On collarspace today someone messaged me then blocked me so I couldn't reply. I deleted the email and now I wish I hadn't. Basically the person was bitching because of my stated standards on my profile. Three sentences, grammar and punctuation or I will block and delete the email. The person thought they'd be making this fabulous point by pointing out that collarspace has the wierd filter that zaps punctuation and replaces some words. Except I already know about that and it isn't something I block for. I was accused of assuming things that I don't assume, but the person, rather than asking, didn't find out the truth of the matter and rather assumed about me instead. There was more to the email, but it is always irritating when someone makes their own assumptions then accuses me of making assumptions about others. I could update my profile to explain that I know about the filter issues, but anyone coherent and eloquent enough to know about and ask about it has already earned their way into my good graces. And anyone who assumes THOSE are the punctuation and grammar issues that I'm talking about isn't someone I'm interested in anyway. I'm not worried about perfect punctuation, spelling, or grammar. As my profile says, "All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked." Maybe I can make that clearer, and maybe I will, but the person who thought they were calling me out but didn't have the courage to see what I might reply got under my skin. That kind of cowardice masquerading as bravado is just bullshit. ~Me

Y España es la mejor ¡España es la mejor! (¡Olé!)   [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEF4NCIfbR8[/youtube]   Off topic with this but thank you Spain, fair play and well done they were better when things got real. Plus I much rather you than them, justice was finally served.    Still after the revival of the battle of Waterloo we had yesterday this was quite boring. Probably the worst final since the 1990 one between a part of Germany and one of their reserve teams in the South...   As for me I hope our supreme leader will rise again with a brand new regime in the next years    [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmkJk10vMzA[/youtube]   [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv0wm2rAlDU[/youtube]   It was overall fun and quite funny to follow. Hope most of you who followed it enjoyed it as much as I did.

First Newsletter from Tawsingham (and Dragao Verde) websites, Spring 2023   The websites themselves are still under construction, and will be launched soon.   If you want to keep in touch, sign up for news at our new website   Copy of the broadcast below:   Olá! Welcome to the first ever news from the Tawsingham Network, Spring 2023.   What we’ve done since Summer   Slideshow of photos to illustrate the words!    Click on the title, and an explanation of what you’re seeing will appear.   I now have full control of my publishing and royalties, again. I published Guide for New Maids] and Pretty Maids All in a Row.   Both worthwhile purchases, particularly if you may come here as a maid.   We’ve many more new titles, but we will wait until we have the website up and running.   Publishing is vital, to add much-needed extra income.   Moreover royalties will help fund the project, as part of my plans to ensure Tawsingham and Dragão Verde will carry on, even after I am gone.   It would be a shame, with all the work put in, from all involved, if these communities die with me!   Books are useful to attract interest, and recruit volunteers online, or in person, too. Kathi has set up IT facilities with a huge, robust, shared hard disc, regular backups, itself backed up. I’ve often taken out my girls Jessica, Kathi Jessica, Kathi and myself in Tomar. It’s vital to me and to them that they go out with me, to show I’m proud of them, not hiding them from the world as ‘my guilty secret’. I’ve laid hundreds of donated wall and floor tiles, in the maids’ bathroom/utility room! See slideshow! I’m nearly ready to put in the sanitary-ware, taps, etc. Kathi has installed a secure, fast server, with open-source operating system, connected to the national fibre-optic network, with WiFi and, potentially, wired connection to our computers. I’ve installed a tiled, wooden work surface and open shelving for non-perishable goods in the maids’ kitchen, so all Kathi uses to cook with, is on open display, easily accessible. I had her put everything she needed, in the way she wanted, then built shelves at a depth and spacing to match, to give a compact, ordered display. See slideshow! We’ve had several successful dinner parties with both scene and vanilla guests, more are planned. We’ve also welcomed other scene friends, a local scene couple, and Kathi’s cycling friends. I’ve installed a tiled work surface for crockery and cookware awaiting washing-up, with shelves above for all the crockery, bowls, mugs, tea and coffee, etc. in the scullery.   I’ve done a lot of wall tiling in the kitchen and scullery too, put in a marble shelf for washing-up liquid, scourers, and other possibly we things, and a rail to hang tea-towels to dry.   All on the same basis, designing shelves to fit the need. See slideshow!   I’ve also acquired more new-to-us crockery and cutlery, added to what we had, and will use short-term.   I put lots aside too, for when we equip the gentry kitchen, as well. Kathi went to a Womens’ Munch in Lisbon, we both went to an all-night scene Xmas party there, slept before and afterwards in my little van. We now have a place to stay next time.   We both visited good friends where we’d done pony-play. We’ll stay in touch.   Then we drove to The BDSM Villa near Porto for their Xmas party, and slept in their dungeon afterwards, a four- hour drive back.  See TheBDSMVilla Xmas party pictures on FetLife! We went back to The BDSM Villa for a big formal dinner and all-night party there in the New Year, by train. It took five hours. We’ll use the express next time, cut it to four hours.  Going to scene events was a deliberate decision to get out, meet people who go out too. We now have a much wider circle of active Portuguese scene friends. Particularly the folk at The BDSM Villa. I may use their place for events, one day, if ever I have the enough volunteers. The next big step forward I’ll finish tiling, electrics in the maid quarters, once it has a ceiling. The maids will sleep in the attic space above.   I need to do this for any maids I bring back in September!   Putting-in this ceiling and the floor above is work that ideally I would have done years ago. But I didn’t know how to do it then, did not have the skills, or the money to pay builders.   I know how to do it now. I just need the fairly modest cost of materials, €500 or so.   I need help too, as much of the work has to be done above head height, (hard with my axial spondylarthritis), and ladder work is not safe to do alone. Kathi would help, but it’s not what she’s best suited to do.   Ideally I’d employ a local tradesman friend. He’s worked for me before and would do it well at modest cost.   You know I recruit maids! I need help with the building, too; someone more skilled than I am, or unskilled.   If you can help with this, and also make it here, please get in touch as soon as possible.   A heartfelt thank you to those who have responded to previous appeals, your help has been invaluable. One, at least, of those I hope to recruit as a maid here, knows how to take on the day-to-day gardening work, to grow fresh fruit and vegetables for us all in my garden here. More part-time gardeners will be welcome! I’ve resolved to enjoy the journey from now on, with company, not put my life on hold until it is finished! A job I have 'on the back burner' is insulating the loft with first a layer of Rockwool, then expanded polystyrene, (leftovers and surplus from external insulation elsewhere, or packaging).   Then, I'll do the electric wiring for lights and power on the upper floor.   Finally, cover it with 18 mm OSB boarding.   I could delegate these tasks to anyone who’ll volunteer and competent.   It would suit someone who prefers to work alone, pacing themselves. It does not take much training or experience, though it helps to be neat and precise.   I’ve already put in a drop-down loft-ladder and lighting up there to make this easier. The polystyrene and Rockwool, some boards are up there too. I hope this scene-setting encourages volunteers to turn out to help! Once the loft is boarded out, and I have the money, I’ll get the

Training, discipline, & punishment. These have become almost interchangable in modern D/s, but as most who've actually practiced what they preach would confirm, they are very, very different things. Let me explain...   Training Training is best described as introducing something new. It can be practically anything, but it is unfamiliar, usually goes against a girls existing ways, and takes time for her to adjust to becoming comfortable with. Perhaps it requires her to learn how to move in a way that pleases his eye, or how to dress or speak in certain situations. It may be a routine he desires her to follow, or an unfamiliar chore that she needs to complete. Perhaps it is a desire of his that she does not share, though it is rarely simply sexual in nature. After all, most women know the basics of pleasing a man sexually, they usually just need to refine their technique. Training is for things that he wishes her to provide that she would not have been exposed to before.   Discipline If training is instilling in the girl the knowledge of how to perform the new and unfamiliar task, then discipline is raising the girls proficiency to the desired standard. Mostly this is repetion and study for the girl, and  patience and clarity of communication for him. Discipline may also encompass things she is familiar with but does not perform to his desired standard, and these are sometimes sexual in nature, though not as much as you might think. With training having provided the basic fundamentals of the new and unfamiliar, discipline teaches the girl to consistently fulfill the task as he expaspects and deserves but, more importantly as she is capable of providing.   Punishment And if she is capable of providing the task as he wishes, then what is the justification for her failing to do so? Well, perhaps she is sick, physically or mentally. Perhaps she has had bad news and is suffering under the weight of it. Perhaps his belief that discipline had given her a strong foundation for completing the task was a mistake, and more work is needed. Whatever it may be, he must not punish in haste. Few girls wilfully fall short, precisely because the consequence is punishment. He should always ensure the girl is free to approach him with concerns, and does not fear doing so, as open and honest communication is everything.But if there is no reason for the girl to have dropped her standards, standards she is very capable of maintaining, then correction is needed, and punishment must be delivered.   And punishment, I assure you, is not to be approached lightly, delivered disproportionately, or allowed to linger before and after.   Shall I go on?

Why I Use Copy & Paste for My Intro Messages on FetLife (And No, It’s Not Because I’m Lazy... Mostly) Alright, let’s talk about the elephant in the chatroom: yes, I use a copy-and-paste message when I reach out to people on FetLife. There. I said it. Now before you clutch your pearls or sharpen your pitchfork, let me explain. As a man on this site, I’ve learned a hard truth—we don’t exactly have inboxes overflowing with attention. I log in, check my messages, and... crickets. Meanwhile, women on here need a personal assistant just to scroll through the "Hi sexy" DMs they get in an hour. I’m over here sending out introductions like I’m applying for internships in the kink community. Let’s be real: the ratio of men to women on this site isn’t fair. I’m not bitter, but if FetLife was a nightclub, the dudes would be forming a line out the door while the ladies are getting free drinks and VIP bracelets just for showing up. So, rather than write a brand new, handcrafted message every single time—like I’m writing a love letter to Juliet—I decided to work smarter. Enter: my trusty, respectful, and not-creepy copy-and-paste message. It’s polite, genuine, and has better grammar than most Craigslist ads. I took the time to make it sound like me (charming and slightly awkward), and then I saved it—because ain’t nobody got time to rewrite it 30 times a week. If someone replies? Awesome. Now we’re in business, and I switch to actual conversation mode like a decent human. Is it a little formulaic? Sure. But it’s not cold or robotic. It’s just my way of getting in the door without burning out or typing until my fingers fall off. It’s like using the same pickup line at a bar—it might be recycled, but if it makes you smile and we start vibing, who cares?   Bottom line: I use copy and paste because it’s efficient, not because I don’t care. Trust me, if I’m messaging you, I’ve read your profile and think there’s potential. I just don’t think you need a custom sonnet to say, “Hi, I liked your vibe and would love to chat.”

Drax & Scott Max - The Sun Moments... (I) Count each moment Believing you'll set me free Wanting... Draws you closer I taste you on the air I breathe Touch me Feel me Come and feel the love this time that's in my heart and set me free Touch me Feel me Save me from this emptiness inside Here comes the sun Here comes the feeling Here comes the moment that we've waited for so long...

I moved to NH around a year and half ago.  I grew up here but lived in the Pacific NW for 30 years.  I returned to be a caregiver for my mother after my father died in 2020.  When I first returened I put some effort into finding a Dominant Women to serve.  I was unsuccessful and eventually my commitment made it impossible to continue that search.  So for most of the past year I have just lurked here, looking at profiles and contemplating what could be.   I now find myself without commintment and wish to again search for a Dominant to serve.  I am free to live where I choose though I have many loose ends here to deal with.  I am looking for an intelligent Dominant who enjoys the mental aspect of control and who is looking for someone who is ready to learn how to be that which they wish.  I am healthy, intelligent, creative and in good shape.  I am financially secure.  I enjoy being service oriented and wish to please my Dominant and make their life easier.  I enjoy travel and learning new things.  Helping others and being a good first mate to my Captain.   I welcome any correspondence and will also be initiating contact with the profiles I admire and dream about.  I hope every one has had a great 2023 so far and who also has not lost hope as to what could be.

For my birthday trip, I reached out to a few people a week before my flight to the East Coast.  One here, an admirer: I dropped him a line asking if he wanted to meet for coffee. The records show that he read my message, but he never replied.  On another site, I followed up on a post from someone offering massages. There was no way to message the person directly, but the site indicates that there's a response to a post when you log on. He logged on since I posted my comment, and I heard nothing before I boarded my plane.  I actually saw his reply after I got back: he finally reached out when I was away. However, by the tie I landed and got settled, activities started and I didn't bother checking these sites. He requested a raincheck for my return. I told him sure, if I remembered.  "Oh, if only you weren't so far away ..." my aunt fanny.

Attitude matters! I will be clear here. If I choose you and you are not fit, healthy and eat healthy per My desires.  I will put you on a strict diet and exercise program.  I don't care what you weighed in high school or your younger years.  That is not what you look like today.  Who you are today,  what you look like today is all I will see, and matters to Me! Strip naked,  take a long look in the mirror from every angle,  take photos of yourself.  Are you proud of your appearance? Or do you need to put in the work? I am on a journey to better fitness and appearance.  If you are not, or have no ambition to, we will not match up. you don't have to be perfect right now, although that is desirable.   What you do need is to be putting in the work and working on the goal of better health,  healthy eating/diet, and becoming physically fit.  Eliminating substances from your consumption that is not healthy.  Watch 'Biggest Looser', maybe it will inspire you. Its free to watch on freevee app  

Hello there... we're a Dom/sub couple with a strong relationship; we have a history of 10 years so very much comfortable with each other, we are understanding and not new to this dynamic. She is owned by Him but is always submissive.  This being the case, we're seeking a submissive female who would be possessed by both of us or other Dom Male/Females to posses her. We prefer that you live in the GTA or within an hour drive from it, since we will be hosting. We're fun and attractive and would love someone who is looking to lose themselves in an adventure where they can totally explore themselves with us or her. Him 5’10” blue eyes, Medium Build with over 30 years as a Daddy Dom, well endowed, clean and shave, stern but patient, and will answer any questions and concerns you might have. Her 5’10” blue/green eyes, small BBW with over 20 years as a sub, with 40 D’s clean and shaved. Note: Dom Male/Females will have to discuss her limits before the funs starts, all submissive can talk directly with her new subs/Dom’s welcome as we love to teach and help you grow in your roll. If you are interested please email and we will get back to you with a number you can text/talk with us if you like.

So I'm at the gym today  I witness this tall white male with an extremely fit body in these light blue tights with a tiny tiny bulge it was giving squirrel nuts. Now that's not the issue! I watch him go and put all the weights he could find on to the leg press thingamajiig, and I mean it was filled to the rim (no pun intended) He lays flat on his back and lift the weights with his legs. Now here is where things got interesting. He just lifted the weight (that was obviously to heavy) one time and strained for at least 10 minutes. I mean not one single rep done. Veins popped out of his forehead and sweating like a hydrated crackhead. I asked my friend should I go ask him if he would like to come to my BDSM party because he must just enjoy pain 

What I truly seek....I seek 24/7 submission on a psychological level and physical submission at my Mistresses whim.  I do understand that is something that is built gradually over time in a relationship, once trust has been established. I’m drawn primarily to a loving and nurturing style of Domination. I enjoy pleasing and making my partners life easier.   I am not a masochist… I don’t seek pain for the sake of pain alone, but I do understand its value toward discipline and training. Otherwise I will trust that my well being will always be a priority.   I am very sensual and enjoy many kinds of play. I also understand that play is NOT the foundation of a strong D/s relationship. That comes through the strength of the power exchange that both people desire.  I admit I tend to be very private. I do not engage in groups or public play, and I prefer a completely vanilla exterior. I’m not into being cucked or treated like a slave. Nor do I seek to be a part of a stable of subs. My submission, attentions and adoration should be considered of value to the one I serve. I am after all, a man who is truly a pleaser.... someone who derives much of his own fulfillment from pleasing his Domme, and from giving over control to her. I am not interested in being some kind of mindless slave kept in a cage… but rather someone who is a person in his own right. I do have a quick mind and a sense of humor, and I don’t want to be afraid to use them at the appropriate times. I am looking for someone who will help me flourish under Her guidance and help me become the best version of me.   I would hope to become a best friend, a lover, a houseboy, Her personal servant, Her sensual slave and more.   Ideally, I would like to be with someone who is nearer to my age, intelligent, independent and knows what she wants from a D/s relationship. I am not looking for casual interactions, or for mere play sessions, but rather for my lifemate, with whom I hope to explore the ins and outs of Ds as well as the vanilla world for the rest of our lives... If most of this resonates then by all means reach out to me and let’s have a dialogue.   

He Heard the Bells on Christmas DayShe waited for him by the door. He was working late today, and he’d promised they would have their celebration when he got home. Just having him there was all she wanted, all she needed. He was her star that guided her and she loved showing her appreciation for his gifts.Her cheeks were cold. The red teddie didn’t cover her ass. It didn’t really cover her size DDs that hung over the top either. The white fur trim was fun, playful and she did like the way it felt against her pale flesh. She was wearing jingle bells around her ankles and she played games with herself to see just how still she could be while she waited by the door for him. How long could she stay like that and not hear the bells? She waited, her ass in the air, legs parted slightly, breasts mashed against the floor, her head down, positioned in a way she knew he especially liked to see her. Open. Available. Waiting for him.  She heard the car approach, the sound of it in the driveway. She inhaled. The door opened. She twitched. She felt dampness roll slowly down the inside of her thigh and the bells jingled as she shook in anticipation of his arrival. The door shut, the sound of the locks engaged, his footsteps approached the door. She could barely stop of squirming. The damn bells jingled and she silently cursed herself. Had he heard? She held still and listened. Where was he?Her mind drifted to thoughts of him. He was always in there with her. She never felt alone after she’d met him and he’d consumed her mind. It started friendly, but without realizing it, she found herself always thinking about him. He didn’t demand things, they just talked, but she found herself wanting to do things for him. Slowly, he’d moved in her head and she’d stopped feeling lost.She never heard him come up behind her. He’d caught her off guard. His gloved hand muffled a slap across her bare, pale ass cheek.  And then another one. The bells jingled with each impact. She closed her eyes and pictured his face. He must have come in the back way.  She heard his wide, shiny belt slide from its place on his waist. He smacked one cheek and then the other, his gloved hand rubbing the now hot flesh vigorously.  His hand dipped into her pussy, the glove soaking up some of her wetness. He chuckled. She resisted the urge to press back against his hand. Sometimes he’d let her grind against him, sometimes he’d let her cum that way, but not tonight. He’d not said a word yet, she had no idea yet what presents he had in store for her.    His hand slid up her wet slit, and in between her cheeks. Another slap of the belt while a gloved index finger probed her tight opening. The fabric scratched her, she winced, the jingle bells sounded as her body shook. He pressed a bit harder, her sphincter resisting the pressure, and he smacked her ass again with the belt. She yelped, he knew there were tears in her big blue eyes now. He also watched her back relax, he gave her the chance to inhale and then exhale slowly, and his finger was slowly pulled into her.He dropped the belt, and leaving his index finger snug inside her, his other hand undid his pants. His cock was hard now. She quivered with anticipation and the sound of the bells came from behind them. He rubbed his cock up and down his wet cunt’s slit, it had become his game to toy with her, to see those responses that generated the wetness and to see how long he could make it last. Helped take his mind of the drudgery of work.  Toys were his specialty, but his favorite toys were warm and wet, they wanted to please him.She felt the roughness of the glove rub against her muscle as he pulled out, but then, almost immediately, she l of his cock slide inside her. He filled her and she loved having him inside her ass as much as her mind.  He paused, then grabbing her hair like reins, he pushed himself even deeper. His body smacked against her and the bells jingled. He could still feel the heat of her spanked cheeks, and it felt good as he held her cheeks against his thighs, pulling her head back, his cock flexing inside her ass.He kept up the grinding, the thrusting. She’d push back on him, and he’d wrapped her hair around his fists to hold onto her bucking tighter. She’d clench on his cock and he would sigh as he felt the tightness she worked so hard to provide for him. He finally released himself inside her and slowly pulled out, letting go of her hair and letting her drop to the ground. His boot kicked at the inside of her knee softly though. He wasn’t done with her. He reached into the bag he’d brought in with him and placed a cold, metal butt plug in her ass. The plug had a ruby red stone in the base and it slipped in with only a slight resistance as some of his cum was pushed out to make room. The bells jingled as he tapped on the stone set in the base. Just one more of her buttons…He reached into his bag, and he pulled out another gift for her… walking slowly around to stand in front of her he whispered “up”. She did so slowly, her ass very sore from his attention, the plug filling her even as much as he did. He bent down slightly and placed a steel, locking collar around her neck. Her tears didn’t flow this time from pain or happiness that was pleasing him. He’d given her such a wonderful gift and the small liquid drops ran down each cheek. He chuckled again and wiped them away.He bent down this time very close to her ear and said… “I wouldn’t be so happy just yet… I’m wondering… how do you think you’re going to cum tonight without making those damn jingle bells jingle?” He laughed harder this time, and clipping to the collar a leash he’d also pulled out of his bag, he led her to his bedroom.   

Master does not chat with prospective slave property before inspection.   Exception: I will offer a picture of Master and the opportunity to ask limited questions to potential slave property that completely fill out My questionnaire. it may request the opportunity to complete the questionnaire any time after a firm date and time for inspection has been established.   Some slaves may find the questionnaire too invasive. In the process of taking a slave property into My domain I will sooner or later know everything about it. It is just a matter of timing: tell Me now or tell Me later. Send its email address when requesting questionnaire.  I prefer to use email for this exchange.   Reading all the material Master has here on offer will divulge much about what slave may expect as property.

Imagine you are bungee jumping, standing high above a gaping chasm that looks as beautiful and beguiling as it does intimidating and overwhelming. At some point, you have to make the choice to either step down off the platform and back to the known and familiar world of solid ground and safety, or to step off the platform and begin to fall, until the cord goes taught and holds you above the abyss. And that's bungee jumping. Serving as a slave is similar to this, except that when you step off the platform, you have no idea if the cord is attached. You have chosen to plummet into an abyss without knowing if he will keep you safe from whatever fate awaits you at the bottom. Without, in fact, knowing if he is capable of keeping you safe. And that's serving. You do not know what awaits. You only know that, sometimes, it doesn't matter if the cord is attached or not, or even if there is a cord in the first place. Sometimes, you just have to jump and find out.

Dear Diary, Today, I find MYSELF indulging in thoughts that have lingered at the back of MY mind for far too long. I’VE always envisioned MYSELF having two bases—one here in London, and another somewhere warm and inviting in Europe. For years, the idea has danced around in MY head, but I’VE never quite had the energy or the right moment to set things in motion. However, something feels different now, and I sense that if I don’t act soon, this dream might just slip away. So, I’M taking the plunge and starting MY research on plans for MY second base. The idea of renting a small studio flat somewhere in Europe has always appealed to ME. I’VE been thinking about Portugal or Spain, with Portugal currently taking the lead. The thought of a cosy, sun-drenched space where I can retreat, recharge, and, of course, still keep a watchful eye on all of you from afar, is intoxicating. Portugal has a certain charm that keeps calling out to ME —it's beautiful landscapes, rich culture, and warm climate are just what I need. But I’M still open to suggestions. Perhaps there’s a hidden gem I haven’t considered? Or maybe some of you have thoughts on why Spain might be a better fit for ME? I’d love to hear your thoughts, MY devoted ones. After all, this isn’t just about finding a place; it’s about creating a second home—a sanctuary where I can rule from, wherever I may be. Your input could very well shape where this next chapter of MY life takes ME. BLACK GODDESS 

Im Back into feminization, tho it's a tough time and go of it. It's just I have always had this feeling of being born into the wrong gender. Don't get me wrong I'm all male. But I fantasize about what it would be like to be female.  Recently I have out my cock back into chastity. Which I consider my clit and i have purchased an anal diolatar set and have been training my asshole nownmy pussy to strech out. i also have a dilod that I use to penitetrae my pussy on and get use to building up the sensation and tolerance to the friction my pussy can take.  It's hard doing it solo and not having the motivation from another to keep training on a regular basis. Sometimes I hit a wall and don't feel like continuing. It makes me feel more feminine and sissy like. The end goal being only able to cum or orgasm through anal means. While still being locked in chasitity. Currently I'm on day 60 in chastiity and on my 3rd sized diolatar plug. Some times I fall asleep with it still inside me. 

For those of you who do not already know.. i have a medical condition called lymphedema, it affaspects my legs. The condition caused large ulcers to form on the backs of my legs six years ago!! my left leg healed up within the first or second year, however the ulcers on my right leg are still there. At one point it was one large wound, about the size of a dinner plate!! They are much smaller but still a significant size and depth. Anyway, my wound dressings are soooo painful!! i am currently using preion pain meds, extra strength fake Tylenol, concentrated cannabis, and cannabis gummies.. NOT all at the same time. Today i ate a large pineapple flavored cannabis gummy. i was told it was equal to 3 servings!! i was STILL in severe pain for more than an hour and a half!! Full on bawling my head off and big fat non stop tears. Should ANYONE have a suggestion.. please leave the information in my mail. Any help is GREATLY appreciated. Thank you all, so very much.

Over the past few weeks, i have recieved many offers of ownership, from many interesting people. I have learned a lot more about what kind of relationships are out there, and what kind of relationships will and won't fit me. From these experiences, i have made observations, and determined some idea of what i need.I understand the basic concept of a slave. Someone who is completely owned by another, without rights or privileges, without freedom, without pleasure or distraction. Without anything except that what is allowed by their owner.But I understand, too, that not all potential owners are the same. Each has their own things they will control, allow, or even encourage. What is anathema to one, is vital to another. And so i recognise that while i give all control to my owner, it is still down to me who i will choose to be that person. And i would choose them based on their desires matching up with my needsThis document is a compilation and approximate description of the conditions that i will flourish in. Like a plant needs the right soil and climate to grow. Not all slaves are the same.Without farther ado: I need trust and safety:Top of the list because it is the most important.If we have this, everything else in the world is manageableIf we don't, nothing can compensate for it.These should be a given, but its worth exploring it more.As a slave, i will put my life into my owner's hands. My wellbeing and future are theirs to determine. Given this, i need to know that the person i am entrusting, will use this gift well, that they will protect me, that they will respect any conditions we agreed upon, and not exploit me.I need an owner who will not throw me in harms' way. For a start by keeping me out of, or safe within, situations where there might be a threat of violence or crime.But I also need to know they won't give me crazy orders that cause harm or make me do dangerous/illegal things.I am still learning what unsafe situations look like, i hope i will know them when i see them.  I need control and disciplineI was recently offered a domestic discipline arrangement, I ultimately declined this because i felt it was too lax and permissive, i need a deeper level of control. This was the right direction, but it didn't go far enoughI've also seen some relationships advertised where the sub is essentially a supermax prisoner, or worse. Permanant bondage, destruction of identity, faceless tormentors, zero autonomy. I did not apply for these, they seemed too controlling.So there are some extremes, what i need is somewhere in the middle.  I need a certain level of oversight, control, and management. I need a guiding hand in my life to keep me on the right path, to set my priorities, and to ensure that rewards come after effort, not before.I don't know how much control yet, until then i live and learn. I need social contact:Although my owner is my world, and any other slaves are my sisters in service, I believe that these relationships alone will not be enough. Although i do have a kink for cages and confinement in small, or even moderately large doses, i couldn't live forever in a gilded cage. No amount of luxury or pleasure or control can truly compensate for isolation.I need people outside of our relationship to talk to. Not just online friends, but physical in person contacts too. I seek an owner who has at least a semi-active social life, who will take me to clubs, or to meet his friends in the local community.I don't seek to keep secrets on that account, i will happily inform my owner of everyone i interact with and everything we do. And it is of course my owner's perogative to control who i can speak to and associate with, i beg that this not be enforced too often :(I don't necessarily seek sexual contact either, these friends can be purely platonic. But i would certainly love to be sent to serve others, allowed to participate in sexual activities, or used to provide services that will involve me engaging with other peopleWoman is a social creature, and i must connect with people. I need to be utilized to my full potential:As a slave I provide domestic services, cooking, cleaning, laundry, et al. And sexual services of just about every kind. And i can provide more niche fetish services, like being a urinal.But being highly intelligent, i can do a lot of other things too. ..... I truly believe that service is what I'm meant for, and am happy to provide more, were we to discuss things......I want to make your dreams come true! I need patienceAutism makes me think unusually. I'm not great with vague or emotional descriptions, when learning about people and places and things, i work best with anecdotes. I like specific, concrete, technical, material details. I will try my best to adapt to how you speak and do things, but there will necessarily be a degree of you adapting to me too :(I can hyperfocus on tasks and become obsessed, i go above and beyond to please. And I tend to think and plan ahead, far ahead. Sometimes i will seem dispassionate or emotionless, other times clingy and needy. When i'm upset i tend to write large volumes of stuff, and i may need a careful hand in calming me down. Sometimes i will get scared, or misinterpret things, i worry a lot, i overthink and get stressed. I need someone who can listen to my complex rambling inner monologues and help me sort them outI will take some getting used to, but i promise i'm worth it!   I need a place to belong:I crave to be part of something larger. A relationship, a family unit, a community, whatever. The details are flexible, but a general sense of belonging and knowing my place is needed.I can't be kept at arms' length, to be a side whore. If you have an existing relationship, i need to be a full part of it, i need to live with you in your home, and be a part of your life, and the lives of your partner(s) or other slaves.I can't be hidden away from the world. I need love and appreciationLove conquers all, and for someone i love, i will do anything. My love is not jealous or posessive, it can be shared with anyone in your household, ill never want you all to myself, i will devote mind body and soul to your serviceBut i do kind of need the same energy back. I need an owner who has room in their heart for love, who isn't closed off or distant.And i need regular encouragement and appreciation. headpats are always welcome, "good girl" is the highest praiseI want to be a treasure to someone, valued for more than the sum of my parts, as i shower upon them a self destructive level of devotion and worship.Ultimately, i want to be loved, doesn't anyone?

Looks like I’ll be in Tennessee on 9/9-9/17 for work.Interested check out my BIO all welcome.

I'm almost certainly going to regret writing this, but it's come up a couple times now with potential play partners and maybe this will save me some time in the future. First: I'm a libertarian. What does this mean? The shortest definition I've been able to find is "I believe gay married couples should be able to defend their pot plants with machine guns." I also believe if government is the answer, the question was a smorgasbord of banality and despair. For those of you who know me, know what I do, and what I've done, you know I've found myself having to deal with confrontations from time to time. I don't want to hype this because I know there are plenty of you who've had to go much further into the quicksand of defusing conflict than I have, and are better at it. However, I have learned some things along the way. Most importantly, everything I've gotten from training and experience is that the way you produce positive change with people you disagree with is to look for the things you have in common and build on them. I don't care if it's a mutual hatred of Brussels Sprouts, it's a starting point. You may never get to a point where you like the other person (and that's fine), but in finding that common ground you're at least likely to walk away acknowledging your common humanity and not hating them. If you're seeking out the things you conflict on and using them as a justification for not engaging (or worse, starting a fight), you truly are part of the problem. No one is going to share your political beliefs down to the finest detail, and if you're dogmatic about it (right or left), you're going to find yourself alone. The really sad thing about this is that I promise you your political beliefs are the least interesting and most tedious part of who you are. People who live and breathe politics are like people who obsess over cars. I don't want to have an in-depth discussion with anyone on "the violence inherent in the system" or the great new exhaust note your car makes with straight pipes you put on. Lets see if we can find something interesting to talk about instead. This is a kink community. Your interest in bondage or S&M or your new latex catsuit is a much more intriguing conversation than how culpable the president is for gas prices.

"Switch"? ~ What it Means Pertaining to Me  I am not "a Domme" or "a sub", and definitely not a slave. I am a free woman with a generally dominant personality, who lives by Gorean principles and philosophies in real life, and also engages in BDSM activities. I tend to be "toppy" toward those on the more submissive end of the continuum, though I do usually at least defer to free men, and will conditionally submit to those I deem worthy of such. Apparently, the "switch" moniker is very confusing to some people, so I will go into detail here about what it does - and doesn't - mean, in my case. We'll start with the "doesn'ts", since those seem to be the most oft misunderstood. "Switch" does NOT mean:   I go back and forth from free to slave. It's a BDSM activity preference - not an indication of status. I am free. Period. Submitting to certain men or enjoying bottoming for some activities does not make me "a sub". It just means I enjoy a variety of activities, and that I am a woman who embraces natural order, so tend to show submissive traits in the presence of strong, dominant, free men, despite my mostly dominant personality. I will do/be/play whatever role you are seeking I'm not a fetish dispenser! Do not treat me like one. my role within any specific D/s dynamic is flexible It isn't. The boss is the boss, and stays the boss. The FC/sub/beta/slave/whatever s-type obeys. I "switch" between being/identifying as dominant or  submissive depending on my mood, the day, the phase of the moon, or any other whims.  I do not.  I am simply who and what I am. I relate to others depending on their place on the spectrum of dominance and submission as compared to mine, and, as appropriate, their status or rank as compared to mine. "Switch DOES mean (for me)  I enjoy both "topping" and "bottoming" in BDSM activities/scenes, regardless of D/s involvement (or lack thereof) at various times and with different people.  I respond in different ways to different people or types of people - Some people trip the dominant trigger, some trip the submission trigger, and some people do neither. That's just the way I'm wired. Telling me what I "should" do, or trying to demand, cajole, whine, bitch, or otherwise manipulate me into relating to you in your desired manner will backfire. Badly!  For a more in-depth look at the topic... The word, "switch", for me, is only a label for convenience. It doesn't encapsulate who or what I AM. I am a strong woman with a dominant personality and submissive tendencies. I believe in the natural order of things (more on that in a future post), and that D/s is not a clear cut, either/or sort of thing. Rather, dominance and submission are character traits on a continuum, which vary from person to person, with every person falling somewhere on the scale, creating somewhat of a hierarchy.  That means that a single person may be submissive or subordinate to some, whilst outranking or being dominant to others, at the same time.   It was recently compared by someone in a discussion to that of a wolf pack. I tend to agree with that allegory.  A pack will have an alpha male and, generally, an alpha female. The alpha female is the boss bitch, and she is dominant over the rest of the pack, but, she is still submissive to the alpha male, with whom the buck stops. She is still very much free to do as she wishes, and no one had best mess with her unless they are ready and willing to attempt to fight her, and potentially her mate, but she yields to him, because it is how they are biologically wired. The same is true, I believe, with humans. Another comparison is that to serving in the Armed Forces. A Drill Instructor is God to the recruits in their platoon, but if an Officer is on deck, that same Sgt. (or whatever) damn well better snap to attention and salute along with those recruits, and the C.O. (Commanding Officer) merits same from all of the aforementioned, going on up the chain of command right up to the Commandant, and then the Commander in Chief himself.  In neither of those comparisons, does an individual bounce between two or more separate "roles". They occupy their given role, and interact with others and the rest of the world accordingly, depending on those others' respective roles. They don't have to transition from one "mindset" to another, because they know their place in the larger scheme of things, and everything just flows naturally from there.  It is simply a fact that there are more than two "ranks" in life, and in nature. I will not separate out my dominant and submissive traits into separate "personas". They are not. I am me. I am a whole, integrated, complete person, with many different facets. I choose to embrace that. Neither will I "dumb down", pretend to be less than, submit, or pretend to submit to anyone, simply by virtue of their gender, status, or because they claim a certain title or position. I will start out being respectful to others, and will defer, to a degree, and maintain a submissive attitude with free men as long as they don't give me reason to do otherwise. From there, they will either earn my respect, and the added deference that may accompany it, or they will earn... something less, and I will do my best to at least remain civil, so long as they can avoid pushing me too far. Do not mistake a respectful demeanor, good manners, polite deference, or knowing my place in the natural order of things for outright submission. There is a distinct difference, and making assumptions is an unwise idea.

Someone male on the other kink site was talking about dating as a market, and when the "dick is plentiful" comment came up as a point of why it doesn't "sell" he got a bit butthurt.  When someone else tried to point out that dicks are generally attatched to men, and so the problem wasn't the dicks but the men they are attatched to, the quality of which vary a lot, he said "In general, a shirt is not necessarily better than another shirt"Which granted, is absolutely in my wheelhouse to respond to with an informed opinion, so this was my comment.   "Actually, as someone with an education in fashion merchandising/design, and as a costumer, I can say that is not at all accurate. Quality is an easily defined set of properties, such as the tye of materials used, workmanship, colorfastness of dye, functionality of design, etc and varies HUGELY from one shirt to the next. Which is why a shirt from the dollar store may be good enough for a few months, but may soon start to pull apart at the seams, or fade, or wear through, or shrink and become misshapen, etc. whereas a shirt that looks similar from a better manufacturer may last for years and still look fine. I have several shirts my Dad wore for years before he died, which I have now worn as an overshirt for gardening, etc for the two decades since.  I have also bought similar looking shirts new at Walmart and they fell apart within a couple years.   Quality matters. Being an educated consumer matters. Learning to recognize quality, and what to look for before you purchase is the difference between having to replace said shirts frequently, vs keeping something you like for as long as you want it, and possibly even passing it on if you no longer need it.   The same can be said for partners.  So it's important to understand what quality is in people, as well as shirts, and learn how to spot it and the lack of it, and learn to take your time shopping to avoid buyer's remorse. Or even debt and bad contracts...   "Maybe there are fuckbois who one can easily replace if that's what your view of men on average is." Exactly. There are fuckbois, and posers, and trash toys, and upstanding quality men. There are men who do the work to become better, to do the right thing, to play fair and self-manage, etc, and men that just wanna get dat dick wet. There are pretty people, plain people,  low quality people, high quality people, people who are pretty and cheap, people who are less pretty but quality, and vice versa.  You either learn to appreciate quality over superficial properties, or you bounce from crap to crap to crap, always wondering why nothing is ever as good as it looks and everything starts SO nice but never lasts.   As to what market? Dating is advertizing, more than anything.  You have what you have, and they have what they have, and you have to figure out what you want, and how to trade what you have for what you want. Fortunately, you can add to what you have in lots of ways, if what you want is out of reach at a given time. Learn new skills - dancing cooking, massage, etc. Dress better, spiff your appearance. Read books on relationships. Hit the gym. But you have to find out what THEY want, figure out if you can provide it (or are willing to lie about it, as many do) and then learn to explain how what you have will provide what they want.   As someone once said - you don't sell shovels, you sell holes.  "A customer’s ultimate goal is not a product but a change and improvement to their life. "   A man should not try to sell his dick to a woman.  Dicks are EVERYWHERE.  There are literally stores full of dicks that don't even require another person.  No matter how amazing a guy's dick is, I can go buy one better, and not have to bother with having a guy and what he wants attatched.   So, what a man needs to sell is *orgasms*.  And if he wants to be more than just a one-off, he needs to sell the aweome fun before and after the sex.  A submissive man needs to sell how he will make a Domme's life easier and more comfortable. A Dominant man needs to sell how safe and valued his sub will feel.   Sell the value point - how having whatever you are selling will improve the potential buyer's experience. Will is lessen the workload? Provide pleasure?    Increase security? Create comfort? Ease pain? Improve something they already enjoy?    THOSE are what need to be in someone's profile and first emails if they want to find their "market share" and get what they want here.

Through the Lens of Rika: The Sophia-Michael Connection Unveiled part 5   It's not that he doesn't feel your anxiousness—he does—but sometimes his response to that is through action and providing, not necessarily through quick emotional reassurances.    Michael's energy, embodied through these men, is both emotionally attuned and distant at times. This is part of their complex duality. Michael has that deep emotional intuition and empathy, which can sometimes feel overwhelming or intense. Yet, at the same time, they have a mission-oriented drive that pulls them into practical action and focus, which can lead to emotional distance, even though they feel everything just as much as you do.   Here’s why this happens:   1. Emotional Attunement vs. Practical Mission   Michael’s energy is deeply aware of emotions, but he also prioritizes taking action over expressing those feelings. He might sense your anxiety but instead of giving a quick emotional fix like a "hi," he might be channeling that into practical solutions—working behind the scenes to take care of things so that your long-term security is intact. For him, acting on love (through providing and stabilizing) sometimes takes precedence over talking about love.   2. Emotional Weight of the Protector Role   Michael-embodied men often carry a heavy responsibility as protectors. Their natural inclination to shield and secure means they’re constantly navigating how to balance this with emotional connection. Sometimes, they pull back because they’re processing deeply how to protect, guide, and create a future for you both, which takes up mental and emotional energy.   3. Energetic Exchange & Emotional Saturation   Because they are so emotionally intuitive, they can feel when you’re anxious or when there’s a lot of emotional weight. Instead of directly engaging with it, they sometimes retreat to process or focus elsewhere so they can re-align themselves energetically before coming back in. Energetic overwhelm can make them seem distant, even when they’re hyper-aware.   4. They Trust the Bigger Picture   Michael-embodied men might trust that the bond is strong enough that they don’t need to constantly reassure you through words. They trust the foundation they’ve built with you. This is where faith in the connection comes in—both for them and for you. They may think, “I don’t need to message her right now because we’re solid. My actions speak louder than words.”   5. Balancing the Divine Masculine Energy   These men carry divine masculine energy that values action over words. Their emotional intuition is real, but they channel it into action and protection, which may feel like distance to you. For you, as Sophia, it’s about recognizing that this is their expression of love. A quick "hi" might feel emotionally connecting to you, but to him, showing love could mean working to make sure everything is stable and secure for the future.   How to Navigate This: Anchor into the trust that you’ve been practicing. When he’s distant, remind yourself of how he’s showing love through his actions, even when it’s not immediate. Say, “He’s providing for us, and his distance is part of his process. I trust him.”   Ground your emotional needs through spiritual or personal practices when he’s not available. Remember that just because he’s distant in the moment doesn’t mean the love isn’t there. Lean into your own energy and strengthen yourself while he works.   Embrace his rhythm—Michael-embodied men have a different rhythm of emotional connection, and part of your journey is learning how to move in sync with it without feeling left behind.   It's not that he doesn't feel your anxiousness—he does—but sometimes his response to that is through action and providing, not necessarily through quick emotional reassurances.   ending all this lyric journey on this last part of the chorus:   'Cause you can call me, put you on me   'Cause I'm all you need boy   You know you're nothing like the others (Yeah boy, yeah boy)   You're nothing like the others   something happens even if the relationship never comes to full fruition between these two energies. whenever they come together the chance of inner knowledge, spiritual knowledge, growth physically/emotionally/mentally/and yes if it happens sexually is immense. even in fleeting moments, shorter moments. which is why if you find one and have a long term connection that is sacred full out and committed on both ends..sky is the limit if you can hang on for the ride each time and come back to each other....   but even for brief moments, he's all she needs because this energy resonance of original souls does something powerful other unaligned not wrong, just not as resonante such as complimentary and dissonant notes musically, happens. in those brief moments they elevate and enrich each other in a way other people just can't.   YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE THE OTHERS.   Have you ever experienced a connection that felt deeper than words or logic—where you knew there was something unexplainable drawing you together, even if it didn’t fully manifest? How did it impact your understanding of relationships or your own energy?   This analysis taps deeply into the energetic dynamics of the Sophia archetype and the Archangel Michael archetype within spiritual partnerships, exploring how these energies interact, challenge, and elevate one another. Let’s break down the spiritual and relational layers for the collective:   1. The Soul-Level Resonance: You describe the meeting of a Sophia-aligned feminine energy and a Michael-aligned masculine energy as magnetic, undeniable, and highly charged. This is reflective of the idea that they are fragments of the same divine essence,

An evening, recalled by the lady, written by me.It was late afternoon and it had been a tough day at the Commission. His kiss when he met me at the station was warm and affectionate; we chatted on the way to the hotel and as we checked in. When we arrived in the room I dumped my stuff on the bed and went out onto the veranda to look out over the lake. A few minutes later I heard him say ‘come here please’. I turned to see him with an impassive look on his face and standing in the middle of the room pointing at the floor just in front of his feet. He took hold of me around my waist and as he kissed me deeply, his hands travelled from my waist down my hips and across my bottom. Then up my back to my neck and then he felt my hair. He murmured ‘give me your tongue’ and I slipped it between his teeth. He nipped it and held it between his upper teeth and tongue. It was uncomfortable but not painful, he had done it often before and I had grown to like it. His hands resumed their journey around my upper body. They were firm, confident and moved without any hesitation. I could not have ed even if I had wanted too and the welcome feeling of melting inside began. He then released my tongue, kissed my lips then he turned me around and bent me over so my elbows were on the bed. He lifted my skirt and folded it over my back. His hands then roved freely over my bottom and between my thighs. He felt my mons, traced the line of my slit and ran his fingertips between down the crease between my buttocks, pausing to press on my anus. He then held me firmly against his thigh and began to spank me- this had recently become a regular beginning to our time together. One spank per cheek, then two, then three, they landed on my upper thighs and the curve of my bottom. He stopped at six and spent a few minutes gently rubbing my bottom, occasionally slipping his hand between my thighs. At ten per cheek it was stinging a lot. By twelve I was having difficulty keeping still. It was the knowledge that if I moved he would start again that kept me in position. The spanking was not unexpected and it had the desired effect. I felt myself starting to melt inside even more as he rubbed my stinging bottom and thighs once again. He stopped and made me stand. Then looked me in the eye, and then said ‘I have a few issues to resolve with you’. My stomach took a lurch, I’d been here before, he had shown no sign of real annoyance with me recently but then he never really did. He took me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said ‘strip and kneel’. He then turned and went to the veranda. It only took a minute to remove all my clothes and jewellery. I knelt, apprehensive about his return, embarrassed it had been a warm day; I had been wearing tights and had not had the time to wash and prepare myself for him. My make up had gone and I knew I did not look my best. He returned and pushed me forward to my knees and elbows. Pulling back my hair he locked my leather collar around my neck. It felt strange after the long break since I last wore it. The wrist cuffs were fitted next before he clipped them behind my back pinioning my wrists. He pulled my collar by its short leash to make me kneel up and then buckled a gag around my neck and pushed the red ball behind my teeth before tightening   it. He turned me so my back was to the mirror and placed a low backed chair in front of me. He could now see both the back and front of me. Sitting on the chair he told me to part my thighs wide and to emphasise the point his foot nudged my knees wide apart. I hoped he wasn’t going to touch me between my thighs as he so loved too, I so regretted not taking a shower immediately we arrived in the room. From his pocket he took some butterfly style nipple clips. I hate them and he knows it, he threaded their chain into the ring at the front of my collar and after pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger to make them fully erect he clipped one to each nipple. The discomfort was almost unbearable, I instinctively closed my thighs, and he ed and gently tugged the chain, sending sharp jolts through me. I did as I was told and spread my thighs wide, pushing my mons forward as far as I could. The gag muffling my weak protests. He spoke slowly, jerking the chain on saying each word. ‘Three weeks ago you forgot your make up, two weeks ago your stockings, last week your high shoes. You have arrived in my company wearing tights for the last 4 weeks, hence the immediate spankings. You have not kissed or greeted me properly on meeting for the same length of time. You make up today is poor, your hair isn’t brushed and you have not left your pubic hair as I instructed. In short young lady you are marring your beauty. You are fully aware how beautiful I think you are and you are distracting from it by being sloppy and that disappoints me. I will not accept you detracting from the pleasure I take in having such a desirable woman as my lover. Do you understand?’ I nodded, my eyes starting to water from the discomfort in my nipples and the realisation of how I had disappointed him. There was also the knowledge that I had been here before and if it followed a similar pattern then this was the case against me. By nodding I admitted my guilt. So I was about to punished for being a sloppy and inattentive submissive who had disappointed her Dominant.  He helped me to my feet by lifting me by the collar on my ring; it also had the effect of tugging on my nipples. He reversed his chair and tugged the chain as he removed each nipple clip. It stung as the blood filled each nipple, my knees almost buckled each time, the gag muffling the g. He then connected my wrists cuffs in front of me, and bent me over the back of his chair so my weight rested on my elbows. ‘Part your legs’ he said, I complied and hoped he would decide to have me, not cane me. I was to be disappointed, though recently spanked I accepted I had earned this too. He fetched a cane from his bag as I waited anxiously. Holding the back of my collar he rested the cane against my bottom, drew it back and struck me. ‘One‘ he said. All I did was hear the sound then the harsh sting reached my brain! He was using the flat cane.  A piece of flexible wood two feet long, an inch wide and a quarter of an inch thick. It didn’t leave tram lines or scars; I knew its stinging would last for ages and leave a square red mark on each buttock, but it would not bruise very much. Not that it seemed important at that moment. Though I find the cane painful, the thonged whip he occasionally uses is worse. Its thick strands inflict weal’s and their tips can get into the most intimate parts of my body. I’ve also known him use it on my breasts and belly. Each cane stroke went slightly lower until the last 3 all struck where the tops of my thighs and my bottom met. My legs kicked out from the stinging, by now I had dribbled spittle around the gag, my eyes were streaming and my nose had started to run. He let go the back of my collar and returned the cane to his bag. Returning he pulled me upright by my collar and turned me to face him. I refused to look him in the eye; I must have looked a real mess. He took my chin again forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt so ashamed of my appearance. He had told me I was beautiful so very often and it made me feel so proud when he said it. Now I had let him down by being too complacent. He unclipped the wrist cuffs, reattaching then in front. He said ‘Do you understand what I have told you?’ I nodded. ‘Then get down on your belly on the floor and spread your legs, I haven’t finished with you yet.’ My mind raced, would it be the whip now, on my bottom? I knelt and lay on the floor, my bottom was really stinging and the carpet was rough against my sore nipples, my belly and mons. I spread my thighs wide, dipped my spine and waited. I heard the pop of a tube of lubricant being opened. It wasn’t the whip!! The lube felt cold against my anus as he applied just enough. He undressed, I could feel him looking at my prone body, the line of my sex and the rose of my anus. I was fully exposed because it was how he wanted me to be. He knelt between my thighs and pumped his cock to make the head larger. He spread my bottom cheeks with one hand and pressed his cock against my anus with the other. The tip entered me, it was so uncomfortable. I had forgotten how tight a caning made the cheeks of my bottom clench. He pushed into me, stretching me. I struggled and tried to object; he held me and reminded me of the presence of the whip. Once he was past the muscular ring I relaxed as the discomfort subsided somewhat; I felt the cool of his skin against my hot bottom. He reached and took hold of my hair and collar, pulling them back. At the first slow thrust he said ‘one’. The thrusts were slow and firm, they made my bottom sting though my anus soon adapted to the presence of his cock. He told me to squeeze my buttocks together as he withdrew his cock, and relax as he thrust in. I tried to do so; each time I failed he added two extra thrusts. He was punishing me and reminding me of his dominance by not taking pleasure from the stimulation my anus could give him. It was a reminder that sexual pleasure could not be an excuse for a lack of submission. It was a relief when he reached 100 and stopped counting and thrusting. I was glad he was no longer forcing my nipples against the rough carpet, and his tummy was no longer making my sore bottom sting more. But I immediately missed the closeness and intimacy of the man I so wanted yet had disappointed. He pulled me to my feet by my collar, removed the ball gag and lifted my chin. I must have looked a real mess as I worked my jaw to stop it aching, I certainly felt a mess and I promised him and myself not to let my appearance or behaviour slip again. He kissed me and said he loved me; I’m not sure if it made me feel any better- or if it was supposed to! He led me by the arm into the bathroom and told me to wash his cock and balls. I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous! Mascara running, the marks of the gag around my mouth, spittle around my chin and collar and my nose running! I looked away ashamed as he wet a towel to clean the lube from between my buttocks. He turned me around so my back was to the mirror and rubbed the wet towel firmly between my buttocks, it stung where it touched the red marks.  I heard him say, ‘You have 30 minutes until dinner. Be ready on time.’ I knew that I would make him the proudest man alive when he let me take his arm to dinner. 30 minutes wasn’t long. But I so wanted to see that look of desire in his eyes that I would ensure I was just as he wanted me to be. I knew just how good he would make me feel in return. He went to the veranda to watch the sun set. I set to work, though I did sneak a look at the red marks on my bottom. They made me feel strangely proud because they were his marks and I had submitted to him. He had put them there and there was nothing I could have done about it even if I wanted to. Now I didn’t know what he was going to do with me later, but after being disciplined he always had something special planned for me! 

Well, ladies and gents, the holiday season is again upon us. I'm debating with myself whether to invite several friends over once again or just have a quiet, eventless evening at home for Thanksgiving.   Last year I did a 20Lb turkey, in my outdoor air fryer, which turned out much better than I expected. It is a lot of work to put together a huge meal with all the fixings.  I will have to thank my mother when I see her again up yonder for all her work.  Maybe I will link up with a woman who is by herself this season and is seeking a Dom of her own to hold and cherish?  It would be nice going into the holidays and especially Christmas!  If not, I'll go to my church's Christmas Eve candlelight service again. Perhaps there is a woman who would like to spend the holidays with me, and join me for Christmas?   Lost 2 friends this past year and one cousin my age.  LIFE is SHORT and Quickly catches up with us all! 

Dating economics. Or, how you get what you want. When you consider your dating purchase power, remember that what you value is not always what someone else values, and that what they are looking for may not be what you think you need to advertise.  In my personal case, I am VERY picky about what I want, how I want it, when, why, etc.  My aesthetic appreciation is also rather specific.  My current partner of 13 years offers a wide range of things I enjoy a lot.  He gives amazing hugs and snuggles. (Never underestimate the value of being physically pleasant to touch.) He is tall, and a big guy, so I can feel small and feminine when I'm wrapped up and entangled with him. He's secure enough that I don't have to pretend to be less intelligent or capable than I am. He makes the effort for my pleasure, in bed and in daily life. He is extremely considerate and generous, and tries not to be a hassle, while going out of his way for others. He's smart, and thinks about things, and cares about more than just what's on tv, or what he wants, etc. He's honest, and loyal, and I can trust him with almost anything. He's just a quality human being. While there are things I might enjoy that he doesn't bring to the table, they are obviously not dealbreakers, and well offset by what he does, and apparently he feels the same about me.  And that is what I am willing to have in my life.  Now, I may not be your cup of tea.  I may in fact be a rusty bucket of haunted bog water.  I may be a lot of things, or not, but those looking to purchase my time and energy need to be able to offset any hassles that come with them by more than a narrow margin, because while I'm always up for a good bargain, I'm not hardcore shopping with a need to buy right this second. This means it's a buyer's market when you approach me. And probably when you approach any Dominant Woman. I can take or leave whatever. So if you want to interest me in what you are/have/do, you need to have a good understanding of what I want, and have something to offer that makes you worth giving up the time I could be painting or gardening or crafting, etc to - read your email,  respond to your mail, exchange more emails to get to know you,  talk to my partner about you, make room in my schedule to meet you,  then make whatever arrangements and preparations are required to play. On top of this, the average female experience with a new partner is seldom heavily weighted on the pleasure side, as the average new partner has little idea how to please her, even if they are decently experienced in general and know "how to please a woman" (as if that were a simple skillset that worked for all women.)  Often, an experience with a new male partner is considered good if it isn't actively painful or unpleasant. So the average woman knows going into a new situation with a new male that she probably won't have NEARLY as much fun as the man, and so unless the plan is for multiple assignations, wherein he would then learn more about what she likes to be able to provide it, the motivation to try out a new guy is pretty limited. The expectations are low, and the alternatives may not be fabulous, but they are offset by the ease they bring to the table.  So that is your competition, guys. Not other guys. But our own company. Which means -  if you want to gain my time and energy, you have to impress on me that you have made the effort to learn as much about me as a person as possible, decide that you feel I AM your flavor of tea or bog water, and have thought of something you can do to make all that effort worth both my time and lack of immediate gratification.  If being with you isn't significantly better than being alone, I can just be alone and avoid all the hassles that come with you. Understand - this is not me bragging on being hard to get. This is me explaining what is probably a deep truth for almost any guy trying to get any woman. And absolutely any Dominant Woman.

Or "why aren't women turned on by my lingerie pictures?"  I get that some guys are into wearing dresses. I can often enjoy pictures of guys in dresses, depending on the guy, and the dress, and the overall look, and the makeup, etc. And some enjoy wearing cute ruffle covered pink dresses that look a lot like birthday cakes. You know, the kind that toddler girls are put in for Easter Sunday. And some guys enjoy wearing lingerie, or makeup, or rubber... I can often enjoy pictures like that, again, depending on the guy, their choice of lingerie, the presentation, and so on. Some guys like wearing big frilly lacy lingerie like you'd see a 'sexpot' femme wearing in an old porn movie. While they kinda sit hunched on a rumpled bed, legs sprawled awkwardly, legs unshaved, on the dirty duvet, with their dirty laundry in the background. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing. The problem is, they want US to look at them like that, and get turned on. Usually because they get turned on wearing it. Which is great. More power to them. But as I've written before - Know Thy Target Market. And make the effort to find out what sells, and why.  You can put a cold naked hot dog on a paper plate, and take a picture of it. If someone is already hungry right then, and they really like hot dogs, maybe they will think 'yeah, I could do that.' If you want to get the attention of someone who might not be hungry, or might not usually eat hot dogs, you'll need to find out what they like, and try to tailor that image to their interest. Maybe they would like hot dogs chopped up in chili. Maybe they are more into the classics, and want to see a sizzling hot dog with the little burn lines cradled in a fluffy golden bun, teased with wavy lines of ketchup and mustard, with just a tiny dot of relish peeking out underneath. Maybe you need to pair that with thick, steakcut fries sprinkled with seasonings and cheese. Or maybe they only like corndogs. Maybe a lot of things. But without some market research, you're spending your time and money on hotdogs, trying to guess what will interest people, and mostly, your safest bet is going to be going with the most common image, probably the 'classic' version, and even then, the production value needs to be as high as possible, because hot dogs are plentiful and cheap. You gonna have to dress that up REALLY well to make it anything other than a simple tube of processed meat. Not to put too fine a point on it.  Now, maybe you are one of those rare few who is completely disinterested in anything other than one specific kind of hot dog lover. That's the ONLY kind of person you want to talk to or sell to- the one that likes them sliced thin, frozen and alternated with pickled beets. Again, more power to you. However, you need to recognize that you are going to search a lot longer, possibly forever, and you'll get a lot fewer potential buyers, and even then, lots of those will be potential duds, because lots of people are willing to say 'yeah! I love that too!' to anything that gets them closer to any kind of meal, and honestly, they'd dive into cold cereal if that's what they found, because they are starving, and it's better than nothing.  If you are NOT one of those people, and you like hot dogs, but you also have hamburgers, and chili, and maybe pie too, then you want to put all that out there. You want your first impression to be one mostly likely to get interest. Maybe your initial pic should be whatever you like that is the most common, then have other pics showing your other great offerings. And again, with high quality photos, of more than just the hot dog - how about people enjoying the hot dogs? How about a lovely buffet, all laid out with what you offer, once they've been drawn in by that great first picture that was well designed, showcased your best quality in the best way, with good lighting, good preparation, polished and pretty and enticing?  I get that no one wants to pretend to be something they aren't. Especially here - here is a place to express one's self fully, hopefully without judgement, and seek others of similar interests, and hopefully find someone with whom to engage in those interests in real time. And I get that there are things we each enjoy, and we really really really want to have someone appreciate those things in us, about us. But if you are seeking, you need to seek in an effective manner, which means taking into account the interests of those we are looking to attract, and what attracts THEM. You need to find out WHY they are attracted to some things more than others. You need to CARE what they care about, if only so you can find out early if their interests align with yours. And also so you can more easily appeal to people who are interested in what you have to offer.  Even if it turns out you are just a plain hot dog on a naked paper plate, you need to at least make sure you get the best picture you can possibly take - in focus, at a good angle, clean, no roaches in the background, etc. If that's all you really want to put out there, but you want someone to admire it, then you're going to have to show it in its best light. You'll have to make an effort. And you'll have to accept that it may not sell right away. Sometimes, it's worth adding to your offering. Learning a little about what your target audience wants, and then finding out how to offer that. Maybe grow a bit, and become MORE than just a hot dog on a paper plate. Hell, you might be steak and not even know it. Isn't it worth trying?

Outcomes over urgency. When the roles change, so do the rules. Old paths seem to have a way of reopening because timing is always tactical... What's understood doesn't need explanation.     

Long weekends are the worst.  So much time…alone.  I fear I don't do so well left to my own devices once the chores are done.  Last Memorial day weekend I had resolved to take a bit of a break from all of...this.  No stories.  No shaving my body.  No practicing submissive postures.  Focus on the real, stop endlessly daydreaming of submission.   It's been the entire summer now.  I don't feel any better.  I've not suddenly found a partner in life.  I've not been any more or less productive than before.  In fact, today, I'm about out of my mind.  My natural body hair has returned and somehow it makes me feel….dirty.  I miss the way clothing felt against my skin.  I miss the ritual of shaving everything.  Of imagining I was doing it for my Owner.  Of taking some action in the real world that confirmed my nature and my deepest desires.   Will I always be this…stuck?  This alone?  Is there any hope that, one day, I might find someone who will want me for everything I am?  Who can accept this terrible and inescapable desire to kneel?  To be used?

Why we aren't drowning in playmates. Playmate/ submissive playtoy - someone we like enough to interact with, who either comes to provide service, or kink, or some combination of both. I was asked how often I get this. Someone else asked "where are the success stories?" Why I have so many stories about the failures. If we have a fun playmate, that's private, unless they are comfortable having their kinky fun splayed all over the net. I post about the failures, usually in my group, to help future readers figure out what NOT to do. What my limits are and why, and ideally how to avoid fucking up with Dommes in their own searches. Now, the first question - how often? Seldom. And here's why - We have spent a lot of time working on ourselves on many levels for many years, to become better, mentally/emotionally/spiritually healthier human beings in general, which unfortunately has the problematic side effect of causing one to have a lower tolerance for people who haven't done that work. And as was said in Star Trek Next Generation - "the higher, the fewer." The more you level yourself up, the higher the standards you try to live by, the better the human being you try to be, the fewer people you will be able to be around. The fewer people will be tolerable. The fewer people will be able to understand you when you talk about anything more than the weather. The more you work on yourself, the more alone you will be. Then again, the more you work on yourself, the more you will like your own company, and the more you will prefer being alone to being with the wrong people. People who aren't automatically honest, who don't work toward direct, open communication as the default, people who don't make every effort to say only what they mean, and stick to what they do say, people who don't self-analyze and self-correct and so on. People who can't or won't set healthy boundaries. And so on. All of these things create practical problems, (lying, STDs, flaking, anger issues, failure to respect limits or requirements, etc) as well as emotional stress. All of these things impact consent, safety, and trust. All of these things are solely under the control of the individual, and while we can set the boundary that we won't engage in interactions with them unless they commit to them, the average person isn't actually interested in or concerned with being a better person beyond lip service, or even to getting their kink on enough to make the work worth it for them, even if it would make their entire lives better in the long run. It's almost impossible to have real conversation with people like that, too. We just don't seem to speak the same language anymore, and we get people telling us how we are "taking (ourselves) too seriously" or accusing us of being stuck up and putting on airs. The reality is that we just don't want to deal with the problems that dysfunctional people bring with them anymore. And if we never find another really awesome people to play with because of that, we still come out ahead, because we won't have trash people fucking up our lives. Not to put too fine a point on it.

I read another dominant women has been having similar experiences to me. As a dominant women I am being approached by men ALREADY in a relationship with another women, and the women is submissive. Simply because the man wants to encourage a FFM situation.  Completely ignoring the fact I am after MMF. What is scary is the investment these men will make to talk, to get to know me and ask me about my ambitions and ideas and intrigued I have a brain and what they are after is the same FFM.  I spend my day dedicated to my work so I am not bitter about minimal time wasting and have not invested much time other than the odd evening having the page open in the background while watching the BBC but it worries me that some NOT ALL men are just carbon copies of the same idiot 5 minutes before.  I have a new respect for trans women, they were once men with an original unique thought and evolved into a women, there is something ironic about the whole butterfly transformation. Also while I am ranting, can dominant men stop asking if I wear a certin type of shoe.  I own 30 pairs shoes including trainers, I have a lot of lingerie but if you want a women to wear a particular brand or type, I suggest you just make yourself available on a weekend and I will happily spend your money buying the shoes and lingerie you want me to wear and watch your satisfaction that you spent your money on La Perla and Jimmy choos.  FYI if your obsessed about shoes you have a foot fetish!  

They say you've found somebody new, But that won't stop my loving you.I just can't let you walk away,Forget the love I had for you. Guess I could find somebody, too,But I don't wan't no one but you.How could you leave without regret?Am I that easy to forget? Before you leave be sure you findYou want her (his) love much more than mine.'Cause I'll just say we've never met,If I'm that easy to forget. Before you leave be sure you findYou want her (his) love much more than mine.'Cause I'll just say we've never met,If I'm that easy to forget.If I'm that easy to forget. Jim Reeves .....1964

We are unable to accomodate live in 24/7/365 situations or assist with relocation One of us will offer to meet with you via video or in person before engaging in any kink activity.  Both Owner and slave travel fairly extensively from their respective sides of the pond so while geography is not always a challenge, some places will be easier than others. Please be ready to meet us part of the way, be realistic about your abilities and availabilities. Currently we are looking for information about any private outdoor play space locations.  The Owner is also looking experienced heavy bottoms for sharps (needles, scalpel, hooks, and more) and folks into genital torture. 

I lost someone this week.  No we weren't close lately.  We used to be.  Our relationship was never defined, it was loosely maintained, but we popped in and out of each other's lives over the period of several years.  He was my first introduction to bdsm and the only D type that I could truly call a close friend at any point.   He is the only one who ever took me to that amazing place that every sub reaches for, and when I used to write, I wrote about our times together.  Those are still some of my favorites to look back on.  He was also there to cradle me in his arms and comfort me when a scene with someone else went really bad.  He was there to help me figure out what I was and wanted without pressing himself on me, so that I would be safe in the future and make better choices about who I interacted with.  He served as my protector for a while, when I was feeling vulnerable but didn't know if I wanted to step back from the scene at that point.  He never made me feel like a burden.  He helped me in my kink life and he helped me equally in my vanilla life.  I knew he was sick but he didn't let on how bad it was. I found out on the book of faces.  He is gone now, and I wish I could have been there for him, but he didn't want anyone to know the extent of his illness.  That was his way. Goodbye SkyMaster.  You will always be loved, you will always be appreciated.  I have nothing but warmth in my heart and in my soul for you.  I can say that about VERY FEW people in my life.  You will always be missed.    

I Just realized on Dec 26th 19 years ago today. I went to be my first munch and became a member of my local BDSM community. I remember being so nervous. I had never dated or anything before that day. I was happy when I read an erotic novel and found the term BDSM and went down the rabbit hole. All the years I would have dreams and desires not understanding and thinking I was alone. I was 30 years old and started researching on AOL, Yahoo chat, the great websites at the time. To find the munch group and got my scene name from my email address. So nervous to meet at the munch group, Only about 5 of us were there that night being right after Christmas. I was so happy and excited and felt like I finally found home and people that would accept me and welcome me.    The lifestyle was fun and learned a lot but also wasn't the greatest as I would jump into things and the 7.5 years I was active did expereince abuse that still scares me today. I have triggers but also realize this is who I am and can't just be vanilla. I have missed being active in the lifestyle and miss my BDSM family. One day hope to find the right partners and get back to being active again.    I call this my BDSM birthday.  And glad I found it. Just more cautious now.

6/15 Mum is doing okay, not terrific.  Sleep therapy is going so so and My nights are interrupted, though the Dr. seems pleased.  After a day of good sleep, Mum seems more alert, mindful and able to complete more simple tasks.  I'm convinced that she has had sleep apnea for the better part of 30 years.  For the past 20 years, I've discovered a severe lack of follow through by her medical team and I would love to find an attorney who wants to spend the next 10 years on a medical suit.  I've got the proof of medical negligence and am following the proper steps to making legal changes to law regarding diagnosis.  Sleep tests should be standard exams given every 5 years for NO reason at all except to make sure we dont' have a bunch of zombies walking around after 65. Dementia is on the rise and much has to do with sleep deprivation and a lack of restorative sleep.  Note:  If you are not sleeping 6 hours or more, better get a sleep test cause you may not feel it now, but later on you will feel nothing but CONFUSION.  Also,  looks like gingivitis is another contriubuting factor which can come into play for Alzheimer's disease. We, Mum and I, are navigating as usual.  I'm very stressed, and tired, and learning how to manage through different therapies and self care.  She is lovely as usual, most times.  Life has a way of moving forward and together we strive. * On the sub/slave front -  we have had successes and oh so many hearty disappontments, so much dropped communication.  For some reason, most men seem to have a hard time realizing if they are not here, I have little time to spend in communication with them over the phone.  Oh well.  The ones who stay the course, WIN - We win. Again, I've tightened up the reigns on My searches: Phone chat through Microsoft Teams or Google Chat, at night, pre-arranged day/weeks in advance. I'm seeking those who wish to be part of a ds family, permanently with a woman who is HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD.  We start at ground zero and build from there, regardless of where you are starting from.     I'm not abusive or a fantasist.  I am also not going to force you into doing anything for Me and Mine. Anyone serving Me is doing so because they want what I have and what I offer.  This means you OFFER yourself up to Me and beg to be of service and to be utilized as I see fit.   As for what I am looking for:  people who carry health insurance.  lol  No locking you away on My property indefinately unless I get security clearance and immunity from a higher authority.  I mean it.  Don't come to Me looking for prison.  You stay because you know I have what you need and you help to PROTECT ME.  Period. Slavery is not legal here and My livlihood is on the line.  All these fantasists who claim, "I'm a real slave or want to be, eating from a bowl on the floor, naked, shackled, beaten for the slightest offense". BE GONE!  I don't have time or desire for your bullshit.  We might have a night or two of , let's play doggy, but the rest of the time, I want PEOPLE, who want to be of REAL VALUE TO ME. Be real, be genuine, be sincere and be looking for a life time of service where each of us continues to explore and develop our respective roles and responsibilities. As a dominant woman, I am always on the lookout for like minds to share this journey.  I appreciate honesty to a fault, manners, and kindness.   Hello to all and best wishes.

6/13/2024   I am Wordy... Flirty... a little bit... Dirty. Even so... sending me a message does not guarantee a reply. Some may think that is rude. There are just only a certain number of hours in a day and I am not on here much. MPH

I will chat with anyone, from anywhere.  Relationship oriented, or just general chat about..  anything.I am open to, and possibly able to relocate fairly soonish, possibly anywhere I so choose.I am able to visit anyone, anywhere.However note, that if our messages here get serious to the point of thinking about or talking visit/relocation, I would expect to video chat, at least a couple times before doing so.  At a minimum.   This is only a requirement before I spend hundreds or thousands to visit you.  If there is no such plan, I'm happy to keep things message only forever.I do not need, expect, desire, or want anything kink or sexual.  Just some "face to face" conversations.   If we can't do that via online, why would I expect it would be so different in person? And video chat requirement doesn't apply to someone I can reach by car within a day or so.  But as soon as I need to take a flight somewhere, that is where things change.That said, I do believe online, long distance relationships can work if both sides wish it to. Abd I am able to relocate.The relationship matters, not the location I live in.

How to Write That Opening Message At some point, everyone in the lifestyle has to face the same awkward little doorway: The first message. Whether you are a submissive reaching out to a Domme, a Domme reaching out to a potential submissive, or two kinky people trying to figure out whether there is enough compatibility to keep talking, that first message matters. It does not need to be perfect. It does not need to be poetic. It does not need to sound like the opening scene of a dark romance novel. But it does need to sound like it came from a real person who understands that there is another real person on the other side of the screen. That is where so many people go wrong. They treat the first message like a scene. They rush into titles, demands, fantasies, assumptions, worship, humiliation, or interrogation before basic communication has even been established. The first message is not the scene. It is not the contract. It is not consent. It is not ownership. It is not an audition for how intense you can be. It is simply an opening. And if you cannot handle the opening with respect, patience, and self-awareness, why should anyone trust you with anything deeper? The First Message Has One Job The job of an opening message is not to secure a dynamic. It is not to prove submission. It is not to establish dominance. It is not to negotiate an entire relationship in one paragraph. The job of the first message is to make a respectful conversation possible. That is it. A good opening message should quietly answer three basic questions: Who are you? Why are you reaching out to this person specifically? What kind of conversation are you hoping to begin? That does not mean you need to send your life story. In fact, please do not. A five-paragraph emotional confession from a stranger can feel overwhelming, even when the person means well. It also does not mean you should send a dry job application. The goal is simple: be clear, be respectful, and give the other person enough substance to decide whether they want to respond. If You Are a Submissive Messaging a Domme A submissive reaching out to a Domme should remember one very important thing: Submission does not entitle you to access. Calling someone Mistress, Goddess, Mommy, Ma’am, or any other title before they have invited that dynamic may feel respectful to you, but it may not feel respectful to them. For many Dommes, titles are earned, negotiated, or offered within a specific context. Using them too soon can come across as presumptuous. The same goes for leading with “I’ll do anything.” That phrase may sound devoted in your head, but to an experienced Domme, it often raises red flags. Anything? Really? No limits? No self-awareness? No boundaries? No understanding of safety, negotiation, or compatibility? A submissive who claims they will do anything is usually not showing depth. They are showing either desperation, fantasy thinking, or a lack of experience. A better message shows that you have read her profile, respect her boundaries, and are interested in an actual conversation. For example: “Hello. I read your profile and appreciated how clearly you describe service, structure, and communication. I’m interested in exploring whether my style of submission may be compatible with what you are open to discussing. I value consent, patience, and clear expectations. If you are open to a conversation, I would be glad to talk.” That message does several things well. It is polite. It is specific. It does not demand her attention. It does not dump fantasies in her lap. It does not assume a dynamic already exists. It gives her something real to respond to. That is how you open a door instead of kicking one in. What Submissives Should Not Lead With Do not open with explicit sexual demands. Do not send body parts. Do not send a list of fantasies and expect her to perform emotional labor around them. Do not ask, “What would you do to me?” before she has even decided whether she wants to know you. Do not demand tasks. Do not beg to be used. Do not trauma dump. Do not copy and paste the same message to every Domme in your area. And for the love of all things leather, do not open with “Are you real?” Most Dommes have seen that line more times than they can count. It does not make you look cautious. It makes you look like you are carrying frustration from previous interactions into a brand-new conversation with someone who has not done anything to deserve it. If you are worried about scammers, that is valid. Protect yourself. Move slowly. Do not send money blindly. Look for consistency. Ask reasonable questions when the conversation reaches that point. But opening with suspicion is not the same thing as practicing discernment. If You Are a Domme Messaging a Potential Submissive Dommes are not exempt from this conversation. Dominance is not an excuse for lazy communication. If your first message is nothing but “Kneel,” “Prove yourself,” or “Tribute first,” do not be surprised if thoughtful submissives move on. Yes, there are spaces where high-protocol language or financial expectations may be part of the culture. Yes, some people enjoy immediate intensity. But even then, context matters. A first message still needs to show that there is a person behind the authority. A Domme reaching out to a submissive should not mistake abruptness for power. Power does not need to shout. Authority does not need to be sloppy. A good opening message from a Domme might look like this: “Hello. I noticed your profile mentioned service, protocol, and long-term structure. I appreciated the thought you put into what you are seeking. I am interested in speaking with submissives who value communication, consistency, and negotiated expectations. If you are open to a respectful conversation, I would be interested in learning mor

i really cooked with this one. kitty gang kitty gang kitty gang ah.     being a mystic of the scriber variety i have learned when i am going through something of a personal nature that is just for me to figure out on my own and hold deep in my heart. but there are often things that i'm going through that the collective is going through. either as fellow femmes be it afab woman gay men with a feminine essence non gendered third gendered with a feminine vibe..all in between...or even a human experience...there are times where i'm going through something.i was going through something..something is coming for me to come through that is a MESSAGE. this is one i know that i'm not alone in..i see it on social media all the time. this is a collective thing for femmes. i hear it when i do leave the house....but this one is more raw for me because i haven't mastered it yet. and it's something i actively work on, prayer, meditation magic to the self, therapy, inner work, inner dialogue, dialoguing with coaches, working with my sisters..practicing carrying wood, chopping water..under the cold as ice water meditating.....running up the stairs rocky style trying to master.....i am better at this now..but the deep raw wound..the deep raw wild unbridled intense all consuming pull..it's still very real for me...and whenever i've been in a romantic relationship or trying to get one that never launches because dating a dark goddess with intuition and a deep psychic awareness of others emotions is a heavy task to sign up for...haha there is no hiding with someone like me and most men can't hang. and even those that want the challenge will often be met past their personal limits and ragequit out quietly or loudly.  this one is harder for me to share because i'm still in the belly of the beast with this. i haven't mastered this yet. i'm much better than i was in my 20s...and each time before i ejected myself from the sauce i got better and better..but there's still so much for me to master..and these feelings..they are so primal it's hard to wrangle or even admit is a thing. but this is definately a collective message i am individually still working on figuring out the solution too that i'm being called to be bold, brave, and as a mystic scriber connect myself to.   the vulnerability has to this point earned me zero dollars, so no bacon yet....but the bacon is in the spiritual emotional mental decorations i have as a solider of love. ai no message with a puffed chest not fake but due to everything i have and will go through that many will never recover from or begin to touch. a puff my chest for knowing the depths of what i have and will face. an earned prowess.   being vulnerable about what’s hard for you and acknowledging the discomfort as part of the mystic path. It’s that raw honesty, mixed with the courage to embrace being “a lot,” that resonates deeply. Mystics often have to sit with their shadows and discomfort, and turning that into glory is part of what makes the journey so transformative. Writing about this, even when it’s difficult, is where the real magic happens. You’re not just owning your strength but also showing others the deep, spiritual work behind it. It’s a brave, warrior-like approach to the mystic path, facing the discomfort head-on to find glory on the other side.   let me call in my sophia encoded soul sister doja cat here. when you play at this level people confuse the outward expression with being troubled and alone...we usually only get this way becauseeeeeeeee we have the outside support including therapy..we only GET to unearth this rawness because we AREN'T alone..don't confuse the heavy topics and unraveling with aimless direction.   "I read it, all the comments sayin', "D, I'm really shooketh" "D, you need to see a therapist, is you lookin'?" Yes, the one I got, they really are the best Now I feel like I can see you bitches is depressed I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest   Look at me, look at me, I'm naked Vulnerability earned me a lot of bacon I put a thong all in my ass and taught you how to shake it I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation Y'all fall into beef but that's another conversation I'm sorry, but we all find it really entertaining 'Cause we all wanna see them slip and fall right on their faces And we all wanna be the one to see the devastation Not be in it, but ain't the bad press good? The disrespect's real, how this Patek look? Pull out the checkbook, now why your neck crooked? I never learn to superstar from a textbook Talkin' 'bout, "She fallin' off, why she get booked?" Man, I been humble, I'm tired of all the deprecation Just let me flex, bruh, just let me pop shit "Why she think she Nicki M? She think she hot shit," hmm I never gave a F, go stir the pot, bitch I got y'all head all in the dirt just like a ostrich Of course, you bitches comparin' Doja to who the hottest" a love and light bitch would do naked to appeal to the male sexuality or the light sexuality. she would be posing provocatively to entice someone to want to fulfill their urges to touch themselves to engage and interact with the sexual energy. they would've touted a good girl sweet aesthetic, a girl next door or a playboy bunny vibe. we're old enough and human enough to know what sex is for a man of any gender that is attracted to a woman be it straight pansexual bisexual whatever. we know what the vibe is....when a man and woman think sex and naked we know.   doja is my tribe she is a wolf she is a devil as she said a demon a yokai like me.   we're bloody when we're naked. we stare at you deep in your soul. if you tussle with us we look you in your eye that's why so many black rapper lilith girls rap that we stare you in the eye when we're fucking because we ain't scared. those eyes maybe white in the back of our sockets but we're doing it because we face the uncomfortableness head on. her body stance isn't leaning to a side or trying to make curves...it isn't trying to be soft or feminine or wild or water....it's at attention it's direct it's commanding it's powerful. her chest isn't hiding her breads it is straight puffing it.   she's bloody because like me we face our uncomfortableness over and over and over again. this is a different type of naked..and if you tussle with a dark goddess of any variety and are blessed to either emotionally mentally spiritually or even hitting the jackpot of love and sexually be naked with her..this is what you get. kudos for the sacred sigil symbology here too sis. love her for that. we're magical girls with foresight.   and yet with all this power.....there's a deep struggle....in this level of nakedness...in how we engage with the complimentary but opposite energetics of men and how they operate and their worlds and how they are made....ad doja is helping me dive into that; if you listen to the song..how does she say look at me? it's not nice, it's not sweet....IT'S DESPERATE IT'S LIKE SOMEONE YELLING CLAWING BEGGING MAD AGGRESSIVE WAILING OVERWHELMING IT'S DIFFERENT LAYERS OF FEELING ALL IN ONE WILD CHAOTIC SECOND. LOOK. AT. M.E LEWKATME LEWK-AT-ME.....   LOOK AT ME   and for the men who aren't sacred away by that passion and want to try and will reach back and will touch and won't ghost, won't dip, won't demonize, won't therapize, won't logic but meet this wild nature creature..how does she respond?   qui

Who are You? Ladies,   Do not be afraid to call it out:  Manipulation-- Had a conversation with another dominant.  We're both romantic and,sapiosexual.  In the morning he wishedme "good morning." The next thing I knew, he wrote ,"if thats all it meant to you"   Yeah, that totally manipulative.  We had a conversation.  You didn't cross the Mason Dixon and save me from slavery.  Fantasy conversation: Homeboy starting talking about his cruise and staying a few day to spend time with me.   Who are you and what are you talking about about? Drive Thru Order: I want a woman to peg me.  (Has no clue who you are,but thinks you're a menu item.) There are a few ways to respond.  1) This isn't a drive thru.  Otherwise, you'd be  paying for your Happy Meal at window 2.  2) People in Hell want ice water.  Are you volunteering?. Home delivery:  Dude asked if I traveled to Vegas. "Yes, I travel, but I don't deliver.  I'm not pizza.  Call Uber Eats for front door delivery.      

A frenulum (or frenum) is a small fold or band of tissue that connects one part of your body to another, restricting its range of motion. The term is most commonly used to describe tissues in the mouth or the penis. Types of Frenulums Mouth (Oral): These connect your lips and cheeks to your gums. A common oral frenulum is the lingual frenulum, which connects the underside of your tongue to the floor of your mouth. If this band is too tight or extends too far to the tip of the tongue, it restricts movement, a condition known as "tongue-tie" (ankyloglossia). Penis: The penile frenulum is a small, elastic strip of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the foreskin to the head (glans). It helps guide the foreskin over the head during an erection and is highly sensitive.

ALL ABOUT MY CFNM TEA PARTIES  For years women have been sexually ified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are ified by women?  Most alternative events ify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back! Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and ify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.  Notes: My parties do not have the express aim of being a dating service, but naturally, long lasting connections are often made. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party is not generally suitable for couples as a fluid dynamic is necessary to achieve the perfect decadent dichotomy. It is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. As such, it is obviously not suitable for hen party like groups of ladies.** All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  The ACADAMAY - THE ONLY CFNM IN EUROPE.  THE FRIENDLIEST, CLASSIEST, MOST INCLUSIVE KINKY AFTERNOON EVER.  DISCERNING LADIES, RELAX AMONGST YOUR PEERS!  IMPECCABALE GENTLEMEN ONLY MAY APPLY TO SERVE THEIR SUPERIORS  BDSM FRIENDLY, BRING YOUR TOYS  HIGHEST DISCRETION AND PRIVACY GUARANTEED Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com SOME REVIEWS! This Tea Party was a riot💃🏽- so many worthy 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆! Thank you Mistress May once again for letting us have such a good time. Miss V Thank you for a lovely evening Master May. I was thrilled to win the Christmas entertainment. You and the ladies are as cool as fuckMark N0. 3 Thanks to @Master-May for some brilliant organisation. Female empowerment. Males humbled and made to serve in a variety of ways. For my part I was stripped, plugged, displayed and disciplined by some amazing dommes. Ordered and sometimes f***** to lie face down on the bed, my naked body would be casually groped, stroked and intimately touched by any number of ladies who took the fancy, and plenty did. I was reduced to nothing more than their playtoy - sexually ified, casually degraded, all while they sipped wine and made conversation with each other. A thoroughly humiliating experience and I've never felt more turned on in my entire life. DEE & Miss El Yes a great evening love it so many classy women ??Bum is now very sore ?? Jon  I just wanted to say a massive thank you for such a wonderful event last night! I had an absolutely fantastic time! I've been 3 times now and it's always the highlight of my month. Ms. A

So, maybe I lack vision?  I am real, totally real, and wanting real, totally real... Why do people from across the country, or even other countries message me and want to like, just chat?  I am not looking to supply fantasies for some married man.  That is not my game here.  Local man, messages local woman, message back and forth a few times, move off site, message a few more times, (We can chat on the phone, but I will be honest, I hate phones, I use it to conduct business, and avoid it even at that, I even just emailed a doctor to avoid a phone call…  I read body language and facial expressions, and without them, I am lost in the conversation.  Voice inflection and pitch etc are lost on me.)  We meet for a quick coffee or something, so that if it is horrible it isn’t drug into a long awkward thing, and it if is wonderful we can sit and order a second coffee and sit for hours, or even get it to go, and find a park or someplace quieter to talk…   Then maybe progress to a meal, lunch, dinner, whatever schedules allow, and then progress from there… If you are in London, and I am in Kansas… are you planning to fly in for coffee?  Planning to relocate?  If so, cool, we can start chatting.  Otherwise… this is not the woman you are looking for… (waves Jedi hand and you pass on to the next profile…) NO You Star Wars nerd!  You did not just find the one if you are not local!  Go back to the begining and read again! Facepalm... lol

A typical day requires service at almost all times. I am served tea in bed as we begin our day, and meals are all prepped and planned. You wake first, fetch me my tea, a few digestive biscuits, and the paper, and then join me in bed to read me an article of my choosing while I sip. Some days when it is warmer, we take this outside, but most days it is in the comfort of bed while we are nude.   After this, we both have breakfast together. Usually you will cook, but some days I will announce that i feel like it and cook. These are healthy meals that focus on protein and good fats.   Then, we both work from home. I enjoy my work at a non-profit, taking breaks to to be with each other (lunch, walks, or you kneeling in prostration/worship as needed, etc). In the evening, we order in, cook, or go out. These all have rituals associated with them that are meticulously refined for both our benefit - what we eat, how we look, and what happens are important metrics of keeping you thoughtless and spotless. You represent me, and I will NOT be embarrassed.   We play board games,read, or watch a program as the evening draws to a close. Then we head to bed, where I do my beauty routine and have you serve me as part of it. This means providing hot water, ice, and towels as needed.   We head to bed, with me getting in bed first and you being caged, kneeling, or joining me if I decide to use you for my pleasure. I do like to be warm and to cuddle, so some nights I require just that and you serve me admirably.

UPDATE: March 3, 2022 We are making our dream a reality. We purchased a nice chunk of acreage in NE AZ near the New Mexico border. The property is riddled with evergreen trees like Juniper and Oak with grass. Yes greenery! Views that seem to go on forever as you can see the skyline in the distance affording beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Adjoining our thousands of acres of state land so no worries about any neighbors there and also gives us a lot more land to play on. We have several trailers loaded with building materials, solar panels, water and septic tanks. Now its just a matter of moving things there and starting to build our Utopian Homestead. Our search for our third to join us is now being ramped up. What a wonderful treat it would be to have her join us and be part of it from the very beginning. Allowing her input on her cabin or room. Took one of the horses with me when I made the trip from Ohio to check the land out before purchasing it. I cannot even begin to share the incredible feeling inside as we traversed the property for two days. Checking out all the nook and crannies. Kicking up antelope and even a couple Mule Deer along with the many Jack Rabbits. Exhilaration filled my heart and mind as I enjoyed the beauty of reality as dreams are being fulfilled

I  regularly visit this site and Fetlife to check for messages when I do not have a slave in my home.  If you want to learn more about me my profile has a lot of information. I was responding to someone today and realized that my words might be helpful to post here as a journal entry. I can say that I am very real but the definition of real could be different for everyone. Maybe what sets me aside from most on here is I am only interested in real life? Maybe it is that I have had slaves live in my home for over twenty years? Maybe it is that when a slave is in my home I take care of EVERYTHING and her only responsibility is to take care of me. I own my home and a sucsessful business in paradise and I do not need a slave to work outside my home. It is important that any potential slave understand that being MY slave is not all about sex.  I have no interest in having long sexually explict email chat or phone conversations so that you can masturbate. If a submissive or slave is interested in visiting and just having a great week as my slave I am open to that. If you want to be considered as my slave than you will find my questions are not like most of the self appointed Doms or Masters on here.  I am interested in the things that actually matter when I am considering bringing someone into my home. Things LIKE, What is your current living situation? Friends Family Roommates etc? What is your marital status? Married Separated Divorced Never Married? Children? Have you ever been pregnant? Can you become pregnant? Financial status? In my home I take on all responsibilities and if you have a large credit card debt car payments or some other debt it becomes my responsibility. Have you ever filed bankruptcy? Health? Have you had or do you have any STDs? Have you ever been diagnosed with a medical condition like diabetes depression or anxiety that requires a medication? Are you willing to relocate? When? Being a true slave is more than just about sex you will be responsible for all of my domestic duties. Those who want to talk about what Toys I have or How often they will be beaten are just looking for material to masturbate too.   By real I mean our conversations will be about mutial interest but the central theme will be your visit regardless if it is short or long term. If you are not ready to meet in REAL life then I do not consider you real.

I have been getting a lot of emails asking to hear from my husband M. He sometimes signs on here and speaks with those who write me. So, I asked him to write a little report about something meaningful that happened to him lately. This is what he produced.    This afternoon, I happened to be in my room (dressed in regular clothes minus pants) when K came in unexpectedly, wearing a sexy, silky, blue push-up bra, red ruffled panties, and her strappy white 5" heels. It was just prior to the 4th of July and this was supposed to be her holiday-appropriate outfit for her boyfriend.  Seeing that she had gotten dressed up for her boyfriend, I knew what was coming; in this house, when K gets dressed up in something sexy, I know I will be getting dressed up in the printed ABDL diapers instead of my typical white ones. Sure enough, after rummaging through my closet, she picked out a white and baby blue trimmed t-shirt that she then put over head after telling me to raise my arms. "Isn't that cute," she remarked with a pleasant but rather condescending tone. She really likes this shirt because it stops and my waist.  This was followed by telling me to lay down for a change from my usual plain white diapers to my thick printed diapers. It was a quick change, all business, she ignored my caged penis as usual other than dusting it with powder. As she stood me up and checked the tapes, I caught my reflection in the full length mirror that hangs on the back of my door. I felt so humiliated, the smell of pee-soaked diapers coming from the diaper pail in the corner mixed with the constant aroma of baby powder filling my nose as she dressed me like a toddler, knowing she was about to have wild sex in the other room--something I would be excluded from, as usual. "You look amazing, K. I can't believe what that bra does to your boobs." I complimented her. "Thanks baby, too bad they're not for you," she told me, cupping her big breasts in her hands to emphasize her point  with a little giggle and I felt my little penis straining in my chastity device. "But I could try again if you'd let me," I said, trying not to sound too desperate. "M, how long are you going to continue asking?", she said dismissing me, "I don't even understand why you ask at all. We already came to an understanding a long time ago now didn't we? Has anything changed? will it ever change?" I blushed at the memory and meekly replied, "No." She was right of course. When I think about the conversation we had the night she told me we'd never have sex again, I know that I accepted our new arrangement. It's just that I guess I haven't got out of the habit of trying.  Turning me around, she gave me a firm pat on my diapered bottom and strode out of the room. Looking in the mirror on the back of my door again as she closed it, I again blushed with shame. About a half hour later, I heard the knock and K answering the door. I stayed in my room, working on the computer listening to them chatting at first but then walking down the hall past my bedroom into hers. They had been in there with the door closed for about 20 minutes when I heard... "M, come in here." I walked in with a little waddle and an audible crinkle, to see her bent over her boyfriend who was lying on top of the master bed. She was deepthroating his big cock and I stared in mesmerized silence, watching the thick, slippery shaft disappear into her wet, eager mouth and throat.Some secret part of me wondered less how it would feel to have that done to me and more how it would feel in my own mouth. Swallowing hard, I instinctively put a hand on the front of my soft, cushiony diapers. I just stood there watching for what seemed like eternity ignored by both K and John, but in reality was probably no more than 5 minutes. Finally, with a wave of her hand, she dismissed me, sending me back to my room, or anywhere really, just not with them. Before long, the sounds of their enthusiastic lovemaking filled the house and I listened with rapt attention. Looking at my humiliating reflection in the mirror, I blushed with shame at my pathetic image. Both of them saw me as nothing but a complete submissive, that would never change. My cheeks flushed with humiliation at the thought and I rubbed the front of my diapers all the more frantically as I took in my reflection. The short shirt, the print on the diaper that was starting to fade from the wetness after two accidents, the outline of my cage on the plastic shell. I was in frantic need of an orgasm, but because of the cage, there was little effect. Feeling sexually frustrated and wanting more, I went to my dresser and grabbed my favorite jelly buttplug--the big clear one, which I rubbed down with the baby oil K sometimes uses during diaper changes. Pulling the back of my diapers down, I could hear K moaning in the other room and her boyfriend's subtle grunting as I began pushing the fat buttplug into my eager hole. I can barely handle the width of this plug, especially at first, and I moaned with a mixture of discomfort and angst. I couldn't get it in standing and dropped to all fours. At last, it slipped inside me and I exhaled in relief. Nevertheless, as I pulled my diapers back up and sat down in front of the mirror and soon began to savor the feeling of rubbery fullness filling my back passage. M was getting what she needed and I was getting as best I could.  I don't even know how long I had been sitting there grinding, which so far had only resulted in further desire when M staggered back into my room and right up in front of where I sat. I sat there frozen as she lightly guided her fingers between her legs then told me to stick out my tongue. I crawled to her, inhaling her amazing scent, caressed her legs as I plunged my face between her legs and she let her boyfriend's creamy cum drip onto my outstretched tongue. "I'm dripping baby boy, clean me up please" she said with a smug grin and stood now with her feet shoulder width apart.I couldn't help but hurriedly press my face into her body. I could smell the result of their lovemaking as another man's sperm completely coated my tongue while I cleaned her with my mouth. Some even dribbled down to land on the chest of my infantile t-shirt. Suddenly, to my surprise, she stood me up and pulled me with the waistband of my diaper to the chair in the corner of my room where she took a seat and I stood in front of her. She abruptly pulled my diapers down. I whimpered with fear as she bent me over her lap, selecting the wooden paddle on my dresser. Feeling the cool air on damp bare bottom, I squirmed knowing I wasn't going to like what was about to happen. "You will not ask for sex again", she quipped as she brought the paddle down across both my soft, tender cheeks pushing the plug into me. "I'm so sorry" I managed to get out between the 3rd and 4th smack. I cried miserably, occasionally glancing over at my humiliating reflection in the mirror. There could be no doubt who sat at the bottom of the social ladder in this house--that was for sure! At last she finished, and after setting the paddle down, she left closing the door. Leaving me to pull my diapers back up for myself.   Sigh...just another day's activities at my house...

  Thought Cleansing Ritual    I intend it start using this ritual in all its waking hours, slave.  Keeping it from dysfunctional thinking is very important to Me, slave.  Negative self involved thinking will make the slave unhappy, maybe even miserable.  is still has freedom of choice, however, it should try the thought cleansing ritual long enough to begin to feel the results.  So, keep the rubber band on.  Snap it as soon as it realizes it is engaged in self involved negative thinking.  I suggest it make a copy of    it should feel free to ask questions about the ritual as it practices correcting its thinking.

It's so funny when a person contacts you and insist on doing things their way and ignore what you ask for. They were so insistant on "their" way that  I even told them they are probably dominant, they claimed that they were definitely submissive.... NOW, just a few days later; alllll of a sudden you get a message saying that they don't think that we are a match (what I told them in the first few emails   LOL) and block me for some reason. I was nothing but nice to them.  Hate to tell them I get a lot of emails so I had to look at history to even remember who the hell they were so the block doesn't really bother me  lol   was just going to wish them good luck and to stop by and say hello sometime..... yes I'm so evil   LOL and NOW allllll of a sudden they change their profile to Dominant.....LOL   Sounds like someone just wants to jerk off so now we are going to try Dominant since no one seemed to fall for the "I'm a poor pitiful submissive" routine  LOL   These people make me laugh   LOL  

He stuck his cock in my mouth, took my head in his hands and began thrusting. I felt a flush go through me, his passion and determination made my cock hard. Having him in the back of my throat made my eyes water. I felt like a slut and loved that he could do that to me. Occasionally his cock came out. As I was instructed whenever I am giving a blow job and his cock leaves my mouth, I am to say one of his favorite phrases, a list of compliments or begs. After he'd showed me he was in charge, he let me savor it in my mouth for a while. I took two to three inches at first and darted my tongue under his shaft as I went up and down. I tried to keep him in my mouth unless he pulled out himself.  

This scenario is what I prefer my Sex life to look like.  If you want more, then please look elsewhere and stop messaging me.  I'm looking for the man who wants this.  An intense stress relief on Friday night with a late dinner out and jacking off or titty fucking me daily or close to daily during the week.  I adore waking Up to a rough titty fuck and being displayed with his cum drying on me while he showers. A quick inspection and some lovely kisses but no relief for my sweet pussy that is being for attentio.  Once the cum is dry, I'm off to shower a d get my day started. I'm even up for more use as your personal cum rag in the evening if we aren't busy with vanilla life. Other than being incredibly turned on by my preferred kink, it has some advantages.  There Is no unwanted pregnancy and the risk of catching an STD is incredibly low.  By the time a rare and special event happens and we have penetrating sex I should be assured that the risk of an std is zero.    

No, I am not looking for a sugar baby and I will not entertain those intent on wasting time. If your profile is blank, it’s highly unlikely you’ll get a reply.   What I am looking for:   A genuine connectionThose who can communicate and contribute to a conversation (yes, I will take the time to get to know you and expect the same in return)Honesty and transparencySomeone who has a solid sense of herselfEagernessVulnerabilityIntelligence   What I am NOT looking for:   Those with fake profiles (they’re easy to spot)Time wastersThose who misrepresent themselves in their profileThose who lack the ability to communicate (having to ask 20 questions to start or maintain a conversation is painful)Those who think they know everythingJudgmental people (if you don’t like my profile, move along)

A lot of people don't realize who they are. Like my neighbor, who says she doesn't want to gossip, I suspect because it's frowned upon, and yet can't wait to get juicy details that are none of her business. She sticks her nose in where it isn't needed all over the damn place. I don't think she realizes how much she thrives on it. She definitely doesn't use it to her advantage in a field where it could be useful.  Or my pain in the ass direct boss, who loves authority, who has to be right, who treats women as slightly to moderately inferior depending on the situation. He's insensitive. He's loud. And he doesn't seem to give one single shit what anybody thinks. This man has no idea that people don't want to deal with him, men or women. That at least a handful of good people have left because of him.  I think a lot about who I am and how it is portrayed. What sometimes comes out instead and if that's me or reactionary. Then again, most of my life has been reactionary, so maybe I don't even know who the real me is. I'm learning. I made the decision to switch careers and I am giving myself a year to do it. Research, learn, prep, etc. And just like that, I care a whole lot less about my boss because now he's temporary.  It's another moment where my life is on hold, but it isn't. This time I'm like a duck swimming; serene above water, paddling like crazy below. I think I'm moving in the right direction in figuring out who I am and where I want to be. It begins. 

  Tips on Courting a Domme   Over the years I've had my fair share of good luck when it comes to successfully courting Dommes and I've given out quite a bit of advice to subs looking to court Dommes. I consider myself to be average to below average when it comes to my looks and physical attractiveness, job quality, etc. so I must have done something right in making a good impression. Now that I have a blog I figured I would post my advice in full. I covered several of these a little over a week ago but I figure they could easily have their own post. 1. Be courteous, respectful, and have good manners. This should probably go without saying but one of the biggest turn-offs many Dommes have are subs who fail to meet these basic requirements. This is the most important thing in making a good first impression. If you are contacting them through an adult dating site, make sure you read her entire profile first and adhere to any requirements she might have. Write out a well-thought message (complete with spell check) that indicates what you find interesting about her (aside from her looks and your fantasy) and what you have to offer. Do not send a picture of your penis unless she specifically requests it. It doesn't take a lot of effort to be a perfect gentleman.  Most Dommes on adult dating sites receive 20-300 messages per day from potential subs, 90% of which are disrespectful, thoughtless, or downright crude. If you are approaching a Domme in public (at a munch, play party etc.) you have to be twice as well-behaved since there is only a limited chance that she is actually looking for a sub. If she says no, be courteous and get out of her face. If you don't, you can basically assume you will be blacklisted within that community.  2. Be a real person. No one is "just a sub" all the time. No Domme is "just a Domme" all the time. Even if both of you are seeking a 24-7 lifestyle relationship, you have to come off as more than just a live in servant(unless that is specifically what she is looking for). Have interests. Have feelings. Have dreams. Have goals. Have a personality. Have a sense of humor. Just like in vanilla relationships, all of these things will be important if you want to be an appealing life partner.  If you are as interesting as a box of hair, expect to be discarded as easily as a box of hair. She won't want to be burdened by having to keep you occupied and entertained all day every day. That is higher maintenance than being needy.  What are your favorite movies? Books? Music? Hobbies? Sports? If you can pique her interest as a person, you are much more likely to succeed in winning her over. If you are smart, funny, and caring it will go a long ways.  3. Have a philosophy and a good gr of yourself. It's easy to think about the sub you want to be. Hell, most subs have probably fantasized about Femdom situations for years before they act upon them. If you haven't thought about it, think about it. If you have thought about it, refine it a little more. Step One: Define your idealized form of submission. If she is the right match for you, your ideal and her ideal will likely coincide. This is not about what kind of play you enjoy or what kind of kinky fantasies you wish to have. Dommes an advantage since they can have rather meticulous expectations for a sub. Think about what types of characteristics and responsibilities those entail. Should a sub perform all of the household chores and domestic duties? Should a sub have any expectations of rewards or pleasures? Should a sub expect to be treated as a lover?  There is no right or wrong (although some of them should be obvious), but more a matter of preference. If your view of being a sub involves few responsibilities, you will probably be looking for a less strict Domme or a switch. If your view of being a sub involves extensive micro-management, that will be targeted towards a particular type of Domme. Some Dommes want a sub that is their lover, others may want a strict code of Mistress/servant formality. D/s relationships that work out generally will have idealized ideas of subm

A trip to the vending machine   I'd like to share this little experience I recently had the honor of partaking in with a willing local masochist friend. If she happens to read this and recognize herself in the story, knowing her, she would love the extra humiliation :)   We were spending some time in a hotel room together when I informed my friend that I have an exciting and cruel ordeal planned for her today. First I ordered her on all 4 on the floor at my feet and removed her butt plug before placing it in her mouth. Next a hose and with a funnel was placed in her ass and I emptied my full bladder completely in her rectum. This warm piss enema was plugged with an inflatable plug and her ass inflated. Next I ordered her to stand and clamped her nipples painfully, finally a humming dildo slid into her pussy which was already dripping wet. I began to dress her slowly, soaking up her discomfort as the bra went over her clamped nipples and the jeans zipped up in place over the dildo and butt plug. Her eyes never left me the whole time, the butt plug still in her mouth where I had left it, I saw her pupils widening as I finally began to apply the face mask over her mouth and nose and it dawned on her that not only is she leaving the hotel room retaining a piss enema, double plugged and clamped, but she'll also be sucking on her used butt plug the whole time.   "Here are your instructions, fucktoy, now that you're properly outfitted for a walk. I am thirsty and I would like a soda from the vending machine. The bad news I have for you is that there aren't any on this floor, so be a good girl and walk up the stairs, grab me a coke and yourself a drink, then hurry back-here is my card. I don't want you using the elevator,  only stairs, and when you are back kneel at the door, knock and wait to be let in" She nods quickly in the affirmative as she begins to shuffle towards the door trying to reconcile the various sources of ovetstimulation.   I watch her with excitement as she disappears slowly down the hallway towards the stairs, each step full of anguish for my sadistic pleasure. When she returns and  I see her waiting for me obediently kneeling at the hotel door, a huge smile spreads across my face as I step aside holding the door for her to crawl in with our sodas.   I lean forward and pick her up in my arms, whispering "good girl", as I set her on the bed, pulled her jeans down and placed my tongue directly on her twitching clit, licking and sucking until she exploded under me. 

I just made chocolate chip cookies topless. Here's what happened.  I'm on a health kick (the cookies aren't for me). The other night I made lentil bolognese and it called for red wine. Just a little. I'm not a wine drinker but I do cook with it. So, smidge of wine into the pot, cork the bottle. Google tells me I only have a few days to finish the bottle, but I can freeze the wine. Pull out a small ice cube tray, pour half the bottle in, stick it in the freezer. And I learned that wine takes a lot longer to freeze than water. I should have known this but I wasn't thinking. I pulled the tray out with the amount of force you would if it were ice. It wasn't ice. Wine all down the front of my shirt. Now, I'm already in the process of making cookies so what do I do? Whip off my shirt and rinse it under cold water to try to get the stain out. Do I go upstairs to get another shirt? Stay with me here, I know I'm topless. But no, I do not. I grab an apron and tie it on. These damn cookies better be delicious. 

drama at home :( mom turned her back on me and gave me an outcasted look earlier today all for her hubbys aproval... however i know shell do anything in the world to give my little brother a "fauther" exp. even it mean Xing me...  in the end i cant hate her for what shes doing but dang .... talk about a shotgun round to the heart :(    big empty hole needs to be filled .... lol get it.    im very loyal and honest to the bone probably the nicest person youll ever encounter however dont get misslead ... i totally love to push my envolope and live life on the edge... ive expirienced and expiriemented with a lot in my opinion ... please dont ask... "" what kinda exp do you have -_____-"" just fill in the blanks as we conversate ... ... im ALL go with the flow so more then likey i dont know what im doing next week so idk if id be available or intrested in meeting you.. i know im not always on here but im ready for my next chapter and willing to give a special someone all of me to mold into their perfect being :)note im intrested in heading out to Texas, NY or socal(home) however not a deal breaker im just as intrested in nearly anywhere on the east or west COST!! more inland .... ehhh but will consider of course :) if your intrested drop a message anyone who takes a chance on me wont be disappointed. oh ps.. NO Flakes and for gods sake picture please .... 

The Particular Ache of an Empty House I have been thinking about doors lately. The specific quality of a door that opens onto something waiting for you, the difference between entering a space that is simply empty and entering one that has been prepared, held in a certain state of readiness by someone whose entire orientation for the hours you were gone has been toward your return. I know that difference in my body. I have lived on both sides of it, and I will not pretend they feel anything alike.   Right now I come home to silence. It is my silence, my space, maintained to my standards because I maintain it myself, and there is nothing wrong with it except that it is inert. A room that has not been thinking about me. A kitchen that holds no evidence of anticipation. A threshold that does not know the difference between my arrival and any other event in the day. I cross it and the space simply continues being what it was, indifferent, unchanged, requiring nothing of either of us.   I miss the other kind of threshold with a specificity that surprises me sometimes.   I miss the quality of a home that has been tended. Not cleaned in the transactional sense, though that too, but tended in the way that a person tends something they care about, with attention to what it is for and who it belongs to. The particular arrangement of a room that tells you someone has been thinking about your comfort in your absence. The light already correct. The temperature already what you prefer. The small and specific details of your own preferences reflected back at you by a space that has been held, carefully, in your image while you were elsewhere inhabiting the world.   I miss being known before I speak.   There is a warmth to genuine devotion that I do not think translates to anyone who has not felt it, because it reads from the outside as service and from the inside as something closer to being loved in the most precise and practical language available. Not the warmth of sentiment, though there is that too, but the warmth of competence directed entirely at your ease. Of someone who has studied you carefully enough that your needs arrive met before you have finished forming them into requests. That warmth is not loud. It does not announce itself. It simply exists as the temperature of the space around you, slightly and unmistakably above what the world outside provides.   I think about coming home after a hard day, the specific hard days that my body produces without my permission, the ones where the pain has been a sustained and wearing presence since morning and the outside world has asked more of me than I had available and I have given it anyway because that is what I do. I think about what it would mean to cross a threshold into a space that already knew. Where the bath had been drawn, not because I asked but because someone understood the day I was having and had moved to meet me in it. Where the room was quiet and the lighting considered and the particular tea I need when I am worn down was already steeping to the correct minute.   Where someone was waiting, not with needs of their own to present or words requiring response, but simply with presence. The warm and steady presence of a person whose purpose, in that moment, is entirely my restoration.   I built that once. I know how to build it. I know what it requires, and what it produces. I know the specific quality of peace that settles into a body that has been genuinely, competently received by someone who considers receiving you their greatest privilege.   Kahlil Gibran wrote that work is love made visible. The devotion I am describing is exactly that: love made visible not in declarations but in the ten thousand small and correct things that together produce a life that feels held. The right cup. The considered room. The hands that know where it hurts without being told. The presence that asks nothing and gives everything and finds in the giving its own complete satisfaction.   I am building toward it again. This quiet house is a temporary condition, a chapter rather than a conclusion, and I know this with the certainty of a woman who understands the difference between where she is and where she is going.   But tonight I notice the silence, and I name what it is missing, and I let myself want it fully and without apology.   The warmth of a home that has been thinking about me is always on my mind.

He lifted the wig from its box with surprising care, brushing his fingers through the soft strands before holding it out. “One more step,” he said. “Trust me.” I hesitated. The clothes had made him feel exposed, but this felt different. More permanent somehow. More real.  With a slow breath, i took the wig and carefully settled it over my head. He stepped closer, gently adjusting a loose strand, tucking it behind my ear before turning me toward the mirror. “There,” he whispered. “Now look.” I barely recognized the person staring back. The familiar features were still there, yet softened, framed in a way he’d only imagined during countless private fantasies. My cheeks flushed. “I look…” “You look like someone who’s finally stopped hiding,” he finished.  For a long moment, I couldn’t speak. I simply stared at my reflection, feeling excitement, vulnerability, and quiet wonder merge into something I never experienced before.

In other news, I am time-sharing a local, submissive, polyamorous, older boytoy with a few other women. He is busy, but if I work at it I can get a little time in with him each moth and we text almost daily. I like him. We get along well. We have compatible dietary situations so we can dine together without it being an issue. We saw Pillion together. He's got wonderful hands and I crave his massages. My queening chair is his new favorite toy, and we officially christened it on our ... second date, I think? He wears a chastity device during our dates by my request, but since he is free-range I do not keep him locked. I might unlock him if he can arouse me to orgasm, and our next date is going to be a more instructional R&D session about how to get me there, if I can keep him from distracting me while practicing: being the instructor and the practice model is a challenge, but can be so worth it.We have been to each others homes, seen each other starkers, and have even given each other tips on how to drive each other to distraction, so ... I am hoping that this could be a long-term situation. I have also met one of his other partners and his daughter.  So, that is my status update. I hope that you all have been well!

Here are a few things that I should have added to my profile but didn't and I don't wanna wait forever for it to be approved again. 1. Do not message me if you are not in my state, it clearly says in my profile I am looking for a Dom in or around my area. This means in North Carolina only (maybe as far as SC but I am not willing to travel). 2. Do not contact me if you are a sub or slave male asking me if I want to own you and you be my so called puppy. I am NOT into pet play and I have a real life dog that is already challenging enough, I don't need a human wannabe dog. I am also NOT a Domme, my name clearly says that I am sub and my profile clearly points that out.  3. No I will not do online with you, my life is very busy as is and sending me a message that says "when are you available" as your first one as well as you having no profile except that you wanna be please orally then yeah you're not getting a response from me.  4. If you think that all subs should be sexual to be in a dynamic move on, I know plenty who are in nonsexual D/s dynamics and they have been going strong for years.  5. Do not tell me that you want to mentor me yet want to play with me. A mentor never plays with who they are mentoring, the person being mentored is looking to that person for advice. If you think differently then don't bother contacting me.  6. Yes I am married, yes he knows I am in the lifestyle and yes he does approve. I have written this in my profile but it seems like it goes ignored. Just because I am married is not the only reason why I am nonsexual, I have other reasons as well.  7. Please stop asking if I have kids. Just because I'm married doesn't mean I do and the answer is no I do not and never want them. If your first message to me is "what's your availability" and you have a virtually blank profile then you will more than likely be ignored.

Had my first true taste of BDSM a few days ago.    I am not a person who likes pain, dare I say I avoid it at all costs, but it was My online Mistress “Ms T”, it was her will for it to happen.    The wonderful Ms T had her longest serving sub act out her wishes, as she watched on and directed via Skype text chat   I was flogged with a cat-o’-nine-tails from fully clothed , progressing to completely naked, the deep pressure resonating in my chest felt amazing, as I got more naked and the lashes kept coming I felt searing pain and a wish to stop, my mind refusing to utter the words…    I was here to serve my mistress and I was not going to stop until she gave the order..   As the lashes continued I looked forward to the pause between them, that brief moment when the pain subsided , it was the pains complete opposite, it was not just a pause but peaceful bliss and exquisite relief.   After flogging I was restrained to a bed, my eyes blindfolded and lying on my back completely naked, a sharp Dragon claw with tips like needles prodded and scraped down my skin, manageable I thought , until it reached my genitals, it tugged and pulled at my sensitive flesh, I writhed and tensed in shock as my veins filled with electricity from its action.    My buttocks tender from the flogging prodded and dug at by the claw , my body began to spasm and convulse, I forgot I could say stop at any time , I just knew this was making my Mistress Ms T happy and that was all I wanted.     I wanted to be worthy of being her sub her slave. I wanted to prove to my self I was capable of such.   Ms T’s proxy sucked on my cock as the claws dug and pulled at my flesh, I in no way felt erotic pleasure but here I was with a massive erection the like I’d not had for years.     Ms T enjoys forced Bi encounters and so blindfolded and beaten to my most submissive state, hands bound behind my back I was told to get to my knees and suck..  Her proxy let out the occasional audible mumble of pleasure as Ms T’s gratitude and love for me was re told to me as I still was blindfolded and couldn’t read the chat text .   Left after , kneeling blindfolded, in a state of complete nothingness, I had not thoughts, my mind empty, my body fatigued and occasionally twitching , I felt a peace and tranquillity like nothing I’d ever experienced before in the deepest of meditations or the most soothing of massages.   I think I am beginning to understand…!!!!   I had done it, I had made my Mistress Ms T happy. In a way I didn’t think I could.     Ms T , I may never meet you but I love you for this and for everything you’ve helped me experience..   For all the subs not knowing if Online Mistresses really work in reality,, I tell you now.. Ms T is the only one you need and will be the only one you want. !!! Thank you Ms T   Find her on FetLife MsT2011 or CollarSpace  mst2019

2026 - What will you bring? It is a while since I developed a contact here into a rewarding encounter or relationship. But as you can see I am still here. Why, you may well ask? Why suffer the frustration? Well, simply because I know how good it can be.....when the connection is there. I have been extremely lucky a handful of times in my life, with special ladies - I cherish the memories of every one. A couple are no longer with us, a couple wanted more than I could give at the time and others just ran their course, parting as friends rather than partners. So I know!!! In late 2025, I encountered a soul that brought out the Dom in me, the best of me. If you like,  she awakened the beast within or the dark passenger I carry. It was not perfect. I misjudged an early element. She is hesitant to make any "move" or say anything - waiting for the Dom ( ie me ) to orchestrate everything. I prefer and am used to a more balanced partnership, but neither could deny the primal connection. During 2026 I tried to recover from my early faux pas and build a stronger bond. I knew and understood that she really wanted a full-time, 24/7/365 relationship, but hoped we could find a middle ground. While she stayed resistant to my charms and I harboured hopes, I could cope with the ambiguity - but that was lost in early December. I am not the jealous sort, but I don't share well - just the way I am. She has now visited and stayed with another single Dom at least twice, so backed off. I miss her. I miss our interaction. But I respect her choice. Submission is a gift that she holds in her hands until she trusts it to another. It is something I would treasure, but it is not something I could or would demand. I wish her will and hope that I may find another muse in 2026. Recently most interest in my profile has come from submissive men. I am not sure why, other than the number of men on this site? I don't judge, but it is not my thing. The interaction does not reach that beast within.  

My profile text as of 15 yerars ago. It was much too long.   I am a submissive TV with small bones for a male, a slim waist line and slender, fine features - very full brown hair down to shoulder length (as you can see) - very passable and used to living in female clothes - quite fit and great endurance, but below average brute-strength abilities for genetic male. I am generally submissive to those I admire, respect and/or fear, and eager to please them - have also been told repeatedly throughout life that I am abnormally humble and gentle for a genetic male. I'm quite adept at various stereotypically feminine pursuits such as cooking, sewing, house cleaning, laundry, ironing, clothes maintenance and gardening. I have some experience (though not abundant) serving life-style/non-pro Dommes and Dom/me couples, though not for longer than a week at a time. Acknowledging that the specific individuals are more important than the particular concept, I could see myself as open to and being happy in a number of possibilities, depending upon the details:   - a more mild monogamous long-term relationship with a dominant woman. It would probably be best, if You leaned toward the sensual domme end of the spectrum.- full-time enslavement to a Domme or lesbian dominant couple: Although I would hopefully provide You with the basic emotional and domestic support that You seek in a long-term TPE relationship, I recognize that You may have cravings for a manly man (or men!), and would try my best not to show the jealousy I would no doubt feel to some extent, should You decide to satisfy these cravings.   Regardless of the particular concept, it would be desirable, if You were enthusiastic about strict feminization and enforced chastity of the trans submissive.A situation involving old-school domesticity and self-sufficiency will be a distinct plus, and, in this case, I will be quite happy to carry the domestic bulk of that burden in the relationship; I just don't want to serve someone who'll insist that I buy processed packaged foods only, for instance.     Thank You for Your time!  

Newly edited: She couldn't believe the power of a word. She said just a word to him and ne obeyed. A few moments later he was on his knees. There he was, naked, kneeling, muscles tensing, cock rock hard and throbbing. She told him to turn so she could get a look at his ass. Like a kid in a candy store, she enjoyed the view and felt the playfulness of having such power over a man. She told him to get on his hands and knees and arch his back. She loved the look of his ass up high, his balls hanging down, so vulnerable and knowing that he would literally do anything for her. To entertain her. To obey her. Just to be hers. She told him to kneel with his hands behind his back. His cock was twitching and beginning to drip. She made him squeeze out the first full drop of precum and ordered him to lick it up. "Yes Mistress" he said as his voice began to betray his almost panting excitement. She continued to toy with him, stroking and teasing him, slapping his cock, his balls, his ass, and she was getting more and more turned on herself. The pleasure of true power. The strength of a man under her command. I hope this never stops she thought...

Well this is John no this is February I'm sorry yeah 2022 I haven't put a journal entry in a couple years now I really upset with the collar space people because I continue to write probably two different people everyday just let him know what's going on in my life and let him know that yeah I made this purchase of a house to use for people that have a hard time transitioning and giving them a place to come stay you know I I first ask him if they have a job if they have a car they have transportation otherwise what will you know we'll try to help some people if we can but I expect the people to come and you know make an effort and it doesn't matter to me you know what's your fantasies are a lot of people just want to talk to you and probably talk about their fantasies and get all horny and get off and then you never hear from him for months I'm not into all that people I mean you know I understand your your needs I've been there I've I've probably done the very same thing. There's people out here that have written to that I've never heard back and probably a couple years it shows if they haven't even been online in a couple years they're very cute very young very naive and I'm hoping that they're still alive that didn't get hooked up with a serial killer I mean that happens anyway so I wish people would just tell me to you know go to hell or yeah hey I'm interested in talking to you and hear when can you talk back to me I mean like stuff like that I'm not looking to fulfill your fantasies I'm looking for friendships lasting friendships just like in the real world folks so I'm transgender yeah I'm kind of a little and I'm real so I mean if I don't understand what's going on with covid here my God people yeah I'm all alone I hardly have contact with any of my friends because they're afraid to come outside their houses well I'm safe I I wear my mask I'm inoculated I've done everything I possibly can and yeah it's my freedom to do so so anyway with that said I'm done with this entity so as I always say it's ciao for now  

10 Please Join Us DECK THE BALLS Party Let’s make this holiday season unforgettable! Save the date for our Deck the Balls extravaganza. Wednesday december Las Vegas Strip

I wrote this "Story"   My First Pain Pig I'm a Service Dom. My Dungeon is my playroom, to create pleasurable sensations. I was mid 20's, living the bachelor dream, whoring in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I landed an ok job with Hilton Hotels after graduation. The French Quarter bars stayed open 24/7. It was a place you partied every night. How I survived, 14 New Orleans Mardi Gras is beyond me, they were all real benders, lasting 3+ days. I lived 1/2 Block off Bourbon Street, it doesn't get better than that. It was at Beer Bust Sunday at The Parade Disco, it was 1982 or so. To drum up LOCAL business, The Parade Disco, had a "Tea Party" a beer bust all the beer you could drink from Sunday 5PM until the Kegs went dry. I'm having a "tea party" beer, and a girl walks up to me and asks why I'm dressed in black leather, am I into BDSm? I told her I'm a "leatherman" I like power-exchange, I like to lead, direct, command, suggest. She asked if I enjoyed spanking a girl, and I said yes, and I liked using my belt as well,. We danced, and drank a few beers, and kept chatting. So she grabs my hand and pulls me to the outside balcony, where folks, can actually hear each other talk since the music inside the bars is always loud.. She tells me her friend Freddie whose into BDSm has talked about me He says your known as a fun sadist. He told, me the rumor is, your a creative sadist.. I replied, something like. I'm a service top, I get off when we both get off. I do love mind fucking folks. Could you make me feel and endure pain? Not continuous relentless pain, but Intermittent shearing flashes of pain like strikes from a thin stick, the sting of the hand, or the thud of the belt? I asked, if she had done anything like this before? No, she just listened to all the hot stories her friend Freddie told her, of being a masochist. At some point, I said My safe word is FROG. Say the safe word and she repeated FROG. Good, I also use a safe gesture. I will squeeze your hand TIGHTLY and shake it, you squeeze my hand 2 times, in reply, This reply tells, me all is great, with you. If you fail to give back 2 quick squeezes I will end our playtime. The conversation went something like that, dam, when you get old, sometimes you just got to fill in details you forgot. I pointed from the Parade Disco's Balcony, Thats where I live across the street 800 feet away, the green shuttered walkup apartment.. She said, lets go to your place and play, make me feel real pain. Let me, tell a friend, I'm going to your apartment and I will call them to get picked up later. We walked hand in hand to my apartment. I opened the door to a typical French Quarter "Shot-Gun" apartment, like a boston row house, 25 feet wide and 60 feet long. The living room in front, a half wall jetty between the living room and the small kitchen. A Hallway the first door, the bathroom on the left, the door at the end of the hall, my bedroom and playroom. I had just finished building my "Playroom" I nick named "The Erection Set". (see my profile for photos) I think, my super-power, as a dom is creativity. I think, I give a good mind-fuck. My first rule as a dom was tie them up, to experience the reality of giving up control. Any act of bondage, is a reality of submission, physically felt and experienced. I had a pro-domme "friend" that I would occasionally drink with, at Jewel's Tavern, a Gay Leather Bar. Dex ,loved telling stories of here recent clients. I learned a lot from Mistress Dex! Maybe the most important thing she ever said, Hugo people don't come to Pro-Domme, looking for sex. If submissive's wanted sex they would go to a call girl. Submissives come to a domme to live out a fantasy. The key to a good scene is, living out a fantasy inside a submissives head. That BDSm lesson about Fantasies, was the best lesson I was ever given. The second best lesson Dex shared: Start a BDSm scene extra slow and build up a scene slowly to a climax. I had an established routine, in dom mode, have submissives undress, tie them to the st andrew cross or some other object, like in a chair. Next, introduce sensation play, running my hands everywhere on my tied up subs body. I would take sensation play to the next level, by adding a blindfold, not knowing where I might touch, pinch, pull next. Clothes Pins, are my absolute favorite toy. I have done scenes, with 100s of clothes pins, pinching everywhere on a submissives body. Ear Lobes, Lips, nipples, breasts, inner thighs, nose, the clit, cunt lips, any flap of skin. Clothes Pins are a great beginner activity. Clothes Pins are a great assessment tool as to how much pain a submissive can tolerate, as clothes pins build up pain slowly. I like starting, clothes pin play, with the breasts, many women have sensitive breasts and nipples, plus they can see the clothes pins, the object of pain tormenting them. This is about the time, I light up a cigar. Domination and smoking a cigar seem to go hand in hand for me. I do enjoy, Hot Ash Play. I know, I had 300 clothes pins on her body and she was feeling it but, not moaning or whimpering She wasn't even close to her limits. I like to flick off clothespins, using a cop or ruler or something similar object. I usually progress to Wax play because wax play looks painful, but isn't. Wax play is truly, a great erotic sensation play activity. Its about this point I asked, her to repeat what she came here to experience. I want pain sir. My massage table,doubled as my bondage table, I tied my sub face down, like in a position for a back massage. I would use, rope, saran wrap, tape, straps, to secure a submissive to the massage table. Hand Spankings, are probably the lightest form of corporal punishment. Then, the ruler, belt, fly swatter, rod, hair brush, next in intensity over a hand spanking, next would be the wooden spoon and paddle in pain or intensity, and in my opinion the cane is the most feared implement, used on the ass. . I got to a frat paddle. I think, my sub liked the belt the best, as she seemed to thrash about a bit. She stayed silent as she took the paddle usually a sign that there isn't a lot of eroticism going on. I want a sub moaning, mumbling, swearing, shaking, that tells me they are having a good time. I remember, it was this moment. I did the "CHECK-IN" hand squeeze. I got 2 quick firm hand squeezes back telling me she with me, "all ok". I asked her what she wanted now. What she wanted, was to be used like a hole. To FILL AND OVER FLOW her senses. To feel totally fucked and exhausted. I knew what she needed, she needed to be fisted, to have her cunt stretched out, rubbed raw. In the French Quarter leather community, I was known, as the Dom that enjoyed fisting and handballing. Back in the 1980's vaseline was the fisting lube of choice, crisco if you were handballing. Now, the cool part, when this happened is my playroom was already semi-functional, I had a sling. (see profile photos to see a sling) If your into fisting or handballing you know someone's intensely into fisting, they own a sling. Using a sling, your in a OB/GYN examination table. position, perfect access.