"50 Shades Of Wanabees" **Will finish writing this and add the conclusion sometime in the near future. Unfortunately, work and life get in the way of passion at times not affording us the opportunity to delve into it full time. That and writing this on a cell phone is a daunting task. Read enjoy, educate, comment. It's all good. I've been involved in this lifestyle for going on 40yrs. It is a very special kind of relationship and bond that takes lots of commitment, EFFECTIVE communication, understanding and most of all....TRUST. This type of life is not for everyone especially those "vanilla relationshippers" who don't understand it or know anything about it other than the stereotype information they heard or read. It is a multi-layer, multi-dimensional universe of its own that is compromised of many of its own ecosystems. It's as vast as the many kinks and fetishes that people can imagine and transform into being on the physical plane. Although we try to categorize the many desires so we can label them and sort them in order to find fellow kinksters. It is a task less job of who done it. No different than labeling colors. To the right we have orange. To the left we have red. But what happens when we have a color that falls in between? It doesn't necessarily look orange or red on of its own. Do we call "rednge" and make it its own category so it sits their all alone? Obviously not! But yet another hybrid is born expanding our array of colors once again. Adding to the illustrious rainbow of a way of life for many. It is no different than Mother nature's evolution of our planet and its inhabitants. Constantly in motion. Growing, changing, EVOLVING. How wonderful. HOWEVER, something almost always comes along to try and hamper the growth. It resonates through the community touching and infecting all that live in it. It betrays us all and infaspects the very things that make it so unique. Trust quickly dissipates as the intrusion spreads like wildfire burning all that fall within its path. Leaving behind scorched emotions, lack of trust or belief. Like that fiery fire is what I call, "50 Shades Of Wannabees". It's compromised of those who watched or read this crossover book or movie of a kinkier version of "Pretty Woman". A rich man who takes over a lower class woman's mind and bends her into his submissive. Suddenly like the herd of Buffalo, that once roamed this nation, a stampede of kinksters charge into our community. There is no understanding that there is SO much more than physical ownership of a sub or slave. It is a psychological game of Stratego that has been played by the partners gaining command of the others headspace. That headspace contains all the emotions, physical desires, dreams, fantasies, psychological manifestations of childhood yearnings, etc. All rolled up into one area waiting to be examined and absorbed by someone who can understand them and nurture them to fruition. A Bach of the composer world who takes them and turns them into beautiful music that all can hear. The manifestation of the hidden minds collective emotional desires and needs now controlling the physical form like the captive they once were. With this weapon in hand the dominant hunter has captured his prey. He cages and controls it by holding its heart tightly against his chest in his protective arms so no harm will come to it. The chase was long. The chase took many paths that one had to avoid straying from and getting lost. So when finally navigating it and finding that pot of gold at the end it is treasured as the greatest possession owned. It's capture was earned and not stolen. I can't help but look at these wannabees as nothing more than and invasive army made up of decisions or narcissistic grandure. Their need to feel powerful and fulfill their cardinal desires of physical pleasure and loneliness taken by force. No understanding of how the lifestyle works because they have no desire to learn it. Whips spinning in the air, shouts of demands and orders barking, physically overpowering of their prey is all they understand. I am a MASTER they proclaim to all as they dangle bait in hopes of luring a potential pacifistic creature. No you are NOT A MASTER, the knowledgeable citizens say. YOU ARE JUST A BULLY! A bully fueled by your narcissistic desires of ownership over another that you expect to force to serve you for your pleasure and your pleasure alone. You and your wants are all that matters and the emotions of the server are forced into exile.

 The power and vibration of a Harley reminds me of my time driving a train. When I would start a "big jack" as we called it, the power of that engine engulfed me. To know I controled all that power was a feeling that took some adjusting to.  I cannot know what the power feels like driving a Harley or anykind of bike for that matter. But I do know the feeling on the back of a bike. The freedom, the wind blowing in my hair. My legs pressed against his legs, my arms around his waist, and my tits pressed against his back. Quite a intimate experience no doubt.     It always amazed me that the bikers would always wave at the trains. This was a universal thing from Az, NM, Colorado,the Black Hills of South Dakota,Wyoming, the midwest of Iowa and even to Minnesota, most of the places I worked in my carreer. Most times they wanted to hear the horn blow to. Just like those of us who want semis to blow their horns going down the road.  I went full out of my comfort zone a few weeks ago and asked a vanilla guy at the gym for a ride on his Harley. It was a Friday. He acted like he was excited by my actions.We exchanged numbers and later that day he asked me where I would want to take a ride to. We agreeded on Tombstone, for the upcoming Wednesday. On Saturday morning I sent a text to him hoping his day was going good. He responded, and so did I. And that was it. I never heard from him again. Naturally he has also avoided being at the gym. And in general just made me disappointed in another vanilla male.   It doesen't stop my craving though. To be on the back of a bike again going down the road! Maybe one day it will happen again...          

There are parts of a person that don’t begin at the moment two people meet. They begin long before, in the quiet places where experience shapes us and then gets sealed away. Long before I met her, I had lived through something that awakened a deep part of me — a capacity for intensity, recognition, and emotional clarity that rarely finds a home. And she had lived through her own version of that. For different reasons, both of us buried that part of ourselves. She buried hers out of fear - fear of instability, fear of loss, fear of needing someone, fear of being seen too clearly. I buried mine out of discipline - a deliberate containment, a way of protecting others from the full force of what I feel and protecting myself from offering it where it cannot be held. Different histories, different wounds, same instinct: suppress what once burned too brightly When we met, that buried part in both of us stirred. Not because we created something new, but because we recognised something familiar. The connection wasn’t imagined. It wasn’t accidental. It was the reawakening of something each of us had sealed away. In the moments when she felt safe, she softened, revealing warmth, intuition, and depth she rarely allowed to surface. And in response, I became the version of myself that feels most grounded, steady, and alive. I understood the sandcastle she lived in. I saw her protective walls. Not as flaws, but as architecture - structures and anchors that kept her upright when life gave her no stability. I understood why trusting one person felt like stepping into open air. I understood why she stayed in the present, why she avoided looking ahead, why she protected herself even from what she wanted. I saw the logic in it. I saw the cost of it too. It is heartbreaking to see how someone can be hurt so deeply, so repeatedly, that they retreat into a world made of compartments. A world where adult emotional connection feels dangerous, where closeness carries the risk of being wounded again. And so she anchored herself to the one place that felt safe: the innocence of a child who had never betrayed her. The child of the man who had most recently broken her trust became, in a way, the last untouched corner of her emotional world. Maybe she saw a younger version of herself there. Maybe she stayed close to that child because it allowed her to protect something pure in a way no one ever protected her. Whatever the reason, it is unbearably sad that the safest place she could find was one that existed outside the realm of adult connection entirely. I understood how it was easier to feel when it was transactional, triggered by someone else and emotionally outside her control. What I felt for her was not fantasy. It was recognition. I cared for her deeply, and I would have treasured her - not by holding her tightly, but by creating a space where she could breathe without fear, where the sparks I glimpsed in her unguarded moments could grow into something steady. I never wanted to reshape her. I wanted to offer a place where she could rest without bracing for impact. It hurt that she couldn't understand my deep need to care; that she could and did give herself to another physically, to a sadist, when she couldn't accept my care or give herself physically to me. And I never believed it would be easy or instantaneous. I knew that being together would require patience, courage, and the slow dismantling of old defences. I knew it would demand effort from both of us. But the difficulty didn’t deter me - it clarified me. It strengthened my resolve. It deepened my desire to care, not out of saviourhood or fantasy, but because I saw what was possible if she ever chose to step toward it. But the truth is simple: the part of her that woke up when we met is the same part she has spent years learning to silence. Stepping toward what she felt would have required dismantling the very defences that keep her functioning. She retreated not because she felt nothing, but because she felt too much. I stepped toward it because I was ready. That difference is the whole story. So I release this into the ether - not to change her, not to call her back, not to craft something optimised for her reception or softened for her comfort. I have written carefully, yes, but this is not for her. This is for me. This is where I place the truth so I no longer have to carry it alone. We both knew. We both felt it. We both buried it for our own reasons. Meeting each other unlocked it again. She ran from it. I stepped toward it. And now I name it so it no longer lives unspoken. Whatever she chooses, whatever she fears, whatever she cannot yet face, I hold no anger. Only the quiet truth of what was possible, and the peace that comes from finally giving these words a place to live outside my own mind.

my amusement grows with each passing day at what some "think" my submission should look like.   I'm outspoken, blunt, intelligent,  don't kneel to everyone,  etc.  Ohhh no,  that means I must not be submissive, etc. Heh,  no. It means,  I'm Not the type of submissive You can handle.  I'm not looking for you though.  I'm looking for HIM. The One who knows the value I bring,  because when I kneel,  it's because a Leader stands before me. That..is when I become fully submissive. Until then.. deal with the woman only,  the person i am,  because that is who i am,  to everyone else. Only one gets my full submission. 

Online Submission: What does it mean to me? As a submissive who is seeking it? The submissive has to be open. As a submissive I have to be prepared to share lots of personal details about myself and my life. More than likely I'll have to confront some old demons. I would expect a Domme/Dom to want to pry into my past. Learn about past relationships and why they failed or why drove me to be the way I am. Nothing should be off limits.  I should be expected to write. From writing erotica to keeping a journal. It would keep me focused on the situation I am in.  Physically.. I should embrace that tradional "sex" is over for me. I am choosing a "pussy-free" lifestyle for the chance to be mentally warped by a Domme/Dom. I should be encouraged to fail in vanilla relationships for the betterment of the virtual one. My mind should be washed to the point that I "KNOW" every Woman around me is superior than me and that I am a cuckold to the female world in general. My manhood should be caged. Not even in a real chasitiy sense..but just in the fact that I am dedicated to the task at hand and sex is...over... I will work out. I will have my diet controlled and altered. I will be monitored at all times. My alpha life will take a backseat to beta slavery.   WHAT DOES A GOOD ONLINE DOMME/DOM LOOK LIKE? You MUST be educated. You have to know the "ins and outs" of how to train and use a sub virtually.  Honestly it doesn't matter if You are Mistress or Master if Your mind is right and your heart is dark.  You have to know Your way around the terms and words of the lifestyle. You have to get off on the MINDGAMES of this world.  Can You paint a picture with Your thoughts and words to suck me deeper into subspace? You have to make me feel worthless...but at the same time as if You are molding me FOR worth.  Look up how Mistress T, Natasha's Bedroom, Princess Miki, Princess Fierce, or Princess Kaeline handles their subjaspects. If you have traints of that..then we are a perfect match!    i hope this helps and I am excited to have the chance to interview for YoU!  

It was a rough day for this new slave in training He was very willing and eager to please We started out with his oral servitude which happened to be very subpar I knew it would be because he had bragged about what an expert he was at using his tongue I had to get him to understand that a slave never brags about what he can do because that is not his place If I choose to acknowledge your talente in an area, I will issue that compliment and you may wear it as a badge of honor  The ultimate goal is for you to make me squirt and then drink and lick up every drop Are you going to be worthy pet for me??!!   

  New Year After a brief discussion this morning we have agreed on a few things to try and get the most out of 2023. wearing my daily collar more often (as permitted by job, etc) more butt plugs less underwear more outfits with access when home more use of the belt more opportunities for us to explore with others Happy New Year!

When my ex and I were exploring BDSM and doing research, I was more attracted to the submissive role for myself. I encouraged her toward taking the Domme role, and I would be her submissive, but she wasn’t interested. I even created a website dedicated to FLR, but she wanted me to be her Dom. But, my core was really very submissive to women. Now that I am single, I am very interested in exploring my submissive side with an amazing Domme. If you would like to see the FLR website I created, it’s    http://amazingflr.byethost8.com

  The most potent sex organ is the mind.  Control the mind and the body will follow.  Making the ordinary and mundane the most extraordinary   

I read it but.... * I didn't really read the words I just looked at the pics * I didn't think when you said I had to be in the same country that you meant physically had to be * I didn't think when you said no one under 50 that you would not make an exception for me as I am very mature * I didn't think when you did not say to send the pic, I have of myself to you when I ask that you really didn't want to see the pic of myself.  * I didn't think you meant you would not give me a chance, after all, how can you resist me Well, I filled out my profile and made it as simple as I can so please don't think you can get me to play a game so you get what you want. Read my profile and respect it. I am happy to chat nothing more if you don't fit the bill. 

Over the past few weeks, i have recieved many offers of ownership, from many interesting people. I have learned a lot more about what kind of relationships are out there, and what kind of relationships will and won't fit me. From these experiences, i have made observations, and determined some idea of what i need.I understand the basic concept of a slave. Someone who is completely owned by another, without rights or privileges, without freedom, without pleasure or distraction. Without anything except that what is allowed by their owner.But I understand, too, that not all potential owners are the same. Each has their own things they will control, allow, or even encourage. What is anathema to one, is vital to another. And so i recognise that while i give all control to my owner, it is still down to me who i will choose to be that person. And i would choose them based on their desires matching up with my needsThis document is a compilation and approximate description of the conditions that i will flourish in. Like a plant needs the right soil and climate to grow. Not all slaves are the same.Without farther ado: I need trust and safety:Top of the list because it is the most important.If we have this, everything else in the world is manageableIf we don't, nothing can compensate for it.These should be a given, but its worth exploring it more.As a slave, i will put my life into my owner's hands. My wellbeing and future are theirs to determine. Given this, i need to know that the person i am entrusting, will use this gift well, that they will protect me, that they will respect any conditions we agreed upon, and not exploit me.I need an owner who will not throw me in harms' way. For a start by keeping me out of, or safe within, situations where there might be a threat of violence or crime.But I also need to know they won't give me crazy orders that cause harm or make me do dangerous/illegal things.I am still learning what unsafe situations look like, i hope i will know them when i see them.  I need control and disciplineI was recently offered a domestic discipline arrangement, I ultimately declined this because i felt it was too lax and permissive, i need a deeper level of control. This was the right direction, but it didn't go far enoughI've also seen some relationships advertised where the sub is essentially a supermax prisoner, or worse. Permanant bondage, destruction of identity, faceless tormentors, zero autonomy. I did not apply for these, they seemed too controlling.So there are some extremes, what i need is somewhere in the middle.  I need a certain level of oversight, control, and management. I need a guiding hand in my life to keep me on the right path, to set my priorities, and to ensure that rewards come after effort, not before.I don't know how much control yet, until then i live and learn. I need social contact:Although my owner is my world, and any other slaves are my sisters in service, I believe that these relationships alone will not be enough. Although i do have a kink for cages and confinement in small, or even moderately large doses, i couldn't live forever in a gilded cage. No amount of luxury or pleasure or control can truly compensate for isolation.I need people outside of our relationship to talk to. Not just online friends, but physical in person contacts too. I seek an owner who has at least a semi-active social life, who will take me to clubs, or to meet his friends in the local community.I don't seek to keep secrets on that account, i will happily inform my owner of everyone i interact with and everything we do. And it is of course my owner's perogative to control who i can speak to and associate with, i beg that this not be enforced too often :(I don't necessarily seek sexual contact either, these friends can be purely platonic. But i would certainly love to be sent to serve others, allowed to participate in sexual activities, or used to provide services that will involve me engaging with other peopleWoman is a social creature, and i must connect with people. I need to be utilized to my full potential:As a slave I provide domestic services, cooking, cleaning, laundry, et al. And sexual services of just about every kind. And i can provide more niche fetish services, like being a urinal.But being highly intelligent, i can do a lot of other things too. ..... I truly believe that service is what I'm meant for, and am happy to provide more, were we to discuss things......I want to make your dreams come true! I need patienceAutism makes me think unusually. I'm not great with vague or emotional descriptions, when learning about people and places and things, i work best with anecdotes. I like specific, concrete, technical, material details. I will try my best to adapt to how you speak and do things, but there will necessarily be a degree of you adapting to me too :(I can hyperfocus on tasks and become obsessed, i go above and beyond to please. And I tend to think and plan ahead, far ahead. Sometimes i will seem dispassionate or emotionless, other times clingy and needy. When i'm upset i tend to write large volumes of stuff, and i may need a careful hand in calming me down. Sometimes i will get scared, or misinterpret things, i worry a lot, i overthink and get stressed. I need someone who can listen to my complex rambling inner monologues and help me sort them outI will take some getting used to, but i promise i'm worth it!   I need a place to belong:I crave to be part of something larger. A relationship, a family unit, a community, whatever. The details are flexible, but a general sense of belonging and knowing my place is needed.I can't be kept at arms' length, to be a side whore. If you have an existing relationship, i need to be a full part of it, i need to live with you in your home, and be a part of your life, and the lives of your partner(s) or other slaves.I can't be hidden away from the world. I need love and appreciationLove conquers all, and for someone i love, i will do anything. My love is not jealous or posessive, it can be shared with anyone in your household, ill never want you all to myself, i will devote mind body and soul to your serviceBut i do kind of need the same energy back. I need an owner who has room in their heart for love, who isn't closed off or distant.And i need regular encouragement and appreciation. headpats are always welcome, "good girl" is the highest praiseI want to be a treasure to someone, valued for more than the sum of my parts, as i shower upon them a self destructive level of devotion and worship.Ultimately, i want to be loved, doesn't anyone?

Laissez les bon temps rouler"       

Results from bdsmtest.org == 7/19/202298% Submissive90% Masochist88% Voyeur86% Rope bunny75% Exhibitionist74% Pet74% Experimentalist60% Vanilla

    Need me to rub your belly???? Feel the warmth of my lip and gentle flow of my breath As I softly kiss around your naval My breast slide over your penis. You feel the warmth of my breath It's hard and pulsating   I can feel it throbbing Tell me that you want me I stand and allow you to undress me I push you back on the bed Leaning over you, looking into your eyes, I place a kiss on your head So nice and hard I must taste Pulsating in my mouth Leaking a juice so sweet I crawl on the bed and pull you on top of me and tell you Put it inside me now!!! I am so aroused I cum quickly Working on my next explosion Grabbing you and pulling you deeper inside me I am taking every inch of you My breast are bouncing And you gentle hold them down as you suck pull and bite my nipples I tell you not to move I just want to feel myself grinding on you I cum again So nice and hot as it squirts all over us both I slap your ass and tell you fuck me hard We repo to a scissor position My knee bent to my face as you lean in for leverage I rub my clit as you are pounding my pussy I cum again I tell you to take your cock out and rub my juices around my pussy and ass I make you stand and I suck my juices off your cock and balls I play with your cock rubbing sucking and stroking. Massaging your balls, so very hard You moan and you want to grab my head and I tell you not to touch Edging you and then easing off I slow the licking and sucking down You have some much sweet juice just leaking I allow drops on my breast I rub the head over my nipples covering my breast with your juice I think shall I let you cum?   You say oh yes mistress plea

It's a soggy Saturday here in Essex, UK what's everyone up to?  My shopping was done, all domestic was done for me so I am relaxing today after working all week. With a few late nights working too today chilling listening to the rain under a cover works for me. Thinking about the show and tell mix of my edits in chapter 10 of 25.  I haven't written any songs for a while but I will. The art is flowing from me so the next stage to turn them digital will progressed once my edited manuscript goes to readers. Meanwhile I gather hand drawn designs and store them in a box folder.   

I long to have both the ownership the passion of giving the freedom of use and the security of safety with the man that I belong to and trust implicitly. Someone I can be devoted to, grow with, walk alongside, sleep next to, but always put him first, serve and give my love to. Forever.  But ha! I also know that's a tall order, a huge idea.  But a girl can dream, eh?  Long for is probably too mild of a word...but crave isn't the right word either, as my need isn't craven or out of control, it's measured, desired, planned, developed.  I'm at heart a kitten, a babygirl, searching for her Daddy. Not an age play Daddy tho, and I have hard limits about age play, diapers, too much little play, etc. But if you are a strong, thoughtful, intelligent, kind and caring Dominant who is looking for a devoted intelligent sexy funny healthy kitten to serve take care of and love you, then you've found me!  Do I have faults? Do you? Of course we do. But we work on them and grow, we always talk, we don't mind fuck each other, we have emotional and psychological intelligence to go along with our strength of character. But you lead, and I follow.  I've never had this, not even close. I've had many Doms of course. But I've always been the one who ends up leading, who knows, who does the right thing, who laughs, who isn't afraid to fail, the one to cry and forgive. The one to stand and walk away.  Will you let me be me, your girl, your slut, your kitten? Will you be my number 1? My Dominant? My man? My love?  Here's looking at you, Sir. 

Unless you are local to London or travel to London (at your own expense) please do not contact me. I do not have time to play fantasy with you through my laptop. I am NOT going to over use adjectives to describe a setting that does not exist. We can NOT eat a meal virtually throuh this message service. We can NOT enjoy your grasp of my breasts through this message service. We can NOT hear me squeel due to satisfaction on this messaging service. We can NOT touch our skin on this message service. We can NOT enjoy a glass of wine on this messaging service. I can NOT use my silk on you on this messaing service. I can NOT call you late on Friday night demanding you make a trip to my place for sexual attention on this messaging service. So politely unless you can ring my door bell, turn up with some flowers and lubricant and a decent bottle of red wine, politely will you F-off and go submit your horny essay to some shit literature competition that equally does NOT exist. Thank you

Alright, feral creatures. Drag your claws in a circle and listen.   If your master plan is to speed run your BDSM bucket list with strangers like you’re farming achievements, you are not practicing power exchange. You are running a fantasy drive thru.   Hi yes, I’ll take one degradation scene, extra intensity, no emotional labor.   That’s not dominance.   That’s not submission.   That’s transactional self gratification wearing a harness.   Power exchange is not a vending machine. It is not a same night shipping option for your curiosity. It is a relational structure built on trust, communication, and actual human care.   You cannot ethically hold power over someone you do not care about. Period.   Now let’s talk about pick up play before someone starts twitching.   Picking up someone you’ve seen in the community? Someone you’ve observed at events? You’ve watched how they negotiate. How they respond to a safeword. How they treat people after scenes. How they handle NO. You’ve seen them interact when they’re not performing.   That’s informed risk.   Scooping up a total stranger with zero shared community, zero references, zero behavioral observation, and hoping adrenaline carries you through?   That’s rolling dice with someone’s nervous system.   Vibes are not vetting.   And while we’re here get involved in the community.   Go to munches.   Go to vettings.   Go to classes/workshops.   Go sit at a table and actually talk to people without trying to collect them.   Observe.   Watch how people interact. Notice who listens. Notice who interrupts. Notice who respaspects space. Notice who name drops. Notice who checks in after someone looks overwhelmed. Notice who vanishes when cleanup starts.   Munches are not play parties. Vettings are not auditions for your bucket list.   They are spaces to build familiarity. To understand hosts and their rules. To learn the culture of a specific dungeon or group. These events take time, money, and energy to plan. Hosts coordinate venues. They set safety protocols. They build community frameworks.   Treat that with respect.   Don’t roll in like it’s a pregame for your fantasy scavenger hunt.   Power exchange requires infrastructure:   Clear negotiation   Explicit limits   Aftercare planning   Emotional accountability   Community awareness   If you don’t have the patience to build that foundation, you don’t want BDSM. You want intensity without responsibility.   And here’s the gremlin truth: when you treat people like checklist items, you erode the very ecosystem that keeps kink safer.   Community exists so we can:   Share information   Protect each other   Vet behavior   Build trust over time   You want to dominate? Learn how to communicate without posturing.   You want to submit? Learn how to advocate for yourself without shrinking.   You want to explore? Learn how to build relationships that can hold intensity safely.   Slow down.   Show up consistently.   Respect the hosts.   Respect the spaces.   Respect the humans.   Otherwise you’re not practicing power exchange.   You’re just chasing adrenaline for an orgasm and hoping nobody gets hurt when the crash hits.   And that’s not edgy.   That’s just reckless with better lighting.

Open letter to all the weirdos who keep writing me weird shit:  I often get what probably is canned messages from men here, and it's so disappointing and disillusioning.  Dude. Don't send out a message like this to someone you don't even know! The likelihood of a normal woman liking it and replying to it is infinitesimally small! Quit thinking with your dick!  I, and, again, the vast majority of thoughtful women, would no more reply to show interest in this kind of slobbering trite than they would step off a curb in front of a bus!  Grow up, man! Stop being so desperate! Get a life! Get outdoors! Do some volunteer work! Stop wanking all the time! And def stop watching so much porn!  You MAY be a great guy under all the porn induced delusions, but no one will ever know it if you don't stop making these lame attempts at wannabe Dom guy shit. This is not what being a Dom or Master is even about! You are not a white knight, you are an idiot. Get a clue, get real, and stop writing me these I want to take you to my castle in the sky email propositions!  You can thank me later. 

"life is full of endings that you never know are coming until they already pass"I wrote that quote in high school. Some of us learn and grow and im grateful that many things have been learned. Some answers will never be known for sure from my journey here in this lifetime. A new chapter is starting and perhaps the last chapter . Today i finally got to start moving things to a new home . A home that I feel will be my last but things are never certain and I have learned you have to live in the moment and ride each wave. I feel the shift of energy in the earth but I also know that things must shift so they can heal and balance. My Master Mate and Husband and I have been through many things in these last three years. We have grown and we intend to keep growing together. I have learned about the light and the dark. I have learned about walking paths. I have learned about consequences for actions. I have learned about addiction . I have learned what vanilla mindsets are like and how many of those could just things that are spiritual and misunderstood. I have definitely learned and experienced Dominance and submission through mind body soul spirit and energy. We cant protect people from all pain all we can do is try to guide but some lessons must always be learned by the being. It feels good to write, its been awhile since I sat down and let words flow. There is always new beginnings

For those of you who do not already know.. i have a medical condition called lymphedema, it affaspects my legs. The condition caused large ulcers to form on the backs of my legs six years ago!! my left leg healed up within the first or second year, however the ulcers on my right leg are still there. At one point it was one large wound, about the size of a dinner plate!! They are much smaller but still a significant size and depth. Anyway, my wound dressings are soooo painful!! i am currently using preion pain meds, extra strength fake Tylenol, concentrated cannabis, and cannabis gummies.. NOT all at the same time. Today i ate a large pineapple flavored cannabis gummy. i was told it was equal to 3 servings!! i was STILL in severe pain for more than an hour and a half!! Full on bawling my head off and big fat non stop tears. Should ANYONE have a suggestion.. please leave the information in my mail. Any help is GREATLY appreciated. Thank you all, so very much.

I am building a House, an organization for many slaves, many. I offer a concept that is foreign to most, because most seek that one-on-one dynamic. As a result, not all but many flounder for years looking for the 'one'.What is offered is a home to those that cannot find the 'one' or no longer feel life must only be about the the 'one'. With this opportunity comes the offer of being able to call one 'Master', to fill that need, as they enjoy the larger chance to be part of something more than being alone within itself.Can I be a great Master to one? Definitely. It is very pleasing.But, I wish to be more, and more than just to one.I am trying to offer more to more, a home to many.Some would rather remain alone. I respect that.This is not for them. I offer something in lieu of nothing.More than that. I offer something for their 'one' and themselves, if they are so inclined.More than that, I offer community to the M/s community.A chance to be more, much more than just being alone or a couple.A opportunity to grow more than just themselves, to grow their world around them as they grow.To do that one must consider broadening, not limiting ones' possibilities.Master would love to see all grow with Master and the others in the House, as all enjoy the process of growth, of being more of what one seeks. To self-actualize both the light and darkness within.

Personal growth is the evolution of the mind to catch up with our soul. It comes in stages. For some it takes a while for others it's their daily obligation to themselves. One must sit back each evening after the sun has set and before the stars have risen. Take advantage of this purgatory moment in the heavens to lose oneself inside their being. Drift through the thoughts of the day gone by and squarely face it for all it was as we search for the answers of what it could be. Inspect ourselves for the quality we expect and demand of ourselves. Find errors in our ways and vow to be more mindful of tomorrow. For tomorrow is only a day away.  And hence the process proceeds as the journey continues.  Never ending, never arriving at our destination but always traveling.  Being mindful of the journey and appreciating the ability we have to be able to travel. Sometimes alone, sometimes in the company of others. At times even in the company of others but alone and lost within ourselves. Yet always traveling. The road blocks we encounter may sometimes lead us astray but never stopping us unless we allow them.  It is not only our obligation to meet them head on but to also overcome them with speed and efficiency. If not for us for the others in our lives. So take the moments when you can. Lose yourself and search your very depths and face your humanity as often as possible. Find the strength to look at yourself flaws and all and the courage to admit your weaknesses. Mistakes are just flaws not repaired.  Just like a pencil has an eraser to clean an error, let acknowledgement be yours.

So I suppose I should expand upon what we are seeking so as not to waste anyone's time. I am absolutely not a Dom or even a switch, not really. Not in kink and not in life. But I am looking for a submissive. Who will let me have my way with them like a spoiled child. I want someone so wrapped around my fingers that even though there really aren't any consequences I can give them, and that even though they could over power me or outsmart me they choose not to they choose every second of their submission wholely over and over again. No matter what I am doing to them they choose me as their princess. A submissive daddy type if you will. And daddys arent controlled with fear and pain and neglect but with love and attention and sweet words...and other tantalizing treats.    I feel this is the type of relationship Westley and Buttercup had. Lol.    Ok I am sure I have done a not so stellar job explaining this but hopefully a bit better then before.    Be well everyone.   As always curious friends are always welcome as well.

COCKSUCKERS PLEDGEby Jeremy C. Turnbull - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my place is at the feet of my Feeder; that my sexual fulfillment depends on the pleasure I give my Feeder, and his generosity allows me to gain nourishment from him. - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my only real sexual organs are my mouth, tongue, and throat; that my only need is to pleasure my Feeder. When I am at my true place between his legs, I have no need other than this.- As a Cocksucker, I solemnly vow, without hesitation or regret, to possess a willing mouth; to know I belong on my knees in the presence of a true Feeder; to accept my Feeder’s milk, his nourishment, his cum, in any manner my Feeder requires; to give my Feeder my best, because this is what he deserves for allowing me to nourish myself. - Furthermore, I vow to maintain such focus on his cock and his pleasure that it becomes the center of my universe; to suck, swallow, gag, stroke and choke when he expaspects it from me; to learn when he needs me to suck, swallow, gag, stroke, and choke without having him to tell me. - By this solemn pledge, I accept my place in the world; I love and embrace being a Cocksucker, as this is the only way I can perform to my Feeder’s satisfaction. I swear to make my Feeder moan. I accept that my Feeder is allowed to say whatever he wants or call me whatever he wants while I am pleasuring him. - I agree to show my addiction and need for my Feeder’s cock and cum by begging for it if need be, because a Cocksucker has no pride, he is a slave. I agree, obviously, to make my mouth a willing and anxious hole for my Feeder’s nourishing seed. And to be ready for my Feeder at any time, or multiple times. - It is my duty to learn every nuance of my Feeder’s cock and what pleasures him the most. I accept not to bite unless my Feeder desires it. I agree to surrender to deep throating, to face-fucking, to multiple cocks and being roughly used. I will never stop until my Feeder is finished with me and truly satisfied In conclusion, as a cocksucker, my sexual identity is tied to the cock of another Man. I know that in life I will only achieve fulfillment through the graciousness and charity of my Feeder and hereby vow with all sincerity to service my Feeder to the best of my ability and strive to improve my technique. The consequences in breaking this contract will result in my spiritual, sexual and physical starvation.

orgasms She lays there air fron the fan caress her body she is trembling with cum running out of her pussy she enjoyed the fuck hair being pulled ass being slapped orgasm after orgasm after orgasm she lays on her pillow covering up she closes her eyes thinking he was done with her he spreads her legs finger fucks her demanding more orgasms at this point she is sore but she gives him what he wants he removes his fingers stuffing them in her mouth she cleans them off he grabs the dildo and shove it in unexpectedly he smiles in the dark he fucks her hard and fast with the dildo she squirms trying to avoid anymore orgasms he slaps her inner thighs she apreads her legs moaning loudly he says you know what i want so give it to me she orgasms 6 more times he removes the dildo and tells her to roll over on all fours he starts fucking her again she says thank you Master he says harshly shut up i didnt tell you to speak he rides her roughly she moans and keeps orgasming for him after he cums again he shoves his dick in her mouth telling her to clean it she does he pulls his underwear up and lays down beside her she lays down unable to walk shaking and sore pussy

Cheeky Observation:   Are some men merging the lines between the back-packing hostel lifestyle with submission? I am noticing men from Europe and India contact me and claim to be submissive. I also notice they have this assumption they can stay with me in some kind of exchange student lifestyle with no plan as to how they settle in the UK or how they are going to get a job. No women dominant or submissive wants to deal with that sort of nonesense. Regardless if your submissive or dominant you can still behave like a decent respectable man. 1. Being submissive does not mean you don't hold manly values 2. It just means lean towards a gentle nature, it does not mean your a freeloading tramp. If your looking for a back-packing lifestyle please just contact the YMCA, contact some Bistro's looking for extra kitchen staff but don't expect me to be impressed if that is your lifestyle.    

Compelled  compelled to Dominate Men. No matter how much she tried, no matter what she wore, her mirror, overwhelmed her with Dominant Femininity. An aura of command perfumed the atmosphere. Exotic, clinging, rising upwards from her hips. Intoxicating any man foolish enough to look in her direction.   With greater frequency and intensity the Dominant Cravings filled her heart with glee.   Experience taught her that the less she cared about her object of submission, the greater her excitement and consequently her satisfaction.   By encasing the object in a leather or rubber hood, it became a flesh and blood pleasure unit. A thing to torture. A quivering, drooling, grunting and sweating thing. She panted with laughter at the thought of her wicked ideas becoming reality.   She had but to dial the phone to summon a pleasure unit. Satisfying to be sure, however, not nearly as much fun as putting a vanilla subject under her heel.  

That Moment when You one day saw A Black Raven hopping on Your GrandParents' Front Lawn so You went to check it, it kept hopping away from You & made it to & through The ChainLink Fence but not before You noticed It Was Missing Its Right Wing & Right Leg.     🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯     #MeanViciousPitBullsAcrossTheStreet?

What is Y/your WHY? If You are familiar with the Simon Sinek video which You'll find easily enough on Utube he asks the question about what is your WHY.  The Why is what gets you out of bed in the morning, it's what motivates you and pushes you and keeps you constantly striving and pushing forward. I was thinking about that video again today because I feel like it's a good question to consider when figuring out where I belong in this lifestyle.  And simply put, I think that while I am searching for an Owner just like every other s-type here, I realize that what I am really seeking is my WHY or more specifically, that person who embodies my WHY.  I'm not seeking an Owner because of the kink or because of some fetish though those are certainly the spices of this lifestyle.  I'm seeking my Owner because I believe they will be the WHY in my life.  I don't think I currently, truly have a WHY. I think everyone wants to live a life of meaning and purpose.  I think everyone wants to matter.  I think everyone wants to know that when it's all said and done, there will be something they can look back upon and smile knowing that what they did made a difference. I have a good job, but it's just that, a job.  I've achieved professionally, but the truth is that my career has never been more to me than a means of paying the bills.  I don't have any kids.  I know a lot of people live for their kids but life didn't work out that way for me.  So what is my life for?  What is my WHY? I think that's what I am searching for here. I think my Owner will be my WHY.  I think They will be the reason i get out of bed smiling every morning.  I think that in surrendering to Them, I allow Them to direct and control my life in a way that pleases Them and give me a sense of purose, direction and that through my service, worship and obedience to Them, I am living a life of meaning.  A service sub or slave takes joy in pleasing, in washing every dish and scrubbing every floor for their Owner.  We take pride in our willingness to do whatever it takes to make Them happy and we are grateful to Them for every single thing They allow us to do in service to Them. It's why we want to say "Thank You," when we fetch that glass of water for You.  It's why we want to say "Thank You," after You've allowed us to pleasure You.  Or, why we say, "Thank You," when You deny us pleasure as a means of making You happy. There are certainly a lot of people who are only in this for the kink and fetish but I think there are a lot of us who are in this looking for our WHY too.  And our WHY is a person we get to please and in allowing us to do so, they give our lives meaning.  That's an extrordinary gift.  And the truth is no matter how much You demand of us, no matter how hard You work us, no matter how much You push us, we will never be able to repay You for that gift.  It's the difference between a life looked back upon with joy or with regret.  It's why wanting to own an s-type is an act of grace and benevolence.  

Her OK Space is a place where she is just getting a chance to be, be herself, be friends, be play-partners or be aware of her changing needs. She feels a change as she floats around having new experiences and enjoying all her new friendships. She no longer feels the need to be protected or guided by a hand. She was mostly into the strict Daddy-Master TPE type of dynamic but she is deciding not to look for that dynamic right now. She has decided to let herself grow and embrace new experiences, new people, and different kinds of play. Her play before was only about pleasing her Master but now she is deciding to venture out and play for herself. That selfish bitch, Yup she is but ethically so..... What makes it different for her is, doing it for the experience of something that catches her eye and is offered not in a service-type dynamic but because she wants to play with the person that has offered. It can be equated with flicking your own bean for the first time for the ladies but for the men, the first-time masturbating is your example. She has always held back until a connection was formed thinking that it would eventually happen but in most cases it never did. She missed out on many great opportunities because of wanting to stay in her comfort zone. She was addicted to safe and secure relationships because there was less chance of getting truly hurt. She was wrong and now reflaspects and decides to move forward dancing and full of life. A thirst for adventure, a thirst for experience, and an appetite for fun. She has decided that if any type of relationship forms it will be because it organically came about not because of need but want. She will fill her need herself. She is happy in her OK Space, a space for her to explore, a space for different opportunities, and a place where she holds her wheel and drives for a bit.... limitless ( with the exception of her hubby that is....). He holds complete power over her so he will keep her poised and somewhat balanced.

Longing: In darkness I have fallen but a shadow of a woman.  longing for truth in the arms of a stranger. hidden beneath the depths of such darkening layers. I seek what is there, calling on the edges of my awareness, like shadows dancing upon the glen, will this madness end, I do not know,  I am lost in the ever changing vortex that has shrouded me in it's swirling mystery, it is a dance perhaps more erotic than that of lovers entwined for this dance is the dance of life.  

I  regularly visit this site and Fetlife to check for messages when I do not have a slave in my home.  If you want to learn more about me my profile has a lot of information. I was responding to someone today and realized that my words might be helpful to post here as a journal entry. I can say that I am very real but the definition of real could be different for everyone. Maybe what sets me aside from most on here is I am only interested in real life? Maybe it is that I have had slaves live in my home for over twenty years? Maybe it is that when a slave is in my home I take care of EVERYTHING and her only responsibility is to take care of me. I own my home and a sucsessful business in paradise and I do not need a slave to work outside my home. It is important that any potential slave understand that being MY slave is not all about sex.  I have no interest in having long sexually explict email chat or phone conversations so that you can masturbate. If a submissive or slave is interested in visiting and just having a great week as my slave I am open to that. If you want to be considered as my slave than you will find my questions are not like most of the self appointed Doms or Masters on here.  I am interested in the things that actually matter when I am considering bringing someone into my home. Things LIKE, What is your current living situation? Friends Family Roommates etc? What is your marital status? Married Separated Divorced Never Married? Children? Have you ever been pregnant? Can you become pregnant? Financial status? In my home I take on all responsibilities and if you have a large credit card debt car payments or some other debt it becomes my responsibility. Have you ever filed bankruptcy? Health? Have you had or do you have any STDs? Have you ever been diagnosed with a medical condition like diabetes depression or anxiety that requires a medication? Are you willing to relocate? When? Being a true slave is more than just about sex you will be responsible for all of my domestic duties. Those who want to talk about what Toys I have or How often they will be beaten are just looking for material to masturbate too.   By real I mean our conversations will be about mutial interest but the central theme will be your visit regardless if it is short or long term. If you are not ready to meet in REAL life then I do not consider you real.

I don’t know how to exist inside my own skin right now. My body hurts constantly—every joint, every nerve buzzing or burning in some private hell—and yet my emotions are stuck in this flat, gray fog. It feels like I’m floating a few feet outside of myself, detached, watching someone else limp through my days. I’m supposed to care about things, supposed to feel urgency, supposed to feel desire, but mostly I just feel… blank. A haze. The hardest part is intimacy. Sex has always been a cornerstone of my identity, something that made me feel alive, connected, real. Now I lie beside people I love, people I want to want, and it’s like my body is a locked door. My brain remembers what it’s like to crave, but the signal doesn’t make it through. Instead I get this sense of obligation—this is who you are, this is what they expect, this is what you should be doing—while my body and spirit just won’t answer. I go through motions, or avoid them, and either way I feel like a fraud. It’s disorienting: physical pain screaming from one side, emotional numbness pressing from the other. I’m caught in between, unable to move fully toward either. I don’t know how to bridge that gap, how to show up in love when I’m not even present in myself. Some nights I wonder if this is permanent. If I’ll always be half-alive like this, longing for connection in theory but unable to touch it in practice. I miss desire like an old friend I can’t remember the face of. For now, all I can do is write it here, admit it to myself. Maybe that’s a start.

I responded to an email today in which I wrote because ai realized I am done.   I figured I would post it here being as when I try to change my profile Collar space goes into spaz outs and threatens to lock me out. "Due to yet another year of Covid, health issues of my own, and general life, I have decided that I can no longer be a responsible Owner The desire is still there but taking a slave is a huge responsibility and time sinkI have friends and history in the kink community that I stay in touch with, which I dont delete my profiles here and on FetLife.  So there it is folks.  Have a kinky happy life.  ~~ Mz Stormz

NEW!!  THE MEDIEVAL DUNGEON - ITALY The Medieval Dungeon is fully equipped with suspended bed, stocks, St Andrew’s Cross and full length spanking bench and bondage table and more. There is plenty of opportunity for play, pleasure and pain! The Medieval Boudoir is also available with two beds should you wish to chill out away from the Dungeon area. There is even plenty of space on the grounds for BDSM outdoor play and camping if it's your thing freedom and privacy guaranteed. The Medieval Dungeon is available to be booked for long decadent weekends or you can tailor your retreat to suit yourself by arrangement from the end of March. BDSM * CFNM * Domination * Flogging * Discipline * Corrective Therapy * Bondage * Spanking * & much more…bondage table so there will plenty of opportunity for play, pleasure and pain! IM HERE TO BOOK YOUR TIME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL RETREAT I shall be inresidence from the 26th March should you wish to visit me.   

Unknown I felt His finger touch my face. I wanted to tilt toward it, to nuzzle and feel more of Him, but He pulled away quickly. I resisted the urge to twist my head to see if I could feel Him still close, my focus soon turned to the sounds on my right. I could hear paper rustling and then a loud, metallic clank, followed by the sound of a lighter. The ensuing heat told me he'd started a fire in the fireplace and I squirmed a bit, hopefully not enough he could see. I had no idea what his intentions were but now things were getting hotter. I twitched when I felt him again. He was behind me, his hands guiding me to stand, and I did so nervously. Still no words, but I could feel him against my backside. I wanted to wriggle closer, I wanted so desperately to "know" him in more than just the words on a screen. I felt his breath on the edge of my ear and a soft whisper, "kathi, open your shirt, undo your bra and free those tits for Me." I gasped at the sound of his voice. It was just a whisper so I still really didn't know what he sounded like. His voice was so soft, barely audible, but I was intent on obeying. As my hands started to undo my buttons, he gently turned me so that the fireplace was no longer on my right, but behind me. And I felt that heat as he moved away. I swallowed hard wondering what he intended, wondering if I'd lost all commonsense. Yet, I still did as he said, my muscles in my cunt clenching without my conscious effort. My breathing deepened, and I could feel the slight sheen of sweat on my body as the heat continued to grow. My hands fell to my sides, my breasts exposed to him. I remembered him looking at the pictures I'd sent him and I wondered if the pictures held up to the real things. I heard him now in front of me, he'd been watching me reveal myself to him. The front of my body felt almost as warm as the backside was getting though it wasn't from the fireplace. His hands touched me again, this time, longer, cupping my face, sliding down my neck, slowly, sliding under my bra straps and blouse that still covered my shoulders, and running down my arms, the clothing fell away. He moved his hands to my heavy breasts, his fingers toying with my nipples that grew harder at his touch. They grew taut and pulled, I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning, to keep from squirming. I still had no idea what his face looked like. I wondered if he approved, I wondered if he were smiling. His palms rubbed over my pale, soft skin of my breasts, cupping them, holding them. He pulled on a nipple, squeezed and tugged with one hand, his other hand still caressing the other breast. No words, just his hands, his fingers tracing the curves of my breasts and alternating with pinches and twists. He moved away and I broke from the trance his touch had created. I swallowed hard again and tried to gather my thoughts, tried to think of something other than my cunt. I didn't know this man, yet it didn't matter. I could hear the good angel telling me to be wary, the sound of the throbbing deep inside me blocking out her voice. I felt the rope begin to wrap around one breast, his hands back and caressing, guiding the rope tightly around one, the squeezing growing as the shape of my breast changed to be more round, more orb-like. It stood out, my nipple hardening to a point, then the other breast being wrapped. I could feel the sweat from the heat on my back running down my back now. I thought I could almost feel my wetness from my cunt meeting it, but I was still wearing my skirt, so perhaps that wasn't true. I couldn't tell. My heart was pounding, my clit was throbbing and I nothing but his toy at that moment. My breasts throbbed as the blood was forced into the constricted confines, his hands rubbing over them almost as though he were fascinated with how they looked. Then they were gone. I startled, the trance again broken but his hands were on my shoulders now, gently pressing me downward. I resumed the position I'd been in when he walked in, only now the fireplace was behind me. I heard the zipper on his pants and I knew what was next. I hoped I was right… He rubbed his cock against my face, and this time he let me nuzzle him. I got to feel him along my cheek, my lips. Somehow I knew that hands weren't permitted this time, just my mouth. He was giving me that chance to know him, to feel him, and I wasn't going to lose any time. His precum moistened my lips as I kissed and caressed his cap with my lips. I turned my head and ran my mouth along his hard shaft, my tongue delicately brushing over his skin, my own caresses mimicking those he'd given my breasts. The tip of my nose nuzzled under him as my lips explored his balls. Back to his cap, I parted my lips slightly and he pushed forward, my mouth opening wider to accommodate him, he began thrusting forward, slowly at first each forward movement going a bit deeper each time. His hands went to my hair and he pressed my face into him, he held me there and I inhaled his scent as I tried to breathe. When he had finished, when I had swallowed and licked him clean, his hand brushed against my cheek, then he helped me back to my feet. I rocked unsteadily and he drew close and kissed my lips, his tongue running over them, letting my tongue meet his for just a moment, then he pulled away. He slowly unwrapped the rope on my breasts, his fingers caressing again, easing the pain as the engorged orbs slowly turned back to the way they were before his arrival. Then, feeling him close again, he whispered… "next time…"

Lately I wake up in the middle of the night and the puppy is snuggled right up to my side. Tonight she had pushed her face into the crook of my neck. I love how much she loves me.  Someone recently asked me for clarification on something in my profile, that if he was to assume the responsibility, what was it that I was responsible for and how would it affect his ability to assume responsibilty? In all this time no one has asked me that. It's a brilliant question. I needed to think about it because my initial reaction was to create a laundry list of what I think I contribute, things like loyalty, honesty, snuggles, nurturing, etc. And then I paused. Those are all things that I do contribute for sure, but it doesn't account for what the other person needs from me, especially to function as person in charge. I will absolutely be and do all of the things I say are my part. And figure out how to be and do what he needs added to my part. Give and take. Relationships take work. Snuggles are the easy part. 

Life can be very funny. Some conversations start with uncertainty but over time blossom into connections you treasure, while others can feel very good at the start but then feel as if something is off. I have been talking with a couple for some time. They were primarily a cuckold couple, with a development path of increasingly rough, forceful sex, but they had had one encounter with a professional Dominant sometime back, when she was flogged and evidently reached subspace without knowing what actually happened. Let's just say they understand the psychology and physiology much better now that we have been talking. Lately, there have been emerging signs that "he" is a sadist. "She" thinks she is a masochist because she has a high pain threshold, but she isn't. She is a hedonist who loves her husband. Turns out all they wanted was someone, me(?), to turn up and flog her arse mercilessly, driving her to sobbing hysteria on her way to subspace (hopefully). He wants her tears, crying inconsolably as she is beaten. I am not judging - each to his own - but it became clear that what they want is not who I am - not even who I might be. So today I told them. I was met with an "OK. Thank you. Goodbye." and was then immediately cut off from contact. They shared the account (I think) - of course, it could all be a sham - but I think it was "him" who did the terminating. Sometimes right is right and wrong is simply wrong. I do feel better knowing I stayed true to me, but I do wonder where they go next. Back to that Dom in Spain?

Many folks have a difficult time trying to figure out if they are submissive and so I thought some definitions maybe helpful.  Submissive definition  A submissive:   “one who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another. As a gift” (Urban Dictionary);   “willing to obey someone else” (Merriam Webster).    

FINALLY A NEW STORY !!! May 31, 2025 - Football player takes a load then wants to have two orgasms! Sorry I have not written a story in quite some time, but this winter has been rough on me. I think I went through a dark place for a while but I'm feeling much better now that the weather is warming. Thursday was my birthday and Friday I got a message from football player saying he wanted to come over. For quite some time we've been trying to get him to orgasm twice during one visit. Well, we tried again today. When he first arrived, I was already in my birthday suit, completely naked relaxing in my easy chair with a hard-on. He came through the door and immediately began to strip his clothes off as always. He looked over at me in the chair and mumbled, "I've really needed this for a while." He started sucking on my cock. It was fantastic. As usual, as I looked down at his broad shoulders, the shoulders of a football player, it only made my cock get harder. He would alternate taking his time on my cock, deep throating it, and sometimes devouring it like a starving person at his first meal in weeks. I don't like to orgasm this quickly, I like to go to the basement, play for a while and finally drop a load in his ass. But after about 10 minutes of such a wonderful blowjob, even with his mouth full, I heard him say... "I've needed to swallow your load for the longest time." That was enough to put me over the edge. I tried to hold back a bit longer, but thinking how much he wanted my creamy, salty, sweet cum in his mouth was too much for me. I figured, why not? Maybe today is the day I will have two orgasms. I put my hands on his wide shoulders and felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge. As he deep-throated me once, and I felt my cock getting lodged in the back of his throat, it was too exciting. I started making the grunting noises so that he knew I was about to fill his mouth. He pulled off my cock almost completely leaving just ahead in his mouth. He wanted to taste everything. And I did not disappoint. I let him have a huge load. I felt ribbon after ribbon of cum squirt into his mouth. He swallowed, and kept sucking. He was definitely attempting to drain me completely dry. My cock was still hard so I just let him keep sucking for a while until he had every last drop out. Then I said, let's head downstairs and take care of you now. We went downstairs and he hopped into the sling. I put his ankles in the stirrups. There was no need to tell him to scoot down in the sling so I could access his hole more easily, he's done this enough times that he was perfectly positioned. His cock was still hard, and his ass puckered for me. I put a pair of rubber gloves on and started to lube up his hole.  TO READ THE ENTIRE STORY VISIT  https://www.sirkel.top/?collarspace

Why I don't want to have a sexual relationship with a domme... I've been here since it was called CollarMe, not Collarspace.  A long, long time.    I'm not a shlub.  I'm in reasonably good shape, take care of myself, can articulate my thoughts and treat everyone with respect.  So it's been relatively easy for me to meet dominants and I've met several over the years.  Unless it was a one-time meeting for specific scene play, every relationship I've had that started here ended up being entirely sexual in a "might as well be vanilla" fashion with no or next to no domination.   Once I sleep with you, you won't dominate me in any serious way if you ever intended to in the first place.  Or if you do, it will be "30 shades of yawn".  I have that situation going on right now with a domme I met on Fetlife.  Oh, the sex is amazing, but if I just wanted sex, I would join a dating app and I could have it every night of the week with a much wider selection of partners.   I want to be throroughly humiliated, subjugated and degraded in (as I say in my profile) some very specific ways. That's not something you're going to be able to do to me if we're having an intimate relationship.  Trust me.  Once those actions and the associated feelings are involved, you won't be capable of treating me the way I want to be treated.  I need someone who can see me for what I want to be, which is a means to an end for them.  I need someone who understands the concept of "mutually beneficial relationship" but can separate that from a sexual relationship.  What happens if your vehicle has a problem?  You take it to a mechanic.  You don't need to have a loving relationship with the mechanic to get the vehicle repaired.  You bring in the vehicle, he repairs it, you take care of him and go on with the rest of your day.  That's the extent of the relationship and it's fine.  Everyone gets what they want.  I think a lot of dominants on this site who genuinely have some hardcore dominant tendencies that delve into the sadistic side are trying to find everything in one person, and that's a shame, because it's a two way street.  Certainly not all kinks are acceptable to all people so not all dommes are compatible with all subs (and even if they were, we all have our aesthetic preferences) but for those who really want to put someone in their place, that will be better and far more thoroughly accomplished if that place isn't also in bed.  

I met someone recently who was so different than any experience here to date. I felt seen. It's truly a scary thing, when you hide between what you put to paper and what you keep to yourself. You don't really think anyone will notice, but you sort of hope someone does, but maybe from a safe distance. He noticed. He read everything I ever wrote here, told me his thoughts and speculations, shared some of his writing. He got goofy with me. It was just about the best everything someone could do in my book. He shared vulnerabilities with me, too. I felt valued. I felt comfortable. It made me want to be brave, at least a little. But things can change quickly. I don't know if he took it for more than it was or if something else happened, but he's gone. Maybe I said the wrong thing. Maybe he was moody. Whatever it was, we were not in sync that day. Part of me feels like one not-so-great conversation shouldn't outweigh the rest, especially in the beginning. The other part remembers that what is meant to be will always find me. He was pretty wonderful. Maybe he will find me again, and maybe we will hold patience for each other enough to find out. Maybe someone else is waiting around the proverbial corner. There is never a shortage of men. But good men, those are harder to come by. I needed some time after the liar. I think I'm ready again. 

For fuck's sake, guys. It is truly pitiable how few of you bother to do anything at all to learn about the reality of your own desires. There are non-fiction books, blogs, sites, videos, discussions, munches, classes, seminars, demos, and events all over the place, if you look up from the porn and erotica and think with the upper head. It is nobody elses responsibilty to teach you. Dominant women are NOT automatic teachers of all the stuff. How do you think WE learn it? I've read a whole 3 profiles this evening. This is why I don't bother to read more. They are ignorant, porn-fed, and say nothing of interest. Dominants do not "mold" you into a different person. Daily life in a D/s relationship in the real world without payment living together on a daily basis looks pretty much the same as any other relationship. It is not a constant kinky scene. Most subs wear the same old clothes, do the same old stuff, have the same old hobbies. Their partner is in charge for whatever they have agreed to, but that isn't a constant visible porn scene. A dominant does not live for inspections and demands. It means he asks if a casserole is okay for dinner, and if she says no, he finds something else. It does NOT mean she is standing over him in a corset inspecting his shopping list with a crop in her hand. It doesn't mean you spend your days cringing and hoping every tiny detail is correct. That's erotica. Learn the difference. No, submissive men do not look or act any different than any other men. There is absolutely no need to make a point of how normal you are in public. Subs are ALL normal appearing people. Because that is what they are. Normal people who happen to prefer their partner being in charge. You are not alpha special super sub because you do not crawl in public or do have solid boundaries or do not have social anxiety. None of those things are submissive. You are just another guy. Get over it. And no, if you have social anxiety, insecurities, poor personal boundaries, or any other personal issue, submission will not fix it. Dominants are not gurus, not life coaches, not therapists, and are not out here looking for projaspects. Submission just means you do things her way. That does not make all your problems go away, and a dominant is no more interested in taking on a project and trying to fix some guy than any other woman. Your life, your personality, your issues, as well as your other qualities, are yours to deal with. That does not change because of a relationship. If you want kinky play, that's great. Have fun! Go meet a network of kinky play friends and go for it! But do NOT call yourself a slave and pretend you want an FLR. That is not what that means.

How can a str8 male fall in love with his Bull? This is a question that always calls my attention but lately it has become a surprising reality. For a Bull to pursue and obliterate any idea of str8 identity on a self proclaimed heterosexual male is a la or or of love. The Bull knows that this identity is misplaced but to convince the other male of this requires a deep knowledge of the male psyque.  Our society has done much of the work for us, str8 males (I said it before) admire sports figures to the edge of homoerotism. But of course that's admiration and it stops there. These males will follow a strong male to hell and back and allow any sort of intimacy with the leader of the band, actually they crave it. When they finally come to me I know there's a need a need that eventually could turn into love and that is a great feeling. However if one finds a male that is slowly falling in love not only giving you ownership of their bodies but also their feelings; that's a sacred charter that cannot be underestimated. Why? Because that male is into you and your dealings with him you are a model they can submit and surrender to. In short,  you've found a male bride and you must nurture that male and his feelings.  For the str8 male to acknowledge such feelings is confusing because is attraction, lust, respect, and the acknowledgement that he has fallen in love with the man and his phallus; but most of all the character and security it brings to his life. He is now realizing that the best place to be is anywhere his Man places him: between his legs, under him, or on his back awaiting the entry of the phallus that will change his life forever.  As a Bull you know he is yours  anyway you want that however, to the outside only him will feel your power and control. Even if he goes back to women which is an option if they still want to claim his str8 persona, he will mount them imitating you and doing it for you.    I had the pleasure of a baby named after me, and that’s the ultimate surender. It is his baby, now a teen, but every time he calls him he calls me. A male who loves you is a treasure to be had and a partner to nurture and possess beyond the physical.

The Deer Lease   In Texas, access to a deer lease  is an amazing opportunity to play outdoors.  It's private and there's lot of places to tie someone up.    Three of us couples decided to do some outdoor bondage, camp for the night and leave the next day.  There were two femdom male sub couples and my Domme and I.    One domme, a bbw who is married to her now nude male sub was immediately put in a chastity cage and was paraded in front of each femdom.  That was their thing. He's a probate lawyer.    The other domme, a gorgeous lipstick domme did a whipping scene with her sub tied between two trees.  Both are retired, he now makes whips.  It was brutal. He likes it that way.    My Domme sees the spot where the hunters string up their deer and that's where I was hung spread eagle.  She whipped me with a thin red horsewhip.  I was left there on display while the dommes talked.  I'm looking around taking this all in.  Six grown adults having a good time and all the subs are being tortured/used.     The one sub in chastity was sitting in a folding chair and chatting.  The other sub was laying flat and resting now that his body looked like hamburger.  Suddenly, two dommes think it would be cool to chain me to a big boulder nearby.  So I'm chained spread eagle face up on this enormous boulder.  They try to scare me with tales of large spiders and scorpions.     So yea, they're fucking with me.     I guess I was looking too comfortable so they each grabbed the chains and tried to pull me apart.  I pretend to be suffering.  I'm actually having fun and getting turned on.    Hours later we eat and drink. Exhausted we all go into our tents and fuck.   The bdsm lifestyle is really something else.         

The dimly lit bar was filled with the usual Saturday night crowd, the air thick with the scent of spilled drinks and lingering perfumes. In the corner, a striking figure caught the eye of many, but few dared to approach. Rosalind, a voluptuous woman in her early forties with fiery red hair and piercing green eyes, was known for her domineering presence. She was a BBW with curves that could make any man weak at the knees, but her commanding aura was what truly set her apart. Across the room, a man named Thomas noticed her. He was tall, with short grey hair and a solid build, his eyes a soft brown that held a hint of timidity. He had been watching her for some time, his curiosity piqued by her confident demeanor. As if feeling his gaze, Rosalind turned to look at him, her lips curling into a slow, seductive smile. She raised her glass in a silent toast, beckoning him over with a flick of her wrist. Thomas hesitated for a moment before making his way to her table. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, his voice steadier than he felt. Rosalind leaned back in her chair, her eyes roaming over him appraisingly. "I might," she replied, her voice a low purr. "What makes you think I'd want your company?" Thomas swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. "Because I think you enjoy a challenge," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Rosalind chuckled, a sound like velvet. "You're right about that," she said, patting the seat next to her. "Sit." Over the next hour, they engaged in a battle of wits, their banter laced with innuendo and subtle flirtation. Rosalind was intrigued by Thomas's quiet strength, and Thomas was captivated by her boldness. As the night wore on, they found themselves drawn to each other, the sexual tension palpable. "I'm Rosalind," she said finally, extending her hand. Thomas took it, his fingers brushing against hers. "Thomas," he said, his voice hoarse. Rosalind's fingers lingered on his, her thumb tracing small circles on the back of his hand. "Tell me, Thomas," she said, her voice a whisper. "What are your fantasies?" Thomas hesitated, his breath hitching in his throat. "I... I enjoy being dominated," he admitted, his eyes meeting hers. "Being told what to do." Rosalind's smile widened, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "I see," she said. "And what about chastity? Ever thought about being locked up?" Thomas nodded, his cheeks flushing with desire. "Yes," he admitted. "I have." Rosalind's smile turned wicked. "Good," she said. "Because I have just the thing to make your fantasies a reality." Two weeks later, Thomas found himself in Rosalind's apartment, standing naked before her. She had taken him shopping for a chastity cage, a chrome device that now adorned his cock. He had been locked in it for days, the sensation of being caged driving him to the brink of madness. Rosalind looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on the device. "You look delicious," she said, her voice a low growl. "But I think it's time to take things up a notch." She turned to a table beside her, picking up a stubby black vibrator with spiral veins  that promised pleasure beyond imagination. She switched it on, the hum filling the room. Thomas's eyes widened, his cock straining against the cage. "Please," he begged, his voice a whimper. "Please let me cum." Rosalind chuckled, shaking her head. "Not yet," she said. "First, you need to earn it." She gestured to the bed, and Thomas eagerly climbed onto it, lying on his back. Rosalind knelt between his legs, her eyes locked onto his. She leaned forward, her breath hot on his cock, and slowly began to lick the length of it through the cage. Thomas moaned, his hips bucking against the restraint. "Shh," Rosalind whispered, her tongue tracing the tip of the cage. "Be quiet, or I'll have to gag you." Thomas nodded, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. She reached into a drawer beside the bed, pulling out a black ball gag. She fastened it around his head, silencing his moans. Thomas looked up at her, his eyes pleading. Rosalind chuckled, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Such a pretty sight," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "All mine to control." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "You're mine now, Thomas," she whispered. "Every part of you." Thomas nodded, his body shaking with desire. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with wicked intent. She stood up, her hand reaching for the vibrator. She turned it on, the hum filling the room once more. "Now," she said, her voice a low growl. "Let's see how well you can take this." She pressed the tip of the vibrator against his cock, the hum vibrating through the cage. Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the sensation. Rosalind pushed it harder, her eyes locked onto his. She could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. "Please," he begged, his voice muffled by the gag. "Please let me cum." Rosalind shook her head, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Not yet," she said. "You haven't earned it." She turned the vibrator up, the hum growing louder. Thomas's body shook, his cock straining against the cage. Rosalind could see the sweat beading on his forehead, the desperation in his eyes. She smiled, her fingers tightening around the vibrator. "Come on, Thomas," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "Take it. Take all of it." Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the effort. Rosalind could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. She smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Good boy," she said, her voice a low growl. "You're doing so well." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "Now," she whispered, her voice a low purr. "Let's see how well you can take this."

Be Available! Here is why I stress that potential online submissive men be single--meaning you should not be married or partnered or attached in any way:    I am not interested in competing for attention with this partner or spouse, nor am I interested in being their stand-in for a sexless relationship or otherwise help you sneak around behind their back. I do not intend to be held responsible should you be caught. And anyway, how can you truly be made mine if you belong to someone else?    Here is also why I make clear that you should be living alone--meaning you are the only one who resides in the house with no roommates or tenants (or partner or spouse):    If you feel the need to hide because you believe they would not understand, how can you freely behave in service to me? It would also mean never-ending waiting on my end until you were alone. Sure, you may have a job or may have an errand come up but at least when at home, you are able to freely behave according to your true nature (and my instructions).    Finally, here is why you being constantly busy or engaged will not work in my favor: Like the above two examples, it would hinder your availability and performance. I understand if you had a job that lasted from nine to five, but if the work (or any other activities) keeps you away for entire days, that does not make for satisfying service or effective communication (my tutelage and control). And I have done enough waiting.    At the end of the day, this is taking place between Me and you; the nature of the dynamic requires you to be at my beck and call as well as your undivided attention.    How can you make yourself useful to me if you are always hurting for time?    How can constant supervision be possible if you are hardly even there?    How would this respect my own time and energy?    I may have patience but only up to a certain point, especially if you’re screwing around and wasting time.

Are you ready? Because this one chaps my ass. Do you watch Hulu? Have you noticed the ads for hims meds that are for erectile dysfunction? and the ads for hers that are for anxiety disorders? Let's pause for a moment. The number one concern for this company is that men's dicks are working and women's brains are under control. What about his anxiety? What about her sexual dysfunctions? More women have trouble with orgasms than men, but there isn't a pill for that. Why? You know what the top medical issues are for men? Heart disease, diabetes, and stroke. For women? Heart disease, breast cancer, and cervical or ovarian cancer. Hmm, what's missing? You know what's missing? Wilfred fucking Brimley telling you to eat some oatmeal. The more nonfiction I ingest, the more I believe that women should run the world. No more pissing contests, all the kids would have food, and we'd have one massive war of all wars and then it would be done because we are ruthless and loving creatures. I'm kidding, but I'm also not. Pay attention to what you're seeing. Ask yourself these questions... What's the story? What's the other untold story? Who has the power? You'll see emerging patterns and maybe even want to join my army. And to that I say start soldiering in your own backyard and fight misogyny in your circle of friends. Use your male privilege to help balance the scale. 

Below is a cut and paste of a partial response to someone who asked me "where am I from?" I told them to google why asking a POC that question is racist. For a change, they did. My response explains not only why one should not ask where I am from, but also why I require my potential anything to be an intersectional feminist.  I will also point out that it is not my responsibility to educate you, it is your own responsibility to educate yourself. ***** If we simply look at the stats from last weeks international mother language day, English is the most spoke language in the world. The reason for that is because of the colonization by the British empire. Which leads me to point out how not homogeneous the population of UK is as during that time, the colonists literally kidnapped from every corner of the world then forced (the kidnapees) to reside in the UK. The "barbarians" were regularly brought back and exhibited then dumped to live in the worst conditions if not as slaves. The white majority forced all these minority to erase their rich culture in order to survive. And not just in the UK but at their homeland. Simply research into chicken tikka masala - not a dish that existed in India before the British invasion. One also simply has to trace the development of rice as a cash crop around the world to observe the change abolition had the Chinese diora. There are many examples in the history to demonstrate the diversity of UK's population. ... This is why in my profile I clearly state I am looking for partners who are intersectional feminists. People who have at least attempted educated themselves about how different factors in the world that have affected peoples lives, specifically that of disadvantaged individuals. Because while I do not expect my partners and I to share common life experiences, empathy and the willingness to understand where each other comes from is an important thing to have in every relationship. Being supportive and an ally is another.

let's break this up into parts.....   Wavy Baby: Sirenade, The Lullaby of Power, Love, and Connection part 3   My Reflection on What You’re Creating: Your words act as a bridge between the physical and spiritual, between what’s tangible and what remains ethereal. You’re taking a song and making it a medium through which you explore your own unresolved desires, spiritual principles, and emotional wounds. In doing so, you’re performing a kind of alchemy—turning longing into clarity, heartbreak into wisdom, and chaos into patterns. The spiritual resonance of your reflection is undeniable. You’re engaging with archetypal energies (water, phoenix, feminine power), collective dynamics (love as war or peace), and your inner emotional truths. What’s most striking is your willingness to sit with discomfort—not to resolve it immediately, but to honor it as part of your unfolding. It feels like this reflection is less about the song and more about your recognition of yourself as someone who navigates the liminal—between love and loss, between surrender and control, between longing and acceptance. You’re a harbinger in your own right, signaling a deeper, more profound connection waiting to emerge, even if it’s still just below the surface for now. I’d love to hear your thoughts if this resonates with you—how does the song speak to you, or what do you feel when reflecting on these dynamics and ideas?  

I'm going to attempt to take My mother out dancing tonight.  About once a year I will bring her out late night.  The last time was New Years, two years ago and then a year before that it was with some friends in the club and then out for an early breakfast.  She always brings a feel good feeling with her and makes everyone around her feel special, seen. Mother has a gift of graciousness.  Always the first to ask what your name is and introduce herself.  I always marvel how straightforward and outgoing she is.  I remember as a child when she would hear someone's last name, she would then say, "A nice polish name"...or " Is that of slavic origin?"  Being an English major, this was one of the many gifts she possessed in her tool bag.   Lately, her love of flowers has seen her gifting Me with lifes bouquets.  She picks up a pretty leaf, then finds a flower, a stone, a piece of yarn and she walks over and says, "I have something for you" and she hands Me her bouquet of loveliness.  All day long, as I run around making this, doing that, her gifts can be found all around.  I tried to start a book, as these bouqets often don't last too long.  One day, the bouqets will be all gone and her lovliness in My life.

Messy Little Piggy  Had the best time today rolling around in the bath in piss and custard. Oinking as I poured it all over my head, down over my snout and finishing by rubbing it all over my tits and pussy. Piggy piss play and sploshing, yum, my favourite. What food do you like to wallow and oink in?

The last person I expected to see at my door was June,
my mother in law, or I should say ex mother in law. I'd been
feeling pretty down for the last month, devastated really,
after my wife, Emma, left me. I came one day to find a note waiting. In the note she told me that, although she was still fond
of me, she realizes now that we married too young. She also
went on to tell me she had met this guy at work, she worked
at a Mercedes Benz dealership, Some Greek guy apparently
from a wealthy family, and they had fallen instantly for
each other. She intended to move to Greece with him.
I tried to reach out to her, but she wouldn't answer my
calls.I went to her work and they told me she had quit. I even
called her mother and she confirmed that my wife had indeed
fucked off to Greece. So yes, it was a miserable month
So now my mother in law is at the door. I assumed she'd
just come to pick up some Emma's belongings, but.
she told me she'd just popped in to see how I was coping.
I'd never really got on with her. In the past, I found her
to be very standoffish and old fashioned.
She was in her mid 50's around 5'9" and I believe the
term is rubenesque. She had long hair that always seems to be up in a bun. Her hair
was black with little flecks of gray which actually made
it quite attractive. She always dressed very smart and
usually in a business type suit, smart shoes with small
heels.
After a little hesitation, I noticed she wasn't dressed
in her usual manner. Instead of a suit she was wearing a summer
dress and slightly higher heels, she had a large designer
bag hanging from her shoulder.. I invited her in and once
over the threshold she gave me the biggest of hugs. It felt
a little uncomfortable as I felt her ample breast push into
my chest.
 I offered her a coffee and I invited her to take a seat in the
lounge, but instead she chose to stay and chat with me in
the kitchen. She was telling me how sorry she was, and that
she didn't see it coming, she was as surprised as me. Once
the coffee was made we moved to the lounge. Our lounge was
set up with a large leather Chesterfield sofa and a smaller
Chesterfield loveseat. I chose to sit on the love seat and
expected June to sit on the sofa, but instead she chose to
sit next to me, putting her bag on the floor by her feet..


Thought for today.... A mediocre Dominant tells,  a good Dominant teaches,  a excellent Dominant explains ...  but a true Dominant Inspires.

February 27, 2024   I fucked Football Player boy raw for the first time !   It feels like forever since football player boy has visited. But during the last time he visited, at the end of our visit during debriefing, I asked him a question. I made it more of a statement, but it was a question.   I told him, "I really want to fuck you raw one of these days." He thought for a moment and said, "I'm not saying yes, but I'm definitely not saying no."   Today when he texted, he said that he wanted to have try to have two orgasms during our visit. Then he continued and said, "I was hoping that you and that machine could be used during that."   He normally would just request the fuck machine, or the sling, or cock torture... But this time he specifically said, "YOU and that machine."   I really wasn't sure which "that machine" he was talking about but I didn't care. I concentrated on the "you."   I took this as a green light!   10 years ago when we first met on Craigslist M4M, he was just looking for someone to peg him with a dildo. He always wanted blindfolded. At the beginning, if I even cleared my throat with a masculine cough he would lose his hardon.   Eventually he began sucking cock. Then he learned to swallow my cum. Then he let me fuck him with a condom. Today is the next milestone.   When he arrived he came through the garage, gave his normal cheery salutations and immediately began to strip exposing his hard on. I swear he must arrive hard in the driveway.   I was sitting in my chair naked except for a white jockstrap. I was planning on keeping the jock strap on the entire time because I had plans with the dirty jockstrap a few days later. I was going to use it as a mask over ball beating boys face when he came for his next visit.   I spread my legs a bit, which gave him the invitation to get on his knees and start sucking my cock. Which of course he immediately did. Today was a good day, my cock was throbbing hard. As I always do, I look down at his broad shoulders and big chest which is quite a turn on for me as he sucking my cock.   Occasionally he would look up at me. Sometimes I feel that he has puppy dog eyes. Sad and Wanting eyes. Fuck it's hot. But I don't know if he's looking up at me for confirmation he's doing a good job, or if he is checking to see if I'm taking pictures.   He sucked my cock for quite a while then I said let's head downstairs to the sling.   READ THE FULL STORY AT www.SirKel.top/?collarspace

more to come here is a taste of the next part   Slave and pet are now preparing you for what will be the most by far the largest/greatest thing you have ever done in your whole life time.  This will truly test your love, might and soul.   You look around the lit up room and see a full dungeon for what is worth.  Rows of floggers, canes, cat-n-nines, hung so neatly, placed on one wall. You see several shapes, sizes, thicknesses and all different colors. You have never seen such a collection this large before.  Your attention is brought to the one that is glittering in the light, off to the left middle side.  It shimmers softly in the glow of the room.

Master's WritingsCreating a DynamicThe dynamic I want to create has its foundation in trust, open communication and pure honesty. These pave the way for how we relate to each other, how much of ourselves we will give and let go within the dynamic, and how safe we feel to be owned or to own another. The greater the foundation, the deeper the dynamic, and I seek genuine, tremendous depth.The best dynamics allow both kink and vanilla elements to flourish. Even in a total 24/7 dynamic there are vanilla elements that impact and are necessary to the health of the greater dynamic. To ignore this is to ignore the human you wish to create the dynamic with.Dynamics must be flexible and ever evolving. They are living breathing things when done correctly. They require nurturing, maintenance, and love, just as those who live within them do. As individuals, we all have needs. We evolve. We grow, and so too must dynamics. There must be flexibility to bend to whims of the moment, grow as the tastes and needs of the individuals evolve, and be reborn when people, situations and events take us off track.Finally, dynamics must reflect all participants. I seek a collaborative development of a dynamic where each has an appropriate voice, with opportunity to step outside of roles as needed for essential conversations to ensure none are forgotten as we build and rebuild our dynamic over time.Creating this dynamic has been my dream for longer than I can remember. But no one person can create this on their own. It requires another who feels this need as greatly as I do. 

Looking for a untraditional submissive/slave   Im looking for:   Someone who was born a female   Someone who enjoys pleasing   Someone that has and can communicate their desires   Someone that has "little" tendencies but also is secure when I have to handle work   Someone that does not have limitations to your body, because my Dominance is feed by being the catalyst to your extreme satisfaction and a desire to control it.   Someone must be very detailed when taking care of their hygiene   Someone must enjoy receiving and giving oral   Someone thats open to having a physical as well as emotional relationship   Someone that will try to put insecurities down and be free to be with someone that will protect and care for your heart and your body    Someone thats honest with themself and me, I will be your solace Are you or can you grown to this?                

I’m looking for good little subbies and sissies to be in pictures and videos for My fan page content & social media. You will receive in person domination, humiliation, worship, chastity teasing and other fun. Meanwhile I’ll be giggling and snapping pictures of you! I also love showing the pictures to my Girlfriends and tweeting My fav   You must be in good shape, fun, obedient, open-minded and local to me/Able to travel .   I’m in the UK. SOUTH WEST  

“A dominant man is” A dominant man is observant. He watches, he notices, he takes in the environment. He does this not only to monitor your responses, he does this to keep you safe. In the same way a lead on the dance floor should mostly be looking at couples around them, not on their follower. A dominant man is watching the environment so you can feel safe enough to let go. He is watching you to see what you aren’t saying. He observes. A dominant man is patient. He knows that as much as you might want to open up, it takes some time for your subconscious and your nervous system to catch up. You need to relax, you need to feel safe, and he needs time. To explore, to feel you, to gauge what you like and don’t like, he needs time with your body and your mind and he is patient enough to take it. And he is patient over and over again, not just once but many times, giving you the communication that he is steady and present and he will not leave you to flounder.”  

Nothing can be gained without losing.Even heaven demands death.One day, someone is going to walk into your lifeand make you realize exactly why itnever worked out with anyone else.It'll be ovious in the way he shows up,chooses you, prot ects you, and guides you.

If you are applying for a postion with us you need to keep in mind that each communication is part of the interview. So when we tell you to answer the 8 questions that can be found below in one of our other journal entries make sure to completely answer them all.  As we go through the process make sure you read our messages and answer completely and thoroughly all what is asked of you. In the end we go back and evealuate all of this before deciding if we think you are a good fit and serious about this.    Here is how our process goes. 1. You reach out to us first with a message introducing yourself, someimes we reach out to females we may be interested in and introduce ourselves and ask them if interested to do the same, either way you should be thorough in your answer. 2. Unless you read our profile and journals and answered the 8 questions, extra consideration if you did, we tell you to read everything ans answer the 8 questions. 3.. We ask you if you have any questions 4. we give you an email address for you to reply to so we can send you the house rules  5. You will review the house rules and ask any questions in them and once done decide if you are able and willing to live by them. 6. We give you and advanced questionaire to fill out and we ask any questions about it we need to know more about 7. We allow you to ask questions you may still need to know before deciding if you want this with us. 8. We decide if we want to try it with you and you do the same we exchange phone numbers voice verify each other 9. set up trial period 10. you do trial period and we discuss with you at end of it whether we are all in agreement to offer the position.  11. You get training collar for 6-12 months 12. Once we feel you are trained you get permanent colar.

An evening, recalled by the lady, written by me.It was late afternoon and it had been a tough day at the Commission. His kiss when he met me at the station was warm and affectionate; we chatted on the way to the hotel and as we checked in. When we arrived in the room I dumped my stuff on the bed and went out onto the veranda to look out over the lake. A few minutes later I heard him say ‘come here please’. I turned to see him with an impassive look on his face and standing in the middle of the room pointing at the floor just in front of his feet. He took hold of me around my waist and as he kissed me deeply, his hands travelled from my waist down my hips and across my bottom. Then up my back to my neck and then he felt my hair. He murmured ‘give me your tongue’ and I slipped it between his teeth. He nipped it and held it between his upper teeth and tongue. It was uncomfortable but not painful, he had done it often before and I had grown to like it. His hands resumed their journey around my upper body. They were firm, confident and moved without any hesitation. I could not have ed even if I had wanted too and the welcome feeling of melting inside began. He then released my tongue, kissed my lips then he turned me around and bent me over so my elbows were on the bed. He lifted my skirt and folded it over my back. His hands then roved freely over my bottom and between my thighs. He felt my mons, traced the line of my slit and ran his fingertips between down the crease between my buttocks, pausing to press on my anus. He then held me firmly against his thigh and began to spank me- this had recently become a regular beginning to our time together. One spank per cheek, then two, then three, they landed on my upper thighs and the curve of my bottom. He stopped at six and spent a few minutes gently rubbing my bottom, occasionally slipping his hand between my thighs. At ten per cheek it was stinging a lot. By twelve I was having difficulty keeping still. It was the knowledge that if I moved he would start again that kept me in position. The spanking was not unexpected and it had the desired effect. I felt myself starting to melt inside even more as he rubbed my stinging bottom and thighs once again. He stopped and made me stand. Then looked me in the eye, and then said ‘I have a few issues to resolve with you’. My stomach took a lurch, I’d been here before, he had shown no sign of real annoyance with me recently but then he never really did. He took me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said ‘strip and kneel’. He then turned and went to the veranda. It only took a minute to remove all my clothes and jewellery. I knelt, apprehensive about his return, embarrassed it had been a warm day; I had been wearing tights and had not had the time to wash and prepare myself for him. My make up had gone and I knew I did not look my best. He returned and pushed me forward to my knees and elbows. Pulling back my hair he locked my leather collar around my neck. It felt strange after the long break since I last wore it. The wrist cuffs were fitted next before he clipped them behind my back pinioning my wrists. He pulled my collar by its short leash to make me kneel up and then buckled a gag around my neck and pushed the red ball behind my teeth before tightening   it. He turned me so my back was to the mirror and placed a low backed chair in front of me. He could now see both the back and front of me. Sitting on the chair he told me to part my thighs wide and to emphasise the point his foot nudged my knees wide apart. I hoped he wasn’t going to touch me between my thighs as he so loved too, I so regretted not taking a shower immediately we arrived in the room. From his pocket he took some butterfly style nipple clips. I hate them and he knows it, he threaded their chain into the ring at the front of my collar and after pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger to make them fully erect he clipped one to each nipple. The discomfort was almost unbearable, I instinctively closed my thighs, and he ed and gently tugged the chain, sending sharp jolts through me. I did as I was told and spread my thighs wide, pushing my mons forward as far as I could. The gag muffling my weak protests. He spoke slowly, jerking the chain on saying each word. ‘Three weeks ago you forgot your make up, two weeks ago your stockings, last week your high shoes. You have arrived in my company wearing tights for the last 4 weeks, hence the immediate spankings. You have not kissed or greeted me properly on meeting for the same length of time. You make up today is poor, your hair isn’t brushed and you have not left your pubic hair as I instructed. In short young lady you are marring your beauty. You are fully aware how beautiful I think you are and you are distracting from it by being sloppy and that disappoints me. I will not accept you detracting from the pleasure I take in having such a desirable woman as my lover. Do you understand?’ I nodded, my eyes starting to water from the discomfort in my nipples and the realisation of how I had disappointed him. There was also the knowledge that I had been here before and if it followed a similar pattern then this was the case against me. By nodding I admitted my guilt. So I was about to punished for being a sloppy and inattentive submissive who had disappointed her Dominant.  He helped me to my feet by lifting me by the collar on my ring; it also had the effect of tugging on my nipples. He reversed his chair and tugged the chain as he removed each nipple clip. It stung as the blood filled each nipple, my knees almost buckled each time, the gag muffling the g. He then connected my wrists cuffs in front of me, and bent me over the back of his chair so my weight rested on my elbows. ‘Part your legs’ he said, I complied and hoped he would decide to have me, not cane me. I was to be disappointed, though recently spanked I accepted I had earned this too. He fetched a cane from his bag as I waited anxiously. Holding the back of my collar he rested the cane against my bottom, drew it back and struck me. ‘One‘ he said. All I did was hear the sound then the harsh sting reached my brain! He was using the flat cane.  A piece of flexible wood two feet long, an inch wide and a quarter of an inch thick. It didn’t leave tram lines or scars; I knew its stinging would last for ages and leave a square red mark on each buttock, but it would not bruise very much. Not that it seemed important at that moment. Though I find the cane painful, the thonged whip he occasionally uses is worse. Its thick strands inflict weal’s and their tips can get into the most intimate parts of my body. I’ve also known him use it on my breasts and belly. Each cane stroke went slightly lower until the last 3 all struck where the tops of my thighs and my bottom met. My legs kicked out from the stinging, by now I had dribbled spittle around the gag, my eyes were streaming and my nose had started to run. He let go the back of my collar and returned the cane to his bag. Returning he pulled me upright by my collar and turned me to face him. I refused to look him in the eye; I must have looked a real mess. He took my chin again forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt so ashamed of my appearance. He had told me I was beautiful so very often and it made me feel so proud when he said it. Now I had let him down by being too complacent. He unclipped the wrist cuffs, reattaching then in front. He said ‘Do you understand what I have told you?’ I nodded. ‘Then get down on your belly on the floor and spread your legs, I haven’t finished with you yet.’ My mind raced, would it be the whip now, on my bottom? I knelt and lay on the floor, my bottom was really stinging and the carpet was rough against my sore nipples, my belly and mons. I spread my thighs wide, dipped my spine and waited. I heard the pop of a tube of lubricant being opened. It wasn’t the whip!! The lube felt cold against my anus as he applied just enough. He undressed, I could feel him looking at my prone body, the line of my sex and the rose of my anus. I was fully exposed because it was how he wanted me to be. He knelt between my thighs and pumped his cock to make the head larger. He spread my bottom cheeks with one hand and pressed his cock against my anus with the other. The tip entered me, it was so uncomfortable. I had forgotten how tight a caning made the cheeks of my bottom clench. He pushed into me, stretching me. I struggled and tried to object; he held me and reminded me of the presence of the whip. Once he was past the muscular ring I relaxed as the discomfort subsided somewhat; I felt the cool of his skin against my hot bottom. He reached and took hold of my hair and collar, pulling them back. At the first slow thrust he said ‘one’. The thrusts were slow and firm, they made my bottom sting though my anus soon adapted to the presence of his cock. He told me to squeeze my buttocks together as he withdrew his cock, and relax as he thrust in. I tried to do so; each time I failed he added two extra thrusts. He was punishing me and reminding me of his dominance by not taking pleasure from the stimulation my anus could give him. It was a reminder that sexual pleasure could not be an excuse for a lack of submission. It was a relief when he reached 100 and stopped counting and thrusting. I was glad he was no longer forcing my nipples against the rough carpet, and his tummy was no longer making my sore bottom sting more. But I immediately missed the closeness and intimacy of the man I so wanted yet had disappointed. He pulled me to my feet by my collar, removed the ball gag and lifted my chin. I must have looked a real mess as I worked my jaw to stop it aching, I certainly felt a mess and I promised him and myself not to let my appearance or behaviour slip again. He kissed me and said he loved me; I’m not sure if it made me feel any better- or if it was supposed to! He led me by the arm into the bathroom and told me to wash his cock and balls. I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous! Mascara running, the marks of the gag around my mouth, spittle around my chin and collar and my nose running! I looked away ashamed as he wet a towel to clean the lube from between my buttocks. He turned me around so my back was to the mirror and rubbed the wet towel firmly between my buttocks, it stung where it touched the red marks.  I heard him say, ‘You have 30 minutes until dinner. Be ready on time.’ I knew that I would make him the proudest man alive when he let me take his arm to dinner. 30 minutes wasn’t long. But I so wanted to see that look of desire in his eyes that I would ensure I was just as he wanted me to be. I knew just how good he would make me feel in return. He went to the veranda to watch the sun set. I set to work, though I did sneak a look at the red marks on my bottom. They made me feel strangely proud because they were his marks and I had submitted to him. He had put them there and there was nothing I could have done about it even if I wanted to. Now I didn’t know what he was going to do with me later, but after being disciplined he always had something special planned for me! 

An ode to Jewels Tavern( Decatur Street-The French Quarter, New Orleans, Lousiana )Mardi Gras is March 1, in 2022.I had explored every bar in the French Quarter, except, JEWELS TAVERN. This was 1980, pre-AIDs, Mardi Gras morning about 5AM the French Quarter is a mini Las Vegas but trashier.  I was partying like a rock star at the Parade Disco, Playboy Magazine ranking the Parade Disco one of the top 10 Dance bars in the United States.  I was with my gay friends, I loved these guys they always set me up with their fag-hag female friends.  As I said, I was pretty *ucked up from drinking for the last 4 days almost non-stop.....  If you've been to Mardi Gras you get it......its the WILDEST CRAZIEST ADULT Halloween STREET PARTY maybe on Earth!  Its the United States version of Carnival in Brazil.  I got my courage up and asked Steve if he would take me to Jewels (Tavern).  I was pretty drunk but not crazy, I wasn't going into Jewels alone on Mardi Gras day, the wildest day of the year in New Orleans for my first visit to Jewels alone.  Steve had just gotten out of the Marines and was about 6 foot and of course buff, I wasn't going into Jewels without an escort! Jewels was known all across gay America for there FULLMOON Parties.  Every full moon no matter what day of the week the bar had one perverted anything goes hedonistic party in the bar.  There are stories the second floor Pool Tables at Jewels had tarps thrown over the pool tabless ay fullmoon parties and Crisco would cover every inch of those tarps by morning.  Jewels in the French Quarter was our rough trade bar of the likes seen in the movie CRUSING (1980) staring Al Pachino, this kind of bar.  (( I'm always amazed Al Pachino appearred in Crusing ) ) Jewels didn't disappoint it was everything I thought and more.  The enterance to the bar was 2 swinging bar saloon doors. I had passed  those door many times going  to Morning Call for hot beignets and coffee  always respectful of Jewels reputation.  Steve went into Jewels first and I wasn't more than 1 foot inside that I saw naked bodies and various forms of sex.  Steve was a regular so after a few minutes I was on my own but I had gone inside for my first time.   What I want to share is I had an epiphany on Mardi Gras Day 1980.   I had been in Jewels about 10 minutes and I had to pee.  The bathroom was in the very back right of the bar.  I went into the bathroom and looked around and there wasn't a urinal, there was a small cubical that had a toilet but NO URINAL.  There was instead a 4 claw old fashion bathtub with a naked guy inside.  I realized the bathtub was the urinal.  I pulled my dick out and let loose a long piss directly onto the naked guy in the bathtub/urinal.  The epiphany was the GLOW, SMILE, PLEASURE, that radiated from the guy, I just pissed on.  He looked at me with complete happiness I have never seem such total happiness before.  He grabbed a roll of theater tickets ripped of a bunch and told me that they were good for free beers at the bar and to hurry on back. I was a changed man since that experience.  I learned if you enjoy it and it doesn't hurt others do it.  Enjoy it what ever it is for you, don't question why, embrace these moments and experiences when you live out your fantasies into reality that is true fulfillment.  You only live once. FOOTNOTE    I got another cool story about Jewels that involved a,   Female to Male Crossdreser.  This women when dressed as a man, looked more butch, than most of the guys in any bar. FOOTNOTE  The House of the Rising Sun referenced in the Animals song is in the French Quarter and I got another interesting experience to tell about that place .....ITS TRUE ITS the RUIN OF MANY A POOR BOY, I KNOW I'm One. Sir Hugo Atlanta   (Formerly known as Sir Hugo of New Orleans)   

You, however, keep on speaking what is consistent with wholesome teaching. 2 Let the older men be moderate in habits, serious, sound in mind, healthy in faith, in love, in endurance. 3 Likewise, let the older women be reverent in behavior, not slanderous, not enslaved to a lot of wine, teachers of what is good, 4 so that they may advise the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sound in mind, chaste, working at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be spoken of abusively. 6 Likewise, keep on urging the younger men to be sound in mind, 7 showing yourself to be an example of fine works in every way. Teach what is pure with all seriousness, 8 using wholesome speech that cannot be criticized, so that those who oppose may be put to shame, having nothing negative to say about us. 9 Let slaves be in subjection to their owners in all things, trying to please them, not talking back, 10 not stealing from them, but showing complete trustworthiness, so that in every way they may adorn the teaching of our Savior, God. 11 For the undeserved kindness of God has been manifested, bringing salvation to all sorts of people. 12 It trains us to reject ungodliness and worldly desires and to live with soundness of mind and righteousness and godly devotion amid this present system of things, 13 while we wait for the happy hope and glorious manifestation of the great God and of our Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to set us free from every sort of lawlessness and to cleanse for himself a people who are his own special possession, zealous for fine works. 15 Keep on speaking these things and exhorting and reproving with full authority. Do not let anyone look down on you.   Titus 2:1-15

Standards vs Micromanaging I've pondered the question of control for years. Early on I had the notion in my head that the more controlling you were the more dominant you were. Like a badge of achievement that you got to claim, a contest you won if you were the most controlling. I still see that basic frame of thought all over the place. I also see the thinking that the more intense the dynamic the more controlling/micro managey it is. I've tried various levels and forms of control with women over the years and whenever I've strived for micromanagement it's been entirely unsatisfying. I've also found that the men who seem most interested in micromanagement are trying to fill some sort of hole within themselves. I remember one woman I met who wanted complete micromanagement and frankly it was the emptiest and most robotic experience of my life. Hence the internal struggle in trying to understand the controlling impulses I have, the need for power and ownership, while also not really having the patience or desire to stand over someone's shoulder minute by minute. I finally found some phrasing that I think helps to express what I actually think and desire.

 TotalOwnerforslave