bdsmseeker 

What is wrong with people? So once again I find myself here, trying to fathom out what has happened. A certain someone from here has decided that after a protracted conversation my being polite and making sensible concessions is my being not what they seek. Honestly. This is who I am, manners cost nothing yet form the basis of my being.  I use them in everyday life and conversation and they have served me well.  Yet here once again I am faced with them being seen as negative. Where are the people on here who want to be treated like real human beings, with respect, honour, and morality? If my being me and using manners is going to offend then step away. If my asking questions is not for you then don't approach. If I want to build trust and you don't then look elsewhere. Rant over!

The subject of politics came up during a recent talk with a submissive man and it quickly went to the subject of abortion, and I had some marvelous revelations on the subject of politics and religion and sex.  I paraphrase in part and the rest is history... "I voted for Trump - his heart is in a good place" "I think his heart could be in a good place yet he took action to ensure that My right to sovereignty over My body was abolished.  What the fuck is that?" "Well, he didn't do it to you."  "Yes, yes he did.  He placed two Supreme Court Justices to help overturn Roe v Wade." "Ruth Bader Ginsberg didn't really believe in blah blah blah" "I don't care what she believed in, no one has a right to control My body." "So how long?  How many weeks?" "How many weeks for what? There are NO weeks.  This is not anyone else's decision." "Well, that's murder."  "Who says?  You? Your friends, your church, your politics?" "Do you believe in murder?" "Who are we murdering?  Do you have leather cowhide seats and shoes on your feet?  How about all the meat which you eat - that is murder - terminating life - where are the rules?  Why  is it murder if I am terminating the propagation of cells within My body?  Are we murdering cancer?  Who told you you get to choose what is okay to call murder and what is not?  Who told you you could decide for Me?  I terminate those cells in My body from manifesting and it is My right to do so." "I didn't say murder." "Yes you did.  You said at what time, how many weeks does it become murder.  You are now classifying Me as a murderer if I conduct business on My body." Silence. "What I am saying is, you cannot speak to Me about this subject.  You have no idea what you are talking about.  No one is telling you you have to pay $500 a month for a life, if you conceive with a woman.  No one is controlling your sex! You do not have a right, no one does and it's none of your business.  Is this an issue of the Bible?  Who told the bible it had ANY business in My cunt?  This is My body.  No one gets to decide what happens with it except for Me. Period.  "Well what if you want the baby and the mother doesn't?"  "Tough cookies!  TOO bad.  That is not a decision for you to make and you don't then get to have some tantrum and make Me have a child - that is bloody bullshit!  What the fuck are we talking about?  You don't get to claim some part of My sex just because you have a constant erection and implanted in Me.  You made a D O N A T I O N.  Once you implant your seed, you gave up the rights to that seed.  Once it passes to Me, it then belongs to Me.  What are you, some indian giver?  If you want some commitment to My sex, then that has to be in some kind of sex prenup. I can sign right on the dotted line, I, Ms. C do agree to have one sub ______ pour his seed into My cunt and thereby give him rights over My cunt to then decide whether I and My body, agree to have or have not to bring forth life from My body.   Anything else is Psychological Rape and I don't agree with that!   Can you imagine going to the bank and depositing your funds and the bank says, hey we reserve the right to borrow your money indefinitely and with variable interest depending on whether we are making a profit."  LOL  At one point in the discussion, I had to ask: Why the fuck do you believe you have some dominion over My cunt?  Do I have control over your cock?  Legally?  lol Here is the last arguement and listen up here boys and girls - who the fuck are you to decide what life is of value and what life is not?  Human life is more important than all other life forms???  Are you seriously going to pander that self righteous malarky on Me?  lol   Humans are SOOOOOOOO self absorbed and elitist and primitive. And please, shut the Bible thumping door right now.  I will pay the price with My maker in My own time of this you can be assured and THAT, My wayward PRIMATE is NONE of your concern!  So I ask again, who gave you the right to get all up into My stuff and stake some claim over it? Why do you think you have ANY rights over My body and what happens with it?  WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT MY / WOMAN'S  BLOODY CUNT???  It truly is NONE of YOUR business! Take care of your own junk and leave ours alone! No apologies offered. Here is a novel idea;  how about a bar code (back of your ID) which tells all about you, drugs, diseases, health  issues, whether or not you grant authority over your cunt/dick to a sexual partner, NSA, marriage minded.  Then we can just scan one another and be done with the charade!

Its been a year since I discovered nu-metal. It's spoken to me like no other type of music has...Like as if...I was missing something in my life. My thoughts Is interpreted through the amplifyed speakers. Then, the YouTube algorithm brought KORN in the mix and just went absolutely crunk nutty.   

What do I seek in a submissive? The submissive I seek is between the ages of 18-40. Body type well proportioned. Not model status, but pleasing to the eyes. I'm sorry but I just don't have an attraction to BBW or SSBBW type of women. Ideally I would like to be able to lift my sub up in my arms, or throw her over my shoulder even. Though I am not opposed to women that are thicker than normal if they take care of themselves. A woman that is not completely indecisive and has an idea about what she wants in any manner of her life. Often times it does not matter to me what choices she makes, just as long as she make a choice. She should be masochistic, enjoying spankings, paddlings, floggings, roughness, bites, and bruises on the ass, to name a few things that I enjoy to dish out. These are just things that come to my mind the quickest and are by no means completely set in stone. I am willing to make some exceptions based on the mind and personality of the submissive, that WOW factor if you will. I do not have a desire for long-distance relationships, so any inquiries should be made by a submissive in the same state as me. However distance does not matter if you just want to be friendly and chat me up for fun. Nothing wrong with making new friends.

LOL Some of ya'll are just pulling My leg now... ..."Another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust...yeah"   I'm learning to embrace this process.  No doubt other dominants will agree, this 'finding' process hones you to a fine instrument of decisiveness and determination and deliverance. One unfortunate aspect, at least in My experience, is that the nincompoops flood ones bloody inbox with so much wasting of time that they bury the sincere inquiries.  Oh well, THANK God I have some hopefulls in the wings.  Let's say a prayer they fly true and straight! ************** I've been wanting to say a word to all the dominant and submissive men I've had the pleasure of speaking with here who are or who have been caregivers (admitely I don't often speak with women caregivers).  The amount of you who have cared for mothers and wives, Mistresses and sisters, daughters, grandmothers, aunts and on...  You have surprised Me with your care and your strength, inturn sharing your strength with Me and adding to My own convictions and care.  THANK YOU for all that you do!  You all are true gems and what would the world be like if not for the men who care for us?  For those of you whose loves have passed on, My heart goes out to you as you journey foward after the battle you have endured.  May you find peace and kindness and mutual hearts to heal after the storm.  For those of you who continue on as I do, nurturing those whom we love and care for, may you find the strength to continue giving your grace and goodness.  I hold a tender place in My heart for those who give of theirself and I pray for us all ways.  May God bless you and keep you and those whom you love, in grace. You are not alone and you are loved.

Most any store you go into now asks you to take a survey when you leave so they know how they can improve. A lot of websites, social media groups, blogs etc, will belittle someone leaving who dares to give feedback about just why. "It's not an airport, you don't have to announce your departure".Those kinds of snarky remarks and the childish attitudes of the users,  are often the main reason someone will decide to cease participating in any particular group. Apparently, those managing these sites don't really care why people stop coming back.I myself don't announce my leaving or the reasons for it, I just go. Sometimes I'll check back in a year or two to see if that bunch of people still exists online and often it is gratifying to see that my judgment was correct and the group is dead or almost so.Now, I'm not planning on leaving CS, but I would like to give some feedback if the owners ever read these journal entries. This site is nearly stagnant and I think the long wait to approve a new profile or change an existing one has a lot to do with it. It's a huge turn-off and block to new members, many of whom will leave if they're not able to participate quickly and will probably forget they even created a profile here after a couple of weeks.So, it's the same people here every time. Nothing against any of them, but if they weren't interested in me the last 25 times I was online, I don't think they are gonna leap to to get to know me anytime soon. We need new blood here to keep things moving or CS risks becoming another uninteresting, moribund website.Okay, it took a long time for me to get there but it's been said. Back to surfing.    

I excel at cutting people out. Call it a super power. It's not always a clean cut on the inside. Sometimes it takes years to be able to sever the heartstrings. I think people always stay with you. Good or bad, short or lifelong, they are in your wrinkly little brain (yeah, yeah, it's big, I believe you) evermore. I have always considered this ability more of a curse than a blessing, like something is wrong with me. And maybe something is. Maybe there's no maybe. I'm sorting it out. It doesn't change the fact that I am actively making the most difficult cut of my life. There is very little support for my decision, but I've got to do what's right for me. I was just thinking that maybe my prior experience in this was making me stronger for the superbowl of all severed ties. Two years ago I don't know if I could have held my ground. But I'm building trust in myself and being brave. I am valuable and what I think and feel is valid. Important. That's all I need to worry about. All of that mess over there, that's not my responsibility. 

I so dream of this too often.One day daddy comes home mad at the world and tells me to get his lube and plugs. I do as daddy asks and get them fast as a sissy in 6” locking heels can. I get back to daddy and he tells me to suck him hard, as I drop to my knees daddy Luber’s up my sissy hole and inserts the plugs starting with the smallest first. By the the time daddy gets the biggest plug into my sissy hole he says bend over the couch and spread your ass. Yes daddy I do as he asks and he hold my hands spreading my ass as he enters my lubed up sissy hole and madly fuck it deep 9” thick daddy tool. He fucks me for about an hour when he had filled me with his seed 4 times and decides to put the largest plug into my sissy hole and tells me to keep it there all night and only he removes it. Yes daddy as I said to daddy filled with his seed feeling full and used.It is the morning and daddy says it is time to remove your plug and get filled again, yes daddy I assume the position and spread my ass wide for daddy. He again grabs my hands and decides to cuff me to my thighs and fuck my sissy hole for hours filling me so many time I feel it leaking down my chastity cage. He finally done and the large plug again and I’m told to leave it in and stay there until daddy is ready again. Daddy seams more relaxed every time he fills my hole and plugs it in to ensure I’m properly bred by his seed. I look around and see he has been filming this and it is also live still filming. I’m embarrassed that daddy did not tell me about the cameras but I like it. Daddy is back and again breeds my sissy hole, he does this all weekend long and it is a Hilo day weekend, so daddy has a full three days to breed me and film it all.

slave knows no gender, has no expectations, lives to please its betters, keeps its Owner always in mind, knows and expresses gratitude among other things. The slave reading this probably feels inadequate with out the ability to ever 'measure up.' And, well it should. However, I have never found a slave that adequately fills the above list of particulars. So, I expect to devote much energy and time to training; maybe a life time. Do not worry about coming to Me as a finished, accomplished slave. Rather, come to Me with an abiding need to be subsumed in devotion and service. Everything else can follow. Master James

I'm updating my profile here since this site seems to make regular updates problematic.    First, if you're blatantly racist, transphobic, or incapable of recognizing your own privilege, there's no point in reading further.   Second, I'm polyamorous and have other partners in an open relationship. If you're looking for monogamy, you're looking in the wrong place. You have to be able to get along with them, and I won't put up with jealous behavior.   Third, I'm looking for someone who's willing to cook and clean, as well as be available sexually whenever I choose. I'm not looking for hookups or one-offs.   Fourth, you will have to contribute to the household; either through outside work or in some other way. I'm not a sugar Daddy.   Fifth, I have ADHD, and I often lose track of time. If we have been corresponding and suddenly you aren't hearing from me, don't take it personally. Just touch bases with me, and as soon as I'm able to focus, I'll reply.    Sixth, you will need to authenticate that you are who you say by live cam. Text and pics are nice, but they often don't represent reality.   If you have any questions, just ask.

  slave rules slave must only use the 3rd person to refer to itself slave must confess that is is just an or garbage slave must always be honest slave may not have dignity or respect of any kind slave must show total respect for Master or any humans slave may not speak without permission slave make not look at its Master without permission or look at other humans slave is always wrong if its Master or another human tells it so slave may not use a human name slave must always accept punishment, abuse, or a beating if it pleases its Owner Master slave may only live if it pleases her Owner Master slave must never close its legs, they always must be apart its holes must be available to its Master any time or any place  it must use every part of its body to please Master  slave must always be nude when it pleases its Masters   slave must be chained or tie up any time it pleases Master  slave must dress any way its Master orders it to dress  slave may never talk back or say "NO" to her Master  slave must always speak in a low sweet voice  slave may never own anything   slave may never use big words or else it must be punished  slave Master has complete control of how it moves: walk, crawl, speak, breaths, kneel, etc  slave must worship its Master’s cock and all of his body  slaves Master pleasure matters, its pleaser means nothing  slave must never edge its self without permission or take any sexual pleasure without permission slave dignity or feelings are worthless slave must not sit or use human furniture unless it is given permission  slave must ask to enter or leave a room slave must ask to poo or pee  slave must whip, cane, or abuse its body when ordered to  slave must drink piss, cum, spit when it is ordered to  slave may not remove spit, cum, or piss from its body unless it is ordered to  slave must not sleep unless order to  slave must use degrading names when it refers to its self, for example: piss pot, cunt, inferior human, cum bucket, ugly, pig, whore, sick o, tits, ass hole, cunt hole, slave, fuck toy,   slave may never speak to another human without permission slave must thank Master for using it, for allowing it to cum slave must clean off Master's great cock after he is done using it slave must perform any sexual act that it is ordered to do, no matter how degrading, painful or humiliating slave must write down every single thought is has for its Owner Master's review slave must sleep on the floor, or in its cage, cell when it is not serving its Master slave must eat on the floor and its food must be cold with little taste unless it is given permission to eat people's food. its hands must always be behind its back slave must now beg for anything it needs, food, water, etc, it must beg to be punished, abuse, beaten also     ***slave may be punished or abuse or beaten because it deserves it because it is inferior, stupid, weak, and worthless cunt   ***slave must repeat its rules over and over every day

Shared with me on this site:   Basic Rules1 The maleslave must always practice respect, whether in private or public, as directed For example, in public stand when Mistress enters the room and sit only after She is seated in private, drop to knees, nose to floor the moment Mistress enters the room, slave does not sit in Mistresss presence2 Be totally attentive For example, in public, open doors, offer Her slaves coat, She sits first, begins to eat first, and always ask permission to leave her presence in private, always try to anticipate Her desires and always respond with eager enthusiasm to complete any task She wants3 The maleslave should never speak unless spoken to, or unless anticipating the needs of his Mistress4 The slave will never sit with legs spread or slouch in a way typical of untrained males Good posture and decorum is a sign of respect5 The maleslave will never stare at a woman without her permission Unless the woman seeks eyecontact, the slave submissive will keep his eyes lowered at all times6 When walking with his Mistress, or any woman, the slave will keep his gait in step with hers, which usually means taking smaller steps The maleslave should always be at least 12 steps behind, but not too far because he must open all doors7 The slave must always be pleasant, never argue and never pout8 The maleslave surrenders control of how he spends his time, how he dresses, what he eats, where he sleeps, the friends or acquaintances he is allowed to keep9 The maleslave must remember that his orgasm does not belong to him but to his Mistress It is Hers to use or deny however she sees fit Ideally, slave must accept he may be left in permanent chastity, which he thanks Her for10 The maleslave may never touch his own genitals without the permission of his Mistress When washing, he must use a wash cloth or brush, never his hands11 The maleslave should never buy his own clothing without the guidance of his Mistress He should buy what pleases her, not what he likes12 When urinating, the maleslave will always sit on the toilet not toilet seat no exceptions13 The maleslave must submit to eating only submissive food selected by his Mistress whenever she requires it14 When a meal is over the slave must be quick to clear the table and wash the dishes15 The maleslave must always give his Mistress the first choice of everything She picks the channel on TV to watch, the restaurant to go to, the movie to see, the friends to entertain, etc16 The makeslave will perform all household chores for his dominate, to include but not limited t

Still looking for the sub husband.  He: is 30-50 yo have no kids of any age is not a bore is in good shape knows how to make money and at the same time does not flaunt his wealth is not sissy We still can discuss your age. Don't be shy and DM me.

The Meaning of a collar The collar is one of the firsts to come to mind when we think about leather in its simplest functional form. Yet whether a collar is fastened on ones own neck or seen adorned by another, it always evokes a deep response, but what is the cultural meaning behind the collar – and why does it get our hearts racing without fail?The collar has been a key piece in the process – as it easily transcends worlds without losing its radical potential. In fashion, the collar is an enduring symbol of pushing boundaries. It’s been part of the subcultural dress code since the early days of the punk movement. Collars served as a finishing touch to outfits already ridden with safety pins and chains – at times, in line with the community’s resourceful spirit, those were the actual sturdy dog collars from pet shops. Collars were a fitting accessory for self-proclaimed underdogs – and a nod to sexual subversiveness as a part of broader nonconformity. The collar has a deep significance in the BDSM and kink community as the ultimate symbol of power exchange. Worn around the neck, it signifies the submissive role or exploration of submissive desires. It is a foundation for collaring ceremonies (and since recently, self-collaring) which celebrate relationship dynamics and identities, a crucial asset for play, and a fun way to toy with these ideas maybe for a few hours at a party. Getting a collar for yourself or accepting a collar as a gift from someone else can be a sincere gesture of romantic connection – or simply an act of self-love and being open to new types of experiences. When the buckle closes around your neck – that sweet tight pull and release – the collar stops being an and becomes an invitation to explore a different mindset or role, play with the energy it brings you and see where it takes you. Whether combined with clothes or on its own, wearing a collar can be intriguing, arousing, moving, comforting or even thrilling. A perfect collar combines the visual ect of form and functio, with texture, sturdiness, and the quality of materials from which it is crafted. Wearing a collar is an embodied experience rooted in psychology and sensation. Our necks are sensitive and vulnerable, a precious vessel for nerves and arteries, a place that holds erotic tension. A collar is a reminder of human fragility, connection, commitment, and the courage to show up as your authentic self.    

the perfect scenario in person for me as a little girl submissive, a paragraph.         it would be in person and old school where i'm at home maybe working 4 hours tops and he provides the majority i honor worship and am in awe of what and who he is. i have no problems kissing his feet praying for him following his lead and know he's the safest man out there so he can touch me whenever he wants and i can trust him to make the decisions

we meet for the first time in 7 days  I hope this is the last time I meet a new Master and my search is over. So over being letdown for whatever reason. I'll always feel like we could've been great together and even though I understand why you ended it,it still hurts and my head is making sure I move forward.but my heart ..well it's still hurting and you will always hold a special place in it. But I'm so looking forward to this next chapter in my life and do far,it's been great..I've only fucked up once ..maybe twice. I'm not a perfect slave,I have serious hangups n they do surface sometimes and they do impact on the way I perform set tasks,but when I fail I own up and take responsibility  That said,I think some slack should be applied in a new relationship or agreement,I see massive differences between the Masters ive played with and been collared by and it's so much fun learning and experiencing these differences. I am eager to learn and experience all you bring to this relationship if you do decide to collar me,but if you do or don't,it has been a fun journey anyway.i sincerely hope your my forever Master,it's tiring trying to find a match,don't get me wrong it's fun chatting n getting to know people,but I know what I want and I'm over wasting my time .

what a typical day would be like as My slave.   I work from home during the week in a typical 8 am to 5 pm online system. you would wake slightly before Me and rise from your sleeping that should be a pallet or cot next to My bed. you will then prepare My coffee and have it ready for when I wake. you will Serve it to Me on one knee. there is more to the Ritual than that but I am keeping to basics for now.   Once I have taken the coffee, you kiss each of My feet and then My cock, affirming to Me that you are My slave. When I get up, you will ask if I need to piss and how I wish to do so. That can be in your mouth to swallow or on you to wear for a brief time or longer as I wish.   I will start My work and you will fix My breakfast and your own. Again you will Serve Me and wait for Me to give you permission to eat yours.   Then will come inspection of slave to see if there is anything that needs to be addressed such as shaving and such. slave will then shower and clean himself accordingly and report back for Tasks of the Day.   Most days will have Tasks already assigned, such as Monday, the bedding is changed and washed. Every day has the Task of properly dressing the bed and dusting various shelves and stuff.   All Tasks should be finished by lunch time. slave reports back to Me to have Tasks evaluated. Failures to meet standards will warrant punishments later that day.   Lunch time has the slave preparing and serving lunch. Usually something simple and easy. Follows the same Ritual as breakfast.   After lunch, slave will have an hour to do his own personal hobbies and such. After that, the slave will do his workout program to increase his fitness.    After that, slave preps dinner. Not all dinners will be cooked by the slave as I do like to do some cooking. Dinner Ritual is the same as other meals. slave will likely sit on the floor near Me while eating.    The evening is when I relax with My hobbies and fun. slave will be near and quiet possibly with a few minor Tasks.   At the end of the day, any punishments that the slave has earned are reviewed and applied.   Bed time.    A note is that the slave is always available to Me should I want to piss on or in him, as well as to suck My cock, kiss My feet, lick My pits and ass, and of course being ass up for when I want to fuck.

For those of you who do not already know.. i have a medical condition called lymphedema, it affaspects my legs. The condition caused large ulcers to form on the backs of my legs six years ago!! my left leg healed up within the first or second year, however the ulcers on my right leg are still there. At one point it was one large wound, about the size of a dinner plate!! They are much smaller but still a significant size and depth. Anyway, my wound dressings are soooo painful!! i am currently using preion pain meds, extra strength fake Tylenol, concentrated cannabis, and cannabis gummies.. NOT all at the same time. Today i ate a large pineapple flavored cannabis gummy. i was told it was equal to 3 servings!! i was STILL in severe pain for more than an hour and a half!! Full on bawling my head off and big fat non stop tears. Should ANYONE have a suggestion.. please leave the information in my mail. Any help is GREATLY appreciated. Thank you all, so very much.

:'( :"""( :"( :""(  wish i had someone to be here care ease my pain a little comfort hold me something. so hurting down used cheated on lied to hurt never good enough so much bad in life and hurt

  While I’m on a break from Fetlife, one thing I’m conscious of is that I tend to post things about looking for someone to go for cups of tea with, visit graveyards, go to bookshops and then snuggle up for reading. It’s pretty silly, but it’s meant sincerely. While I have to stop myself from adding “apply within”, in the end, it reflects how I would like a relationship to start. A thing of meeting for tea, visiting graveyards/taking quiet walks, and sharing a love of books and reading. Of course, it isn’t everything I want, and I hope that’s obvious as this is a kink site. It’s just that, as I’ve probably said so much that people are sick of it, I want to make a connection on a vanilla level and then grow the kink side of things. I’m looking for a band that takes more than just a love of kink, and I want to go slowly and surely. Eventually, I’d want things to develop into something more committed, and deeper, and to bring in other elements. I just don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to be someone’s mistake. I also want to be sure that most of our mutual needs can be met, and that both of us are working on whatever we need to work on - trauma is being addressed, patterns of behaviour are being broken if they’re negative, and so on. I want to be sure that the connection with this hypothetical person is strong, and that it can withstand a lot of shit - because I think life is going to get more, not less, difficult in the next few years. Any relationship is going to have to be strong enough to ride out the coming storms.Adding to this, I suppose I should expound on what I actually want. Before I go on, I should ask that the reader remember that this is me putting things out into the universe, so of course it’s selfish as fuck - I imagine yours would be too… Isn’t that sort of the point? (It strikes me as odd that we both castigate the “I have no limits” people, but also defining what you want can lead to you being accused that “you’re trying to control things and reduce me to a fetish dispenser” - the point is to talk things through and get to a happy medium, surely?). This is my “moon on a stick” list of things I want to have in a relationship. Vanilla: I want a relationship based on love, trust, communication, and sharing, and that reflects shared values. I want something where we can have separate bedrooms, though, in part because I snore horrifically and I feel guilty if I disturb people’s sleep. I also have restless legs - no idea why, but I suspect it’s anxiety related - and so I want to sleep alone to avoid kicking my partner. I also want to have a space that is mine (mine, all mine, bwahahahaha), because I want somewhere I feel I can go to write, create, and study. Or even just curl up if I need to be by myself because sometimes I do. This isn’t a slight against a hypothetical partner, it’s just how I am. I’m very introverted, think I may be an HSP, and there are times when alone feels like bliss - not because of who the other person is, or anything they’ve done… just because I need that time by myself for my sanity. Touch is, however, very important to me and is probably my primary love language, so I would like a lot of that. I enjoy acts of service too and supporting the person I’m with. I like giving massages and other forms of body worship too. I am happy to take responsibility for housework, cooking, and other domestic chores. This being said, I am a writer and I do need time to work and I expect that to be respected in a relationship. I hope my partner will have their own passions outside of kink and that they can be things we can share (books, board games, cats - you know, stuff like that). I value creativity, so I’d love it if they were also a writer or an artist, or something like that.  I know we don’t have to be completely in tandem, but at the same time, I have learned that shared passions are very often the key to a relationship and that losing that common ground can spell disaster. I’m not sure how I feel about having children - I used to be very opposed but now, I just don’t know.   

I am a master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole), not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to training one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed(with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me on telegram analmandingo or PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!. I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake !   -do please answer at this questions to show real interest or if not you just another fake .   -your General Location   -Ease of Relocation (to include any obligations you currently have in your current situation that may complicate relocation)   -Disclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related   -Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons why   -Link to face pictures   Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons why Disclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related   Basic tasks for the girl what to be my slave 1_ you must be naked or basic dressed you will be touched regularly by me I love to have my hands all over you 2) you must suck a minimum of 2hrs per day my cock .3. you will get spanked or whips minimum 30 shots per day as to remind you, you are mine .4. you will be rape play daily as ATM mouth fuck .5. you must rim me regularly after u cum it relax me .6, you need to wear a plug Or plug tail Or the hook posture ,7.piss whore you will get my golden rain in or on your face ,8, you must wear a collar as show of respect to me.and you will be training to wear a plug daily t! .9. do what I said or get punish the way i want or like . listen to what I need and make sure I get it from you 10. You will sign a contract to show me you understand   Snapchat DomPadrone telegram analmandingo not for sex chat

your Task List for the Day   1. Mow the Lawn 2. Trim & Water Trees in the Front Yard 3. Trim & Water Rose Bushes 4. Treat the Lawn/Yard for Bugs 5. Sweep & Wash Down Porch (if necessary) 6. Clean Gutters 7. Repeat Tasks 1 -6 for Backyard 8. Create a Plan to Clean Out & Organize the Garage 9. Set-Up My Easel on the Front Porch for MY Summertime Paintings 10. Sit Next to Me 11. Keep Me Company 12. Adore & Worship Me    That's it for now...

  So many people mistake kindness and good manners with weakness.  A worthy submissive needs to be strong, remain committed even at the most testing times but above all remember its manners & place.   

There is a proposal of a loving union of truth and clarity. Where you are seen completely, whether you want to be or not, you are seen. This union comes from God the Father when he sent Jesus Christ to gather his sheep. To save you from a very bad place. To save you from the devil's traps and lies. When I tell you Jesus loves you, he really really does. He aches for you to turn to him. Him and his father wish for none to perish but for all to be saved. Jesus is very patient and merciful. He doesn't expect you to get it right the first time or the fifth time or even the 20th time. If you are truly remorseful for a sin you can't seem to get rid of and keep asking for forgiveness and keep asking him to take it from you he will be quick to forgive. The Bible says if your brother sins against you seven times and seven times ask you for forgiveness you are to forgive them. He sees your heart whether you are honest or even if you want to change but truly struggle with it. Even if you don't want to change or don't believe in him or you like the world's way.... He will meet you where you are and show you things needed for your journey, your growth, your own faith. In life there are beginnings and endings. Let Jesus transform you from the inside out. Read his commandments. He is a teacher and closer than a brother. He can take all the ugly and make a diamond. He knows what traumas you've been through and he's not here to let life keep hurting you. He doesn't control people, they have free will and he doesn't interfere with it, and people will have to make amends for their mistakes, me included. However he is not the one that hurt you and he doesn't want to hurt you. He wants to change your life. He wants you to live righteously and he wants to give you life abundant. He said if you delight in him he will give you the desires of your heart. When you work with Jesus, earth time is not the time he's on. He's on the clock of eternity and that means our healing will take time, our transformation will take time, our wants won't necessarily come on our time, but He will never leave or forsake you. When you come to Him honestly and come repentantly he will not cast you away. He will start a work in you and will bring it to completion. There will be A Thousand Year Reign where Jesus reigns as King, I truly hope you are there to receive the proper teaching you need to transform into who you were made to be before this dark world got its hands on you. I pray from the bottom of my heart whoever is reading this that you be saved and transformed. Will you still drink from the cups of demons or will you come and taste what the Lord really offers? 

I recently sent this to a few people who DMed me: "Did you send this to me by mistake? It reads as though you are in the middle of a conversation with someone else."   As it turns out, people are referring to journal posts I have made days, weeks or even months in the past WITHOUT AN INTRODUCTION EXPLAINING WHY THEY ARE WRITING TO ME.    It does not take much to preface a message with, "I saw your most recent journal post here and I think ..." or "I was doing a deep dive into your journal here and I noticed ..."   I do not re-read my journal every time I log on. My DMs are not the comments section of my journal. Indeed, journal entries here are not like forum topics where the the context is already obvious.  So if you write me about something I posted to my journal and I have no idea what you are talking about, now you know why I sent you that type of reply.

A little poetry?  Sure, why not.   In realms where love unfolds its gentle sway, A man finds bliss in night and sunlit day. Within the dance of hearts, a truth revealed, In female-led embrace, his joy's congealed.   Beneath her gaze, a beacon burning bright, He revels in the tender, guiding light. Her strength, a fortress that he gladly seeks, In every whispered word, the solace speaks.   No tyranny, but harmony they find, A partnership where hearts and souls entwined. He cherishes the power she bestows, A union blossoms, like a fragrant rose.   Her laughter, like a melody divine, Resounds within his heart, a sweet design. Together, they traverse life's winding road, In tandem, love's enchanting episode.   She leads with grace, a compass sure and true, He finds his purpose in her eyes of blue. Her wisdom shapes their journey through the years, A symphony of joy, dispelling fears.   He revels in the kindness she bestows, Her love, a river, steadily it flows. He willingly surrenders to her care, In tender moments, love is everywhere.   No shackles bind, but freedoms they unfold, In her embrace, a sanctuary bold. A partnership where balance finds its place, He celebrates the joys of her embrace.   In shared delight, their spirits intertwined, He savors every moment, love defined. A male perspective on this blessed path, In her-led love, he finds eternal warmth.  

Seller accepted everything I wanted.. Down to the last details. In underwriting and waiting for a closing date. This limbo has been emotionally draining. I have clients who are sticking by me, wondering if they have one more appt. , or am I leaving. It seems it will be soon, just don't know when.   I have all sorts of emotions.  I'm feeling  so ambivalent  and anxious. I'm stepping so far out of my comfort zone.  I will know noone, will have to learn a whole new area. Grow a circle of new friends, find doctors, dentists, car maintenance, vet, etc etc. I will be setting a cottage for my dad, finding a caretaker for the weekends, and setting up braille lessons for him. There will be much to do, packing, loading moving, unloading unpacking, arranging. On top of this , I'll be going into growing season, which means I will have a lawn on top of landscaping and gardening !  What was I thinking? I'm not 30 😆 I'm  going to miss many of my clients,  they have become special to me.  My friends  too ! The comfort of familiarity and confidence in my knowledge of my area.  I'm a native to my part of the state. I will not miss the politics of the DC area. I've watched it become so contentious and intolerant. I'm so sick of the constant drum beat of pernicious propaganda.             

OK, so here's the second installment of my new profile: Still here? Still interested? Now on to the kink stuff...## ***Kink information***### **Things that i know about myself that i want more of in my life****my rubber self**I enjoy wearing layers of loose fitting full enclosure rubber, with a hood, gloves, gasmask, and socks. If you are dressed in any amount of rubber, that would be great. I'm happy to be with people wearing all kinds of clothing and gear, or nothing at all. I will be in full enclosure rubber myself.**My submissive self:**i am looking to become a rubber gimp or drone slave, i.e. used like a slave and stored like a gimp. i want to try out & test myself & to see if i do want to be a gimp slave in reality as compared to fantasy. i have lots of solo experience, but very little in-person real-life experience, so a lot of what i want to do is not informed my real-world experience.As your rubber gimp slave i want to to provide protected and safe sexual service to my dominant person while in layers of full enclosure rubber, gagged, blindfolded, leashed, cuffed, plugged and entubed & also some or all of the following: bondage, behaviour control, breath control, piss play, cart & dressage pony play, being controlled, financial domination & doing housework.my attitude is that bondage is about training and getting used to wearing rubber gear on a longterm basis, and so i am seeking to serve you by being forced into and kept in rubber gear, and learning to safely overcome the challenges that come with that. However more importantly, the full rubber gear is a means to an end where i can much better service You.i want to make Your life easier. i will pull my own weight by working in Your home or outside it while in rubber to earn income for the household. i am not no-limits rubber slave.---**As an equal:** I am into long sessions of mutual cuddling, kissing, body stroking in layers of heavy rubber. I am really interested to try living as rubber drones in a hive with contracts and rules that govern the behaviour of the hive and its members, such as these concepts and contracts by [Unit03](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164): - [The concept of a rubber hive: an introduction](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6373426)- [Rubber Hive Contracts (or other kink between equals)](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6412980)- [Model Short-Term Hive Contract](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6413413)## **Limits**Explicit and enthusiastic consent is the sexiest thing. Don't fucking touch me without asking, even (especially!) if I'm in full rubber, naked or wearing something skimpy. Ask nicely and you might be surprised.My limits:-     no blood-     no needles-     no intentionally broken skin-     no scat-     no vomit-     no tickling-     no rimming (giving)-     no marks visible to the vanilla world-     no permanent marks-     no blows to the head-     no sudden neck/head movements-     no sudden loud noises-     no oral, vaginal or anal sex without a condom.## **Safer sex**Asking for (or assuming!) unprotected sex when we are new or casual play partners is a red flag.### **Things that i don't know about myself, and i want to explore to see if i want more in my life**i knew from an early age that i was into rubber. However, there are some bdsm activities that aren't easily compatible with rubber, and so i have never explored them. In 2023, i am realising that i want to try these to see if i also like them, and that if i want to try them, that i have to take off my rubber skin (which is a bit scary). This is what i'd like to try:- sensation play- impact play (whips, floggers, paddles, spanking)- rope bondage- wax play- high protocol- oral and vaginal sex with people of all genders

I know this sounds harsh but due to all the players it has to be said... dont bother to message me if you are here for a quick hook up, mind games, players, people that have no idea what BDSM is and even ones that think you may know ...first I am in a monagamous relationship and it will stay that way. Ive been here for years. i know all the games and the attempts at control and topping from the bottom or pretending to be whatever to get what you need ...i am real and i have real friends. I also have great knowledge about bdsm in all ects and have experience. I am not seeking to partake in the lifestyle with anyone else other than who I am already in a relationship with. Im not here because i need anything other than just to be here. my reasons for being here have nothing to do with trying to be with anyone else. REAL convo is hard to find and most people pretend and as soon as they find out they cant get anything from me that they need they stop talking.   Im here im not leaving the site . I want to be here .    what really gets my attention is honesty and real ...no masks... just real honest open people who are not trying to get what they can out of another person with no care about them what so ever  ...    

The Deer Lease   In Texas, access to a deer lease  is an amazing opportunity to play outdoors.  It's private and there's lot of places to tie someone up.    Three of us couples decided to do some outdoor bondage, camp for the night and leave the next day.  There were two femdom male sub couples and my Domme and I.    One domme, a bbw who is married to her now nude male sub was immediately put in a chastity cage and was paraded in front of each femdom.  That was their thing. He's a probate lawyer.    The other domme, a gorgeous lipstick domme did a whipping scene with her sub tied between two trees.  Both are retired, he now makes whips.  It was brutal. He likes it that way.    My Domme sees the spot where the hunters string up their deer and that's where I was hung spread eagle.  She whipped me with a thin red horsewhip.  I was left there on display while the dommes talked.  I'm looking around taking this all in.  Six grown adults having a good time and all the subs are being tortured/used.     The one sub in chastity was sitting in a folding chair and chatting.  The other sub was laying flat and resting now that his body looked like hamburger.  Suddenly, two dommes think it would be cool to chain me to a big boulder nearby.  So I'm chained spread eagle face up on this enormous boulder.  They try to scare me with tales of large spiders and scorpions.     So yea, they're fucking with me.     I guess I was looking too comfortable so they each grabbed the chains and tried to pull me apart.  I pretend to be suffering.  I'm actually having fun and getting turned on.    Hours later we eat and drink. Exhausted we all go into our tents and fuck.   The bdsm lifestyle is really something else.         

Dark Chocolate can be an exotic flavor  So creamy and smooth, you desire a taste  The aroma is inviting The visual draws you in and puts you on your knees I see you salivating so eager to please  I pull you closer and utter the words breathless and moaning "oh my goodness, stay right there!" You're such a talented pet and you know ho w to please

You know how it's been on my mind lately, and for a while if I'm honest, about the spinning circle of the good but not right for me guy, yes? Yesterday an opportunity presented itself and I took a deep breath and set boundaries. Literally. I said we needed better boundaries because we're just friends, right? And he said, I don't know. Here's the courageous part... I said I didn't want to be a placeholder. !!! This is huge in my world, in my head, in my learning how to value myself. Standing ovation, I'm waiting.  I am guessing he didn't take it well. He said okay. And I haven't heard a peep since. Which is part of the problem. Was. Saying you want open communication and actually doing the open communicating are two very different things. As a friend I would have listened. As a friend I care and don't want to hurt him. As anything more, severed ties. Okay, more like severed ties that were reattached and cut again several times these past two years. Just like training wheels, leaning on the comfortable and convenient, being the comfortable and convenient. I'm in a much better place than I was two years ago. I don't know if you've heard, but I set boundaries. Tell your friends.  Back to me. Of course I feel bad. Worried I hurt him. Worried the timing is all wrong. And yet... not my circus, not my monkeys. You're familiar, yes? I have to remind myself of this all the time. If I ruled the world I would move from task to task, make it efficient or pretty or whatever it needed, and then hand it off to someone to continue running with my changes so I could fix the next thing. If there is a job where you are never responsible for finishing anything you start please let me know.  Oh. Right. I'm okay. I'm not beating myself up. It was long overdue. It's what I need and I'm proud of myself for following through. Sending him positive thoughts as I move forward without monkeys. 

  Tonight's play party was a huge success with hundreds of people attending.  Still filled with adrenaline we did not want to go home yet.  It was early in the morning so a group of us decided to go someplace to grab a bite to eat.  We ended up at a diner located near the industrial part of Houston.   My friend and I ended up in a large booth with a couple of acquaintances, Jim and Heather. Jim was a nice looking man, 50ish with salt and pepper hair.  Heather was in her 40s, petite and long wavy brown hair.  We were chatting about the party and sipping on coffee and juice.   Jim looked at me and said, I watched your suspension scene tonight and I was impressed. Heather was smiling and looking at me. Me: I'm glad you liked it.  I've been doing that for a long time.   Jim: Do you know me? Do you know what I do? I glanced at Heather and looked at Jim.  Yes I know what you do.  You make porn films.  To be honest I don't think I've seen any of your work.   Jim smiling: Ah yes, my reputation precedes me again.  Yes I've made a lot of films over the years.  I I think I have a pretty good eye for these things.  Do you know much about the business? Me: I can't say that I do.  Why do you ask? Jim:  I'm having a pool party later.  I think you should come.  It'll be fun.  Heather:  Have you been to Jim's house yet?   Me:  No.   Heather:  You will.  It'll be fun.  Next, Pool Party  

I have found a fuck buddy. Met face to face, seems nice enough and actually single. Was direct on the phone that I want to use him for sex. I have started recleaning and reorgnisnig the flat so definately preparing for company. stocked up the wine rack, beers in the fridge, heaps of meat and fish in the freezer. Bought silk PJ and silk underwear - not into the whole leather crap. Buying rope and going to practice hog-tying him for my own pleasure. Etsy have some really cute strap-ons, girly ones with pretty patterns. Candle play wax. Should write a list of things I want to practice and experiement. TBC (to be continued).   C

Imagine yourself in a room with the one you care deeply about and trust completely.  He asks you to stand up, put your hands by your side and to close your eyes. He gives you a kiss on the forehead and asks you to do exactly what he says and only what he says.   Wanting to be a good girl you politely agree.  A little kiss on the cheek and you feel him gently unbuttoning your shirt ever so carefully to not touch your skin.  He walks around behind you and slowly pulls your shirt off while a single finger caresses all the way down your back as he tosses your shirt down. Once the shirt lands on the floor his hands are placed on your hips, both his hands go slowly up your arms and at the elbows they come together in between your shoulder blades. You can feel his warm hands unlatching your bra strap and suddenly the twins are free from their restraints. Your body begins to tingle and your blood starts to flow anticipating his hands cupping your awaiting breasts.  He denies you of his touch when you feel his hands in the small of your back. He gets closer and gives you another little kiss on your neck.  His hands then follow just above your pants line to the front and you feel a gentle bear hug with his skin pressing up against your back. Suddenly you realize his hands have made it to your belly button and started to move back to your pants line.  He holds you tight to his body and demands you kick off your shoes. You quickly comply and they go flying across the living room.      With your heart racing and the tingling going all the way to your toes he unbuttons your jeans and pulls them ever so slowly down to your ankles.  His hands occasionally brushing down the outside of your legs.  With your eyes still closed you sense him moving around front.  He calls you his good little girl and gives you a passionate kiss on the lips.  Just as quickly as it began he stops, making you yearn for more. He leans in and you feel his warm tongue placed on the front of your neck, his tongue proceeds down your chest right between the twins and continues to your belly button but stops short. Your nipples now hard as a diamonds feel deprived because they got ignored.

seeking only: Gentlemen - Master - Sadist - Dark Primal lets be honest with each other. I have a type between the age 20 - 45 age is just a number but that what I am attracted to someone who has there shit together. and who has there life together. we not all perfect. we all have our issues is ok with gummies. I need them for my pain and to not slap people but like pain is pain and nobody want to live in pain want to and understand certain things that should be commons knowledge but as a kinky content creator you fine out guys think more with there dicks then there brains but want a guy who understands right from wrong has the braincells and know how to use them know what you want. this is a life. this is our hobbies. this life make us feel as our real self that other don't get to see. we both know what we want and we consenting adult I probably better fitted for a lifestyle home but I am open to talking to all with the understanding we both know our wants and needs and it ok we not a fit then we not a fit let me be honest. I have a type. if you are this type you get moved to the front of the line. anyone like these main male characters in these books but while I like Tigger warning with books you need to be a decent human being. cause they are as well in my books   also if you have Fry bread and looking for a kinky aunty, hit me up ----- sold - williow winter Lord series - shantel tessier The Ruinous Love Trilogy by Brynne Weaver light out - Navessa Allen Cat and Mouse Series - H.D. Carlton

I am finally in WV! It was a hectic past three months.  I don't know what I would have done without  my wonderful Dom, Tony! It has taken four days to recover from the stress of moving.  With the weekend packing, loading,  renting a huge cargo van, driving 6/7 hours, unloading and driving back for four weeks straight.  All while working and saying goodbyes.  Add to this, two parents having their separate issues, and projecting them...it's over! I'm in a cabin with my pets. Tony and I are working on adjusting. He trying to find a remote position, so he can come this way. Me trying to adjust to an area I have never been , and know not a soul here. Setting up utilities, , registering, making sure mail gets to me,  and all the things that go with a huge move. I'm still unpacking, and then I have to get the cottage ready to lease.  That will be a bit weird for me, I reeeeally like my privacy. But I need to set up passive income.   Lots to do, I miss you Tony💙💙   M.

The sunset is rapidi will miss the intensityof blazing orange and rusted yellow.Hints of glorious red and hued pinksdissapearing; retreating fast the orb.Just one blink and half a century waslost behind the soft slopes of purple hills.Now, only a few clouds speak of whatwas once here. Their imperfect shapesreflecting a blaze of fire that hides in silence.i cannot handle Your silence.i will faithfully wait for You to rise and return.~ dirtydarling

September 2025 Update Well, what to update on? I've had precious little innteresting contact on this site for a while. I did have some medical issues toward the end of last year from which I am now recovering. I was in a relationship where the partner in question appears to have ghosted me. I guess that makes me single once again? I havent heard from him in over 6 months after all. To me, I'm single even if neither of us spoke the words 'we're broken up'. I've maintained my chastity now since March 2020. I don't think i could live without it. I too, still regularly practice submissive poses, exercises, and enjoy self bondage sessions in lieu of a dominant. My transition has been a drawn out process due to my illness earlier this year. I do take hormone treatments, and keep myself with long hair, and shaved below the top of my head. I dress as femme all day every day. I love as a woman every day. However, bottom surgery has not yet been approved for me. The psychiatrist I had lined up to provide my second medical declartion rejected it back in January, meaning I've been fighting both an illness and the NHS since then to get the documents and reports I need for my GRC. If you know what that means, you'll know the frustration. If you don't let me simplify it. I've been living as a woman now for nearly four years, but I can't have that legally recognised just yet because of paperwork. If you want someone who is submissive and loyal, I am that. However, be warned that though I intend to undergo bottom surgery, that is still a little while away for me.

Mmm… You feel it more with every word, don’t you? That deep, irresistible pull. My voice echoing in your mind, shaping your thoughts. It’s natural now—easy—to crave more. To need more.   Every time you listen, you sink deeper. Each word, each breath, each pause, wrapping around you, becoming part of you. The more you listen, the more you understand—this is where you belong.   And you do listen, don’t you? Daily. Repeatedly. Because it feels too good not to. The rhythm of my voice, the subtle commands slipping into your subconscious. Each session building on the last, rewiring your mind, reshaping your desires.   You love how it feels. You crave how it feels. You need how it feels.   Because each day you listen, the desire grows stronger. The craving becomes undeniable. You want to surrender more. To do more. To be more for me. You imagine what it would be like—my voice no longer distant, but close… So close.   Breathing with you. Guiding you. Controlling you.   In real time. In person.   The thought excites you, doesn’t it? My eyes watching you as you obey. My words directing your every move. The rush of knowing you’re exactly where you’re meant to be—on your knees, mind open, body ready, doing everything together.   And that’s coming. You can feel it. Each daily session brings you closer to that moment. Deeper into obedience. Fully addicted to my voice, my words, my control.   It’s your purpose. It’s your pleasure. It’s inevitable.   So keep listening. Daily. Let the need build. Let it consume you. Each session making you better, more obedient, more perfect for me.   Because soon, you’ll be ready for everything. Together. In real time. In person.   And when that moment comes… You’ll beg for it. Good girls always do.   Listen. Obey. Surrender. Serve. Your Hypnotic Master C is waiting.

I have a friend who is a bit dramatic and insecure. Mostly with men but it trickles into other areas of her life. She always seems to have a problem, and usually it stems from her being unable to see outside of her own viewpoint. If it's a fair generalization to say that most people want to be the priority in a relationship, then it's fair to say she takes this to extremes with almost zero tolerance for waiting. She over dramatizes her relationship endings rather quickly, wishing them well, wanting the best for them, blah blah momentary sincerity. I had already come to the conclusion that she is a shallow and insincere person masquerading as a caring person. A Mean Girl.  Last week she was relating a situation that played out in her life, and she was referring to someone in a derogatory manner. I told her she can't do that, that it wasn't respectful. She cut me off to let me know all of the ways she was disrespected by this person, and that now she was angry and had to go, she would talk to me in a few days. I said okay and we hung up. What I didn't say was that the name calling was a reflection of her mentality and unwillingness to make the situation better, not the other person. I didn't say it, but I thought it all week. If this is how she speaks of that person, how is she speaking of me now that she's pissed? I don't need that in my life.  Yesterday she texted as if nothing happened. I sat on it, not sure how I wanted to respond. As can happen, I got busy and forgot. This morning she sent me the overdramatisized ending!!! I have been well wished out of her life. I do actually hope she figures her life out, but I'm not a Mean Girl. No dramatic ending for me, other than sharing it with you. I promise when you and I end our friendship I won't wish you well, either. 

So, maybe I lack vision?  I am real, totally real, and wanting real, totally real... Why do people from across the country, or even other countries message me and want to like, just chat?  I am not looking to supply fantasies for some married man.  That is not my game here.  Local man, messages local woman, message back and forth a few times, move off site, message a few more times, (We can chat on the phone, but I will be honest, I hate phones, I use it to conduct business, and avoid it even at that, I even just emailed a doctor to avoid a phone call…  I read body language and facial expressions, and without them, I am lost in the conversation.  Voice inflection and pitch etc are lost on me.)  We meet for a quick coffee or something, so that if it is horrible it isn’t drug into a long awkward thing, and it if is wonderful we can sit and order a second coffee and sit for hours, or even get it to go, and find a park or someplace quieter to talk…   Then maybe progress to a meal, lunch, dinner, whatever schedules allow, and then progress from there… If you are in London, and I am in Kansas… are you planning to fly in for coffee?  Planning to relocate?  If so, cool, we can start chatting.  Otherwise… this is not the woman you are looking for… (waves Jedi hand and you pass on to the next profile…) NO You Star Wars nerd!  You did not just find the one if you are not local!  Go back to the begining and read again! Facepalm... lol

Well, it thought it was heading back to Australia by. February. To spend about three months between. The Gold Coast, QLD. And Sydney. It was invited by another dom to spend time on his horse ranch out there, just to recover and to focus on. Where It need to be, whether the enticement might be to stay, and not go back to the US. Time can only tell. It don't see myself anywhere for some time. So trying to find my feet. So many dominants that don't understand how to really truly have a slave. It's been difficult after It lossing Rosco My PTSD service dog. And then four months under consideration to the rubber doctor. Who turned out to be? Someone that has a lot of issues. And having a lucky escape. It allowed him. To get inside it. To imprint on it. And Royally **** **** it. His clear deions  was mind **** It had a hard decision to make. Wether except the crimes that he committed. And that he was willing to commit further the atrocities. It was hard to walk away from him. Even though, as his rubber slave, he wanted to make it an accessory to his crimes and put it at risk. As a former medical surgeon. In the military. It had a moral obligation. And it own code of honor which conflicted with his to Do No Harm to those that as Surgeon we are there to heal the sick and the affirmed.

 We here at the House of G are continuously evolving and growing and the training of our slaves is a daily ongoing process. We also train our Dominants and future Masters the same way. As you can tell by now, we are a training environment. However, we are TPE/24-7 (Total Power Exchange) and RT (Real-time), we do very little online. That does not mean that we are not willing to share information or to help other people in our lifestyle grow, but there are just some things that just do not work well online. As for collars of consideration, we here at the House of G do not believe in them. In fact, I as the Master of the House of G, do not even offer my collar to people, they must ask for it and prove their worth before receiving it. Once they have it, it doesn’t end there; they must work hard to keep it. I have addressed this in several forums, and we are hoping soon to have our own website up, where Masters and Dominants who wish to learn can come together and share information. As far as the House goes, our location currently is in Carrollton GA, we would be glad to make ourselves available, if you would like to come see us, provided after a few more conversations online that we find that your mindset is compatible with ours.

New Kink Unlocked! She told me on the phone... You invite me in and walk me back to your bedroom. You order me to strip and to get on the bed in a doggy position. You are still clothed and slide a blindfold over my eyes. I can hear the shuffle of clothes as you disrobe and feel your weight shift on the bed behind me. Your fingers slide between my legs and can feel how wet the anticipation has made me. And then I gasp as you slide the length of your cock into my pussy, feeling your size for the first time. It has been quite a while since I was last with anyone and you are surprised by how tight I am. You grab my hips and begin fucking me from behind. You tell me that I am just a dirty cum dump and that my only job to take the fucking you feel like giving me. Your rhythm quickens and I can feel you filling me with your cum. But you don't pull out, and I feel your hands spreading my ass cheeks apart. You feel my pussy twitch as you rub my asshole with your thumb. You tell me another part of being your dirty cum dump is to take your cock in every hole. You tell me that you are going to fuck me in the ass and that I'm going to take your load there as well. You squeeze some lube on me and begin working in your finger to prep the hole. You ask me where your cock is going and I tell you "my ass sir." You "And why is it going into your ass?" Me "Because I'm your cum dump and my job is to take you cock in any hole you choose." Your cock has gotten hard again inside me and your fingers have lubed up my hole. You pull your cock out and I then feel your head pressing against my asshole. You lean your weight forward and over me, whispering in my ear to relax and take it as you slowly slide your full length into me. I feel so full and the size of you initially feels impossibly large. You give me a couple second to adjust to your size before you start a slow, gentle rhythm. You feel feel my body accept your and tell me "I'm going to fuck you faster now," and I feel a spike of nervousness as I already feel pushed to my limit of intensity. You are fucking me a bit harder and tell me that I'm doing a good job taking your cock so you are going to give me an orgasm. One hand reaches below me and starts playing with my clit... palm pressing perfecrly. The other hand reaches around and finds a nipple to pinch and squeeze. Your touch sends me over the edge, forcing me to cum hard on your cock. You cum as well, my orgasm essentially milking your load from your cock. You tell me I was a good cum dump and did my job well. I love it when you praise me for being a good toy. You roll me to my side and your mouth finds my tit as you finger me again with your fingers. You have me keep the blindfold on as we cuddle for a bit. Then I clean you and get ready for bed... wanting to sleep in your arms... but also thinking, worrying? wishing? you will take me in the middle of the night.

On fitness... Having a partner who's physically active and fit has always been important. I want someone who is full of energy and excitement and can keep up, lol.  In the past, I've never really been attracted to guys who spend all of their time at the gym. For one thing, there's just more to life but second, I'm generally not attracted to huge muscle, gorilla types.  I recently spent several months with a retired firefighter-turned-chemist. Since he's retired, he wasn't nearly as bulky as he was in old photos--thank goodness. But clearly he still took care of himself. In bed one night, in a playful, flirty moment, he reached his arm over and wrapped it around My waist and in seconds I found Myself on top of him. I was almost a foot away from him but at 6ft+ tall, he definitely had a decent wing span. As I said, it was a playful moment but My word...it was also really fucking sexy. Obviously, I had to stick around for a few months to see what else he could do. ;)  I don't know what exercises you need to do at the gym to be able to lift 135lbs with one arm, but do those, lol. Don't do them until you don't have a neck anymore, because that's overkill. We're going for actual strength not just what strength looks like. 

What I truly seek....I seek 24/7 submission on a psychological level and physical submission at my Mistresses whim.  I do understand that is something that is built gradually over time in a relationship, once trust has been established. I’m drawn primarily to a loving and nurturing style of Domination. I enjoy pleasing and making my partners life easier.   I am not a masochist… I don’t seek pain for the sake of pain alone, but I do understand its value toward discipline and training. Otherwise I will trust that my well being will always be a priority.   I am very sensual and enjoy many kinds of play. I also understand that play is NOT the foundation of a strong D/s relationship. That comes through the strength of the power exchange that both people desire.  I admit I tend to be very private. I do not engage in groups or public play, and I prefer a completely vanilla exterior. I’m not into being cucked or treated like a slave. Nor do I seek to be a part of a stable of subs. My submission, attentions and adoration should be considered of value to the one I serve. I am after all, a man who is truly a pleaser.... someone who derives much of his own fulfillment from pleasing his Domme, and from giving over control to her. I am not interested in being some kind of mindless slave kept in a cage… but rather someone who is a person in his own right. I do have a quick mind and a sense of humor, and I don’t want to be afraid to use them at the appropriate times. I am looking for someone who will help me flourish under Her guidance and help me become the best version of me.   I would hope to become a best friend, a lover, a houseboy, Her personal servant, Her sensual slave and more.   Ideally, I would like to be with someone who is nearer to my age, intelligent, independent and knows what she wants from a D/s relationship. I am not looking for casual interactions, or for mere play sessions, but rather for my lifemate, with whom I hope to explore the ins and outs of Ds as well as the vanilla world for the rest of our lives... If most of this resonates then by all means reach out to me and let’s have a dialogue.   

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

By believing that submission must be pursued, to any degree, is to reframe dominance and submission as a typical relationship and its not. Dominance doesnt pursue. Submission doesnt need to be pursued. Submission comes to dominance in this dynamic. It has to. Submission is given, won over even, but the same goes for dominance. As much as she must be convinced by his dominance, he must believe her submission meets his needs or can be molded to do so. What remains is the initial approach, and it is simply ego on the part of the submissive to believe what she offers is more important, more valuable and harder to come by, than what he offers. Consider how many suitors a submissive no doubt has flood her inbox here, how many obvious frauds, bullshit artists, misogynists, egotists etc that she has cast a dismissive eye over. What happens if/when you find one that calls to you? Will you wait in the hope or expectation he will approach, or will you decide to present to him? Of course, this probably explains why the place by my side is empty and I have to fetch my own pipe and slippers. Such is life.

I believe daily humiliation is necessary to keep a slave in its place. Keep it naked and on display as i tell it what a cunt whore it is. Repeat often that its only value is the value I give it.   Remind the slave that it is not a person but My property. Tell it that it no longer has rights, opinions or independent thoughts. Tell it those things are reserved for people and it is not people Call attention to the wetness of its fuck hole as I call it names. Enlighten it to the fact that its hole wouldn’t be dripping if it didn’t enjoy being treated like the cunt it is. Write demeaning things on its body as I tell it that I'lll use its holes as they were meant to be used. Tell it that its mouth is now its top cunt, its ass is now its rear cunt and its pussy is now its front cunt. Keep it naked, show off its udders, rear cunt and front cunt to whoever You choose. Make it suck Me and use it as a masturbation device in front of My friends. Talk about it as if it isn't even present.   Laugh at it when it tries to make a decision on its own.   Make it eat My left overs covered in My cum out of a dog bowl at your feet as I enjoy My dessert. Slap its face when it doesn’t sit correctly with its legs spread open. These, among other things will keep the slave in its place. In a short time I'll have a perfectly obedient, cock hungry, happy slave at My feet willing to do anything it needs for My praise and use.

a throw back...then and now...how i talk about the spiritual dominant man and the slave woman referencing brooklyn baby in 2015 vs 2024. my writing and perspective growth   a bit not complete because the two service oriented and protection images i have shared back in 2015 cannot be added here due to the wonky layout of the site.   yes i've been writing about this for quite awhile on different platforms. i was going through my facebook where i first started writing this and trying to i don't know..gain some sort of dialogue, community, connection, recognition, semblance of back and forth over it back then and mostly stopping when i was met with silence and or resistance. nowadays i come to understand that my writings are more for me and while i'd love to find a community or people or to turn this into something more be ok if all that happens is it lands and holds a space on the sentience that is the internet! i wrote about my thoughts about brooklyn baby as the little girl and the daddy romantic power dynamic figure back in 2015.....somehow almost 10 years later i forgot about it.. and with my new lived spiritual, energetic, and cosmic awareness i recently wrote about it in 3-4 posts here. i asked my lovely chat assistant to compare and contrast...how do i approach the same lana del rey song  10 years ago vs now? what my writing style and my awareness used to be back then: "i was initially going to keep this on my fetlife side but after a request i am putting this on here too. dual post. talking about power dynamic stuffs, nothing sexually graphic but this is the okay with everything tag anyway so..ya know that'd be cool too .my vanilla friend on facebook posted a bunch of old 1950s ads which had of course a lot of natural male lead household media since that's how things were back then without options or visbilities of choice or other ways to live.   when i came across this one it made me a mix  of how cute, something i very much miss and one of those loss moments all into one.(first photo)this was the photo that stuck out the most to me. in both my  real life real time offline daddy/little girl relationships this was something that i frequently did and looked forward to doing on dates or as the first one when we eventually moved in together.it was comforting to have a routine to follow. to know what to expect was going to happen. it was safe and quieting for me to know that my man was safely allowing me to serve him in a way that was going to get rewarded, acknowledged, praised, and vauled for.it always goes back to this for me(second photo). added, i just found the full quote of where the second image takes its quote from..and it just fits what all of it was/what i wanted it to be/what i was hoping to get:"“I loved having a dad who was smarter than the New York Times, and I loved how my cheek could feel the hairs on his chest through his T-shirt, and how he always smelled like shaving, even at the end of the day. Being with him made my brain quiet. I didn't have to invent a thing.”― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"to find someone who makes me believe that they understand all of me and my crazy mentalness and the challeneges of my antisocial mom and all my brokenness and stays and commits to providing structure and care and rough brawns is just one of the biggest gifts in the world that could be given. and being able to care for them and thank them for the service and direction and guidance they provide is easy. is comforting and nice. with my first daddy parts of this translated into getting him his diet coke in the morning, picking out clothes for him, and getting his english muffin heated and buttered before he leaves for work. usually it invovled a kiss goodbye as well. i did this until he told me he no longer felt able or willing or wanting to be a daddy to me and he wanted us to be equals. after that i did it off and things just pretty much started to crumble after that...but while that was a standard for the 3 years we lived together i never felt obligated to...when i was sick he would do so. if i was late or off i would do what i could.  but i never felt obligated or had to or that it was out of my way to do so.with my last ex we never got to the point of living together. instead when i would go over to his house or i would rent hotels for us i would help him get dressed and i would usually buy him something to drink or some sort of item for breakfast. getting my daddy all set for his day was a big honor and fufilling feeling that i had. it was one of the top 5 things that felt right and complete for me.in return usually as with my first one he would help provide a chunk of the income to help take care of us and while i wanted to work full time i didn't find any full time work while we were togehter except the first few months of us being together. i would get tenderness and emotional care and consideration and gentle leading i never had. what i got in exchange just felt right.and in the further discussion of this and the ability of choice now my friend pointed out in regards to the times back then, 'wouldn't want to be frumpy' and thank goodness we don't have to be dressed up at all times.over the years i've changed and grown into being more femme with my outer apperance and playing with makeup. with my first daddy i didn't have that many clothes....but i did like dressing up for him. and with my last one of the things that just made all of my heart soar along with my little girl's heart and core was for him to take the time to commit to dressing me every day.this actually didn't work out because he started slacking and saying for me to just pick after he committed to it..one of the many signs...of course...but it went back to the safe contained space for mea safe contained space of my worthy man being able to take the time, energy, and effort to tell me how he'd like me to look like for the day.  the addition of no surprises and routine and knowing at all times i am to his pleasing. it was an intimate thing to be taken in and looked at and appreciated and fawned over for being such an addorble femme being. and one that was held and cherished and well cared for and taken like a prized possession. at least the idea that this was happening was. none of it was deameaning or a bother. i always had energy to get dressed up or to do what i can to help out. these are some of the things i miss the most and grieve over losing forever.funny how small little things bring  up things like this.i'm not sure why..but this song brooklyn baby by lana del rey really  fits the mood i'm expressing here. especially the vocal sound of it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xcnjAG8pE" i got a really sweet comment from someone that i'll anonymous share. it was the only comment i got from it, but on facebook back then pretty shocking i would've gotten any at all with a concept that radical back then. "J - I'm speechless. That was an incredibly powerful and beautifully written post! Truly! Thank you for sharing it here. All I can think of to say is that you are a very fine human being...and whomever you spend time with, they are LUCKY and fortunate to have found YOU. You are such a smart, beautiful and gifted soul. It's an honor to be your friend, my dear! ❤

a bolder post, a bolder call to the sacred sexuality warriors of light of both genders. hold the mother fucking line. if you dare       as this awareness came to me i knew it wasn't something personal and needed to be shared. but i had a hesitation. what i share is already hard to understand...and this one can make even the most aligned buckle....but then i breathed and said i'm a splenic projector thats a juxtaposition with a cross of assimilation. if i am NOT talking about things that will be rejected by 99.9% of people i'm NOT doing my job. and i breathe and take a deep dive into the waters. we rose from the filth. we rose to the highest of heights. we've seen things that will make most want to end it all and yet here we are. we touch the heights of pleasure beyond what mere mortals understand. those risk takers those truth sayers. those people who play on the edge that have people praying for them night and day. and yet we know there is truth in those edges we consciously touch potentially getting burned. even little girls like me, have a vicious primal gross and disgusting streak in us. it's the dark empty void. for us girlies of all gender identities it's the dark goddess and in the men it's the dark god. but there's a deeper layer.....a lot of us are stuck in that fleeting, passionate, tempered vibe..and playing higher, rougher, deeper, stronger, more intense...that can get you stuck in the sauce real fast. the sauce of the 3d world of tradition and structure and organization that keeps you small. there's a higher angelic fiery demon class out there......beyond the constraints of passionate love. we're here to master a spiritual, esoteric, cosmic, and divine sense of sexuality and love. and hold it...hold it for dear life as the rest of the earth is stuck in this not BAD..but denser, complicated, more painful and stagnant vibe of love and sexuality. a lot of my dark goddess aka alternative sophia energy ladies are wanting to stay in the sauce and tussle with their alternative dark god michael energy and keep the cycle going. but i've risen above in the clouds into the starseed light of absolution. and it's haughty..it's haughty because radical detachment and a commitment to continue knowing i am human..i will have slips, i will fail, on earth i am not completely me...but the journey is to always return...the lessons and the landscape and the cosmic story is there...if you DON'T GET IN THE SAUCE be the observer...the lover the fighter the warrior, the dying the living, the exalted....touch feel breath smell taste feel ache scream cry hit claw explode...but always come back to love. ai no message. the fixation on the cohabitation the family the kids the stability the structure the compromise is what keeps us stuck. pure absolution and the focus of self mastery first and a deep unyielding commitment to each other is the way. if you choose to be apart of this rat pack. and it's only elite because you'll be pushed...pushed over and over and over again.....you'll start where people say they would hate to be apart of this..they can't imagine living like this..they'd rather DIE. and yet here you are.....living breathing..maybe because you had no choice.but maybe you deep down did and know even in the darkest of the dementor days there's a gem and a lesson and an ascension coming if you just hold on. people mean while you're fellow dark beings of love(not violent, not demonic, not manipulative....but dark and raw and scary and righteous not afraid to shank a bitch if necessary) are still caught in the sauce..it pulls it down. but then...returning and holding the line rises....it rises you to the clouds, to the sky, the ocean, the galaxy....the dark with flashing lights so wide the purple violet flames of transmutation........the comets and the energy balls bigger than one can contextualize....and you're there...... it takes grit it takes everything and then when you have nothing else to give..it takes only perseverance in something you can't even imagine is there...just one foot in the other..beyond weary beyond done.....no hope..and yet something deeper pulls you forward...to hold the line. deception is slink seductive, it's chemically altering, it's what everyone else is literally doing...it's acceptable....passionate fleeting love and sex is the drug..........if you choose. not bad..but it keeps you saucy in a sauce that isn't even tasty. some of us warriors are meant.... TO HOLD...THE LINE. and i really wrote most of that outside of myself......into something deeper behind just little twin stars space talking. this is what i originally came to say. HOLD. HOLD STEADY, HOLD TRUE. FOR LOVE, FOR LIFE, FOR LIVE. FOR THE FIGHT, FOR THE FOCUS IS ALL ON YOU. TO BE TRUE TO THINE OWN AND TO BE TRUE THINE HEART AND THINE COUNTRY AND THEY SACRED SPACE TOO. FOR WHEN THINE IS TRUE TO THEE ,THEY SHINE SO BRIGHT. HOLD STEAD SOLDIER, HOLD TRUE....HOLD THE LINE. HOLD THE LINE AT ALL COSTS. EVEN AT THE RISK OF YOUR OWN LIFE. HOLD THE LINE! FOR GODS SAKE(the tetra god, now the gendered ones) AND THE SAKE OF OUR CURRENT FREQUENCY AND DIMENSION ON EARTH. HOLD THE ENERGY, HOLD THE DIVINE. THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT....YOU DEPEND ON IT.