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Insatiable
A work of non-fiction
"How many was that?"It's a common question I ask her, while she lies there panting. Her mascara is running from her watering eyes, as she looks down her naked body at me and tries to think. Her mind, normally sharp as a steel trap, full of important information, years of schooling, and an intelligence that accentuates her sophistication, is mush. She blissfully struggles to form words into coherent sentences. "Twelve or thirteen?" She asks. We had only just begun, and I hadn't even pulled the wand out yet."Are you asking or telling me," I inquire and remind her it's her job to keep track of her orgasms. "But Sir, it's hard when they roll one into the next," she says quietly.I smile.I know she can't keep track of them when things start rolling, and the waves crash one after the next. "We'll just have to keep practicing," I say with a grin.We take a break and enjoy the meal I cooked. I enjoy cooking. Perhaps its the mastery over something so many can only do passingly, that fills me with such satisfaction. It seems to be a pattern in my life. Mastery. Control. Domination. Winning. All similar, yet different.After dinner we play chess. She's a beginner and eager to play. I smile once more. Her eagerness and joy just to play is refreshing. We play two games and I'm never in any danger of losing either one. I make quick work of both games, thinking deeply on how to most effectively secure the win as to not prolong things unnecessarily - I only inflict pain that is desired. And frankly, she deserves my best, she's been a good girl all day.As we put the pieces away, she asks if we can play some more. As mentioned, she has been a good girl all day, so I tell her of course.She has a burning need to be restrained and spanked. I build her anticipation with teasing kisses and deliberately take my time applying the cuffs to her wrists and ankles. I get her into position on the bed and attach the spreader bar to the ankle cuffs, and connect the wrist restraints behind her back.Her beautiful ass now high in the air, her blindfolded head resting on the soft blanketed surface of the bed, I begin administering what she desperately wants and needs.The orgasms begin anew when I use the wand on her clit. Sometimes they crash while my fingers apply pressure to her G-spot, sometimes while I paddle her ass. Unable to close her legs, or reach down to push the wand away, she accepts the orgasms as they well up inside her. Each forced orgasm melts her brain a little more.She's responsive on a primal level - coos and grunts - and has stopped making coherent sounds like words. Her body, mostly limp, is exhausted as it stiffens with her latest orgasm and then relaxes.I ask if she is ready to finish, and she nods slowly. The wand is put away and she counts her final 10 swats, thanking me and asking for another after each.When it's over, we cuddle. I'm still fully clothed and quite content. I tell her what a good girl she was, and how proud of her I am. She thanks me and nuzzles her sweaty form into my embrace.I smile and contemplate.Is she insatiable? She will want more again soon. Thoughts and memories of what I do to her, and how much she desperately craves it, invade her mind and linger while we are apart.Am I insatiable? The sights and sounds of her orgasms are some of my favorite things. I find that want her to experience longer and more intense releases, and for her to know it was at my hands.Perhaps, the truth is we're both insatiable.
open for live in slave
I'm currently looking for a live in submissive service slave to my house. I have many years of experience of "owning", 24/7, TPE but not for longer periods , just play over weekends and for sessions. The thought has grown upon me to actually own a submissive and train her for domestic and sexual services. I have initial ideas of low/medium and high protocol etc.
If you you are curious, let me know and we will take it from there.
/H Are you ready? Because this one chaps my ass. Do you watch Hulu? Have you noticed the ads for hims meds that are for erectile dysfunction? and the ads for hers that are for anxiety disorders? Let's pause for a moment. The number one concern for this company is that men's dicks are working and women's brains are under control. What about his anxiety? What about her sexual dysfunctions? More women have trouble with orgasms than men, but there isn't a pill for that. Why? You know what the top medical issues are for men? Heart disease, diabetes, and stroke. For women? Heart disease, breast cancer, and cervical or ovarian cancer. Hmm, what's missing? You know what's missing? Wilfred fucking Brimley telling you to eat some oatmeal. The more nonfiction I ingest, the more I believe that women should run the world. No more pissing contests, all the kids would have food, and we'd have one massive war of all wars and then it would be done because we are ruthless and loving creatures. I'm kidding, but I'm also not. Pay attention to what you're seeing. Ask yourself these questions... What's the story? What's the other untold story? Who has the power? You'll see emerging patterns and maybe even want to join my army. And to that I say start soldiering in your own backyard and fight misogyny in your circle of friends. Use your male privilege to help balance the scale. Ethical BDSM, an interesting concept and I enjoy chewing on this a bit.
Examples:
A supposed vocational slave offers their self. They present a wild origin story and present day scenario for their enslavement to you. Later it is determined the so called slave is a liar and a fraud who has shared false information and received only truth from you.
Now imagine this slave was infact already enslaved, no way out, a prisoner for all intents and purposes to another. The slave is given leave by their Mistress to 'play' on Collar as a means of entertainment and or even as a cruelty or punishment. The Mistress can read and or respond to any email from you she chooses or she may not. However, she does read and lead her slave deeper into the deception. The slave has been instructed to not expose his Mistress.
Is the slave responsible for being a liar and fraud? The slave is to obey, afterall.
What does this say about the Mistress? She is well within her rights to have her slave behave as she desires, yet what she asks her slave to do is an affront to another, it V I O L A T E S. She has directed a deception.
Is this ethical behavior on her part? Does anyone care?
***
Take Masters who train a slave out of being able to act on self preservation. Lets say they want to test this and they command the slave lay out their arm to be run over with their car. The slave obeys, bones are broken and the slave has no further feeling in that side. It is within their right to do so, yet what could possibly be the reasoning behind such an act? What is ethical about training a slave to do something which causes harm to their self or another?
I've come across the notion of supremicists within this realm, on opposing sides of the tracks, who justify dismantling another human being in an effort to degrade them beyond all else. Training a slave to submit to all manner of what can only be considered to be torture. Perhaps they believe one human is less human than another. Perhaps they have some demons of their own to work through. Or perhaps they are uneducated or scaredy cats or they themselves brainwashed with outdated beliefs since birth.
Is this ethical behavior and do we really care, as a group, society or a people?
Some of this sounds like corrupted power to Me, yet who am I to judge?
" Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."
Just because we can do something, does that mean we are not accountable for doing it? Such fine lines we dance between in the theatre of our likes and loves. Of course, ultimately it is up to those involved to determine what is right and wrong, for the course. The same can be said for any of life's avenues. Humans have the right to do unto another if permitted. Humans have the right to allow another to do unto them.
Does this also mean one human or a group of humans have the right to violate another? To decieve or to manipulate or to mutilate and how does one determine where the line in the sand is drawn or even is there sand?
Where do ethics come into play or do they? Surely we see every day, examples of our global society grappling with the concept of ethics in everything we do.
By permitting 'each to his or her own' are we not in essence saying, "I don't want you to tell Me what to do so I wont tell you what to do?"
I wonder how this makes us better, or if it even matters. Perhaps we are too wounded or too neglected, too needful or too out of control to embrace andor be embraced by ideas of greatness.
Perhaps the final frontier is indeed paying attention to our mental health.
I believe the difference between a slave and a submissive is in the consent. I believe in consensual slavery and that a Master/Owner has the final say. I also believe in emotional intelligence and in ethics.
I'm not sure emotional intelligence or ethics really matter in the grand scheme of things, yet they matter to Me and as with all things, in degree.
What if the determining factor for whether good or not good prevails in the world is held in the balance of the scales of how many people believe in good and how many believe in not good? How many practice good and how many practice greed, deception, intolerance, bullying?
Imagine if what you believe, is what will happen.
There is a reason I don't mention my father often. Yes, I have father issues. Yes, it has helped shape who I am and what I try to overcome and who I try to be and not be. Let's talk about that. About him. If psychological family philosophy isn't of interest you may want to skip this one.
My father is a selfish, self centered, chauvanistic bully. Always has been, and he has no idea that he is. A lot of excuses have been made for his behaviors. He grew up doted on, his father was the same, blah blah blah, excuses. Now, I've known for some time that I am both more intelligent and emotionally aware than all of my parents. Still, I think people should recognize their own behaviors and adjust accordingly. Silly expectations, that's on me.
He makes me feel like a second class citizen. My opinion doesn't matter, my thoughts aren't worth paying attention to, he is right and I am wrong. It has created a lot of issues for me going all the way back to when I was a little PPC. Everything is a confrontation. It's never a question of curiosity, it's always a derogatory statement in the form of a question with a side of judgment and attitude. And it gets my back up. So I shoot back. Most people do not. I can't help it. And I know it just makes it worse because he won't back down for anything and won't see beyond needing to be the loudest. I'm trying to do this while feeling like a second class citizen and a lifetime of being dismissed, and I fumble a lot but I'm trying to stand up for myself and stand up to him and his opinions. It's scary difficult. It takes a lot out of me. It carves emotional scars a little deeper than they are.
I can honestly say that he has had girlfriends I would have traded him in for and if he died tomorrow I'd very likely be okay with it. I'm not heartless. I do a lot for him, I try to be a good daughter even though he's not been a very good father. I've come to terms with that fact. It can't be changed. He wouldn't own up to it if confronted. It is what it is. It took a long time to come to that.
An entire Thanksgiving meal just for the two of us since the rest of the parents couldn't be here. I ruined it at least three times, according to him. And my kitchen is too cluttered. And I need to do this and that. And I wait on him, bring him things, clean up after him, and stop talking when he ignores me for scrolling on his phone. I both wish and would never wish for you to actually feel this. It's so heavy on my brain, on my heart.
He left this morning and I am elated. I have a whole weekend to recover. To put my house back together. To erase him from my life until Christmas, when he will buy me things he likes without thinking about what I like or asking what I could use or looking at my wish list created for this very purpose, and I'll pretend to ooh and ahh and hope there are gift receipts. Prick. What Is she doing?
Dear reader, I’ve been told that I can drone on about these things but for lifestylers, the minutia of it all is fun to read about. I had a lot of things to do to set this scene up. By this time, there were groups of people from the convention walking around and looking at all the play areas there. There was a throne room, a cage, various crosses, spanking benches, bondage tables and the like. It was a big play space with lots of equipment to use. There I am, in the back, quietly setting up my scene. I’m still in street clothes but I’m getting some attention from passersby. I know where everything is so I’m just doing my thing and getting into the subspace.
First, I adjust the lighting. The suspension station had this big overhead light fixture which I don’t need and so I have to turn it off. To do this, I had to grab this very long pole device which is used to change lightbulbs in tall areas and use it to unscrew the blub so it goes out. I prefer the eerie look of a darker area because it reminds me of the scary dungeons you see in the movies. People are watching me now, not sure about what I’m doing.
Next, I roll up the Oriental rug placed underneath the chain hoist of the suspension station which exposes the bare concrete floor beneath it and place it away. I then screw in two eyebolts into the recessed mounts in the floor and attach two pieces of chain to each eyebolt. These will be for my ankles. I place two large black light fixtures on either side of the area and turn them on.
Lastly, I replace the 2ft spreader bar attached to the chain hoist with a 4ft one I brought and attach two suspension cuffs to them. Everything has been measured out and I’m just about ready. I just had to get the management to play some Enigma on the stereo system. By now, a group of people are standing and watching. My friends, who’ve seen this before, find places to sit so they have a good view. Time to strip. wheres the pain
Where the pain i need to strive in this world i need pain to feel alive the marks arent there wheres the pain the pain that takes me to cloud 9 here we are no pain no marks am i still breathing am i where i need to be begging for pain this is all confusing why do i strive on pain how did i end up this way Master i feel like breaking down i need the pain i need the guidance you give me your hand around my throat the pain you inflict upon your property where is the pain cause this causing withdrawals i need the pain i need you i am nothing without you where oh where is the pain i want to feel the heat from each stroke of your toys Master what is wrong with me
The Show
Doing a scene in front of a large crowd of people can be intimidating for the uninitiated. Not for me. Sometimes, however, a small group of people watching can be just as fun. Over time, I began to not care how many are watching because I just wanted to do a scene and go home and have incredible sex.
I heard through the grapevine that one of my favorite dungeons was going to host the play party for a big leather convention in town. Event parties are normally held at the hotel ballroom of the venue. And so it was a big deal that a local dungeon was chosen to host the play party. The dungeon owners had a lot riding on the success of the event. If successful, the convention would always have the play party there which made a lot of money on entrance fees.
I normally skipped these parties because they never had the equipment I needed to do my scene and so I was excited that they were going to have it at the dungeon instead. I was looking forward to a big crowd. A lot of my friends were going to the party and I was looking forward to seeing them as well. Since CS has a character limit on journals, I’m going to post a series of journals describing the incredible scene I did that night. So please stayed tuned. I was asked what I like about inflicting pain.
I answered: I love reactions. I am not really one for the stoic bottom. I also very much thrive on the trust that someone gives me to ride that line between ow ow ow and too far. Knowing that I am trusted not to deliberately cross the line and break boundaries is very affirming for me. I am very much a consensual sadist and having someone open themselves up, be vulnerable, and embrace my darkness and not be afraid of it helps with self confidence and not being ashamed of my sadism.
Then the responses dried up. I wonder what the "right" answer was? Conjure One feat. Poe - Center of the Sun
When I close my eyesI am at the center of the sunAnd I cannot be hurtBy anything this wicked world has doneI look into your eyesAnd I am at the center of the sunAnd I cannot be hurtBy anything this wicked world has done So, since it's such a pain in the ass to change your profile on here still, I'll just a journal entry instead.
I'm looking to explore the Daddy Dom/baby girl dynamic. No, not age play per se, and if you are a Daddy Dom you will know what I mean. I'm finding it harder to recover quickly after impact scenes so I think I'll put those on the back burner unless they are fairly mild.
DDlg is more about the mind connection. I am always so taken back by how many think BDSM is beat 'em and fuck 'em. That is far from the truth. Those who scratch your head about this statement need to just keep on going, pass me by. I won't be insulted, honestly I won't. You should be very careful throwing around terms like "true Dom/Master/sub/slave" or "real Dom/Master/sub/slave". What is real and true to me isn't necessarily what's real and true to someone else.
A lot of times people throw out those terms and what they really mean is "someone who thinks exactly like me" or "someone who practices BDSM just like I do". Other times they mean "you have to agree with everything I say, believe and do, or you're not a 'real' Dom/sub/Master/slave".
As far as I'm concerned, if you're willing to learn from others (regardless of which side of the slash they live on), you're kind, accepting, practice as safely as possible within you and your partners limits, you're respectful of others even if they have differing opinions/practices or beliefs, then you're as 'real' and 'true' as can be. I may not agree with you...I may not even want to spend time with you or associate with you, but I certainly won't malign you as being 'fake'. ROFLMAO!
Some moronic dumbinant just messaged me with pre-emptive butthurt and then immediately blocked me.
It was against the site's TOS to paste others' messages into a profile or journal entry last time I edited my journal. It looks like that has been taken out again, but just in case, I'll summarise his idiot message instead, and share my reply that I typed, only to find myself blocked.
He took the time out of his assuredly busy day to tell me that if I had read the site TOS, I would know why my links were rejected (a reference to my profile).
My intended reply:
"If you read the actual statement I made, you would know that the links themselves were not rejected, but that there is a limit to the number of links allowed in a profile. Any particular reason you are messaging a complete stranger just to attempt to throw shade?BTW, you used the wrong your. You're welcome."
I think he didn't like how my profile has limits and boundaries and stuff, which automatically preclude him from ever having a whisper of a chance.
His profile consists of a couple lines demanding potential property be local or pay to relocate themselves, the typical, lazy, "feel free to ask any questions", in leiu of any actual bio, and has no interests selected, and his two journal posts consist of bitching and whining about submissives have standards.
One is about those who want to know what the prospective dominant brings to the table, advising all said subs that we don't belong in the lifestyle, and we should get out, and that any doms who tolerate such are "simps"
The other laments subs whose profiles stipulate any limitations, such as excluding those with certain political or world views (the ones he specifically mentioned are usually to weed out bigoted assholes. Go figure). Charming fellow. I'm so sad that I missed out his domliness due to my totally unsubmissive insistence on not submitting to any old random loser on the internet.
I have not been writing much in this journal but hoping it might just perk someone's interest. I just moved back from Texas and now living in Northwest Indiana. About 20 minutes from downtown chicago and live in Schererville just across the Illinois border. I have been on this site for many years unsuccessfully and still hold out hope to finally achieve my goal of serving a strong, Dominant Woman. I can assure You am for real and today the first of Decmember once again spending another birthday allone. I am not evil, and have met some off the site which has not amounted to anything . I am on Fetlife under subndyer and started to branch to other sites. I still hold out hope on this site. Am a single submissive which can be molded into a slave who has been off and on in the lifestyle for about 20 years. I have no children , no wife , girlfriend, hell dont even have a dog. But can assure You my loyality, respect, obedience, and You happiness is first priority. If I perk Your interest please drop me a line would not disappoint No matter our lifestyle, or where we live, there are always issues and problems to deal with. And sources of stress. That's just how it is. Yet it's not the only way of looking at things. Life is also about love, happiness, delight, satisfaction, magic, discovery and much more. The trouble is that it's all too easy to forget these things when we're caught up in the challenges. Yet it doesn't take much to remind us of the positives. And when we remember to feel thankful, we feel good...just some pre Thanksgiving thoughts. Tell me like it is, like a lover,what it is you long to discover.Tell me what is your inspiration,where it is you find heart to listen.Tell me where you go, understanding,when you find a space while philand'ring.Tell me when we go, go like passion,how we go, go like flame so brazen.
'cause I come into this placeeager to recieve your peaceI come with my kindled heartburning to recieve your parton my knees to your altarso proud of this one collar
So tell me about the raw darkness;Your teachings and the path of service,about dreams and deep irations,and all about tall fascinations.Tell me how you want to strip me down,hold me down, decrown, and help me drown
myself in your grand splendor,where I am in surrenderTo your profound, splendid mind.And in submission I findmyself in absolution,freedom and transformation.
~dirtydarling I guess the thing to do is Post the resupts to this, so here it is. Can't say I believe it is really accurate becuse there were many statments that had more than one statemement within them, and I agrees 100% with only half the statement... The quandry of my brain lol. I mean, if anyone who is following my journals, read the entry right before this one, you know I am 100% NOT 66% Masochist lol
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Submissive
97% Brat
66% Masochist
64% Rope bunny
57% Vanilla
52% Degradee
47% Experimentalist
45% Primal (Prey)
33% Exhibitionist
31% Slave
12% Pet
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Rigger
0% Voyeur
0% Switch
0% Sadist
0% Ageplayer
0% Owner
0% Non-monogamist
0% Master/Mistress
0% Boy/Girl
0% Dominant
0% Degrader
0% Brat tamer
0% Primal (Hunter)
Can it be simple?
In Your most erotic and satisfying fantasy, are You doing it, or having it done to You?
any Mistresses or Dom wife's that have a sissy they think needs interaction or exposure to a Male send ME a message. maybe I can visit and make her feel very small and femme.
tammy, eager to talk to you...
any women who feel they need a good spankiing or whipping I would do that too.
also, a sissy contacting ME should have a sissy/femme name.....
a sissy contacting ME, especially regularly contacting ME should be wearing a plug. DB Getting the most from messagingThis site isn't like social media. Nor is it like whatsapp. It's something different. I noticed this when I had my pervious profile and want to make a couple of things clear. For me, you'll get the best results from a long form message. Something more like email or a letter. Its a bit like Tinder or Grinder. You get the best results when you have something more to say than 'hello'. If you're interested, say that. If you're looking for something long term say that too. Most of us get deluged with messages from all sides that are simply a single line of text. I delete those unread.Why?Simple: because no relationship or true D/s dynamic is going to develop from a string of one line messages. The D/s dynamic requires high levels of trust and openness. Such trust and openness cannot develop from single lines. At some point more information needs to be givem.But what if I am better at talking than writing? Well that's an easy one - speech to text apps exist. They're accurate and easy to use. Seriously, I once had a correspondent who tried this on my suggestion and it was the best conversation I'd had on my old profile up to that point. He thanked me afterwards because he was getting more replies.I don't have time for long messages. This will sound harsh, but you don't then have time for BDSM or a D/s dynamic either. For dominants, the level of attention a submissive needs is usually quite high at first. Sure they'll eventually require less attention to maximise the relationship from, but early on you'll need to invest time. As I said earlier, trust doesn't form from nowhere. If I'm going to let you tie me up and spank me, if I'm going to willingly place myself in a position so vulnerable I need to trust you.Of coruse, all of what I say here are observations of mine. Not every sub will feel the same, nor will every Dom(me). This is just my two penny worth. I do seriously recommend to everyone though, a longer message is better than a short one. In a sea of one-line messages it makes you stand out too!For me who works shift patterns sometimes I can only get to checking the site once a day, but when I do I'll respond to the most interesting messages, or the people with whom a connection has developed first. Tara xox I keep being curious about women who offer dom services (dominatrix services).
I say this politely, some of you men have been paying for pantomime sex.
A frumpy women, with a wig, forcing themselves into a 1980s leather outfit and whipping your pale backside at a hourly rated service, is a waste of money.
You may as well watch ex members of Eastenders at your local pantomime if your into cheap thrills.
How hard is it to find an actual relationship and discuss your sexual needs. I just spent a solid five minutes trying to fit the charging cord into my recently new vibrator and started to panic when it wasn't fitting. No amount of cramming, jamming, or slamming worked (that's what she said). Quickly flipping through all the scenarios in my head as the anxiety started to rise; Customer service? What in the world would that conversation sound like??? Awkward return? Repurchase? Get the rose that everyone is in awe of? A girl has needs, yo. None of those are going to help me tonight. And then I examined the end of the vibrator. Turns out that little hole was the wrong one. Let that be a lesson to you. Make sure you put it in the right hole or you might end up replaced by the rose. I don't think I am being a snob but I really don't want to date the following:
PE Teachers
Married men
Amazon drivers
Delivery drivers
Uncertified psychologists but claim to be life coaches (sad bunch)
Boring IT guys (you guys are lazy as fuck)
Men in prison usin the computers to go on CS and telling me about the wrongful rape convictions and think they can support my sexual needs online (Jesus can't even save you).
I am nothing special but come on someone with a flavour for life and traveling the world or going for a long walk in Thetford Forest (with camping gear and compass).
Someone who likes DX biking or countryside biking or hanging out in Norfolk going for a walk and drinking hot chocolate and coffee.
Come on! I am not going to allow any deviant to spank me After discussing my challenges with dating or even befriending certain types of people, my friend wants to come up a snappy phrase for me to use that translates into, "Yes, but your complete list of Issues Has to Fit in Large Print on an Index Card or It’s Too Much for Me.”
That's much pithier than what I originally said, so ... progress! STARTING A COURSE FOR TVs, CDs and Trans Mtf
I have been approached by a lot of people wanting to be feminised and trained to be more ladylike.
The course is hands on not online. The course is for a weekend to begin followed by a week and then a further fortnight afterwards.
It covers full deportment (how to carry yourself in walking sitting and standing et cetera), correct clothes selection, correct shoes selection, make up selection and application.
The beginners course is basic but this is expanded on the subsequent courses.
If interested then message me
The power of submission cannot be denied. In the end it’s really all about the depth of mental connection.
****No longer available****
Collared AND Married ^_^
And no, he doesn't share.
Neither do I. Invocation of the Sacred Masculine
He is not only safe—He is stable, consistent, and emotionally intelligent.His presence is a shelter, not a storm.His steadiness calms the chaos in me.
He holds me—In my spiritual depth,In my little space,In my adult power—without flinching, without fear.He meets every part of me and never turns away.
He doesn’t just allow my surrender—He protaspects it like something sacred.He honors my trust as a gift, not a given.And in his arms, I remember:I am not too much. I am finally home.
How time flies.
I was previously on this site for many years. Starting when it was still collarme... lol
Now I am back, mostly here for nostalgic reasons, though.
I am not really expecting to find anyone on this site as there does seem to be a lot of people left.
But I did always like this site so I am back and with a new role in life
If you like what you see or are curious to know more drop me a message.
Cheers and best wishes! Yeah, I thought I would get back here sooner.. shit happens.
Started getting all my medical stuff going this year. Ugghhh.
I am not looking for oral anything. My concerns this year involve going after the plastic surgeon who f'd up my reconstruction so severely it impacts the rest of my life and sue the f'er. I have to have what he did fixed. Firmly believe he shit on me because I am a medicaid patient. So, my focus is more personal health, at the same time, I have both art and print on demand stuff I am doing, my gardening is just picking up and getting busy at home, and I have an audio podcast I need to get going. On ssi at 560 a month sucks dirty dick.
If you want to be submissive to me, you have to have something to offer in return, not necessarily money, but say vanilla services that help me. Otherwise, I am busy as fuck making the next 20 years of my life better.
As I usually find my relationships in person doing stuff, make it good to get my attention, or I won't waste my time.
Approaching me about your needs is stupid.
Lola the Iron Mistress Dear Diary,
Today, I find MYSELF indulging in thoughts that have lingered at the back of MY mind for far too long. I’VE always envisioned MYSELF having two bases—one here in London, and another somewhere warm and inviting in Europe. For years, the idea has danced around in MY head, but I’VE never quite had the energy or the right moment to set things in motion. However, something feels different now, and I sense that if I don’t act soon, this dream might just slip away.
So, I’M taking the plunge and starting MY research on plans for MY second base. The idea of renting a small studio flat somewhere in Europe has always appealed to ME. I’VE been thinking about Portugal or Spain, with Portugal currently taking the lead. The thought of a cosy, sun-drenched space where I can retreat, recharge, and, of course, still keep a watchful eye on all of you from afar, is intoxicating.
Portugal has a certain charm that keeps calling out to ME —it's beautiful landscapes, rich culture, and warm climate are just what I need. But I’M still open to suggestions. Perhaps there’s a hidden gem I haven’t considered? Or maybe some of you have thoughts on why Spain might be a better fit for ME?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, MY devoted ones. After all, this isn’t just about finding a place; it’s about creating a second home—a sanctuary where I can rule from, wherever I may be. Your input could very well shape where this next chapter of MY life takes ME.
BLACK GODDESS Coachvisits again
Coach came by for what I think was his second visit. He visited in December and this time we wanted to step it up a bit. He wanted fucked. He wanted my cum in his ass. In his words, he wanted treated the way he's treated women most of his life. Like an object for pleasure.
Since he had visited before, he clearly knew where to come and that he was going to be at the correct house. The first time that someone comes for a visit, I always meet them in the driveway. This time, I told him that I would open the garage door and he was to come into the garage. I told him that in the back of the garage, near the door entering the house, he would find a stack of milk cartons. On an empty milk carton was a printed sign.
"Useless pieces of human flesh must put all of their clothing in here before entering"
I told him that I may (or may not) close the garage door after he enters, but he is to be completely naked before entering the house.
As I saw his car pull down the driveway I opened the garage door. I'm sure his heart was racing. Probably beating out of his chest since he knew he was going to be stripping naked in the garage. He was probably praying that I would close the garage door and give him some privacy from the neighbors.
I heard him near the door entering the house and knew he was inside the garage. I waited a moment listening for some rustling of clothing being stripped off before I closed the garage door. A moment later he came thru the door naked as he had been instructed.
I was leaning on the couch playing with my cock. I beckoned him over as he dropped to his knees and took my cock in his mouth. I honestly can't remember but I think I had a white jockstrap on. At first I was making him lick, sniff, and suck my cock through the dirty jock strap. But eventually I removed it and threw it to the side.
He is a wonderful cocksucker. My already stiff cock instantly got harder as his tongue worked on my cock. Not that stripping in the garage wouldn't already remind him that he was nothing but my property during his visit, but I wanted to reinforce to him that he was absolutely sub human while visiting, so I put a dog collar around his neck. I grabbed the collar by each side and started guiding his mouth up and down on my cock.
His throat wasn't quite adjusted to the sensation of my cock yet, so as I pulled him deep down onto my cock he would gag. Of course this only made me chuckle at him. "Suck my cock, suck Daddy's cock, you know what to do, take that cock down your throat. Go ahead and choke on Daddy's cock."
His cock sucking skills are wonderful and after only being on my cock for a few minutes I felt the need to cum. But I had a lot more in store for him today. I pulled him off my cock and told him to lick my balls. I raised one leg so he could not only get to my balls but almost to my ass as well. Of course this only made me want to cum more.
Read the conclusion of the story at
www.SirKel.top
won't app5rove with same things as old profile
sissies should be wearing a plug on their own, they don't need a Master telling them to. a plug is not to stretch them but to teach them to relax and let it enter and to
clench on the narrow neck to tone their sissy pussy. they should learn to milk a cock thrust into it's loins, also a sissy shouldpickit's own sissy or femme name to identify with, not wait for a Master to give it one. if they want to rename the sissy, so be it.
if you're a Mistress or a Wife that has a sissy you think needs a little or a lot of Male interaction I can visit, even stay for a few days to do so. DB Most will never understand a true slave especially what life made me.
I have existed for others and sacrificed for so many. I have served in so many ways in the lifestyle and in the military going to Austere environments facing the darkness and trying to save others. I was born with skill sets and still tried to find redemption after 12 deployments and then my 13th in ukraine with the Ukraine Foreign Legion till getting injured twice and being forced back stateside.
A slave exists because another wills you to exist. A fair warning to all slaves, I am talking with other people as well, reaching out to see whom I can find. I've been looking for a while (the last 5 years off and on), and been patient, and that hasn't worked as well as I would have liked, so I am casting my net wide and seeing what develops quickly.
That said, if I make travel plans with you (either to go to you or you to come to me), that time will be reserved soley for you, as I consider that commitment sacred. On the same vein, however, you only get one chance. Make plans and fail to follow through and that will be it. I'm just going to say this and see if anyone even bothers to read.
Don't immediately try to lure me to hangouts or any other communication site that is normally linked to a more personal site. I don't expect to learn a lot about you... But I'm betting you are trying to gain access to data on who I am. Which is generally what I expect from scammers.
Ask me to talk to you on something known for it's security and anonymity. Not AOL which has been compromised for over 20 years... I mean seriously... If you are real and want me to respect you, don't act like a scammer or bot. PSA!!! Misogyny and topping from the bottom is alive and well on Collarspace!
The faux wannabe’s start out nice, but within a few words that are contradictory to who they profess to be, they reveal who they are.
They go from so nice, to blocking you after you’ve called them out on their inconsistancies.
These people make it difficult for the men with true hearts, irregardless as to which power dynamic category they self identify as. They take up so much undeserved oxygen.
The most recent exchange went like this.
Unnamed User
greetings Goddess! have You ever been to new york in usa? im 55 single male sub. im eager to serve and worship You. please consider me. Thinking about the next few months...
After September, I may have the opportunity to "go into hiding" so to speak. In other words, as long as I have internet access to do my remote work, I should be able to travel and stay pretty much anyplace for 1 to 2 weeks without interruption.
I'd love to find time to serve someone as "deeply" as possible.
I know folks often fantasize about 24/7/365 locked in a cell, etc, but the reality is that's impractical. But for a long weekend, a week, perhaps.
Have you ever thought about having a slave at your complete mercy for some fixed amount of time. We'd negotiate certain hard limits beforehand, but other than that, I'd let you have your way with me, even if it's not something I'd want or enjoy.
For example forced-bi, smoking, are a hard limits. Not going to happen. Not my thing.
Ball-kicking... I absolutely HATE it.. I'll do almost anything (except cross hard limits) to avoid it. But... I'd suffer it, simply because I'd want to put your pleasure first.
Obviously we'd have to get to know each other first, but if there is a connection spark, even for just a short period of time I'd love to see what we could do.
Building an authentic M/s relationship takes time. It starts with conversation. Open and honest about what things mean, experiences, expectations, and more. How else would we determine if we are good for each other. Then, it takes a leap of faith from both of us. I've been surprised by a "slave" who was so rude and so standoffish. I get I am not for everyone just as not everyone will be a good match for Me. But still... kindness is for everyone.
I am not a wannabe. Nor am I just a thirsty boy looking for sex. Sex will be a great part of our dynamic but it's not what drives Me. I've lived this life authentic for many many years. I seek that 24/7 TAT/TPE again.
That likely starts on line and then moves to calls and visits. I am not here to scam you, lead you on, have you send pics, or wank off to you on skype. Not My thing at all. I am old school. you'll always be treated with respect. Being in charge doesn't equate to mean or disrespectful.
Just about every ex or ex play partner will have good things to say about Me. One was a compulsive liar who turned nasty. A few of them would love for Me to collar them again. you will not be disappointed with Me if you are truly seeking a deep D/s or M/s bond and relationship.
I am still in Grand Rapids while I look at places to relocate to. I'll buy a house and settle in wherever that leads Me to. I hope you'll take a leap of faith.
MT Usually I'm good and Lucifer leaves me alone.... But then there are days when he just comes out of nowhere leaving me in an obsessive ball for him. What is he doing? Who does he think he is? How come he holds this power over me? I try to fight it but I can't. It's like this feeling of I need him and he needs me in some way.
I don't want to be obsessed over him but I can't help myself sometimes. I'm supposed to be all about Jesus but then Lucifer comes and knocks down everything. I don't deserve Christ. I'm always turning my back on him for his enemy. FML
A Dominant should never have to demand ritual behaviour from Their submissive.
Their submissive responds to Them out of the want and need of pleasing Them.
Compliance comes from the desire to please and submit to the will and expectations of them as a submissive and not through the fear of punishment. More about a fear of failing to succeed and be pleasing as well as failing themselves as a sub.
When you slip into the darkness
When you fall from grace
Will it hurt as bad as they say?
Or will it wake up hidden dreams?
Can one transmute pain into pleasure?
Can the Fallen One really give you something for your soul?
Will I ever truly wake up to the truth?
If so who's truth am I gonna believe?
Which path is better for me to travel?
Staying in the middle is hard.... After all they say it's one or the other.
Can't I blend into a new being. A silver being. A being of tranquility and adventure?
I'm a Woman. I'm a rebel. I'm a sweetheart. I can be cold and closed off. I can be lovely.
When will I get the help I seek? No not a man to control me. I don't need that.
No a therapist either, I already have that.
There's something missing... A piece of me that has been ripped out and left a hole.
This hole doesn't fill because I don't know what was there to begin with.
When you let others dictate your life, you lose yourself and wrap yourself in their ideas of you.
But when you wake up.... Well you realize you don't and we're not what they said you were.
Do you or will you ever find yourself again under the mess?
Will the light shine or do I keep my eyes shut and stay in the dark.
I love them all.... Yet I love no one... I guess I'm a contradiction Finish her!
The whipping scene has gone on for 40 minutes. My whipped body now hangs in my chains as the whipping stops. I can see through the slits in the mask the looks of shock and surprise in the faces of the crowd watching my torture. I can see the faces of some of my friends smiling at me. They know what’s about to happen.
My loin cloth is removed which shows the neon red string bikini I was wearing underneath it. It glows like a hot coal in the black light. My torturer comes in close and runs her hands over my whipped body and the raised welts on my stomach and thighs. She goes over to the chain and starts pulling it. It’s at this point the people watching think that I’m being lowered but I’m not. I’m being tightened.
I’m being suspended higher now and the ankle chains are getting tighter. The room is silent as I’m now being torture stretched. My ribs are clearly visible now and my belly gets pulled flat. I’m moaning loudly now as my pain level has now reached a ten. It’s now very difficult to breathe and I’m suffering. I’m struggling with the last safety ball in my hand as I try to dangle it out of fingers in order to drop it, a clear signal to my torturer that I’m finished.
I can see the look of horror in some of the faces of the people watching my torment. I manage to drop the ball and I’m lowered to the floor, exhausted. The scene ends with a passionate kiss from my torturer and I limply stand there still in chains. My mask is removed and I’m led to a nearby bondage table to recover. I’m surrounded by friends and a few attendees as they ask how I am and if I’m alright. A few want to see my welts. I guess it’s too see if the welts real. They are. I’m showered with compliments and it makes me feel fantastic. I’m going to remember this night for a long time. I want you to be my teacher. I'll wear a schoolgirl uniform with a really short skirt, top and skimpy panties. My hair will be in pigtails to make me look really cute.
Ill come in asking for extra credit to pass school and in order to get it you tell me exactly what you want while you pull out your ruler.
I then hesitate and say I've never done this before so its time for you to teach me.
I put the tip in my mouth and hate the taste but you grab my head you deep throat me, unloading everything in my mouth.
I end up coughing it out but you grab my face and tell me to swallow and I fortunately do it.
You tell me to take it or I fail and I cant afford to fail. You then grab me and bend me over a desk with my beautiful rear in full view.
I try to pull down my skirt to cover my rear but you grab my hands and tie them behind me forcefully.
Im helpless as you lift my skirt and pull off my panties to unveil my virgin pussy.
You then mess with me and tease my pussy with your fingers and tongue before you tell me im ready with your throbbing ruler in full view
I beg you to stop but you spank me for talking back to the teacher. You then shove your ruler in me to to grade my pussy.
I have no choice but to take it while you keep fucking me from behind. You then rip off my top to mess with my nipples and maybe even give me the honor ot stroking me to drive me insane
Eventually after some time you unload in me as I experience your load for the first time as I scream in pleasure.
You then tell me to clean you up as I lick every last juice from you magnificent body and ruler, while I hear you give me my final grade.
I cant wait for our next lesson
A recent message asked me to name "one experience thats shaped your journey in the BDSM world", and I thougt of this poem. It is about a scene I monitored in the early summer of 1999. The title is the name of the wonderful, beautiful woman, a friend, mentor, and so much more, to so many people over the years, and the sub in the scene. I miss you, "Mom".
Allena
Beautiful golden hillside Lush with fine, silken grasses Trembling as he works his Mastery With every crack like thunder, Another crimson dewdrop appears; Meeting one another, dancing into rivulets, Until her hills and valleys run with ruby wine. Over and over, agony meets ecstacy; Mingling tears with sighs As she shudders with pleasure and pain. I shudder too, as I watch. Start at every strike; Feel each blow as it lands. I imagine I am there beside her; And for a precious moment...We are one.
©Khaos WolfKat 2001
As an experienced Dominant in the leather community, I can certainly understand the appeal of consensual objectification within a safe, sane space. When I discover that my submissive derives pleasure from being treated as an object of desire, it elicits a complex range of emotions.
There is a sense of power and control, knowing I can shape their experience and push the boundaries of their submission. But there is also a deep well of trust and responsibility that comes with that. I must handle their vulnerability with the utmost care, ensuring their needs are met even as I strip away their agency.
It's a delicate dance, really.
On one hand, there’s the thrill of reducing them to a mere plaything for my enjoyment.
On the other hand, there’s the profound connection of being entrusted with their most intimate desires. It's a privilege to be granted that level of trust and intimacy. And with that privilege comes the duty to wield it wisely, to push just to the edge without ever compromising their safety or well-being.
Does that resonate with you? The heady mix of control and care, power and responsibility? Please speak to me, and let us explore this dynamic further in the confines of our sacred space. Oiled up.
Shortly after I came to Texas I got oiled up before I scened. I'd grab some Hawaiian Tropic or Banana Boat and take it to the dungeon with us. I did this suspended whipping scene once where I was oiled up before the scene. This was a really nice dungeon in Oklahoma City. Afterward, we went to the lounge area to chill for a bit.
"Why do you use the oil?" this femsub asked me.
In the back of the room, this male dom said, "it makes it easier to take the whip!"
WRONG. Haha. The oil is to make me look sexier! My Domme loved to slowly massage oil all over my body while I was tied up. This was for her. We had to stop doing it because people started to complain about the smell. It didn't matter that we used bleach solution to wipe everything down. So we stopped.
We were at one of our favorite dungeons doing a rack scene. They had a long wooden one with a roller on one end. So we're doing our thing and I'm lying there on my back all stretched out getting into sub space. My Domme pauses and steps away for a few seconds. I'm not wearing my contacts so I can't see anything but the ceiling. And I hear, "Yes that would be nice."
Interrupting a scene in progress without permission is a big no no. You can get kicked out for that. But this was different. Next thing I know is I'm being oiled up while I'm stretched on the rack. If I wasn't in subspace before I'm surely going there now.
Here's what happened.
The dungeon owner, a tall slim 40ish brunette who works in law enforcement, saw us doing a rack scene. She owned that rack but nobody ever stretched someone on it. Most used it like a bondage table. So when we used it she loved watching us play. So she was watching us that night and thought to herself, she (me) would look so much better if she was oiled up. So during our scene she waved at my domme and once she got her attention, told her that. She heard the story about why we stopped and she suggested a solution.
Mineral oil. It's water soluable and has no smell. Problem solved.
So now when I do a scene, I'm getting oiled up. Whoever is topping me gets to rub warm oil all over my tits, belly, arms, legs and butt. I like it when its slow.
Shout out to that dungeon owner. Thank you.
You feel as if you're caught in the sticky web of a venomous and POWERFUL Black Widow spider. You want to escape... But you can't. And at the same time - You don't want to. You know those deadly, sharp fangs just may be the end of you... But your curiosity is at it's peak. Will She really eat me alive? You wonder... How powerful can She REALLY BE? Your heart beats rapidly at the thought of 'The Black Widow' - You can feel your heart in your throat. Beads of sweat drip down your pathetic little face! She's coming closer... And closer.... Too close for your comfort! And as she crawls to you with those poisonous sacs prepared to BITE - You realize.... Everything's OK. This is where you belong. The Black Widow didn't drag you here! YOU were the one eyeing the web! YOU were the one who felt it was 'safe' to enter, fully aware of the "could be's" and "probably so's". YOU were the one who entered on YOUR own free will! This wasn't a TRAP. You stumbled across Her web FOR A REASON. Her fangs are closer to you now as you again realize - Your "free will" is now Her's. The Black Widow is your new MASTER!It's time.
Time for the BITE. You close your eyes as you find a mental place of relaxation. You're ready! You've eyed The Black Widow's nest for far too long... You've witnessed what She's done to those prior to you. Curiosity lured you in. Jealousy of the "others" may have also played a part. You've yearned to know what THEY felt while they were with HER. And now here's your oppurtunity... You're ready to DIE at Her fangs and be BORN AGAIN to serve Her. This is your new life - In Her web, catering to Her needs. This IS afterall, HER WORLD. And you were just a lost soul trying to find your way......You've found it now.. You've found yourself! You've found that your way is HER way!
And all it took was a PAINLESS bite from The Powerful Black Widow. Acculturation or Training
After inspection there will be a time of acculturation or training. During this time either Master or slave may part company without any reason needed. This period of time may be as short as one month or as long as one year. For slave it would be a great time to discover what it really is and what life style resonates with its innerself. I am a Black woman, living in Amerikkka. As the result historical, societal, and universal pressures I've developed a power and strength that intrigues, inspires, and intimidates... some of you feel me before you see me. You know who you are ;-)
So what would I need with protection? Do I need protecting? Certainly a woman with my knowledge and experience can handle things herself, right?
Unequivocally, Black women need protection.
Protect Black women.
Malcolm X said it best, "Black women are the most disrespected, unprotected, and neglected in America". And I'll take it a step further, and say we might even be the most disrespected in the world. Why? Because anti-blackness and WS is one of Americas most prolific exports.
Yet, regardless of the prevailing narrative - Black women are beautiful. WE ARE AMAZING. We deserve respect, recognition, resources, regard, and above all SAFETY AND SECURITY.
And the latter is not possible without protection.
Protect Black women.
Yours Truly,
Thee Blaque Queen Goddess A new entry is long overdue, so I'm glad they have finally brought back the journal feature. So... why am I still here if I'm not actively looking for a sub right now? Well, I've gone through many periods where I simply have too much going on or get frustrated or simply lack the desire for sessions. But it always comes back around. And there are a few people around here I converse with, so that's also why I keep my profile active instead of hiding it. But keep in mind that this doesn't mean I want to hear from anyone who hopes I'll keep them in mind for when I do want to meet subs again. I'm not keeping a list and I delete the majority of messages I receive. Woo-hoo approved. I kept it fairly safe cause I've heard of so many others having issues.
As stated I was around when it was collarme. Probably 2005 until it went poof. So thrilled to see this new site.
I did in fact meet quite a few men from that site over the years. Some were one offs. Some were play partners for a while. Some we just weren't as compatible in person.
I do my best to avoid the latter issue by getting to know someone enough prior to meeting. Ensuring our wants and needs are both going to be met and that expectations are realistic. If someone cannot engage my mind prior to meeting I already know that won't happen magically just because we do meet.
I am genuinely a kind person. I can come across bitchy because of my writing style and bluntness. I also do not have much patience for those who will not read and are here due to boredom or for me to entertain them via writing and pics. I am looking for real time meets. That is all.
I do lean submissive. I love being used. I am not an idiot or a brainless child. I am a slut first who also happens to be submissive. If "training" is in your repertoire move on. That's a game I'm not into. I'm also not into submissive men or switches. I am simply not attracted to them.
I want people to reach out but please be interested in real time and local. If men would respect what women want I think both our experiences on this site would be so much better.
I will post more and get into the good stuff. Take care for now! second potenial ending to blend with majority of previous ending
Now exhausted from the day’s events, your precious body quivers, shakes lifelessly, just laying on the faux fur bed, hands still locked together, and your feet still in the spreader bar. Completely war out from the whole day’s events that enfolded all before your eyes. Twelve hours of pleasure, pain, excitement, desires being fulfilled, heightened arousals, your deepest most rooted thoughts brought up to the surface for all to see. Your path of fulfillment was laid out before Me, your strengths, weaknesses, everything was given to Me. Now it’s my turn to reward you.
All your bonds have now been released, first your wrists, then followed by each ankle, and then finally the lock that held you to the chain, that of which held you so dearly still. All that remained was the collar, the collar which now was yours to wear with pride. This was my give / symbol to give to you, that you may now show the world that you are now loved, cherished, desired, taken, cared for, and belong to me. All of that said in a simple fashion of a collar.
The reward, for your ever falling body, that is which, is slipping deeper and deeper into submission of sleep. I place you down, now under the faux blanket; I place you on plush oversized huge pillows at the top of the bed. Silk lined sheets covered with soft rose petals. A warm fire place glowing in the far corner; the corner that which was kept in the dark, hidden from your eyes the whole time. (Slave went and started the fire while I was releasing your bonds.)
My, sweet baby; so sore and sexy, all at the same moment. Looking at you with a new fresh pair of eyes, eyes no longer lusting but has contentment, restful, and happy. I’m proud of what I have done and now own.
Sweetness I have a question for you, “are you truly happy? Am I what you thought I would be? All that you lusted for? Is this what you will forever be able to be? My own, loved forever?”
As you slowly drift away to that sleepless state. Wow. It has been a while since I have updated this, and things have been going well. I have been seeing a Lady who is encouraging me to have my first birthday experience. Well, encouraging is putting it mildly to say the least. I have been experimenting with chastity for a while now, and do have a keyholder, who at the moment, let me out once a week to masterbate, and then back in the cage i go.
I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to the New Year If you classify yourself as a sissy or your main interest is cross dressing, that is a fetish I DO NOT have an interest in.
I will not change my mind on it, so don't try. Everyone is different and I have nothing against sissies or cross dressers but it is not something I will indulge a slave in.
This includes Adult babies too. I am so very happy the Journals are back on collarspace.
Music..... Dont fear the reaper
FIRE..................... My only demand is that you give me the time I deserve. Do not tell me you need me and then not communicate or text thinking I will wait for you. I do not have the time. My needs are real and you can at least treat me with the respect I am due.
If you cannot be honest and in the moment, that is ok. Find another. Is this thing really working again? Omg is it safe to put my thoughts here again. If so it's raining here and all I can think about is having sex in the rain. Now if I was in a second floor apartment it could work on the patio maybe. I mean we did kinda have sex there once at night...lol
Met someone from this site and I will admit I really like this person but saw a couple of red flags.
It felt nice being sexually open about my fetishes and kinks and not feeling judged.
It felt nice kissing on a bruised looking old sofa that is destined for a council bulk waste collection.
It felt good all over, there is a but coming. Why are some men so reckless with protection.
To avoid my own recklessness I choose to keep to myself for years, just because I want an open relationship does not mean I want to start being reckless.
Taken a step back on this play buddy and considering my options, either keep to myself again or try again with someone new. So slightly better news. 99.9 percent of the people who get this cancer are either heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, or drug users, and have depressed immune symptoms. Since I am none of those things, my chances of making it out of this alive is closer to 80 percent than 50. I'll take it. I go in for surgery next week. They are cutting out a piece of the back of my tongue, a piece of the back of my throat, and going into the side of my neck and removing all the lymph nodes. Fortunately, the surgical techniques have advanced a lot and they no longer have to take out all the bones and muscle in my neck along with it. So I will have a scar on my neck, but won't be grossly disfigured. I won't be able to eat solid food or talk for a few weeks, and it's still going to be horribly painful, but better than dying. And hopefully, if they get it all, I won't need to follow up with chemo and radiation and it won't come back. But this cancer does like to come back. I will worry about that when it happens. For now, I'm going to focus on getting through this and keep living my life as best I can. Thanks to everyone who took the time to write me about their own survival stories, or to offer support. Alright......look... if I get a DM asking me to go to Google chat OR any other chat program BEFORE we get to know each other a LITTLE bit THAT is NOT going to happen. Much like that "take off your clothes" and/or "what are you wearing"
Yes I want and NEED to find a Master OR Mistress and YES that this web page has been reckoned to Mos eisley spaceport, and I understand people have been hurt from their interactions. However:
*I* know that *I* am worth it, I'm worth the time AND effort that is required to claim me, this isn't going to be easy and IF it was then wouldn't you be more concerned? Perhaps, JUST perhaps the reason people get those type of people that are NOT "real" is because of the DM's that they receive? Take it for what it is...
SO the pictures of me ARE me.....the text I wite (with spelling errors) ARE mine. i'm asking for you, to look deeper, take a chance to nuture a relationship with me,THAT is what will form a unbreakable bond, NOT "what are you wearing".....
With Love,
hope
Well, another update due!
My gf and I have a very fun lesbian to play with. Very into the humiliation aspect of having to serve a bloke too, so that's fun lol.
Now just looking for the rarest slave type. The prisoner type, sometimes join the rest of us when able, but lives to serve me mostly, while they are away. They have lives, interests, hobbies etc but you don't. Your entire existence is obeying and serving, kept locked/chained away when not in use etc. exact details and any limits discussable, but as close as possible to that. AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party -8th November: Time 4pm
Join me and my band of ladies for my AcadaMay CFNM ladies tea party on 8th November. Well groomed men/subs may apply to attend to serve your superiors, single ladies are always welcome to attend. If you wish to have this experience do message here. You will be asked to verify yourself and sent a questionnaire. September 2025 Update
Well, what to update on? I've had precious little innteresting contact on this site for a while. I did have some medical issues toward the end of last year from which I am now recovering. I was in a relationship where the partner in question appears to have ghosted me. I guess that makes me single once again? I havent heard from him in over 6 months after all. To me, I'm single even if neither of us spoke the words 'we're broken up'.
I've maintained my chastity now since March 2020. I don't think i could live without it. I too, still regularly practice submissive poses, exercises, and enjoy self bondage sessions in lieu of a dominant.
My transition has been a drawn out process due to my illness earlier this year. I do take hormone treatments, and keep myself with long hair, and shaved below the top of my head. I dress as femme all day every day. I love as a woman every day. However, bottom surgery has not yet been approved for me. The psychiatrist I had lined up to provide my second medical declartion rejected it back in January, meaning I've been fighting both an illness and the NHS since then to get the documents and reports I need for my GRC. If you know what that means, you'll know the frustration. If you don't let me simplify it. I've been living as a woman now for nearly four years, but I can't have that legally recognised just yet because of paperwork.
If you want someone who is submissive and loyal, I am that. However, be warned that though I intend to undergo bottom surgery, that is still a little while away for me. What is it with females on this site not responding to email? I have tried long, involved replies. I have tried short and succinct ones. I have tried "Please get in touch" notes. I have tried every type of email possible, but always courteous and non-threatening unless her profile specifically states that is not what she wants. I see lots of, "Please give me time to reply. I've gotten tons of responses," journal and profile notes, but they NEVER seem to have enough time to reply, no matter how much time they're given. What's the deal? Is EVERY female on this site a fake? Please, someone come through for me and restore my faith in humanity. We could be a perfect match, but unless you REPLY and we COMMUNICATE, we'll never know. When the opportunity slips away, we'll never get it back. A reply is literally two minutes (or less) of effort for a possible lifetime of reward. Since Master James passed away things have been a little different between Mistress Tabitha and I. More like girlfriends in mourning than Mistress and slave. I had to ask if I could resume wearing my collar as it had been removed for the funeral services.Today started out as a surprise for me. Mistress snapped my leash on and led me to the basement and tied my in a standing spread eagle an picked up the buggy whip.She kissed my cheek and said youve done nothing wrong but I need this.She started to whip me and she started crying. She whipped harder and harder. I was crying and writhing in pain and she beat me for almost 20 minutes. Breasts, back, bottom and the inside of my thighs. It was the most severe whipping I have ever had. Almost no delay between strokes, just a storm of constant pain.She sat and watched me as I tried to settle down. Finally she said I love you, it will be ok. I started crying again. I was happy and felt a huge amount of relief.Things are getting back to normal.Master James would be pleased.
A day in service
I rise at dawn, my body sore,
To chores and tasks, and much, much more.
The floor I scrub, the dust I chase,
A flick of the wrist, a stern command sets the pace.
Her coffee brewed, just so, just right,
I dare not fail, in morning's light.
Her silk robe flows, a queenly sight,
I bow my head, avoid her light.
The day is long, a string of tests,
To prove my worth, to quell her jests.
A word of praise, a precious prize,
Reflected in her knowing eyes.
The afternoon, a humbler task,
Her boots to clean, that's all I ask.
To kneel and wipe, to polish well,
The story that my movements tell.
The sun descends, the day is done,
The final test has now begun.
She summons me with one sharp look,
My place is found, my writing's in a book.
Her throne awaits, a velvet chair,
I crawl toward her, breathless, aware.
The day's devotion finds its end,
My goddess, whom I can't transcend.
Her sacred space, my final quest,
My weary head upon her breast.
My tongue performs the rite so true,
My world is her, in every hue. Finally re-dyed my hair for the first time in six months. Made a mess of it, all over me, but the colors are better than i could have hoped for. Unfortunately it did not help my mental state at all, which was what i was most hoping for. But at least now i can get my new driver's license and have pretty colored hairs in my picture.
Daddy has been so patienct with my mental state, or lack thereof, and i need to find a way to make it up to Him. How he deals with me i will never know, but i am beyond thankful.
This week also started our doctor appointments...hopefully we are able to start the disability process for Him quickly so that we have a dual income again. And i know He hates not being able to contribute financially due to His health. The doctor told Him that although He is only 41, He has to consider Himself 75 physically, and that is a tough pill to swallow.
For me i'm sure they will try and give me medications again, and i'll accept it for my blood pressue as it is beyonf sky-high but other than that i prefer not to take anything....i would rather allow my body to heal itself....even if it is really bad at doing so... I woke up this morning after having had a dream that i was going to be surprised. I giggled with glee wow a treat for me! So we arrange a day and time and importantly a place. I'm getting more and more excite. when I arrive separately I'm told to drop my clothes and get in the middle of the bed. Assume the most submissive pose I know which is to be face down on the bed ass up and legs spread as much as possible, i will behave and after i'm checked the only door to the room is opened. 3 very nice looking men enter. They do not introduce themselves to make but proccede to disrobe. Each climbs onto the bed encircling me with smiles. This is new to me I don't know any of them. I feel myself get soaking wet. My heart beat quickens, my breathing becomes deep and I'm filled with fear. Will this really happen and i get to experience something new, a gangbang, or was it simply a dream? February 20, 2024
I've been speaking with Edgingfun23 for a while on FetLife. He came over for his first visit recently. He told me he was interested in getting a deep enema, and I explained that a deep enema takes time and it might not be necessary. So when he first arrived, as I do with all my guys, I met him in the driveway and we came inside.
He was dressed straight from work. Usually guys that come for a visit wear jeans and a t-shirt, very relaxed looking. But edgingfun23 had clearly just come from a day of work. I sat back in my easy chair, looked straight into his eyes and simply said, "well… Strip!"
I could tell that he was a bit nervous, but he started stripping his clothing off and putting them in the chair next to where he was standing. I just watched intently as he took off each article of business clothing. When he was naked, I just stared at him for a minute and he stood there wondering what would come next.
I got up from my chair and went to the couch and grabbed a pair of wrist restraints. His hands were hanging down to his sides, and not recognizing these were wrist restraints, he did not extend his hands. So I grabbed a hand and pulled it out in front of him, putting the velcro restraint on his wrist. And then I put a restraint on the other wrist. Back to the couch I got a dog collar and put around his neck. I stood behind him and reached around playing with his nipples, groping his cock and balls, and tugging a bit on the dog collar.
I told him to come to the bathroom where we were going to clean him out. I briefly explain the difference between a deep enema and a light enema. I told him we would start with a light enema but he would have to tell me when the water he was expelling into the toilet was clear. If it cleared up after a few cycles we would be done, if it didn't we might have to switch to a deeper enema.
Apparently never having an enema before, he wasn't sure what to do. I told him to get down on all fours on the bathroom floor. When he was in the doggie position I smeared some Vaseline on my finger and slid it up and down the crack of his ass. I filled a small enema bulb with warm water, put some Vaseline on the tip of the tube, and using two of my fingers spread his ass cheeks so I could insert the tip of the enema bulb into his ass.
As I squeezed all the water into his ass he didn't make a sound. I told him to stay in that position as I filled the bulb a second time, inserted it and added more water to his bowels. I smacked his ass and told him that I would leave the room to give him some privacy, and that he should take his time and expel the water. When he was done, he was to flush the toilet and as I heard him flush the toilet I would know it was time to come back in for the next round.
I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me. It wasn't too long until I heard the toilet flush. I went back in and he was standing as I filled the enema bulb again. I told him to get back down on all fours. Two more bulbs of warm water filled his bowels before I left him to expel again.
He learned quickly because the next time I came in the bathroom he was already on all fours. I think we went through four cycles of rinsing him out when I asked him how the water was. He said it was pretty clear. I think we went through one more cycle. I forgot to tell him on the last cycle to make sure he gets as much water out as possible.
When we were done in the bathroom I told him we were going to head upstairs. He had previously told me he might need to work on his cock sucking skills so I thought the best place to do that would be upstairs. Although I knew he was extremely interested in the cow milking machine and the fuck bench, I needed my cock sucked first, so we were starting upstairs.
We got upstairs and I briefly showed him all of the toys that I keep in the bedroom. Cock cages, ball weights, paddles and whips, and plenty of anal toys. I passed him a tight fitting cloth hood that has eye holes and a mouth hole. I told him to put it on. At first, as he pulled it over his head, I don't think he realized there were eye holes. I told him to pull it a bit forward that there were eye holes and we wanted to center the mouth hole so my cock had access to his mouth.
After he made the adjustment to the hood I told him to climb on the bed on all fours. I wanted to check out his ass. I wanted to start playing with his hole immediately.
Instinctively his ass rose into the air as his shoulders went down onto the bed. I think he has been in this position before. I grabbed some lube and squirted it on my finger as I rubbed it across his hole. I slipped my finger back and forth over his ass and then pushed a finger inside. Oh my god, it went in easily. I knew his ass was going to get a lot of play today. This was going to be fun.
READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT
WWW.SirKel.top this site doesn't want me to be great. it keeps cutting off my piece i'm trying to share and it's not even as lengthy as other works i've written. oh well, can't stop won't stop. is the 5th upload attempt the charm instead of the 3rd? let's see if it cuts it off in this format.
Wavy Baby: Sirenade, The Lullaby of Power, Love, and Connection
this song is excellence. it provides nuturing in such a cool and curated vibe. it's an updated lullaby in a song. it's a shh shh shh whisper hug in an art deco haute couture framework.
this song could be so many versions. it could be a connection to spirit and the water goddesses since it is sirenade...serenade as a siren.....it could be a song for women connection to other women.
but my focus here is always about the power dynamic.
in that context i hear it in two ways..it could be the submissive woman singing to the man. in the first part...it could be then the man reciprocating in the other half after the mermaid season breakdown.
it could be a segment i don't talk about often due to my complete inexperience of being able to attempt this to happen for me but what exists, the daddy through the dominant woman...be it a more butch or masculine or gender fluid et all woman....or a femme woman...because similar to submissive daddy men, the feminine presenting and aligned woman that is a daddy is often overlooked...but they have and do exist for long periods of time as well....
i feel contextually given the singer is a woman it makes more sense for it to be sung for the submissive woman straight up from the dominant daddy woman's perspective in that relationship.
but i feel all those apply.
her cover says love is war and i've experienced that. but something in me knows it doesn't have to be...and while not getting there can be emotionally, mentally, spiritually hard..the actions of avoiding it being a war are quite easy. be ready to burn everything and anything that doesn't serve your highest good for the good of the third energy, the relationship. burn like a phoenix, shinier, brighter, more you, and more elevated. over and over between the dance of you and your beloved. claim them and hold on for the ride knowing your life partner is there along with you birthing this new you this new union.....the rollercoaster inside will eventually subside and when you don't make love war, you always have your emotional/mental/spiritual/sexual/physical/financial partner there with you step by step into the challenges of life by you. i see and have only experienced what happens when the other person can't go through the fire. and i have experienced only the love is war. but i see it in others all around me online, offline, before social media, after social media.
love doesn't have to be war if both parties or if polyamorous all parties don't let it.
"Wavy, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Yeah"
iamddb says, 'urban jazz'...but it sounds vocally like 'harbinger'...and that mishear nuance the way she pronounces it adds another layer to this chicly crafted lullaby.
"har·bin·ger/ˈhärbənjər/nounnoun: harbinger; plural noun: harbingers
a person or thing that announces or signals the approach of another."witch hazels are the harbingers of spring"Similar:heraldsignindicatorindicationsignalpreludeportentomenauguryforewarningpresageannouncerforerunnerprecursormessengerusheravant-courierforetoken
I keep putting off posting here but a few people keep reminding me so here’s a bit of an update on my life..
As my profile and prior journal entry says, I’m owned (full time and live-in) by a couple and part of their household. This position is a lot different than my prior ownership position but I was expecting that. I function as the alpha in the household but I’m inexperienced in that position so it’s been a steep learning curve. They have great faith in me and my potential so who am I to question that? ;)
The household is much more steeped in the harder core end of the BDSM spectrum. And by that I mean that it’s not just an occasional role play type thing or the D/s “lifestyle” thing with inane rule lectures or protocols and such. Well, to be fair, my prior ownership situation was similar in that way too but I was also in college at the time so there was a lot of time spent out of the house in the vanilla world. In large part, my decision to take on the position was because it was a more edgy and realistic situation than the more mainstream “lifestyle” stuff I’ve encountered.
I suspect this is going to get horribly hacked up here so I'll leave more until later...
Master's WritingsFoundations: The Ethics of SadismThe ethics surrounding sadomasochistic play are perhaps among the most important in all of the BDSM community. I constantly see posts from masochists searching for a "Real Sadist", someone who knows what they are doing and they can trust. And why shouldn’t they, in this realm, we are often talking about genuine pain and the potential for real harm. Yet I continue to see those who call themself by the title, who operate without a code and believe that sadism is nothing more than a license to hurt another person. Thus, the need for a code and identify the ethics behind the title.Up-front, any attempt to identify ethics must include basic standards such as:
Both parties being of minimum legal age
Both parties being competent to legally consent
All physical and mental health considerations of both parties have been made known
The nature, depth and limits on the activities have been previously agreed to by both parties
Consent of the bottom has been given to the activities discussed without any form of duress, coercion, manipulation or barter
and finally, that safewords or some form of safeguard communication is in place that stop or pause play as necessary
Beyond the basics, however, I believe that the ethics of sadism must go beyond that. It must include a dedication to perfecting one's skills and knowledge of the craft long before you ever raise a cane, a commitment to know your bottom to a depth beyond normal play so that you possess a clear understanding of what they want and why they want it and an absolute mandate that the Sadist never brings their outside emotions, such as anger or stress, into a scene (if you are made at the world, no bottom should pay for that). Additionally, it must also include a dedication to maintain a constant awareness of a bottom's capacities throughout any scene.But the real point of the ethics of Sadism lies in the commitment to maintaining all of these beliefs and values during the heart of a scene. It is easy to be ethical before a scene begins, but as the tempo rises, as the pain threshold lies within reach, being ethically strong enough to not get carried away in the thrill and glory of the moment is an ever present challenge. It is there, in that moment when a Sadist must lean into their ethics and remember their responsibility for a bottom's safety, the commitments you made about the scope play, and the dedication to not get sloppy with either technique or intention. In the heat of the moment, you walk the fine line between pleasure and pain, ecstasy and injury, but responsibility requires a strong ethical core to keep your bottom safe and deliver wisely on the gift of the experience you deliver.For me it is the connection I make during play, either physical, as in touch, or verbal, as in checkups, communication and listening. Connection helps remind me my bottom is a person. A person who has placed their body and experiences in my hands. It humbles me and reminds me that without ethics, I am no better than a monster with a whip. It is the ethics of Sadism that keeps me human and allows me to call myself a sadist with a clear conscience. I find it interesting how many hetero males on here list that they are looking for a Dominant Male.
When I contact them, they always go "not looking". So don't check that as someone you are looking for on your profile. It isn't a default so you made that a choice. Be an adult and quit teasing or causing drama.
Thank you. Public Service Announcement
For those who have a tendency to delete their own profiles multiple times in a few weeks just because they're getting contacts from people of a less desirable gender, age, role, or location there is the option to set Mail Controls so that messages from people of:
certain genders- either any, or who identify as certain kinky orientations
outside of specified age ranges
outside of your country of residence
part of a couple's profile
a situation where they have no profile available at the time of contact
... go into the Bulk folder, and thus you don't get a notification that they've contacted you. Depending on how hard-core you are about your filters, you can delete every message that appears in there unread.You can either follow the link I included above, or you can find the Mail Controls button at the top, right-hand corner after clicking on "Read Mail."Now, if you tend to dig into your Bulk Mail no matter what, um, good luck with that. I require you to be
Obedient
To drive/have a car
Live in either Essex, Kent.
2 years experience in both being a Slave in a FLR & munches & parties.
I am very experienced and have been in the kink community sometime. I am a Dominant Sadist Woman and know who suits me = Slave preferred, live out.
I have a toilet = it flushes.
I want a cock that works and a mind that is obedient and creative.
I am busy with life so I am not waiting around. Message me to talk non kink first. UK London, KENT or Essex ONLY.
Happy to block twat wankers. Prefer decent chat.
My late wife whom I lost 10 years ago, loved bondage in many forms. On a trip to vegas I setup a situation to totally driver her mad..... We went out to a nice dinner very well dressed and a show. She attired as follows for it..... thigh boots well heeled, stocking with garters PVC Garter belt, a steel chastity belt no plugs, all under a leather mini skirt, tight strong pvc under bust corset well laced, pvc string bra, covered with a white satin blouse. She was my arm candy for the night. Needless to say she was whispering in my ear delicious thoughts, needs, desires, and beggings to be used. Being so bound and restricted via the chastity belt meant she was not able to effectively finger herself in the booth as we ate and had to endure the knowledge that I controlled her sex and its release. When we retired after some gambling and teasing by both of us, once in the room she seductively stripped her shirt and begged me to release her, i made her spread against window in the hotel room and released her chastity and held her firmly by the hair and ravished her to my pleasure..... that evening she stayed booted and corseted and skirted but bound at the feet and wrists... I took her 2x more that night and she crawled on me begging for cock and talking about how much she was made into a object of sexual pleasure. I gave the new profile a chance, but I am really ready to go back to the 3 sentence minimum. At least then I got a few emails worth my time to open.
Here's a clue: if you contact me first I am not morally obligated to take control of the conversation and begin interrogating you to find out what you want. Introduce yourself using complete sentences and let me know why you're writing to me. Prove that you have read my profile and engage in an active conversation. If you aren't capable of carrying on a conversation online, we aren't compatible. I get asked about the NC and CA location listings in my profile a lot, so let's address it here. Hopefully some of you will read this.
I live in mid-state North Carolina.
I travel to the SF Bay area of CA many times a year, often staying for weeks at a time. It's where I used to live for over 20 + years and I have family there as well.
So, I list both locations, because I'm not opposed to meeting someone in either location, as long as they are also flexible about it. Actually, I think it's the best of both worlds! I just read my profile and realised how dry I made myself sound😮.
I have a very good,often quick witted sense of humour, sometimes sarcastic, but never derogatory.
I love animals, I have cats
I'm generally optimistic, I'm well educated, I do a job I really enjoy even though I work a very weird shift pattern,and so tend to have a lot of free time.
Yes,I'm still an old fashioned strict disciplinarian, but I am also a funny, sometimes eccentric, kind, very romantic, human as well.
Just felt I should add that , try to do myself justice.
Any other questions you have, ask away.,I don't bite,well unless you would like me too 🤣
i do not chase submissives. That is not who I am. I will inform you that you will only receive what you put into a relationship with me. If you expect me to message constantly with demands and orders, you will be sorely disappointed. I have better things to do than bark orders at a blank mind. If I wanted a gimp, I would own one already. My lifestyle demands honesty and respect. I respect those who approach me and I expect the same in return. If you cannot muster basic respect and honesty, I have quite the vocabulary to express my disdain for your lack of upbringing and failure to be worthy of my attention. In the words of the awesome Tracy Chapman
I am too old to go running around wasting my precious energy With my husband's encouragement, I recently had a few dates with a Trump supporter. He was also a cop, which was interesting for me. He was very polite and kind and handsome, so as long as we weren't talking politics, I really enjoyed my time with him. I'm incredibly liberal and happily married to a very liberal husband, so the idea of serving a conservative was a new one for me. But cops always kind of scare me, I only really interact with them if I'm being pulled over, so talking to police officers makes me feel like I'm already guilty of something.
On our third date, I was at his place handcuffed (for the sake of not getting anyone in trouble, they were definitely my handcuffs and not his). He was using my mouth and during a break in the action, I told him it'd be a waste to come down my throat. He didn't need any more encouragement to bend me over his bed, kicking my feet apart. I asked him if this what they meant by "assume the position" and he stuffed my panties in my mouth. So I guess he didn't think that was very funny.
While inside me, he called me his little liberal slut and I groaned and pressed back against him. I wouldn't let anyone call me that in the street but in that moment it was so fucking hot. He took the hint and grabbed both my hips, telling me this is what I was good for. I must have gotten off twice to him degrading me before he finished inside me.
Later we watched Brooklyn 99 while I was still handcuffed and gagged and I rode him to completion. An unexpected but enjoyable time! I'm an open book! Ask me anything!
It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think "Wow, anything!? How brave!" And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different.
When someone says "ask me anything," their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of "more" or stories of "Oh, when that happened to me..." Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from "US" to "ME." And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ.
My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth.
So I admit, when I see "I'm an open book!" I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question.
My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this:
1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me.
2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages
3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it.
What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. "Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?" Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes.
You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you.
My $0.02
~Me Seems like the whole of Cali is on fire. Air is hard to breathe to begin with, so the smoke of course makes it worse. A little surreal to hear the big chinnooks flying over the house. Wishing fall would come right now so I can enjoy the cool crisp mornings and evenings sitting out near the creek. Looking forward to sitting by the lit firepit. =)
Im planning a big trip next spring to upper penisula of Michigan. I am watching alot of van lifers youtube videos and they all say how incredibily gorgeous it is. It is not someplace I have been before and thought maybe I would take a month off and go visit. Come back down towards Tenn. and then back across to Cali.
Ciao ciao!
While a Forever dynamic would be a dream, reality imposes chaos through responsibilities and obligations... adulting is so overrated! Sigh...
It seems that an ongoing, monogamous fwb-mentor may be just right. A way to break out of everyday authority and relish in a degree of submission for a few hours or a weekend, with One who enjoys guiding, protecting, nurturing and maybe a little rough stuff tossed around lol
Priority- learn more, train, practice, grow
and of course praise, reward, make You proud!
cuddles, pillow talk, along with some
romance, dates, outings,
staying in, movies, binge watching etc.
give or take...
BEST WISHES TO ALL
AND MAY YOUR DREAMS FOR THE NEW YEAR
COME TRUE!!!!! 7/25/24- Theres a part of our dynamic that doesnt seem to be acknowleged for what it is..
" Our aim is to connect with the right female who resonates with the idea and has the desire of joining a household but specifically our household... My first girl oversees everyone when I am not present, as work takes me for periods of time. Your domestic duties in the home would be light as its shared amongst the three of you. Simple mundane tasks that your basic upkeep any nucular family household would require, with opportunities to take on more responsibilities if desired over time. Your outward role may be that of a “roommate” or a "housekeeper” to those who don’t know the lifestyle,"
No this doesn't mean were looking for a maid. We're looking for a sub and were trying to make it clear that we expect other people to not understand the lifestyle choices everyone makes and that if you are living in this house you will have house responsibilities and expected to help keep it clean. This is common sense. Yes there are two other females in this home but that doesn't mean you don't get to do anything but be in a bed 24/7.... I mean we have to let you out to shower at some point right? All jokes aside- hoping to find a sub that is service orientated, has slave tendency, or wants to be a slave. OMFG they brought this back!
So A LOT has happend in the few years that the journal section has been off, but here is the rundown, I got a divorce, found my unicorn lil mouse, got a decent job, quit that job for a slightly better job, car died, bought new used car from dealership, car has been in the shop going on 3 times in 30 days and only bought it a little over 3 months ago.... Bought an 85 ford ranger, thought it was a gem but has been a pain in the ass with repair after repair. Almost bring me current... Mouse is in miami for a bit over a week on a vacation paid for by a friend. And the people that we live with gave us a 90 day notice to kick us out YAY! So now we are on the hunt for a cheap appartment if that is eaven possable in todays market. I cheated on my wife, and I wound up paying for it.
I had gone out on my wife, and my sister-in-law found out about it. She told me she wouldn't tell her sister if I agreed to help her. After all, they weren’t that close, and she knew she could be a bitch. I agreed, and she told me to be at her place on Friday night at 8:00. I asked why, and she said you’ll see.
I got there at 8. She met me at the door and asked if I was ready. I replied, “I guess.” She said, “Here’s the deal: me and some friends are having a toy party, and we need someone to demo the toys on.” I was a little nervous, but she said, “Oh, you will enjoy it, and if you want, you can back out." I couldn't let her tell on me, so I agreed. She said follow me to the den.
When we got there, I saw the fuck bench for the first time. She told me to strip and hop up. I asked what it was for, and she said it would be easier to demo cock and ball toys and lubes or anything else. She said, "Hurry up; the girls will be here anytime." So I did, and she strapped me in and then blindfolded me. I never knew who the women were who were there that night. Let's say that, like my sister-in-law, they had more curves than the women in the following video. And you know how much women with curves excite me.
She left the room, and in no time, I could hear voices coming in the living room. Women laughing and drinking and looking at sex toys. After a while, how long I couldn't tell you because I had lost track of all time, I heard her tell them she had another surprise in the den. I hoped that none of these women got too drunk or knew my wife.
They walked in, and they all couldn't believe it. They told her that when she held a party, she held a party. She told them to get their favorite toy and try it out. I could feel hands rubbing my cock and balls and ass. Before long, I felt the first dildo rubbing my lips and then another, and they just seemed to get bigger and farther down my throat. Finally, I heard her say, “Is anyone going to bust this ass cherry, or am I going to have to bust it myself?” I tried to protest but my words came out all muffled and unintelligible because of the dildo that was shoved into my mouth. She said keep that dick down his throat, girl, to keep him quiet.
Well, she had a strap-on belted already because in just a few seconds, she was behind me squirting lube on my ass and fingering it in, and then I felt her pressing the head of her cock against my helpless asshole. She said you need to relax, and you will enjoy this, I promise. She just kept steady pressure, and it just kept stretching me out until it finally popped in. She was a very muscular and sexy gal, and she worked out every day, so I knew she could give me a very good pounding if she wanted. She wanted. As soon as her cock went in, she started fucking slowly but with increasing speed and depth. Before long, she had her feet up on the bench next to my legs and was squatting fucking me with blistering speed and to the point I could feel the sack of the strap-on bottoming out on me. With the cheers of the women, she only seemed to get faster and harder.
Needless to say, I took several "cocks" in both ends before the night was done. She saw the last woman out, then came back. As she was undoing the restraints, she thanked me for going along with the night and making her so proud in front of her friends. She finished freeing me, leaned over, and kissed me. Not a friendly sister-in-law kiss, but a deep, wet, passionate one, which I returned. Without another word, she led my naked ass to her bedroom. I spent the night, and when I awoke, I knew my marriage was over.
With thousands of porno videos out there, I could not find one with a male on a similar bench, but lots of ones with females on all sorts of benches, swings, chairs, etc. This one is almost like my sister-in-law’s, so I include the link more for explanation than demonstration. The second link is a video of how the night seemed to go for me in my mind.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1219988334/spanking-bench-sex-bench-bdsm-bench?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=sex+bench&ref=sr_gallery-1-5&pro=1&organic_search_click=1
https://xhamster.com/videos/anal-extreme-for-kinky-butt-slut-7573248 I thought I knew what was wrong. But I saw a specialist and they talked medical blah blah and so for a few weeks I've been walking around thinking I have a rare cancer. Tests were ordered, biopsies taken, more specialists, antibiotics prescribed. I started mental checklists so if it's worse case scenario I get shit done before I'm not capable. I cried a lot. The not knowing of so many important things that might mean everything. Or nothing. Tests coming back inconclusive, waiting on next steps. It's a lot to add to your agenda since the world doesn't stop for a new crisis. It's tiring to be this stressed.
After all of this, the tests, the time, the tears, that first specialist agreed with my original diagnosis. If they would have listened to me on that first visit I'd be healed by now. Fuck silver linings, I'm pissed.
Not out of the woods just yet, one more specialist to go. But it's looking good enough that I can be uppity about the whole situation. Still, fingers crossed, okay? Thanks.
A good Dominant wants the submissive to be on the same page as them, not only willing to have its limits pushed, but wanting it. Morning, More than once somebody has asked me I must want cookie cutter slaves. No, because each slave is unique to their own desires, their own limitations, their own mindset. Yes, in general slaves and subs everybody has the same basic training tools and experiences at the beginning.
We All are slaves to our desires, so all those are unique they have similar general guidelines no matter from mild to extreme it doesn't matter here's why, WE all walk the path of life each of us take different forks, paths, branches and eventually end up at the same destination. I equate it to being a soldier you have all kinds of different soldiers inside the army, 11 Bravo, 11 Charlie, 18 Bravo, medics, truck drivers,cooks and so forth. Some are just strictly you know clerks, even though we all have the same basic training and We have different individual jobs we all have the same purpose.
Hello :) I have been sick this last week with Covid. I'm finallly getting better but still sneezing alottt but I'm getting better and am soooo thankful for that. I've been feeling very little this last week. wishing I had someone to take care of me a bit. Someday maybe that will happen for me but right now it's just me! I'm glad I can start getting back to normal this week and go back to work. I feel Like I've lost a week of my life truly I have just slept for a week and ate saltine crackers because I haven't been able to taste anything lol. I'm miss writing on here, my old profile had many pages of my writing but I've lost all of that unfortunately. maybe I'll try to write more. I'm sure it won't be super exciting stuff all the time but it helps me get out of my head a bit.
i started talking to an old friend again. I've known him for 8 years which is crazy! Weve always talked about getting together but its hard with the distance and just life things. i am glad we are talking again, he makes me feel safe and special and sometimes that's all I need.
52 master Alpha Male straight master willing to training a cis girl sub slave in London uk for 50s life style LTR ...
I am a master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole), not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to training one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed(with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!.I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake !
-do please answer at this questions to show real interest or if not you just another fake .
-your General Location
-Ease of Relocation (to include any obligations you currently have in your current situation that may complicate relocation)
-Disclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related
-Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons why
-Link to face pictures
Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons whyDisclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related
Contract For Male Dom Master & cis female slave "Slavery" ContractOf my own free will and out of a desire to express my love and devotion to the cis man I love and adore, I offer myself in slavery to my Master only for the period beginning on __________ and ending at noon on_____________. or life.
Although I consider myself to be a slave full-time to Master, during the time period expressed above, I will devote myself completely and totally to the pleasure and desires of my Master, without hesitation or consideration of myself or others.
General Rules
The slave agrees to obey her Master in all respects. her mind, body, heart and time belong to Him. The slave accepts the responsibility of using her safeword when necessary, and trusts implicitly in her Master to respect the use of that safeword. If a condition arises in which the slave needs to use the safeword or gesture, her Master will assess the situation, and determine an appropriate course of action.
The slave shall keep her body available for the use of her Master at all times. In addition, the slave agrees that her Master possesses the right to use her body and no one will be allowed to touch or use the master property (= slave)The slave shall demonstrate her acceptance of her role of service and availability at all times while at home and at other times and places specified by her Master. The slave acknowledges that her Master may use her body or mind in any manner He wishes within the parameters of safety. He may hurt her without reason to please Himself. The slave enjoys the right to cry, scream or beg, but accepts the fact that these heartfelt expressions will not affect her treatment. Further, she accepts that if her Master tires of her noise, he may gag her or take other actions to silence her.(only the safeword will stop the master action)
The slave will answer any questions put to her honestly and directly, and will volunteer any information her Master should know about her physical or emotional condition. While her Master expects His slave to speak honestly and forth rightly about anything that bothers her, she is not to interpret that as permission to whine or complain. she will phrase her concerns politely and respectfully, and then gracefully accept her Master's judgment in these matters without further complaint.(=unless the safe word is pronounced)
The slave will always speak of her Master in terms of love and respect. She will address Him at all times as either "Master" or "Sir," ( see Public Rules of Conduct)
The Master may give the slave "free periods" in His presence during which the slave may express herself openly and freely. There will be no punishments applied during "free periods." It is understood, however, that the slave will continue to address her Master with respect and love at all times and that deviations from this rule are subject to punishment at a later time.
Another ridiculous story you just can't make up, this really happened last night. So. Like most people, I drive to and from work five days a week. I take the same route. I'm not great with directions so while I know a few other ways to get there in theory, I stick with this one way. I had made plans to go out with a colleague friend last night and we were going to meet back at work where she would pick me up and she would do the driving. Perfect. I get back to work, we go out, have a great time, she drops me off at my car at 11:45. I head home the usual way, it should take about a half hour. Only there's construction and an accident and it's jammed beyond belief. So I follow a couple of cars who got off, thinking eh, I'll pick up another road I'm familiar with. And I do. I know this road goes out in my direction so I can start there and find a cross street along the way. So I'm driving. And I'm driving. And it's now well past the thirty minute mark, I don't recognize anything, there are no lights on the road, and I have no cell service to pull up a map. But alright, I have half a tank of gas and I can figure this out. And I keep driving. For over an hour. I get to a road that I know leads me home. But which way? I make a choice and fully commit, because another half hour goes by and I still have no idea where I am, still no lights, still no cell service. I see deer and can confirm the saying about deer in headlights freezing up is accurate. Eventually I realized I made the wrong directional choice and turned around, find my way home. At 1:57. When I say I am directionally challenged, clearly I'm not kidding. i realize the intense magnitude to serve has only increased over the years for me, personally, but i cannot just serve anyone just for the sake of servitude. There has to be substance, depth, attraction, bond and connection. These are ALL important qualities to share for a 1:1 relationship. Please don't insult my intelligence by stating that you are into older women or that you travel to the area frequently. This is not the foundation i hope to build on. i am 60! i wish to grow older with Him and take care of Him as We go through both ups and downs in life together; not to bail when life is difficult to deal with. Most any store you go into now asks you to take a survey when you leave so they know how they can improve. A lot of websites, social media groups, blogs etc, will belittle someone leaving who dares to give feedback about just why. "It's not an airport, you don't have to announce your departure".Those kinds of snarky remarks and the childish attitudes of the users, are often the main reason someone will decide to cease participating in any particular group. Apparently, those managing these sites don't really care why people stop coming back.I myself don't announce my leaving or the reasons for it, I just go. Sometimes I'll check back in a year or two to see if that bunch of people still exists online and often it is gratifying to see that my judgment was correct and the group is dead or almost so.Now, I'm not planning on leaving CS, but I would like to give some feedback if the owners ever read these journal entries. This site is nearly stagnant and I think the long wait to approve a new profile or change an existing one has a lot to do with it. It's a huge turn-off and block to new members, many of whom will leave if they're not able to participate quickly and will probably forget they even created a profile here after a couple of weeks.So, it's the same people here every time. Nothing against any of them, but if they weren't interested in me the last 25 times I was online, I don't think they are gonna leap to to get to know me anytime soon. We need new blood here to keep things moving or CS risks becoming another uninteresting, moribund website.Okay, it took a long time for me to get there but it's been said. Back to surfing.
hooray! My edited profile has been accepted! I didn't see email announcing this, I simply logged today and noticed.
So, the forum is gone. That's too bad: I never got the hang of random chat, and preferred the forums for structured communication with random people around the world.
I'm re-learning the system. When viewing folks who've viewed me, I'm uncertain if there's a way to check someone's location on the mobile app without clicking on their profile: I know that I can do it if they have a photo, but I don't think a phone app has a "mouse over"-type feature as the regular website does.
I really wish that email would filter for distance the way that member searches do. If I'm not looking for folks over a certain number of miles away from me, why would I want mail from them to show up anywhere other than my Bulk mailbox?
Still, with the rumors I've been reading elsewhere about how long it was taking for profiles to get approved, I'm surprised that my account got reinstated so quickly.I took a break from CollarSpace in 2019. If nothing else, this site was good for the occasional coffee date: more likely than not, the person would actually show up. I'm uncertain if things will change, but I'm curious to give it another go. I spent the better part of Friday evening in tight breast bondage. Goddess Tabitha started at the chest wall of each of my breasts and wound the thin rope round and round until each breast felt like it was being crushed.She then had me stand on a stack of books and she took an additional rope and wound it around both breasts then tossed the free end of the rope over the rafter in the living room and tied it off. With a simple slap on my bottom I stepped of the books to hang by my breasts, my toes about six inches off the floor.It was such an awkaward feeling. It felt like each breast was going to explode, it felt like they were going to be ripped from my chest, it felt like I was going to fallover backward all at the same time.She then took a lit candle and ran it around my backside. Bursts of pain and heat here and there making my body jerk adding to the pain in my breasts with each flinch.It didn't last long as my breasts actually started turning very dark, it was heaven and hell all at once. I was so very close to orgasm as she let me downAfter I was untied I had to crawl between her legs to service her needs in gratitude for my training session. I whimpered, begged with my eyes and twerked my hips to tell her how desperally I needed release. She just kissed me and said "not tonight pet, maybe tomorrow"We went to bed and cuddeled until we ferll asleep.I am such a lucky girl :) What it comes to what I'm looking for someone described it quite well for me;
I want a vanilla man, laughing and joking, going out for dinner with me, days out etc etc.
But then the same man to use and abuse me sexually. I am in need of a very long term slave to fully and loyally serve me in all aspects. For me this is not about toys or play scenes. It is real life with real life expectations. I am fully aware of my duties and responsibilities as a owner. I have owned several slaves in the past. Some were short term. Some no longer wished a life as a slave. And one decided that she would prefer serving a different master. None with the commitment to serve no matter what the future holds. That is the one I search for. I live to please you and enhance your life. I love to give you pleasure. I am an adventurous and imaginative lover who cannot get enough of you. And it's still not enough. It will never be enough to compete against the perfect image in your mind of her. The one who is none of those things so you seek me out in the dark. I’ve been looking at what fills my messages lately—and I have questions.
Too many hollow approaches. No restraint. No awareness. No sense of tone.
Just presence without purpose.
And I don’t believe that happens in isolation.
So I’ll ask it directly—
What are you cultivating?
Because the men arriving in my space reflect the environments they’ve been allowed to exist in. If they lack restraint, if they lack discipline, if they don’t understand how to approach with intention… that didn’t come from nowhere.
That was permitted. Reinforced. Played with.
And I’m not interested in inheriting the result of that.
There’s a difference between engaging and indulging.
If you that line long enough, you create men who don’t know how to regulate themselves. Who think access is casual. Who mistake attention for acceptance.
And then they arrive… unrefined.
I find that disappointing.
Because the standard, for me, has always been clear.
The men—and women—who serve me operate at a different level. There is restraint. There is awareness. There is composure.
I don’t lower myself to meet chaos.
And I don’t invest in weakness.
So this is a challenge as much as it is a statement—
Be honest about what you’re building. Be intentional about what you encourage.
Because what you allow will always show up somewhere.
And right now… it’s showing up in my messages.
— Mistress Nikki Vixen What respect means to me
Respect is a versatile word in that it has multiple meanings depending on use.
I mostly see the word respect by the definition to place high or having great esteem or admiration.
This form of respect is something that can not be given, nor can it be taken away as noble words and deeds must earn it.
A second aspect of the word respect is giving consideration or special attention.
I do not like to use respect in this way. I prefer to use the word courtesy instead as it is more often viewed more favorably by audience, especially in the bdsm community
Someone just asked me why I would get politcal on a sex website so here goes for those of you who also don't get it:1) If you're a magat asshole I want zero to do with you. No debates, no compromises just go fuck yourself and leave me alone. You're probably already jerking yourself off which makes you angry enough to fight with a woke liberal female. That's it. No numbers 2 or 3 or beyond. Now do you get it?!!!! (I'm actually a very mild mannered submissive until you show your ignorant asses and that's when my true cunt emerges!!! This shit storm right now is NO joking matter!!!) I've moved from NY to Alcoa Maryville area of Tennessee. I luv exploring fantasy fetish kink n role plays and enjoy upbeat positive minded types who may sometimes also share a luv for the playful sensual side of play. I'm especially interested in finding a bi female who would luv to fill the sister-pimp kind of role... Enjoys helping me build and grow a fairly natural fem identity ideally moving as close as able to passable-ish in closest way I can. She should be able to play dom sub or middle roles with both myself or others we may choose to include which may ideally settle out to a small core of connected poly family lifestylers. Theres lots of room to share ideas and flesh out the characters and roles. If your interested send me a message and let's talk and see if we might share a fun n mischievous sorta chemistry. I should have sum more to come to this journal section soon thanx all The Binder: On Wanting Things Unapologetically
I have been thinking about want lately. The specific texture of it, the way it sits differently when you stop apologizing for the size of it and simply let it exist at full scale. I was raised, as most women are, to want carefully. To want reasonably. To frame ambition as gratitude and desire as practicality and to generally keep the whole operation small enough that no one feels threatened by the outline of it.
I am done with that.
The Binder exists because I am a woman who plans, and planning requires honesty about the destination. So here it is, plainly, without qualification:
I want my dream home. Not a reasonable approximation of it, not a compromise that checks most of the boxes. The actual one, with the particular light in the particular rooms and the space that finally matches the interior life I have been carrying around in a series of spaces too small to hold it properly. A home that looks like me. That is the entire requirement and it is not a small one and I refuse to shrink it.
I want work that deserves me. I have spent enough time being competent inside structures that were not built for someone like me, doing it gracefully, doing it well, doing it without making anyone uncomfortable with how much more I was capable of. The next chapter looks different. I am finishing my degree with the same intention I bring to everything: completely, on my own terms, and as the foundation for whatever comes next rather than a box I am checking for someone else's benefit.
I want Japan and I want Zanzibar and I want the specific feeling of being a woman who moves through the world with enough ease and enough resources that distance stops being a reason and becomes simply a coordinate. I want to stand somewhere I have never stood and feel the particular expansion that travel produces in a person who pays attention. I want more of that, regularly, starting now and not eventually.
And I want to be married again.
To someone who understands, in their bones and not just in theory, what it means to belong to a woman like me. Not a partner who tolerates my nature or finds it interesting from a safe distance. Someone who meets me in public as my equal, carries himself with the kind of presence that makes other people straighten up slightly, and comes home and kneels. Who wears my marks the way some men wear medals: privately, permanently, with the specific pride of someone who earned something real. Who worships not as performance but as orientation, the way a compass points north not because it is trying to but because that is simply what it does.
I want all of it at once. I want it unapologetically and in full. I want the dream home and the passport stamps and the letters after my name and the man who undoes me at the end of a long day by completely undoing himself first.
The Binder is where I keep the map. This is me, reminding myself that the destination is real, that wanting it loudly is not arrogance but clarity, and that a woman who knows precisely what she is building is already most of the way there.
The rest is just time. Got a million cheesy pick up lines to use.
Do you mind if I Slytherin? Who I Am
I believe Mastery begins with self-mastery. I know what I want. I know what it costs. I have the discipline to follow through. Structure isn't a constraint for me, it's the foundation of Mastery. Yield control of your body, behaviors, and attitudes to me, and I will apply equal discipline in sculpting you into my vision of feminine perfection: a strong, confident, beautiful domestic goddess who knows her place is to love, serve, and please her man, and knows exactly how to do all three while being held to the highest standards. Such a treasure is rare, and to be valued accordingly.
What & Who I'm Looking For
Conversation by message primarily. Perhaps supporting someone in exploring their submission and its link to femininity and inner nature more deeply, whether that be just talking about it, coaching, or some degree of connection. Your understanding of where you are is not important, your interest in discussing it is. I am open to and interested in messaging with a range of women at different places in their understanding of themselves. I also love hearing about woman's fantasies (even if they'd never consider living them out), as I write a good deal of erotica and am always looking for good plot material. If you've got some to share, who knows, maybe they'll make it into my next novella.
Some women may just want to chat with someone who genuinely knows this life and will talk about it honestly, without agenda, without pressure, and with equal interest in its non-sexual dimensions as in anything else. That has real value and I mean it when I say I'm glad to have it.
Some are further along. They know what they are but haven't found the right container for it. They want something structured, something that builds over time, a real dynamic even if it lives at a distance. That interests me as well.
And then there is the woman who knows, somewhere beneath the surface, exactly what she is but hasn't found someone who could be trusted with all of it. The need is there, but not the means. A woman who wants not just to be led but to be genuinely shaped. Who understands that submission at its deepest includes being remade over time by someone with a clear and considered vision of what she is and what she could become. That isn't something I take lightly. It is the most intimate thing I know how to do. I'm open to exploring that with the right person, but it is not something I will enter into lightly.
If the right person and the right circumstances were to intersect to where something in-person were to eventually become possible, I'm open to that too. That isn't a promise or a goal I'm pushing toward. It simply exists as a possible future out on the horizon, honestly named for what it is.
Wherever you fall in that range, if this life calls to you in a way you haven't quite been able to satisfy or understand, reach out. You don't need to have it figured out first.
If you find me interesting but are interested in something else - long distance dynamic, roleplay, casual conversation, whatever - reach out. Who knows, maybe you've thought of something I hadn't even considered.
One thing worth knowing: my natural orientation is toward depth rather than breadth. While something is still finding its shape, genuine conversation can begin with more than one person and I welcome it. But I'm not built for maintaining multiple meaningful connections simultaneously. When real depth begins to develop with someone, my attention moves there and stays there. If that means a conversation with someone else has run its natural course, I'll say so directly rather than simply go quiet. That's what honesty looks like in practice. That kind of focused, undivided attention is simply what I prefer to give. Values beyond the flesh
So often I hear from ladies how this guy just wants sex, that guy just wants nudes, or even in a local trend "Doms" charging sex for scenes claiming they deserve it for all the work which gets put in by them :eyeroll:
The desires of the flesh leaves so much unseen. The beauty of the mind, warmth of a heart, passions of ones soul have always been so captivating to me. Even at a young age in gradeschool I found myself writing poems well beyond my years. I was recognizing the fact that the flesh fades. Wrinkles will form. The body changes with stress, kids, injuries, and any number of factors which life throws our way. That "perfect wrapper" was purely a deception and the true beauty laid so much deeper.
So over the years I dated ladies of a wide range of physical descriptions. Race, weight, disabilities, prior traumas, were not detractors but seen as part of the history she had lived and what helped shape her into the wonderful person she was.
I put my heart and soul into the relationship easing away the scars revealing the beautiful lady which laid beneath all those layers. In return I was presented with someone stronger, wiser, and more loving than ever before. It was a healthy wonderful exchange with great rewards.
I took on many scars of my own over the years. My face is wrinkled with the stress of it all. My heart is tired and sore. For all that I took on in my life I have been showing the wear and tear.
Even still I hear those same complaints. Nomatter the smiles I try to bring the story is always the same. Lady's will complain about all the heartache brought by such disgusting leaches which drink their heart and soul dry all while overlooking the guy who can truly love them and treat them as they truly deserve. As more than a piece of flesh, but as that person deserving of support, compliments, a partner truly there for them in this life. The person standing right there next to her through all this heartache crying his own tears at her pain. The one called upon in distress, but never seen truly.
Arrived at the understanding I am best suited to serve under assertive
dominant and demanding female led relation.
Undergoing countless therapy sessions revealed my true submissive nature
As well as a personality trait of a "Pleaser" I gained a newfound revelation that being a submissive
Pleaser is a gift to be cherished and nurtured.
.......this I credit to my therapist, life coach and mentor Natalie whom I adore & respect to the highest degree.
Forever grateful and fortunate to be a student (or subject as she prefers) under this elegant, mature and
extremely intelligent woman. It is nice to have the journal back.
Nothing changes here does it?
Same people and same photos
Same photos and different people. Some younger than they were before!!. some on the other side of the world to previously.
But it is good to have it back Since Collarspace won't let us update our profiles without being down for months....I will do like others and update here.
I am going to be 50 in February 2022.
I have fibromyalgia and have pain on a daily basis. This started about 3 years ago. I have not had any impact play since. I am not sure how I will handle it. Communication and understanding will need to be a big part of a D/s relationsip I am involved in.
I have gained to about 170 lbs. This seems to be common with autoimmune disorders.
I also have herpes. diagnosed 4 years ago. No outbreaks for 18 months now.
I am a grandma to 6 little joys. I can not move out of the Kansas City/Topeka area. My heart would break.
Let me know if there is anything else you would like to know aobut me.
Nothing about my desires have changed, just my body.
Kathy
Feelling thankful these days. And hopeful for the new year.
My family is doing well. Everyone seems to be happy and healthy.
...
Am I still looking for the right Domme? Oh yes
Have I learned a thing or two about how this dynamic works in real life? Oh yes
Do I realize that there are women here (and elsewhere) who prey on submissive men? Oh yes
Is my happiness dependent upon finding my Domme? Oh no
...
My life is happy and fulfilling. But the right Domme would enhance my life.
I was in an open relationship with my ex gf for 5+ years. And I was deeply in love with her. In fact, she was my first love. We didn’t break up for any reason in particular, but perhaps it was the distance - I had moved to the Bay Area and she was traveling back and forth to the East Coast. Years and years ago, we had a funeral back in LA to attend together, so I was staying with her and her family during the time I was in LA. What she doesn’t know about that week is that her brother tried to jump my bones on a day we were alone together after a shower of mine. It caught me completely, completely off guard, and felt totally out of left field. Despite how stunned I was, I had to shut it down (for a multitude of reasons).
However, she happened to tell me a few years ago that I’d been the friend of hers that he’d always crushed on. Makes sense. We’re a few years older than him. I was around more than any of her other friends when we were younger, and I often drove him around quite a bit. I drew a lot of attention from guys, anyway, and she and I were mostly in the closet around family, so it’s unlikely he was even aware of the two of us.
She’s married with kids, living on the East Coast now. I live back in LA again. We get to hangout together when her family migrates to the West Coast for winter. But I also started spending time with her brother again last year. It’s become apparent that he still wants me.
And now I want him, too. I figured I would do a quick about me. This isn't planned and will likely be random and all over the place.First of all, vanilla - as this is the most important thing to me, If we don't connect here, than sexually doesn't matter.I'm an extravert. I find energy in groups and crowds usually(not allways) And I find people fasanating, so I would enjoy people watching sometimes even.However, I would be ok being with an introvert and limiting my actions with groups. This isn't a must and being closed off and contained isn't an issue. It's the relationship that matters and as long as that is strong, I will be happy.I tend to enjoy a little bit of everything. Travelling, hiking, board games, movies and tv, reading. trying new things and activities.My tastes range from Downton Abbey, to Yellowstone, to Battlestar to NCIS(not as much anymore) to parks and rec.I love independant and foreign films/tv as well as classics just as much as anything above.I've become a board game and puzzle nut. It's an interesting way to spend time, have fun and use strategy/think.I enjoy conversations and debating.I'm the sort of person willing to try everything at least once.Some weird/different stuff about me:I am very Ticklish. To the point that if you wish to tickle I have a very strong ask that I be tied down. I have punched people before being unrestrained and flailing about. I do not enjoy it, but I enjoy the pleasure it brings my torturer I guess.I have a fear of heights. I have learned to manage this, I usually have no issue in a plane, on a ladder or even a roof. And if I can hold onto something solid, I am fine. But every now an again(top of a mountain looking over a cliff as one example) I do have that fear crop up.I'm a nudist at heart. I'm fine with nudity and I would be nude all the time if I could. Sometimes I am.I believe I'm undiagnosed ADHD. In no way really bad, but I do have quirks. When I have a list of tasks I can and tend to jump between them mid-task randomly. I can and have been known to fidget usually, usually just my fingers. And other really minor things. Nothing that I feel needs to be managed, it's more of a "wow it's crazy you work like that" sort of response from people when they know me, and like I said, not all the time, but enough it would be noticable long term.The kinky/sex stuff:I'm Pansexual. I have been with both sexes before, maybe I will again. To me it's about the person, not their parts. I have no requirements there, I don't 'need' both sexes in my life and I can and am able to be monogomus.My Limits: No Scat, No felonies.(an aside here - a lot of people say nothing illegial. But public nudity is illegial, and I would do it leading to -), Nothing that involves others without their consent. Wearing a collar in public is just apperal, being naked involves them. Being naked where a kid can see is a felony, so context matters there.No permanent changes without my ok. As soon as I ok being tatooed or pierce once, I'm good forever.Nothing involving friends or family or work without my ok. This includes collars and such.No Degredation. I was picked on as a kid. It wasn't fun. If you want to treat me like crap - no thanks. If you don't want to treat me like a prized pet, a love, a favorite possession, or something like that, I'm not for you. This includes namecalling, and includes for punishment.Humiliation is different, I love humiliation.My main joys(in no ways all)Being controlled/a lack of control. The more real this is, the more I tend to enjoy it.Tell me not to move or else is one thing, tell me not to move and bind me so I can't even if I tried and it's mentally a different level. And no, I don't expect this 24/7 365 or even often, just explaining control is key.Pleasing/serving/bringing smiles. Are you happy? Are you satasfied? Are you smiling? This can be from an act I did - cleaning your kitchen, bringing you to a great orgasm, or just submitting to something difficult for you.Humiliation. This is an aspect of control. Being naked around others is one example. The way I look at it, if it makes me blush or shy it's humiliation.In no ways is that all but the main ones.However note, I'm focused on #2, and that is most important to me. If I cannot and am not pleasing, this wouldn't work for me(and I imagine you either). Some other sexual/relationship notes:I have the mindset that I learn what an owner wants, needs and desires and it's my job to fit inside that, that a possible owner shouldn't need to change for a sub/slave. That I need to find somewhere that I can fit, and mold myself around their desires, fantasies and interests. This includes things like chastity as well as other activities. Some like it, some don't, in the end I can give or take.I have my fantasies and things I'd like to try or do, and I will talk about them if asked or desired. I have a desire to be an open book as best as I can be.Finally and most importantly - I'm looking for a relationship. With that, I would be with a couple as long as if there is another sub, that I am equal to the sub. I do not desire to be a side piece or a toy that is brought out on occasion. Likewise, I'm not looking to be a servent or "domestic only". In most cases that isn't a relationship that is a job. I would be domestic only if it were a relationship, but it would depend on the situation. I think 99% of domestic only searches fall outside that situation.I want someone to accept me for me. If you cannot do that, I will move on. Small changes I can and will make, Big ones I would only make if there is a really good reason(addiction) or something, of which I don't think I have anything currently.I'm not talking what I wear or my haircut or if I'm shaved or not. I'm talking "you can't like this or that because I told you to" sort of stuff. Also, I would like someone who listens to me and who allows me to speak my mind.It doesn't have to be always, or often, It can be at set times, and you do not need to do whatever I speak about or say, but you do need to really listen and understand. I do not want to be a robot.
“Exorcism” Is when the devils leave my body…
“Eroticism”! I meant “eroticism”….
Let's talk about skin care and smelling good
Morning Routine:
Cleansing: I start my day with a mild cleanser to freshen up my face. It’s essential to remove any impurities that may have settled overnight.
Toning: After cleansing, I use a soothing toner. This helps in balancing the skin's pH and prepares it for the next steps.
The moon is big and bright, I'm on my way to work and wondering about you looking up at that moon at the same time as me.
I've been avoiding her gaze, missing you and hating you because I love you. Hating you because if you came and apologized and offered yourself any resolve I have would crumble.
After all I have a collar for your neck. One with both our names. Similar and different.
I want to stop missing you. I want to stop loving you. I want you erased from my mind.
I want you to matter to me as much as I matter to you.
So that when a Raven looks at the moon that it matters only as much as the wolf's gaze. Which, as it turns out, doesn't matter at all Been pondering lots recently, wants, needs, likes, and how different each can be. How they can even be contradictions.
There are rarely simple answers to such pondering, I need to get some work done on the car, but I don't want to, its too bloody cold. Likewise clearing the yard, fixing the stable roof etc. Worst is when my needs/wants/likes means relying on others who can't help by doing their part.
So tomorrow, I'm going to just tidy my desk, await the delivery of new printer, and move so.e of the crap of other people clutteringthe conservatory so I can refill it with my junk FINALLY A NEW STORY !!!
May 31, 2025 - Football player takes a load then wants to have two orgasms!
Sorry I have not written a story in quite some time, but this winter has been rough on me. I think I went through a dark place for a while but I'm feeling much better now that the weather is warming.
Thursday was my birthday and Friday I got a message from football player saying he wanted to come over. For quite some time we've been trying to get him to orgasm twice during one visit. Well, we tried again today.
When he first arrived, I was already in my birthday suit, completely naked relaxing in my easy chair with a hard-on. He came through the door and immediately began to strip his clothes off as always. He looked over at me in the chair and mumbled, "I've really needed this for a while." He started sucking on my cock. It was fantastic. As usual, as I looked down at his broad shoulders, the shoulders of a football player, it only made my cock get harder. He would alternate taking his time on my cock, deep throating it, and sometimes devouring it like a starving person at his first meal in weeks.
I don't like to orgasm this quickly, I like to go to the basement, play for a while and finally drop a load in his ass. But after about 10 minutes of such a wonderful blowjob, even with his mouth full, I heard him say... "I've needed to swallow your load for the longest time."
That was enough to put me over the edge. I tried to hold back a bit longer, but thinking how much he wanted my creamy, salty, sweet cum in his mouth was too much for me. I figured, why not? Maybe today is the day I will have two orgasms. I put my hands on his wide shoulders and felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge.
As he deep-throated me once, and I felt my cock getting lodged in the back of his throat, it was too exciting. I started making the grunting noises so that he knew I was about to fill his mouth. He pulled off my cock almost completely leaving just ahead in his mouth. He wanted to taste everything. And I did not disappoint. I let him have a huge load. I felt ribbon after ribbon of cum squirt into his mouth. He swallowed, and kept sucking. He was definitely attempting to drain me completely dry. My cock was still hard so I just let him keep sucking for a while until he had every last drop out. Then I said, let's head downstairs and take care of you now.
We went downstairs and he hopped into the sling. I put his ankles in the stirrups. There was no need to tell him to scoot down in the sling so I could access his hole more easily, he's done this enough times that he was perfectly positioned. His cock was still hard, and his ass puckered for me. I put a pair of rubber gloves on and started to lube up his hole.
TO READ THE ENTIRE STORY VISIT
https://www.sirkel.top/?collarspace A mediocre Dominant tells, a good Dominant teaches, a excellent Dominant explains ... but a true Dominant Inspires! And I will always be a martyr, I will fill your life with songs
I'll be a wind chime in the window, catching life you throw around
And I will tear apart your bedroom, I'll call you in the night
I will exist in every second just to decorate your life
And when you're done, you can discard me like the others always do
And I will nurse my wounds until another artist stains me new
I will always reassemble to fit perfectly in you
For anybody that decides that I'm of use
Lonely is the muse... Omg this website sucks so bad!
I just had another long well written journal entry disappear because of the broken security measures on here.
Who ever is running this site needs to turn it over to someone who can fix these ridiculous problems!
Long story short, I will not answer one line messages. I don't have time for it.
I feel like I'm being rude for not answering but I get so annoyed with one line messages and it just shows laziness on your part. If you want to get to know me you need to have a lot more to say than just " Hey There" The Pitch
It was late afternoon when Heather asked me to go with her to Jim's office. A few dozen people were still enjoying the pool and patio while listening to music. I followed her into the house and was led to Jim's office. It was masculine looking with leather chairs and a sofa and a mahogany desk. I looked around and there were framed movie posters on the wall. They were gaudy with titles such as Bound Bitch and Mantool. I could read Jim's name on them as directed by. Jim came in, smiled at us and sat down and lit a cigar.
Jim, puffing smoke: I'm so glad you came today. As you can see we're like a family. We have a lot of fun. I don't want you to feel any pressure to do anything so let me explain what this is all about. I make movies as you can see. I've done pretty well. Heather has starred in a lot of them. We both love bondage and want to do a movie with bondage and torture. Not real torture of course.
My sweet baby (looking at Heather) has written a script which I think is dynamite. It's the kind of movie that I think people will want to stay until the end to see what happens. When we saw your scene at the party the other day I said to her that you'd be perfect for it.
Me: I'm not a porn actress.
Jim, grinning: No no we already got that. We think you'd be a good bondage model. We would respect your limits of course and there'll be a female coordinator there the whole time.
Heather: I'm narrating it. I'll be your torturer. You don't have to memorize any lines or anything. We just want to film your reactions to the torments. When we watched you being whipped while being suspended that night we just fell in love with your reactions and emotions.
Me, looking at both of them: Can I see the script?
Heather: Of course! Better yet, would you like to see the torture chamber?
Jim: Go show her the set. Look, no pressure. We understand if you don't want to do this. It'll be fun. Think about and let me know.
Jim got up and shook my hand and smiled. Heather and I left the room and I was led through the cavernous home to a large door with an unlit "Quiet On Set" sign. She opened the door and I looked around.
It was a movie set. The set was a medieval torture chamber with stone (fake) walls. I saw a rotating wheel of pain, a rack, a suspension frame and a crucifix. Everything looked so real. It blew me away.
Heather: So what do you think?
Me: I'm in.
Next up Action!
Since it is difficult to edit the Profile here, I will put most of my information into the Journal.If it is in ALL CAPS it means I have done this and am willing to do again, everything else I am interested in or willing to do or try. ANAL SEXASS PLAYASS WORSHIP AtM BEGGING BLINDFOLDS BODY WORSHIP BONDAGE Cages CANDLE WAXCanes and CROPS Chastity CLOTHED FEMALE NAKED MALECLOTHED MALE NAKED MALE Cock and Ball Torture, CLAMPS, etc.COLLAR AND LEASH Cross Dressing Dildos (HANDHELD & Strap-ons)DOMESTIC SERVICE Electrical Play Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)Enemas Eye Contact Restrictions FACE FUCKFACESITTINGFEM DOMFOOD PLAYFOOT WORSHIP FORCED BI GAGSGINGER, FIGGINGHair Pulling Hairbrush SpankingsHANDCUFFS SHACKLESHoods HOUSEWORK SERVICE HUMILIATIONICE CUBESInterrogation Role PlayJockstraps & UNDERWEAR used as a gagKidnapped Role Play LICKING MALE DOMMassage (GIVING) MASTURBATIONMouthsoaping Object Role Play Open Mouth GagsORAL INTIMACY ORAL SEXORGASM CONTROL AND DENIAL OTK SPANKINGSOUTDOOR BONDAGE PISS and scat play (Scat needs discussion.)Predicament Role Play PUPPY Role Play RIMMINGROLE PLAYING Role Play CHATROUGH SEXSENSORY TOYS Shaved Pubic Hair SPANKING/PADDLINGSPEECH CONTROL SPITTINGSPREADER BARSStockings STRAP & BELTTOYS & VIBRATORS WATERSPORTS WHIPS MY LIMITSThese are Hard Limits! I am not willing to be pushed on these.No Under Age: No one under 18!No Drugs: Of any kind, this includes poppersNo Blood: Yours or Mine!No Diseases or Similar: Condom for anal unless you have a RECENT test results.No Asphyxiation or Breath PlayNo Cuts, Burns, Brands or Tats (On me!)No Injuries: I mean no broken bones, insertions (Sounds, etc) or ANYTHING that may require a trip to the ER!No Punching or Kicking:No Permanent Marks: Nothing that will last more then a day or three. This INCLUDES writing and drawing on me!No Head or Body Shaving:No Public Play: Too many CC cameras and cell phones out there. I do not want to be arrested or see myself on TV or the internet.No Pictures or Video, Live Feeds etc that show my face or identity.Though I am single, I cannot Host but can manage travel within reasonable distances. So, I will not be in Berlin in early September -- that was from 2019 -- but I may be in Berlin in late September, or more likely the second week of October, 2022.
I don't want to update my profile because the approval process can be... not efficient.
Another update per my profile is that I am no longer looking to feminize a male person. It turned out to be a one time curiosity with one very pretty boy, but it doesn't generally turn me on.
Offering Consistency, Seeking Integrity...
To those AFAB individuals who are 35 or younger and Needing to create a Life with an Older Male I offer:
a Consistency of Being,
a Consistency of Purpose,
a Consistency of Safety and Security.
What I Seek in return from this person is that You be a person of Integrity:
That You be Honest in Your Words,
Honorable in Your Actions,
Humble in Your Demeanour.
I know what I require out of someone, I would possess the Whole Package that is YOU...are You one that can surrender That?
As we stand at the threshold between years, there is a natural pause that invites reflection. The closing of 2025 is not merely the turning of a calendar page—it is a moment to breathe, to remember, and to take stock of who we were, what we endured, and how we grew.
2025 was a year that asked much of us.
It was not a year defined by a single event or headline, but by accumulation—of effort, of resilience, of quiet victories and hard lessons. It was a year that reminded us that progress is rarely loud, and strength is often forged in silence.
For many, 2025 began with hope tempered by realism. The world continued to navigate uncertainty—economic shifts, global tensions, evolving technologies, and changing social landscapes. We were asked to adapt yet again, to rethink how we work, how we connect, and how we care for one another. And while adaptation can be exhausting, it is also proof of endurance. We are still here.
This past year reminded us that stability is not guaranteed, but neither is despair. Even in moments of strain, communities showed up. Neighbors helped neighbors. Families reconnected. Friends checked in when it mattered most. In ways both big and small, people chose compassion over indifference—and that choice matters more than we often realize.
2025 also challenged our understanding of time. It moved quickly and slowly all at once. Weeks red together, yet certain moments stand crystal clear: a conversation that changed us, a loss that reshaped us, a success that reminded us of our own capability. These moments form the true record of a year—not the dates, but the meaning we attach to them.
For some, 2025 brought achievement—goals reached, milestones earned, dreams realized after years of effort. For others, it brought disappointment, delay, or grie Many years ago, I was talking to someone on Collarspace and they knew I was, and am, into dehumanization/humiliation play. Hardcore.
I received an email asking me what today was, and being aware that it was International Women's Day, I responded as so. The response that followed was something in the ballpark of since I was sub-human, an to a point, a piece of property, that I must feel pretty humiliated realizing how low I am compared to women who deserve to be recognized on this day.
And it was so deliciously humiliating, degrading, and twistedly hot to me that 5-6 years later, I still remember the interaction. 8/22/23
Didn't know could post again...my my....my writing is elsewhere all of it but feeling shy here....i will have to pick a poem.
The choice was random.
It is heavy, this life:
A mountain
Won't move.
The sun burns.
Carrion feeds
Vulture needs.
Somehow we go:
Wings grow,
Living show
Of how we know
What we sow.
Waves come crashing:
Moon shadow
Pulls and pushes,
Half or full,
The tide hits
Ebb or flow,
Force let's go...
We stand
Together
And alone,
We stand
As One
And two,
We stand
Because
We can...
We stand
On land
Even though
Life hits hard,
We stand...we stand...
We stand,
A Muse,
And a Bard,
We stand,
Unable
To sink
In this crisis
Of quicksand.
August 2023
zamarra
7/27/25
I will be on CS significantly less for a while. That Real World™️ thing gets so annoying at times! *laugh* Please leave a message at the tone, and I'll return your call when I can...
<*BEEP*> When you read my profile and then message me a decent sized message and then include at the bottom "but im against diapers" ... ??? Why did you waste both of our times by messaging me? You know I'm going yo block you, right?
To finish/summarize with that statement is clear proof *You do not understand my needs and just communicated to me that you do not care about my needs. You only expect to have your needs fulfilled- - That is not how this works, at all*
I've been debating giving up diapers and being a little.. but even if I do.. I still want to be with someone who understands and accepts me, someone I don't have to hide any part of myself from.. So stop sending me these messages. With or without diapers, I am not interested in a one-sided dynamic where my needs and my feelings aren't taken into consideration with care.
Thanks,Sassy Hello masters and mistresses. I'm currently available for a short living in scene as a trial for a more perminant master/mistress. One key thing u should know is I do not flake and I am not a fake catfish. I can video chat to prove.
What I forsee In being you sub sissy slave.
First. I am more then willing to be forced to do as you please. ;). I enjoy being over powered shackled or tied. Blindfolded for more excitement and commanded or forced to do as you please. I love chastity enjoy doing house work. I ask for a form of transportation to you. And please don't fret I am 100%. I don't enjoy scams. I'm well aware of them and assure you a genuine sissy here
Please serious inquiries in available to travel upon request. Thank you for reading.
loyal @ ur service
My Experience/Play History
i have engaged in casual play with 4 mistresses, one session each. Two had no idea what they were doing, and couldn't seem to decide what to do next. Those experiences were deeply unsatisfying. The third apparently had no interest in anything but beating me, which She did with brisk enyed it, but there was nothing else. No training, no rules, no laying the groundwork, no teasing, no nothing.
The last was skilled, had a very commanding presence, and went about Her work with energy and direction. Even though it was a brief session, it was quite thrilling. Unfortunately, however, She was all but impossible to communicate with regarding expectations and scheduling and suchlike, and after two weeks of trying to get together again, i gave up. i often regret this.
en regret this.
0 loves
Thank you for all who have congratulated Goddess Tabitha and I on our wedding! Im getting the same questions over and over so Im going to summerize the events of the day here. Was this a BDSM wedding? Not really. The members of our BDSM group all met at Master Geoffery and slave Tammy's home for the ceremony. Master Geoffery actually became a minister in the Universal Life Church so that he could preform our special dayThe food was a potluck. I know what you're thinking but the feast was amazing! Master Richard and slave Wendy brought 6oz lobster tails and Master Thomas and slave Gina brought Ribeyes. There was so much food they only cooked half of the ribeyes as half of a ribeye added to the lobster tails made a huge meal and that doesn't include the clam chowder or the shrimp coctails. If I hadn't been wearing a corsett I would have burst from eating all of that great food.Speaking of my corsett. I wore a white underbust corsett with garter straps and white stockings. I found this absolutly adorable pair of white lace stilettos at JJ's house online. ADORABLE! Goddess Tabitha whispered into my ear during our first dance that aftrer the wedding was over she was claiming my heels as hers LOL She did too!The veil. I found the cutest veils at Davids bridal. Did you know that they have a create your own veil option? I bought one off the rack, but if you're creative you can run wild.We wrote our own vows. Mine were the standard love honor and obey bridal vows adding an oath to my complete submission and obedience for as long as I live. Goddess Tabitha omitted the obedience part and added an oath of Dominance and protection for as long as she lives.I gave her a 1ct solitare from Jarred and she gave me a simple gold band with the word slave inscribed inside. Then she suprised us all by giving me new nipple rings as well. It was so cute!I wasn't wearing my ankle or wrist cuffs but I did have a white leather collar on and it was also new and fit my outfit perfectly.No whips and chains although some of the Doms gave me a seious love pat or two on my ass as we danced lolLastly, for the guys who keep asking, no I wasn't allowed panties and my breasts were bare as it was an undercup corsett. I don't know why the men find that to be such a need to know thingIt was the best day of my life! Oh, again foir the guys, there was NO bdsm play on our wedding night. Just went to bed with the goal of making love as many times as we could.Best day of my entire life! this came to me last night as they do....the multi level.
first level is the lyrics:
"Touch, touch
I remember touch
Touch, touch
I remember touch
Where do I belong?
Touch, I need something more
I remember touch
I need something more in my mind
Touch, I remember touch
Pictures came with touch
A painter in my mind
Tell me what you see
A tourist in a dream
A visitor, it seems
A half-forgotten song
Where do I belong?
Tell me what you see
I need something more
Kiss, suddenly alive
Happiness arrive
Hunger like a storm
How do I begin?
A room within a room
A door behind a door
Touch, where do you lead?
I need something more
Tell me what you see
I need something more
Home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer, you're
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer
You're home, hold on
If love is the answer, you're
Touch, sweet touch
You've given me too much to feel
Sweet touch
You've almost convinced me I'm real
I need something more
I need something more"
love of a 5d radical detachment spiderweb synchronistic beyond the physical vibe ting.
then we go to the actual song for the layer, pauls intonation and the cloudy vibes emphasize...
TO---UU-CCHHH.
TOUCH!
A YEEEEEEEE
re MEM bah TOUCH!
the key is in how he says it...you could simply speak, touch. i. re.mem.ber. touch. but he choses how to speak it in a way that carries a deeper message.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Gkhol2Q1og&pp=ygUPdG91Y2ggZGFmdCBwdW5r
4 years ago this fellow probably scriber made this video. amalgamizing from the person's text video from another daft punk that i actually either didn't see or didn't remember that synched perfectly to it.
i want to emphasize in my 20s i took the blowing up to mean literal but now at 37 forward i see it as radical detachment..the key isn't ejecting it's removing what seems so familiar and deeply you to ascend to another playing level of life. it feels like it's exploding but it actually is simply elevating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP1w5M0F57U
i'll always be salty that daft punk stopped sharing the message and the lessons...but we all know when it's time to let it go and be the merlin like in the 1998 movie that only tells stories. i'm just salty they are simply telling stories and not in it anymore. but whatever i'll get over it. they'll always be grandfathers, masters, ascendedness in more ways than one. and well at least they are still around there's that.
side note on the message if you are on my frequency and you've seen this movie/tv special you are probablllllllllly like me that queen mab was the end beginning and everything and her son mordred is the best boy hottie husband/boyfriend/romantic attraction if men are your deal. if he an arthur we don't want em. funny thing is, with all this esoteric work i've done i've cracked a code that some men that carry the archangel michael energy in their souls tend to have either slightly or obsessively horrible connections with their moms and how it is their personal life lesson to balance their nurturing protective nature in the reflection on earth with their parental upbringing. and wellll mordred babe DEF reflaspects that.
at least for me the key is to be queen mab, bellatrix, galaxia from sailor moon etc. but NOT kill people this time...wield the same thing but be cutting and cunning..but don't go full in. the balance is the lesson this time around. I've gotten love-bombed by two different local people this year. I didn't recognize it the first time and paid for it. I did recognize it this time during a break in online conversation, and I'm glad: I really got to explore what the flags were, how I reacted to them at the time, and how I felt when I realized what I was experiencing.
It seems to work. After all, who doesn't like praise? But when it's praise for stuff that shouldn't be that big of deal from someone who is not disclosing ... anything about themselves, that's a red flag. First Journal Entry in Years
My Age 64 Weight 210 I don't change my profile because it just seems to cause problems.
Right now I am looking for something a bit diffrent. I am hoping to Thru Hike the Appalachian Trail in early 23. I had a hiking partner but it looks like he can not go. So I am looking to hike it with a slave. To others on the trail we will just look like we are hiking together but in fact it will be a very strict old school master slave relationship. Read the rest of my profile and I think you can imagine. It is about 2200 miles will take about 6 months plus a good deal of preperation time. Most can not take the time to do this, most are not able to do this kind of physical challange, most whould not want to do it as a total slave. IF you are not most and are thinking you should be my slave on this hike. Contact me. Be polite and submissive.
Speak On Realistic Expectations and the Woman You Are Serving
Let me be plain with you, because plainness here is a kindness and I have never been interested in the alternative.
I attended a funeral last weekend. Alone.
I want to sit with that for a moment before I say anything else, because it is the most precise illustration I could offer of everything this journal is about. There is a specific and particular indignity in navigating grief in public without someone beside you. Not because I cannot do it, I can do anything alone, I have proven this repeatedly and without fanfare. But because a woman like me should not have to. Because the presence of a devoted and capable partner at your side during the hardest moments of ordinary life is not a luxury. It is what partnership is for. It is, in fact, one of the most fundamental things a serious dynamic should provide: someone who stands beside you in the moments that cost you something, who carries the social weight of difficult occasions, who is simply and solidly there so that you can grieve or endure or simply get through the day without also having to do it visibly alone.
I disdain it. I will not dress that up. I disdain walking into rooms full of people as a woman unaccompanied, not because my worth requires a witness, but because I have built enough of a life to deserve someone who shows up for it completely, including the parts that are not beautiful or exciting or charged with the particular electricity of our dynamic. The funeral is not glamorous. It is not a candlelit dinner or a weekend in Greece. It is a Saturday in grief clothes standing in a room full of loss, and I will do it with my back straight and my composure intact because that is who I am, and I will come home to an empty house afterward, and I will feel the absence of what should be there with the specific sharpness of something that is missing rather than something that never existed.
This is what I mean when I talk about realistic expectations cutting in both directions.
I am a mother first. This is not a disclaimer. It is not an apology. It is the organizing fact of my life around which everything else, including you, arranges itself. I have two children in their preteen years, which anyone who has raised children knows is one of the most demanding and most critical seasons of a young person's life. They require my presence, my attention, my emotional availability, my time, and my energy in quantities that do not leave a remainder to be distributed according to your preferences. If you have arrived here expecting a Goddess with unlimited hours and frictionless availability, you have arrived at the wrong door. This weekend, I had my children. My time was spent on them, because it is exactly where that time should be spent.
I am also finishing my education, because I am a woman who does not stop building herself simply because life has become complex. I work. I manage a household. I carry the particular and invisible weight that women carry, the planning and the anticipating and the holding of a thousand threads simultaneously, the mental labor that has no clock-out time and no weekend.
What this means for you practically is something I need you to hear completely before you decide whether this life is what you actually want or simply what you have romanticized from a comfortable distance.
My time is not abundant. It is finite and it is precious and it is allocated with the precision of someone who cannot afford to waste it. There will be days, entire stretches of days, where the children need me and school demands me and work requires me and what is left over is not nothing but it is quiet and it is mine and I will spend it restoring myself rather than managing your need for attention. This is not neglect. This is the reality of serving a woman with a full and serious life, and if you cannot hold yourself with dignity and purpose during those stretches then you are not the caliber of person this dynamic requires.
A serious long term FLR TPE with a woman like me is not a constant performance of dominance and submission playing out in real time every hour of every day. It is a structure. It is an understanding so deeply embedded in the way we live that it does not require constant activation. It runs underneath everything, informing how the household operates, how decisions are made, how resources are allocated, how your time and energy are directed even when I am at a school pickup or a study session or simply in a bath with the door closed and my phone face down.
Your place in this dynamic is to raise me. Not in the sense that I require raising. In the sense that your devotion, your service, your resources and your effort should be oriented toward elevating my life, reducing my load, creating space around me so that I can be the mother, the student, the professional, and the Goddess that I am without the additional friction of a partner who has become another item on my list of things to manage.
You are not here to add to my weight. You are here to carry some of it.
That means the household runs because you run it. It means my children's lives are easier because our home is stable and managed and full of the kind of calm that only exists when someone competent is handling the infrastructure of daily life with care. It means you have found your purpose and your structure in the service itself, not in the moments of explicit dynamic play, because those moments are real but they are not the whole of what this is. The whole of what this is lives in the Tuesday afternoon when I have a deadline and a tired child and you have already handled dinner and the house is quiet and I can do what I need to do because you have made space for it.
It lives in the Saturday morning of a funeral when I do not have to walk in alone.
That is the submission I am describing. Not the aesthetic of it. The actual weight-bearing practice of it, daily, in the ordinary moments that make up most of a life. The grief clothes and the school pickups and the late study nights and the hard weekends. The presence that does not require the occasion to be significant in order to show up for it completely.
If you can find your satisfaction there, in the real and unglamorous work of elevating another person's existence, then you understand something essential about what I am offering and what I require. The collar and the candlelight exist. They are real and they are extraordinary. But they rest on a foundation of consistent, intelligent, humble service that asks nothing of me except that I receive it well.
I receive it very well.
But you have to bring it first, and bring it correctly, and bring it to the funeral as readily as you bring it to the beautiful moments, because the funeral is where it counts the most and the beautiful moments are easy.
I am worth the patience. I am worth the long view. I am worth showing up for on the hard Saturdays.
The question is whether you are the person who actually does. Master's WritingsCategorizing Levels of SubmissionOthers, in an attempt to categorize submissives, have described submissives by the levels of their submission, moving from role play to slave, while others suggest there are distinct categories of submission, where the motivation behind one’s submission drives their role such as for fantasy, relationship and/or fetish. Acknowledging that all submissives are different and any such categories could only apply in the loosest of terms, I find both model instructive in its own way, yet somehow missing the mark in some aspaspects.The creators of both models clearly identified that each individual submissive is unique and comes to their submission and depth of submission in their own way for their own purpose. And to this, I completely agree. Yet we are humans and we live to label things, so I will offer my own model, recognizing full well that mine too will fall short of describing all submissives and their motivations. I would also note that what I suggest here may have already been put forth. If so, I offer this only as my own ideas without the knowledge of their contribution to our body of knowledge. Thus I would offer a third model for consideration and discussion.I see it more a kin to the structure of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs, Where Maslow identifies our most basic needs, moving from basic survival to self-actualization, I see submissions moving from role play to self-realization. The model I put forth is as follows:
Role play. A connection to the role based on whatever preconceptions or second hand knowledge they may have. While one might act the part, they have no emotional or mental connection to the role.
Exploration. The beginning stages of submissive awareness where thru trial and error or training, real experiences begin the development of a connection to a submissive’s awareness and one's submissive self. This level usually includes an over indulgence or over compensation of doing what they think a sub "should do".
Connection. The birth of inner connectedness to one’s submissive self, and the realization of what it feels like to give of one’s self to another. Hallmarked by a greater sense of self awareness, a growing identity as a submissive and a struggling to reconcile their submissive life with their vanilla life.
Identity and Belonging. The inner awareness and shift of self-identity as a submissive or having submissive side (as in a switch), as a genuine and acknowledged part of their persona. While they may not share this openly with others, inwardly there is a growing conviction that being a submissive is core to their being. While connection can occur at any stage, at this stage, connection to a Dominant becomes more essential to allow for further growth.
Confidence. As identity as a submissive grows and self-esteem relating to the role increases, their confidence of self grows. The focus can now be more inward to understand their submissive needs, who they are as a submissive, and the beginning of blending their submissive self into their vanilla life and identity.
Self-Realization and Connectedness to their Id. Full acceptance of their new identity, as submission is fully integrated into their sense of self. Submission can now fuel their lives and relationships with greater meaning and richer experiences as they fully integrate their submissive-self into their vanilla life. Not every submissive will reach or choose to reach this level.
I would welcome comments and ideas for the improvement of this model if others see value in it. It has been a long time since I wrote in my journal. My search for a collar got delayed due to covid and only now am I trying to get active agin in my search. I still have the burning desire to be owned as primarily a sex slave. I can do domestic but I feel my true calling is to be a fucktoy for Master and his friends and acquantances.
I am also hopeing to find a Master experienced in electro. I have a little electro device that I use on myself but need Master with better device and ability to push my limits. I find it hard to keep it on high settings and dont seem to have the strength to do it to myself.
I am getting a new truck so I will be better able to travel for interviews/inspections/trials.
I hope to get some contacts soon.
If you sincerely intend to be of use to a woman, approach her with a modicum of respect.
Have the decency to understand her requirements and accept that you won't meet every woman's needs.
For the love of all things good:
Don't barrage her with one liners like you're texting.
Do NOT force yourself on her like Bill Cosby or Harvey Weinstein.
Don't send pics unless asked, most certainly not nudes.
Don't treat her like a fetish Pez dispenser.
If she does not respond, she's either busy or uninterested. ONE additional respectful follow up is sufficient Blowing up her inbox is only going to get you blocked.
Accept a NO with grace. No response or a thank you is sufficient. Berating her or calling her names only shows her rejection to have been 100% accurate. (Still can't believe I have to point this one out....!!!)
Update: I am still seeking a long term D/s relationship where I serve as the sub and slave partner. I seek a dominant partner who is confident, sane and enjoys (demands) the giving of prolonged oral service and pleasure to any and all parts of the body.
I currently reside in the South East but am seeking to relocate, (such as Scotland) whilst I can still mainly work from home. However, I can relocate to a more benficial location if that is preferred by my new partner / owner.
I am polite, respetful and eager to please but do not respond well to people who are rude.
All set with game players and time wasters and dream killers.
I don't lie, cheat or steal.
I am looking for the right slave. Correction, I am looking for a right connection and a decent human being who knows how to treat a woman, and wants to explore together. A right male is MORE THAN ENOUGH to be by My side and in reasonable good time. I am looking for a live in relationship, not email, phone or text. I'm dominant and that isn't going to change. I feel no threat from a man who knows his mind and has the ability to speak up for himself and be a team player. Welcome. We can co-rule our own little world together.
My mother lives with Me and has Alzheimer's. You serve Me, you serve She. You are with Me, you are with her.
Be real and ready to communicate effectively and get to know one another in the flesh.
Be terrific in your own right. I require a man who is strong enough to champion Me and I offer nothing less in return.
DON'T
WASTE
MY
TIME.
Living in a polyamorous household, where multiple individuals have consensually chosen to have romantic and/or sexual relationships with one another, can have numerous benefits for all members involved.
One of the most obvious benefits is financial. By sharing living expenses and resources, such as a home, transportation, and household goods, members of a polyamorous household can reduce their individual expenses and potentially increase their savings. In addition, having multiple partners can provide emotional and practical support, which can result in reduced stress and better financial decision making.
On the social level, living in a polyamorous household can also be beneficial. Members can form deep and meaningful connections with multiple partners, providing a greater sense of belonging and connectedness. In addition, the open communication and negotiated boundaries that are typically a part of polyamorous relationships can lead to a greater sense of trust and understanding among all members.
On the psychological level, living in a polyamorous household can also have positive effects. For example, being able to form romantic and sexual connections with multiple partners can provide a greater sense of self-worth and self-esteem. In addition, having multiple partners can also provide a sense of security and emotional support, which can lead to greater overall well-being.
However, it is important to note that living in a polyamorous household is not without its challenges. For example, jealousy and insecurity can sometimes arise, and open communication and a willingness to work through these challenges is crucial for the success of the relationship. In addition, it can also be difficult to navigate societal judgments and discrimination against non-traditional relationship structures.
In conclusion, living in a polyamorous household can provide numerous benefits for its members, including financial, social, and psychological advantages. While it may not be for everyone, those who choose to live in such a household can find that the benefits outweigh the challenges, leading to a happier and more fulfilled life. Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel girl it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl
"Girl, how do you feel being a girl? (Girl, girl, girl)
Girl, how do you feel being a girl, girl? (Girl, girl)
Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl (girl, girl, girl, girl)
Yeah, I don't know if you like me
Sometimes I think you might hate me
Sometimes I think I might hate you
Maybe you just wanna be me
You always say, "Let's go out"
So we go eat at a restaurant
Sometimes it feels a bit awkward
'Cause we don't have much in common
People say we're alike
They say we've got the same hair
We talk about making music
But I don't know if it's honest
Can't tell if you wanna see me
Falling over and failing
And you can't tell what you're feeling
I think I know how you feel
The industry loves to spin
And when we put this to bed
The internet will go crazy
I'm glad I know how you feel
'Cause I ride for you, Charli (Charli, Charli)"
this one is going to be shorter than usual because charli and lorde said it all.
in the sophia context, carli is me. lorde is me. all the music performers are me. on a bigger screen.
it's not the first time i've said it's not the last.
if you are especially resonating with mjy writing, my profile, my page and you're femme(afab, woman, transgender, third gender, non gender, queer, femme man, metrosexual, whatever the label, the sophia aka divine feminine original soul is fluid...feminity is fluid and therefore the body and gender identity is wild in it's presentation on the spiritual tip) alternative, dark goddess, quirky, subversive, love different, feel different, relationship different, kink oriented, gothy, kawaii y, nerd y, geeky, on the add/austim 'spectrum' label or not, atheist or not, attracted to mermaids, space, aliens, sanrio, all the things....you might be me too.
you might be charli too.
you might be lorde too.
the lyrics say it.....our ages are different, our race is vast, our locations are vast. the way it played out is slightly different.
but there's a deep pattern. this soul is a stubborn bitch raging against the 'music industry' of life..the structure that isn't right isnt' working.....we're given harder deals of life than most. we're touching hard subjaspects of emotions relationships crappy family origins, and rough deals. we're touching a sense of deep loneliness and otherness when other ladies get to fit in and feel accepted at a level we never will...from someone like me who literally navigates 3d alone with a deep rich online community and community of people who love me but have more obligations and stuff that just translates to a more distant but deep resonnance.....to someone who has a husband or wife or partner and kids and family but still has that deep sense of not fitting in.
we feel deeply we love deeply we devour those we love and we have a fierceness in us that is trying to be quelled and normalized and packaged....we can only be eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and scott pligram in portions us.
not just in our head....our livelihoods, our housing, our basic needs at times or maybe not basic..just the words actions of others viscerally tell us....
we can't be us..shape up morph and change or get destroyed.
and were dark goddesses.
we don't cave in like the others and submit.
we know we're up against the powers at control and we still fight back even if we fall fucking hard. but we don't' give in....we don't become torturous violent vicious spirits....we hold our light navigating the tight rope of dark and being fully consumed by the abyss. we keep creating we keep screaming into the void we keep doing like sister lana says, 'our rare jazz collection, our beat poetry' we're so talented at our individual souls gifts in this bigger puzzle 'we can sing most anything' even when the 3d world doesn't properly compensate or secure us for this.
"Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl
Girl, girl, girl, girl
Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl
Girl, girl, girl, girl
Girl, how do you feel being a girl?"
i have this higher perspective where my spirituality and deep inner work has cracked a code. in the auras of pictures or the words or just the being i see it.
you're definately separate from me.
but on a deep level i see it.
you're me. even if they don't' see it or recognize it or want to admit it...deep down i know.
you're me too.
"Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl
Girl, girl, girl, girl
Yeah, I don't know if you like me
Sometimes I think you might hate me
Sometimes I think I might hate you
Maybe you just wanna be me
You always say, "Let's go out"
So we go eat at a restaurant
Sometimes it feels a bit awkward
'Cause we don't have much in common
People say we're alike
They say we've got the same hair
We talk about making music
But I don't know if it's honest
Can't tell if you wanna see me
Falling over and failing
And you can't tell what you're feeling
I think I know how you feel"
i navigate being on my own dark goddess/alt girl sophia journey but a deeper level of what i am.
(if anyone is curious and wants a book reference that energetically activates this on a deep level, check out sister kaia ra. trigger warning early on without warning she talks about her betrayal and incursion event of why she had to grow up fast and what most people hear and think is heinous and something you can't recover from....her's is more intense than mine..the control is the family of origin 'hero's journey' but the variable is the degree to which it happened in this experiment on earth. and because she's where she's at she doesn't trigger warning or hide it. she's raw and says it. )
when i see one of us breaking because their michaels hurt their heart and their daddy let them down i break. not because it just happened to me but i feel that collective hurt. when i see the struggles with our whack ass mom or sometimes dad, usually mom i grieve not just because of my own situation. when i see the world take us out of our work or shit on our dreams i feel it so deeply. when i see us struggling with the physical issues of chronic whatever this or that or whatever issue we have because the body takes the toll i hear it. we're navigating a world that as the song says loves to see us not united. focus on the little variables of what makes us different and not support us.
"I was so lost in my head
And scared to be in your pictures
'Cause for the last couple years
I've been at war in my body
I tried to starve myself thinner
And then I gained all the weight back
I was trapped in a hatred
And your life seemed so awesome
I never thought for a second
My voice was in your head
"Girl, you walk like On fitness...
Having a partner who's physically active and fit has always been important. I want someone who is full of energy and excitement and can keep up, lol. In the past, I've never really been attracted to guys who spend all of their time at the gym. For one thing, there's just more to life but second, I'm generally not attracted to huge muscle, gorilla types.
I recently spent several months with a retired firefighter-turned-chemist. Since he's retired, he wasn't nearly as bulky as he was in old photos--thank goodness. But clearly he still took care of himself. In bed one night, in a playful, flirty moment, he reached his arm over and wrapped it around My waist and in seconds I found Myself on top of him. I was almost a foot away from him but at 6ft+ tall, he definitely had a decent wing span. As I said, it was a playful moment but My word...it was also really fucking sexy. Obviously, I had to stick around for a few months to see what else he could do. ;)
I don't know what exercises you need to do at the gym to be able to lift 135lbs with one arm, but do those, lol. Don't do them until you don't have a neck anymore, because that's overkill. We're going for actual strength not just what strength looks like.
Shopping for harnesses makes me want to design a more woman friendly design
We are now in the land of 2022
And even now after all of these years, at least on Collarme, whoops I meant to write Collarspace the thing that pisses people off the most is not what one would expect.
I think we all had our share of quote, unquote BOT PROFILES or that one LMAO several fake Doms, Dommes, or anyone for that matter
The punctuation and grammar grid is irritating as hell at times.
But of all of these and some, I have not pointed out.
The biggest ASSHAT of them all is trying to keep your profile CURRENT with new information, likes or dislikes, and even updated photos.
I dare any to disagree with me, especially reading some profiles lately how some have been locked out of their accounts still PENDING approval, LIKE WTF is really going on???
One of the main reasons even as a DaddyDom I am afraid to update my account, this is supposed to be a joke but I am serious as an old man busting a nut, a heart attack!!!
But I digress... 08/18/2024
I'm not on here that much right now, but when I am - IF you decide to send me a message, do NOT refer to me as sub, or slut or whatever other word you may have in your head.
That is RUDE and the ONLY one that will address me like that is the one who OWNS me and that is obviously not you.
I may be a bitch.. but I am not your bitch.
For those that have been very respectful to me and have offered great conversation and shared knowledge and time with me - Thank You. I walked in, saw her, sat down and was pleased when she lowered her eyes from mine. The munch suddenly didn't smother like usual.
I took her home, got down to skivvies, but she wouldn't lower them for her spanking, which earned her an introduction to Earnie. Rhino Hide thudds so soundly. She kept begging for more.
After I came all over her back, I got her dressed and we sat down over coffee, and talked. She was slightly annoyed when the subject of her masculine gender taped up under those skivvies had not been her giveaway. I had spotted her as the CrossDresser she was, in the same breath that I spotted her deeply seated masochism. We spent the summer bruising her. I did insist on silk panties for the rest of our sessions. It does a wonderful job of administering a bruise from the cane or batt that cotton tiddy-whities cannot. I built stocks, hoisting timbers, made leather suspension cuffs that broke when we tried them. I was crushed, darn it. Stuck to shibari after that.
Collaring
It's come to my attention that a lot of Dom's don't have any formal collaring ceremony and tend to awkwardly wing it. There's nothing wrong with that, we all started somewhere. I'm writing this for those Dom's who need a "Step 1" since you can't exactly go to chatgpt and ask for this. This comes after vetting, after ensuring compatibility and establishing limits.
Couple things to know about my dynamic before we go further.
First, every girl has their "enterance name". Something simple like little one or pretty girl, generic.
Then this is when they get both their collar and their slave name. In this case the girl is going from "pretty girl" to "princess".
I begin:
The room is dim, but there are a few candles lit, casting a glow.
The applicant (as I call the new girls) kneels next to Puppy, jewel of my harem, which is a mix between a den mother and a mother superior.
I slowly settle into my chair across the room from those two and look directly at the new girl who instinctively lowers her eyes, but lets out the slightest hint of a smile.
"Lower your forehead to the floor, and begin crawling towards me," I tell her before she slowly obeys.
I begin to recite as she crawls towards me and away from puppy:
"For as long as man has walked beside animals he has used collars for a simple reason: To mark his possessions. To control them via means of a leash or just holding the collar.
To show that they belong to someone.
A collar tells others that this one is not stray, or unclaimed.
A collar says something. Pride. Identity. Belonging.
But above all that? It shows you are owned."
I then reach down, and wrap the collar around her throat. she still hasn't looked up, her forehead still pressed to the floor. I gently lift her chin and smile, and look into her eyes.
"Hello, pretty girl. My name is Master, and yours is Princess"
Usually there's a soft "hi" and a smile.
What you do after this is completely up to you, but I usually turn my personality all the way back on and say something akin to "OK get your ass over here" and wrap her up in a bear hug.
Couple notes:
I paced myself, matching my cadence to her speed and being careful to finish as she approached. If need be take a moment to tell her to slow down or speed up. Do so with swiftness and command. Something like
"I'm sure your more eager to receive your collar than that. you can move a little faster." or
"This isnt a race, you will slow down, breathe."
I maintain a strict "sir" only name until this point. I am a random dom, therefore I am sir. Its only after she's collared that its official and she can call me Master, Daddy, or whatever was decided upon. The name she was gonna call me was established long ago. I've got a whole post called "Whats in a name?".
Take this, modify it to your own needs, critique it, and enjoy.
Youngens pass them by but I’m here to set you straight on a few things. First of all mature subs are not in a rush you I like a chefs choice at an exclusive restaurant where only a few are allowed to dine. They savor You as if you were a ridiculously expensive champagne. They can sense your reactions much faster as they’re concerned about your pleasure and in doing so they receive pleasure. So I don’t miss out on a tongue fest because it’s not the dick you want
Some upsetting news
This I hope will explain my current emotional feelings. Because I've recently received some truly unexpected and unsettling news, and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to process. I'm honestly struggling to even articulate the situation clearly, as the information is still so raw and shocking.I won't go into the details right now, mostly because I’m still trying to make sense of everything myself. But suffice it to say, it's emotionally traumatizing, and it's completely thrown me off balance.Right now, I'm feeling overwhelmed, numb, anxious, lost, and angry.It's like the ground has shifted beneath my feet, and I'm having a hard time figuring out which way to go.The biggest challenge I'm facing is deciding how to proceed.This news has so many implications, and I'm feeling completely lost in trying to navigate the situation. I'm worried about making the wrong decisions, and I'm unsure of who to turn to for guidance.
I am finding more people reaching out to me from out of state. While I don't mind chatting, some just send the how are you or other similar message, then don't really converse or may even ghost me. Then a couple months go by, and some even come back again with the how are you. I have stated in my profile at one point that if you are not in my state and not willing to relocate yourself to not contact me. At one point I had a guy reach out to me asking if I would take on his fiance and train her as a sub. I tbought why not.
He was willing to pay to send her to me and cover all costs. We had a good conversation going on for almost a month. He sent me photos, we discussed different scenarios. He then asked if I would keep her as my own and not let her come back to him and kept pushing that as if he did not want her. After several messages, I noticed he was fishing for info that I was not willing to give and after a while, he blocked me. I wasted all that time chatting for something that ended up being a fishing scam. So be aware of the conversation you have with others. I have a rule not to give out personal information specifically for these reasons. I have had many people attempt to use information to try and blackmail me. What they don't realize is that I don't care. If they want to out me to family or frineds......be my guest. Most family I have on my social media don't care and some even know about my lifestyle choices. I had someone also reach out to me asking for me to relocate them to my area from another state. Thisnwas the first red flag as I clearly stated in my profile that I would not. I even went as far as to start texting via phone and text messaging directly. Their story was so convincing. However that old addage of if it sounds too good to be true it probably is. I ended up blocking them because I just had a bad feeling about the while situation. They were asking me to do some crazy things that were either borderline illegal or plain out against the law.
Long story short. I am so done with the lack of reading my profile and asking me to do shit that I cleay stated I would not. I am tired of the short how are you doing messages. I put a little more effort into my messages so I expect a little more substance. I understand and am more than happy to be adult about discussing things, and if by chance we are not a match am more than happy to say lets be friends or even go our seperate ways. Just be adult enough to say it rather than blocking me or ghosting me. We can all be adults here. Let's act like it and not be like we were in middle school.
For now, end of rant. I do use the block member button regularly and am more than happy to also report users that appear to be breaking the rules on the site or in some cases the law. We are all here for a reason. Mine is to connect with like minded local people and see what may come of it and at the very least hope that I can make a new friend
Yet another update as of May 20 2023. I shouldn't have to say this but if you are old enough to be my parents then we will not play in any capacity. I will only go 5 years older or younger than myself and I will be 30 in October, do the math. Also note that again as it states in my profile that if you act like you own me I will not even entertain the idea. I am not some rug that you can walk on. I have more experience in my pinky than some of you who claim to have more than 5 years in Master Slave situations. I do not have to respond to every message seeing as I get over 100 a day I will only reply to those that intrest me and have put actual thought into their message. Seems like thats asking too much for you because you want to get your rocks off? Well that's too damn bad. I'm off to snuggle up with my cat and play my game of Who Actually Reads Shit. Consent (a poem from one of my slaves)
Tell me what you want.
Tell me it all. Speak your truth And I promise I will listen With kindness in my heart. Your desires are yours and I am touched by your trust. You are safe to share all this with me. Ask me. My answer will be given with care. Expect nothing of me, except my honesty. Accept my honesty. I will ask the same of you.
I said no to the one who had all the right answers I said no to the one who demanded my attention I said no to the one who invaded my personal space I said no to the one who said I was gorgeous and expected me to be grateful I said no to the one I said yes to last week I said no to the one who grabbed my hand I said no to the one who was ambiguous and shifty I said no to the one who stole a kiss I said no to the one who got me drunk I said no to the one who bought me dinner I said no to the one who was incredibly good-looking and that’s all I said no to the one who told me things I already knew I said no to the one who touched my knee without asking I said no to the one who didn’t listen I said no to the one who said I was the one I said no to the one who thought I was their missing piece I said no to the one who just assumed I said no to the one who I just didn’t really like I said no to the one who got angry I said no to the one who pinched my arse I said no to the one who was lying to their lover I said no to the one who sent me a picture I didn’t ask for I said no to the one who was pompous I said no to the one who wanted me all to them self I said no to the one who didn’t want to take no for an answer
I said no to entitlement And so did you.
You didn’t move as you spoke, you just looked me in the eyes. You wanted and you hoped and I could see your truth. And I asked you, “What do you want to do?”
“I want to fuck you” you said. “I want to hurt you and enjoy the pain in your eyes” you said. “I want to degrade you and use you and make you my slave” you said.
And I gave you my answer. I moved to NH around a year and half ago. I grew up here but lived in the Pacific NW for 30 years. I returned to be a caregiver for my mother after my father died in 2020. When I first returened I put some effort into finding a Dominant Women to serve. I was unsuccessful and eventually my commitment made it impossible to continue that search. So for most of the past year I have just lurked here, looking at profiles and contemplating what could be.
I now find myself without commintment and wish to again search for a Dominant to serve. I am free to live where I choose though I have many loose ends here to deal with.
I am looking for an intelligent Dominant who enjoys the mental aspect of control and who is looking for someone who is ready to learn how to be that which they wish. I am healthy, intelligent, creative and in good shape. I am financially secure. I enjoy being service oriented and wish to please my Dominant and make their life easier. I enjoy travel and learning new things. Helping others and being a good first mate to my Captain.
I welcome any correspondence and will also be initiating contact with the profiles I admire and dream about. I hope every one has had a great 2023 so far and who also has not lost hope as to what could be. When I wrote my profile, I had no idea what this site was like, but now that I've been here for a little while, I have a few things to add:I'm not interested in slaves, domestic servants or switches. This should go without saying, but I'm also not interested in men who aren't single. Long distance relationships don't work. If you don't currently live in (or near enough to conveniently drive to) the state of Florida, we will not be a match.My inbox has been flooded with messages from nameless, faceless guys who want to chat, but I'm not on this site looking for anonymous penpals. I'm sorry.I'm not interested in talking to submissives without photos. You've seen my face. If you feel uncomfortable showing me yours, that's totally fine, but if you're just words on a screen, I'm not going to be able to take you seriously. I am monogamous, and I have absolutely no interest in cuckolding. If that sort of thing interests you, you are not a candidate for the kind of relationship I'm looking for, so please don't waste my time or yours. I am glad some of these supposed subs from CT think lying is acceptable communication and then when I call them out on it they think I am offended.
That does not offend me, just shows me who you are, and who you are is not someone I would put up with. You see on a person's
profile there is a place write a comment they can't see, so when you make loop and act the you never spoke to me before, hmm my bad.
I am not offended in the least but you are blocked from looping around against and FYI don't ever try to blame it on the distance you knew where I was
the first time but you had me make appt anyways oh oh not one but 2. Don't get a 3rd this isn't baseball.
And the guy who said hey I will catch you when your back on top, do you think my leg will grow back or something. Be aware that I am poly when applying to be mine and you need to drive and have your own car so we can attend munches & fetish clubs together. The focus is knowing each, being compatible in a relationship BEFORE kink occurs.
IF you put kink first book a ProDomme which isn't Me. I am a Lifestyle Dominant Sadist Woman near London, Essex and Kent. Remember be near those locations living close to one.of those locations.
Meanwhile Wembley this Sunday!!! new year new problems
do you believe in fate? i only ask because there was a point in time where i was sure i had a good plan/path to transition that fell through so hard, it turned into a nearly two decade attempt at trying to bury what turned out to be a key part of me.
on the more peaceful side of things, something i figured was Never Gonna Happen ends up very real and This Is Us Now because hearts and minds change? or maybe being with someone that's actively on gender affirming hormones means you get the horrible reality of what the sex life is now.
but what does it mean? who is to say really. realistically nothing changes because the horrible problem with fate is that, ultimately, the destination at hand is supposedly set in stone and it's a path i've attempted and failed before.
so what can change this time besides the path that leads right back to that same void?
I lost my voice a week ago, and am still recovering from it.
I attended a street fair yesterday with a friend: between gesturing, my smartphone, and her I managed to communicate with others when necessary, but I agree: if this keeps up for much longer, I may need to learn sign language.Still, it was lovely to just have a last minute adventure. It's been a while. Well it's been a bit but I'm still here... I know, darn! LolI've been busy the rodeo royalty competition was a bust and very anger inducing not because I lost, because the individual who won used a racial slur against another person in the competition and was not only allowed to continue the competition but won?!?!?!??!!!! Yeah... you can see where this doesn't set well...
I've been nominated for the vice president position of my association but don't think I want it... I'm debating a hiatus, I think I'm due the break...
the working out has been not as steady no thanks to illnesses and injuries but regardless I am still working out 3-4 times weekly...
yeah I'm still determined This scenario is what I prefer my Sex life to look like. If you want more, then please look elsewhere and stop messaging me. I'm looking for the man who wants this. An intense stress relief on Friday night with a late dinner out and jacking off or titty fucking me daily or close to daily during the week. I adore waking Up to a rough titty fuck and being displayed with his cum drying on me while he showers. A quick inspection and some lovely kisses but no relief for my sweet pussy that is being for attentio. Once the cum is dry, I'm off to shower a d get my day started. I'm even up for more use as your personal cum rag in the evening if we aren't busy with vanilla life.
Other than being incredibly turned on by my preferred kink, it has some advantages. There Is no unwanted pregnancy and the risk of catching an STD is incredibly low. By the time a rare and special event happens and we have penetrating sex I should be assured that the risk of an std is zero.
I Don’t Know Where My Poppa Is: A Little Girl’s Song, An Adult Woman’s Pain
"Food & Liquor" by Lupe Fiasco has always hit different for me, but tonight, "He Say She Say" felt like it was speaking straight to my soul.
"You see what his problem is
He don’t know where his poppa is…"
It’s one of those songs where the lyrics carry everything. No extra words needed from me. Just sitting here feeling it deeply—for the child in the story, for the mom trying her best, and how it translates to me as an adult woman with a little girl inside who never went away. Navigating a world where my core family of origin is my biggest enemy and the men I’ve tried to vet and sift through—the ones I hoped would be the real poppa—never came. It left both the adult me and little me saying the same thing: "I don’t know where my poppa is."
"You see what my problem is
That I don't know where my poppa is
No positive male role model
To play football and build railroad models"
"It's making a hole, you've been digging it
'Cause you ain't been kicking it
Since I was old enough to hold bottles
Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that
I don't deserve to get used to that"
As you read the lyrics and listen to the song, imagine that this is what us women go through—what I go through:
"Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide
And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'"
This lyric is repeated twice—once from the mom's perspective, saying "When my momma try to provide and I tell her that ain't your job," and once from the son's perspective, saying "When I try to provide and he tells her that ain't your job."
For me, the adult me and the little girl—Little Jess—are saying this simultaneously, in one body, clearly, over and over. It’s deep. Like the Lupe Fiasco song I wrote about previously, "The Coolest," the dangers and the stories are all there. And yet, I can’t help but wonder—if men really evaluated what this is like when they pretend to step up and then leave horrendously, do they truly understand what this does? Not just to the adult woman they let down, but to the little girl inside, who they treated as a kind of Pied Piper, leading her into heartbreak.
Lupe, thank you for songs like this.
"I can't, I won't, I can't
I won't let you leave
I don't know what you want
You want more from me
She said to him, "I want you to be a father
He's your little boy and you don't even bother
Like 'Brother' without the R and he's starting to harbor
Cool and food for thought but for you he's a starver"
"Starting to use red markers on his work
His teacher say they know he's much smarter but he's hurt
Used to hand his homework in first
Like he was the classroom starter"
"Burst to tears, let them know she see us
Now he's fighting in class
Got a note last week that say he might not pass
Ask me if his daddy was sick of us
'Cause you ain't never pick him up"
"You see what his problem is
He don't know where his poppa is
No positive male role model
To play football and build railroad models"
"He's making a hole, you've been digging it
'Cause you ain't been kicking it
Since he was old enough to hold bottles
Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that
He don't deserve to get used to that"
"Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me
Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart, when I try to provide
And he say, 'Mommy, that ain't your job'"
To be a man, I try to make him understand
That I'm his number one fan
But it's like he born from the stands
You know the world is out to get him
So why don't you give him a chance?"
I can't, I won't, I can't
I won't let you leave
Now, now, I don't know what you want
You want more from me
So he said to him, "I want you to be a father
I'm your little boy and you don't even bother
Like 'Brother' without the R and I'm starting to harbor
Cool and food for thought but for you I'm a starver"
"Starting to use red markers on my work
My teacher say they know I'm much smarter but I'm hurt
I used to hand my homework in first
Like I was the classroom starter"
"Burst to tears, let them know he see us
Now I'm fighting in class
Got a note last week that say I might not pass
Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us
'Cause you ain't never pick me up"
"You see what my problem is
That I don't know where my poppa is
No positive male role model
To play football and build railroad models"
"It's making a hole, you've been digging it
'Cause you ain't been kicking it
Since I was old enough to hold bottles
Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that
I don't deserve to get used to that"
"Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me
Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide
And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'"
"To be a man, she try to make me understand
That she my number one fan
But it's like you born from the stands
You know the world is out to get me
Why don't you give me a chance?"
It's like, I can't, I won't, I can't
I won't let you leave
Now, now, I don't know what you want
You want more from me
I can't, I won't, I can't
I won't let you leave
I don't know what you want
You want more from me
I can't, I won't, I can't
I won't let you leave"
Have you ever connected deeply with a song like this—one that feels like it speaks to both your pain and your strength at the same time? If so, which one, and why? Interestingly read something about how BDSM has been used to help people explore and heal traumas within in their lives.
Firstly it’s not something that would have sprung to mind but also a brilliant positive in relation to lifestyle and a deviation to the norms of Ds.
Of course this is not possible without complete trust in a Person to allow any kind of healing to happen.
Today is a bad pain day. Physcially, emotionally and mentally. i am beyond thankful i work from home and do not need to face the world, aside from a visit to my parents house this evening for dinner. Agoraphobia can be crippling and the very thought of stepping a toe outside of my "safe zones" is enough to throw me into a panic. With my extremely high blood pressure and resting heart rate, i need to do all i can do keep myself calm. The last thing needed to add to the litany of issues is a stroke.
On a happy not i found an adorable notebook and metallic pens (my glitter ones died...sad) to keep track of my daily blood pressure readings, and soon to be mood and food intake. Daddy said He is so proud that i am finally working on fixing me. the body parts are easy. it's the mental part that scares me. i truly do not know if i am ready to face my damage. i hope i find a really good therapist that doesn't mind if a stuffy or two come along on my appointments...
When I get this way I can't help myself. I need to have my mouth filled with a real man's cock.
i really feel badly over what transpired this past week. i have enjoyed many rewarding experiences in r/l and sometimes talking via this site can open up minds and really get minds thinking towards a r/l meeting.
there have been some special people i have met and they are exactly what i expected. i think i need to step back from this site. it hasn't happen in sometime, but i think someone has ghosted me, i guess they were not up to coffee or a meal. i do not play on my first meet. that is just dangerous.
so my mind closes again until someone is clever enough to open it.
this world is not bs to me, but maybe vanilla is the answer....
Well, now that journals are a thing again, perhaps I should see about adding to mine.
I'm still working on perfecting my craft as a rope artist, as well as continuing to engage in erotic hypnosis with a number of subjaspects, but all totaled, I'm still looking for just the right sub or subs to truly take on and make beautiful things happen with.
I've added a few new toys and accompanying skills to my repetoire since last I posted. I have to say, with the right sub, electrical play can be truly amazing. A violet wand, along with electrically conductive rope and an electrically conductive flogger, can make for a really intense scene. Although being kidnapped by pervy aliens, it's a much cooler story. I just had to finish a big, work-related project. But I'm back! With nothing fun to talk about!
Except my birthday. It's almost my birthday and I'm so gonna throw a gotcha party. Goddess Tabitha has been in New York all week and will be returning home on Monday afternoon. We facetime nightly for progress reports on my task list, updates on my daily chores and some cyberplay.
She bought a new toy. It is an eight pad tens unit to start electric play with me when she gets home. We had a standard battery operated four channel but it finally gave out after a decade of use. The onlytime in thirteen years I have literally screamed and begged for mercy is when she put a electrode pad on the ball of each foot and the other one on each ankle. She set it to starburst and turned it to maximum strength. The cramping in my feet was beyond description and she left me that way for over 30 minutes. All because I had mentioned after being in heels all day that my feet hurt.
I am NEVER allowed to complain about pain when my pain, or in this case, the shoes I was wearing were at her direction. Don't get me wrong, a tens untit can be very comfortable and soothing if used at milder settings, but if it is used for punishment it can be absolute hell.
We will see how loving or not Goddess Tabitha is on Monday night. My person . . i know you are out there . .the one who WON'T do what hurtful people do now to me . . you won't EVER lie to me, brush me off unimportant, not give me your time, leave me waiting, use me, not care, feed me bullshit and not be honest. And you WON'T only care about sex. Yes you may be so very sexual and that will be huge for us BUT it is NOT all you care about. You will have a heart and brain (even if you aren't super crazy smart) you will care about my feelings and we will form a relationship before any form of sexuality or sexual compatibility is explored. I also won't feel the way with you that these current people are making me feel . .i will be the opposite with you. With you I will feel and be good enough and more than! It will take a little time but I will be your world. Just want to make a few things clear about n my profile:
S eeking only a heterosexual, monogamously-minded male.
Mild feminization is a great tool to humiliate a male sub. But I am seeking a male, not a man seeking to be a girl or woman. (Nothing wrong with that, just not for me.) You also don't have to be a "manly man" for me to find you appealing. 😉
If you require a lot of online messaging before you feel safe talking by phone, I don't want to waste your time or mine because I would rather hear the inflections in your voice than see your words on a flat screen. Be both should be cautious because there are scammers on both sides. But I want to voice verify that you are not a minor or in another country before we discuss details of out proclivities.
I am absolutely NOT interested in a man who is married or in a serious relationship, no matter what your situation. Please close your doors before knocking on mine .
Time is precious. Let's NOT waste even a second of it if there isn't a chance from the get go because we aren't a match.
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Feeling Grateful! A few days ago I was in a major accident, hitting a deer while I as going 75mph down a highway. I saw one deer cause another car to swerve and that deer made its way without incident, but I knew that meant there could be more. Before I knew it, there was a deer immediately in front of me and there was nothing to do but allow the inevitable. The sound was awful, the hood flew up and I got the car to the side of the road without further incident. Not quite 48 hours has passed yet, and I am grateful no injuries have surfaced beyond very minor bruises.
The next day, I learned from the wrecker driver what normally results from similar crashes. That choked me up and caused tears to start to flow. Yes, my car, which was not going to last much longer anyway, is done, but I am fine. I consider Myself lucky, blessed and My response is gratitude.
I know, not a "site" topic, but I am sharing it anyway. ok maybe I need make my self more come on here. So I'm getting a lot of you men on here that think I'm going to jump when you say jump. That's not me. There some or you think that your Gods gift to women, not true. There some that think you can make me a slave not going to happen them days have been long gone. There some that want to demand me on line yeah that won't work either. None of that is a turn on at all. I do know I'm new to this but I am a very independent woman and not a slut bye far or a whore or some one with udders as some of you like to call my boobs.
I don't have time to do the online games and task. I work hard and about get second job. If nobody paying my bills don't demand anything from me please. Now that we have journals back, it's time for an update.
This is now a poly household. We're set up with both a dungeon and a medical playroom. The dungeon is amazingly well stocked with just about every sort of cane, flogger and whip you can imagine, and some things you probably haven't. Anyone who's interested in play time or dungeon time should feel free to ask.
If you're interested in more than just playtime, there are some things you should understand:
This is a KINKY HOUSEHOLD. It is NOT kid friendly. If you have kids, and have custody of them, we can talk and even arrange some playtime, but we're probably not going to be a good match.
This is a POLY HOUSEHOLD. In order to make this dynamic work, everyone involved needs to be willing to compromise and work as a team. This is a balance that takes work to maintain, and is incomptable with drama. We're only interested in women who are willing to try to contribute to the dynamic and thereby add to the household. Chaos is not welcome here.
If you are under 25, we don't expect you to have your life together, but we do expect you to be sane and healthy. Freaky is encouraged, but have a grip of reality - you've got to start with reality before you plunge down the rabbit hole.
If you are over 35, still living at home and unable to take care of yourself, or still going out to bars and clubs every night you can to get blitzed and hook up, you need to grow up before contacting us.
I am willing to travel to meet, but if you're outside PA, you're going to need to do a video call. We travel by private plane on the east coast of the US. If this excites you great, I'd love to have another pilot in the household. If this terrifies you, we're out of your league.
I'm sure there will be more coming, but this is a good start. Holidays are usually rough for me and loneliness sinks in more especially around Christmas and New Years. Many people caught my eye and attention but, only one so far has managed to become at the fore front of my thoughts. This holiday all I seem to think about and picture is her bound with leather and gagged and at my mercy. Each whimper and cry with each swing of a paddle, flogger, and the stiking of canes arouses my need and feeds her need for pain. Once we ar both satiated I release her and hold her comforting her as I stroke her hair, her face and her body reveling in every mark, bruise and welt . I totally get that plenty of Dominants, Daddies, and Masters want a teensy little twinkie to toy with. But I'd like to think there are tops out there who get a special thrill from big-game power plays, from putting a bigger, more masculine bottom in their place--or from gradually transforming them into the doll of their dreams.Sure, there's pleasure to be had in tormenting a twink, but don't you think there's something intoxicating about using all that juice to humble, humiliate, and torment someone who can't resist the sway of your dominance? It's been quite a while since James (my husband) left me. The house feels emptier, and there's a silence that I can't seem to fill. I miss his laughter, his warmth, the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled at me. I miss the way he held me, the security and comfort I felt in his arms. I miss him, and it hurts.
But more than that, I miss the bond we shared, the profound connection we had through our shared love for BDSM. I miss the way he'd look at me, full of trust and love, right before we began a scene. I miss the anticipation, the rush of adrenaline, the sweet surrender. I miss the feeling of his hands against my soft skin. I miss the way he would reassure me, his words soothing and encouraging, as we explored new sensations and experiences together.
It's strange to admit, but I miss being his submissive. It's a part of me, a part of who I am. With James, I discovered a part of my identity that I didn't even know existed. He showed me that submission wasn't about weakness or being less than. It was about trust, surrender, and a mutual exchange of power. It was about feeling loved, cherished, and cared for.
That's why I've decided to look for a new Dom or perhaps a couple. I need to fill that void in my life, to rediscover the part of me that came alive with James. I want to feel that connection again, to explore and to learn. I want to experience the thrill of a new dynamic, the excitement of setting boundaries and pushing limits.
I understand that no one can replace James, and I am not looking for that. I am looking for someone, or someones, who will understand, respect, and cherish me for who I am, a woman who loves and misses the BDSM lifestyle. I am hoping to find individuals who value communication, consent, and safety as much as I do.
My feelings are raw, my emotions a whirlwind. But amidst the chaos, there's also a glimmer of hope, a spark of excitement. It's not going to be easy, and I know that. But I also know that I'm strong, resilient, and capable. After all, that's what James taught me. That's what he loved about me.
I used to post all the time I feel. Thease went away for far too long and i've gotten out of practice.As submissive as I am, I need and MUST respect the person(s) that I submit to and serve. It pains me to say and write this, but I think I need to. If you are supportative of Trump, no matter what your reason, I do not respect you.Talking why's and reasons are unneeded. Things are so polarized now, that most people know why or why not. Though if you want to talk, I'm open to polite discuession and debate.what about serving other Republicians who don't support Trump? That is a very strong "it depends".I'm a huge huge huge fan of Freedom(funny enough huh? ;). ), and things like extreme strictness abortion laws where women are at risk of dying, as well as this Moms for liberity crap and banning books seems very much like restricting freedom and Control.So the "it depends" depends a lot on your views and values overall, as well as your acceptance of mine. Because with what I say above? I'd imagine there are many a Republician who have similar feelings about people with my views. Though after this post, I doubt few republicians would care to speak with me. Since adding journal entries won't cause my profile to need re-approval, I'm adding this after reading some of the profiles on the site.
I'm looking for trans Dommes or switches. No men or women unless you're exceptional, sorry, I've been attracted to trans women since 2011 (I was bisexual then). I'm not looking for sub trans girls because being a Domme doesn't really come naturally to me. I can be a Domme for sure, have been for years since it's so hard to find Dommes of both the trans and cis types. I also met too many subs and was interested in cyber RPs a lot then. Not so much anymore unless you're really good, because my tastes have changed over 15 years.
I very rarely chat to couples though I used to meet good ones on Reddit. Maybe 1 so far. It depends on if you're sincerely interested in trans girls or sissies.
I like watching gangbang and reverse gangbang porn, but probaby won't do it IRL. Not even a sissy orgy which I dream about so often. Fantasies and reality should be separate. I want someone exclusive in general, and please don't contact me if you're part of or looking for a poly household. Couples or being part of a throuple (a third wheel, not a fourth), will be very rare if at all and I'd probably be looking for my own lover anyway even if I was part of one, so you might be better off contacting someone who's poly.
I watch cuckold and cuckquean porn, and it'll be most likely a polite no if you're interested in acting out those things IRL. I don't mind acting as the occasional sissy cuck who cleans up a woman after she gets a huge fat cock, or maybe as the trans bull in some situations. Depends on what mood the three of us are in. I also do think of cuckqueaning trans or cis women sometimes, such as tying them up and making them watch me with a younger or sexier chick with bigger tits and an arse. That said, those RPs will probably be for hookups only, and I'd avoid them in general. I don't want to get into a relationship and destroy it with either type of cucking, though if you have strong fantasies about it, we can roleplay it anytime. For example, with dildos, fleshlights, body forms, etc.
If you're a cuckoldress or a polyandrous hotwife/polygamous couple/polygynous Dom, please avoid contacting me unless you understand that no matter what, I won't be completely submissive to you forever or a 'perfect cuckold'. I could be in the bedroom during the RP and Dom if you ask me to have sloppy seconds later, but I won't be exclusive to you at all or a complete slave, unless you can devote yourself to me as a Domme in the exact same way.
I prefer gentle, caring Mommy Dommes instead of heartless and cruel bitch Dommes, though I don't mind some sadistic and humiliating or hurtful RPs if you enjoy them too. I just want a Domme to serve who isn't selfish and all about herself, which seems to be most of them. A Domme is slightly more in charge of the relationship than her sub, but it doesn't mean she ignores and disregards her sub's feelings. Think of the dynamic in the same way as a male Dom who has to take care of his sub as well even if he dominates her, or else she'll find someone else.
If you didn't take note of this in my previous journal entries, please don't contact me at all if you're a pro Domme or expect any sort of tributes and dumb contracts to be signed which only benefit you. I've seen them all and IDC in the slightest about paying to act as if I'm being cared for. Some of you are disappointed in what you find online and IRL, and I don't really blame you because most subs and Dom/mes aren't very good at what they claim to do. It's very frustrating to put in efforts for your relationships or dates and find someone who half-arses it. I get it, but your previous disappointments have nothing to do with me, and vice versa. I've had enough people contact me on here and other social media explaining that a Domme needs tribute to show obedience and that you feel you've wasted enough time putting in efforts for useless subs. It's a joke and a pretty laughable reason. I've heard of enough pseudo-Dommes who ask for money and then vanish without giving a promised video or RP, or the ones who realize that it can be a very easy cash grab and pretend to be exclusive while contacting a million subs to get money up front, and then release nothing or piss-poor quality content. I don't see why my money should go to a user or liar, and I probably have no reason to trust people more than they trust me. We can just keep it mutually beneficial and respectful without exchanging money or false promises, and if that doesn't work out, we move on.
Happy hunting, all. I have been having a discussion in the Dominant Women group on Fetlife about the heavy increase in "transactional kinksters" whose education is from porn. Where it is disrespectful to women yet they are too busy pushing what they want and get blocked mid sentence.
I block so many guys daily who are so far from being compatible it's eye-rolling. Well I did that test thing. The rope bunny bit surprised me to be honest
== Results from bdsmtest.org == 94% Rope bunny 87% Submissive 85% Degradee 78% Slave 74% Pet 71% Voyeur 66% Boy/Girl 64% Vanilla 61% Experimentalist 60% Switch 54% Exhibitionist 45% Masochist 45% Primal (Prey) 40% Ageplayer 37% Brat 34% Non-monogamist 26% Dominant 21% Daddy/Mommy 16% Master/Mistress 14% Rigger 14% Owner 11% Primal (Hunter) 10% Sadist 9% Brat tamer 5% Degrader I Just realized on Dec 26th 19 years ago today. I went to be my first munch and became a member of my local BDSM community. I remember being so nervous. I had never dated or anything before that day. I was happy when I read an erotic novel and found the term BDSM and went down the rabbit hole. All the years I would have dreams and desires not understanding and thinking I was alone. I was 30 years old and started researching on AOL, Yahoo chat, the great websites at the time. To find the munch group and got my scene name from my email address. So nervous to meet at the munch group, Only about 5 of us were there that night being right after Christmas. I was so happy and excited and felt like I finally found home and people that would accept me and welcome me.
The lifestyle was fun and learned a lot but also wasn't the greatest as I would jump into things and the 7.5 years I was active did expereince abuse that still scares me today. I have triggers but also realize this is who I am and can't just be vanilla. I have missed being active in the lifestyle and miss my BDSM family. One day hope to find the right partners and get back to being active again.
I call this my BDSM birthday. And glad I found it. Just more cautious now. Had a request for a few training exercises. Thought as long as I was writing them up I'd post them here.
Lesson 1
You need a mirror you can see all of yourself in while your kneeling.
Set a timer for 15 minutes and kneel in front of the mirror.
For those 15 minutes look at the girl in the mirror. How does she look how does she kneel. How is she dressed. How do you feel about the girl in front of you. What do you think of her.
When the timer expires go write a 750 word essay on the experience.
What did you think of the girl before you. What does her clothing say to you. How is her posture.
Normally Id have you send me the essay but your not mine. So put the essay someplace safe, youll be reading it again later This lady must have the best profile on CollarSpace: BondageWhore4U
Be more like BondageWhore4U Sexy contract drafted together with AI :)
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Slave Contract
This contract is entered into on [date], by and between [Dominant’s Name] (hereinafter referred to as "the Dominant") and [Submissive’s Name] (hereinafter referred to as "the Submissive").
Purpose:
The purpose of this contract is to formalize the absolute power exchange relationship between the Dominant and the Submissive, where the Submissive completely surrenders all personal rights and autonomy to the Dominant.
Terms and Conditions:
Absolute Relinquishment of Rights:
The Submissive irrevocably relinquishes all personal rights and autonomy to the Dominant, granting the Dominant absolute control over every aspect of the Submissive's life, including but not limited to physical, emotional, psychological, financial, and social domains. This includes the Submissive relinquishing all property to the Dominant.
The Submissive chooses not to have any safeword, fully embracing the Dominant's control without any limits.
Total Control and Obedience:
The Dominant exercises absolute authority to dictate the Submissive's behavior, appearance, and actions.
The Submissive must wear a collar at all times as a symbol of their complete submission and ownership by the Dominant.
The Submissive must adhere to a strict dress code and behavioral rules as determined by the Dominant.
Punishments and Physical Conditioning:
The Dominant has the right to administer any form of punishment deemed necessary to enforce obedience, including physical punishment, marking, starvation, and any other methods to achieve the desired body size and features.
The Submissive accepts that punishment is a crucial aspect of their training and will endure any form of discipline without protest.
Body and Mind Modification:
The Dominant has the unrestricted right to mold, modify, or alter the Submissive's body and mind in any manner deemed necessary, including but not limited to body size, shape, features, permanent marks, and psychological conditioning.
The Submissive consents to undergo any procedures, treatments, modifications, or psychological conditioning as directed by the Dominant to fulfill the Dominant’s vision.
Sexual Submission:
The Submissive is always available to fulfill the Dominant's sexual desires, including the use of the Dominant’s cock, toys, or other means.
The Submissive agrees to receive and endure public humiliation and to engage in sexual activities as directed by the Dominant.
Surveillance, Chastity, and Recording:
The Submissive consents to constant surveillance to ensure compliance with all rules and expectations.
The Submissive will wear chastity devices or any other restraints as mandated by the Dominant to enforce control.
The Submissive is required to perform on an OnlyFans account or similar platform, which will be owned and controlled by the Dominant. All content produced, including videos, and all money earned through this account are the property of the Dominant.
The Dominant retains full ownership and rights to any films or videos recorded during the period of this contract. The Submissive acknowledges that these recordings may be used or distributed at the Dominant’s discretion without any compensation or objection from the Submissive.
Irrevocable Commitment and Termination:
The duration of this contract is to be set and agreed upon by both the Dominant and the Submissive before signing.
This contract cannot be terminated by the Submissive during the agreed-upon duration.
Any attempt to escape or disobey will result in severe punishment at the discretion of the Dominant.
The Dominant retains the right to extend, amend, or terminate the contract at will.
Transfer and Use by Others:
The Dominant has the unilateral right to lend, rent out, or sell the Submissive to others, maintaining absolute control over the Submissive’s fate.
The Submissive will comply with the commands of anyone designated by the Dominant without question.
Clarification and Interpretation:
Any uncertainties or ambiguities in this contract will be clarified and interpreted solely by the Dominant, whose decision is final.
Verbal commands and clarifications by the Dominant are considered binding and enforceable as part of this contract.
Total Submission:
The Submissive enters this contract of their own free will, fully understanding the extent of the Dominant’s control and the harshness of the terms.
The Submissive accepts that their purpose is to serve, obey, and please the Dominant in all aspects.
The Dominant will not be responsible for any damages, physical or psychological, that the Submissive may incur as a result of this contract.
Signatures:
[Dominant’s Name]
[Submissive’s Name]
[Witness or Notary, if required]
Turn ons: good spelling and grammar, "your" instead of "ur," and a notion of what you, the prospective owner, have to offer.
More on that last point. Your profile should somehow answer the question, "How will I make the slave's life better than it is now?" This site has slaves who are considering voluntary slavery, so you must make a pitch that would make them want to choose you. So many focus on their wish list: "You must be totally devoted to serving me, and have a job, and have no limits." Often that's the entire profile, though perhaps it ends with, "Contact me to learn more." How will you get a quality slave with a pitch like that? What will life with you be like? Can you make the case that you're worthy of trust? That your words are believable? Will life with you be in some way enriching? If you are unfamiliar, look up Maslow's Pyramid in Wikipedia. Is the slave's life with you going to provide more of the pyramid than they have now? If not, why would they it give up? The sun shining subtly on a sideof this sin is like a sound in my insidesthat shimmer with silence.Silence that strain to see the stars.And soon this season will shift away,and my sadness will slither southboundwith these strenuous sufferings.I may bask in the sun,but those stars sing my song.Someone may scoff at this small bird,but I dare souls to reveal their sub scrip tions.I might be seized in a straightjacketand my sex deprived, my song stolen,and my stimulation snuffed.But this sum is still greater than most dull lives.This is how a songbird thrives.But lo, this is no ordinary songbird.This is a phoenix, singing its pleasurebehind a mask of silence,and setting aflame her significancein favor for ashes.~ dirtydarling It sure seems like there are many, many Dominants on this site that *want* to find a sub who will desire, obey, heed, do, etc. as they direct
and tell them to do, but when I ask them, Are you worth it? they often get angry and defensive. I think instead the smart and experienced
Dominant will indeed be able to answer that question from an interested submissive with an accurate, honest, and appealing list of how they
have taken care and managed themselves well, first and foremost.
I stand firmly in the Do as I say Do as I do camp within a dynamic. So many men who contact me aren't Dominant at all, and the first sign
is that they cannot or have not positively Dominanted themselves to a level of respectabilty and dare I say excellence, that both enhances themselves
and attracts a potential sub to their side. Read that again!
We all have physical issues, personality issues, baggage, etc., that we have acquired over the decades, and I can't fault anyone for
living life, but it's ALL in what we do with said issues and baggage that makes the Dominant and makes the sub a good match. And please, have the
astuteness to know when someone is on your level or not. Think Like Attracts Like, or at least start there when contacting or considering a potential.
Be honest with yourself and that person, and always look in the mirror before heading out!
I think 24/7 is asking a lot of someone. I personally, would get bored doing the same thing all the time. Maybe 1 or 2/7? lol.
But if I met the right Lady, a relationship would be conceivable. Just realize, that I need my free space and time.
I guess this is the type of thing you discuss as you go on together. So, if you ask have you owned or collared someone..
The answer is quite definitely yes.
Currently collared.. little boy..Shyboy.
I see him on the weekends and on some occasions on Friday stay over into Saturday.
I have another potential that I will see what happens with Natasha.
Under consideration for a 24 7 live in domestic slave position.
I do have a few play partners that I do see as submissive on occasion.
Now in the past had a collared masochist..
He was amazing, and I do miss him.
I have had a sissy collared.
And I have had one who signed a contract with me 6 yrs sgo.ago..
That actually turned out to not work and had to have his collar removed.
Due to topping from the bottom, as well as found out he was into illegal activities that are not tolerated.
Plus his attitude showed that he was totally unworthy.
As required by my Dom, I publicly declare the following: I am subMeghan, and as I type this this, whenever I am here on CollarSpace, I am to remain completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses…
Today’s Journal Topic Is: I Am Now On CollarSpace Chat!
One of many fantasies my Dom/Hubby has for me is to be a webcam model. He just loves the idea of me being completely nude in front of an unseen audience of men who I interact with and ultimately masturbate for them.
For a variety of reasons, that is simply never going to happen. Neither of us want to actually make that a reality. However, we did come up with a way for me to come as close as I can to doing this.
For the past few months, I have been playing around with CollarSpace’s chat rooms. The first few times, I would only pop in for a few minutes, see what people were talking about, then quickly exit.
The first time someone requested a private chat with me, I freaked out and exited the chat altogether. I was such a wimp! LOL
However, over time, I’ve gotten used to it and have had some really enjoyable conversations with some of you all.
A couple observations so far.
1> Collar Space chat can be really buggy. Getting booted out happens a lot!
2> Chat users are way more nice to me than I expected. (I’ve previously written about how abusive some of the messages I receive can be.)
3> More often than not, users are more interested in chatting than roleplaying.
4> Male subs seem to be quite needy. (This is just an observation, not a judgement.)
My Dom’s chat guidelines for me are as follows:
1> Of course, I am always to nude at all times. I am to disclose that I am nude if asked or appropriate.
2> Be gracious, courteous and friendly.
3> Answer all questions honestly. However, I may decline to answer any question that I deem to be inappropriate.
4> There are no taboo or inappropriate topics.
5> I do have to tolerate rude, abusive users. I have the discretion to terminate any conversation that I am uncomfortable with or deem to be unacceptably rude or abusive.
6> At my discretion, I may engage in any roleplay scenario that I feel comfortable with.
7> During roleplay, I am allowed to submit to other online Doms. However, my Dom’s/Hubby’s rules/limits always supersede any other online Dom’s commands.
8> During roleplay, if possible, I am to attempt to physically implement whatever I say I am doing. For example: If I say that I am putting clothespins on my nipples, then I need to actually put clothespins on my nipples, etc.
9> No webcam, no video, no photos. Sorry, not going to happen.
I do not plan on having any kind of chat schedule. If I’m there. I’m there. If I’m not, I’m not.
If you see me on chat, feel free to just say Hi.
subMeghan
I’m looking for good little subbies and sissies to be in pictures and videos for My fan page content & social media. You will receive in person domination, humiliation, worship, chastity teasing and other fun. Meanwhile I’ll be giggling and snapping pictures of you! I also love showing the pictures to my Girlfriends and tweeting My fav
You must be in good shape, fun, obedient, open-minded and local to me/Able to travel .
I’m in the UK. SOUTH WEST Tears
Wow… this is such a loaded word for me. I have such a love hate relationship with these suckers… I am reluctant to even write on the topic.
For starters, being someone who gets migraines, a good solid set of tears, that leads to solid congestion can lead to a migraine, so over all I typically avoid tears if I can help it and I don’t need them.
My brain seems to produce these things at all the wrong times sometimes. If am super angry… Tears. Super happy in a nostalgic way… Tears. Super empathetic for someone… Tears.
What the heck is with all these tears??? When they come during these high emotion times, I have zero control over them and their timing sucks! If I don’t’ shut down the emotion can’t shut down the tears that come with it! Going silent and withdrawing is often the only way to stop them. This doesn’t help when I am furious and want to be screaming at someone. This doesn’t help when I am trying to watch a wedding. This really doesn’t help when trying to counsel a friend who is having a hard time. I need to engage and be there with them! The other side of the coin… and this was to my big brother’s demise growing up… I can sometimes turn on those tears with the flip of a switch. Not the legit sobbing my heart out stuff usually, but enough to put a pause in the conversation if I am not happy with it. I must watch my manipulative side with this. (I have a broken door in my house because I wanted my husband and son to quit fighting one day and turned them on so well, then ran off and locked myself in the bedroom… the two of them quit fighting with each other and came to find me and broke down the bedroom door to check on me… I never expected they would break the door!) The issue is sometime this same thing happens against my will… I may not be happy with the conversation, but I really DO want to talk it out, and not have those stupid tears affect the outcome… and the stupid things come anyhow because I am emotional! So frustrating! Then in my frustration I cry more! Then get mad that I am crying, and then I cry because I am mad that I am crying, then it seems like I am crying because of the conversation… then all is lost, I can’t have the conversation untainted, and I am just straight up pissed off at myself. None of these tears are tears that bring me emotional relief though. In fact, they often do the opposite. They don’t affect my submission, (unless you count my bratting and manipulating with tears, in which case it might actually be bringing me out of my submission.) There is one type of tear that brings me emotional relief and brings me further into my submission. Tears from pain. They are rare though. Super rare. I have health issues and I have (well controlled, without the use of narcotics) chronic pain, and medical professionals have put me through hell and back with some of the things they have done to me. I get cluster headaches occasionally, some of the worst pain on the planet. (Imagine a brain freeze that lasts for 3 hours). I simply don’t cry from pure pain. Now, my eyes will water from it, like when your thumb is hit with a hammer, but it is just that, eyes watering, no redness, no sniffling, no sobs or bawling. Sometimes though, I need to cry. I need emotional release, and I need it to not be attached to anything like an argument, a friends ups and downs, an emotional event, etc. I need my own personal release. Where have I found this? Complete and total submission, and I have found that in only one place… pain beyond my control. There are lots of ways to give submission, but they are mostly all ways I still feel I control. I can do dishes, cook meals, give physical pleasure, do penance like tasks, etc. They are all things that I do because I am either happy to do or am willing to put up with the annoyance or interruption to my day to do. That is really how my brain processes such things. The emotional repentance within the brain is lacking and there certainly isn’t any call to tears over any of it. Physical punishment is different. I don’t enjoy pain, I am not a pain slut, but there is an absolute difference to pain punishments. There is constant thought and anticipation. I don’t’ want to say anxiety because of the negative connotations with the word anxiety, but I don’t want anticipation to be taken as joyful excitement. The period leading up to physical punishment. That time between when you have done wrong, and when the punishment is administered… there is a gnawing in the back of your mind. Driving the car, talking to your vanilla friend on the phone making lunch plans, brushing your teeth, watching TV, getting the mail. Randomly, at any time. It pops into your head! You are reminded you have done wrong. You are reminded that there will be a price to pay, and not one that will be easily dismissed. You are reminded that with every ounce of your being, you are going to have to submit yourself to absolute unpleasantness to pay the price for your actions (or lack of actions depending on the situation). This alone increase the emotional tie to the pain to come. When it is time for the punishment, it isn’t enough to be told to just go off on your own and do something and be done with it. You must stand before your accuser, look them in the eye, face up to what you have done, admit your guilt, humiliation of the mind as much as the body as you bare your soul before them and present yourself to them, willing to take whatever they are going to give. Knowing you will soon lose control over your body’s responses to the pain, jerking this way and that way, trying Hierarchy is important. And it is fun. The interplay between two slaves excites Me.
Which one will earn My Attention. How will you react when you are teased or ignored by Me and I give My Attention to others? How will you regain favor when you stray? How will you work together, each in their own place.
As always, I am at the top. Don't approach unless you accept that you will find yourself exploring submission, as one recently has learned. That said, switches, middles turn Me on.
Those who approach with humility may see a Side of Themseves unlocked and unleashed, as My Favorite Princess has learned. She knows. She is a treasure.
Goddess Let’s skip the small talk. I’m a Dominant woman — not your fantasy vending machine, not a fetish dispenser, and definitely not here to be topped from the bottom. I know exactly what I want. The question is… do you? I’m looking for a submissive man. Long-term potential only — someone who’s obedient but not weak, emotionally grounded, and genuinely turned on by service and surrender. If your submission is just a fetish, don’t waste my time. But if you crave structure, purpose, and the kind of dominance that hits deeper than kink, we might be aligned.
I expect maturity, respect, and the ability to follow instructions without making it about your wants. I’m not a roleplayer, I’m not soft, and I’m not new — so come correct. What I want from a submissive: daily or regular communication, task-following, consistency, obedience, and genuine desire to serve. Not just in the bedroom, but in mindset and behavior. You need to know how to be useful, present, and respectful. Disrespect, pushiness, or laziness gets blocked immediately.
I’m not into subs who want a Domme they can control. If you’re serious, real, and understand that submission is a privilege — not a right — then approach properly. Otherwise, keep scrolling. I’m not here for weak energy or half-assed effort. Want to serve? Show me why I should let you.
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