From Messaging I think I have found that a Dominant Master who is not just looking to lock you up and take you out from society knows the Psychology of Mind Control and can recognize how to properly indoctrinate you and knows your weakness and strengths and knows how to unseat those strengths and play to your weakness to make you learn to be dependent on the Master for everything just to avoid the sensory deprivation part of the breakdown. In the end you are the blank canvas and willing slave for a life of servitude and no regrets or expectations anymore. slave to be taken

  I know i am a good person and i am not a liar or a bullshitter, I find it an insult when someone tries to bullshit me and yet they insist, even swear, its the truth. I have no time for that.   I am a sub but i am a strong woman. Not a doormat in any sense though i am a softy for those i care about.  I am pretty smart and have been told i am a pleasure to be with. Humor is a part of me, i am respectful, tho i can be a lil sassy now and then.  I do have 2 dogs my big boy is 11 and my little one is 6 both good boys most of the time lol  What i like the most about this lifestyle, is having the freedom to be and feel what i always felt but never let it show, because i believed it was a sign of weakness. Most of the time i do like rough, sexually moreso than physically.  Love spankings and not the ones for being bad those are different I am submissive, i do not wish to take or have control, I do like to be able to share my thoughts and or feelings concerning whats going on.

Football Player experiences the Milking Machine October 30, 2023 - Football player experiences the MILKING MACHINE Football player came for a visit. And it's been quite a while. Quite a while since he has visited, and QUITE A WHILE since I have written a story. (Sorry, I've been both busy and lazy) Oh my God his visit was absolutely incredible. He got here at noon and left at about 2:00. He messaged me around 11am and said he would stop by at noon. By the time he got here I had been watching porn and had a nice hard on. Probably the last three or four times that he got here he wanted to suck my dick but I couldn't get hard because of a new medication my doctor had me on. I did not have that problem today, I was as hard as a rock. He was sucking on my dick for a few minutes and... Continued on http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace

Read a profile tonight.  The dumbnant said that he is looking for someone he can tell "what a piece of shit she is even in front of others even her family".What ever happened to "don't scare the nillas"?Vanilla people didn't consent to be a part of your dynamic. Even other kinksters didn't consent.Who are you to do what we do in front of non-consenting people, especially if it can have consequences for your partner outside of bdsm circles?That just screams to me of someone who is an abuser, not a dom.Prove me wrong. For some reason, won't let me spell d-u-m-b-i-n-a-n-t right ..

So, many years ago I met someone on here, who absolutely blew my mind.  I'd never experienced control before and it was an amazing journey. From the very beginning, the controlling of my time, as in what I did with my free time, updates of where I would be at certain times in the day so they always knew where I was. Having to be available at specific times. Not a minute before or a minute after. Controlling how and when I touched myself if I could have an orgasm. Even my clothing having to replace my underwear with women's underwear. Sitting to go to the toilet. All these things which I was told was leading up to a very hard limit of feminizing. Which was a total mind fuck. Because with each step that I was pushed and you eventually that that limit would be pushed as well and if both scared and excited me at the same time.  Now I never knew as we never got to it if that would have happened, whether I would have been feminized or whether because it was a very hard limit of mine, it was simply used as a mind fuck. Either way it's certainly did the trick. The less freedom I had and the more control she took made me feel so submissive and so desperate to continue to please.

In realms where strength meets humble grace, Submission finds its chosen space. A choice to yield, not weak but strong, In trusting hearts where love belongs.   It's not a surrender to despair, But a gift of trust, a love affair. A dance of souls, a subtle art, Where two as one find a brand-new start.   In nature's realm, the river bends, To flow with grace, it condescends. To mountains tall, it bows its stream, Submission's beauty, a tranquil dream.   In love's embrace, we often find, Submission's power, so intertwined. To give, to serve, to empathize, In these acts, our love shall rise.   Submission's not about defeat, But a choice to make love complete. In vulnerability, we find connection, Submission's path, a deep affection.   So let us honor this noble creed, Where love and trust plant a fertile seed. In submission's embrace, we stand tall, Together we rise, for love conquers all.  

Many folks talk about the importance of watching for red flags when searching for a Domme. In truth there are red flags a Domme must watch out for when interacting with a sub. See some below: -Claims they have no limits -Pressures the Dominant into playing in ways that violate their personal limits. -Shows no care or concern for the dominants wants/needs -Insists on playing with no safe word -Only talking to the Dominant when they are horny -Making threats of doing something drastic if the Dominant leaves or does not talk to them -Calling the dominant names or honorifics without their consent  -Insists on playing with you when they barely know anything about you -Demanding money or gifts. If you think of other red flags to add, please let me know. 

"So into you" or why ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is A post from my group- from Jan 2022 ___________ The subject today will be centered around ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. (cont)

For those of you that may want to , but can't really move, I'll say what you probably have heard many times. FIND SOMONE LOCAL.  On the other hand I could use someone remote to help develop a website with lifestyle merch for sale that I have designed myself.  Mainly clothing .  I know I can do 2 things one is get someone else to build it from a place like fivver .  No problem but the  subject  is kind of sensitive so I'm not sure about getting someone else to do it that is outside the lifestyle.  The other thing is to do it myself as I have done sites myself before.  But it's time consuming and I spend most My time designing and marketing.  However I  would rather find someone in the lifestyle to do it even if it means I pay someone .   The other thing I  am looking for is for someone to seriously get me started in crypto.  Not just a statement like " go to this site and sign up" .  I know there is a lot more  to it .  There are courses and some follow crypto gurus to immulate what they do .   I know this is maybe something I'm just putting out there on a limb but if I don't put it out there then it won't be known I'm also looking for that as well as getting someone here fulltime. 

 A collar isn’t just a symbol… it’s a question What does your collar mean to you? Is it ownership, trust, devotion, identity… or something else entirely? For some, it’s a sacred vow. For others, it’s a promise to themselves — a reminder of who they are when they give themselves over.   I want to hear your thoughts. When you see or wear a collar, what stirs in your heart? Is it pride? Submission? Comfort? Or maybe a little fear that makes you more alive?   Let’s open this dialogue. Share your experience. 

Creating a Space That Feels Like Daddy’s Embrace       an ingredient list of the nurturing daddy vibes. a casual share. waterfall sounds. crystal bowls..check the blue archangel michael and masculine color used by the youtuber. performed by a guy as well. essential oils of immunity boost blended with palma rosa in the essential oil diffuser ultimate music of silly chill nurturing daddy vibes kurt vile.bassss asssssssss ackwards cozzy robe(mine is blue as well) weighted elephant blanket fuzzy long rabbit to imitate: a hug, a touch, a smell, a holding, a cheek to cheek cuddling a wrapping your body around and feeling a resonance. heartbeat to heartbeat. human touch. What are some of your go-to comfort rituals or items that make you feel safe and cared for? What sounds, textures, or scents remind you of being cared for or feeling at peace? Does anyone else have a favorite song or sound that makes them feel completely held and comforted?

Femdom should be about finding joy and pleasure in a dynamic that suits you and your partner(s). Not about fixing a sub's sexism- not that it would work anyways. Most people I've talked to say that their desire for femdom predates knowledge of femdom, or of sexual arousal. While some people may have a more concrete "I'm into femdom because of a specific reason" most people I interact with like it because they like it. Vanilla people don't have to have reasons to like vanilla sex.

8/12/22 Football player gets what he wants Football player boy came over for the first time in quite a few months. So I knew his ass was going to be tight, and I wasn't mistaken.When he first arrived I was sitting in my rocking chair wearing only a pair of boxers. I had been playing with myself so not only was I already heard but I had pre-cum oozing down my cock.We've been getting together for quite a number of years, so he doesn't even have to be told, he strips as he walks through the door. As he was stripping there he exchanged a few pleasantries, how have you been, it's been a while, sorry I'm a few minutes late. I just pulled my cock out from my shorts and said, come take care of this.He got down on his knees and took my cock in his hand. He saw the precum dripping from the tip, and licked it off.  Then he immediately latched on to my cock taking it all the way to my balls.    He has an outside job so he's been in the sun a lot. I don't think I ever remember him looking this tan. His hair is cut extremely short this time. His broad shoulders have a new tattoo since I saw him last. The view looking down at him is incredible.I rested my hand on the back of his head feeling his rhythmic bobbing up and down on my cock. He knew exactly what he was doing, I didn't need to guide him in any way. Although a few times I just wanted to hear him choke on my cock, so I applied pressure on the back of his head until I felt my cock head bottom out in the back of his throat.This went on for a few minutes, but I remembered something he told me during his last visit. He wanted to expand his repertoire again. Originally many years ago he had a girlfriend who would peg him. They broke up and he couldn't find another girl to peg him. That's when we met. And at the beginning all I was allowed to do wish of toys up his ass.Years later, many patient years later, he said he wanted to try sucking cock. Months after that he wanted to taste my load. It has been fun watching him change over the years. And now he wants FUCKED by my cock. This is what he told me at the end of our last session quite a few months ago. Today was the day.We went downstairs and he climbed into the sling. I secured his ankles high into the air as he scooted down in the sling to give me plenty of access to his hole. He doesn't like the roughness of my fingers, so I slipped a pair of rubber gloves on, applied some lube and started playing on the outside of his ass. Normally I just dive in with one or two fingers, but today I wanted HIM to WANT IT extra bad. I wanted him to yearn for it.I teased the outside of his hole and I could feel him lunging in the sling by grabbing the chains and trying to push himself onto my finger. But I was just teasing him at this point. I reached up and stroked his cock a few times, and then went back to teasing his hole.Eventually I gave him what he was yearning for at the moment, I slid my finger deep into his ass with one swift movement. My finger landed on his hard prostate. Some days his prostate is kind of soft until I get him sexually excited at which point it gets hard as a rock. Today, it was hard as a rock the moment I touched it. I applied a little pressure and noticed pre-cum ooze out of the end of his cock.With one finger still up his ass massaging his prostate, using the other hand I smeared his pre-cum over his cock head and started stroking it. He threw his head back and looked in the mirror above us on the ceiling of the basement. I was watching his face and his eyes as he intently focused on every movement I made.As expected his ass was tight. Wonderfully tight. But eventually I worked a second finger into his hole. I don't know where he learned to clean his ass out, but he does a better job than anyone I know. He's definitely a pro at cleaning himself out, and that means I can use larger and longer toys.But for now I was just working him over with one and then two fingers. Occasionally sliding a third finger in. I watched as he gazed into the mirror above us and I gave him a bit of a show. I pulled my fingers out and put my index finger as deep as I could. Then I would pull it out and replace it with only my middle finger twisting my hand around as I played with his prostate. Then I pulled my middle finger out and replaced it with my ring finger and little finger at the same time, I spun my hand around again.I pulled my fingers out and replaced them with my index and middle finger, the easy way. Vertically, aligned with his ass crack. But then with a twist of 90°, he was getting my fingers the hard way. But he was doing just fine. He was enjoying it as much as I was.His cock was hard and I continued to play with it. And then I did something I usually don't do. And you would think I was doing it for his benefit, and I want him to think I was doing it for his benefit, but this was just a little treat for myself. I took the head of his cock in my mouth and started twirling my tongue around his piss slit. I glanced up and saw him throw his head back, I think his eyes might have rolled backwards a bit toward his skull.I continued sucking on his cock until I had his entire cock in my mouth. I bobbed up and down a few times and he started to moan incredibly. I know from the past experience that once he orgasms were done for the day, as with most guys. And there was no way I was going to risk that. So I popped my mouth off his cock and continued working on his ass putting a third finger in.He loves CBT so with my fingers still firmly planted inside him, I grabbed a wooden spoon. I started smacking his balls lightly at first but rhythmically

Lady of Mexico In Mexico, where the sun meets the sand, There lived a woman, fierce and grand. Her spirit strong, her will untamed, In her veins, a legacy unashamed.   She ruled with grace, her presence known, In every step, her power shown. Her eyes ablaze with fiery might, A force of nature, shining bright.   In lands of color, where passion thrives, She led with strength in all her strides. Her essence echoed through historys call, A dominant spirit, standing tall.   In Mexicos embrace, she found her way, A queen of purpose, unafraid to sway. With courage as her guiding flame, She carved her place, a revered name.   In every heart, her story lives, A dominant woman, whose power gives Inspiration to those who dare to dream, In Mexicos tapestry, a vibrant seam.  

Regarding safewords and such... saw a journal post that caught my attention. My two cents worth: Don't rely on colors or even simple code words like "uncle" or "mercy" playing the very first or even first few times with someone new. If they don't agree with "No" means "No," at the outset, don't play with them. Don't be the sub that consents to having any choice taken away with someone new, and don't be the Dom(me) who takes that choice away. Save the word games for later in the friendship, after more trust is built up, and you have more assurance of your partner's safety and care for your welfare, or they have from you of their own. I for one have gone so far as to have actually used "Mercy" in a scene that I felt was going too far, but She didn't hear me, and I didn't repeat it. And I endured it. It was Someone I knew for almost 20 years by then. It didn't destroy what we had, and I was okay with it afterwards. But here's the thing: We had known each other that long, and we had that deep a trust while in the Dungeon. It wouldn't have been acceptable the first time we played if I had said "No" and She didn't stop. But She was always much more attentive than that. I've been fortunate that all the Tops and Dommes I've been with (only several, I assure you) have not crossed acceptable consent boundaries at all. They have known not to without having to negotiate it. Every Top should know not to, and every bottom has a right to expect that. I would call it common sense, if sense were really common.

sacred symphony: where love, lust, and devotion meet i’ve found myself at the crossroads of neurodivergence, spirituality, and kink—a meeting place where dominance isn’t just about power but about the profound and unending interplay of trust, ownership, and devotion. writing about these experiences feels like capturing the essence of an eternal union, where love, lust, and passion merge with spiritual and physical commitment to create a connection that transcends the fleeting and becomes permanent. this isn’t about navigating the surface of dating; it’s about diving into the sacred depths of what it means to fully belong to one another—body, mind, and soul. it’s about exploring devotion as an act of ultimate union, a fusion of spiritual and carnal energies that defy time and space. through my words, i seek to articulate the beauty and power of a connection that isn’t just a relationship but a lifelong symphony of surrender, love, and sacred commitment.  

   Ali’s Story      Ali's Story had a lot unsaid, a lot unrevealed. I have discussed aspaspects with friends and recently someone asked me what I'd do if Ali called me out of the blue. I don't know how I'd react, I really don't know. What would you do?   For my friends and the curious here is.       Ali’s Story It’s my epic summer. I crave the heat. Heat seems to stir up my happiness genes. I had no idea how my organized, careful world would come to such an abrupt and decisive end. You can direct and plan your life in a fashion that corresponds with your economic means and social demands or you can try to self-actualize. I had gone the safe route with occasional side trips to my secret life. I say chuck it all, why not live in the brief time you have. Revel in your oneness. Narcissism in small bites might not be a bad thing. Why all the detail? I wanted to make sure you understood I wasn’t bored and looking for some gratuitous action. I had a lot of cool things to hold my attention. Why I encouraged a visit to a part of my life I always thought of a

Sexual ownership and use is a crucial part of what I look for and what I need. I know some look down on that, but I have my reasons. I am searching and seeking and hoping to find something I had a long time ago, a complete sense of ownership and sexual use with no say in how or when or why I was used. It was very, very sexual and I was completely at the whim of a stronger person who could take or do anything to me at any time. They did not take certain liberties, but they could have and they made sure I was very well aware of their power over me. Because that experience was the very thing that unlocked the door of servitude for me, sexuality and sex is a very crucial part  of what I need. I am not talking about my own gratification. If someone so chose, they could provide that, but that would totally be up to them. I am talking about their use of me...however THEY choose...to make THEM happy. When they are done, they can put me back in the closet, in a cage or where ever they choose. Female or male, black, white, hispanic, oriental...matters not to me as much as the opportunity to be used as an outlet for their sexual frustrations, pleasure, whatever they choose. Ask me about the experience and I will tell all about it. When I am contacted by a straight male dom, I'm never quite sure if I'm what they're looking for and often I am not. More often than not they're looking for "worker slaves" and while I am open to that and no stranger to working hard, it would not fulfill me as a slave to simply have that ect explored. Sound odd? It probably does....but my early, early experience left its mark on me forever.

A vignette I wrote a few months ago.  Don't steal it.The Dance The thrum of bass reverberates down to their bones, coaxing and encouraging. Piano gently punctuates as limbs float and entwine. Skin gliding on skin. Hands sliding over silk. Her fingers brush over the hairs on his arm as he holds her—the most precious entity ever to exist. Her body sinuous, gently undulating as the music carries her away. Away from the crowd of people, the heat, the sweat. She could no longer smell old cigarettes and spilled drinks. It was only the two of them. His scent mingling with hers as their bodies slid against one another. Her body undulates with the rhythm of the sensual music, her lush curves gracing along his front, awakening every sense. Where their bodies touch electricity caressed them, soft as velvet, sharp as knives. His hands caress her curves as he sways and flows to the beat, the willing supplicant to her exploration, her declaration. Her scent caresses him encouraging him to lean forward to smell her more fully. Nose gliding over the elegant curve of her neck, his lips barely brush her soft skin. Explosions fill her mind, her awareness pinpoints to that spot, her head tilting of its own volition, allowing deeper access. He kisses her there, at the base of her neck, lips gentle and firm. He kisses up the side of her neck, light and teasing, his tongue darting out here and there to sample her taste. Intoxicating. One of his hands splays across her front, thumb grazing the underside of her breast. The other hand at her shoulder, holding them both steady, braced on each other.   Her body shifts from sensuous curves to seductive undulations, her body snaking against his. Every slide side to side, hips curving up-over-down in a hypnotic wave. She was a seductress, a witch, a sorcerer, a purveyor of all things sensual and divine, delicious and addictive.   He knows that she is the director in this moment. She holds him fast, and he sinks into her. Running his hands from her shoulders down her sides. Feeling her curves, each of her movements pulls him along in her world.   With a change in the music, he gently turns her to face him, slowly dragging their sweat-damp clothes against each other. The tempo of the beat is faster now, elevating their heartbeats with it, with the touch of skin on skin. The heat rising sweat beads on their skin.   Their bodies push against each other, feeling each curve and angle. His hands shift down to her hips, pulling her close. Her arms snake up around his neck.   Eyes half-mast with passion, she looks at him with a smirk on her lips. She pulls him down, slowly, firmly. He gives readily to the pressure, her smile mirrored as he takes in her eyes, heady and powerful. His gaze shifts to her lips, full and lush. The kiss is soft at first. So soft. Gentle. Exploring with grazes. No one leading, no one following. Just two people, in this moment, holding fast to one another. Lips press, just barely. The soft tip of his tongue graces her top lip. She parts her lips and takes his bottom lip in her teeth. Applying pressure to control but not bring more than a little pain, she licks the lip still in her teeth before releasing it. Languid. He doesn’t allow them to part, not yet. The fires burn to life in his mind, his chest, his flesh. He deepens the kiss before pulling her to his chest. Allowing his lips to dance with hers, they make their own music amidst the pounding beat and gesticulating bodies.   His tongue runs along the edge of her lips, top then bottom, he pulls out of the kiss. Eyes burning, lids at half-mast. Shared breath.   His hand lightly traces a line down her arm, fingers entwining with hers. The side of his mouth lifts in a smirk filed with dark passion. Stepping back, he pulls her with him through the congestion of bodies.   Burning with need.   Out the door.   Into the darkness.    

On the Nature of Slavery — A Master’s Perspective Slavery, in its truest sense — the ownership of one human being by another — predates recorded history. For over ten thousand years, it has existed alongside the growth of civilization, woven into the story of humankind itself. But there is a vital distinction to be made: the difference between non-consensual slavery and consensual slavery. Non-consensual, involuntary slavery is a crime. It is illegal in every major nation and stands in direct opposition to the principles of human dignity. I condemn it without hesitation. Any person found to be engaged in such practice deserves the full force of the law. It is an affront not only to morality but to civilization itself. And yet, there exists another path — one that is lawful, deliberate, and chosen: consensual slavery. This is no myth. It is as real as marriage, as binding in spirit as any oath freely sworn. In the eyes of the law, the word “slave” cannot appear in a legal contract — the 13th Amendment sees to that — but the principles of slavery can be honored, so long as the arrangement is entered into by informed, willing adults. Consent is the keystone. The individual must be of sound mind, capable of understanding the depth of what they give, and willing to yield fully to the bond. In this way, rights may be waived, freedoms surrendered, not by force, but by choice. It is a reality the uninformed often deny, clinging to arguments born of ignorance or fear. They forget that people surrender rights every day — often without realizing it. The difference here is that it is done with eyes open. While some may call a monogamous, affectionate, and mutually respectful arrangement “slavery,” I do not. Such relationships, no matter how intense the play or ritual, I regard as deep Dominance and submission — not true slavery. Slavery, to me, is a state of being where one’s will is no longer one’s own, where the identity of “property” is absolute, and where the Master’s word is the axis upon which the slave’s world turns.   The law will never recognize true ownership of a human being — but within the sanctity of consensual agreement, within the walls of trust, discipline, and surrender, one can live it in spirit and in truth.

First meeting of 2023   Laura, a 39 year old female came this afternoon for a punishment session. Laura contacted me on another site about administering a punishment spanking for being disrespectful to her husband, spending too much money and generally being lazy around the house. Her husband, whilst not in the scene, suggested she get spanked as he thought it would be the only way she would 'get herself together' and start taking responsibility of her life and to stop acting like a teenager. He felt that she wouldn't take it seriously if he spanked her and he probably wouldn't do it properly. Laura was a slight woman, about 5'3", and I'd say 120lbs, shoulder length black hair, pale complexion, quite a few tattoos on her arms. She was wearing a red and black tee-shirt, black leggings, and thick soled, heeled shoes. Anyway, Laura was told to report to me at 2pm, she was HALF HOUR late!! Laura was a little sassy when she arrived, and a little cheeky when asked why she was late, "sorry", she said, "didn't think I was in the army", was her response. I immediately told her that lateness isn't tolerated and that I expect her to be here at the time I say. "bend over, now!" I said, and proceeded to take down her leggings. I gave her 6 very hard smacks! "Ow, ow, ow! sorry Sir!" I think she was surprised by how much it stung, having never been spanked before. Her eyes slightly teary. I told her to stand up and pull her leggings back up, I explained that it was her and her husband that asked me to punish her, so that's exactly what she'd get. The three of us agreed that Laura should have a thorough hand spanking, followed by the strap and finally the cane. I led Laura to my living room and immediately pulled her across my knee, I gave her 20 or so hard smacks on her bottom, then took down her leggings to her knees and followed up with a further 20 or so smacks. She was wearing small blue bikini briefs, not much protection. She made a lot of noise and wriggled about quite a bit, but this didn't stop me from continuing. She was definitely shocked by how much it hurt. I have large hands and I spank quite hard. Her pale bottom reddened really quickly, as I expected. I told her to stand up and strip, which she did without hesitation, then it was corner time for 10 minutes, hands on head and standing still. Laura had a reasonably fit looking body, medium sized breasts, pierced nipples, and was smooth all over. Her bottom was nicely pert, not too muscular, but had some 'meat' to it, for want of a better word. Once the 10 minutes were over, it was back over my knee. This time I put her over my left knee, and clamped her legs down with my right leg, and held her arm behind her back. This time she got three rounds of 30 spanks, very hard! Laura tried to wriggle a lot, and was pleading with me to stop through her crying. We didn't set a limit on hand spanking, I rarely do, however we did set a limit of 3x10 with the prison strap, and 3x5 with the traditional rattan cane. After the hand spanking finished, I told her to bend over my quite large leather pouffe, it's the perfect size for someone to be on all-fours, over the pouffe and still able to put hands on the floor on the other side. She waited there for 10 minutes, the crying reduced to sniffles. "Do you deserve this punishment?", I asked, "Yes Sir", "Did you expect it to hurt so much?", "No Sir" "Well that was only my hand, now you're going to get 30 with the strap" I gave her 10 fairly slow swats, not too hard. She cried out a lot, but took them well. Laura counted the next set of 10, "One, thank you Sir", "two, thank you Sir" ... etc. A little harder this time. She could barely speak now because she was crying so much. I re-assured her that she was taking the punishment well and that actions have consequences, so she should think about her behaviour in future. The final 10 came. She didn't count these. I spanked her quite hard and fast this time, her bottom was going from very red, to slightly bruised. She was told to stand against the wall a final time for 10 minutes, she was not rub her bottom. She was very sniffly so I offered her a tissue, I am compassionate lol. The time came for the three sets of five with the cane. I reiterated that the cane would hurt a lot and asked her if she accepted the punishment. "Yes Sir, I totally deserve this punishment" I put her in position ready for her caning, leaning against the wall, legs together, slightly bent over. She was told that she can wriggle about and make noise, but MUSTN'T break position or I'll start again. The first five strokes hurt a lot, she screamed. I could see her hands tense up, and her body straightened, tightening her bottom. Perfect strokes on my part, right across the sit spot. "ok, back into position", I told her. The next five strokes were to be counted, "One, I'm sorry for my behaviour", "Two, I'm sorry for my behaviour", etc. The strokes were reasonably slow, about every 5 seconds, giving her time to get back into position, and to say the line. I then proceeded to rub her bottom, and told that she'd done well, but the last five will hurt a lot. "Ok Sir, I'm ready" These strokes were hard and fast, no break in between strokes. Laura buckled, her body almost touching the wall. Immediately after the last stroke, she fell to the floor, crying and rubbing her bottom, which was now very bruised and sore. I comforted her and rubbed lotion into her bottom. I think the crying was more from the guilt of her behaviour, as much as from the pain of the spanking. I told her she could get dressed and have a drink of water. She was then free to leave. Laura apologised, but I said that she didn't have to apologise to me, but rather her husband. I told her that I hope the spanking was a good lesson to learn and that her husband should contact me again if she needs another punishment. So, a rather enjoyable first session of 2023, her husband has since messaged me to say that the punishment was exactly what was needed, her bottom was sore and bruised for a good number of days afterwards. He said he'll definitely be in touch if he needed me again in the future.

I've had the song Imagine in My head for the past several days.  I was going to try and come up with a little diddy to incorporate My thoughts to the melody - it didn't work.  So instead I will just spell it out. Imagine.... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world and I was in the Epstein files... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world and I was in the Epstein files and I had rubbed elbows with My neighbor and with leaders the world over, along their children, relatives, associates, movie stars, heads of corporations.... Now imagine how to go about resloving conflicts globally... Did you say BLACKMAIL?  How i n t e r e s t i n g.   How does a shyster resolve conflicts?  Your guess is as good as Mine, but I can tell you, as a non shyster I use whatever is at My disposal when trying to resolve issues.  So it would make sense that as the President, I would use much within My power to FIX PROBLEMS.  Also, if I were to ALREADY HAVE COMMITED unethical, immoral, illegal acts, and was facing exposure, you can bet your bippy that I am going to LET EVERYONE KNOW THEY ARE COMING DOWN WITH THIS SHIP IF I GO DOWN. So here it is folks, the difference between US AND THEM lay within MORALS, ETHICS AND LEGALITIES. Even if the leader of the free world were working the system to effect positive changes, is BLACKMAIL how you want these things to occur?  Is that okay with YOU?  If you say yes, you are the problem in My book.  If you said no, then VOTE damnit.  Vote for integrity.  Vote for justice.  Vote for morals.  Vote for ethics.  Vote for an example to your children and grandchildren.  Stop idolizing $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Do you have morals and ethics, emotional intelligence?  Does the present leader of the free world represent the morals, ethics and emotional intelligence of you or how you wish your child was, your neighbor, your politician? While on the subject of MORALS/ETHICS/LEGALITITES - lets no forget the subject of ABORTION.   ABORTION IS NOT THE SUBJECT. WOMENS RIGHTS ARE THE SUBJECT. GOD GAVE WOMEN THE HOME AND THE BIOLOGICAL INSTINCT TO NURTURE OURSELVES AND OUR BODIES. THE RIGHT OF ANOTHER LIFE TO GROW WITHIN ME IS NO ONES RIGHT OTHER THAN MINE! NO ONE ELSE GETS TO CHOOSE WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE MY BODY. NO ONE ELSE GETS TO CHOOSE WHAT HAPPENS TO THINGS GROWING INSIDE MY BODY. If a man walks into My house and leaves his luggage.  Possession is 9/10's of the law - I OWN IT! No one gets to DEPOSIT in My home and claim some kind of ownership!!!!  That is f*cking cray cray talking now!  Ya'll must be entirely off your rocker! You come into My body and leave something there, when you go, what remains is MINE.  If you have a problem with that, get in line to talk to GOD about all your issues.  What you cannot do is try and change the laws governing My HUMAN RIGHTS - SOVEREIGNTY OVER MY BODY.  Medicine is coming along way and there are ways for you to reproduce your seed without declaring eminant domain over one of your multiple ejaculations. This subject is such a no brainer. If you have rights over your body shit, then when you give Me herpes, chicken pox, or a cold, I ought to be able to collect on My pain and suffering, time lost from work, etc. This is an easy fix - PRESEX NUPTIALS.  Of course, most men cannot control their selves long enough to engage in rational thought before ejaculation, but... NOT MY PROBLEM. NOT A WOMANS PROBLEM. Just like My emotional roller coaster (monthly) is not your problem, just like My bleeding is not your problem, just like My tampons and sanitary napkins, My motrin, My fibroid tumors, My breast cancer or anything else is NOT YOUR PROBLEM...EITHER IS MY PREGNANCY. Get the fuck over yourself, get your own damn life and get the fuck out of MY BODY.  Yall are control freaks and you will meet your match with women today.  Keep it up.  Keep thinking you have the upper hand.    The only thing you are is a VIOLATOR if you believe you have any place inside MY CUNT.   

Its been a year since I discovered nu-metal. It's spoken to me like no other type of music has...Like as if...I was missing something in my life. My thoughts Is interpreted through the amplifyed speakers. Then, the YouTube algorithm brought KORN in the mix and just went absolutely crunk nutty.   

Fair WARNING    I WILL NOT deal with FAKES/or time wasters at all. The first time anything isn’t done the correct way I will block you immediately.   Everyone’s time is precious DONT WASTE MINE. As my time is EXTREMELY VALUABLE! I want what I want and WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A IDIOT THAT CANT COMPLETE A SIMPLE TASK.   #FrustratedGoddess 

Makes perfect sense  "Go to a movie... have dinner... look at a Rembrandt... talk about a poem... see a tree... look into a mirror together... do things that lead somewhere... AND THEN kneeling and giving orders has a reason... a purpose.. a deeper more fulfilling feeling of needs and desires..." -unknown  If I want to meet you,  our first meeting will be vanilla with a Dominant twist. It will be about getting acquainted with each other,  getting comfortable in each others presence. Our first meeting and those after will be dictated by Me. If you don't communicate,  don't expect Me to read your peebrain. If you have the audacity to agree to a meet and you fail to follow through,  you can be sure I will tax you if you reach out to Me again.  In the event you failed a previous meet, you will pay for the previous failure.

Being friends with an ex is only a good idea if you have zero feelings left for them. Logically, I know this. I was reminded for the twenty eleventh time that men are simple creatures. When they want something, they do something about it. No action, no option. Logically, we don't fit together, we just really wanted to. I have a hard time separating the fact that he is a good and decent person from that. Maybe its the idea of letting a good one get away. Maybe that's why he holds on, too.  You know what I miss? Banter. Long talks about nothing just enjoying each other's company. Laughing. Texts about simple things. We never had that. I will call a truce on my hated of French for a brief moment to emphasize a feeling. In French you do not say I miss you. You say, you are missing from me. That slow and easy connection is missing from me. I feel all the little pockets of empty where it should reside and spill into, like gravy. It's relationship gravy, and I need it like I need air.  End of truce. 

All of these journals that are being written today..   The sound of muffled feigned pleas whisper in the air of the dark room. The only sharp sounds that radiate through the wind is the sound of the combat heels I adorn and the sound of the whip whirling so eagerly close to your skin. With each push of air towards your bare skin, the whimper of fear and pleasure ring out. Fear of the sting, pleasure from thinking you'll get your way and knowing I'll take care of you. Your wrists and knees are going tired from the face down position you're locked into, repositioning your knees causes more wrist flicks from me. Still there isn't any connections yet. Watching sweat bead down your back, my hand slides up the back up your ass cheek, the sweat making the slick material glove to glide so easily. The movement from your jolting was involuntary, you're spared a smacking with the paddle. You're disappointed and starting to get aggravated. Sitting in front of you, straddling the bench you're leaning over, I'm watching you closely, waiting for the whimpering we both know will be happening soon. The denial of physical touch besides once is tipping your aggravation into pure aggression for satisfaction. The cock gag in your mouth is making you drool right between my thighs, causing me to raise a curious eyebrow.   How long can you wait?

Vacation!  It's finally here. A time I can relax and enjoy ... And process my future. I'm so damn old and I'm trying to figure out if I should settle. Just call everything off or hell continue just talking the talk but never walking the walk. This is a sufficient approach but every few weeks to months I'm gonna crash out and spiral downward... Ok so maybe not... The alternative is to find at my old, big back age the lifestyle I thought I was gonna live. Actually, the more I think about it my bf was supposed to be that and it gradually grew into this platonic vanilla relationship we have now. But I get to play as much videogames as I like and smoke. So maybe it's a good trade off. 2 activities I refuse to give up. They're my precious hobbies. I dunno. I gave myself 2 weeks to really figure out my life because I feel like I'm at a crossroads: stay or seriously go. I don't mind being alone. Loneliness sucks but that's not a factor for me. .. Ok maybe a very small one. It's not like my bf and I are fucking. That's another reason why to go but also sex isn't... It is... It's very very important but I want bdsm much more than just fucking. I didn't mean porn and I don't mean sessions...I mean lifestyle. I call it sex because it's what my master and I do. But it was more than just sex. It was control, mastery, manipulation, force, molding, and so much more. I can find one night stands and I'm left needing more. So maybe I should settle? Gah! I just don't fucking know.

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

One of the biggest red flags isn't someone asking once unless clearly stated in profile. It's someone who keeps asking after you've already said something makes you uncomfortable. If you trusted me. Just this once. You're overthinking it. You'll like it if you try. Anyone who genuinely respaspects YOUR consent understands that "I'm not comfortable with that" is a complete sentence, not the opening of negotiations. They don't keep circling back hoping you'll be tired, lonely, guilty, or worn down enough to give in. If someone repeatedly asks you to ignore your boundaries, they're showing you exactly how much they value your autonomy. Believe them. You do not owe anyone access to your body, your mind, your time, or your energy because they keep asking. Persistence is not proof of affection. It's often proof they think your "NO" has an expiration date. Stand your ground. Block them if they won't stop. Report them if they cross the line. Protecting yourself isn't rude. It's the bare minimum. The people worth keeping in your life won't treat your boundaries like a puzzle to solve. They'll treat them like a map showing how to respect you. Funny how the people who complain the loudest about boundaries are usually the ones who benefit most when you don't have any.

So it crops it's head up again, and I feel the need to address it head on.  My profile states that I am only interested in someone who is local. Yet I continue to hear from "subs" in new england, tennessee, iowa, you name it. Do they do me the courtesy of asking why I want someone local? No. Do they ask me if someone who is free to move to San Antonio would be considered? Do they ask if it matters that they are independently wealthy or can work anywhere in the country? No and no. Instead they assume that they know what is going on here, and they know what I want, and plow ahead with no consideration for my clearly stated boundary/interest level. I will therefore state (again) clearly: I am looking for someone who is local. I have no time or interest to engage in the kind of drawn out online vetting that I would require to allow someone to move to San Antonio because of me. It doesn't matter if you have money, employment, high employability, connections or a lack thereof where you are or in San Antonio. If you do not live in or near San Antonio or regularly (3 or more times a month) come to San Antonio ALREADY you are NOT LOCAL and I am NOT INTERESTED. If you are curious about what it tells me when you are not local but you contact me anyway with the intention of becoming my submissive, look for my earlier journal writing addressing this very same topic.

The amount of people submitting payment requests for preorders on FYF is comical. ROFL Just to be sure, Ive been sending out the necessary releases to My people enmasse so they can be prepared for all possibilities.  Honestly, ya'll have Me laughing-snorting with how serious you take Me. Its inspiring and hilarious. Onward and upward. Applying to Me is not a walk in the park.  You have to jump through the hoops I set for you and you may never understand why I do what I door how I do or when I do.  This part is not about you getting it...it is about Me getting what I want in order to assess your ability to serve Me and Mine for life. Think rabbit hole, think nude, think entirely enslaved.  Then you might come close to what I am thinking and what I am looking for. Be sane, be real, be someone who can share in a telephone conversation, be someone who can move between worlds - or decidely be an object in My menagerie - still sane & real.

Lady:   Lady, oh Lady, so elegantly divine, With grace and kindness that wonderfully shine. Her presence like a gentle breeze, Bringing warmth and ease.   Her eyes sparkle with empathy and care, A heart so deep, willing to share. She walks with a poise so rare, A true embodiment of love and flair.   Her laughter rings like a soothing melody, Bringing joy to all, so effortlessly. A woman of strength and unwavering grace, A shining example for the human race.   In her kindness, the world finds solace, In her elegance, the heart finds its palace. Lady, oh Lady, a beacon of light, Guiding all with her radiance so bright.   May her spirit forever inspire, Kindness and elegance never to tire. For in her, we see a beauty so true, Lady, how amazing and kind are you.

 In shadows cast by candle's glow,   A whispered bond begins to grow,   With chains and ties and soft-spoken word,   A tale of devotion silently heard. She stands, a figure stern and fair,   A queen in her dominion there.   He kneels with eyes of deepened trust,   In her strength, his surrender a must. Her hand, a guide, firm yet kind,   In her will, his peace of mind.   He worships at her altar, so sweet,   Where pain and pleasure often meet. Commands she issues, soft yet clear,   To which he listens, holds dear.   Each task a token of his love,   Under her gaze, he rises above. Chains that bind him set him free,   In her control, she holds his key.   A dance of power, the roles they play,   With concrete walls, he finds his way. With every strike a story told,   Of lessons learned and disipline so bold.   In her hands, his world complete,   At her feet, the journey sweet. So in the quiet of the night,   His thoughts alone he knows his plight.   In the realm where she is queen,   His souls devotion is felt and seen.  

I was a member of CollarMe, then joined CollarSpace.  This is my third account here and will be my last.  If I don't find a sincere true slave for my search then I will move on to a different website.I am 100 percent real and sincere. I want a slave who is also real and sincere. I will answer questions as openly and honestly as I possibly can.  I have set up filters on messages.  Sorry, not sorry.  The last account had way too many messages that were from fakes and wannabes.  I appreciate those who are new to the lifestyle but I am someone who lives the lifestyle as much as possible.   I am also in the process of moving and so there will be periods of time where I might be slow to respond.  If you can't be patient then that is your issue and not mine.   Sorry to sound like a hateful *itch but it is what it is.  I am here for my own search and I also do not dance or jump through hoops for anyone.

I am finally in WV! It was a hectic past three months.  I don't know what I would have done without  my wonderful Dom, Tony! It has taken four days to recover from the stress of moving.  With the weekend packing, loading,  renting a huge cargo van, driving 6/7 hours, unloading and driving back for four weeks straight.  All while working and saying goodbyes.  Add to this, two parents having their separate issues, and projecting them...it's over! I'm in a cabin with my pets. Tony and I are working on adjusting. He trying to find a remote position, so he can come this way. Me trying to adjust to an area I have never been , and know not a soul here. Setting up utilities, , registering, making sure mail gets to me,  and all the things that go with a huge move. I'm still unpacking, and then I have to get the cottage ready to lease.  That will be a bit weird for me, I reeeeally like my privacy. But I need to set up passive income.   Lots to do, I miss you Tony💙💙   M.

12/04/2021   After a long ass time, I've finally returned to the site, to find the best possible option available to me, a journal entry system. I'll start by clarifying a few things, since I seem to get enough messages, no I am not a bot, yes I can tell when someone is a bot, and no I did not originally write the initial profile descriptions.  To be blunt, I was not the most supportive person when it came to this site, and didn't feel like getting involved. However, my former partners at the time, far more reserved than they come to appear in older versions of the profile, disagreed and decided that I need to replace them with someone else.  I am looking for a partner to have fun with, but more than that, I am looking to continue experiencing life...which hasn't been easy these last two years. Just when I was getting more involved on this site, the pandemic hit and made some things more difficult. I will admit to still looking for a creative "excercise" partner, and welcome anyone who'd like to join me.A lot of people had similar issues it seems, but I'll be here, clean and vaccinated, being as safe as I can and encourage all others to be the same.    Onto the juicy bits if y'all are still reading. I am still an Active Dom, last two years were rough but not without some interesting meetups, you'd be surprised at how many submissives are in the medical field and are desperate for some kind of release and feed into their fetish to alieviate the issues as of late, and I can't say I blame them given what I've seen of the emergency wards and the Covid floors.  Though my original profile entry is a bit more crass and disjointed than I'd have liked, I am still looking forward to meeting some folks here, and would more than welcome the opporotunity to engage in the community once more, Send me a message if ya wanna chat, game, or do whatever.

Dazzling, as if illuminated by a celestial spotlight, she stood next to the passenger door of a Black Mercedes-Benz Roadster.   Parked next to the light pole, the image of her, the car, and the reflective light was surreal.   “Door” she snapped. “ Get my door boy!” Head down he realized she wanted him to open the passenger door. Once open, she backed up to the car, in one graceful fluid motion she bent forward simultaneously sliding her round firm bottom into the leather bucket seat. Clutching her handbag she again snapped “ Close the door boy!”   It took a moment for his brain to adjust to his reality. Closing her door, he went to the drivers side and got in.   Fear of the unknown clouded his brain and overwhelmed his senses.   Her perfume. Her smell. The Leather smell. The car smell. He came aware with the click of her seatbelt. He did likewise. She reached from her seat and started the engine and turned the stereo on. Soft quiet smooth Jazz surrounded them.

There is a reason I don't mention my father often. Yes, I have father issues. Yes, it has helped shape who I am and what I try to overcome and who I try to be and not be. Let's talk about that. About him. If psychological family philosophy isn't of interest you may want to skip this one.  My father is a selfish, self centered, chauvanistic bully. Always has been, and he has no idea that he is. A lot of excuses have been made for his behaviors. He grew up doted on, his father was the same, blah blah blah, excuses. Now, I've known for some time that I am both more intelligent and emotionally aware than all of my parents. Still, I think people should recognize their own behaviors and adjust accordingly. Silly expectations, that's on me.  He makes me feel like a second class citizen. My opinion doesn't matter, my thoughts aren't worth paying attention to, he is right and I am wrong. It has created a lot of issues for me going all the way back to when I was a little PPC. Everything is a confrontation. It's never a question of curiosity, it's always a derogatory statement in the form of a question with a side of judgment and attitude. And it gets my back up. So I shoot back. Most people do not. I can't help it. And I know it just makes it worse because he won't back down for anything and won't see beyond needing to be the loudest. I'm trying to do this while feeling like a second class citizen and a lifetime of being dismissed, and I fumble a lot but I'm trying to stand up for myself and stand up to him and his opinions. It's scary difficult. It takes a lot out of me. It carves emotional scars a little deeper than they are.  I can honestly say that he has had girlfriends I would have traded him in for and if he died tomorrow I'd very likely be okay with it. I'm not heartless. I do a lot for him, I try to be a good daughter even though he's not been a very good father. I've come to terms with that fact. It can't be changed. He wouldn't own up to it if confronted. It is what it is. It took a long time to come to that.  An entire Thanksgiving meal just for the two of us since the rest of the parents couldn't be here. I ruined it at least three times, according to him. And my kitchen is too cluttered. And I need to do this and that. And I wait on him, bring him things, clean up after him, and stop talking when he ignores me for scrolling on his phone. I both wish and would never wish for you to actually feel this. It's so heavy on my brain, on my heart.  He left this morning and I am elated. I have a whole weekend to recover. To put my house back together. To erase him from my life until Christmas, when he will buy me things he likes without thinking about what I like or asking what I could use or looking at my wish list created for this very purpose, and I'll pretend to ooh and ahh and hope there are gift receipts. Prick. 

what about kinks?   a lot of people are only spécialised in only one thing, or just have interest on 3 or 4 things at most.   im spécialised only on sadism, but, what is sadism?  sadism can take a lot of form, and to understand what a person love and why, you need to understand what gave him interrest in this. for myself, i like sadism because i have fascination about it, im litterraly in urge to find a new trick to gave pain, i have a huge curiosity about a lot of thing, and im very creative, this define my sadism.   why i have fascination about it? take an exemple,  totally out of this. when you see an abandoned build, you can see the plants growing, maybe how much time its on this state, the building certainatly was beautiful before but now declining. a person is the same, when she/he came first the state is good, and i will work to change it, to corrupt/deprave it into another state. the difference is a person turn into the first state again, and again, given you the possibility to do it differently, finding another way, maybe better, maybe even if you didnt thought about before. that's my way of sadism. but yes i concede, i like to hear scream, sound of pain too. like i said before my fascination about this include the visual and the touch, when i finish my session i like to see all the changes, and touch it, swelling, bruises, sensing the heat of the body. and when they come again, i know again this time will be different...

Well its a different thing now for therapy and to make better quality bondage gear again with a guarantee that no store or fetish maker Gives. As alot dont stand by there workmanship as it is a skilled craftsmans that if it makes quality gear of the best leather and hardware it should out last your slave or submissive. If it doesnt it has failed. So it guarantees to always replace free of charge restraints and other bondage gear it makes. It see so many out there making quality bondage gear and charging ridiculous prices. It wanted a Pony Harness and the price was Ridiculous $1500. It has to laugh. Well, the 2nd order of it Leather working tools have arrived from Amazon. Give it the third time in it life Rebuilding its Leather making workshop. And in the next fortnight, got a third order that has to go in. And that should see it. Build the tools and the workshop that it needs to start making. What It needs And wants And to rebuild it inventory. it uses the highest grade harness US latigo leather as used in the Saddle and Harness industry on the market and heavy metal hardware, Post screw rivets and with reinforced with leather sewing machine for extra strength for secure durablity.

A Raven and a Wolf   He sat, kneeling really, slowly panting, under a soft leather hood. It was laced tightly, almost preventing his every breath. And in the darkness, under the hood, he strained his ears to hear whether she was near, or far. He inhaled, trying to find her scent, but could only smell the leather of the hood. He tried to feel if he could sense her presence closer, but nothing. The air was still. His mouth, dry from nerves, with lips slightly agape, didn't utter a sound.   So he waited, arms bound, shoulder back, chest forward and exposed. Uncomfortably upright.    She sat before him, watching him lazily, like how a cat does with a weakened mouse, very still. A hunter and their prey. She was breathing evenly to hide the excitement pooling inside of her. Hands encased in buttery soft lamb skin gloves, the color of his hood, the color of her whip, the color of blood. The color of her lips. A red so beautiful. Her eyes sparkled at the idea of it coming from his body. Beautiful and broken. She could sense he was searching for her; a slight turn of the head, listening, perhap? Leaning forward gently; trying to smell? Like a dog, she thought, just like a dog. And she sat there far longer than even she desired to see how far this "dog" would go.    "Bark, dog" she commanded in a low voice  And he barked immediately, no hesitation. She pulled back her hand and slapped him, his head jerked, body lurched, chest rising and falling rapidly. A noticeable difference between his legs. There it was again, a hunger to bite into him. Taste his blood. Consume him. But only silence. No whimper, no moan, not a sound escaped him. She wondered if he were bleeding from his cute little mouth. Again she slapped him. Softer than the first, a loving caress, bits of his hair peeked through the laces of the hood and she wanted to grip them and tear them away. Would he let her? Perhaps.    The next slap, and the one after, opposite hand, and he fell forward just enough that his face touched her thighs only separated by the hood and her own stockings. The rule was he wasn't allowed to touch her unless she said. This was a broken rule, however accidental. She stood and let him slump forward in a stupor, supported only by the tension of the rope tied to the foot of the bed.   Bark, dog. Dog. He barked.  Up, dog, and he returned to his previous place, exposed and upright. She stepped forward, the toe of her shoe pressing down on the sensitive flesh of the head of his dick. She crushed it gently until he sat even straighter. She held his head in her left hand, caressed it gently, leather on leather. The smell intoxicating her. Raising her right hand she slapped him again, over and over until her hand grew hot even under the glove. Was he bleeding? She hoped so. She hoped to kiss him and bite his lips and taste his blood. She wished she could see his eyes, dazed, glassy, far away. She caressed his head. And whispered, "you may touch me" and he pressed his face into her hands, her thighs. Still no sound, he was so silent.   "Bark, my handsome boy" and he barked, hoarse and painful as she encircled his neck with her hands. This was his idea, he had inspired in her a lust for choking him until he was nothing and drifting away in the ether. She squeezed, her hands perhaps too small, until he gurgled. She wondered if his eyes were open or if they were dimmed. The hood obscured so much. She squeezed until he seemed to go limp. And she let him. Shoulders yanked uncomfortably under his weight.    He awoke. Arms aching, face hot but no longer enclosed by the hood. He could see her though his vision lacked acuity. She was standing over him, wrapped in pink except for gloves. He yearned for them then. Yearned for them to be around his neck, feeling the bones of her fingers threatening his very life. He wanted to ask for it, for her to choke him, strangle him, but knew it was to her whim that he obeyed. Obeisance was her pleasure. He looked at her, eyes soft, left cheek swollen, lips split ever so slightly and she leaned down and kissed him, sliding her tongue over the drying blood. He kissed her back, gentle, but hungry.    Her kiss was soft but grew more passionate until she bit him and suckled his mouth. Did he love this part of her? The softness before the sting.  She broke the kiss. Her lipstick perfect but her mouth and chin stained crimson with what must have been his blood. "Open your mouth, I'd like to try" she said softly. A shy whisper. So unlike the command to "Bark".  He angled himself upright, head back, lips parting painfully like a little bird. She leaned forward and let her own saliva pool in her mouth and slowly let it fall into his. He shuddered. His excitement excited her and she kissed him again before he could even swallow but this time it was wild and wet. Her saliva all over his mouth, chin, cheeks.    "I have to whip you now, are you ready?" She asked and he nodded. A question was not a command to speak. Dogs do not speak unless commanded to speak. She untied him and his body fell forward. Not used to its old range of motion. His limbs buzzed from having sat in one position for too long. He wondered about how much time had passed. Funny thing, time. Why did it matter now when he was in the moment with her.   Without the hood he realized he could smell her. A warm sweet scent, perhaps arousal. And he thought then about being forced to please her like they talked about in passing, forced until exhausted and even beyond. After play. Her, in her pink, looked like candy and he wanted to lick her. She must be sweet.      She looked down at him and his face was peculiar, his mind was somewhere else and he looked rather cute. But she was jealous at the idea that his mind wasn't on her and she kicked him in the stomach to bring him back to her. He coughed and curled up as she walked to retrieve her whip, preparing for the next step in her courtship.  "Up" she commanded and he got to his feet, winded, bruised. Arms still behind his back. She released them to tie them around the post of the bed. The bed post being the whipping post, isn't it somehow romantic, she thought.    "If you need me to stop, tell me, I won't be gentle otherwise" she said to him, her mouth on his ear. His hair was slicked down with sweat and he smelled musky. She liked his smell. She bit his earlobe and stepped back a couple of feet and threw the whip. Lash after lash until he tried moving away. Pulling at the post until it creaked. She wanted him to cry but he only moaned and groaned, no tears. Just a brow drenched in sweat as his back went from fine pink lines to slowly oozing wounds. If he didn't give her tears then she would have blood.  He pulled desperately as if trying to escape her and she threw the whip furiously, lashing whatever she could reach, his ass, thighs, calves, neck, even the back of his head. The post groaned as if it would break under the strength of him trying to flee.   "Do you want to get away from me?" She asked. His breathing heavy, labored, his body wobbled as blood poured from him, he shook his head no, weakly, and looked over his weeping shoulders with hazy eyes. Finally he spoke, a clear and clean "No, ma'am" from his lips now dry from mouth breathing, swollen from having been bitten and slapped.   The no rang through her body and she leapt at him and kissed and licked his mouth, his shoulders, his back. Barely containing her arousal, her hips moving in slow circles. She was so hungry.&n

February 9, 2024 - Sextoy69 visits when he gets off work to get ME off !     This is probably going to be a quick story. But things were a bit different today.   Normally when sextoy69 comes over for a visit he comes immediately after work. We head upstairs and he strips naked in the bedroom. Yes, there are a few guys that don't strip immediately upon arrival at the house, and he is one of them. Normally I play with his ass for a while with my fingers and toys while he is on all fours with his face and chest smashed into the bed mattress and his ass high in the air.   This time instead of arriving at 3:00, he had scheduled a bit later, at 5:30 today. When he arrived (promptly at 5:30) I asked if he worked overtime. He explained he went out and had a few beers with some coworkers after work. We headed upstairs and he took a detour to the bathroom as he often does. I heard him peeing for what sounded like an eternity. Peeing and peeing and peeing. I would imagine, from what I heard, he had about 3 beers. LOL   When he came into the bedroom, he was probably prepared to "assume the position" so that I could play with his ass. but I was already laying naked, face up, on the bed. I told him to come around to this side of the bed, climb up on all fours, and suck my cock as I play with his ass. I'm not sure if we've ever been in this position before. But I thought let's give it a try. Immediately after stripping naked he climbed on the bed and started sucking my cock.   Read the rest of the story at www.SirKel.top

OK, so here's the second installment of my new profile: Still here? Still interested? Now on to the kink stuff...## ***Kink information***### **Things that i know about myself that i want more of in my life****my rubber self**I enjoy wearing layers of loose fitting full enclosure rubber, with a hood, gloves, gasmask, and socks. If you are dressed in any amount of rubber, that would be great. I'm happy to be with people wearing all kinds of clothing and gear, or nothing at all. I will be in full enclosure rubber myself.**My submissive self:**i am looking to become a rubber gimp or drone slave, i.e. used like a slave and stored like a gimp. i want to try out & test myself & to see if i do want to be a gimp slave in reality as compared to fantasy. i have lots of solo experience, but very little in-person real-life experience, so a lot of what i want to do is not informed my real-world experience.As your rubber gimp slave i want to to provide protected and safe sexual service to my dominant person while in layers of full enclosure rubber, gagged, blindfolded, leashed, cuffed, plugged and entubed & also some or all of the following: bondage, behaviour control, breath control, piss play, cart & dressage pony play, being controlled, financial domination & doing housework.my attitude is that bondage is about training and getting used to wearing rubber gear on a longterm basis, and so i am seeking to serve you by being forced into and kept in rubber gear, and learning to safely overcome the challenges that come with that. However more importantly, the full rubber gear is a means to an end where i can much better service You.i want to make Your life easier. i will pull my own weight by working in Your home or outside it while in rubber to earn income for the household. i am not no-limits rubber slave.---**As an equal:** I am into long sessions of mutual cuddling, kissing, body stroking in layers of heavy rubber. I am really interested to try living as rubber drones in a hive with contracts and rules that govern the behaviour of the hive and its members, such as these concepts and contracts by [Unit03](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164): - [The concept of a rubber hive: an introduction](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6373426)- [Rubber Hive Contracts (or other kink between equals)](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6412980)- [Model Short-Term Hive Contract](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6413413)## **Limits**Explicit and enthusiastic consent is the sexiest thing. Don't fucking touch me without asking, even (especially!) if I'm in full rubber, naked or wearing something skimpy. Ask nicely and you might be surprised.My limits:-     no blood-     no needles-     no intentionally broken skin-     no scat-     no vomit-     no tickling-     no rimming (giving)-     no marks visible to the vanilla world-     no permanent marks-     no blows to the head-     no sudden neck/head movements-     no sudden loud noises-     no oral, vaginal or anal sex without a condom.## **Safer sex**Asking for (or assuming!) unprotected sex when we are new or casual play partners is a red flag.### **Things that i don't know about myself, and i want to explore to see if i want more in my life**i knew from an early age that i was into rubber. However, there are some bdsm activities that aren't easily compatible with rubber, and so i have never explored them. In 2023, i am realising that i want to try these to see if i also like them, and that if i want to try them, that i have to take off my rubber skin (which is a bit scary). This is what i'd like to try:- sensation play- impact play (whips, floggers, paddles, spanking)- rope bondage- wax play- high protocol- oral and vaginal sex with people of all genders

Just a note — I'm probably not going to gel very well with other sub trans girls, but I'm happy to share pics and chat about our desires, so please don't hesitate to contact me if you like what you see in my profile.   Also, again a note for trans Dommes — I like Mommy Dommes who know that D/s goes both ways. I will happily fluff your ego and make you feel great about yourself if you can treat me like a baby girl who needs pampering, attention and love just in the same way. I will be as obedient to you as I can without doing anything immoral or illegal, of course, and I'll flatter, obey, pump up your ego, and be sweet and submissive to you just like a subbie baby girl or DMlg sub should be.   Same applies if you're an exceptionally good Daddy or Mommy cis Dom/me. I see so many selfish and egotistical profiles from most Dommes which are a huge turn off — the lecturing about throwing away your ego as a sub will work out long-term when you're ready to throw away your female or male ego as a Dom/me, and realize that you're serving your subs needs like they serve yours. They're your priority too, and you need to make them feel good about themselves serving you if you want them there forever. A young and horny boy or girl will serve you to get their needs for some sexual satisfaction fulfilled, but they'll be tired of your galaxy-sized ego saying that you're always right and they're always wrong just because of your relationship dynamics.A similar idea for subs: Please don't ever neglect the need for aftercare for Dom/mes too. They need it as much as you, and they're probably less confident, powerful and in control than you think. It's still a roleplay in a sense, and they have the same doubts as you about their performance. Before or after you get confirmation from them that you were a good boy/girl, be sure to puff up and stroke their egos too and tell them how you loved serving them, that they're a great Daddy/Mommy, etc. Please use your imagination. If your owner isn't good at communicating this back, be sure to ask them for an ego boost and validation as well. Don't stay with them if they become selfish and demanding, though, this is not a one-way street. You have valid needs and you need to ask for them to be fulfilled, too.

  A Quick Disclaimer:  I don't exactly "love" some of the things I claim to enjoy, like corner-time for instance (which is dread... mostly) Corner-time is one of the things that seems particularly effective in explicitly reminding me someone else is in-charge, which weakens my knees. (Un)fortunately (for me), I also find it deeply humiliating, but *this* side-effect means it is something that gives me "the feels" too. Just 'being reminded' such things are even a possibility is enough to get a reaction from me - for a while at least So, it's not something I 100% *want*... I mean, I'd rather just be "into" stuff that I don't find quite so humiliating and that don't leave me unable to respond with a witty retort (or sometimes with Any Words At All). But things that don't embarrass me and don't trigger the push-pull (aka 'my' version of a panic-boner) don't seem to have quite the same effect It's total agony; to crave the things I dread, but it's also where I find my bliss So, I guess my attraction to the very things that especially give me "the feels" is a bit more nuanced than can be conveyed by:  X = a thing I "love", but CS doesn't have a 'push-pull'/'nutcase-option', as far as I'm aware... And though I realise the site might break as a consequence, I still wish it were possible to both love-AND-hate a single fetish, b/c that how us contradictory people tend to operate (unless I am truly an outlier-amongst-outliers, in which case... *nothing to see here* o.O)  Anyway.  ~ Thank-you for coming to my Ted Talk ~  

All Slaves expect to be used.  All Slaves expect to be punished  . All Slaves must learn Master decides everything about it's life of servitude. All Slaves must learn to be thankful   of Master's guidance and usage of His property. Those are the only "expectations" any Slave is allowed. Master might loan Slave to another Master for special training . Master could decide to trade Slave or sell Slave.   . Slave goes where it is taken and told to go. Slave NEVER questions Master or Master's authority to make all decisions concerning Slave. Slave is Slave. 

I just made chocolate chip cookies topless. Here's what happened.  I'm on a health kick (the cookies aren't for me). The other night I made lentil bolognese and it called for red wine. Just a little. I'm not a wine drinker but I do cook with it. So, smidge of wine into the pot, cork the bottle. Google tells me I only have a few days to finish the bottle, but I can freeze the wine. Pull out a small ice cube tray, pour half the bottle in, stick it in the freezer. And I learned that wine takes a lot longer to freeze than water. I should have known this but I wasn't thinking. I pulled the tray out with the amount of force you would if it were ice. It wasn't ice. Wine all down the front of my shirt. Now, I'm already in the process of making cookies so what do I do? Whip off my shirt and rinse it under cold water to try to get the stain out. Do I go upstairs to get another shirt? Stay with me here, I know I'm topless. But no, I do not. I grab an apron and tie it on. These damn cookies better be delicious. 

The Kink Vending Machine Dec 17, 2017   So, you want to submit. You want to be Topped. You want to find a Dominant Woman to whom to submit, and who will probably Top you.   I get it. I really do. It's just like all other relationships - we need something, and we can only really get it from other people. We want sex. Sexual gratification is possible without other people, but almost everyone agrees that it's not nearly as gratifying as it is WITH someone else. We want love. We can love ourselves, and we can love others, but most of the time, we have a powerful need to receive it from someone else. We want to do… stuff. Sex stuff, relationship stuff, life stuff, and yes, again, some of it can be done by ourselves, but mostly, we want someone to do it with, or to do it TO us. We want a someone. Lots of us want our own special someone, who is OUR someone, and for whom we are THEIR special someone in return. Or at least one of their special someones. And let's face it - sometimes we get lonely. Or we get needy. Or we just really want to do that fucking cool thing RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!!! And then we can get a little…. fixated. That "someone special" starts to look more and more like "someone who will" and then "anyone who will" and then to just "anyone."   But almost NONE of us want to be "just anyone" to someone else. "I didn't get their name" is the joke we see all over to denote a space filler, a warm body, without memorable characteristics. Not special at all, in other words. Forgettable. Not important enough to bother with as an actual person. Just a means to an end.   Completely interchangeable with any other "anyone" we can get hold of when we need one.   About as special as a vending machine.   You need a coke, you go find a machine, pop in your dollar, soda pops out, and you move on. The machine? You barely noticed it when you were feeding it money. You sure as shit don't value it. And you forget it the second you pop that can.   Not flattering.   Here's the crux of the problem - if you will kneel to anyone who lets you, then when you kneel to me, you aren't kneeling TO ME - you're just kneeling because you like to kneel. It's the same as telling me that I'm no one special, and I could be swapped out with anyone and you'd be fine with that. It makes everything I am … nothing. Meaningless. Worthless.   Well, to you, at least.   All the years I spent working on learning how to communicate in a healthy, assertive, honest and open way… they don't matter. All the work I put into learning what makes a good Dominant? The same. All of the time I took educating myself on what makes a bad Dominant? Who cares? Any skills I built because they would give my submissive a better experience? Nada. All of the things that make me Dominant, or a good lover, or a good partner, hell, that make me a good person? Not worthy of notice.   Everything I am, everything I've made myself, everything I value about myself, has no value to someone like that.   They aren't looking at my profile and thinking "DAMN this person sounds amazing!" They aren't reading my writings and falling a little bit in love with my mind. They aren't seeing what I post about how Dominants and Submissives should treat each other and wishing that could be them.   That person… the one who kneels to anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat? THAT person saw a pretty face, got a woody, (or let's be honest, had a woody before they even logged on and are just looking for something to wank it to) and dropped to their digital knees because that’s what they want out of it all - to feel grovel-ish, to play pretend without admitting that to the other person, to rub one out to their fantasy of a Dominant Woman who would do to them the things that they saw in some porn vid. That person is 100% focused on getting something they want. They don't care where they get it, or even about the quality of what they get. They want what they want, and everything else is irrelevant

lyrics Some lyrics from the song all the ways i can die by the band arrows in action Self sabotage is an old friend of mine self care just isnt worth the time

Embracing my slumber, I feel as though I'm in a dream  The softness of your caress, has me feeling so serene I want to open my eyes to make sure you are real  I will not venture, because I don't want to interrupt what I feel  The moisture begins to flow as my body loses control  You have me at this point and I will never say no  Relaxation and anxiety are about to collide  Multi orgasmic pleasure, I will never hide  WOW!

              Pop That: Unpacking the Brat, Bimbo, and Babygirl Archetypes in Lightskinkeisha’s Anthem some people would look at this song called pop that by the rapper lightskinkeisha as just a ratchet trashy song and move on from there. it is ratchet, but there's more to the picture going on here if you choose to see it.   if you look at the artist lightskinkeisha as a little girl or babygirl this song no longer becomes just a trashy ratchet fun song, but an anthem for an identity within the lifestyle. an anthem of a brat.   the song itself is bombastic and dance y and very bubblegum gritty. but if you take the song and put it through a transpose app or use a tool to transpose it and make the pitch of her voice higher and the speed of the song faster, it transforms it even into another identity if you choose to see...the bimbo.   and so we get the three way combo with a simple song pop that...   babygirl   bimbo   brat   the great thing too is you can look at it individually from each of these lenses, or you can work on seeing it through two at a time, or you can look at it with all three.   people sometimes forget that while someone can be a babygirl that is also a bimbo and a brat, that just because you are a brat it doesn't mean that you are a bimbo, and that some bimbos are also little girls too. i personally don't really live in this world most of the time. but sometimes i have a bit of a brat behavior to me behind the keyboard as the writer. but i like to write about various sides of what the identity of a little girl is. and when i consume media, i see the different sides of what a babygirl is, even if it's not directly relatable to me.   because this is a fun silly pop bop there isn't much to decipher from lyrics wise. while i use esoteric and spiritual references for pop media i don't pull things out of thin air just for the content. however, there are some stanzas' i'd like to focus on.   Big Bank Beisha, bitch Tre Trax, I think we got one, haha It's Trax season bruh   Throw it back, watch me throw it back Got my Daisy Dukes on, I don't know how to act Walk up in the building, make them niggas spend a bag Ho, I been it, that's why you bitches really mad, hold on   when it's a song that is over the top the themes are going to be over the top. one might be initially put off at the focus on her getting men to spend lots of money on her but if you reframe it in the bimbo/brat perspective it makes more sense. she's an exaggerated version of femininity, she's talking about the guy in an exaggerated version of masculinity. and if you see it in a brat frame it's also her testing her boundaries with the guy. the entire rambunctiousness is all about how far can she go before getting 'caught'. how much can she push before it's too much. how wild can she be before she tips it over and breaks it. i see these less about a materialism, and less about superficialness and more about brashness, boundaries, bodaciousness, and crass. especially in a closed relationship it's seeing how smart can you get before you consensually get punished, smacked, talked back to, reprimanded.   I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) Fuck it up, bitch Fuck it up, bitch   I'ma throw that ass back and shake it in a circle (damn) Got your man lookin', yeah, he like the way I work it He gon' blow some racks on me because he know it's worth it (blow it) Body snatched with a face to match, call me perfect Daisy Dukes on, bend it over like Ms. Parker (hey Ms. Parker) Pretty redbone, bitch, I'm badder than a toddler Drop it to the floor and make 'em spend their last dollar All this milk that I'm shakin' make the boys wanna holler   while you could say that lightskinkeisha's reference to badder than a toddler is randomized if you look at her bigger pieces of work it makes sense why when this comes out i squeal with joy. it's a reference of being seen. it's an aesthetic, it's a insider's throwback to if you know you know. she has many songs that reference daddy for the male partner she sings about. and she often references the dynamics of the songs with a power dynamic power scale going on there. an uneven power balance by choice where it's not an equal relationship.   Throw it back, watch me throw it back Got my Daisy Dukes on, I don't know how to act Walk up in the building, make them niggas spend a bag Ho, I been it, that's why you bitches really mad, hold on   I'ma pop that,   I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) Fuck it up, bitch Fuck it up, bitch   Booty, make it bounce, I'ma drop it (drop it) Shake it so fast, I can't stop it (stop it) Make him wanna hit it like a Bop It (twist it) Bust it wide open, I'ma pop it   I'ma look back at it while I shake it on his lap (lap) Got a big ole booty, you can give that shit some dap My pussy taste like Fiji while your pussy taste like tap (Fiji) When he slap that booty, bitch, it's gonna bounce back (haha)   Throw it back, watch me throw it back Got my Daisy Dukes on, I don't know how to act Walk up in the building, make them niggas spend a bag Ho, I been it, that's why you bitches really mad, hold on   I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) Fuck it up, bitch Fuck it up, bitch   I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it u

Oh yes, I wonder          What she's doing tonight Oh-oh, I wonder what she's doing tonight..............................      Tommy Boyce 1968

Hmm let's see it is now 2022, so a lot have time has passed between my last real post. So many things have gone on in my life since then. In 2019 I took part in the World Transplant Games in the UK. That was a hell of a trip. Spent a few days in London, then went north to Yorkshire, to the land of James Herriot, Castle Howard, and my friends farm. I spent 5 days helping take care of their herd of pigs. Can't wait to go back. I return to London for my last 9 days and ate great food, saw amazing things, and got to see New Japan Pro Wrestling do their first show in England. Got home just before second year started. my next games are next year in Perth Australia. I will be cycling I will have a 5k time trial, a 20km team time trial, and another 30k time trial. Boy my legs are going to hate me. I had a pair of custom painted shoes done just for the games. I am hoping to be able to get a racing suit and a helmet wrapped in the same pattern.  i am hoping to spend a bit of time in Tokyo on my way to Australia. Maybe spend 5 days. 

It's irresponsible of me to remain a mystery for too much longer, so here is my first journal entry. I am excited to have a potential play partner, a wonderfully sexy sub-leaning male switch. That means I'm not actively search in for a partner right now. I am open to meeting mentors and making friends.  I have some scattered experience as a service top and bottom, but I feel ready at this point in my life to explore my dominant side more.  I absolutely love seeing the male body tied up. There's something about a man tied down or tied up, completely helpless and at my mercy. I have a dream of assembling a little album of beautiful shibari starring my sweet switch as the muse. I appreciate any recommendations of good shibari resources. Messages from enthusiastic riggers and rope bunnies are more than welcome.  I'm also curious about male orgasm control, I'm looking for some fun games to play involving edging or bondage.  If you're still reading I suppose it's fair to describe myself a little. I'm a natural redhead with a soft body. I have a very specific taste in men, some of you know what, of which I have an insatiable appetite for. I'm sensual- I love to enjoy good food and music and great sex. I'm not a very strict Domme and I'm not a very obedient sub, but I think I make up for it by being a pretty good time! I'm writing this to round out my profile and to record the start of my journey as a Domme. If you feel compelled to message me after reading this, you're welcome to, but please don't be boring, I have to be selective about who I reply to now. -MM

I have been on this site for years and see the same profile of ladies seeking a someone like myself. Contact is made, profiles viewed yet nothing. occassionally someone says hi and we exchange messages, and then nothing and i find that often times the dead air is asking for verification on where they live or interest that they have already posted in their profiles.  So many ladies want to be in charge, they advertise they are dominant seeking a male sub/slave, thye want to take the lead, yet nearly all wait for the guy to make first contact and when it happens they ghost or get upset that an I was not dotted or T not crossed. I realize the ladies may get slammed by a lot of players espcially on a freee site like this one. But if you reallyh want to be in control, ignore the players and seek out us real guys, make the first move and follow through. You seek perfectionn from the first hello but that is impossible for anyone including the ladies making contact.  We are two adults seeking to meet connect and build a relationship, if the only connection is BDSM the connection will be lost quickly. So my request is to stop searching for the ideal submssive and instead focus on building a relationship with said person and through your guideance and training help us /me to be perfct for you 

Life doesn’t give you breaks. The echoing silence of the house after work is a painful reminder of the voids that have been created in the past few years. James's memories are still fresh, like an unfinished story that replays in my mind every time I find a moment of quiet. The vibrant life he introduced me to, our moments of intimacy in the world of BDSM, and the painful void of his loss due to COVID. But this year, just when I thought I was gathering myself up, learning to stand again, another wave hit. Dad's gone. It's been four agonizing weeks since his heart failed him, and my world crumbled, yet again. Coming home, I see mom trying to cope, trying to smile for me, but her eyes betray the pain. As much as she leans on me, I lean on her. Between the bustle of the law firm, my weekend beauty appointments, and the humdrum of daily chores, it's these stolen quiet moments with mom that have become my solace. We share memories, of dad's quirks, of his love for spicy food, of the times he'd dance with me on old Bollywood numbers. this city feels so different without James and now, without dad's laughter ringing through the corridors of our house. The weekends are a . Between the shopping, the laundry, and the cooking, there's this constant underlying grief that seems to tag along. Sometimes, during my beautician shifts, I wonder what's next for me? Would I find love again? Or perhaps another purpose? My heart feels so brittle, afraid to hope, afraid to dream. Yet, with every sun that sets, there's a hope for a new dawn, a new beginning. I believe James and dad would want me to find happiness, to thrive, to make them proud. And so, I promise myself to take each day as it comes, to find little moments of joy and to cherish the love that I've been so lucky to experience.

He drops his head to his chest, but then slowly nods.  "Thank you for your honesty, baby." I continue to explain how, just because of the pandemic I had not deviated from my desire of finding someone else and that now that people are comfortable meeting again, I would resume my search. He kept looking at the floor between his legs and I had to keep telling him to look me in the eye. This was the moment I had been holding back on for too long. I could feel my anticipation building in my chest, bursting to be heard. It took all of my strength to stop me from just ting out what I wanted to say, but I understood the gravity of what we were discussing and knew that was not the way to go about it. A good Dominant wants her submissive to be on the same page as her, not only willing to have his limits pushed, but wanting it. I find the psychology involved in convincing M that this is what he wants, intoxicating. It is what I consider the true essence of behavior modification.  I compose myself and everything starts to flow out naturally, I feel my power. This is the moment of truth. M and I have discussed cuckolding quite a bit and he is granted sex very infrequently and has learned not to even ask, but this is the first time I am going to extiguish any hope he may have of it happening again. I know this is a big deal. I explain in a very sweet and delicate tone how I love him dearly with all my heart, but that he would never have sex with me in the traditional sense again, ever. He stares up at me unblinking. I repeat it so that it would sink in, "M, we have arrived at this point, please understand that you will never, ever have sex with me again." He looks heartbroken, I want to scoop him up and hold him, but I must continue. I tell him how I know he could never satisfy me and in a way, I didn't want him to. I tell him what he already knows, which is that I have been driving this lifestyle because this is what I want. I tell him that there may have been a time when I saw him as a toy to be used sexually, but I just can't even picture that anymore. I tell him how I have always loved the dynamic we have and especially now more than at any other time in the past.  "M, this has always been my goal, you must have always known that." he nods with sad eyes.  I love the control, I love completely owning him in a mothering sense, I love his submission and most of all his helpless obedience and emasculation. I tell him he could never go back, that this was how I want him and how I love him. I can see my words sinking in as he stares at me. The shield of his pacifier gag is rather big and I can't tell if I see anger, fear, or acceptance in his face as he sits there quietly. I continue. "I love you M...but we committed to this lifestyle a long time ago TOGETHER and I just cannot keep indulging you sex when I get nothing out of it. Indulging you in such a way is not good for your headspace and I know you know that. I’m in need of the feelings that I used to get from men who were not my little boy. Yes, our dynamic has me almost constantly aroused...the power ugh..., but masturbation no longer satisfies me and the idea of having sex with what we've helped you become just ruins my powerful headspace."  He looks very sad and is pleading with his eyes, but at the same time I can see he is rocking on his butt slightly fidgeting (he thinks he's being discreet but the crinkle of his diaper is unmistakable). He rocks in his diaper like that when he is aroused and trying to get some feeling to his chaste bits; it's his “poker tell.” This rocking is the final indication I need that I am making the right decision. I stand up, get very close to his side and have him hug my leg while I rub the top of his head.  I tell him that I can tell by his rocking that he must accept everything I'm saying and that a verbal response wasn't needed. He looked up at me suddenly, still rocking and holding my legs, with big eyes, pleading eyes. I smile, "accept it baby, it will be easier, you don't even need to speak. Just nod your head and show me you accept what I've said." Still looking at me, he closed his eyes and drops his chin to his chest. With a little more force I say, "M, open your eyes, look at me and nod your head." 

Another day another experience. the rollercoaster of life as a cd/sissy has we looking and trying pain. one day this week it was ordered (another online relationship started up) to place nipple clamps on and they were left on all day for what like 6 hours. nipples are even nore sore now days later and each hour i have to pull them hard out to keep them sore. i love it!! Then yesterday was ordered to tie my cock and balls up with 2 shoestrings., Having never done that before well not for ages anyway, was rather new. But my once done and they were all secured. one under the gland, the other around balls. well the feeling was intense to say the least.  then all covered with a satin red thong panties, was so sexy. working from home was never so much fun!! that was left on for again 6 hours. once off there were marks all over them yet so intense a feeling. never felt like that before. was so intense a feeling inward more than needy. what next it wonders and hope. should it become a pain slut to someone?!

Hello everyone...  subMeghan here. As rerquired by my dom, as I type this I am sitting here naked, except for my dog collar and glasses...  what else is new... I had an interesting chat with a user here and I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty terrible submissive.  The problem is that I am a sub for my dom, and only my dom.  I am not your sub.  My dom has directed me to be polite, not submissive, towards you all.  For us it is role playing. So, not only am I not a 24/7 sub, I am not inclined to behave like a sub unless I'm with my dom. So the dilemma for me is, How should I interact with you all?  I've taken the approach that being a sub is like my "job", and that when I'm here, I'm off work.  I'm not working, but perfectly happy to talk about my job. I don't think this approach is working out to well...  and I think that a lot of times my one on one interactions with you all are not satifying. What do you all think?  Should I modify my profile?  If so, what should it say? I'm really interested in what you all think.  Send me a message, and let me knbow what you think?   subMeghan  

Hello there... we're a Dom/sub couple with a strong relationship; we have a history of 10 years so very much comfortable with each other, we are understanding and not new to this dynamic. She is owned by Him but is always submissive.  This being the case, we're seeking a submissive female who would be possessed by both of us or other Dom Male/Females to posses her. We prefer that you live in the GTA or within an hour drive from it, since we will be hosting. We're fun and attractive and would love someone who is looking to lose themselves in an adventure where they can totally explore themselves with us or her. Him 5’10” blue eyes, Medium Build with over 30 years as a Daddy Dom, well endowed, clean and shave, stern but patient, and will answer any questions and concerns you might have. Her 5’10” blue/green eyes, small BBW with over 20 years as a sub, with 40 D’s clean and shaved. Note: Dom Male/Females will have to discuss her limits before the funs starts, all submissive can talk directly with her new subs/Dom’s welcome as we love to teach and help you grow in your roll. If you are interested please email and we will get back to you with a number you can text/talk with us if you like.

I wrote this "Story"   My First Pain Pig I'm a Service Dom. My Dungeon is my playroom, to create pleasurable sensations. I was mid 20's, living the bachelor dream, whoring in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I landed an ok job with Hilton Hotels after graduation. The French Quarter bars stayed open 24/7. It was a place you partied every night. How I survived, 14 New Orleans Mardi Gras is beyond me, they were all real benders, lasting 3+ days. I lived 1/2 Block off Bourbon Street, it doesn't get better than that. It was at Beer Bust Sunday at The Parade Disco, it was 1982 or so. To drum up LOCAL business, The Parade Disco, had a "Tea Party" a beer bust all the beer you could drink from Sunday 5PM until the Kegs went dry. I'm having a "tea party" beer, and a girl walks up to me and asks why I'm dressed in black leather, am I into BDSm? I told her I'm a "leatherman" I like power-exchange, I like to lead, direct, command, suggest. She asked if I enjoyed spanking a girl, and I said yes, and I liked using my belt as well,. We danced, and drank a few beers, and kept chatting. So she grabs my hand and pulls me to the outside balcony, where folks, can actually hear each other talk since the music inside the bars is always loud.. She tells me her friend Freddie whose into BDSm has talked about me He says your known as a fun sadist. He told, me the rumor is, your a creative sadist.. I replied, something like. I'm a service top, I get off when we both get off. I do love mind fucking folks. Could you make me feel and endure pain? Not continuous relentless pain, but Intermittent shearing flashes of pain like strikes from a thin stick, the sting of the hand, or the thud of the belt? I asked, if she had done anything like this before? No, she just listened to all the hot stories her friend Freddie told her, of being a masochist. At some point, I said My safe word is FROG. Say the safe word and she repeated FROG. Good, I also use a safe gesture. I will squeeze your hand TIGHTLY and shake it, you squeeze my hand 2 times, in reply, This reply tells, me all is great, with you. If you fail to give back 2 quick squeezes I will end our playtime. The conversation went something like that, dam, when you get old, sometimes you just got to fill in details you forgot. I pointed from the Parade Disco's Balcony, Thats where I live across the street 800 feet away, the green shuttered walkup apartment.. She said, lets go to your place and play, make me feel real pain. Let me, tell a friend, I'm going to your apartment and I will call them to get picked up later. We walked hand in hand to my apartment. I opened the door to a typical French Quarter "Shot-Gun" apartment, like a boston row house, 25 feet wide and 60 feet long. The living room in front, a half wall jetty between the living room and the small kitchen. A Hallway the first door, the bathroom on the left, the door at the end of the hall, my bedroom and playroom. I had just finished building my "Playroom" I nick named "The Erection Set". (see my profile for photos) I think, my super-power, as a dom is creativity. I think, I give a good mind-fuck. My first rule as a dom was tie them up, to experience the reality of giving up control. Any act of bondage, is a reality of submission, physically felt and experienced. I had a pro-domme "friend" that I would occasionally drink with, at Jewel's Tavern, a Gay Leather Bar. Dex ,loved telling stories of here recent clients. I learned a lot from Mistress Dex! Maybe the most important thing she ever said, Hugo people don't come to Pro-Domme, looking for sex. If submissive's wanted sex they would go to a call girl. Submissives come to a domme to live out a fantasy. The key to a good scene is, living out a fantasy inside a submissives head. That BDSm lesson about Fantasies, was the best lesson I was ever given. The second best lesson Dex shared: Start a BDSm scene extra slow and build up a scene slowly to a climax. I had an established routine, in dom mode, have submissives undress, tie them to the st andrew cross or some other object, like in a chair. Next, introduce sensation play, running my hands everywhere on my tied up subs body. I would take sensation play to the next level, by adding a blindfold, not knowing where I might touch, pinch, pull next. Clothes Pins, are my absolute favorite toy. I have done scenes, with 100s of clothes pins, pinching everywhere on a submissives body. Ear Lobes, Lips, nipples, breasts, inner thighs, nose, the clit, cunt lips, any flap of skin. Clothes Pins are a great beginner activity. Clothes Pins are a great assessment tool as to how much pain a submissive can tolerate, as clothes pins build up pain slowly. I like starting, clothes pin play, with the breasts, many women have sensitive breasts and nipples, plus they can see the clothes pins, the object of pain tormenting them. This is about the time, I light up a cigar. Domination and smoking a cigar seem to go hand in hand for me. I do enjoy, Hot Ash Play. I know, I had 300 clothes pins on her body and she was feeling it but, not moaning or whimpering She wasn't even close to her limits. I like to flick off clothespins, using a cop or ruler or something similar object. I usually progress to Wax play because wax play looks painful, but isn't. Wax play is truly, a great erotic sensation play activity. Its about this point I asked, her to repeat what she came here to experience. I want pain sir. My massage table,doubled as my bondage table, I tied my sub face down, like in a position for a back massage. I would use, rope, saran wrap, tape, straps, to secure a submissive to the massage table. Hand Spankings, are probably the lightest form of corporal punishment. Then, the ruler, belt, fly swatter, rod, hair brush, next in intensity over a hand spanking, next would be the wooden spoon and paddle in pain or intensity, and in my opinion the cane is the most feared implement, used on the ass. . I got to a frat paddle. I think, my sub liked the belt the best, as she seemed to thrash about a bit. She stayed silent as she took the paddle usually a sign that there isn't a lot of eroticism going on. I want a sub moaning, mumbling, swearing, shaking, that tells me they are having a good time. I remember, it was this moment. I did the "CHECK-IN" hand squeeze. I got 2 quick firm hand squeezes back telling me she with me, "all ok". I asked her what she wanted now. What she wanted, was to be used like a hole. To FILL AND OVER FLOW her senses. To feel totally fucked and exhausted. I knew what she needed, she needed to be fisted, to have her cunt stretched out, rubbed raw. In the French Quarter leather community, I was known, as the Dom that enjoyed fisting and handballing. Back in the 1980's vaseline was the fisting lube of choice, crisco if you were handballing. Now, the cool part, when this happened is my playroom was already semi-functional, I had a sling. (see profile photos to see a sling) If your into fisting or handballing you know someone's intensely into fisting, they own a sling. Using a sling, your in a OB/GYN examination table. position, perfect access.