, I love being dominant over a couple in the husband's presence. There’s something deeply satisfying when I see a husband silently watch me ravage his wife in their marital bed, knowing that he’s getting off on the whole show. Most husbands I know are not submissive. However they do become extremely passive when I assert myself in their presence. Not only does this appeal to me, but I enjoy the wife’s reaction as well. The more passive the husband is the more sexually responsive the wife becomes, and that leads to even better sex. Once you have taken the time to build a good cuckold relationship with the right couple the encounters can become intense, fulfilling and practically addictive. What man would not want that?

Smh at the multitude of bois within 50 miles that approach, engage,  insist they want to meet .. until we set a date and time, then backpedal and postpone or cancel with every excuse in the book .. Sooooo...I'm pretty much at the pt I don't wont cant believe anything anyone idk irl says cyber.   If you are one of the very rare pearls here that does want real-time Ds interactions come meet Me at the munch on Thursday 9 29 at Spins in Peekskill 6:30ish. It's an arcade with a bar in the back. I'm the One with long multicolored hair. .. restaurant upstairs is Fin and Brew if that's easier to goo gle Que sera .. or as history here proves, most likely not We.Shall.See

The everyday sized dick Dicks I remember - A (soon to be) collection of the dicks that have made an impression over the years.Here is one about my most recent boyfriend. Now ex.When we first met he had troubles keeping it up with a condom on. I made him practice and only allowed him to wank with one on until it wasn’t a problem. It would later come in handy as I could easily pour his cum where I pleased.

 In his ass, on his face.His cock was average. I came to enjoy it. Especially for tease and denial and long sessions. Fuck for a bit. Have him pause. Sometimes with a ruined. Or to be honest, most times. And then back at it at my pleasure. He could never make me sore, hence a good size for the everyday, several times a day.He knew that I needed something bigger and hotter from time to time though. And that my previous partners were well better equipped. We once scouted together at a sex club but none was big enough to pique my interest. I felt generous so I allowed a man to use my boyfriend’s mouth and ass though (a side dick to remember).I did really enjoy his obedience. He always needed my permission to orgasm. He did good except from one time when I rode him on a chair. We were in a communal space and I sat on his lap, back towards him. The view of my ass, the excitement from possibly getting ”caught” and me not slowing down made him cum hard and without permission. I think he felt equally ashamed and satisfied. I let it slip. I really wanted to be filled.

I'm hesitant to update my profile. There's a few things that need changed, and a few more that need added. I wonder how long it will take to be approved... If I seemingly ignore you, keep chatting anyway, because I may be unable to respond. Updates: Reiterate that Hubby is a platonic friend, not a kink, sex, or D/s partner Political ideology matters. Drumpf=no, nuh-uh, hell naw Sub/slave skill bonus for repairing fence, organizing online selling Can't meet w/in 6 weeks, don't bother until you are. (Maybe 8 for holidays?) Be realistic!! No, you can't completely escape the Real World by being a slave in my Home. I'm not going to kidnap you and/or lock you in a cage, even if you beg and plead. That's foolish, unrealistic, and would be irresponsible for me to do.  We each have to be accountable to some degree. That's for your protection and mine. (If you don't understand this, ask.) May have The Form™️ online soon. Wish me luck! lol

"life is full of endings that you never know are coming until they already pass"I wrote that quote in high school. Some of us learn and grow and im grateful that many things have been learned. Some answers will never be known for sure from my journey here in this lifetime. A new chapter is starting and perhaps the last chapter . Today i finally got to start moving things to a new home . A home that I feel will be my last but things are never certain and I have learned you have to live in the moment and ride each wave. I feel the shift of energy in the earth but I also know that things must shift so they can heal and balance. My Master Mate and Husband and I have been through many things in these last three years. We have grown and we intend to keep growing together. I have learned about the light and the dark. I have learned about walking paths. I have learned about consequences for actions. I have learned about addiction . I have learned what vanilla mindsets are like and how many of those could just things that are spiritual and misunderstood. I have definitely learned and experienced Dominance and submission through mind body soul spirit and energy. We cant protect people from all pain all we can do is try to guide but some lessons must always be learned by the being. It feels good to write, its been awhile since I sat down and let words flow. There is always new beginnings

I am a little oddly obsessed with my ears. Or rather, with having clean ears. I'm not sure why, it just is. One time I was sitting in a room full of people at a workshop and the ice breaker was what would you bring to a deserted island? As people introduced themselves and answered the question I heard all of these brilliant high brow responses. But all I could think about was there wouldn't be any Q tips on the island and I would definitely need those. Yes, I know, you're not supposed to put those in your ear. C'mon, man, who doesn't? If the answer is you, immediately stop reading this and go away, we cannot be friends.  So yeah, it's Prime Day. Do I want some fancy kitchen gadget? Probably. Did I buy a hair drying curling thing that I will likely only use twice? You know I did. But you know what else? That ear tool with the camera on the end so you can see all that inside business. And holy buckets, one day shipping! So yeah, it came in this evening and I fired that bad boy up to see just how well my Q tipping has done.  First, it takes some getting used to, the view is backwards. Oh, there's an app so you can see the camera's view on your phone. Left is right, up is down, etc. Everything looks HUGE, you will love that. But so does the wax. Mine was not bad, but with my vigilance I was expecting bare floors. Not the case. Don't worry, it wasn't much, and I officially have clean ears now, but sweet baby Jesus I cannot believe how amazing that little tool is. A clean ear keeper's dream. Ten out of ten. Go get one. Don't use it to make other things look bigger.  Is this the weirdest post so far? I'm not sure. 

Ok I tried. I really really tried to go full on vanilla. I turned off everything. I deleted it all. I was serious. As soon as I was done the very next day I sank so far into depression. I really do hate my life. Why do I need this? Why can't I turn it off and be normal? Right now crying because there's not some man telling you what to do? Pathetic. Weak. How can I call myself a strong black woman? I'm pitiful and I can't even look at myself any more.  So why are you back then?  Like I said I'm pitiful. An ex-potential Master reached out that same next day. After 4 or 5 years ...he was like i missed you, still had your number blah blah blah and I bounced back. I do not think he is a Master but a very dark aggressive dominant vanilla man. He knows nothing of limits, protocols, needs and he blows past my limits all the time hence why I didn't submit to him before. I know I know I'm desperate. My kinks is force and control so though I know what he's doing is detrimental I also get off on my wants, and kinks being ignored for his pleasure.. OMG just the thought is making me wet and driving that insane need that's in me... Gawd I hate that feeling... No I love it, crave it but I hate that I have it ... That need that feeling ...if that makes sense. Gawd, I wish I was normal.  So I'm kinda back. The ex-potential and I will meet this Saturday so at least for a week I'm semi normal until I realize he can't be my Master and then I'll sink back into depression and wanting to end... Anyways I really do hate me. I wish there was a way to stop it. To go back to vanilla to be normal to... To... Anything is better than this   I rather seriously just end it all then continue having this need that can't be fulfilled .... I hate that my mental health is based off ownership... I hate that I went from crying and being in the dark to just happy because some guy said he MIGHT own me .. I hate how pathetic I am... I hate how weak I am .. I hate how my mind has all this taboo, gross, dark stuff... I hate me. I hate my life. If there was an easy non painful way for me to end it all I would have done that years ago.    I hate this feeling.  I hate this need.  I hate this craving.  I hate me. 

Normal 0 Yes i put it on my other one too   lol Thought I would put this here.  We all know how long updating your profile takes  LOL  I was passing the time one evening responding to emails (sorry I'm behind, getting better though  lol)  I accidentally pushed the "home" button, which no longer refreshes the page, but shows you profiles of all that are currently online. I started reading other's profiles (Dominant and submissive) and I was surprised to see there are still some lifestyle people on this thing  lol   Below are some phrases here and there and adjusted them to fit me, as well as some of my own words, to explain yet another way what I am looking for. (So thank you fellow CS'ers for the help  lol):    Even though I have a rather in depth profile, I still get asked what I'm looking for.  So hopefully this will work for everyone (yeah yeah yeah I know the wankers aren't going to read this either LOL):    Looking for a slave to train with love and discipline. I'm looking for a partner(s) that is no where near a doormat, like so many on here,  I am way too busy to deal with the game players that seem to keep finding me here. I am looking for someone who can hold their own in the vanilla world during business functions, etc., but also has the ability to enjoy and obey the rules and regs of the D/s lifestyle.    I want my companion slave to be my lover (someone that can and will hold me at night), a friend (someone I can talk to on any level about anything),one I can trust and love back. Go on trips, day or otherwise and have actual fun. (D/s doesn't have to be done just at home ya know?   lol)  And, "no" for all you one handed typers that get mad and say, "You are just looking for a husband" just because I won't "assist" them in their efforts   lol  Trust me, a piece of paper is the LAST thing I'm looking for.  I know they say to never say never but.......NEVER!!!!     LOL   I believe submission is a gift to give not one to take    I mix D/s with everyday vanilla life.  That means I also want a balance in family, friends and the lifestyle.  And I mean our actual families (i.e. mothers, fathers ,brothers, sisters, nephew, nieces, cousins, aunts, uncles;  are all important to me and should be for you as well)  (and "no" this does not mean that we will be shouting in the streets to our family and friends about our personal life, it just means we need to mingle with others just as much as we would if we were just vanilla.  Nothing makes people start nosing around like someone or a couple that only keeps to themselves.  LOL     I usually read history and profile before I respond to someone.  And guys for you that say you don't have kids but want them some day, just move on to the next profile, because that obviously won't be happening here   LOL    Nothing makes me happier than to know that I have a loving, trusting, supportive family/foundation under me (yes, this time I am referring to my "in house" family)  My man/men are happy when I am pleased with them and nothing makes them sadder than knowing that they have displeased me. Me and my guy or guys and that we are all happy and taken care of and that we are living the life that is perfect for what we were all looking for.  Not someone who just says he wants it.  Those kind either try to manipulate you into what they want eventually, or they are here but miserable, making everyone else the same.  Or the worst ones that go with a family just to be with "anyone" and the whole time they are online trying to better deal you  lol    No I wont meet or even DM you after we have a 5 minute conversation in mail if you want to meet me (usually just "hi" back and forth), Take your time. Talk to me.. I think there is a very special person behind this computer screen. If you are a real lifestyle submissive then you should want to take your time and learn as much as you can about the life that you claim you want to walk into, forever. If this isn't your style and you need to move faster, that's awesome, it's just not my way, so we can agree to disagree and you can move on to the next profile. No I don't plan on talking here forever before DM's but I will move on to whatever the next step is, when "I" am ready.  Nothing else will fill the void but what I seek. So don't ask, try to manipulate me, or think you are so special that I will change what I want.  You get to choose who and what you want, I deserve the same respect.                      

Feeling the need to update the profile a bit   Seeking an alpha-type mentor who prefers encouragement over rigid discipline. I love "protector" energy, but I require a partner who knows how to listen—to my body, my energy, and my limits. The Essentials: Patience: I don't rush into sex or scenes just because the vibe is right. Privacy: My home is my sanctuary. I only host once we are in a committed relationship. Respect for Titles: I do not use the term "Master" outside of a committed collar. To me, that title is sacred and signifies a total giving of myself that must be built over time. Dominance vs. Ego: I’m looking for a leader, not an ego-trip. If you’re domineering instead of dominant, we won't be a match.  And dont get me started on my post below where i described 'the dominate male" Geesh...educateyourselfs already...the Google is a powerful tool! Let’s see if our rhythms match before we ever talk about power.

After discussing my challenges with dating or even befriending certain types of people, my friend wants to come up a snappy phrase for me to use that translates into, "Yes, but your complete list of Issues Has to Fit in Large Print on an Index Card or It’s Too Much for Me.” That's much pithier than what I originally said, so ... progress!

Well I have been asked why my Profile says Dominant. I think most all CD Gurls have both Dom and Sub persoanlities. Sometimes a CD Gurl just needs to be able to stand up for herself and yet other times when feeling very fem, likes to flirt and enjoys being sexually chased. Been many times very frustrated dealing with the Dom personality and has considered to become a Switch and taken by a Slave Master. Again, this poses some special issues. Nobody I know wants to impose a death sentence on themselves but to be taken, broken and retrained for servitude as a slave seems very appealing and might solve issues of needing to be always making the decisions. Being a slave means you most likely become an "IT" as owned property and you no longer get to choose anything. Everything is chosen for it by the Owner/Master that it is bound to. As a CD, Domestic Servitude seems very attractive while flitting to and from it's chores, dressed in something fem and cute and of course Sexual Servitude is without saying, a very real life situation as a slave. CD Gurls do not fear this because most all are Bisexual   and retrained as a Gay Slave is only a slight change. One of the main changes is a sexual slave provides sexual satisfaction to it's Master without expecting any of it's own, except the learning to be satisfied that Master is satisfied. A slave might never experience another orgasm for the rest of it's life as a slave? A slave will need to learn Master's protocols for everything and expect punishments when it does not perform to Master's standards. A Master may want to brand His slave. He may want to have slave pierced in many areas of it's body. Many Gay Masters want the slave to wear a permanent metal collar so can never be removed by slave. They also want slave to be nude, rather than clothed. This would be a hurdle a "former CD gurl" would need to overcome or be constanly thinking of fem clothing and how it felt to be wearing these girlie girl garments and enjoying the fabrics and texture of fabrics and array of colors and prints in fem clothing.   And this most likely would cause it's Master distain and cause Master to punish slave more frequently and harshly with whippings, rather than just spankings. From messaging with slaves and former slaves, it finds out it would need to learn to appreciate punishments from Master and thank Master for his guidance. All of these things are perplexing and need to be considered before taking that "One Step Beyond" into a new life style and forever leaving the past behind. Once it enters Master's Dungeon there is no going back or returning home. Some Masters require male slaves to be castrated to make them more mellow and permanently change them so they are even more, less likely to think of escaping in those beginning months of training and breaking slave down to a blank canvas for it's life of servitude. Simply stated, a Submissive is someone who "chooses" how to give pleasure and enjoy receiving pleasure with a more Dominant person. A Slave has NO choices. A Slave does what Master says and goes where Master takes it.  

Looking for an experienced submissive (35+) who can host this weekend. I’m interested in connecting with someone who understands power exchange, communicates well, respaspects boundaries, and values consent and good hygiene. I’m not looking for endless chatting or time-wasters. If you’re mature, reliable, have previous experience, and are genuinely interested, send me a message introducing yourself, including your age, experience level, and availability. If we seem like a good match, we can discuss expectations and see if we’re compatible Interesting in doing pegging and foot worship I'll bring the strap!! dfw area or basically Fort Worth area

I always find female dominatrix BDSM boring.... Well, to be honest, I find female dominatrix BDSM boring. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can see why some people might enjoy it(not me), but it's just not my thing even to talk or suggest. For one, for what I can see and feel very repetitive against males and paranoid .we males especially straight heterosexual are target by other genders as maniacs, perverts and worse not trustable which i always find very offensive even if there are many idiots doesn't mean we all the same but further more is the attitude of others gender want hunting down straight heterosexual males;in my life i never done anything not consensual . It's like everyone is following a predetermined set of rules towards males just to get credentials and reputations , which doesn't leave a lot of room for creativity or spontaneity. Another thing that turns me off is the extreme nature of want to show their supremacy (when, how and with who) . Overall, I think it's important for everyone to figure out what they like and what they don't like in their BDSM experiences. Furthermore, I think that the stigma around male sexuality and the perception of men as potential perpetrators of sexual violence is untrue as not everybody are! As a straight heterosexual male, I feel that I am often unfairly targeted as a potential maniac or pervert, which I find offensive. The idea that there is a generation of women who want to hunt down straight heterosexual males is deeply offended me, especially as I have never engaged in any non-consensual behaviour in my life.

I just saw a profile that consisted of only a BDSM test. When I read it I realized something that is missing and likely is the most important thing. Where is the reference to interest in a real life encounter? Where is any reference relating to an actual time frame of when it might occur? So many of the kink or BDSM tests address interests but do not differentiate between those who want to masturbate to being a rope bunny and those who honestly want to be a rope bunny tomorrow, a week or a month from now. Being interested in being a slave is totally different than being a slave.  Someone who has slave tendencies or wants to be a slave someday is a waste of my time.  While I try to be understanding, I do not want to spend weeks, months, or years getting to know someone who might someday meet me in real life. I do not have any interest in exchanging erotica or demanding pornography.  If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life for a year or two, it does not mean that they are fake.  That is worth repeating, If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life, it does not mean that they are fake.  It does mean that even though our interest may align our timeline does not. I am mentally, emotionally and financially stable and could move a slave into my home anytime.  I can take care of myself and do not need a slave.  Having a slave in my home makes my life more comfortable.  My slave does all of my domestic duties, I provide rituals, structure and you will not be required to work outside my home or office. I do not want to rescue a woman who is in desperate need to leave her fucked up life.  I do not need to complicate my life with a whole lot of drama.  I accept that everyone will come with a certain amount of baggage but I live a happy, peaceful life in paradise. I am looking for a woman who has a desire to fully commit to a life as my slave.  Expereince, age, location is not as important as the desire and ability to meet in real life.  If you are at a point in your life where you are prepared to relocate within a resonable time then we should talk.

Deal or No Deal?Deal breaker is, 'no sense of humour!'I will put up with a lot of stupid shit but thats a hard limit for me lol! This profile is written wiith some tongue in cheek humour, as we spell it in the former UK. Readers need to 'get it' and take that onboard. Put another way Good Sense Of Humour (GSOH) is required to have dealings with me. And as it says on my FL profile, "Please note: taking the piss is only enacted in the context of consensual humiliation, degradation and taking the piss play, I hope that's clear!" Now read on lol..☠️☠️☠️

Laying there enjoying a beautiful blissful morning of awakening in her naked, chain and in her cage. Her body fired up, horny and craving use She asked permission to play, Her phone immediately rings... Hello Slut! His voice sending chills down her body straight to her cunt. Hello Sir So, the girl is horny and wants to play.. Please Sir His orders.. Smack your cunt for me slut.. She did... Again girl... Yes, Sir Sir, now girl... Slide the chain between your legs.... Smack your cunt.. Ohhh my... Sensations flowing through her body, she did it again and again, pleasures rising to the surface.. Would the slut like to cum for me... Yes please, Sir.. she belts out.. Beg for it slut.. she gets louder spanking harder.. please Sir, may this girl please cum for you. Cum Slut... The deliciousness of the orgasms, as she's experiencing things she never has before .. her body, her mind captivated... He allows her to play and tease herself... Allowing her two more orgasms and then she is to stop... Spanking her cunt harder each time, vibration against the chains.. Sir, wants her begging... And she does.. he really gets her going by reminding her that he could have her stop, and put her belt in place... She cries out... Please, no Sir .. Then beg for me slut.. Screaming out... Please Sir, may this girl cum for you???? Yes slut.... Cum for me... The lighting boltz of pleasure, sparks of intensity... Creating a beautiful blissful mess. She cleaned up, went to work and all day long she's been thinking, contemplating the chain. He's given her Alot of food for thought. Tonight, she's worked up... Her curiousities won't stop.. not sure really what to do with her self... She's craving... He knows

So, if you ask have you owned or collared someone.. The answer is quite definitely yes. Currently collared.. little boy..Shyboy. I see him on the weekends and on some occasions on Friday  stay over into Saturday.  I have another potential that I will see what happens with Natasha.   Under consideration for a 24 7 live in domestic slave position.    I do have a few play partners that I do see as submissive on occasion.    Now in the past had a collared masochist.. He was amazing, and I do miss him. I have had a sissy collared. And I have had one who signed a contract with me 6 yrs sgo.ago.. That actually turned out to not work and had to have his collar removed. Due to topping from the bottom, as well as found out he was into illegal activities that are not tolerated.  Plus his attitude showed that he was totally unworthy.     

Not interested in one liners -  Tell me who you are in your everyday life — not just online. If you’re too busy for effort, don’t bother. I’m not here for convenience or endless texting. I’m seeking something real, intentional, and in real life. And the fact that you’re on this site tells me you already understand the balance between kink and vanilla — and that kind of self-awareness matters to me.

November 4, 2024 @ 4:35pm  Hello Everyone,  I understand this profile is a little confusing to some, let me clear things up for you all.I will always be an Domme first, then second I am an Alpha submissive only to Sir Silverback G which is my life partner. I hope this Clears up any confusion. Have a wonderful Morning, Evening, Night.  SG 

i really cooked with this one. kitty gang kitty gang kitty gang ah.     being a mystic of the scriber variety i have learned when i am going through something of a personal nature that is just for me to figure out on my own and hold deep in my heart. but there are often things that i'm going through that the collective is going through. either as fellow femmes be it afab woman gay men with a feminine essence non gendered third gendered with a feminine vibe..all in between...or even a human experience...there are times where i'm going through something.i was going through something..something is coming for me to come through that is a MESSAGE. this is one i know that i'm not alone in..i see it on social media all the time. this is a collective thing for femmes. i hear it when i do leave the house....but this one is more raw for me because i haven't mastered it yet. and it's something i actively work on, prayer, meditation magic to the self, therapy, inner work, inner dialogue, dialoguing with coaches, working with my sisters..practicing carrying wood, chopping water..under the cold as ice water meditating.....running up the stairs rocky style trying to master.....i am better at this now..but the deep raw wound..the deep raw wild unbridled intense all consuming pull..it's still very real for me...and whenever i've been in a romantic relationship or trying to get one that never launches because dating a dark goddess with intuition and a deep psychic awareness of others emotions is a heavy task to sign up for...haha there is no hiding with someone like me and most men can't hang. and even those that want the challenge will often be met past their personal limits and ragequit out quietly or loudly.  this one is harder for me to share because i'm still in the belly of the beast with this. i haven't mastered this yet. i'm much better than i was in my 20s...and each time before i ejected myself from the sauce i got better and better..but there's still so much for me to master..and these feelings..they are so primal it's hard to wrangle or even admit is a thing. but this is definately a collective message i am individually still working on figuring out the solution too that i'm being called to be bold, brave, and as a mystic scriber connect myself to.   the vulnerability has to this point earned me zero dollars, so no bacon yet....but the bacon is in the spiritual emotional mental decorations i have as a solider of love. ai no message with a puffed chest not fake but due to everything i have and will go through that many will never recover from or begin to touch. a puff my chest for knowing the depths of what i have and will face. an earned prowess.   being vulnerable about what’s hard for you and acknowledging the discomfort as part of the mystic path. It’s that raw honesty, mixed with the courage to embrace being “a lot,” that resonates deeply. Mystics often have to sit with their shadows and discomfort, and turning that into glory is part of what makes the journey so transformative. Writing about this, even when it’s difficult, is where the real magic happens. You’re not just owning your strength but also showing others the deep, spiritual work behind it. It’s a brave, warrior-like approach to the mystic path, facing the discomfort head-on to find glory on the other side.   let me call in my sophia encoded soul sister doja cat here. when you play at this level people confuse the outward expression with being troubled and alone...we usually only get this way becauseeeeeeeee we have the outside support including therapy..we only GET to unearth this rawness because we AREN'T alone..don't confuse the heavy topics and unraveling with aimless direction.   "I read it, all the comments sayin', "D, I'm really shooketh" "D, you need to see a therapist, is you lookin'?" Yes, the one I got, they really are the best Now I feel like I can see you bitches is depressed I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest   Look at me, look at me, I'm naked Vulnerability earned me a lot of bacon I put a thong all in my ass and taught you how to shake it I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation Y'all fall into beef but that's another conversation I'm sorry, but we all find it really entertaining 'Cause we all wanna see them slip and fall right on their faces And we all wanna be the one to see the devastation Not be in it, but ain't the bad press good? The disrespect's real, how this Patek look? Pull out the checkbook, now why your neck crooked? I never learn to superstar from a textbook Talkin' 'bout, "She fallin' off, why she get booked?" Man, I been humble, I'm tired of all the deprecation Just let me flex, bruh, just let me pop shit "Why she think she Nicki M? She think she hot shit," hmm I never gave a F, go stir the pot, bitch I got y'all head all in the dirt just like a ostrich Of course, you bitches comparin' Doja to who the hottest" a love and light bitch would do naked to appeal to the male sexuality or the light sexuality. she would be posing provocatively to entice someone to want to fulfill their urges to touch themselves to engage and interact with the sexual energy. they would've touted a good girl sweet aesthetic, a girl next door or a playboy bunny vibe. we're old enough and human enough to know what sex is for a man of any gender that is attracted to a woman be it straight pansexual bisexual whatever. we know what the vibe is....when a man and woman think sex and naked we know.   doja is my tribe she is a wolf she is a devil as she said a demon a yokai like me.   we're bloody when we're naked. we stare at you deep in your soul. if you tussle with us we look you in your eye that's why so many black rapper lilith girls rap that we stare you in the eye when we're fucking because we ain't scared. those eyes maybe white in the back of our sockets but we're doing it because we face the uncomfortableness head on. her body stance isn't leaning to a side or trying to make curves...it isn't trying to be soft or feminine or wild or water....it's at attention it's direct it's commanding it's powerful. her chest isn't hiding her breads it is straight puffing it.   she's bloody because like me we face our uncomfortableness over and over and over again. this is a different type of naked..and if you tussle with a dark goddess of any variety and are blessed to either emotionally mentally spiritually or even hitting the jackpot of love and sexually be naked with her..this is what you get. kudos for the sacred sigil symbology here too sis. love her for that. we're magical girls with foresight.   and yet with all this power.....there's a deep struggle....in this level of nakedness...in how we engage with the complimentary but opposite energetics of men and how they operate and their worlds and how they are made....ad doja is helping me dive into that; if you listen to the song..how does she say look at me? it's not nice, it's not sweet....IT'S DESPERATE IT'S LIKE SOMEONE YELLING CLAWING BEGGING MAD AGGRESSIVE WAILING OVERWHELMING IT'S DIFFERENT LAYERS OF FEELING ALL IN ONE WILD CHAOTIC SECOND. LOOK. AT. M.E LEWKATME LEWK-AT-ME.....   LOOK AT ME   and for the men who aren't sacred away by that passion and want to try and will reach back and will touch and won't ghost, won't dip, won't demonize, won't therapize, won't logic but meet this wild nature creature..how does she respond?   qui

Well this is John no this is February I'm sorry yeah 2022 I haven't put a journal entry in a couple years now I really upset with the collar space people because I continue to write probably two different people everyday just let him know what's going on in my life and let him know that yeah I made this purchase of a house to use for people that have a hard time transitioning and giving them a place to come stay you know I I first ask him if they have a job if they have a car they have transportation otherwise what will you know we'll try to help some people if we can but I expect the people to come and you know make an effort and it doesn't matter to me you know what's your fantasies are a lot of people just want to talk to you and probably talk about their fantasies and get all horny and get off and then you never hear from him for months I'm not into all that people I mean you know I understand your your needs I've been there I've I've probably done the very same thing. There's people out here that have written to that I've never heard back and probably a couple years it shows if they haven't even been online in a couple years they're very cute very young very naive and I'm hoping that they're still alive that didn't get hooked up with a serial killer I mean that happens anyway so I wish people would just tell me to you know go to hell or yeah hey I'm interested in talking to you and hear when can you talk back to me I mean like stuff like that I'm not looking to fulfill your fantasies I'm looking for friendships lasting friendships just like in the real world folks so I'm transgender yeah I'm kind of a little and I'm real so I mean if I don't understand what's going on with covid here my God people yeah I'm all alone I hardly have contact with any of my friends because they're afraid to come outside their houses well I'm safe I I wear my mask I'm inoculated I've done everything I possibly can and yeah it's my freedom to do so so anyway with that said I'm done with this entity so as I always say it's ciao for now  

Podcasts - setting tone and direction & other must listen: english spoken: Diaries of a Domme + Questions Answered, by Chastity Queen Obedient Love Podcast, by Ms. Viola Voltairine Female Led Relationship Podcast, by Marisa Rudder  deutsch/german: Nika Macht! - Das wahre Ahh und Ohh des BDSM, by Anika Tiegs Dominante Grüße, by Lady Penelope Bound-n-Hit, by Lady Julina enjoy & ...obey   

What I am looking for in a new partner? I identify as a Master who lives for consensual TPE M/s dynamics. I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. I am not a switch! I have experience in a lot of BDSM and SM practices and what I do not know I love to learn. Here is some information about me that you may need to know first before you decide if I am the one you wish to serve. If I sound particular and demanding-like, that’s because I kind of am. I don’t need quantity. I desire quality. I want one or two of the good ones; one with a whole actual, entire, functional, language-enabled brain who knows how to use it. One with a bit of passion and integrity about him. Anything worth having is worth the work and effort to make it happen. Building trust takes communication and continuous effort. It is something you must work at to keep and it is also one of the hardest things to regain once lost. That level of complete trust is what makes Master/slave dynamics work. But trust is needed on both sides. The Master has to trust the slave just as much as the slave has to trust the Master. Ok.. so here is what you need to know about Me: My preferred terms of address are MsPebbles or Ma’am. Anything else is not acceptable until you have earned it. I am a married cis woman with one child still living at home. I also have relationships with others. You need to be ok with not being the only person in my life. I am demisexual,demiromantic, and bisexual. I am a non-smoker, a social drinker and a lover of wine. My hard limits are sissification, age play, humiliation, degradation, scat, brat taming, race play, extreme breath play, death fantasy and bull/bbc culture. I will add to the list as I find things that I will not do. What I need in a dynamic is communication, honesty, transparency, respect, loyalty, effort, consistency, and service. Someone who enjoys pain is a plus but so is someone willing to explore new things. I am not just dominant in the bedroom. Having sex with me is not a guarentee for you. So if you think this is going to be just kinky sex with a woman in charge, please move along, we are not looking for the same thing. I am a compassionate, friendly, happy, relatively “normal” human who seeks compassionate, friendly, happy, and relatively normal men or women. What I mean by this is, while I am dominant and seek true power exchange with the right man or woman I also seek cuddles, conversations and yes I am going to say it … INTIMACY. G I know right? As a Dom I like control, A lot of it. Shocking right? I love s-types who are naturally and deeply submissive and who desire to give themselves freely and fully to me on My terms. I am looking for a sub/slave who is willing not just to get down on his knees, but also to be emotionally real with me. This involves communicating clearly about your emotions and who you are and what you need, not necessarily about all that you want. I want to dominate a mind and a soul, not just a body. Enough about me (I know, rare words indeed from a dominant). Let's turn the spotlight on you. What is it that I look for in a potential slave?

STRANGE FRUIT 2026 A PIECE I WROTE ABOUT ALL THE BULLSHIT GOING ON THIS COUNTRY STILL.   SEEMS LIKE WE ARE STILL HUNGRY FOR MORE STRANGE FRUIT . EVEN IN 2026 THE VULTURES HUNGER FOR THE SWEET FLESH SLOW HANGING ON THE VINE . AS THE BIRDS GATHER AND FIGHT FOR THE TASTE OF THE FIRST MORSEL . BUT THIS FRUIT IS NOT AS SWEET AS IT SEEMS BECAUSE UNLIKE TRUE FRUIT THIS DOESNT HAVE THAT SWEET TASTE THEY NORMALLY CRAVE. THIS FRUIT HAS ALWAYS HAS BEEN POISONED FROM THE ROOT TO SOUL I MEAN SOIL , IT GROWS FROM.THE GROUND SOAKED WITH CENTURIES OF BLOOD, PAIN,AND HATE. A BREEDING GROUND WHERE NOTHING THAT IS MEANT TO THRIVE GROWS DESPITE ALL THE BIRDS AND ANIMALS MEANT TO CUT ITS LIFE SHORT AND STUNT ITS GROWTH .THIS FRUIT THAT HAS BEEN BRED THROUGH YEARS, DECADES AND CENTURIES OF BLOOD , HATE, AND DEATH. BUT THIS FRUIT RESILIENT . GROWN UNDER THE PRESSURE OF OPPRESSION AND BEATENED DOWN. EVERYTIME THIS FRUIT BEGINS TO FLOURISH AND STARTS TO GROW TOWARDS THE SUN. THE CROWS START TO GATHER AND THE MOUTHS START TO WET, AS THEY STARE IN RAVENOUS HUNGER AT THE DELICIOUS FRUIT, WITH ITS SWEET NECTAR SLOWLY DRIPPING TO THE GROUND. THIS FRUIT THAT ALL THE CROWS AND CROWDS OBSESSED OVER, DID ANY EVERYTHING TO GET THEIR CLAWS ON. THE MOMENT THEY OBTAINED THIS FORBIDDEN FRUIT THEY CELEBRATED BY RIPPING APART THE FLESH . GOBBLING UP ITS SWEET BUT BITTER FLESH RELISHING IN THE EXCTASY . THIS RARE DELICACY THAT HAS BEEN GROWN AND PICKED FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. EVEN THROUGH THE ROUGHEST OF CONDITIONS FROM EXTREME DROUGHT TO DROWING IN THE JUICES OF THE OTHER FRUIT THAT WAS LEFT HANGING ON THE VINE .YOU CAN FIND THIS FRUIT YEAR ROUND .THIS RARE FRUIT ON THE VINE EVEN IN THE HARSHEST WINTER. STILL HANGS AND SWINGS IN THE BREEZE. THIS BEAUTIFUL RARE FRUIT THAT THEY ALL CRAVE. COMES IN SEVERAL VARIETIES. PICKED AT DIFFERENT STAGES SOME PICKED BEFORE THEY WERE MATURE OTHERS LATER IN THEIR GROWTH CYCLE.THIS FRUIT THAT COMES IN MANY VARIETIES. LIKE A YOUNG 21 YEAR I MEAN DAYS OLD VARIETY CALLED KYLE, OR A 31 AGED VARIETY CALLED DAPHY. FOR THOSE WITH MORE MATURE TASTES THEY ALSO HAD A VARIETY CALLED NURUL. BUT IF THOSE VARIETIES DONT INTEREST YOU I'M SURE If WE TURN OUR HEADS AND WAIT. A BRAND NEW YOUNG FRUIT WILL APPEAR. FRESH ON THE LINE I MEAN VINE. YOU WILL KNOW ITS THIS SPECIAL FRUIT. BY THE GATHERING OF THE CROWS. LISTEN YOU CAN HEAR THEM HUNGRILY CALLING. CAU CAW!

What She Is Looking For I am not looking for a fantasy. I am looking for a life, and I expect that life to be beautiful.  The distinction matters because fantasies are performed and lives are lived, and I have no interest in someone who shows up for the aesthetic and disappears when the reality of sustained devotion asks something difficult of them. Total Power Exchange is not a weekend arrangement or a mood that gets activated under the right conditions. It is the architecture of a shared existence, built deliberately, maintained consistently, and governed entirely by my authority. If that sentence produces hesitation in you, this is not your door to knock on. What I want is a man who presents to the world as my equal, polished and capable and the kind of presence that commands a room, who comes home and exhales completely into my ownership of him. The contrast is not incidental. It is the point. I am drawn to the specific magic of a man who holds genuine power in the world and chooses, with full understanding of what he is surrendering, to place it entirely at my feet. Submission means nothing from someone who had nothing to give. I want the full weight of what you are, handed over without reservation. I require intelligence. Not credentials, though I respect those. The living kind: curiosity, attentiveness, the capacity to learn me with the focused dedication of someone who has decided I am worth studying completely. I want to be known the way Keats knew beauty, as a truth so self-evident it requires no argument, only devotion, only the willingness to stand before it and be completely undone. I will know immediately whether you have paid that quality of attention. I always know. I am a dominant woman in the fullest sense: not a role I perform but a nature I inhabit. I move through the world with the ease of someone who has never needed permission to take up space, and I expect my home to reflect that, my dynamic to reflect that, my partner to reflect that back to me in the quality of his service and the depth of his surrender. The house runs on my standards. I have the Binder, and there is ceremony in you holding it, learning it, and cherishing the standard I have created through my writing. My comfort is the first consideration in every room. There is good linen and good light and the specific luxury of a life curated entirely to my taste, and you will maintain it to that standard because anything less is not a home I recognize. My pleasure is the organizing principle of our shared life, not as imposition but as the natural order of a structure we have both chosen and built together. I want your obsession. Earned, total, focused entirely on me. I think of E.E. Cummings carrying his heart in his hands, given over completely, and I want that, the real version of it, the version that costs something. I want to be the thing your thoughts return to without deciding to, the standard against which you measure every choice, the presence that lives in you so completely that pleasing me stops feeling like a task and starts feeling like breathing. I will wring that out of you, patiently and completely, until there is no daylight left between what you want and what I require. I mark what is mine. Permanently, intentionally, with the quiet pride of a woman who builds things to last. I do not share. I do not negotiate my authority. I do not soften my expectations to make them more comfortable to receive. The contract I offer is real, the terms are mine, and I hold to them with the same precision I expect from you. Emily Dickinson wrote that she dwelt in possibility, a fairer house than prose. That is the quality of interior life I bring to everything, including this, including you, and I expect to be met there by someone whose imagination is equal to mine, whose capacity for devotion is as expansive as what I am offering in return. And what I offer is not small. My world is one of ease and intention, of travel and good rooms and the particular luxury of a life built by a woman who knows exactly what she wants and has never once settled. I will take you to Greece and Japan and every beautiful place I have decided I deserve, and you will move through those places slightly behind me, handling everything that needs handling, leaving me free to inhabit the world at full scale. You will carry my bags, you will shine my boots, you will lay out my clothing and wonder at the softness of my lingerie, you will rub oil upon my skin and marvel aat the way I soak up the golden light at the end of a day we spent together.  In return you will live inside the most extraordinary thing available to a man like you: my full, genuine, sustained attention, chosen with my eyes open, given to someone I have decided is worth knowing completely. My care, when you have earned it, is not small. My world, once I allow you into it fully, is a place that will ruin you for anything less.  I know precisely what I am offering. The question is whether you are worth offering it to, and worth being molded in my carefully crafted image.   

Thank you for reading And thank you for your time I promise not to waste yours I tend to value mine Poetry’s enticing Prose can add a spark Pretty sets of words betray what's in their author’s heart Art is also obfuscated fleeting and opaque Maybe not the ideal way to tell of what I'm made Doubtless you'll have questions those who enjoy this jest Feel free to message me and get them off your chest Keep in mind that I don't know you and that you don't yet own me We owe one another mutual courtesy  

What a maid should bring to Dragao Verde For your first visit, or if you have nowhere to store anything at home, I can probably lend you anything you have not yet acquired on your first visit, though I cannot guarantee it would be a good fit, flattering, comfortable, etc.! From top to bottom; Unless your hair is long enough to be styled in a credibly feminine style, you will want a wig. A long-hair hairpiece can look great, but will be difficult to keep it in good condition if wearing it daily. So I would recommend something that can be more easily maintained. I can offer one as a loan, but it may not be of good quality, the colour that suits you, or in tip-top condition. If all else fails, I will have you wear a snood cap over your hair and/or wig. I have something suitable. If you have pierced ears, small studs or sleeper-type earrings are fine; big dangly hoops are not. Or you can wear clip-on sleepers. If you want your ears (or anywhere else) pierced, I can probably arrange it. If you normally wear spectacles, try to have a pair in a gender-neutral or a feminine style, or wear contact lenses. (Sometimes when you buy a pair of glasses, they will offer an extra pair free, and you could have those in a suitable style.) If you want to show a bust-line, but don't yet have breasts, then you will want silicone breast inserts. No bigger than C cup, ideally. Definitely no bigger than D cup. It is hard to make bigger sizes look realistic. With a bra, and spare, to hold them in place. A chastity device, that you know you can wear for the whole period without pain or problems. My current recommendation for a chastity device is the custom Cherry Keeper. It is made to measure using 3D printing. You can choose the ring-size, cage-style, diameter, length, colour, and even finish.  See recent photos of Jessica's device in my Fet Life photos and read the captions and comments. I recommend an open-cage design, in white, and the minimum size you can get your flaccid penis into, to eliminate any chance of erections or chafing in the best possible finish. An anal plug, again, that you know you can wear for the whole period without pain or problems. Get one and some lube and try it. If too big, get something smaller, if you think you could wear something larger, get a larger one, and so on. A suspender belt and several pairs of black stockings. These are optional, but most girls like to wear them for evening table service. If one or more of your dresses is a pastel colour, not black, bring some in tan or nude. Black court shoes, modest heel, no more than an inch and a half for day wear. A pair of Crocs, or imitations, in a neutral colour, i.e. grey, white, black would be a less expensive alternative, the back stairs are very hard on shoes! Perhaps a second pair for evenings with a ~3 inch heel, but these are optional.  Maid dresses, ideally 2 or 3 to allow for laundry. Plain pastel colour or black, in cotton or polycotton, white collar and cuffs optional. I can loan you one or two dresses in your size, but it is better to have your own. The ideal would be at least two in grey, blue or burgundy or black. But anything similar would be fine. We look for a shared style, but not total regimentation with identical uniforms. There is an informal code on hemlines, above the knee for slave-maids who give sexual service, below the knee for those who don't, bondmaids. So everyone knows where they stand, or kneels. My rule is that the apron should never go below the hemline, but usually be quite close. Several white aprons, full and waist aprons, plain and fancy, ideally 2 plain in each style to allow for laundry. Again, I can loan these, if needed. If you have a fetish French-maid outfits or costume, whether in conventional fabrics, latex, PVC or whatever, bring that too, as you may be able to wear it doing table service at our kinky dinner parties. Makeup kit. Some practice in private beforehand will help. Wash-bag, toothbrush, paste, flannel, etc. (There may be some shampoo and conditioner available for communal use, e.g. left behind by other visitors.) Perhaps a skimpy, shortie nightie. If you have nowhere discreet to leave a uniform, you may store it in a plastic box in our loft until you use it again, though if it is there unopened for more than a couple of years we'll message you and ask if you are coming back. If not, we'll put it into stock.

So, i have been told that if i edit my profile it takes a while for it to come back up so i will add a few things here instead. 1. If you message me and ask for money, you will be blocked and reported.  2. If you message me with "hi" it will not get answered. You are supposed to be an adult, use your words. 3. If you are a married couple, poly or looking for a house maid or an animal...sorry, not interested, please move on. 4. If you do not live in the US, i am sorry, but i will not relocate to another country, i love the one i am in.  5. If you are a submissive and want anything other than friendship, i will not answer you. I am not bi and i am not looking to serve with a sister. I have 5 sisters, i dont want any more lol 6. I will not download multiple chat programs so if i dont have what you have i am sorry (I only have 2) I know, i know, i sound demanding for a sub. ;) Just trying to weed out the fakes and wannabes and those who only want a maid and cook. 

 In shadows cast by candle's glow,   A whispered bond begins to grow,   With chains and ties and soft-spoken word,   A tale of devotion silently heard. She stands, a figure stern and fair,   A queen in her dominion there.   He kneels with eyes of deepened trust,   In her strength, his surrender a must. Her hand, a guide, firm yet kind,   In her will, his peace of mind.   He worships at her altar, so sweet,   Where pain and pleasure often meet. Commands she issues, soft yet clear,   To which he listens, holds dear.   Each task a token of his love,   Under her gaze, he rises above. Chains that bind him set him free,   In her control, she holds his key.   A dance of power, the roles they play,   With concrete walls, he finds his way. With every strike a story told,   Of lessons learned and disipline so bold.   In her hands, his world complete,   At her feet, the journey sweet. So in the quiet of the night,   His thoughts alone he knows his plight.   In the realm where she is queen,   His souls devotion is felt and seen.  

This was writen by one of my slaves, so I though I would post it here. Almost everyone wants something for nothing. Bargains Attract. Finding a good value excites almost everyone, so much so that we rush to share the news. Wanting anything for free is perhaps human nature. However, many of us have had to learn the hard way, again and again, that you get what you pay for. But cheap dishes, you’ll be replacing them sooner rather than later. You reap what you sow, this is also true of human interaction as well, and most people sadly, cannot put the two concepts together and compare them. Why do we think that people should respect us before we respect them? Why do we crave privacy and yet are often quick to invade someone else’s? Why do we think that others will be there for us, even if we aren’t available for them? Being part of the group, a house, friends, family, means being the same in return. It’s not an easy thing to do, in fact it’s rather time consuming.  Although the rewards are indisputable, we still find people who tend to hesitate, and wait, letting other people make the first move. First to commit, first to open their arms, first to open their house, first to be honest, first to be forthright, first to take action, speak their mind, and offer homage, first to everything.  Getting the other people to commit first, reduces our own effort, perhaps making it easier, but even with that said you will still receive according to what you give. He who gives little, receives little. He who risks nothing, gains nothing. Being able to see, comprehend, grock and utilize this principle simplifies our lives, not complicates it as so many would have us believe. Once we Master this principle of living, I believe we never forget it. Loving you has made me want to become a better person, I know I don’t often show it, But I do appreciate everything you do, most of all I appreciate the learning lessons. Thank you so much for having the patience to put up with me.

He pressed his thumb against her lips, while exploring the depths of her arousal, as she begins to gasp, she takes his thumb and begins to suckle it .. taking it deeper as sensations pulse through her body.. Her body craving use, he whispers.. your mine As she takes him in deeper, moans escape.. He works his way down her body, rough kisses with bites her flesh.. Screams , laughter and moans fill the air, as in this moment... She's his play thing. Chained.. no place to go . Her body, his toy.. Her screams.... His satisfaction Slaps, smacks against her skin.. The cold metal finding her sweet spot... The rhythms and motions moving back and forth..As the clink of the metal brings her to a whole new level.. he plays with it.. back and forth, then slaps it... Body thrusting wanting craving as his teeth grab her nipples.. hand slapping that cunt.. over and over.. his hand eases and her body, aches for more. Laying there soaked in her excitement and arousals.   This cold metal, is simply her undoing and she's loving every bit of it.

My heart goes out to those who have lost their lives, and those picking up the pieces after the hurricane in the States. I have friends and family there and their packs of supplies they keep topped up all year are seeing them through. But they are reporting the tragedies of neighbours.  I wish everyone well who is suffering there.  

No, I am not looking for a sugar baby and I will not entertain those intent on wasting time. If your profile is blank, it’s highly unlikely you’ll get a reply.   What I am looking for:   A genuine connectionThose who can communicate and contribute to a conversation (yes, I will take the time to get to know you and expect the same in return)Honesty and transparencySomeone who has a solid sense of herselfEagernessVulnerabilityIntelligence   What I am NOT looking for:   Those with fake profiles (they’re easy to spot)Time wastersThose who misrepresent themselves in their profileThose who lack the ability to communicate (having to ask 20 questions to start or maintain a conversation is painful)Those who think they know everythingJudgmental people (if you don’t like my profile, move along)

I am so disappointed.  Again. Where are the REAL submissives, that will take a Mistress a priority, instead of when Im done work, project. If you know you can't commit to a Mistress a lot, then say so up front or don't bother wasting her time with lies. I want an obedient, submissive male that will obey and serve My pleasures.  I enjoy keeping my slave in bondage, and expect it to know its place even in vanilla. A sub/slave knows its true purpose is to serve, but if you are in a relationship, working full time, or just a computer slave, then say so or leave Me alone.   The lies, the bullshit, the waist of time is so frustrating. Ive given up twice, but come back again hoping to find a real slave searching for a life time Mistress.  I know red flags, but some of you are good liars or just too cowardly to meet.  Now im extra careful. why bother at all.............

I am a Black woman, living in Amerikkka. As the result historical, societal, and universal pressures I've developed a power and strength that intrigues, inspires, and intimidates... some of you feel me before you see me. You know who you are ;-)   So what would I need with protection? Do I need protecting? Certainly a woman with my knowledge and experience can handle things herself, right?   Unequivocally, Black women need protection.    Protect Black women.    Malcolm X said it best, "Black women are the most disrespected, unprotected, and neglected in America". And I'll take it a step further, and say we might even be the most disrespected in the world. Why? Because anti-blackness and WS is one of Americas most prolific exports.    Yet, regardless of the prevailing narrative - Black women are beautiful. WE ARE AMAZING. We deserve respect, recognition, resources, regard, and above all SAFETY AND SECURITY.   And the latter is not possible without protection.   Protect Black women.   Yours Truly,   Thee Blaque Queen Goddess

  But would I talk about my need for your attention? Talk about my desires for naked intimacy, so close and nearly breathless, kisses sweet and juicy, long and short, tongues and fingers intertwining as I try to lick and suck every square inch of your body, the honorarium of your gift and my reception, the stoke of your cock into my opening mouth, hungry to be fed, to be filled, to be possessed by you, penetrated, taken, lust smeared over my uplifted breasts, over my mound, rubbed against my clit, hands pulling it aside with eager participation, equally wanting to lay back, but also to lay you back, concentrate on your growling desire now being swirled with my saliva, my love wetness, stoking you into my mouth, your hips thrusting, your words spoken of being your slut, the one that will get to be used, our passion exalted between us, like a plug into an electrical outlet of my holes....my chant of yes Daddy, yes Daddy...both silent, murmured, coming out loud in my head as I join you on the edge of our orgasm...ride it, babe, ride it...   That's what I would talk about.

Okay, well another one just dropped out of the running lol  When he submitted himself to Me he claimed he retired in May and would be able to serve then.  I said, great, get in touch a month ahead of time.  lol  Well, we did speak once a week for an hour over the course of many weeks simply getting to know one another.   When asked how I wished to be served, I said, don't stress it, just serve Me as you served your previous Mistress of 17 years and I'll taylor you to My liking as we go.  Honestly, any man who has served a woman, knows what to do out of the gate.  The details WILL work out quite simply and speedily once under My control.  After all, do these guys honestly think I'm going to invest time into them with no return?  LOL  Ya'll are playing with Me LOL  I am NOT a fin domme in any sense of the word, however My time energy and aura are priceless and if there is going to be MY involvement their will be ROI now!  LOL So, I did My basic CSpace research which happens with any slave who happens to catch My interest - especially when they have issues and or otherwise raise suspect to Me.  Low and behold I found several other profiles across the US fitting the same descriptors!  When I questioned the self proclaimed slave, he had no idea what I was talking about (go figure lol) and yet the profiles were exact!  lol  Note to all the liars and losers - mix it up a bit or Meta Mama is going to find you out!  LOL Okay, so lady dominants, beware of the cali multi running round seeking a Mistress and due to retire in May.  He gets you interested, feels you out with all the regular promises one makes to very controlling women, then when it doesn't fit his fancy, another Mistress pops in his chat frame and tells you he has been a very naughty boy and is actually being controlled by another and so sorry but he is unavailable...but will let you know if he comes back on the market!   ROFL  Some of you guyz are a riot AND turds! ANY FEMALE DOMINANT WHO WISHES TO CONTACT ME PRIVATELY - I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DISCUSS ANY and ALL TURDS.  I shall not give personal information on the subject obtained, however I will be sharing My experience with said slaves and sharing how to spot them.  REMEMBER:  Text search is your friend.  ******************************************************************** Meanwhile, here on planet earth I continue to hear from and share with some terrific sincere and caring men.  I can only hope that we continue to come to know one another and to share more in the future.  Thank you for being the bright lights you are.  Keep up the good work and keep making those fantasists stand out like the sore thumb they are!  Kissesssss

I'm an ebony goddess currently looking for a sub/cuck to train to serve and worship me. Communication , trust and eagerness to learn, obey and serve are a must! Catch my attention, keep my attention and crave my attention. I will love to make you my personal slave, be under my feet , worship me. Lot of fun and let's explore our kinks together. I love to tease, to train, and to torture. I want my subs undivided time, adoration, attention, energy, and lavish worship. I have zero interest in fulfilling your fantasy. I am a true dominant woman and this is all about me and my pleasure, happiness and gratification; should you manage to enjoy yourself while I am whipping you into shape, or using and abusing you, then that is okay...but never will be of concern to me. I’m in search of a male submissive/cuck who is reliable,  independent, sane, I’d prefer someone who is service oriented as well as having masochistic tendencies   I would prefer someone with some kind of experience 

I'm still in search of a LOCAL domestic to do house cleaning (dusting, bathroom cleaning, laundry, maybe some light cooking, etc.)  I'm also seeking a grunt to help Me clear out some useless stuff in the basement. Not to mention the ongoing search for a local special sub/slave to serve Me and who will learn his place. I have these listed separately because I know that not everyone can handle all that's involved and do it well.  If you can, let Me know. Note: I have a dog in case you have allergy issues. Serious inquiries only.

I get bored easily. I returned to this site a month ago and have found it the same. Boring. No useful Slave to focus his time on Me to drive me. Pity. I see posts on Fetlife and other fetish community sites wondering where all the Mistresses have gone?  Well this one will go from here soon. Why? I am not sated by the man I seek. Tut tut  silly boys not reading what I seek, who push their own needs first and get blocked. My question: where is a submissive or Slave man who can go to dinner and behave well? Can keep his kink needs to himself until I ASK ?  Where he  follows MY Lead and drives me to munches and fetish clubs, where I will whip and cane him?  Meanwhile,  2024 promises to be a rollercoaster ride so time to put on my grip-tight-gloves. Here I go!!!

Many times I get the question about what happens when two tops meet. The concept of two dominant males sharing some sort of intimacy seems contradictory, after all no one conceives a dom without a sub. That is not always the case and I will, like in all my journals speak from experience.  There is a degree of power exchange between Doms and I do not talk about silly posturing and drama. If two dominant males find themselves alone and aware of each other,s preference coue of things will happen. Like I said there are degrees of asserting domination and sometimes one will yield and becomes submissive to the more dominant male.  There are reasons for this behavior, one is the overwhelming realization that amongst equals there is alway a better masks and truly no shame comes from realizing and internalizing that fact. I'm not implying the the more submissive is and will be a sub the rest of their life, no. What I am saying is that recognizing g who is the better man is what defines the boundaries of intimacy.  I have friends that have their fair share of submissives but once in a while they will come to me to serve and be bred. after, back to being a top. But why this behavior? Like I said overwhelmed by.  Dryer male they yearn to serve and be intimate. If a dime submits must be to someone better than them and someone they appreciate both as male and Bull. The other scenario I've experience is that broth being powerful males and bulls there is no submitting.  How then is that encounter? What I have experienced is the act of respectful admiration of each other bodies and rods. Eventually, it will get to self exploration and release by mastication. There is no phisicl contact but the admiration that can only a true bull can bestow on another bull.  It is very intense to have two powerful males together, alone, and horny. Their mutual pheromones make the atmosphere thick and  eventually there’s only one way out, taking matters in our own hands. there is no mystery, two males will do what comes naturally and either occupy their place or remain on top gloriously alone. That's the natural order of things. 

Effort and Results There are at least two parts to a slave's existence.  Effort and results.1. Effort is up to the slave.  At all times the salve must exhibit, even live in, effort.  Always doing the best it can with whatever resources it has, mental or physical, to achieve total involvement in the work assigned it.  This effort goes beyond duty, it is life incarnate for slave.  Nothing in slave's cognition takes priority over effort to please its Owner.2. Results are the province of the slave's Owner.  In fact, results have nothing to do with slave except how the Master may determine.  To judge results is God like.  slave is only related to God through its Owner.  It may well be slave has experienced life without an Owner.  This 'Ronin' state is the worst possible existence a slave can have.  One of the reasons for this is the freedom the slave has when it has an Owner that takes possession of determining the quality of results. As the Bible indicates the only man (person) free of God’s judgement is a slave.  Thus the slave needs to live in gratitude for everything.  This grateful slave state can never be 'assumed,' but, must always be expressed outside slave's brain in every thing it does and says.  Living in gratitude helps slave apply itself to effort at hand.

I'm forced to choose a garish background color, and my favorite color isn't among the options.  How tremendously frustrating.  Anyhow, if you've come so far as to view my profile and read my journal entries (entry, really), I thank you.  Some notes: I'm 46 now (2026) My main profile text is old and I have matured since I wrote it.  I don't want to incur the disabled-profile penalty by changing it.  Please ignore most of it. Men and women have vastly different experiences on these sites.  While I try my best to be understanding of the female firehose-of-idiots experience, I ask that you also be understanding of the male ignored-despite-effort experience, and consider if a polite negative response might be better than no response. I'm a sadistic Dom with a bent for degradation and punishment/pain.  That said, my interests are flexible. That's enough for now.  I think most matchmaking sites are slowly dying, and collarspace is no exception.  Here's hoping for a few more good connections before it breathes its last.

February 20, 2024 I've been speaking with Edgingfun23 for a while on FetLife. He came over for his first visit recently. He told me he was interested in getting a deep enema, and I explained that a deep enema takes time and it might not be necessary. So when he first arrived, as I do with all my guys, I met him in the driveway and we came inside. He was dressed straight from work. Usually guys that come for a visit wear jeans and a t-shirt, very relaxed looking. But edgingfun23 had clearly just come from a day of work. I sat back in my easy chair, looked straight into his eyes and simply said, "well… Strip!" I could tell that he was a bit nervous, but he started stripping his clothing off and putting them in the chair next to where he was standing. I just watched intently as he took off each article of business clothing. When he was naked, I just stared at him for a minute and he stood there wondering what would come next. I got up from my chair and went to the couch and grabbed a pair of wrist restraints. His hands were hanging down to his sides, and not recognizing these were wrist restraints, he did not extend his hands. So I grabbed a hand and pulled it out in front of him, putting the velcro restraint on his wrist. And then I put a restraint on the other wrist. Back to the couch I got a dog collar and put around his neck. I stood behind him and reached around playing with his nipples, groping his cock and balls, and tugging a bit on the dog collar. I told him to come to the bathroom where we were going to clean him out. I briefly explain the difference between a deep enema and a light enema. I told him we would start with a light enema but he would have to tell me when the water he was expelling into the toilet was clear. If it cleared up after a few cycles we would be done, if it didn't we might have to switch to a deeper enema. Apparently never having an enema before, he wasn't sure what to do. I told him to get down on all fours on the bathroom floor. When he was in the doggie position I smeared some Vaseline on my finger and slid it up and down the crack of his ass. I filled a small enema bulb with warm water, put some Vaseline on the tip of the tube, and using two of my fingers spread his ass cheeks so I could insert the tip of the enema bulb into his ass. As I squeezed all the water into his ass he didn't make a sound. I told him to stay in that position as I filled the bulb a second time, inserted it and added more water to his bowels. I smacked his ass and told him that I would leave the room to give him some privacy, and that he should take his time and expel the water. When he was done, he was to flush the toilet and as I heard him flush the toilet I would know it was time to come back in for the next round. I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me. It wasn't too long until I heard the toilet flush. I went back in and he was standing as I filled the enema bulb again. I told him to get back down on all fours. Two more bulbs of warm water filled his bowels before I left him to expel again. He learned quickly because the next time I came in the bathroom he was already on all fours. I think we went through four cycles of rinsing him out when I asked him how the water was. He said it was pretty clear. I think we went through one more cycle. I forgot to tell him on the last cycle to make sure he gets as much water out as possible. When we were done in the bathroom I told him we were going to head upstairs. He had previously told me he might need to work on his cock sucking skills so I thought the best place to do that would be upstairs. Although I knew he was extremely interested in the cow milking machine and the fuck bench, I needed my cock sucked first, so we were starting upstairs. We got upstairs and I briefly showed him all of the toys that I keep in the bedroom. Cock cages, ball weights, paddles and whips, and plenty of anal toys. I passed him a tight fitting cloth hood that has eye holes and a mouth hole. I told him to put it on. At first, as he pulled it over his head, I don't think he realized there were eye holes. I told him to pull it a bit forward that there were eye holes and we wanted to center the mouth hole so my cock had access to his mouth. After he made the adjustment to the hood I told him to climb on the bed on all fours. I wanted to check out his ass. I wanted to start playing with his hole immediately. Instinctively his ass rose into the air as his shoulders went down onto the bed. I think he has been in this position before. I grabbed some lube and squirted it on my finger as I rubbed it across his hole. I slipped my finger back and forth over his ass and then pushed a finger inside. Oh my god, it went in easily. I knew his ass was going to get a lot of play today. This was going to be fun. READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT   WWW.SirKel.top

I'm grateful to Master Dominus11 for permission to reproduce this entry from His journal.  It so nicely summarises everything I feel! slavery is not about suffering - slavery is about service.slavery is not about humiliation - slavery is about humility.slavery is not about pain - slavery is about being present.slavery is not about being used - slavery is about being of use.slavery is not about control - slavery is about letting go.slavery is not about what is done to you - slavery is about what you do for others.slavery is not about abuse - slavery is about acceptance.slavery is not about proving anything - slavery is about being real. slavery is not about contempt - slavery is about respectslavery is not about how you look - slavery is about how much you care. slavery is not about denying yourself - slavery is about being open slavery is not about bondage - slavery is about freeing your spirit. slavery is not about punishment - slavery is about discipline  slavery is not about being unable to escape - slavery is about being committed slavery is not about submission - slavery is about obedience. slavery is not about fear - slavery is about trust. slavery is not about sex - slavery is about love. slavery is not about pleasure - slavery is about happiness.

Alright......look... if I get a DM asking me to go to Google chat OR any other chat program BEFORE we get to know each other a LITTLE bit THAT is NOT going to happen. Much like that "take off your clothes" and/or "what  are you wearing"    Yes I want and NEED to find a Master OR Mistress and YES that this web page has been reckoned to Mos eisley spaceport, and I understand people have been hurt from their interactions. However:   *I* know that *I* am worth it, I'm worth the time AND effort that is required to claim me, this isn't going to be easy and IF it was then wouldn't you be more concerned? Perhaps, JUST perhaps the reason people get those type of people that are NOT "real" is because of the DM's that they receive? Take it for what it is...   SO the pictures of me ARE me.....the  text I wite (with spelling errors) ARE mine. i'm asking for you, to look deeper, take a chance to nuture a relationship with me,THAT is what will form a unbreakable bond, NOT "what are you wearing".....   With Love,   hope     

I want something more then to be just someone's casual side piece. Ideally, I'm looking for someone who likes and wants power exchange, rope/shibari, bomdage, impact and can deal with a sassy brat. Now, when I say sassy brat; what I really mean is I'm sassy and I know how to use my brain. I will call you out and use my brain to work around or get out of things... so be careful what you say.   I want someone who knows what they are looking for or at least has an idea of what they want. Intelligence is a good thing to me and if I can out maneuver you... we're gonna have a problem, cause I will wrap you around my finger. I am a strong indepent woman and it takes someone similar to truly keep me in line.   I identify with many things like rope bunny, submissive, middle, brat, masochist, pet and on the rare occasion slut. I'm sure there is even more, but it would take someone I could truly learn to trust to bring it out in me. I want to explore and find out what I'm capable of, like, want and crave... even if it pushes me outside my confort zone.    I need something real and tangible; someone who can push me in my limits but not take it to far or go to fast. With me it's not always what I say but how my body or mind may react to something. I have a habit of putting things into neat little boxes and putting them in their spot. But I want someone to mess those boces up and make me rethink the way I see things.   If you think this could be you... feel free to message me :).   P.S. I should say I do have an age range. No offense meant... I don't generally play with people over 45 as they tend to remind me of my grandparents and it feels akward/weird for me. I also don't generally play with people under 25 as I tend to end up getting put into a teaching or mentor role and that's not what I am looking for.

Are you carrying heavy loads you wish would go away or that you could move away from them? Galatians 6:2 says we should carry each others burdens. We should come together to exhort and lift one another up. When two or more are gathered in Christ's name, He is with them. He also promises to give you rest when you are weary and burdened. As Christians we are not to use biased judgement or prejudice against another whether they be Christian or not. Christ is working behind the scenes and they very well could be saved even if their life doesn't look like it from your perspective. We should encourage one another to be loving, kind, blameless, and to love God and one another, enemies included. Seek godly wisdom and understanding. Be moved towards allowing Christ to evolve you from the inside out. Let your adorning be more inwards than it is outwards. The Bible is filled with practical truths that help you to show love, act in love, love others, love God, and even forgive and love an enemy. All scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. Please turn to Jesus today, he loves you enough to not leave you where you are. Life is a journey are you allowing him to walk it with you? 

I was recently asked about submission and how it is captured by people. Firstly, submission is part of a person psychological make-up. Someone who seeks to offer themselves to serve others.  However, BDSM submission maybe influenced by that but it is other aspaspects of the lifestyle that develop and deepen this attitude. Firstly, it is about focused attention where other matters are discarded in persuit of this honed idea. Secondly, it has to create an emotional arousal where the good and bad are expressed and where the good gives a real feel good factor. The final part is repeated rituals where things become common place. The way you bow or curtsey, kneel at a gesture but do not make them habits, as they need thought. So for a true submissive it is more than kink or fetish, it is about mental connection and acceptance. 

Secret Room "They met, irregularly, at the secret room and at his apartment in the Haight. She had the feet of a ballerina and the temperament of a harpsichord, and she possessed a certain willingness to be cold." -Lindsay Hill, Sea of Hooks    

Farewell to Autumn - Witkiewicz He penetrated more and more violently the mouth, which now only gave way little by little to the pressure of his lips, his teeth and his tongue. It opened completely, transforming itself into a wet swamp and burning with incredible sensuality, it took gigantic dimensions, it was the only thing really existing. Hela's tongue slipped like a flame out of that slimy, mollucoid mass, touched her lips and tongue, and began to suck, irritating her mouth madly... The pleasure, which flowed through her whole body, seemed already peaking, and despite that it intensified more and more, becoming of an intolerable force, which bordered on pain. The contact of this tongue which seemed conscious of his actions, he felt it everywhere in the spine, in the kidneys, and there, where billions of beings conceived in him rushed towards life, without paying the least attention nor to his great love, neither to the meaning of his existence, nor to any metaphysics. In the darkness of the body, in the swollen glands, at the complicated crossroads of the nervous pathways, everything pressed with elementary force towards a single goal: the only reward of the duped mind was an inhuman pleasure which destroyed it, giving it loneliness. unconsciousness of the moment.

They say you've found somebody new, But that won't stop my loving you.I just can't let you walk away,Forget the love I had for you. Guess I could find somebody, too,But I don't wan't no one but you.How could you leave without regret?Am I that easy to forget? Before you leave be sure you findYou want her (his) love much more than mine.'Cause I'll just say we've never met,If I'm that easy to forget. Before you leave be sure you findYou want her (his) love much more than mine.'Cause I'll just say we've never met,If I'm that easy to forget.If I'm that easy to forget. Jim Reeves .....1964

Move on....  That moment when you think you might be healed enough (do you ever really heal fully?) to maybe move on... To allow yourself the opportunity to connect again.To explore.To smile.To be vulnerable.To trust.To hope.To maybe even, g... fall in love. Instead, missed connections, pushed away strangers, lost opportunities. For what? Oh, what foolish dreams may come. Maybe someday...

Lets talk about self care, skin care and smelling beautiful, sexy for my man  Morning Routine: Cleansing: I start my day with a mild cleanser to freshen up my face. It’s essential to remove any impurities that may have settled overnight. Toning: After cleansing, I use a soothing toner. This helps in balancing the skin's pH and prepares it for the next steps. Moisturizing: A good moisturizer keeps my skin soft and supple throughout the day. Since I have a preference for girly and feminine things, I always opt for moisturizers that have a subtle feminine fragrance. Sunscreen: Living in Texas, it's vital to protect my skin from the sun. I always wear sunscreen with SPF 30 or more. This also helps in preventing premature aging. Evening Routine: Double Cleansing: After a day at the law firm and the occasional weekend beautician work, it’s crucial to get rid of all the makeup, dirt, and sweat. I start with an oil-based cleanser followed by a water-based one. Exfoliation (twice a week): I exfoliate to get rid of dead skin cells. This helps my skin breathe and feel smooth. Toning: Rebalances my skin. Night Cream: I use a night cream that's a bit richer than my day moisturizer. It helps in the skin's rejuvenation process overnight. Eye Cream: To keep those under-eye areas hydrated and reduce the appearance of fine lines. Waxing and Hair Removal: Waxing: Twice a month, I get a full-body wax. It not only removes hair but also exfoliates, leaving the skin smooth. Post-Wax Care: After waxing, I use a soothing aloe vera gel to calm any inflammation. Nair Hair Removal Cream: About a week after waxing, if there's any regrowth, I use Nair to get rid of those pesky hairs. Its fragrance leaves my skin smelling beautiful and feeling silky smooth. Scent Secrets: Sensual Perfumes: I have a collection of perfumes that I adore. Each morning, choosing one is like selecting the right outfit. I enjoy scents that are a mix of floral and musk as they exude femininity and sensua

Master's WritingsFoundations: Commanding vs LeadingI came across a Dominant who appeared to miss understand the difference between leading and commanding. A thing seen too often in the lifestyle, where these two terms become red into one, yet for Dominants they should be viewed as quite different.Command is a singular act at a specific moment in time. A direction given to another to do something and when that thing is done, the moment is over. There is no longevity, no lingering emotion or sense of something larger. Command exists to accomplish a specific thing at a specific moment - nothing more.Leading, on the other hand, is a process that cannot be accomplished in a single moment in time. It is more about a direction than a specific action and as such requires vision of the goal as well as awareness of the individual. It involves motivating, developing and inspiring people into action. Leading requires both the skill to communicate and the presence of a leader to identify the goal and describe the path how to get there.When command and leading become interchangeable, they typically devolve into commands strung together and submissives running to accomplish tasks, under the pretense of leading. Even though sometimes these tasks have legitimate value in the development of a submissive, in the larger scope, they miss the mark because what gets communicated to the submissive typically lacks the values, principles, and/or underlying lessons that connect the submissive to the dominant or to the lessons to be learned.So is one better than another? They are the equivalent of a scene compared to a dynamic. Commands are adequate for a single scene, yet commands will never provide the foundation for a power-imbalanced dynamic. For this, Dominants must lead and lead with vision of what they intend to create, clarity of roles, a sense of purpose about why even the little things matter and the commitment to live path they set forth, committing to the same level of quality they expect from others.

Getting back on track - had a terrible cough for a few days. Having ginger, honey and lemons and rest lots of rest. During my delerium (due to a possible flu) during some unrestful nights I had thoose dreams again. Me with two sain, sound and working professional men. The dream starts off pretty normal, a meet up in a coffee shop to understand what all parties want and don't want. Me over keen. I must admit my dream fast forwards a little bit which means in reality there will be some challenges, but somehow my mind it forwards to me in bed with two sound men and this clarifys, I would want them to enjoy being with me but if they felt flexible with each other I would clearly be happy to know the relationship as no limits. I honestly recall my dream there were a few positions and a few rotations of who does what where but I recall being very happy. Then I woke up and had to make some more ginger and lemon tea but at least I know my immune system is kicking in :)

As for presenting herself for a full inspection or examination there are a couple of ways this can be done. She has undergone inspections in the past as most Doms like to fully inspect her at the beginning of their ownership.Her present Dom carried out a full examination of her not so long ago.Normally I clear the sitting room table.I have a duvet which fits the table perfectly and a pillow making it comfortable for her to lay on for a long period.I dont know how long you take to conduct such an inspection but I know by experience they can take over an hour to completeShe is then placed on the table with her arms secured above her head. A chain attached from the top table legs to the cuffs on her wrists keep her secure.The same for her legs although I normally use a leg spreader for her feet so she is then firmly secured in a spread eagle position.A small cable around her knees attached to the lower table legs assure her legs are kept wide apart throughout the inspection.This allows full access to her open vagina.Inspections or examinations can be very erotic for the inspector although can be humiliating for her.It is certainly humiliating for me, the husband having his wife inspected in such a manor. Sometimes the husband is allowed to stay and assist other times the husband is sent out of the room so the examination can be carried out in private..Please let me know your preference.Normally the head is examined first, the hair ears and mouth. Her last examiner inserted three fingers in her mouth and made her suck on them for a few minutes to test the power of her suck.Then of course the neck and arms and underarms which is free from hair as it is removed regularly.Moving on down to her breasts and nipples. no piercings or tattoos, her stomach which you will find is flat. then her quite long slim legs and thighs and of course her vagina which is very attractive as well as being soft and smooth. On inserting you fingers you will find her vagina is very tight despite being well used and she becomes very wet very easily. Masturbating her with your fingers for just a few minutes will get her extremely wet.There is a speculum available if you want to look deep inside her.She can be untied and on her knees for an anal inspection.She can of course be inspected in the standing up position if preferred.Again please let me know your preference.

A young woman asked me a question about posturing I will share my view on that subject as there is so much of it on lifestyle sites and I feel most of it is pure bull shit. There was a time, when, how lifestyle folks presented themselves in public and in private, told who they were. It was far more subtle. Subs and slaves did not announce who they were and dominants did not have to call themselves owners or dominants or masters because both sides looked for those tell tale signs and vice versa. You could walk into a room filled with vanilla folks and pick out who was in command and who was subservient and who the clueless were. A submissive would make less eye contact in public seem more shy, talk less or only when spoken to. More dominant types were bolder, asked the questions, initiated the conversations and so on. You knew by their "presence" who they were, not by their words or self given titles. Lifestyle folks looked for such things and recognized each other, were drawn to each other. The advent of the internet and sites like this and others, produced a bunch of wannabe owners and dominants who posture and preen and say "I am" when they are not. You will see a 20 something male, working at McDonald's and living in a walk up rental, calling himself Master and demanding that women bow to him. He has an old beater car, no savings, no future, he has not even began to master his own life. Now he claims he can be master of a sub or slave. These are the people who demand a sub "posture" for him and demand the sub call him sir or master. It's his ego speaking, not his dominance or mastery of anything. We married in the early 70's as a natural dominant and natural submissive but those words were never spoken for at least 20 years. Married in 71 but it took me until 86 to even begin to master my life. In 86 I walked away from a high paying factory job and created my first major business, an auction house. That began a lifetime of building businesses, getting them up to profitability and then selling them. Even then, I never once called myself a Master. We opened the marriage to others from time to time and it was always her seeking a dominant type and myself seeking a submissive type. We could do so because we were secure in who we were, who we each belonged to. I played with a submissive on and off for few years who called me "Mister B" but she always made it a joke, a way of poking fun at me. She would say it with emphasis on the Mister and then she would laugh at me. She was secure in who she was and knew that I was as well. Among the very best of submissives that I ever played with in those years, was a woman who was in upper management of a major corporation. At work they called her the dragon lady and people were actually afraid of her because she could make or break a career. She called me "Donkey" from the movie Shrek and she claimed she was my dragon. She served me with her entire being. It is not about posture or titles, it is about who we are and how we are, that makes us owners or dominants, subs or slaves. Don't buy into the hype, the hype is bull shit. Look at who they are, what they have accomplished. Look at how they help those around themselves. In the words of Mohamed Ali, an ultimate Master, "look at how they treat those who can not benefit them in any way". If they treat the waiter poorly, run. A true master protects, builds up those around themselves, looks to help the less fortunate, looks to promote others to be all they can be and does not say worship me. A master is. They are not someone who calls themselves as such. A sub or slave, looks for such people and wants to help them by combining their power with the power of the owner or dominant or master. I seek to serve nature as her sub/slave. She is far greater than myself, a worthy mistress with no ego. By doing so, I gain as well. I seek those who feel that is something worthy of doing and want to add their power to my own. I say openly that by myself, I am not enough, that I need your power added to my own. Even then, I fully understand that we will not be enough but we can make some small difference. If you feel a need to serve such a man, I would humbly welcome your support. Then, in the future and only if you feel that I have proven to you, that I am worthy to be called your owner or dominant or master, I will be thankful and we will continue the work together.  

My best friend has self terminated on Jan 26.I have always been one to put my best face forward, but I am not sure how I am going to be able to do that in the days to come. I had no warning, and I cannot understand why he has not reached out to me. To talk to me. I feel that if he had reached out to me I'd have talked him back from the ledge. I was supposed to buy him a beer when I saw him next, and him to buy me one in return. We were supposed to talk about the old days. Is this what growing old is?  To take all thsoe who you love, and those who love you in return? If so, I do not want to grow any older. I am done. I'd rather sleep a thousand years and hope that the passage of time deadens the pain in my heart. I am in my 40's and should not feel this pain. I should not be feeling this pain. I feel it is too soon. Family.... I get it.... but my brothers in arms.... It's too soon. 

I'm sorry to my lover.I'm sorry I'm so unrefined;to leave all the things we hadbehind. No one has a smileFor a ship sinking a mile,Or a satellite gone astray.So I say.I sow sorries.Across these distances;I should have stayed in yourembraces, liberating me. I know you wantedto save me and hold me -wash my sins away.But I run away.So you say.No one can be our witness,No one can understand us.And when we misunderstandeach other we become pointless.I am not saying I know why.I am not sayingI can justify or rectify a goodbye.But I already miss you andthese sorries are bearing a cost.I am so lost without you,And feel my sorries are pointless, too.-dirtydarling

COVID hit our community hard, and I have a few slave friends that lost their Masters.With no continuity plan in place, it is difficult for a slave. This, the House, helps address that. And it is a passion project for Myself. A way of giving back to a community that has altered My life for the better. On a personal egoic level, of course it is nice to be the Master of the House. But, it also is structured to survive My own passing and continue to care for its members. It is pan sexual in nature and can be grouped in different houses, gay, lesbian, trans, etc. as well as professional, career, orientation. There are a lot of moving parts to this. .... That said, the question is does one wish to be part of something bigger than itself. And to be owned and serve.you will be required to contribute to the home by being able to support yourself. It is a self sustaining operation.As a Master, My responsibility is to provide structure and an opportunity for the slave to serve and to be owned. Its primary service is to the Master, then its brothers and sisters, and then the House as a whole.That is what this Master offers all who come.

At last, another journal entry! Let's get started with my usual declaration: I am subMeghan. Right now, I am naked wearing only my glasses and my collar... And now on to today's journal entry... Apparently, my Dom has decided to introduce me to "ahegao".  Ahegao, for those, like me, who don't know, is an anime term for a specific type of face for a woman to make during sex.  The classic ahegao face is where you cross your eyes and roll them back, all the while sticking out your tongue.  My desciption does not do it justice.  Go google ahegao and you'll get a better idea of what it's all about. Apparently its a thing...  lol Making a ahegao face is harder than it looks, especially during sex.  However, my Dom wants me to do it, so I am going to do it.  My Dom recently placed a full sized mirror on the wall next to the computer.  Originally he did this so that I could see myself sitting here naked in front of the computer.  Now I get to use it to practice my ahegao face too. One thing I learned is that is is very difficult to stick your tongue and keep it still. I also realized that I can't see myself in the mirror very well when I try roll my eyes.  My Dom saiys: "The more stupid you look, the better you're doing it."  It seems I have a way to go... By now I know what my Dom wants: My Dom wants you all to visualize me just sitting here making ahegao faces.  So I am... That's all for now. subMeghan

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

The Weight of Three Minutes : End "Unzip my skirt," I ordered, my voice rougher now, the command firm. "Slowly." His hands emerged from behind his back with visible reluctance, as though the loss of that self-imposed restraint felt like a diminishment. He found the zipper at my hip with trembling fingers and drew it down with excruciating care, the teeth separating inch by inch, the fabric parting to reveal what I wore beneath, thigh-high stockings in sheer black, the lace tops pressing into my skin, and between them, nothing but my own arousal, glistening and undeniable. I let the skirt fall, stepping out of it with deliberate grace, and settled back against the chair with my legs parted just enough to display everything he was forbidden to touch. I watched his gaze track down my body, watched the moment he registered my wetness, the visible evidence of what his submission had done to me. "Look at what you can't have," I taunted, and heard the cruelty in my own voice, the deliberate sharpening of his hunger. "You over steeped my tea. You don't get to taste this." He made a sound: helpless, desperate, and I saw his hands clench at his sides, the struggle for control visible in every line of his body. His arousal was unmistakable now, straining against the constraint of his clothing, and I let my gaze linger there deliberately, acknowledging what I was denying him even as I refused to relieve it. I held his eyes for a long moment, letting him feel the weight of my decision, the absolute nature of my control. Then I reached forward and caught his hair in my hand, gripping tight enough to direct him, to control every movement. "You over steeped the tea," I repeated, my voice dropping to something almost gentle, almost tender in its cruelty. "So you're going to steep yourself in me." I pulled him forward without ceremony, pressing his face between my thighs with deliberate force. He made a sound of surprise, gratitude, desperate relief, and then I felt it, the hot wet pressure of his tongue finding me, eager and unskilled in his hunger, lapping at me with the desperate thoroughness of someone who knew this was his only permitted release. I held him there with my grip in his hair, setting the rhythm, controlling the pressure, using his mouth exactly as I needed. I gasped, my own arousal cresting faster than I had expected, sharpened by the power of holding him, directing him, denying him everything but this service. "Don't you dare stop too soon. I'll make you regret it." He redoubled his efforts, his tongue finding my clit with desperate precision, lapping and circling with the frantic energy of someone who knew his pleasure depended entirely on mine. I felt the heat building, the tight coil of release gathering at my core, and I rode his face harder, grinding against his mouth with abandon, using him exactly as I had promised. The orgasm hit me suddenly, violent and consuming, my body arching as I cried out, my grip in his hair tightening painfully. I held him there through it, not allowing him to retreat, forcing him to feel every pulse, every aftershock, to understand completely that he had served his purpose. My chest heaved, my breath coming in ragged gasps, and I let my head fall back against the chair, savoring the weight of satisfaction the ruined tea had failed to provide. I held him there a moment longer than necessary, feeling the wet heat of his face against my thigh, the subtle tremor in his shoulders as he waited for my permission to move. Then I released my grip on his hair, letting my hand fall to rest on the arm of the chair, and I looked down at him with the lazy satisfaction of someone who had taken exactly what she wanted. "Better," I murmured, the assessment carrying the weight of both praise and dismissal. "At least you can follow some instructions." He brings what I need without being asked, which is the only acceptable way to bring anything in this house. Cool water, a warm cloth, everything arranged with the quiet efficiency of a man who has understood that the aftermath of my pleasure is as sacred as the pleasure itself and deserves the same quality of attention. He assists me back into my clothing with careful hands, smoothing fabric, fastening what needs fastening, restoring the precise and elegant exterior that the world sees when it looks at me. When I am dressed he steps back and kneels without being told. "Devotional," I say, and hand him The Binder, observing him as he flips to the correct page. "Then lunch." He bows his head, and begins reciting from the large book. "She is the standard and the destination. What I give is never enough until she glows. I serve the aftermath as I serve the moment. I am most fully myself at the bottom of her world. This is my honor. This is my purpose. This is my place." He rises, bows one last time, moves to the kitchen, and begins preparing lunch as I stretch out in the sun on a love seat with my book in hand, feeling like a cat that caught the cream. (Finis/End)

If you found a normally locked door unlocked, wouldn't you worry?  I went away for the long weekend and came back last night after dark. Unloading the car, putting things away, blah blah. I stopped and looked at the kitchen door. Unlocked. I lock every door when coming in out of habit. Unlocked. I start looking around, checking closets, go downstairs, check that door, the windows. Nothing. Nothing looks missing. Eventually I head upstairs, with a kitchen knife. Okay, with two kitchen knives because what if the person waiting to murder me knocks the first one out of my hand? Secret knife in my hoodie pouch.  Now, you're probably saying but you have a dog, she will attack. I would think so, too. What she did was walk upstairs and go straight to her bed. The weekend wore her out. I was on my own. You might also think that's a good sign if she doesn't hear or smell anything unusual. She also has walked right by french fries and never noticed. Let's not count on her awareness to save the day. Back to me. Back when I was paranoid I bought a, what are those things called, the zapper thing, because I don't know how to use a gun and I would probably shoot a hole into my closet and ruin several of my favorite dresses. I went to get that to continue my search and it was dead. Why would I keep it charged? Indeed. Kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife it is. Every closet, peeled back the shower curtain, looked under every bed. Checked my jewelry. All fine. And then I closed and locked the bedroom door and wound a belt around the handles and slept with the tv on.  What about the kitchen door? All I can think is I missed relocking it the last time I went out. You better believe I won't be doing that again any time soon. The kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife are still on the nightstand. 

What being a prey means for me Finding someone who will grow with me and pursue me always. Someone who enjoys the chase. Someone who will look for ways to outsmart me and capture me. Someone who will put in the effort to get me. Someone who craves me! Play wrestling, biting randomly and many other aspaspects appeal to me in many ways even though it's much newer than the other parts of me it is still there.

this is my dream This is not a fantasy. This is the ache beneath my ribs— the lullaby I’ve hummed to the stars since I first learned to wait. I have waited with my heart open like soft hands, through silence, through stalling, through the almosts that never quite stayed. I dream of a man who is not just Daddy in name, but Daddy in soul— the kind who meets me at the door with arms that feel like Sunday morning. Where I kneel, not in performance, but in reverence— because I know I am held. Because I know I am safe. I want to kiss his feet every day— on the good days, with laughter between us, on the sad days, when the world is heavy, on the angry days, when we tremble but choose not to run. Not out of duty, but devotion. I will pray over him. Not because he needs saving— but because I need to witness his peace, his purpose, his path made light. Because loving him is my quiet altar. I don’t want a scene. I want a sanctuary. I want someone who learns my rhythm and holds my chaos like something holy. To be kissed on the forehead because I am more than pretty— I am precious. To be told "good girl" in a voice that knows I am doing my best, not just being obedient. To not have to explain why I cry after sweetness, why soft love undoes me, why I tremble when someone finally stays. I’m not waiting to be played with. I’m waiting to be kept.

He was there when i was brokenHe was there when the tears shreddedHe was there when my meds wasnt workingHe was there walking by my side protecting meHe was there to pick up the pieces when my family threw me to the wolvesHe was there for me when i felt aloneHe was there to pick up the phone when i needed to talkHe was there for me when i had a mental snap due to my medical problemsHe was there for me through thick and thinHe was there tp correct me when i messed upHe was there and has been for going on 11 yearsIt all started by a simple friend requestHe was there for my failures and successesCan you say that about your Master? If not good you deserve itMy Master is my saver im still breathing because of him thank you Master i respect you and thank you for being there for me and allowing me to walk by you now its my turn to return it if you need me im one phone call away just a text away im here for you

 A collar isn’t just a symbol… it’s a question What does your collar mean to you? Is it ownership, trust, devotion, identity… or something else entirely? For some, it’s a sacred vow. For others, it’s a promise to themselves — a reminder of who they are when they give themselves over.   I want to hear your thoughts. When you see or wear a collar, what stirs in your heart? Is it pride? Submission? Comfort? Or maybe a little fear that makes you more alive?   Let’s open this dialogue. Share your experience. 

My thoughts about FLR's I wrote this a few years ago but I feel it’s still relevant… enjoy!—————————-So much said and discussed regarding FLR's. Some argue that it is not based in kink while others offer that it actually has its roots there. I personally believe that it can only roughly be defined… because ultimately… it is whatever the two consenting adults agree on creating together. I will however take a moment to describe what I have imagined a Female led relationship to be. Let's begin by exploring some contrasts with what is... What is a Male led relationship? Is it kinky by definition? I would imagine it to be the classic default idea of a bread winning husband and a wife who takes on more of the domestic duties. While kink really isn't involved in defining it… the assumption might be that the man's sexual needs get met with priority while hers are not. He is above criticism but she is not? Mix in our cultures unfortunate dance with masculine toxicity and I see why more and more Women are just plain fed up with the traditional relationship model. The goal to achieve equality often ends up seeming a pipe dream. When I imagine a FLR i begin by flipping the script on the classic model.So perhaps She's the bread winner now…? and Her desires take priority?Regardless of income comparisons, the chores still need doing in the house so I naturally see the male stepping up and taking on the domestic roles before and after work. And much like how a male expects to be "served" as the head of house, I see the Female instead getting to make Her needs, comfort and well being the first priority. But rather than asking for beer and sandwiches during a football game… I would imagine a Woman's requests to be more… well… feminine in nature. Intimacy building, sensual, communicative, nurturing and based more in the areas important to Her such as personal, domestic and emotional fulfillment. Ahhh but macho men don't go there right? lol Perhaps this is why D/s is so much more commonly associated with the idea of a Female Led Relationship…? using Femdom to establish Her new authority and to lay the foundations of the power dynamics within the relationship. YES, many men are clueless when it comes to being more balanced, more self aware, more selfless and more supportive of the Goddess in their lives. They grew up with the Patriarchy programming and only through months or even years of self introspection, re-education and re-balancing will they at last come to understand and access the Authentic expression of the Divine Masculine within them. It is so worth it but why oh why so rare in this day and age? You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink is the saying that comes to mind when I imagine a vanilla version of a FLR. Perhaps D/s IS the most effective accelerant to what would be an otherwise painfully slow conversion process full of power struggles? One element of kink that is definitely penetrating into more of the vanilla ranks is of course male chastity. This idea of harnessing the power of an otherwise out of control fire hose for bettering both himself and your intimate relationship is not surprising to see rise in popularity. Ensnared by his own kinky imagination, the chastity offers both initial enticement for him but also a far more tangible tool of enforcement for Her. This leverage She gains can then be used to establish a full and new domestic life balance between the two… while he begins to understand and witness the positive effect his attention and efforts to please have upon Her, Her beauty, their connection and his own personal awakening. Now add in more and more kinks… BDSM, Cuckolding, Hotwife etc and to me you are just adding more toppings at the salad bar. The foundation of the FLR is laid out simply as the salad and the dressing… She is on top, she is leading the relationship direction and he is supporting Her efforts… hopefully quite willingly. If not then perhaps some croutons and deviled eggs are necessary as well? Maybe both enjoy a full on power dynamic 24/7 and act accordingly? The sky is the limit after that. So yes, in my humble opinion… whatever they both create it to be… from the salad dressing on, is what I imagine a FLR to ultimately be. Thoughts?

Goddess Tabitha has been in New York all week and will be returning home on Monday afternoon. We facetime nightly for progress reports on my task list, updates on my daily chores and some cyberplay. She bought a new toy. It is an eight pad tens unit to start electric play with me when she gets home. We had a standard battery operated four channel but it finally gave out after a decade of use. The onlytime in thirteen years I have literally screamed and begged for mercy is when she put a electrode pad on the ball of each foot and the other one on each ankle. She set it to starburst and turned it to maximum strength. The cramping in my feet was beyond description and she left me that way for over 30 minutes. All because I had mentioned after being in heels all day that my feet hurt. I am NEVER allowed to complain about pain when my pain, or in this case, the shoes I was wearing were at her direction. Don't get me wrong, a tens untit can be very comfortable and soothing if used at milder settings, but if it is used for punishment it can be absolute hell. We will see how loving or not Goddess Tabitha is on Monday night.

  I'm the girl you've been thinking aboutThe one thing you can't live withoutYeah, I'm the girl you've been waiting forI'll have you down on your kneesI'll have you begging for moreYou probably thought I wouldn't get this farYou thought I'd end up in the back of a carYou probably thought that I'd never escapeI'd be a rat in a cage, I'd be a slave to this placeYou don't know how hard I fought to surviveWaking up alone when I was left to dieYou don't know about this life I've livedAll these roads I've walkedAll these tears I've bled So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for I'm the one that you need and fearNow that you're hooked, it's all becoming clearThat all your judgments that you placed on meWas a reflection of discoverySo maybe next time when you cast your stonesFrom the shadows of the dark unknownYou will crawl up from your hiding placeTake a look in the mirrorSee the truth in your face So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for Oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me, you want me, you need me! I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for