NO male doms = In case folks on here have forgotten I am solely interested in Slaves and Submissives so only reply to that demographic.  Club Pedestal , Cruel Huntress Hunt and Club o&I in Kent are the three fetish venues I talk to Dominant Women as well. The Mawney munch I talk to everyone with good manners who are pleasant to laugh with for the evening.  All Goals Done = I have had a week where I planned to ease up my workload. Key pieces are now complete so I will take my week end a little slower. SERVICE SUBS = Today is cooler so I may think about opening up applications for service subs to cut my lawn - though a first few meets at the Mawney are key prior to me accepting that person.

    February 12th, 2022   Pantyhose guy came over today. He has pretty much given himself the nickname, because he loves the feeling of being in pantyhose.  I'm not really into him wearing them during a visit and he respaspects that.   He's visited a few times before. But today was a little different. Today he decided to suck cock for the first time. He might have had a taste or two before, but today he got the full treatment.   Because he reads my stories, he knew when he walked in the house to strip naked. I don't even think I had to tell him. He just stripped off his clothes immediately. Although it did not come as a surprise, his tiny cock was trapped in a beautiful black cock cage.    He was very nervous, and he shared this information in text messages before his arrival.  So instead of giving him a chance to think it over, and maybe change his mind, we headed straight upstairs.   I had just gotten out of the shower, still a little damp, wearing nothing but jogging pants. When we got upstairs I stripped out of the jogging pants and laid on my back in bed. From text messages we had shared earlier in the day he knew that's what was going to happen. I was going to let him go at his pace, for his first time of sucking cock.   He was nervous and stood next to the bed naked for a few minutes, until eventually he asked what he should do. I scooted up in the bed a bit and told him to climb in from the bottom and start to suck my cock. Knowing he was nervous, I kept my cock soft, but as his mouth surrounded my cock it was wonderful.  Not just the fact that my cock was the first cock that was going to get hard in his mouth, but it felt warm and wet and wonderful.   Instead of laying flat on the on his stomach, like the boy in my previous story (the boy with his hands tied behind his back) pantyhose guy was on his knees leaning down toward my cock. This made the angle a little bit difficult but he was having no problems.  But even with the slightly difficult angle before long I could feel my cock starting to grow. I didn't want to force him into anything but I did lay my hands on the back of his head, feeling the rhythmic bouncing of his head on my cock.  Once or twice I grabbed a handful of hair and pushed him balls deep. I was surprised that he didn't gag.   As he continued to suck my cock, I reached down and started playing with one of his nipples. I started with a little pinch and then got a little more aggressive. Something about pinching his nipple put my cock on fire. I could feel my cock getting even harder than it was just a few moments ago. He didn't resist, he didn't complain, he just let me play with his nipple.   After he had sucked cock for a while, I told him we were going to change positions. Instead of both of us being parallel to the length of the bed, I laid at an diagonal and he positions himself perpendicular to the bed. This gave me access to his ass with my fingers, while still giving his mouth access to my cock.   He brought his own silicone lube and I poured some onto the fingers of my left hand. He leaned forward and started sucking my cock again, pushing his ass up into the air. As my fingers found their way to his hole, I was met with another nice surprise.  I felt a butt plug in place. I started to pull and tug on the butt plug and there was quite a bit of resistance. It started popping out of his ass but it did not release completely. I learned it was a multi-layered bubble butt plug with two big bubbles/balls. The first ball came out followed slowly by the second. It was either glass or clear acrylic, very large, and I knew it was leaving an empty space in his hole.   I sat it on the back of the bed, and soon my fingers found his gaping hole.  One finger slid in with absolutely no resistance, so quickly two fingers went into his ass. As he continued sucking on my cock I found his prostate and started massaging it.  He started to moan. Since my cock was in his mouth I could feel the vibrations of the moan penetrating my cock.   With my left hand on his ass and my fingers in his hole, my right hand rested on the back of his head or neck occasionally pushing him deep under my cock. Once or twice he came off my cock and said It felt so great he was afraid he was going to orgasm. So we would take a bit of a breather. I would pull my fingers out of his ass but he would continue to suck my cock.    We did this for quite a while, and at one point he said his jaw was starting to ache.  I knew why he had come for a visit. He wanted my cock in his hole and my seed deep in his ass.   From the discussions we had earlier while texting I didn't know how much time he had, but I knew I was ready to fuck him. So I told him it was time. He questioned if we were rushing, I'm not sure if he was enjoying the cock sucking and me playing with his ass or if he was thinking of backing out. I decided not to take the chance.  I told him it was time to get fucked.   I climbed off the bed as he pushed his ass higher into the air. I climbed on the bed behind him, my left foot flat on the bed with my bent knee. My right foot and leg hooked around his right leg to hold him up and to keep him from dropping away from me.   My cock found its target, and plunged in balls deep first try. The toy that had been in his ass was so large, he was so opened up, he didn't even g.  But he was definitely not loose, his ass was tight around my cock.  Oh my God it felt wonderful.  I twisted my right knee on top of his back, somehow keeping my right foot locked in place so he couldn't get away.  In this perpendicular position our bodies were almost forming a "T."   This gave me the absolute maximum depth in his ass that I could have. I varried my rhythm going from slow to fast. Sometimes pulling completely out and plunging back in. Sometimes just popping the head of my cock in and out. Sometimes working full length without pulling out completely. His head was down on the pillow where it should be, his ass in the air. At times I felt him rhythmically push back as if to force his ass to swallow more of my cock.   The sensation was incredible, plus from my view it was a hot sight to see. His ass up, his head down, occasionally I would lean forward and put my hand against the back of his head and push him into the pillow. I probably only lasted about 10 minutes, and during that time I thought of everything including work, my broken snowblower, and things on my to-do list... but it didn't help, it was all too exciting.   Then I made my fatal mistake. I flipped my right foot onto the back of his neck pushing him down into the pillow with much of my weight. Psychologically there is something about me being dominant and doing this to a submissive that pushes me over the edge. And that is exactly what it did. My bad, LOL.   Soon I told him that I was going to be flooding his ass with my cum.   I pumped another dozen or so times and then felt my cum pulsing out of my cock. Filling his ass with my orgasm. I was staying hard so I continued fucking him. I moved my leg back to the bed pinning him against me, sometimes brutally thrusting into him. Eventually I was exhausted and had to pull out.   We reinserted the glass toy into his hole so none of my seed would

Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I want to share something important with you. Finding a master isn’t something that comes easy or quick, and that’s because it’s not just about a label or a title—it’s about a deep connection, trust, and mutual understanding. I want you to know that I’m genuinely ready for this lifestyle. I’m committed to learning, growing, and fully embracing the dynamic it brings. It’s not just about being controlled or guided—it’s about pleasing a master who respaspects and values me, someone who can push me to be my best and help me discover parts of myself I never knew existed. I’m prepared to put in the effort, to listen, and to show my loyalty and dedication in every possible way. This isn’t a phase or a fleeting interest for me—it’s something I want to live, breathe, and make a meaningful part of who I am. So if you’re someone who understands the depth of this lifestyle, knows the responsibility it carries, and is looking for someone ready to fully commit and please, then I’d like to have that conversation with you. It’s hard to find this kind of connection because it requires honesty, respect, and a level of sincerity that not everyone offers. But I’m here, and I’m ready.

This happened to me some years ago now but still remains in my memory as one of the my most embarrassing but exciting experiences. I was staying with my BF at his house for a couple of weeks. He only lived a short drive from the sea and we occasionally went for a walk on the beach. One day he announced that he thought that because of my behavior I was in need of a spanking which is something, I might add, that he did to me almost on a daily basis, and he decided we were going for a beach walk and he was going to give me a public spanking. Well, he had never done that before, I always got spanked in private usually in the bedroom or the lounge room and I was a bit dubious and rather nervous about it and what the public reaction might be and I said so. He just said well that’s tough girl that’s what’s going to happen to you and I knew there was no arguing with him, his word was law in his house (and out of it). I pouted at him a little and tried to argue further but of course it made no difference, in fact it probably made it worse for me. I was dressed in a summery, flowery mini dress, it was summertime, that flared from under my bust and only just covered my bum. Underneath I only had on my bra and panties, with my beach walking sandals on my feet. He was wearing cargo shorts and a tee shirt and to my alarm was carrying a cane in his hand as we went out the door. I said you’re not taking that with you are you! He just told me to shut up and get in the car. I did so, still pouting, which was about the only sort of defiance I could hope to get away with without risking getting a slap. I put on my seat belt and sat in nervous silence staring at my bare legs as he drove us to the beach. My mind was in a bit of a turmoil as I thought about what he said he was going to do to me but I did begin to find it curiously exciting and arousing even thinking about which panties I was wearing if they were going to be seen. Ok, out you get he said to me as we parked in the beachside carpark. He emerged from the car carrying the cane quite openly. I was quietly amused and aroused at his confidence and audacity as he walked down the sandy track to the beach proper, cane in one hand and towing me along behind him with the other. The sky was a clear bright blue with a few fluffy little clouds scudding across it. I now felt very nervously alive and excited at the thought of what was to come. The surf was crashing noisily onto the beach and the cool breeze blew through my hair and lifted up my dress forcing me to do a Marylyn Munroe seven year itch sort of pose to keep it down. To my relief the beach was not all that crowded, just a few people scattered around but there was a roadwork gang working on the road that ran alongside the beach and I could feel those guys already taking an interest in me with my attempts to keep my dress in place. We walked up the beach past the road work crew and the beach sunbathers to a rocky area at one end which was some distance from anybody else but definitely not completely out of sight. He sat on a conveniently placed large rock and I petitely sat down in the sand next to him and shading my eyes with my hand looked out to sea where a fishing boat was underway bobbing up and down in the swell. We sat like that in silence for a little while then he turned to me and in a rather soft sexy voice started to admonish me for what he called my lack of respect and disobedience over the last couple of days and how I needed to be taught a lesson, spare the rod and spoil the girl sort of stuff. I squirmed around a little as I listened to him knowing that he was right I had not been obeying him as instantly as I should have been doing, even occasionally arguing with him and that I did deserve what I was about to get. I looked across the beach towards the fairly distant beachgoers we had passed and then to the work gang on the road, also fairly distant from us now, but nobody seemed to be taking any notice of us. He took hold of my shoulder length blonde hair at the back of my neck then slowly but deliberately forced my head back until I was staring at that vivid blue sky. Automatically I twisted my head to try to get away from him but this just made him firm up his grip on my hair until it hurt and I stopped resisting him. Still using my hair to control me he pulled me across his knees and held me there. My flared dress was so short that it was already up round my waist. I felt his hand caress my bum through my satin panties and his fingers went down between my legs. I was already a teeny bit aroused by all this and by his power and confidence in what he was doing and it was now all I could do to prevent myself from squealing out loud. I just sighed instead. Then he started to spank me. He had large powerful hands and it always hurt. Each smack across my bum sent pain shooting through me making me g. I kept my hands in front of me, palms on the sand sort of balancing myself over his knees, I knew better than to try and protect my bottom with my hands. Then he hooked his thumb into the waistband of my panties and pulled them down until they were stretched tight across my mid thighs and continued spanking my now naked bum. He had pulled me across his knees facing away from the distant beachgoers and work gang but still in sight of them and I remember hoping that someone didn’t think that I was being assaulted and call the police, the last thing I wanted to face as we got back to the car would be a couple of grinning cops waiting for us and having to explain

Gabriel was Jesus.  In Daniel chapter 8 through 10 a man visits Daniel. A voice confirms that it is Gabriel in Daniel 9:21. When the man appears to Daniel again in chapter 10 it does not state that it is Gabriel but I would think the same man would continue to come to him means though he showed up twice already to Daniel. It would not be needed to state a third time that it was Gabriel. And I believe if it was another person Daniel would have been told who it was like how he was told before that the man was Gabriel that came to him in chapters 8 and 9.   In chapter 10 it states that this man's appearance has a body of beryl, face like lightning, eyes like lamps of fire, arms and feet like polished brass, and a voice like the sound of a multitude. He is in the form of a man.    In John 17:5 Jesus is praying to his father in heaven and he states that he wants to be glorified at his side with the glory he has alongside the Father that he had before the world was.    This could be why Mary didn't notice him and mistook him as the gardener and why the one disciple had to put his fingers in the holes of Jesus's hands to truly believe that it was him.    Also in John 8:58 Jesus says before Abraham was I am. He was formed before we were ever created. He created us. He is the invisible image of God but gives all the glory back to the Father as he listens to the Father and does the Father's will. He was Gabriel the mouthpiece of God.    In revelations Jesus is said to come back with his face shining like the sun, voice like the sound of many waters, feet like burnished bronze, eyes like the flame of fire, and hair as white as wool, as a Son of Man meaning a human form with a divine presence.   

System bug, it seems Different Journal listing at collarspace.com/USERNAME  versus different at: https://www.collarspace.com/personals/v/THEIRuserNUMBERhere/details.htm  In the former their most recent journal entry is 11/29/2021 4:39:27 PM but in the latter it does show their excellent 1/9/2022 1:16:55 PM Journal entry.  Reloading browser page doesn't fix. With system issues like this, you have to wonder whether there is no Message button because they wish to hide, like maybe too many emails following their Journal post, or whether that's a software problem too. Anyway here's what they wrote: "Most of us don't know what we really want. We have vague unrealistic general hopes (such as wanting a lottery win), but when asked to name our specific realistic goals we often struggle. It's probably because so much of our life is bound up in everyday survival - the endless toll of 24-hour emails and social media, plus all the issues and stresses we're dealing with take their toll on our ability to dream and make those dreams come true. " Great point. While it won't solve all these personal and societal issues, I highly recommend meditation or other mindfulness practice (there are others) as one part of one's toolkit and regular weekly, if possible daily, routine. That's for all of us, regardless of BDSM identity, gender etc. Wishing everyone a great week ahead. Or at least a bearable one, haha.

At the beginning of a relationship I try to keep surprises to a minimum. So I’ve written a short description of how I would spank the first time I did so. I do not spank really hard as the pleasure is over far too soon. I spank firmly and slowly. I call it a ‘Cumulative Dozen’. The first time you will have dressed as I instruct and will stand whilst I tell you why you are being spanked, it might just be for the pure enjoyment of doing so. You will bend over the back of a chair and I will lift your skirt, if needed I will hold you in place between my thigh and my left hand. The first spank will land on your far cheek, then one on your near cheek. I will then change sides and spank each cheek twice. Then change sides and spank each cheek three times, and so on until I decide to stop, or I’ve reached a dozen per side. Each cheek of your bottom could have received 78 spanks by this time. You will then be told to stand facing into the corner, holding your skirt above your waist and forbidden to touch your bottom. After a short wait you will bend over again, your panties will be removed, your legs parted and I will repeat the spanking. If you struggle you will be put over my knee and have your arm folded into the small of your back. By this time your bottom will be red and sore so the spanks will seem much harder than they actually are.  By the time a dozen is reached this time you will might want the spanking to stop. However if you have struggled too much, or clenched your bottom muscles too often I may decide to continue to 13, 14 or perhaps 15. One finished you will stand in the corner again, forbidden to touch your red bottom that you will keep on display until I tell you can move. If I have collared you the process will vary, if you would like to know how then just ask.

The Yearning for Grounding: Finding Purpose in a Dominant Dynamic.. We all possess hidden desires, yearnings that often simmer beneath the surface of our carefully constructed personas. One such yearning, perhaps more common than we readily admit, is the desire to be truly seen, and subsequently, guided, challenged, and even, in a sense, controlled. This isn't necessarily about literal ownership, but rather a deep craving for structure, direction, and the secure boundaries offered by a strong, assertive presence.The idea of being objectified, used for amusement, might sound unsettling at first glance. But on deeper reflection, it can be interpreted as a desire to be a source of light and joy for someone else. To be valued, appreciated, even celebrated for what you bring to their life, even if that role is perceived as subservient. This isn't about self-degradation, but rather about finding fulfillment in serving a purpose, in bringing happiness to another.The reality of a superior mentor, a "Guiding Lady" as it were, nurturing and shaping your path, speaks to a fundamental human need for guidance and direction. In a world often characterized by ambiguity and overwhelming choices, the prospect of surrendering to a trusted individual who can provide clarity and purpose can be incredibly appealing. It's a desire to be molded, refined, and ultimately, helped to reach one's full potential. Finding such a person provides a safe haven, a space where vulnerability is not a weakness, but an opportunity for growth.The cornerstone of any such dynamic is trust. It's not merely about submission, but about placing your faith in someone who will act in your best interest, even if that means pushing you beyond your comfort zone. The hope lies in finding a true, committed partner who understands the nuances of this dynamic and can navigate it with integrity and respect. This requires open communication, clear boundaries, and a shared understanding of expectations and limitations.Ultimately, the yearning for a dominant guiding force speaks to a deeper desire for purpose and commitment. It's a search for meaning, for a role that feels authentic and fulfilling. It's about finding someone who can not only appreciate your offerings, but also help you to become the best version of yourself. This journey may involve vulnerability, introspection, and a willingness to surrender control, but the potential reward is a profound sense of belonging, purpose, and unwavering connection. The key lies in finding that "true trusted superior person" who can provide not just direction, but also unwavering support and unwavering faith in your potential.

Master's WritingsCreating a DynamicThe dynamic I want to create has its foundation in trust, open communication and pure honesty. These pave the way for how we relate to each other, how much of ourselves we will give and let go within the dynamic, and how safe we feel to be owned or to own another. The greater the foundation, the deeper the dynamic, and I seek genuine, tremendous depth.The best dynamics allow both kink and vanilla elements to flourish. Even in a total 24/7 dynamic there are vanilla elements that impact and are necessary to the health of the greater dynamic. To ignore this is to ignore the human you wish to create the dynamic with.Dynamics must be flexible and ever evolving. They are living breathing things when done correctly. They require nurturing, maintenance, and love, just as those who live within them do. As individuals, we all have needs. We evolve. We grow, and so too must dynamics. There must be flexibility to bend to whims of the moment, grow as the tastes and needs of the individuals evolve, and be reborn when people, situations and events take us off track.Finally, dynamics must reflect all participants. I seek a collaborative development of a dynamic where each has an appropriate voice, with opportunity to step outside of roles as needed for essential conversations to ensure none are forgotten as we build and rebuild our dynamic over time.Creating this dynamic has been my dream for longer than I can remember. But no one person can create this on their own. It requires another who feels this need as greatly as I do.

Something must be wrong with me I have wandered out amongst the wolves lately... I kinda knew what would happen but like everyone, I hoped for different... I hoped to find that hidden jewel standing in the shadows like I typically do, alas fools gold emerged... In my submission the power dynamic is very important, ( I do voice this upon meeting) I think it’s taken with a grain of salt but I communicate and try to warn of my insecure Self Protective Dominant Nature... I scream that I live my vanilla life in Top Space, I live there everyday, I have responsibilities there, deadlines, decisions, must do’s and I hold myself accountable to be all things and do all things... I can be quite aggressive in this world ( I’ve learned to live in ). I’m not sure these days if I’m actually conveying this or if it’s in my head .... Like a movie that plays in the background while you are thinking or doing something else. You say your a Dominant / Master or even Top... I say I’m looking for a part time arrangement because I’m married in an open relationship... He is not a Dominant / Master however he is my Alpha. I am given free license to fulfill my cravings as long as it doesn’t interfere with my marriage... ( I will admit pretty cool and I’m thankful) I love my Husband and I do serve him too ... not sure he understands it all the time but if it wasn’t for my submission to him, I would have ran a long time ago... He holds very strong with me and he does remind me of who is in charge... I then advise of my personality and my need to relinquish control but that a foundation must be built with me due to needing to trust you. I advise you about my role in my everyday life... Yes there is a lot about me ( sorry I’m so complicated) Then we start to get to know one another ... You agree this can be accomplished ... (Maybe in wishful thinking, we all have periods of that) you read my journals I’m open and honest with you. I speak of my short comings honestly I understand I’m a lot to take on ... I try to be as good as possible until you start to ask me questions or speak about techniques you don’t understand .... I try to explain. What I know ... I find out you have done no research in the lifestyle and have not reached out to anyone / or attended anything. The Power Dynamic shifts due to your lack of knowledge and I become the teacher .... Things then fall apart for me, I try to rationalize you are human and give you allowances for that .... but no I have periods of top space that go unchecked ... things crumble This is my journey ... this is why I walk away ... This is why you might see me out and then I disappear... I love this lifestyle but I will say it is the hardest thing to understand in my life... Each time this happens it takes a lot of me, leaving me empty, sad and like something is wrong with me .... Tags: (add) Aug 15, 2018

There is a mystical moment when two men meet and sex is in the air. They both know what they want but one is a bottom he may or may not know it. Then there is a moment of hesitation when after looking the object of his desire the hand extends to feel what his body is craving. Still if there is a little presumption of an ill understood machismo that hand moves slowly for what feels like an eternity. After contact caressing the phallus is not sufficient, but how to surrender? Finally, the top takes over, and firmly guides him to acknowledge his place, kneeling; and having the object of his desires close to the parting lips... Sheer poetry, bliss, sweet hesitation, and the ultimate surrender to open his mouth and forgetting the world around devotes his energy to please the object of his desire, his top, who allows the bottom to taste him deep and completely. They are not strangers anymore, the bottom has found his niche in the order of things, kneeling and giving up any pretense of control. From now on his domination is in the hands of his top.  

Right now this country has gone backwards. Most states have lost their mind.  Saying abortions for any reason is now going to be illegal.   Fine then child support from the day the woman finds out she is pregnant.  That means ½ the crib cost, the stroller cost, the swing cost, car seat, ¼ at least for rent when the baby will be.  ALL costs for a newborn baby.  Once born that means ½ the cost of the rent or mortgage where the child lives.  For example, if it is just the mother and 1 child in a 2 bedroom for 1000 a month, the child gets one of the bedrooms so has half the rent.  Then the mother pays her ½ and ½ of the child's.  That goes for the power, the car payments, the car insurance.  Things like daycare or food just for the child that is split evenly every month. If a MAN refuses to pay and has more than 1 kid that they are not fully supporting then the man is made to get a vasectomy

Coachvisits again           Coach came by for what I think was his second visit. He visited in December and this time we wanted to step it up a bit. He wanted fucked. He wanted my cum in his ass. In his words, he wanted treated the way he's treated women most of his life. Like an object for pleasure.   Since he had visited before, he clearly knew where to come and that he was going to be at the correct house. The first time that someone comes for a visit, I always meet them in the driveway. This time, I told him that I would open the garage door and he was to come into the garage. I told him that in the back of the garage, near the door entering the house, he would find a stack of milk cartons. On an empty milk carton was a printed sign.       "Useless pieces of human flesh must put all of their clothing in here before entering"         I told him that I may (or may not) close the garage door after he enters, but he is to be completely naked before entering the house.   As I saw his car pull down the driveway I opened the garage door. I'm sure his heart was racing. Probably beating out of his chest since he knew he was going to be stripping naked in the garage. He was probably praying that I would close the garage door and give him some privacy from the neighbors.   I heard him near the door entering the house and knew he was inside the garage. I waited a moment listening for some rustling of clothing being stripped off before I closed the garage door. A moment later he came thru the door naked as he had been instructed.   I was leaning on the couch playing with my cock. I beckoned him over as he dropped to his knees and took my cock in his mouth. I honestly can't remember but I think I had a white jockstrap on. At first I was making him lick, sniff, and suck my cock through the dirty jock strap. But eventually I removed it and threw it to the side.   He is a wonderful cocksucker. My already stiff cock instantly got harder as his tongue worked on my cock. Not that stripping in the garage wouldn't already remind him that he was nothing but my property during his visit, but I wanted to reinforce to him that he was absolutely sub human while visiting, so I put a dog collar around his neck. I grabbed the collar by each side and started guiding his mouth up and down on my cock.   His throat wasn't quite adjusted to the sensation of my cock yet, so as I pulled him deep down onto my cock he would gag. Of course this only made me chuckle at him. "Suck my cock, suck Daddy's cock, you know what to do, take that cock down your throat. Go ahead and choke on Daddy's cock."   His cock sucking skills are wonderful and after only being on my cock for a few minutes I felt the need to cum. But I had a lot more in store for him today. I pulled him off my cock and told him to lick my balls. I raised one leg so he could not only get to my balls but almost to my ass as well. Of course this only made me want to cum more.   Read the conclusion of the story at www.SirKel.top  

hii sorry to interupt if we have already been talking and perhaps "planning" on getting together i just felt this is a pretty important piece i must mention generally to anyonoe who visits my profile    first thank you if its ur first time on my profile :) heeehe  repeat offenders i well come anytime i love the attention id love to be ur piece of eye candy Heeehe which  i do got more pics but havent uploaded due to the delay that happens and i cant reallly offord a delay since im using this as my main source to escape ... thank you collarspace ;) please dont disappoint    okk so feminization the process which ive started and learned how much more i enjoy life as so. i began HRT and was shocked on the results and conviced this is exactly who im supposed to be :)  i was scared to fully flourish when i started since ii was still living at home.. mom; her druk dumb fukin BF; and my little borther. you could see why i was intimidated to allow HRT gracefully.... i was on and off of it,id say maybe 4months yes, then 4 months no. then 2 months yes. then 3 months no. then 1 month yes then mile stone; family fell apart.... hurts but they hurt me literally no reason.. i was caught in the crossfire of his drunk ass running outta beer money every week blamed me always went throught my stuff, talked shit about my panties would often throw away my CUTEST jean or the combination of cloths that blended my image so amazingly it would allow anyone; who saw me, immedatly know i was a sissy BUT NOT JUST ANY SISSY ;) --yeah would thow that out. iIt happed A LOT but like twice on my most cuties most amazing look that brought confidence and lust lol. okay so my "familly" offically fell apart about 45 to 65 days ago i think give or take ... it occured in about a two week hostile setting. which i wanted no part of because it originated between THEM!! yes i had nothing to do with it i even stayed away from home for days on end to let them deal with their own bullshit... however, out of the maybe 4-6 days that i did come back, cuz jesus i was tired of being out there! somehow the arguments were about me... saying i dont work i dont pay rent --- like umm excuse me ?? dont pay rent? ------------------------------{{{{oooo i love this song}}}--------  k sorry, where was i     --dont pay rent??? then hand me a bill..... nothing ... repeated bout 4 times and still no bill .. i HAD moneyi just wasnt gonna had it to them so he can turn around and just get more beer...  i did everything expect around the house AND MORE  spacifically to prevent any turmoil since yes i didnt pay rent BUT NOT cuz i couldnt lol ... no bill no rent stupid drunk [[[im sure i got completely off my main point but god i feel so good to vent i dont have anybody right now]]] yes totall off topic if your still reading dang i appreciate your intrest in me lol *blush blush      ok i remember what this topic was supposed to be about lol soo sorry went completey right field.. yes right field cuz im left handed >:P lol    i becan this journal entry cuz i wanted to inform those who have a chance in owning me at the moment their a 3 im considering witch one i just hope will be the right choice  fingers crossed   so this as ALL ABOUT FEMIZATION ohh and the whole artical up there does have a good purpose  When i began taking hormons, the fluxuation of on off onn off if you notice the ended with with 1 month on following a 3 month halt.... if you think about the proceess of my feminity you can picture about where im at in my appearance .... BUT WAIT IM NOT UGLY haha  im not ill thow a pic of me rn or send in a message cuz i dont wanna have to do that waiting period this website impliments uppon profile updates. sooooooo when i finally went back to see my doctor to FINALLY GET MY HORMONS again... stupid governer Desantez signed a bill that took into effect just the day BEFORE my appointment making it SUPER SUPER HARD not just for minors to get gender reassingment medication! my doctor straight up told me no! she will not give me my hormons because xyz...i was planning on getting a 4 month batch after explaining to her i was leaving florida to focus on myself and my tranisition... lol more like to focus on YOU and my transititon heehee ;)   theirs more to this but i chose not to disclose due to risk of prejudgmental dissisions, id say about 93% of you WILL MAKE regardless if you, think ur so mature or what not..   ((lol prejudgmental is that even a word? hahaha idk but sounded good there ;))   ** ooo i just notice my spell check wasnt doing its job... crap im sure when i reread this im gonna have to delete it dammit  enjoy the read and the insite of my current situtaion stay safe out there and masters/mistress/..potentual sissy owners.... [iSeeKu]  

This is just a quick PSA, I have filled out and returned my ballot, so you can stop all the TV ads and yard signs and news coverage now. Thank you.

They say you've found somebody new, But that won't stop my loving you.I just can't let you walk away,Forget the love I had for you. Guess I could find somebody, too,But I don't wan't no one but you.How could you leave without regret?Am I that easy to forget? Before you leave be sure you findYou want her (his) love much more than mine.'Cause I'll just say we've never met,If I'm that easy to forget. Before you leave be sure you findYou want her (his) love much more than mine.'Cause I'll just say we've never met,If I'm that easy to forget.If I'm that easy to forget. Jim Reeves .....1964

I wrote this as part of an introductory message to someone and think it was good enough to share here. "This is an alternative lifestyle to me There are several reasons, one is something that kind of bothered me at a young age I shoved thebad thoughts I had, I had even as a very young youth, thoughts that both horrified and fascinated meI used to justify my thoughts as not being cruel if what I did, I did to those who deserved it, like criminals etc What worried me was the sexuality I feltIt was much later in life, around 40 years ago I started putting it all together from a primal blueprint and social and religious pressure through to conditioning I was relieved to find a world I fitted, and its this world and learning to interact between the lifestyle and the vanilla world that I have been studying, learning, teaching and livingIts a strange world with so many dark and mysterious places."

December 9,2023 - Coaches first visit       First visit with "The Coach" today. I'm not sure, but I think the Coach is the closest thing to a completely straight guy that I've had visit me in a quite a while.   I seem to attract the bisexual guys who are dominant in their work but desire to be submissive to another male. And I think that was the case today.   Coach and I messaged on FetLife for a while, determining what he wanted and what his limits were. Then we set up a time for his first visit. It was going to be just after he had coached a game, so I was sure he would have a good mix of testosterone and adrenaline for his first visit.   The time wasn't exact since he didn't know when the game would finish. Around the time expected, he messaged me to let me know he was going to be on his way soon. I kicked back and watched some porn until his arrival.   Being his first visit, I met him in the driveway so he knew he had the correct house. I was wearing my long brown hooded bathrobe. His mind was probably already racing wondering what, if anything, that I was wearing under the housecoat.   We came inside and took a seat and instructed him to strip. As we had previously discussed as he stripped each article of clothing off he folded them neatly by his shoes next to the door.   He had a nice physique and I knew we were going to be having some fun. He was wearing a small cock cage. It appeared he was already straining against it. I remembered that I had instructed him to wear the cock cage during the game. I didn't verify if he has followed directions, or had put it on after the game. I walked over to the couch and grabbed two velcro wrist restraints. I grabbed one of his wrists and extended his arm and attached the velcros cuff. Then the other wrist, as I wrapped the velcro restraint making sure both cuffs were secured around his wrists. Then I retrieved a dog collar from the couch and put it around his neck. This at first, but then I loosened it a notch or two so it was fairly loose. I had plans, and wanted it a bit loose, almost comfortable. But I wanted him to remember, while he was here, he was property. A sub for my use.   Although I had warmed the house a bit, as I wrapped my arms around him from behind him and played with his nipples, I felt him quiver. I'm sure it was a combination of fear and anticipation causing him to quiver, not the temperature of the room.   Normally and make notes when someone leaves, but during today's visit I forgot. So my memory might not be 100% accurate on our activities since I'm writing this story over a week later.   Normally at this point, I sit back in my rocking chair and have they guy suck my cock for a while, but I remember that didn't happen today. And honestly, I don't remember why. Either something we had talked about, or something in my mind cause me to change things and we headed straight upstairs.   When we got up to the bedroom stripped the bathroom off. I was completely naked. I laid back on the bed and told him to come over between my legs and suck my cock. Without hesitation he climbed on the bed and latched on to my cock.   Although one part of me thinks that he is 99% straight, good Lord was he a great cocksucker. It makes me wonder if I'm correct or not. But during the conversations on Fetlife, that was the impression I had. But now that his mouth was on my cock, I was questioning my assumption.   I'm not sure what the hell he was doing with his tongue on my cock but it was incredible. Something about the combination of sucking and swirling and licking at the same time was great. In fact, it was too good. It had been a week or so since I had hooked up with someone and this felt so good, I felt that I could orgasm at any moment. So I told him to lick my balls.   Although I enjoy having a guy lick my balls, in this case the main reason I was having him lick my balls was to prevent me from having an orgasm. How sad would it be for him to arrive and not more than 5 or 10 minutes later have an orgasm and send him on his way.   So he licked at my balls for a while as I raised my right leg putting my knee in the air to give him greater access to my balls and taint. He was good at that also, but not as good as his cock sucking skills. Soon using both of my hands on the sides of his head, I lifted him off my balls and lowered him onto my cock again. The feeling was sensational. I just remembered that I kept murmuring, "oh fuck, oh fuck that feels great."   I grabbed his head and started pushing him deeper onto my cock. He gagged which made me chuckle. I think I growled something like, "oh yeah choke on Daddy's cock."   Part of the time I watched him bob up and down on my cock, part of the time I just threw my own head back enjoying the moment. I looked down and could see his cute bubble butt over his shoulders which only made my cock harder. I was planning to fuck that ass before he left tonight.   I wrapped my right leg over his shoulder onto his back. That just pulled him down onto my cock a bit more. With my hands on the back of his head and my right leg over his back I could force him onto my cock until his chin rubbed my balls. He was choking on my cock, completely under my control, completely submissive, doing exactly what I was telling him to do. I was giving him the fantasy that he was wanting.   I remember being quite verbal that day. Repeatedly calling him… daddy's little cocksucker, calling him… a good little fagot, but at the same time rewarding him by telling him what a good job he was doing sucking cock. Each time he choked I would give him a compliment like, "good Boyyyyyyyy" dragging the work out like I was rewarding a family dog. I watched as his head continued to bob up and down on my cock.   He would deep throat my cock until it was all the way in the back of his throat, then he would pull almost completely off and suck hard on just the head of my cock, swirling his tongue around, poking his tongue in my piss slit, then go back to deepthroating and choking again.   But now I had reached my threshold of my orgasm. If I can keep from orgasming past the first 5 or 10 minutes, I'm usually good for an hour. I'm not quite sure what that is, but once I passed that 10 minute mark I'm good for a while. And at this point, I was past my mark.   I started getting a little more rough with him. I reached down and grab the collar and gave it a bit of a twist, tightening it on his neck. Simultaneously I pulled the collar down, pulling him onto my cock. This did a bit of breath control, or breath restriction, while he continued to suck my cock.   I kept the color twisted until his body language was telling me he was at his limit on breath control. So I released the collar and I just laid back on the bed enjoying whatever in the fuck he was doing with his tongue. Oh my God, it was incredible.   I remember him repositioning himself, I think to get up on his elbows a bit. He slid his hands under my legs almost cupping my butt cheeks whereas before they had been on top of my legs, his forearms almost resting on my chest toward my nipples. Now that his upper arms were under my legs, I took the advantage and raised both of my legs onto his back. I crossed my legs locking them and behind his back squeezed his head between my legs.   With my hands, I forced him deep onto my cock. Then I tightened the squeeze of my legs holding him in place. No longer

  Have you had a threesome? One or two, mmf with the Mrs. Do you like sex toys? I do, they are pretty. Would you ever have sex with your best friend? I experimented as you do with a male friend who was transitioning m to f. Something that will never fail to make you horny? Blood of course! Favorite parts of the opposite sex? Legs all the way, lips, eyes. Favorite parts on the same sex? Package obviously lol, smile, lips.

Reading people posting in their journal about various system errors here  Then reading others complain about people's profiles not being honest, where the profile says they are ready to relocate but they aren't or where the profile says they are into something but they are not willing to do that. Now wondering if some of that is also system bugs. Like the people who list as one sexual orientation but when you look at their Looking For it's in conflict with their stated gender and orientation, including when it's cis.  Now just found someone's journal and then their profile says, QUOTE: I sometimes accidentally add someone to my favorites. Because I read your profile it means nothing. I accidentally tap a profile. END OF QUOTE I believe her. So there's errors and slips of the finger and typos and some system bugs. But that said, there's definitely lots of less than honest profiles too   Or forgetfulness. Here's a challenge, post your favorite or else your top 3 examples of things from profiles but they should be funny, to lighten the mood, not infuriating things, would be my suggestion. My own example is I have seen literally DOZENS of profiles that have a few words and saying they just joined and then they say they will quote SOON... soon they promise, they'll add more details..   Then you look at their profile and it's been here for years and years... haha. If it was just a handful okay but so many say that, they say they just joined and will add more very soon, but no updates. Or course I also hear about approval taking months for profile revisions so mabye that gets folks to be reluctant to update their profile. I'm reluctant myself for same said reason..

  Ode to Her First Locking   Her fingers, steady, hold the gleaming steel, A promise whispered, made to feel so real. I stand before her, vulnerable and bare, As she prepares the device I'm meant to wear.   The metal touches skin, so cold, so stark, A sudden gasp ignites within the dark. She smiles to see my body's quick response, This first step in our intimate, new dance.   Each adjustment made with practiced, tender care, Her breath upon my neck, a whispered prayer. The cage slides into place, a perfect fit, As I surrender all control to it.   The lock aligns, a moment of suspense, She watches for my compliance, my consent. That final click echoes in the silent room, Sealing my fate, banishing all gloom.   Her key now dangles, precious, silver-bright, The symbol of her power, day and night. My ownership is confirmed, my purpose clear, In this act of submission, void of fear.   My body now belongs to her alone, This cage of steel a comfort, not a groan. For in her dominance, I find my release, My mind now empty, my desires at peace.   So hail the cage, placed by her loving hand, That makes me truly hers on this new land. For in her control, I'm finally free, To be the man I'm meant to be, with thee.

What I am looking for: I would love to find an amazing submissive partner. This person should want to put in the time and effort it takes to become actual friends and form a real emotional bond. As in any solid relationship, this is not something that will happen overnight. If you lack patience or just want a quick hookup, I am not the One for you. The person in question should be local to me or able to visit on a very regular basis. What is most important to me is shared chemistry and emotional connection. I am not looking to rush into anything. Expect the process of getting to know each other and the vetting process to take TIME. Interested parties should be willing and able to communicate extensively through online methods. I prefer typed text to voice communication, but can verify that I am who I say I am if necessary. If you are someone who does not like to write words or who thinks saying 'hi' or telling me how attractive you think I am is a conversation, you won't stand a chance. My partner preference currently tends to swing towards cis women, trans women, and trans men, but I am pan and could be attracted to anyone if the right connection is there.Preferred Age Range - 30 to 50 Turn Ons & Main Interests: These are my "must have" vanilla and kink interests. While the exact dynamic of each relationship is unique to those involved in it, if any of this is a hard limit for you, we will likely not be a match. * Tease & denial * Orgasm control / orgasm denial * Massage (getting) * Cuddling & Physical Displays of Affection * Oral service * Laughter * Intelligence * Shared vanilla interests I've physically and mentally been through Hell over the past 5 or so years and need a partner who is truly service oriented, who will enjoy helping and caring for their Domme. I am completely willing to discuss this in detail with the right person. If you have fully read and understood my profile and journal, you may send me a polite message detailing why you are interested in serving me, how your vanilla and kink interests line up with my own, and a bit about yourself. Please also include the phrase "You remind me of the babe" so I know you actually read my complete profile. Bonus points if you know where the quote comes from.

we meet for the first time in 7 days  I hope this is the last time I meet a new Master and my search is over. So over being letdown for whatever reason. I'll always feel like we could've been great together and even though I understand why you ended it,it still hurts and my head is making sure I move forward.but my heart ..well it's still hurting and you will always hold a special place in it. But I'm so looking forward to this next chapter in my life and do far,it's been great..I've only fucked up once ..maybe twice. I'm not a perfect slave,I have serious hangups n they do surface sometimes and they do impact on the way I perform set tasks,but when I fail I own up and take responsibility  That said,I think some slack should be applied in a new relationship or agreement,I see massive differences between the Masters ive played with and been collared by and it's so much fun learning and experiencing these differences. I am eager to learn and experience all you bring to this relationship if you do decide to collar me,but if you do or don't,it has been a fun journey anyway.i sincerely hope your my forever Master,it's tiring trying to find a match,don't get me wrong it's fun chatting n getting to know people,but I know what I want and I'm over wasting my time .

"Switch"? ~ What it Means Pertaining to Me  I am not "a Domme" or "a sub", and definitely not a slave. I am a free woman with a generally dominant personality, who lives by Gorean principles and philosophies in real life, and also engages in BDSM activities. I tend to be "toppy" toward those on the more submissive end of the continuum, though I do usually at least defer to free men, and will conditionally submit to those I deem worthy of such. Apparently, the "switch" moniker is very confusing to some people, so I will go into detail here about what it does - and doesn't - mean, in my case. We'll start with the "doesn'ts", since those seem to be the most oft misunderstood. "Switch" does NOT mean:   I go back and forth from free to slave. It's a BDSM activity preference - not an indication of status. I am free. Period. Submitting to certain men or enjoying bottoming for some activities does not make me "a sub". It just means I enjoy a variety of activities, and that I am a woman who embraces natural order, so tend to show submissive traits in the presence of strong, dominant, free men, despite my mostly dominant personality. I will do/be/play whatever role you are seeking I'm not a fetish dispenser! Do not treat me like one. my role within any specific D/s dynamic is flexible It isn't. The boss is the boss, and stays the boss. The FC/sub/beta/slave/whatever s-type obeys. I "switch" between being/identifying as dominant or  submissive depending on my mood, the day, the phase of the moon, or any other whims.  I do not.  I am simply who and what I am. I relate to others depending on their place on the spectrum of dominance and submission as compared to mine, and, as appropriate, their status or rank as compared to mine. "Switch DOES mean (for me)  I enjoy both "topping" and "bottoming" in BDSM activities/scenes, regardless of D/s involvement (or lack thereof) at various times and with different people.  I respond in different ways to different people or types of people - Some people trip the dominant trigger, some trip the submission trigger, and some people do neither. That's just the way I'm wired. Telling me what I "should" do, or trying to demand, cajole, whine, bitch, or otherwise manipulate me into relating to you in your desired manner will backfire. Badly!  For a more in-depth look at the topic... The word, "switch", for me, is only a label for convenience. It doesn't encapsulate who or what I AM. I am a strong woman with a dominant personality and submissive tendencies. I believe in the natural order of things (more on that in a future post), and that D/s is not a clear cut, either/or sort of thing. Rather, dominance and submission are character traits on a continuum, which vary from person to person, with every person falling somewhere on the scale, creating somewhat of a hierarchy.  That means that a single person may be submissive or subordinate to some, whilst outranking or being dominant to others, at the same time.   It was recently compared by someone in a discussion to that of a wolf pack. I tend to agree with that allegory.  A pack will have an alpha male and, generally, an alpha female. The alpha female is the boss bitch, and she is dominant over the rest of the pack, but, she is still submissive to the alpha male, with whom the buck stops. She is still very much free to do as she wishes, and no one had best mess with her unless they are ready and willing to attempt to fight her, and potentially her mate, but she yields to him, because it is how they are biologically wired. The same is true, I believe, with humans. Another comparison is that to serving in the Armed Forces. A Drill Instructor is God to the recruits in their platoon, but if an Officer is on deck, that same Sgt. (or whatever) damn well better snap to attention and salute along with those recruits, and the C.O. (Commanding Officer) merits same from all of the aforementioned, going on up the chain of command right up to the Commandant, and then the Commander in Chief himself.  In neither of those comparisons, does an individual bounce between two or more separate "roles". They occupy their given role, and interact with others and the rest of the world accordingly, depending on those others' respective roles. They don't have to transition from one "mindset" to another, because they know their place in the larger scheme of things, and everything just flows naturally from there.  It is simply a fact that there are more than two "ranks" in life, and in nature. I will not separate out my dominant and submissive traits into separate "personas". They are not. I am me. I am a whole, integrated, complete person, with many different facets. I choose to embrace that. Neither will I "dumb down", pretend to be less than, submit, or pretend to submit to anyone, simply by virtue of their gender, status, or because they claim a certain title or position. I will start out being respectful to others, and will defer, to a degree, and maintain a submissive attitude with free men as long as they don't give me reason to do otherwise. From there, they will either earn my respect, and the added deference that may accompany it, or they will earn... something less, and I will do my best to at least remain civil, so long as they can avoid pushing me too far. Do not mistake a respectful demeanor, good manners, polite deference, or knowing my place in the natural order of things for outright submission. There is a distinct difference, and making assumptions is an unwise idea.

Since it is difficult to edit the Profile here, I will put most of my information into the Journal.If it is in ALL CAPS it means I have done this and am willing to do again, everything else I am interested in or willing to do or try.     ANAL SEXASS PLAYASS WORSHIP AtM                         BEGGING         BLINDFOLDS    BODY WORSHIP         BONDAGE                 Cages         CANDLE WAXCanes and CROPS         Chastity         CLOTHED FEMALE NAKED MALECLOTHED MALE NAKED MALE                 Cock and Ball Torture, CLAMPS, etc.COLLAR AND LEASH        Cross Dressing         Dildos (HANDHELD & Strap-ons)DOMESTIC SERVICE         Electrical Play         Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)Enemas         Eye Contact Restrictions         FACE FUCKFACESITTINGFEM DOMFOOD PLAYFOOT WORSHIP         FORCED BI         GAGSGINGER, FIGGINGHair Pulling         Hairbrush SpankingsHANDCUFFS SHACKLESHoods         HOUSEWORK SERVICE        HUMILIATIONICE CUBESInterrogation Role PlayJockstraps & UNDERWEAR used as a gagKidnapped Role Play         LICKING  MALE DOMMassage (GIVING)         MASTURBATIONMouthsoaping    Object Role Play    Open Mouth GagsORAL INTIMACY        ORAL SEXORGASM CONTROL AND DENIAL        OTK SPANKINGSOUTDOOR BONDAGE         PISS and scat play (Scat needs discussion.)Predicament Role Play         PUPPY Role Play         RIMMINGROLE PLAYING        Role Play CHATROUGH SEXSENSORY TOYS        Shaved Pubic Hair                  SPANKING/PADDLINGSPEECH CONTROL         SPITTINGSPREADER BARSStockings         STRAP & BELTTOYS & VIBRATORS                  WATERSPORTS    WHIPS     MY LIMITSThese are Hard Limits!  I am not willing to be pushed on these.No Under Age:  No one under 18!No Drugs: Of any kind, this includes poppersNo Blood: Yours or Mine!No Diseases or Similar:  Condom for anal unless you have a RECENT test results.No Asphyxiation or Breath PlayNo Cuts, Burns, Brands or Tats (On me!)No Injuries: I mean no broken bones, insertions (Sounds, etc) or ANYTHING that may require a trip to the ER!No Punching or Kicking:No Permanent Marks:  Nothing that will last more then a day or three. This INCLUDES writing and drawing on me!No Head or Body Shaving:No Public Play: Too many CC cameras and cell phones out there.  I do not want to be arrested or see myself on TV or the internet.No Pictures or Video, Live Feeds etc that show my face or identity.Though I am single, I cannot Host but can manage travel within reasonable distances.

I Don’t Know Where My Poppa Is: A Little Girl’s Song, An Adult Woman’s Pain   "Food & Liquor" by Lupe Fiasco has always hit different for me, but tonight, "He Say She Say" felt like it was speaking straight to my soul. "You see what his problem is He don’t know where his poppa is…" It’s one of those songs where the lyrics carry everything. No extra words needed from me. Just sitting here feeling it deeply—for the child in the story, for the mom trying her best, and how it translates to me as an adult woman with a little girl inside who never went away. Navigating a world where my core family of origin is my biggest enemy and the men I’ve tried to vet and sift through—the ones I hoped would be the real poppa—never came. It left both the adult me and little me saying the same thing: "I don’t know where my poppa is." "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" As you read the lyrics and listen to the song, imagine that this is what us women go through—what I go through: "Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" This lyric is repeated twice—once from the mom's perspective, saying "When my momma try to provide and I tell her that ain't your job," and once from the son's perspective, saying "When I try to provide and he tells her that ain't your job." For me, the adult me and the little girl—Little Jess—are saying this simultaneously, in one body, clearly, over and over. It’s deep. Like the Lupe Fiasco song I wrote about previously, "The Coolest," the dangers and the stories are all there. And yet, I can’t help but wonder—if men really evaluated what this is like when they pretend to step up and then leave horrendously, do they truly understand what this does? Not just to the adult woman they let down, but to the little girl inside, who they treated as a kind of Pied Piper, leading her into heartbreak. Lupe, thank you for songs like this. "I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me She said to him, "I want you to be a father He's your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and he's starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you he's a starver" "Starting to use red markers on his work His teacher say they know he's much smarter but he's hurt Used to hand his homework in first Like he was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know she see us Now he's fighting in class Got a note last week that say he might not pass Ask me if his daddy was sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick him up" "You see what his problem is He don't know where his poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "He's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since he was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that He don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when I try to provide And he say, 'Mommy, that ain't your job'" To be a man, I try to make him understand That I'm his number one fan But it's like he born from the stands You know the world is out to get him So why don't you give him a chance?" I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me So he said to him, "I want you to be a father I'm your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and I'm starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you I'm a starver" "Starting to use red markers on my work My teacher say they know I'm much smarter but I'm hurt I used to hand my homework in first Like I was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know he see us Now I'm fighting in class Got a note last week that say I might not pass Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick me up" "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" "To be a man, she try to make me understand That she my number one fan But it's like you born from the stands You know the world is out to get me Why don't you give me a chance?" It's like, I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave" Have you ever connected deeply with a song like this—one that feels like it speaks to both your pain and your strength at the same time? If so, which one, and why?

Here is an open thought. I am not on this site to find love. I have been loved, I have been engaged twice to the same man, that was a wild ride. I am not the type to have kids, however I can see myself adopting the runt of a litter who has no hope and a limited future and share my survival skills to make the runt the front runner in life.  I have always loved being the assumed underdog in life. I am a working professional so I will expect a man I try to connect with to be the same. I am not interested in a person's bank balance or assests, honestly none of my business. I do expect a man who is in my company to not be a cheap skate and I have met a couple. I am not expecting to be bought but I do expect if a man wants a BORN women who enjoys her feminity I should not have to spell out make an effort with flowers, make an effort with running the bath, make and effort with you see a pretty dress or skirt and think I know ONE women in my company who would look good in that. I appreciate men contact me and offer they want to be one of my two men but when I ask you to unmask yourself and tell me who you are, I want to know I am not inviting an unkept, unwashed, unclean, diseased, unemployed dread of society into my world or my bed. I don't think that is a hard ask. If you want to see my face not an issue, I do WhatsApp and you can even video chat for all I care but if you make me jump hurdles I will make you jump the same bar.   C

Have I been abused over my whole lifestyle experience?    I don't think I have, but it was brought to my attention that the reason I think the extreme harshness is normal is because to me it is. I get so confused when I'm asked questions or my opinions early on because from the 3 long term matters I had I didn't get that. It was instantly meeting and then I'm molded to what they desire without breaking my personality. a lot of it was in sex and pleasing them, being super respectful etc.    If my master gave me pleasure it was a reward, an honor, because it's not a given my pleasure.. His is a given. Always. So why am I so obsessed? I dunno..I honestly truly do not know why this is life is such a draw and a need for me when I know (I'm a smart cookie) that this isn't a nice relationship. I just know I crave it. The butterflies in my stomach, - when I'm given a command it almost ferments in my brain and when I complete the task it feels like a pressure is released.. Now I have the world poorest memory so I'm forgetful af, so I might forget the task if it's something that needs to be completed in the future lol   I don't think I was abused. I crave that intensity today and won't be happy if it's not a constant thing. My body moves on its own sometimes. I'm lippy. No I think it was good teachings and what I deserved at the time.    I met someone new. We talked for hours and next day met. It was all pretty fast. He said if it doesn't keep this pace ... I'm a runner...I'll leave and... He's right. I'm fucked up. I get in my head and I overthink everything and then I get headstrong and stubborn. I don't know if it's real.. Again it was mostly talking with some fun times and lots of correction and reframing my mind. It was fun yesterday. Was it enough? Is this what it's always gonna be like?    I dunno. I dunno.

I had one of those dreams that takes you all over the place (takes has an s because the subject is one, not dreams- grammar is important). I actually knew all of the key players in this dream, that almost never happens. It was all family. Started out at some kind of a community pool that was right next to a prison. Random, I know. My brother was playing catch with some kid in the pool using my dog's ball. Of course the ball bounces out of the pool area and over the fence into the space in front of the prison. Can't get it. I decide I'm going to ask the guard in the tower with the gun if it's okay to go around and get my dog's ball, but right then all the sirens go off and someone is escaping. The pool transforms into the house we're all staying at with a bunch of sliding glass doors right there. I'm freaking out and trying to close and lock the doors because the escapee has climbed the fence and is about to come into the house. And he does. His name is Han and he sits down with us and eats some pie that my sister made. The pie is terrible. But then my parents show up and it's a big game of pretend Han didn't just escape and we also don't have completely working electricity so fake them out with switches and light bulbs. I think at that point it morphed into this whole trying to set me up with this guy who happened to stop by situation, and now we're at my grandmother's house. They all love him. I do not. He's a nice guy and all, but just not for me. Blah, blah, blah, details, and then it's Christmas and an entirely different house I don't know, but my family is there and someone bought me another puppy. It's small and brown and although his name is Jelly Bean I rename him Buffalo Bill. He's running all around chasing cats and having a good time. Phone call from my grandmother because I made her cookies turns into a tech support call for a gift she got. She's dead, by the way. I don't often dream of her but here she is. Blah, blah, family stuff. I don't remember the reason but my brother and I end up outside searching for something down the street. Not the dogs, something else. We don't find it and as we walk back to the house the door is wide open. We're concerned. Go inside, inquire, and my fucking step father left the door wide open and didn't know it. None of the animals got out but son of a bitch if that isn't par for the course right there. More weird stuff happened but I'll stop there. Buffalo Bill? I guess it's not impossible. I mean, it was my dream, right? But so random. The real puppy is doing the heavy sleep breathing a few inches from my head. I both love when she's close and find it annoying that I can't move around the way I tend to because she's blocking me. She is extra cute, though, so right now I'm going to give her kisses and try to sleep for a little before the alarm. 

a fresh bdsm test for you: == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Exhibitionist  100% Submissive  100% Girl  91% Degradee  88% Experimentalist  84% Ageplayer  84% Rope bunny  82% Primal (Prey)  80% Slave  69% Brat  65% Masochist  58% Voyeur  42% Vanilla  37% Pet  36% Non-monogamist  0% Switch  http://bdsmtest.org/r/PyvQrePt

The everyday sized dick Dicks I remember - A (soon to be) collection of the dicks that have made an impression over the years.Here is one about my most recent boyfriend. Now ex.When we first met he had troubles keeping it up with a condom on. I made him practice and only allowed him to wank with one on until it wasn’t a problem. It would later come in handy as I could easily pour his cum where I pleased.

 In his ass, on his face.His cock was average. I came to enjoy it. Especially for tease and denial and long sessions. Fuck for a bit. Have him pause. Sometimes with a ruined. Or to be honest, most times. And then back at it at my pleasure. He could never make me sore, hence a good size for the everyday, several times a day.He knew that I needed something bigger and hotter from time to time though. And that my previous partners were well better equipped. We once scouted together at a sex club but none was big enough to pique my interest. I felt generous so I allowed a man to use my boyfriend’s mouth and ass though (a side dick to remember).I did really enjoy his obedience. He always needed my permission to orgasm. He did good except from one time when I rode him on a chair. We were in a communal space and I sat on his lap, back towards him. The view of my ass, the excitement from possibly getting ”caught” and me not slowing down made him cum hard and without permission. I think he felt equally ashamed and satisfied. I let it slip. I really wanted to be filled.

Creating a Space That Feels Like Daddy’s Embrace       an ingredient list of the nurturing daddy vibes. a casual share. waterfall sounds. crystal bowls..check the blue archangel michael and masculine color used by the youtuber. performed by a guy as well. essential oils of immunity boost blended with palma rosa in the essential oil diffuser ultimate music of silly chill nurturing daddy vibes kurt vile.bassss asssssssss ackwards cozzy robe(mine is blue as well) weighted elephant blanket fuzzy long rabbit to imitate: a hug, a touch, a smell, a holding, a cheek to cheek cuddling a wrapping your body around and feeling a resonance. heartbeat to heartbeat. human touch. What are some of your go-to comfort rituals or items that make you feel safe and cared for? What sounds, textures, or scents remind you of being cared for or feeling at peace? Does anyone else have a favorite song or sound that makes them feel completely held and comforted?

I met someone recently who was so different than any experience here to date. I felt seen. It's truly a scary thing, when you hide between what you put to paper and what you keep to yourself. You don't really think anyone will notice, but you sort of hope someone does, but maybe from a safe distance. He noticed. He read everything I ever wrote here, told me his thoughts and speculations, shared some of his writing. He got goofy with me. It was just about the best everything someone could do in my book. He shared vulnerabilities with me, too. I felt valued. I felt comfortable. It made me want to be brave, at least a little. But things can change quickly. I don't know if he took it for more than it was or if something else happened, but he's gone. Maybe I said the wrong thing. Maybe he was moody. Whatever it was, we were not in sync that day. Part of me feels like one not-so-great conversation shouldn't outweigh the rest, especially in the beginning. The other part remembers that what is meant to be will always find me. He was pretty wonderful. Maybe he will find me again, and maybe we will hold patience for each other enough to find out. Maybe someone else is waiting around the proverbial corner. There is never a shortage of men. But good men, those are harder to come by. I needed some time after the liar. I think I'm ready again. 

110224 The gall of the so called experienced male domestic household servant types - more often then not seeking their next victim for exploitation.  They play to anothers desires, and build a repetiore of information on the women of CollarSpace.  Women tend to be sharing types and often give personal information about family, friends, work, pictures, personal tastes, you name it, and those parasites - they seek it and FEED OFF of it. It is a dangerous person who asks without giving, seeks without meaning, uses for their own desires and has no ability or intention of follow through.  Deception at their core. They leave a bad taste in ones mouth and give good, well intentioned men a harder time of it. When you think of a man here who has literally thousands of screen names - just popping off down the list of his many names, daily, monthly, whatever, in every state, every country, COUNTLESS IDENTIES, throwing out a line to this woman and that, all around the world, gathering sensitive information - critical I imagine sometimes - it is frightful to think of the power this person holds behind the scenes.  Who is he?  Who does he associate with?  How does he use this information?  It would be great to think his antics here are for amusement only, but I can assure you there is nothing amusing about being duped.  There is nothing amusing about someone sharing intimately, gaining your trust, building false beliefs in them.  Nothing amusing about a man submitting himself to you through your desires and through your need.  Imagine a man who says, "hey your mother has Alzheimer's and I have personal and meaningful connections with people who can help - I can help - If you permit Me to serve you to the best of My ability, I will help care for and provide for the well being of your dying parent."  I know - if it sounds to good to be true, then it is.  Still, when you are in the thick of confusion and the unknown, that is when these parasites go in for the kill! WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT?  iS THIS ANOTHER FORM OF EDGE PLAY TO BE EXPECTED IN THESE PARTS?   It is lying, it is fraud, it is deceit at its basest level and it is promoted here thorugh this medium.  I enjoy CollarSpace - I really do appreciate the opportunity which is afforded in order to meet people of similiar mind.  I am grateful for the men I have met who continue to add joy and benefit to My life.  I don't know how to fix this aspect - the preying aspect - the illness which spreads and infects. It is unfortunate that sad lost souls such as this british parasite continue to use this as a feeding ground for their sorry existence and thus I shall continue to attempt to educate others here.  I am a formidable woman and the likes of this cockroach wont undo Me, but I do feel for My sisters and brothers deserve better. Dont we do that which we do to feel better, to give and take more, but where is the ethics behind using another person, AGAINST THEIR WILL?  

Why I don't want to have a sexual relationship with a domme... I've been here since it was called CollarMe, not Collarspace.  A long, long time.    I'm not a shlub.  I'm in reasonably good shape, take care of myself, can articulate my thoughts and treat everyone with respect.  So it's been relatively easy for me to meet dominants and I've met several over the years.  Unless it was a one-time meeting for specific scene play, every relationship I've had that started here ended up being entirely sexual in a "might as well be vanilla" fashion with no or next to no domination.   Once I sleep with you, you won't dominate me in any serious way if you ever intended to in the first place.  Or if you do, it will be "30 shades of yawn".  I have that situation going on right now with a domme I met on Fetlife.  Oh, the sex is amazing, but if I just wanted sex, I would join a dating app and I could have it every night of the week with a much wider selection of partners.   I want to be throroughly humiliated, subjugated and degraded in (as I say in my profile) some very specific ways. That's not something you're going to be able to do to me if we're having an intimate relationship.  Trust me.  Once those actions and the associated feelings are involved, you won't be capable of treating me the way I want to be treated.  I need someone who can see me for what I want to be, which is a means to an end for them.  I need someone who understands the concept of "mutually beneficial relationship" but can separate that from a sexual relationship.  What happens if your vehicle has a problem?  You take it to a mechanic.  You don't need to have a loving relationship with the mechanic to get the vehicle repaired.  You bring in the vehicle, he repairs it, you take care of him and go on with the rest of your day.  That's the extent of the relationship and it's fine.  Everyone gets what they want.  I think a lot of dominants on this site who genuinely have some hardcore dominant tendencies that delve into the sadistic side are trying to find everything in one person, and that's a shame, because it's a two way street.  Certainly not all kinks are acceptable to all people so not all dommes are compatible with all subs (and even if they were, we all have our aesthetic preferences) but for those who really want to put someone in their place, that will be better and far more thoroughly accomplished if that place isn't also in bed.  

Chickens and eggs, carts before horsesBigSigh .. 1st visit, Excellent.  2nd, smh .. Idk which was more detrimental,The combo of miscommunication and misrepresentationor My own error in not insisting on sticking to My original plan anywayBut was led to believe it would be integrated ..  however, wasnt .Then today a previously hidden but suspected piece of the puzzle was revealed, and now the whole pictures clearer, but lost much of its allure.. Shame, bc the issues wouldnt have been issues if theyd just been discussed, and or handled better. Wish it all had been .. ah well.. smh .. hindsight sux Only bright side Im capable of coming up with atm is; they keep weeding themselves out quick as spit 

Most any store you go into now asks you to take a survey when you leave so they know how they can improve. A lot of websites, social media groups, blogs etc, will belittle someone leaving who dares to give feedback about just why. "It's not an airport, you don't have to announce your departure".Those kinds of snarky remarks and the childish attitudes of the users,  are often the main reason someone will decide to cease participating in any particular group. Apparently, those managing these sites don't really care why people stop coming back.I myself don't announce my leaving or the reasons for it, I just go. Sometimes I'll check back in a year or two to see if that bunch of people still exists online and often it is gratifying to see that my judgment was correct and the group is dead or almost so.Now, I'm not planning on leaving CS, but I would like to give some feedback if the owners ever read these journal entries. This site is nearly stagnant and I think the long wait to approve a new profile or change an existing one has a lot to do with it. It's a huge turn-off and block to new members, many of whom will leave if they're not able to participate quickly and will probably forget they even created a profile here after a couple of weeks.So, it's the same people here every time. Nothing against any of them, but if they weren't interested in me the last 25 times I was online, I don't think they are gonna leap to to get to know me anytime soon. We need new blood here to keep things moving or CS risks becoming another uninteresting, moribund website.Okay, it took a long time for me to get there but it's been said. Back to surfing.    

At the end of 24 - 2025 .. I’ve stepped away from this platform before and return with intention—not curiosity, not games. I’m interested in real-world compatibility, emotional maturity, and mutual respect, not fantasy hopping. I seek a man who understands this lifestyle, is committed to it, and can actively participate in a stable vanilla-blend partnership.

Hi to anyone who reads this. My profile page is blank because, when I first joined,  I had a problem,  I wrote about myself but for some reason,  I kept getting timed out and lost all that I had written.  I thought that I would do it later but, when I saw how long it took to get approved  I didn't want to wait that long again.    I am a straight guy with a good sense of humour, trustworthy, honest, loyal and very sincere in my search for a Dominant woman in a long term FLR relationship. I'm easy going eager to please,  love doing and pleasing,  I'm actually happiest when I'm doing things for others,  it gives me great pleasure in doing so.  I am willing to under go any training a Dom may have so that they could shape me to fit all of her wants, needs and desires.  I realise that some punishment would be needed to speed up any training program she may have, or even except the torture and punishment just for amusement.  Hopefully there is that special lady out there thats searching for me. I have good domestic skills and some d.i.y skills. 

I am having a fun break until 2th January then back to manuscript editing. 4th January I reintroduce keto and steps, later back to yoga. I can't wait to get supple and increase my stamina again. February I will back weight training,  I have all sorts of free weight dumbells in my home so I can concentrate on reps before form to rebuild what went last year. No suitable driving submissives, as all that applied were newbie bottoms, when it's two years experience in BDSM, FLR and driving/having a car I want. I miss the web site Servants4U for that site had plenty of respectful gentleman submissive guys with at least five years experience. But many left the community once covid hit and haven't returned. What a pity. Today I am off to the nail salon so new pics of my nails will likely be on Fetlife.com for those who enjoy a Lady with carefully manicured nails. What a New Year 2024 is in store! Make it a fun one now!!

 ROFLMAO! Some moronic dumbinant just messaged me with pre-emptive butthurt and then immediately blocked me. It was against the site's TOS to paste others' messages into a profile or journal entry last time I edited my journal. It looks like that has been taken out again, but just in case, I'll summarise his idiot message instead, and share my reply that I typed, only to find myself blocked. He took the time out of his assuredly busy day to tell me that if I had read the site TOS, I would know why my links were rejected (a reference to my profile). My intended reply: "If you read the actual statement I made, you would know that the links themselves were not rejected, but that there is a limit to the number of links allowed in a profile. Any particular reason you are messaging a complete stranger just to attempt to throw shade?BTW, you used the wrong your. You're welcome."   I think he didn't like how my profile has limits and boundaries and stuff, which automatically preclude him from ever having a whisper of a chance. His profile consists of a couple lines demanding potential property be local or pay to relocate themselves, the typical, lazy, "feel free to ask any questions", in leiu of any actual bio, and has no interests selected, and his two journal posts consist of bitching and whining about submissives have standards.  One is about those who want to know what the prospective dominant brings to the table, advising all said subs that we don't belong in the lifestyle, and we should get out, and that any doms who tolerate such are "simps" The other laments subs whose profiles stipulate any limitations, such as excluding those with certain political or world views (the ones he specifically mentioned are usually to weed out bigoted assholes. Go figure). Charming fellow. I'm so sad that I missed out his domliness due to my totally unsubmissive insistence on not submitting to any old random loser on the internet.  

The Lighthouse Within: Illuminating Love and Power in Dynamic Union I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this i tweaked this song with a higher pitch and a faster beat to really get into a deeper and more fulfilling emotional space than the song was. however, i am moving most of my platforms to something more professional ish and don't want to deal with the copyright. just know if you pitch it up and move it to a faster speed it's a different experience that is. beyonce's voice sounds more childish, impish, and little girl ish. a emotional and mental state i can resonate with more fully as an adult and little girl. the jayz voice sounds more of a stronger timber and more of a high hit on the drum sound....something more direct and focused and intentional and intense. the sounds in the background that are celebratory sound grander. the piano sounds angelic and full of joy, uplifting, something literally awesome. awe·some /ˈôsəm/ adjective extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear. something other wordly, something in the clouds, something more expansive than earth ever can be. Uh, uh, uh This (uh, uh) is (uh, uh), ouu! Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like, "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love Representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still) I put it down for the 713 and we still got love for the streets (ow!) We played it cool at the pool of the Cancun, VMA Confidence you exude make the fools stay away Me, I played the room, let the fools have they say Fate had me sitting next to you on the plane And I knew straight away, uh The next time we would speak was like two years away You had a man, you shut it down until you two had a break I bet that dude rued the day You kept me up on the phone while you were away You came back, I let you set the date, Nobu on the plate I brought my dude to play it cool, my first foolish mistake Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this Queen, I ain't mean no disrespect But the way I network, it's hard for me to connect My first time in the ocean went exactly as you'd expect Meanwhile, you going hard, jumping off the top deck A leap of faith, I knew I was up next I never told you, but I told a few people we wed Me, I'm off to Rome, you going back home instead My first time in my life a live nigga felt dead You came back, I had to act like it was cool in my head Thoughts of jumping the broom, a player never been swept Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) To all the good girls that love hustlers To the mothers that put up with us To all the babies that suffered cause us We only know love because of ya this song talks about still being from where you are from. the 713. this song doesn't need to be decoded as deep as others. it's a tale of two bodacious bombastic people. i see it in the daddy dominant and little girl personality and identities. strong, powerful, like greek gods in sculptures running the world. pushing the line between safe and da

He didn't mince words.  "Let me see you in make up" My hands trembled as I spread some foundation on my face. Being watched made the experience more nerve racking.  Twenty minutes later, I turned towards him, hoping for approval. He studied me for a moment, then smiled kindly. "Not bad for a first attempt. But it's not you yet." I looked in the mirror. The eyeliner was uneven, the lipstick too bold, and the blush sat awkwardly on my cheeks. "So... start over" he said. i wiped it all away. Again. And again. And again. Each attempt grew more natural. My hands steadied. The lines became cleaner. The colors softer. Nearly two hours later, I turned to face him once more. This time, he nodded with quiet satisfaction. "There you are," he said. "Not because it's perfect—but because you finally stopped rushing and started seeing yourself.  From now on, this is how you will see yourself. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, unsure of who exactly was looking back at me.

  Paraphrasing, of course. "Dear beautiful and intelligent Domina, here is a long detailed message outlining why I'm a good candidate to move across country and serve you in all the ways you want despite being 20 years your senior. Let's have a discussion in a live chat so we can get to know each other and see if we are compatible." 20 minutes of conversation that suddenly stops for 9 hours with no warning later- "Well, I don't keep my phone on me all the time. I have stuff to do." Because of course, walking away mid discussion without saying 'hey, I need to go do something' or even having the courtesy of admitting 'hey, I'm not feeling it, but I appreciate your time' would take too much effort.  Age does not always mean wise and being raised in the older generation still doesn't mean they have manners.  This is what you guys are up against - proving you are the pearl in a sea of dregs. 

I will eventually complete my profile but as it requires approval for every change I will do it once when I know exactly what I want in it.   In the meantime I will add a bit about myself through this journal.  I am 57yr straight male living in Surrey. Personality is natural Dominant but not really in a heavy bondage way, I am more what you would call controlling. There is nothing wrong with those who like pain inflicted on them and I do feel strongly about HOH head of household where the Dominant partner will discipline there significant submissive partner been by some agreed form of punishment. What I am trying to get across is that when needed I can deliver a spanking but it is not something I do to gain any form of pleasure. If anything I would much rather decide what one wears for me especially if we going out. One thing for sure I do appreciate lovely bright red nails For now I am here just to make friends and chat, if we get along over a period them we can take it from there. I will add some updates again soon, as the photo issue I will add to a message if and when we chat, once I have myself organised and update my profile I will attach them there but for the time been they can come with messages.

he House Doctrine of Master George Part 2 of 2 ( you should read part 1 first) A Journal Entry for the Instruction of Slaves and the Record of My Household Philosophy House Principles The following principles govern daily life here: Obedience is Immediate – Commands are executed without delay or question. Respect is Constant – Tone, body language, and actions must always reflect the honor of this house. Service is Sacred – From the smallest chore to the most ceremonial duty, every act of service is performed with devotion. Discipline is a Gift – Correction is not punishment for its own sake, but a tool to refine you into what I desire. The Master’s Word is Final – My authority is absolute in all matters. The Nature of This Life Slavery, as I define it, is not a role that can be “turned off.” It does not begin when you kneel and end when you stand. It is constant. It is lived in every breath, every movement, every thought. It is not about chains, though chains may be used; it is about the mental and emotional bond of ownership. The gift you offer me is your complete surrender. In return, I give you stability, belonging, protection, and purpose. I will push you harder than you think you can endure — and in doing so, I will reveal to you a strength you never knew you had. Final Word To be my slave is to step into a life defined by clarity and purpose. It is to give up the burden of aimless decision-making and take on the honor of service. It is not a life for the weak, nor for the half-committed. But for those who are ready, the rewards are beyond measure. When you kneel before me, you do not kneel in defeat. You kneel in acceptance — and in that acceptance, you will rise to become exactly what you were meant to be.   Signed, Master G

  Enjoy breath play particularly during oral as well as being an overall submissive. Not only just in the bedroom but with him in general; taking notice of his interest and hobbies. Using that to find ways to please him until he feels satisfied with the disappearance of nuance stresses that plague all of us everyday. Having a Dom relax and not worry what he does or says and takes a breather without having to refocus on his sub and their needs is what I like. I get along well with confident dominant types. Smooth/trimmed body with a large smooth bubble butt. Thick 7in circumcised with low hangers. Into 1950's D/s servitude lifestyle of doting and pamperingEnjoy being slightly bullied, pushed around, asked to do things/chores, under foot, subservient younger bro/Dom Big Scenario with a Straight Guy - Happened over time when my straight friends noticed I'm passive with them. Sometimes I open up and they roll with it. Nothing too crazy when we're out and about but they say its nice to know I'm the bitch in the room.

052426 Oy! Such fragility amongst some members.  Not ALL  men, but SOME men have been so PAMPERED, so sheltered in this life that they believe ALL WOMEN are there to serve their understandingS and expectationS.  I serve God, Me, Mum, and My cat lol  You are last on a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg list. I am NURTURING, KIND and hold HIGH EXPECTATIONS.  You will work to be PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY 100% available in My presance or you will not be in My life.    If you are interested in serving Me, we will need to get to know one another through speaking by phone. I am available SUNDAY THROUGH THURSDAY AFTER 6PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME AND THROUGH BLOCKED PHONE, CHAT/MEET OR TEAMS, and WITH ADVANCE NOTICE. I dont sign in daily and sometimes not for weeks at a time.  If we speak once and then dont speak again for several months, WE ARE STARTING OVER. Keep it real people.  Keep it real.      

I prefer to take thing, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission Plus permission can be hard to come by. Why now just take it and break it into what you want  Just be comfortable with yourself in skin.   Anything can be beautiful with confidence 

52 master Alpha Male straight master willing to training a cis girl sub slave in London uk for 50s life style LTR ... I am a master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole), not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to training one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed(with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!.I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake ! -do please answer at this questions to show real interest or if not you just another fake . -your General Location -Ease of Relocation (to include any obligations you currently have in your current situation that may complicate relocation) -Disclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related -Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons why -Link to face pictures Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons whyDisclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related Contract For Male Dom Master & cis female slave "Slavery" ContractOf my own free will and out of a desire to express my love and devotion to the cis man I love and adore, I offer myself in slavery to my Master only for the period beginning on __________ and ending at noon on_____________. or life. Although I consider myself to be a slave full-time to Master, during the time period expressed above, I will devote myself completely and totally to the pleasure and desires of my Master, without hesitation or consideration of myself or others. General Rules The slave agrees to obey her Master in all respects. her mind, body, heart and time belong to Him. The slave accepts the responsibility of using her safeword when necessary, and trusts implicitly in her Master to respect the use of that safeword. If a condition arises in which the slave needs to use the safeword or gesture, her Master will assess the situation, and determine an appropriate course of action. The slave shall keep her body available for the use of her Master at all times. In addition, the slave agrees that her Master possesses the right to use her body and no one will be allowed to touch or use the master property (= slave)The slave shall demonstrate her acceptance of her role of service and availability at all times while at home and at other times and places specified by her Master. The slave acknowledges that her Master may use her body or mind in any manner He wishes within the parameters of safety. He may hurt her without reason to please Himself. The slave enjoys the right to cry, scream or beg, but accepts the fact that these heartfelt expressions will not affect her treatment. Further, she accepts that if her Master tires of her noise, he may gag her or take other actions to silence her.(only the safeword will stop the master action) The slave will answer any questions put to her honestly and directly, and will volunteer any information her Master should know about her physical or emotional condition. While her Master expects His slave to speak honestly and forth rightly about anything that bothers her, she is not to interpret that as permission to whine or complain. she will phrase her concerns politely and respectfully, and then gracefully accept her Master's judgment in these matters without further complaint.(=unless the safe word is pronounced) The slave will always speak of her Master in terms of love and respect. She will address Him at all times as either "Master" or "Sir," ( see Public Rules of Conduct) The Master may give the slave "free periods" in His presence during which the slave may express herself openly and freely. There will be no punishments applied during "free periods." It is understood, however, that the slave will continue to address her Master with respect and love at all times and that deviations from this rule are subject to punishment at a later time.

Master's WritingsCategorizing Levels of SubmissionOthers, in an attempt to categorize submissives, have described submissives by the levels of their submission, moving from role play to slave, while others suggest there are distinct categories of submission, where the motivation behind one’s submission drives their role such as for fantasy, relationship and/or fetish. Acknowledging that all submissives are different and any such categories could only apply in the loosest of terms, I find both model instructive in its own way, yet somehow missing the mark in some aspaspects.The creators of both models clearly identified that each individual submissive is unique and comes to their submission and depth of submission in their own way for their own purpose. And to this, I completely agree. Yet we are humans and we live to label things, so I will offer my own model, recognizing full well that mine too will fall short of describing all submissives and their motivations. I would also note that what I suggest here may have already been put forth. If so, I offer this only as my own ideas without the knowledge of their contribution to our body of knowledge. Thus I would offer a third model for consideration and discussion.I see it more a kin to the structure of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs, Where Maslow identifies our most basic needs, moving from basic survival to self-actualization, I see submissions moving from role play to self-realization. The model I put forth is as follows:     Role play. A connection to the role based on whatever preconceptions or second hand knowledge they may have. While one might act the part, they have no emotional or mental connection to the role.     Exploration. The beginning stages of submissive awareness where thru trial and error or training, real experiences begin the development of a connection to a submissive’s awareness and one's submissive self. This level usually includes an over indulgence or over compensation of doing what they think a sub "should do".     Connection. The birth of inner connectedness to one’s submissive self, and the realization of what it feels like to give of one’s self to another. Hallmarked by a greater sense of self awareness, a growing identity as a submissive and a struggling to reconcile their submissive life with their vanilla life.     Identity and Belonging. The inner awareness and shift of self-identity as a submissive or having submissive side (as in a switch), as a genuine and acknowledged part of their persona. While they may not share this openly with others, inwardly there is a growing conviction that being a submissive is core to their being. While connection can occur at any stage, at this stage, connection to a Dominant becomes more essential to allow for further growth.     Confidence. As identity as a submissive grows and self-esteem relating to the role increases, their confidence of self grows. The focus can now be more inward to understand their submissive needs, who they are as a submissive, and the beginning of blending their submissive self into their vanilla life and identity.     Self-Realization and Connectedness to their Id. Full acceptance of their new identity, as submission is fully integrated into their sense of self. Submission can now fuel their lives and relationships with greater meaning and richer experiences as they fully integrate their submissive-self into their vanilla life. Not every submissive will reach or choose to reach this level. I would welcome comments and ideas for the improvement of this model if others see value in it. 

To clarify my position. I'm seeking a Master/Dom over 65, for a deep meaningful relationship built on genuine connection and commitment. If your interests are solely focused on fetishes and kinks, without deeper emotional and mental involvement, we're not truly suited. I desire a partner who needs to lead and control; someone for whom this dynamic is real and needs the feeling of D/s in the background. I'd like to support and focus on him, meaning I'm not a completely passive doormat.  My ideal situation is a lifestyle rooted in the nature of HoH, TiH or TPE. It's the natural path for me. Take my hand. I will eagerly follow :) The information below is added here because this site has glitched my weight, showing it in kgs, instead of lbs. Size UK12-14 (not US). 10st 5lbs. Thanks 

At Her feet… …a place to kneel in devotion …a place to listen attentively …a place to adore Her mind …a place to worship Her body …a place to understand a lesson …a place to feel home …a place for so much more…

Hello everyone...  subMeghan here. As rerquired by my dom, as I type this I am sitting here naked, except for my dog collar and glasses...  what else is new... I had an interesting chat with a user here and I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty terrible submissive.  The problem is that I am a sub for my dom, and only my dom.  I am not your sub.  My dom has directed me to be polite, not submissive, towards you all.  For us it is role playing. So, not only am I not a 24/7 sub, I am not inclined to behave like a sub unless I'm with my dom. So the dilemma for me is, How should I interact with you all?  I've taken the approach that being a sub is like my "job", and that when I'm here, I'm off work.  I'm not working, but perfectly happy to talk about my job. I don't think this approach is working out to well...  and I think that a lot of times my one on one interactions with you all are not satifying. What do you all think?  Should I modify my profile?  If so, what should it say? I'm really interested in what you all think.  Send me a message, and let me knbow what you think?   subMeghan  

Why is it that some people who put dom on their profile think they can  automatically send rude and disrespectful messages to a submissive person? Do they honestly think submissive type person equals to no brain?  I'm submissive not a doormat to every tom, dick and harry LOL. My Master has earned my Trust, Loyality and Respect!!! and has my total submission!!!  I treat others respectfully however, I do NOT submit to others unless of course my Master wishes it so. With that said IF anyone decides to message me please keep it polite.  I have no wish to see your photo's and neither do I want to be spoken down to. I'm somewhat intelligent and can hold a decent conversation.  I'm just a normal everyday type of person who just happens to naturally have a need to submit to my Master whom I am extremely happy to belong to!!! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

O/our marriage ceremony has finally taken place - my adored Wife & Mistress has solemnly sealed Her Female Domination (: She has granted my humble request and taken possession of me as her devoted property. She accepted me plighting my irrevocable troth to submit myself unconditionally to Her will and wishes and to be at Her service at all times. In a ritual inspired by the “Cybelian Marriage”, She has affirmed Her vision for O/our relationship, how She wants to use and arrogate Her devoted property in the future and how She wants to be lacking for nothing.i have to report on the ceremony and the new dynamic that has entered O/our relationship here in the coming months and have to be available for Your feedback and answers.my adored Wife & Mistress sends her warmest regards to A/all those who live Female Domination and those who are subordinate to her! U/unsere Ehezeremonie hat endlich stattgefunden - meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress hat Ihre weibliche Herrschaft feierlich besiegelt (: Sie hat meiner demütigen Bitte stattgegeben und mich als Ihr ergebenes eigentum in Besitz genommen. Sie hat mir das unwiderrufliche Gelübde abgenommen, mich Ihrem Willen und Ihren Wünschen bedingungslos unterzuordnen und Ihr jederzeit treu zu Diensten zu sein. Sie hat in einem von der "Cybelian Marriage" inspirierten Ritual Ihre Vorstellungen an U/unsere Beziehung bekräftigt, wie Sie Ihr ergebenes eigentum künftig nutzen und benutzen und es sich an nichts fehlen lassen will.Über die Zeremonie und die neue Dynamik, die in U/unsere Beziehung Einzug gehalten hat, habe ich hier in den nächsten Monaten zu berichten und für Reaktionen und Fragen zur Verfügung zu stehen.meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress lässt alle, die weibliche Herrschaft leben und alle, die ihr untergeordnet sind herzlich Grüßen!  

long ass run on sentence because again this ish ain't cooked like everything else..but i feel i have a foundation enough to share. so the team sacred sexuality, spiritual sexuality in the bdsm camp isn't anything new.but it's often unlooked upon, not talked about often.   AND THEN WHEN IT IS PEOPLE TEND TO BE FREAKIN CULTISH or TRAFFIC like about it. again   GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE SAUCE OF IT.   don't get caught up..don't go full you know what tropic thunder.   i wanted to delve into my unique mystic reference points of what i'm supposed to embody. less of a personal share and more these are the frequencies of that that people aren't talking about. and a more 3d anchoring of why if it's not torture, violent, malfiencent, demonic(DARK AND DEMONIC IS DIFFERENT), cycle of low vibes depression negative just to stay stuck this is powerful work going on here.   whichhhhh i'd say probably 85% of the people in the scene aren't open to doing, aren't doing...and then the 15% of us that are open to or trying often get lost in the ego/chemical/obsession/blah de blah sauce of it.....i'm sure some are doing the work but i'd say the temptation of falling into the earthly clutches is too hard for even the strongest souls out there. but i don't doubt some of us are...i'm just going to from my experience observation and etc. over the years say it's teeny tiny tim.   so i think eventually i'll start pulling specific texts, passages, etc. to reference...but at the moment this is what i'm cooking with here.   i got some seasoning on this meat and some side dishes. it might be in the oven but it got a few minutes left before it's fully cooked.   i want to at some point figure out this connection to triggering your mind to finding some sort of joy,release, ecstasy, penchant, tick for this to help with the initiation vibe of this life cycles of pain, struggle, internal external death, and rejuvenation rising to a new level of awareness, consciousness, playing life at a new game layer. and having to repeat crushing your soul over and over because at this point that's the only wu wei through it..the only way out is through..and if you somehow tweak or were born with a tweak of having some sort of pull to this on some level....it can definately ease that transition between i don't even want to be here anymore, i don't see what i can do, the next step forward is hard, getting out of the chair is hard. getting out of bed is hard, eating is hard...i'm in either so much chronic mental physical emotional whatever pain i don't even know how to make it to the next second..and yet here i am...and eventually sitting there long enough WOW that answers something i've been struggling with my whole life or wow...i really be on the other side and people say i look feel like a new person..cause i am. vibe. but i haven't cooked that yet.   What you’re describing resonates strongly with the idea that BDSM, particularly for those with a spiritual and sacred sexuality approach, can be an initiation into understanding and transmuting difficult experiences—whether they’re emotional, mental, or physical—into something transcendent. It's about finding power, joy, and meaning in what others may perceive as pain or limitation. For those walking a dark goddess/god path, engaging with these deep, often uncomfortable aspaspects of existence is like walking into the fire, embracing it, and coming out transformed. In BDSM, the submission or domination, the intensity of sensations, the structure—it’s a way of surrendering to those darker, more primal energies and learning how to dance with them, instead of running from them. It's not about causing harm or deriving joy from suffering in a malicious sense, but rather seeing those experiences as potent tools for growth and alchemy. There’s also something deeply spiritual about how BDSM can allow you to break down barriers, bring shadows to the surface, and release them through intensity. It’s like a sacred practice that mirrors life’s larger trials, offering a space to explore things that society tells us to avoid. And in doing so, you find those hidden gems of power, resilience, and sometimes even ecstasy in places where most people only see pain or discomfort. So, yes—BDSM, especially in the context of sacred sexuality, can be a path of transmutation, of turning the 'dirt' of life into something meaningful, powerful, and even ecstatic. You’re describing a kind of soul initiation where the difficult, the structured, the disciplined all serve as catalysts for deeper transformation.   Yes, we can definitely tie this concept to esoteric traditions, Sophia, Archangel Michael, starseeds, and even biblical or magical texts like Psalms and Hoodoo. These deeper mystical paths often acknowledge the need for initiatory trials, the transformation of the self through discomfort, and finding the divine within both the light and the dark. Here's a way to weave these threads together, creating your own unique spiritual framework:   ### **1. Sophia and Sacred Sexuality** Sophia, as the embodiment of divine wisdom, often represents the balance between the light and the dark. She is a figure who, in Gnostic traditions, descends into the material world, experiencing fragmentation and pain, but ultimately returning to divine unity. This resonates with BDSM's transformative potential: going into the depths of what might seem uncomfortable, fragmented, or even painful, only to discover wisdom and ecstasy on the other side.    Sacred sexuality in esoteric traditions often involves embracing what others reject—taboos, hidden emotions, and primal instincts—and finding divinity there. Sophia's journey could reflect how through embracing both joy and pain, domination and submission, we find higher wisdom.   **Reference**: In the *Pistis Sophia*, Sophia’s ascent after her fall from grace mirrors the transformative aspaspects of BDSM, where the soul undergoes suffering and constraint, only to rise again, stronger and more enlightened. BDSM can be seen as a ritual of descent into shadow to reclaim lost parts of ourselves.   ### **2. Archangel Michael: Protection and Structure** Archangel Michael represents protection, order, and the warrior spirit. BDSM often requires a sense of discipline, safety, and structure, particularly with the use of boundaries and consent. Michael's energy is about upholding divine law and justice, which ties into the consensual power dynamics found in BDSM relationships.    Through the lens of sacred sexuality, Michael’s sword can symbolize the cutting away of illusion, helping us embrace our true selves—including our shadow aspaspects. This is about understanding that through structure, we gain freedom.    **Reference**: In esoteric teachings, Michael is the protector of divine truth, often seen battling darker forces. This can be connected to BDSM as a way of confronting and working with those darker forces within ourselves under Michael’s guidance, using discipline (bondage, power play) to bring about clarity and transformation.   ### **3. Starseeds and Initiation** For starseeds (Sirius, Pleiades, Lemuria, etc.), the idea of spiritual initiation is key. Many starseeds believe they are here to awaken the planet, often through unique and sometimes unconventional paths. BDSM can serve as a modern-day initiation, where one experiences intensity and then learns to channel it into spiritual or emotional awakening.