If you found a normally locked door unlocked, wouldn't you worry?  I went away for the long weekend and came back last night after dark. Unloading the car, putting things away, blah blah. I stopped and looked at the kitchen door. Unlocked. I lock every door when coming in out of habit. Unlocked. I start looking around, checking closets, go downstairs, check that door, the windows. Nothing. Nothing looks missing. Eventually I head upstairs, with a kitchen knife. Okay, with two kitchen knives because what if the person waiting to murder me knocks the first one out of my hand? Secret knife in my hoodie pouch.  Now, you're probably saying but you have a dog, she will attack. I would think so, too. What she did was walk upstairs and go straight to her bed. The weekend wore her out. I was on my own. You might also think that's a good sign if she doesn't hear or smell anything unusual. She also has walked right by french fries and never noticed. Let's not count on her awareness to save the day. Back to me. Back when I was paranoid I bought a, what are those things called, the zapper thing, because I don't know how to use a gun and I would probably shoot a hole into my closet and ruin several of my favorite dresses. I went to get that to continue my search and it was dead. Why would I keep it charged? Indeed. Kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife it is. Every closet, peeled back the shower curtain, looked under every bed. Checked my jewelry. All fine. And then I closed and locked the bedroom door and wound a belt around the handles and slept with the tv on.  What about the kitchen door? All I can think is I missed relocking it the last time I went out. You better believe I won't be doing that again any time soon. The kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife are still on the nightstand. 

The info on this profile can't be updated.  So I add via Journals or the LastSamurai2011 profile. I am currently 60 yrs young and I own a slave not on CS.  Looking to grow a poly family.

About me: Well I can tell you that in the vanilla everyday world I present like a cisgendered male. I am definitely not a passive person, nor am I overly aggressive either. I'm more of a thinker and definitely analyze situations first before just reacting. With that being said I consider myself a high functioning individual. I own my own home, vehicles, and have raised a child to a functioning adult as well. I work in the white collar business world in a career that demands excellent communication, planning, organization, and implementation. Those communication skills also transfer into my private life. I am fortunate that I had Parents that are very open-minded and were able to provide a wide variety of experiences. That open-mindedness has transferred into my life as well. I have traveled overseas for work and pleasure and probably have been to most of the lower 48 states. As a result I have a very wide area of interests including the Arts, classical music, academics, and spirituality. I'm not obsessed with Fitness but I consider myself to lead a healthy lifestyle and I'm very active. __________________ During my sexual development I noticed that I never ever made the first move and always let the woman lead. I thought that was just the natural way that things were. After the first move is made, all bets are off I am not a passive or Lazy Lover. I just became to recognize that my need is for a woman to take charge. During my development from puberty to adolescence I was attracted to women who were intelligent, older, and the Femme Fatale type. The cheerleader or schoolgirl type never did it for me. Like many of us I started to explore my sexuality and relationships more deeply after my divorce more than 15 years ago.  I was drawn to my local alternative community which provided a safe space for exploration. However I am not active as the idea of public play or competitive BDSM games are not something that suits my values. Female lead relationships, or taken in hand relationships spoke to my inner soul in a way that is difficult to explain. To use an analogy, i view the relationship like a knight and her Queen. The Knight is still a strong capable being who happily and lovingly relinquishes control and Authority to the Queen.  I do also like the Goddess analogy as I think there is a spiritual component to this for me. I have had vanilla relationships where the woman was in control and led the way in terms of vacations, day to day life, and even being sexually in charge.  However, I have not had a formal female lead relationship like you would read in a book.  I am searching for a woman to develop and work on this with me in terms of rules, limits, and how we would live our lives together. For the past 10 years I've been at a point in my life where I know this is what I want and need. However, we as human beings cannot give up our personal values for relationship. Those values have to do with other areas of compatibility with a potential lifelong partner. More to come     

So slightly better news.  99.9 percent of the people who get this cancer are either heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, or drug users, and have depressed immune symptoms.  Since I am none of those things, my chances of making it out of this alive is closer to 80 percent than 50.  I'll take it.  I go in for surgery next week.  They are cutting out a piece of the back of my tongue, a piece of the back of my throat, and going into the side of my neck and removing all the lymph nodes.  Fortunately, the surgical techniques have advanced a lot and they no longer have to take out all the bones and muscle in my neck along with it.  So I will have a scar on my neck, but won't be grossly disfigured.  I won't be able to eat solid food or talk for a few weeks, and it's still going to be horribly painful, but better than dying.  And hopefully, if they get it all, I won't need to follow up with chemo and radiation and it won't come back.  But this cancer does like to come back.  I will worry about that when it happens.  For now, I'm going to focus on getting through this and keep living my life as best I can.  Thanks to everyone who took the time to write me about their own survival stories, or to offer support.

COFFEE AND ME I awaken to your gentle licks upon my labia what a way to start your day!!!! You assist me with my toileting needs.......you dressed me and then you take me to the kitchen..... you bring me my cup of coffee and a slice of raisin toast..... you get in position on all fours so I can put my feet up while I browse the net and enjoy my coffee and toast. I  enjoy rubbing my feet on your naked body, my feet across your balls and your lil pussy cock. You are very easily stimulated with my every touch. I do enjoy arousing you💦💦💦💦💦! I rub my foot under your belly and to the Head of your cock you are dripping my pet👅 I command you to turn over on your back...... lying flat as I drip some  butter near your navel.....I rub it through your thin hairy patch with my toes and then down to your cock with a nice even spread You like that don't you my pet....... I think to myself will I allow you to cum today....... spreading the butter  of your dick and feeling  it throb and get harder with my every touch makes me very moist......... I outline your lips with my big toe and then tell you to lick it........ I lean over taking the spoon from my coffee and rub it on your balls and I notice your cock is so hard for me but I need you to relax so I give your balls a nice little slap with the spoon.......... you let out a moan. I run the spoon up your shaft to the head of your cock moving it slowly in a circular motion then back down the shaft to your balls with another 4 slaps I then lean back and relax and allow you to lick all the butter off my foot........ my nipples are very hard and I can't resist caressing them as you clean all the butter off my foot like a good pet......... your tongue sliding through each of my toes making my nipples hard..... I'm  rubbing them and and my pussy is so moist and throbbing........ I take my cup of coffee and drip a little bit of the warm tasty liquid on my nipples.......slowly I lick my hard nipples! Gently pinching and pulling them. I bring my nipple to my mouth and slowly  suck off the sticky sweet warm coffee........Oh yes my pussy is throbbing and I know I'm about to cum........you sucking my toes and rubbing my foot like a good little pet....... make me explode my pet...........WOW  

20250107 It's a shame I even have to say this but unfortunately, I do! I will not chat with anyone unless I see pictures of them. I've been contacted by so many who claim they want to live 24/7, completely owned, and can't wait to start the process! I chat with these individuals and give them tasks or challenges to see how serious their interests are and suddenly I no longer hear from them anymore. Below are some of the questions I'm regularly asked, along with my answers. How far would you take my transformation? I'd take it as far as I can, including surgery. What would my duties be as your slave? Your duties would be serving me domestically, sexually, and following my orders. Would I be collared and/or branded? Yes, you will be collared once you have completed training.

The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party - 11th July 4pm This is the latest review from my tea party held on 6th June I attended the Acadamay CFNM Tea Party for the first time yesterday and I have to say, it was a truly unique experience. I can honestly say that this is the most authentic Female Domination experience that I have ever had. The women attending were clearly not 'playing' a role, but are living it. For some of the men present this was there first experience of female domination (at least in such a formal sense), but Master May runs the event with strict protocol, but with a light touch, so that everyone feels welcome. I don't know how Master May selects attendees, but it was a wonderful mix of backgrounds and experiences. I have had quite some experience of female domination, but to do it in a group, and to serve formally in that environment was very new to me and a revelation in the effect it had on my psychological state. There is something wonderfully calming about surrendering to the will of others, but to do it in a group the effect on me was even more powerful. If you are curious about Femdom, then this is a great place to start, and if you have had some experience and wish to delve a little deepening, this is also a profoundly rewarding experience. Underling 5 Single females are always welcome to the CFNM ladies tea parties, also single groomed submissive men who wish to serve their superiors may apply to attend. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party celebrates female empowerment through elegance, confidence, control, and connection in a respectful, sensual, and beautifully refined setting.  Whether you're a seasoned attendee or new to the scene, the Tea Party promises laughter, conversation, and connection among like-minded individuals who appreciate charm, class, and decorum and most of all, plenty of BDSM!  This is a small intimate and inclusive afternoon for elegant ladies who relish the attention of the naked males who wish to serve them in any way demanded from them.  When you attend a club as a single person you are taking a major chance on whether you will actually meet anybody that you actually want to meet.  Who wants to spend time standing alone at a bar surreptitiously casting your eye around for somebody who might be interesting to talk to, let alone develop a deeper connection whilst feeling embarrassed about being on your own?  My Ladies’ Tea Party is more like attending a dinner party where the host spends time each month assembling the perfect combination of guests to ensure that everyone has the most entertaining and stimulating time. You will be introduced personally to a selection of like minded people and have the opportunity to forge new lasting friendships.   At my CFNM you will meet everybody present and be comfortable participating in the conversation and activities. But unlike a dinner party, the conversation will be completely free of taboo and judgement and everyone will be encouraged to ‘do as thou wilt’ as the course of the afternoon develops.  As a lady you will be given the support of the other females present, whether you’re new and wish to know more about the art of female domination, or maybe more experienced looking to swap tales of experiences and to extend a friendly hand to the newer recruits to the lifestyle.  As a male you will relish the chance to associate with other men who have had for the longest time the same fetish as you to be naked and servile amongst powerful women without worrying about having to overcome any shyness about being with other men in the same position or having to approach a woman that you don’t know: every guest is included in the interactions and that you will have the opportunity to meet each and every Lady present is a given. This is a party like no other, held in a deluxe, decadent and very private boutique hotel suite where discretion is the key word and you will have the opportunity to strip bare the normal conventions and reveal exactly who you really are.  Do not miss this potentially life changing chance to realise your long held dreams of being in the company of liberated people who have long wished to be part of such a select group.  If you wish to attend you will send me an email with a face photo and some details about yourself so that I can choose the perfect combination of guests to make a memorable occasion for everybody. Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com

Reading people posting in their journal about various system errors here  Then reading others complain about people's profiles not being honest, where the profile says they are ready to relocate but they aren't or where the profile says they are into something but they are not willing to do that. Now wondering if some of that is also system bugs. Like the people who list as one sexual orientation but when you look at their Looking For it's in conflict with their stated gender and orientation, including when it's cis.  Now just found someone's journal and then their profile says, QUOTE: I sometimes accidentally add someone to my favorites. Because I read your profile it means nothing. I accidentally tap a profile. END OF QUOTE I believe her. So there's errors and slips of the finger and typos and some system bugs. But that said, there's definitely lots of less than honest profiles too   Or forgetfulness. Here's a challenge, post your favorite or else your top 3 examples of things from profiles but they should be funny, to lighten the mood, not infuriating things, would be my suggestion. My own example is I have seen literally DOZENS of profiles that have a few words and saying they just joined and then they say they will quote SOON... soon they promise, they'll add more details..   Then you look at their profile and it's been here for years and years... haha. If it was just a handful okay but so many say that, they say they just joined and will add more very soon, but no updates. Or course I also hear about approval taking months for profile revisions so mabye that gets folks to be reluctant to update their profile. I'm reluctant myself for same said reason..

I came to the conclusion years ago that most men are on this site because they aren't truely honest with themselves.  So they have been on here long term, 1 year 5 years 10 years and more.  Why ?  Because they get comfortable in lying to themselves and eventually lying to others.  I'm not actually talking about dom men.  I'm more talking about sub/slaves.  If your just looking for weekend kink , just say so.  If your never going to move and your shoes are nailed down to the floor, just  put it in your profile or tell people that. If your never going to move but don't mind meeting someone and let her take control of your life , online, phone and meeting in person sometimes. No problem just say so.    The lies will ever get you anywhere. you might come on here in your 40's and next thing you know your in your 50's and beyond and just fooling yourself.  Chasing something you'll never get. What a waste of time and a life.  Do you think working and having some money means anything when your last breath is at hand ?   I promise you that you will look back and see what an actual waste your life was. you take nothing with you in the end , but still, you hold on to your pathitic life and lies.   It is a free man that breaks away from that thought and becomes what he knows in his heart is the right thing to do . It might sound like a contradition or an irony .... someone free enough to be enslaved by someone.  But in reality  it's about following your heart and mind and breaking away from all the " things " in this world.  I know not everyone will understand what I wrote but hopefully you'll re-read it and ask yourself serious questions.  The answers are in yourself as well. 

hii sorry to interupt if we have already been talking and perhaps "planning" on getting together i just felt this is a pretty important piece i must mention generally to anyonoe who visits my profile    first thank you if its ur first time on my profile :) heeehe  repeat offenders i well come anytime i love the attention id love to be ur piece of eye candy Heeehe which  i do got more pics but havent uploaded due to the delay that happens and i cant reallly offord a delay since im using this as my main source to escape ... thank you collarspace ;) please dont disappoint    okk so feminization the process which ive started and learned how much more i enjoy life as so. i began HRT and was shocked on the results and conviced this is exactly who im supposed to be :)  i was scared to fully flourish when i started since ii was still living at home.. mom; her druk dumb fukin BF; and my little borther. you could see why i was intimidated to allow HRT gracefully.... i was on and off of it,id say maybe 4months yes, then 4 months no. then 2 months yes. then 3 months no. then 1 month yes then mile stone; family fell apart.... hurts but they hurt me literally no reason.. i was caught in the crossfire of his drunk ass running outta beer money every week blamed me always went throught my stuff, talked shit about my panties would often throw away my CUTEST jean or the combination of cloths that blended my image so amazingly it would allow anyone; who saw me, immedatly know i was a sissy BUT NOT JUST ANY SISSY ;) --yeah would thow that out. iIt happed A LOT but like twice on my most cuties most amazing look that brought confidence and lust lol. okay so my "familly" offically fell apart about 45 to 65 days ago i think give or take ... it occured in about a two week hostile setting. which i wanted no part of because it originated between THEM!! yes i had nothing to do with it i even stayed away from home for days on end to let them deal with their own bullshit... however, out of the maybe 4-6 days that i did come back, cuz jesus i was tired of being out there! somehow the arguments were about me... saying i dont work i dont pay rent --- like umm excuse me ?? dont pay rent? ------------------------------{{{{oooo i love this song}}}--------  k sorry, where was i     --dont pay rent??? then hand me a bill..... nothing ... repeated bout 4 times and still no bill .. i HAD moneyi just wasnt gonna had it to them so he can turn around and just get more beer...  i did everything expect around the house AND MORE  spacifically to prevent any turmoil since yes i didnt pay rent BUT NOT cuz i couldnt lol ... no bill no rent stupid drunk [[[im sure i got completely off my main point but god i feel so good to vent i dont have anybody right now]]] yes totall off topic if your still reading dang i appreciate your intrest in me lol *blush blush      ok i remember what this topic was supposed to be about lol soo sorry went completey right field.. yes right field cuz im left handed >:P lol    i becan this journal entry cuz i wanted to inform those who have a chance in owning me at the moment their a 3 im considering witch one i just hope will be the right choice  fingers crossed   so this as ALL ABOUT FEMIZATION ohh and the whole artical up there does have a good purpose  When i began taking hormons, the fluxuation of on off onn off if you notice the ended with with 1 month on following a 3 month halt.... if you think about the proceess of my feminity you can picture about where im at in my appearance .... BUT WAIT IM NOT UGLY haha  im not ill thow a pic of me rn or send in a message cuz i dont wanna have to do that waiting period this website impliments uppon profile updates. sooooooo when i finally went back to see my doctor to FINALLY GET MY HORMONS again... stupid governer Desantez signed a bill that took into effect just the day BEFORE my appointment making it SUPER SUPER HARD not just for minors to get gender reassingment medication! my doctor straight up told me no! she will not give me my hormons because xyz...i was planning on getting a 4 month batch after explaining to her i was leaving florida to focus on myself and my tranisition... lol more like to focus on YOU and my transititon heehee ;)   theirs more to this but i chose not to disclose due to risk of prejudgmental dissisions, id say about 93% of you WILL MAKE regardless if you, think ur so mature or what not..   ((lol prejudgmental is that even a word? hahaha idk but sounded good there ;))   ** ooo i just notice my spell check wasnt doing its job... crap im sure when i reread this im gonna have to delete it dammit  enjoy the read and the insite of my current situtaion stay safe out there and masters/mistress/..potentual sissy owners.... [iSeeKu]  

Hmm let's see it is now 2022, so a lot have time has passed between my last real post. So many things have gone on in my life since then. In 2019 I took part in the World Transplant Games in the UK. That was a hell of a trip. Spent a few days in London, then went north to Yorkshire, to the land of James Herriot, Castle Howard, and my friends farm. I spent 5 days helping take care of their herd of pigs. Can't wait to go back. I return to London for my last 9 days and ate great food, saw amazing things, and got to see New Japan Pro Wrestling do their first show in England. Got home just before second year started. my next games are next year in Perth Australia. I will be cycling I will have a 5k time trial, a 20km team time trial, and another 30k time trial. Boy my legs are going to hate me. I had a pair of custom painted shoes done just for the games. I am hoping to be able to get a racing suit and a helmet wrapped in the same pattern.  i am hoping to spend a bit of time in Tokyo on my way to Australia. Maybe spend 5 days. 

"50 Shades Of Wanabees" **Will finish writing this and add the conclusion sometime in the near future. Unfortunately, work and life get in the way of passion at times not affording us the opportunity to delve into it full time. That and writing this on a cell phone is a daunting task. Read enjoy, educate, comment. It's all good. I've been involved in this lifestyle for going on 40yrs. It is a very special kind of relationship and bond that takes lots of commitment, EFFECTIVE communication, understanding and most of all....TRUST. This type of life is not for everyone especially those "vanilla relationshippers" who don't understand it or know anything about it other than the stereotype information they heard or read. It is a multi-layer, multi-dimensional universe of its own that is compromised of many of its own ecosystems. It's as vast as the many kinks and fetishes that people can imagine and transform into being on the physical plane. Although we try to categorize the many desires so we can label them and sort them in order to find fellow kinksters. It is a task less job of who done it. No different than labeling colors. To the right we have orange. To the left we have red. But what happens when we have a color that falls in between? It doesn't necessarily look orange or red on of its own. Do we call "rednge" and make it its own category so it sits their all alone? Obviously not! But yet another hybrid is born expanding our array of colors once again. Adding to the illustrious rainbow of a way of life for many. It is no different than Mother nature's evolution of our planet and its inhabitants. Constantly in motion. Growing, changing, EVOLVING. How wonderful. HOWEVER, something almost always comes along to try and hamper the growth. It resonates through the community touching and infecting all that live in it. It betrays us all and infaspects the very things that make it so unique. Trust quickly dissipates as the intrusion spreads like wildfire burning all that fall within its path. Leaving behind scorched emotions, lack of trust or belief. Like that fiery fire is what I call, "50 Shades Of Wannabees". It's compromised of those who watched or read this crossover book or movie of a kinkier version of "Pretty Woman". A rich man who takes over a lower class woman's mind and bends her into his submissive. Suddenly like the herd of Buffalo, that once roamed this nation, a stampede of kinksters charge into our community. There is no understanding that there is SO much more than physical ownership of a sub or slave. It is a psychological game of Stratego that has been played by the partners gaining command of the others headspace. That headspace contains all the emotions, physical desires, dreams, fantasies, psychological manifestations of childhood yearnings, etc. All rolled up into one area waiting to be examined and absorbed by someone who can understand them and nurture them to fruition. A Bach of the composer world who takes them and turns them into beautiful music that all can hear. The manifestation of the hidden minds collective emotional desires and needs now controlling the physical form like the captive they once were. With this weapon in hand the dominant hunter has captured his prey. He cages and controls it by holding its heart tightly against his chest in his protective arms so no harm will come to it. The chase was long. The chase took many paths that one had to avoid straying from and getting lost. So when finally navigating it and finding that pot of gold at the end it is treasured as the greatest possession owned. It's capture was earned and not stolen. I can't help but look at these wannabees as nothing more than and invasive army made up of decisions or narcissistic grandure. Their need to feel powerful and fulfill their cardinal desires of physical pleasure and loneliness taken by force. No understanding of how the lifestyle works because they have no desire to learn it. Whips spinning in the air, shouts of demands and orders barking, physically overpowering of their prey is all they understand. I am a MASTER they proclaim to all as they dangle bait in hopes of luring a potential pacifistic creature. No you are NOT A MASTER, the knowledgeable citizens say. YOU ARE JUST A BULLY! A bully fueled by your narcissistic desires of ownership over another that you expect to force to serve you for your pleasure and your pleasure alone. You and your wants are all that matters and the emotions of the server are forced into exile.

Master's WritingsCategorizing Levels of SubmissionOthers, in an attempt to categorize submissives, have described submissives by the levels of their submission, moving from role play to slave, while others suggest there are distinct categories of submission, where the motivation behind one’s submission drives their role such as for fantasy, relationship and/or fetish. Acknowledging that all submissives are different and any such categories could only apply in the loosest of terms, I find both model instructive in its own way, yet somehow missing the mark in some aspaspects.The creators of both models clearly identified that each individual submissive is unique and comes to their submission and depth of submission in their own way for their own purpose. And to this, I completely agree. Yet we are humans and we live to label things, so I will offer my own model, recognizing full well that mine too will fall short of describing all submissives and their motivations. I would also note that what I suggest here may have already been put forth. If so, I offer this only as my own ideas without the knowledge of their contribution to our body of knowledge. Thus I would offer a third model for consideration and discussion.I see it more a kin to the structure of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs, Where Maslow identifies our most basic needs, moving from basic survival to self-actualization, I see submissions moving from role play to self-realization. The model I put forth is as follows:     Role play. A connection to the role based on whatever preconceptions or second hand knowledge they may have. While one might act the part, they have no emotional or mental connection to the role.     Exploration. The beginning stages of submissive awareness where thru trial and error or training, real experiences begin the development of a connection to a submissive’s awareness and one's submissive self. This level usually includes an over indulgence or over compensation of doing what they think a sub "should do".     Connection. The birth of inner connectedness to one’s submissive self, and the realization of what it feels like to give of one’s self to another. Hallmarked by a greater sense of self awareness, a growing identity as a submissive and a struggling to reconcile their submissive life with their vanilla life.     Identity and Belonging. The inner awareness and shift of self-identity as a submissive or having submissive side (as in a switch), as a genuine and acknowledged part of their persona. While they may not share this openly with others, inwardly there is a growing conviction that being a submissive is core to their being. While connection can occur at any stage, at this stage, connection to a Dominant becomes more essential to allow for further growth.     Confidence. As identity as a submissive grows and self-esteem relating to the role increases, their confidence of self grows. The focus can now be more inward to understand their submissive needs, who they are as a submissive, and the beginning of blending their submissive self into their vanilla life and identity.     Self-Realization and Connectedness to their Id. Full acceptance of their new identity, as submission is fully integrated into their sense of self. Submission can now fuel their lives and relationships with greater meaning and richer experiences as they fully integrate their submissive-self into their vanilla life. Not every submissive will reach or choose to reach this level. I would welcome comments and ideas for the improvement of this model if others see value in it. 

I'm bewildered by the lack of communication I've noticed many submissives on this site say things like "get in touch", "happy to chat", and "want to learn.." However, many do not even reply. I teach my subs to be open and honest, and that communication is very important in this lifestyle. If for whatever reason a sub thinks I am not what they are looking for, I'd at least expect a reply even just to say, "sorry you're too far from me", or "I'm looking for someone a little younger" etc.  I think that it's still good to chat to different people even if there's no intention to meet or take it further. Especially subs that are new to the scene, surely the more people you talk to, the better informed you'll be, and therefore be able to make better choices when finding a suitable Dom. Obviously I wouldn't expect immediate replies but having a chat and then being ghosted is extremely disrespectful in my opinion, it's not a good start in any potential bdsm relationship. I am sure many Doms or indeed subs, would appreciate feedback of any kind. Sometimes I think that the sub see ONE thing they don't like on my profile and immediately think "no thanks", without even discussing anything. Also, I think some 'subs' don't really know what being a sub entails, I am a very fastidious Dom, I try to train my subs to the best of my ability and expect my sub to be committed to her role. I think some subs just like the fantasy of it all but aren't willing to commit. When I'm selecting a suitable sub, I always have a day session with her first, give her a taste of my methods and explain how she should behave and what is expected of her. There is no commitment either way until after that initial session. That's the end of my little rant. 

Message to women of all natures on here. Not to sound paranoid but I am noticing a flux of messages from European men trying to invite themselves into my company. Can you all be vigilant if a man uses the words relocation and marriage in the same sentence. I have been bitten once by a German man who in my opinion clearly invites himself across Europe into people's homes for free food and stay.  I am assuming there may be a European influencer advising men this is ok. There also seems to be a bit of a scam where a man claims they travel all over the world and then says they won't be back till X date.  I think this is another scam where they claim to be successful and the travelling lifestyle appeals to most but I think it is just another scam.   Luckily, I have not been bitten by that nonsense but ladies be vigilante, give the normal men a chance and the ones acting strange and pretending to be high flyers, don't give them any of your time.   If you want a rich old man go to SugarDaddy.com, if you want a normal kinky man just be patient and kind to others.  

I don't like them innocent I don't want no face fresh Want them wearing leather Begging, let me be your taste test I like the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor But quick to tell me goodbye You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul you used to be? You're a Rolling Stone boy Never sleep alone boy Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy I'm off the deep end, sleeping All night through the weekend Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be I'm searching for something that I can't reach My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be Ghost by Halsey (it's a song)

  While I’m on a break from Fetlife, one thing I’m conscious of is that I tend to post things about looking for someone to go for cups of tea with, visit graveyards, go to bookshops and then snuggle up for reading. It’s pretty silly, but it’s meant sincerely. While I have to stop myself from adding “apply within”, in the end, it reflects how I would like a relationship to start. A thing of meeting for tea, visiting graveyards/taking quiet walks, and sharing a love of books and reading. Of course, it isn’t everything I want, and I hope that’s obvious as this is a kink site. It’s just that, as I’ve probably said so much that people are sick of it, I want to make a connection on a vanilla level and then grow the kink side of things. I’m looking for a band that takes more than just a love of kink, and I want to go slowly and surely. Eventually, I’d want things to develop into something more committed, and deeper, and to bring in other elements. I just don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to be someone’s mistake. I also want to be sure that most of our mutual needs can be met, and that both of us are working on whatever we need to work on - trauma is being addressed, patterns of behaviour are being broken if they’re negative, and so on. I want to be sure that the connection with this hypothetical person is strong, and that it can withstand a lot of shit - because I think life is going to get more, not less, difficult in the next few years. Any relationship is going to have to be strong enough to ride out the coming storms.Adding to this, I suppose I should expound on what I actually want. Before I go on, I should ask that the reader remember that this is me putting things out into the universe, so of course it’s selfish as fuck - I imagine yours would be too… Isn’t that sort of the point? (It strikes me as odd that we both castigate the “I have no limits” people, but also defining what you want can lead to you being accused that “you’re trying to control things and reduce me to a fetish dispenser” - the point is to talk things through and get to a happy medium, surely?). This is my “moon on a stick” list of things I want to have in a relationship. Vanilla: I want a relationship based on love, trust, communication, and sharing, and that reflects shared values. I want something where we can have separate bedrooms, though, in part because I snore horrifically and I feel guilty if I disturb people’s sleep. I also have restless legs - no idea why, but I suspect it’s anxiety related - and so I want to sleep alone to avoid kicking my partner. I also want to have a space that is mine (mine, all mine, bwahahahaha), because I want somewhere I feel I can go to write, create, and study. Or even just curl up if I need to be by myself because sometimes I do. This isn’t a slight against a hypothetical partner, it’s just how I am. I’m very introverted, think I may be an HSP, and there are times when alone feels like bliss - not because of who the other person is, or anything they’ve done… just because I need that time by myself for my sanity. Touch is, however, very important to me and is probably my primary love language, so I would like a lot of that. I enjoy acts of service too and supporting the person I’m with. I like giving massages and other forms of body worship too. I am happy to take responsibility for housework, cooking, and other domestic chores. This being said, I am a writer and I do need time to work and I expect that to be respected in a relationship. I hope my partner will have their own passions outside of kink and that they can be things we can share (books, board games, cats - you know, stuff like that). I value creativity, so I’d love it if they were also a writer or an artist, or something like that.  I know we don’t have to be completely in tandem, but at the same time, I have learned that shared passions are very often the key to a relationship and that losing that common ground can spell disaster. I’m not sure how I feel about having children - I used to be very opposed but now, I just don’t know.   

Public Service Announcement For those who have a tendency to delete their own profiles multiple times in a few weeks just because they're getting contacts from people of a less desirable gender, age, role, or location there is the option to set Mail Controls so that messages from people of:   certain genders- either any, or who identify as certain kinky orientations outside of specified age ranges outside of your country of residence part of a couple's profile a situation where they have no profile available at the time of contact ... go into the Bulk folder, and thus you don't get a notification that they've contacted you. Depending on how hard-core you are about your filters, you can delete every message that appears in there unread.You can either follow the link I included above, or you can find the Mail Controls button at the top, right-hand corner after clicking on "Read Mail."Now, if you tend to dig into your Bulk Mail no matter what, um, good luck with that.

Detecting stolen pictures in a profileWant to find out if a picture has appeared elsewhere on the web? There are three good ways I know of: Google Image Search (https://www.google.com/imghp), Tineye (http://www.tineye.com/), and Yandex (https://yandex.com/images/). Google is fairly comprehensive, but Tineye sometimes finds some that Google does not. Yandex finds lots that neither of the other two do.Just open Google Image Search and drag the pic from another window onto it* (first onto the tab, then when the tab appears, onto the main target page; a target area will appear). This is all one drag operation; don't release on the tab or you'll just go to the Collarspace profile.The same technique works with Tineye and Yandex except the entire tab page is the target.*There are some browser plugins for Tineye – but I suggest that adding plugins to a browser that aren’t necessary just slows it down; I recommend not bothering.*Collarspace sometimes does some security stuff that breaks the direct-drag URL access described above (Google will complain: "The URL doesn't refer to an image, or the image is not publicly accessible."). If the direct drag doesn't work directly, first drag the pic to your desktop, then in a separate operation, drag the result to search application.(Last updated: 10 Feb 2022)

A letter to God   Is it an image that lies Cuz i believe You don't  Yet looking around  And what scenes i see Baffle as drivers Create accidents and We all know accidents  Happen because well, Who is driving, after all  And surrender tastes  Bittersweet yet i have been Beat beyond what time Can tell any for many may Believe it's easy, this life  That now aches inside  My body and beyond mind For what i know to be true Is what a friend shared To simply live, love and do For You, for ultimately  We die and no one cares And most of humanity  Cannot dare heaven On Earth but from birth  We learn to yearn for what Loss brought when fate Raped destiny and man Lost and woman lost And no children were Bred because soon Enough we will be Better off dead...     zamarra  7/13/24  

Hello everyone!  subMeghan here... As you guys know, my dom requires me to disslose the fact that as I type this, I, subMeghan, puppygirl and submissive, am completely nude, wearing only my dog collar and glasses... Sorry for not writing sooner, but we've been busy and I didn't think I had much to say. I will say that my last journal entry here was an "interesting" experience.  For those of you you don't have the time to go look at it, basically my dom was pleasuring / teasing me as I typed my journal.  Frankly I'm surprised I was able to type anything remotely comphresensible.  lol Hmm...  I think my dom is up to something... He's been looking over my shoulder as i type. He just handed me my ball gag and has instructed me to put it on.  Stand by... Done.  So this is naked subMeghan, wearing only my dog colla, glasses and now my ball gag...  I wonder where is going to go...  ;)  Ah, I see...  Now that I'm gagged and can't talk he has directed me to respond to him by typing my responses to him right here.  My responses to you master are to be in bold face?  Is that correct, sir? My dom has just dropped a couple of clothes pins in my lap and said "you know where these go?"  Indeed I do, sir! These go on my nipples , sir!  So now I'm naked subMeghan, wearing only my dog collar, glasses, ball gag and clothes pins on my nipples. Is that all, sir?  No?  Ok, what do you want me to do? Ha! My dom just loves teasing me. Now he has just dropped a pair of handcuffs in front of me.  I guess we're going to take this up a knotch.  Sir, if I cuff my hands behind my back, I don't think I'll be able to type.  Ok, he wants my hands behind my back.  Here we go... k  typing like this super hard  i move keyboard to edge of thev desk and i hav to stand up so i can reach around and type wiyh 1 finger.  this is naked submeghan wearing dog collar glasses gag clothes pins and cuffs.  my dom is laughing at me an says i look like a stupid dork. good 4 me i happen to know he has a thing for nerdy girls lol my dom sayys to say goodbye because hes going to make me dance for him then fuck me bye

  Pain or Punishment    Masochists ask for pain for pains sake & need   ...but punishment is something different.    Punishment is not meant to please it is a means to correct, to re-aline, to educate, to change a behaviour.    Punishment means you are going to suffer physically or mentally or even both.   There will be no fun or excitement in punishment but it likely to be very memorable. 

As required by my Dom, I publicly declare the following: I am subMeghan, and as I type this this, I am completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses… Today’s Journal Topic Is: Why The Fuck Haven’t I Posted Any More Journal Updates! I actually get this question a lot.  Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem.  Apparently, you guys are actually reading my journals!  And why, pray tell, is that a bad thing? Well, I’m going to tell you… When I first started journaling here, I wrote as if I was speaking into the void.  I wasn’t writing for an audience, rather I was writing merely for the sake of publicly letting my inner thoughts leave my body and go forth into the vast e-universe.  I thought I was just a “voice in the wilderness” to be lost in the chasm of anonymity. It was a stream of consciousness, a flow of thoughts. It was kinda like talking outloud to yourself, not thinking anyone was listening. However… that was not the case...  You were listening.  And now you all had access to the part of my psyche that I kept hidden away, kept in the shadows, away from “polite” society.  And worse yet…  You had questions! I had mistakenly thought that CS was just another fetish website that was here today, and then be gone tomorrow like so many other sites.  Boy, was I wrong.  LOL I stopped writing because I became very self-conscious.  VERY self-conscious.  I quickly ran away from the spotlight as soon as I felt it’s light upon my exposed soul.  Who the hell am I to have the audacity to think I have anything of substance to say to a listening world? I have never liked being the center of attention.  I am a wallflower, the kind of gal that always stands at the edges of a crowd.  I am quiet, reserved, and passive.  I am a watcher, an observer - not a performer.  And certainly not, heaven forbid, an extrovert! Over time, I’ve been able to reflect.  I’ve decided to start posting again.  I suspect the tone of my journal entries will change, much like Schrodinger's cat, now that I am aware that I’m being watched.  We’ll see.  I will let this journal entry be the start of a new chapter in subMeghan’s ongoing adventure. Here’s to the journey! subMeghan    

Let me make this very clear. You crossed a line you should have known better than to approach. You do not get upset with me for living my life, and you do not question how I choose to spend my time, especially when it involves my family. The fact that you felt entitled to react that way tells me you lack the discipline and awareness required to be anywhere near me. That is not submission. That is immaturity. So I’m correcting this quickly. I am pulling back your access. There will be no sessions, no casual conversation, no expectation of my time until I decide otherwise. If you are going to remain here at all, you will take this time to reflect and adjust yourself. Stronger boundaries are now in place. You will respect my time, my life, and my priorities without hesitation or commentary. If that is something you struggle with, then this ends here. Decide accordingly. Happy Mother's Day to me you sorry worthless excuse for a human.  — Goddess Nikki

Fall and Winter 2021 update. Lisa's desires for younger/youthful gurls: "If you are a younger Domme Gurl; whom would like an older sub/slave woman, and you would like to take that extra Control over her. Your using and humiliating her lifestyle to your pleasure; then please read on further. And, what could be more humiliating for an older woman when she kneels incestuously before someone young enough to be her daughter or granddaughter?" A lovely lady lesbian, lecherous, lascivious, seeking similar, saucy, sexy, sophisticated, stylish, social, slender, smooth, similar senioress sisters. update information........Lisa and Brenda now live here together as two wonderful lovingly respectful, honestly honorable ladies from another gender. We so enjoy the compatibility of each other, our integrity, character, honesty, candor with each other---appreciation it is, totally. The feeling of being subjugated to another in all aspects of my daily life--- is an unfilled dream of so many of us gurls. Lisa is now finally retired, and she would lose total Control if someone was "in charge" of her breasts constantly, for they are the most sensitive part of her whole body !!! Sex, is rapidly moving to the back burner so to speak---due to these advancing years!

   Submit to yourself and to the idea of submission. Give in. Give it up.    She will see it. She will be drawn to it. She will know.      She will hear your cry and see your hunger and it will cause Her own to rise    Express it without hesitation and without vulgarity.    And most importantly, express it with dignity and in a language of whispers only She will hear. Live it from your center, from your soul. 

I'd also like to add that when I'm not in a tpe relationship and I'm just looking to play with someone for fun, most of this list doesn't matter. That just gets down to simple negotiation about what you want to do and what your safe words are. My list of qualities are for relationships only. As a submissive, you have every right to make a list of qualities that you're looking for in a dominant. If they don't fit what you're looking for, no matter how attractive or engaging they are, you need to keep looking. It's worth it to find what you need.   There are plenty of people out there who will be a good fit. There's nothing wrong with being picky and getting what you want.

I am a bit concerned over the mail I get here on Collarspace.My profile CLEARLY states that I am a very happily owned bisexual slave.  I have been owned for eleven years. So why do all these male subs, switches and Doms mail me about becoming either their pet or serving me? I just do not understand. My profile seems very clear and concise to me. Are there that many Trolls that just resond to my pictures without even bothering to read my profile? Are these men complete idots who simply can't Master the english language? I am polite to people but I find these folks to be annoying. Please stop

No one stays around for long. This is the famous words, I hear:                             "I don't think I can relocate after all, have lived here all my life"                           "I need some space to clear my head, it's not you, I am just so confused"                   "I can't get you out of my head, I tried by not talking to you and it just made me want to talk to you more, I just want to be with you, but I am so confused," And in all of this?? "It's NOT you!"   What else am I suppose to think?                      BOYS have your ducks in a row, BEFORE a Mistress spends time directing you, with her words and stories, to begin the molding of your spirit to her will.                              That is just a small example of what I have gotten. This is also why a Mistress usually talks to several  boys at the same time.

Why do I exist: Why do I exist in this vast expanse? A fleeting speck in the cosmic dance, Am I a mere accident of chance, Or part of a grand, divine romance?   Do I wander aimlessly without a cause, Lost in the labyrinth of life's applause? Am I a whisper in nature's laws, Or a beacon in destiny's claws?   Do I exist to love and to dream, To unravel the mysteries that gleam? Am I a ripple in life's stream, Or a figment of an endless scheme?   Why do I exist, I often ponder, In this universe, do I wander? Am I a question without an answer, Or a journey to realms much grander?   In the silence of night, I search for clues, In the stars, in the wind, in the morning dew. Why do I exist? Is there a muse To guide me through this cosmic ruse?   Questions linger, unanswered still, In the depths of my being, an unquenchable thrill. Why do I exist? Time's hands fulfill The mystery of life, a quest until

i'm always in a very weird place in my spaces on earth. in every sense of the word i'm 'in the worlds but not of it'.   when i connect with my mermaid and water being feminine people and try to befriend them and socialize, i'm often come across man hating retroic. men ain't shit. kill men. a mermaid would never be with a man. if you are wanting to be married by a man something is wrong with you. a mermaid is never meant to be tamed. brimstone and fire.   probably partly because of my virgo rising and partly because of my priestess nature i can't relate. in my heart of hearts how i approach romantic and sexual framework with men is  in a perfect world a sacred slavery mentality. honor, worship, respect, reverence, and deep feminine care and caressing and holding is how my dream is in my heart and my mind. in a perfect world i am always claimed by the mother ocean, but she is holding place and will hold my hand off in divine union and marriage to my master husband. this mermaid knows in a perfect world in my heart of hearts the divine masculine which would in a perfect world translate to a man in real life on earth in the flesh owns me heart, mind, body and soul. and it tends to express that most men that have attempted to date me tend to be on a soulmate level, some things die hard and my soul is built for a deeper cosmic way of loving and fucking than what most superficial people see.    in a alternative space group i saw a whack ass man proudly show his bdsm tools like a big inflated ego boy in a group that is clearly not just 18+  probably wanting some ego stroking saying just had a good session. it got lots of comments. i'm sure some womens panties were fulfilled by that. i looked at it as true goddess of devotion on a deeper moment. session? how does that translate to your world. your life. you packed it up and you closed it out. what about your next breath, your next step, your next hand hold, your next eye stare..the next intent of the energy you speak to her. how does your session carry out in your 24/7 lifestyle of devotion servitude mastery and slavery? dominance and submission? you can only hold it for  a session that is good and requiring or preferring some tools to achieve that ecstatic level of pleasure and absolute sinking into each other. that's cute. but what about the end goal, complete devotion and union. or is it just for a quick dopamine run and back to being vanilla lower cylinder working engagements between each other and life goes on. because if not we all know while in a perfect world it would include financial, cohabitating, family future planning generational security stability community elevating discussions between both parties as a power couple of house if it's multiple people involved......it doesn't have to be and can go on without cohabitating, without the legal contract change...though i still don't understand why most men want to own women but don't have the balls to legally take her as property and change her name to seal the full deal. so many come across, i haven't thought about that, there are ways of doing it without getting the law involved, we don't need the governmental intuition we have to operate under to know she's my property as long as it's in our hearts it's ok...always comes off as a cop out to me. but i know everyone is built different. tools can be fun but it's just like yoga, in the west anasa is so popular because we don't know how to get still inside to get to the real higher work of the various limbs of study and practice. and still doesn't have to be sitting, meditation is also dance movement and action. it's a stillness in the mind.   some of my dark goddess sisters both of the sophia original source encoded soul that are different copies of my own self....or others with a different original divine feminine soul encoded on them(sophia isn't the only form of the divine feminine, it's just WHO i am...so what MY mission is...MY journey..MY teachings...and my lived path to walk) continue the man hate. men deserve to die. nwords ain't shit. fuck a guy. i hate men.   i can't relate.   i've never had a man in real life protect, provide, or care for me. i've been in clubs by myself and have drunk men try to hug me, touch my arms, rub  up on my breasts and inappropriate get in my space. i've had to push men off  one, two, three, four times very visibly public. i've had to say loudly no, more than once. no bouncer at the clubs come. none of the men in the vicinity that can hear me(my voice is loud and piercings and energetic and many a person has said i talk too loud naturally) and they don't break from their girlfriends, wives, friend groups to come over and say stop bro. or to say are you okay? or is everything alright. they stay on the sidelines watching as i the dark goddess have to rise to protect myself.   i've dated men who see when i'm out and about other men try to approach me that i'm uncomfortable with and they've laughed it off, making me rise to the challenge to assert myself i'm with a guy and even if i wasn't this invasion of space is inappropriate.    i've been through so many daddies that want to inappropriately harness my overtly sexual little girl with no promise of provision, protection, guidance, care, and structure that the daddy dominant is supposed to provide. i've had them break me so much i've wanted to die when that carrot stick of the ultimate romantic mix of nurturing and strength and slightly sinister love gets taken away.   i've been assaulted in that way and when i told the man i was dating at the time, instead of being a righteous archangel michael divine masculine encoded self asked what was i wearing, what was i doing maybe i did something to provoke it. when i go through the questions and ask for them to come over to hug me, to reset my body my nervous system, to heal me from what their brother did and get myself reacclimated to what i have always known in my heart of hearts to be what the real masculine the true masculine is..i was rejected but he loved me.   and on and on...i have every experience to join the men ain't shit nword ain't shit kill men.....and i'm just not wired that way.   even recognizing the world isn't perfect, and that i wasn't born to be on the regular track where men in reality come to my rescue, show up for me, open the doors for me, hold me, watch me, make sure i'm okay, provide the stability, structure, care and support of just a regular vanilla way or an elevated power dynamic way....i don't' waver from the mission of 5d.. a higher cosmic love and union..i don't waver from the truth i've been seen.   there's the sauce of real life...and then there's the truth of what is beyond in the ethers.   and in the eithers.....i'm so divinely cared for and protected, cherished and loved. while the men in reality cannot hold the energetics of the transformative fiery goddess i am that will require them to constantly level up, to grow, to face their fears, be called out on their mistakes, be pushed to elevate, grow, emotionally stretch, touch feelings they could hide and side step from everyone else, and to always be tracked and seen energetically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally.....the divine form is always here.   and so while it's not a perfect world, i am incapable of losing the respect, the reverence, the worship, the care, the holding, the deep sense of devotion to the man in spirit. i don't have to receive a gift on a date,  i don't have to be asked out on a physical date, i don't have to have the door held open, i don't have have dinner paid for me, i don't have to receive an engagement ring, i don't have to re

Dear maste,daddy,mistress, mommy,Im a french sissy slave 57 on good shape living in Palawan Philippines.Serving  as a sub slave for household duty and sex is my dream.Being dress as a maid for my service ,as an inmate for my punishment as an retardate teen girl for going outI love to be keep on chastity and diaper full time , wear 50s style lingerie, girdles,full cup bra,garter belt, stocking and more.Being keep on chain, shackles,collard for punishment are good for me.Correction and education by flogging, spanking, whipping or more are again normal. Feel free to ask me anything!   Hope you have interest on meCheersSissy Melanie

  A day in service    I rise at dawn, my body sore, To chores and tasks, and much, much more. The floor I scrub, the dust I chase, A flick of the wrist, a stern command sets the pace.   Her coffee brewed, just so, just right, I dare not fail, in morning's light. Her silk robe flows, a queenly sight, I bow my head, avoid her light.   The day is long, a string of tests, To prove my worth, to quell her jests. A word of praise, a precious prize, Reflected in her knowing eyes.   The afternoon, a humbler task, Her boots to clean, that's all I ask. To kneel and wipe, to polish well, The story that my movements tell.   The sun descends, the day is done, The final test has now begun. She summons me with one sharp look, My place is found, my writing's in a book.   Her throne awaits, a velvet chair, I crawl toward her, breathless, aware. The day's devotion finds its end, My goddess, whom I can't transcend.   Her sacred space, my final quest, My weary head upon her breast. My tongue performs the rite so true, My world is her, in every hue.

OK OK OK OK OK OOOOOKAYY Attn: MASTERS /OWNERS   i offically have the funds to get me anywhere in the united states i think. if you dont know me by now i have been seeking and owner /master to spend the rest of our times together. with that been said allow me to tell you ALLL about me incase your intrested in onwing a sissy pet. (Ps. excuse any grammer erros and or misspelling)  MY NAME IS MATEO OCAMPO AKA: MAKAYLA ERMOSA..   i am currently 24 going on 25 on april 9. i am average to fit build. hmmm lemmie see well im an aries but a very unique on... since my characteristics lean towards leading and what not and knowing i am not one to assume a leadership rolll  anything that over powers me. enslaves me or take the ability away to do what i want TURNS ME THE HECK ON!!! i crave it dramatically lol   knowing that ive develoed a sumissive personality and beacame a really really obidient little sissy property piece not to mention my youth and sexy boddy heeehee .....--- hmm this isnt coming out to well so ill stop right here and will rewrite on this topic when i get a spontaioius streak of the proper thought and bettter explained    nevertheless for now here you go  please feel free to ask away   just if you can possable make it a multiplle choice questions lol it would help me answer better lol    umm but yea long story short:   i have money to buy a ticket and go anywhere in the US i am a very willing kind obident sexxy little play thing looking to be owned. i am very adaptable and could be molded into literally LITERALLY anything you desire and pretty dam good at it too  lol (  i could just tell ) :)   so imagnin haveing a sexii little thing in the palm of your hands.. within a few weeks of training you have a very willing enthousiastic sissy toy doing exactly what you crave exactlly the way you crave it. sound yummy huh lol   so freaken florida is making it hard to obtain HRT and since i stopped before the bill went into place theres even more hurtles to get them :( it sucks so bad i havent been on inlike 3-4 month i think... i forgot... so one of the very first things i want to do is get back on HRT as soon as possible.  but dont worry im still cute petite and feminim :) juss saying lol 

Getting the most from messagingThis site isn't like social media. Nor is it like whatsapp. It's something different. I noticed this when I had my pervious profile and want to make a couple of things clear. For me, you'll get the best results from a long form message. Something more like email or a letter. Its a bit like Tinder or Grinder. You get the best results when you have something more to say than 'hello'. If you're interested, say that. If you're looking for something long term say that too. Most of us get deluged with messages from all sides that are simply a single line of text. I delete those unread.Why?Simple: because no relationship or true D/s dynamic is going to develop from a string of one line messages. The D/s dynamic requires high levels of trust and openness. Such trust and openness cannot develop from single lines. At some point more information needs to be givem.But what if I am better at talking than writing? Well that's an easy one - speech to text apps exist. They're accurate and easy to use. Seriously, I once had a correspondent who tried this on my suggestion and it was the best conversation I'd had on my old profile up to that point. He thanked me afterwards because he was getting more replies.I don't have time for long messages. This will sound harsh, but you don't then have time for BDSM or a D/s dynamic either. For dominants, the level of attention a submissive needs is usually quite high at first. Sure they'll eventually require less attention to maximise the relationship from, but early on you'll need to invest time. As I said earlier, trust doesn't form from nowhere. If I'm going to let you tie me up and spank me, if I'm going to willingly place myself in a position so vulnerable I need to trust you.Of coruse, all of what I say here are observations of mine. Not every sub will feel the same, nor will every Dom(me). This is just my two penny worth. I do seriously recommend to everyone though, a longer message is better than a short one. In a sea of one-line messages it makes you stand out too!For me who works shift patterns sometimes I can only get to checking the site once a day, but when I do I'll respond to the most interesting messages, or the people with whom a connection has developed first. Tara xox

I am a consistent creative relentless Disciplinarian knowing through long personal experience that a well spanked whipped strapped belted humiliated paddled woman  whether submissive or slave gives her very best of whatever is wanted from her whenever its wanted   I love her tears  and sobs  her semi-hysterical begging  and pleading for mercy these are all mine  to bring about and enjoy as I get her most humble her most slavish  Obedience for the things  I will make her do the things  that deeply please me  and just as deeply humiliate her McB  

  But would I talk about my need for your attention? Talk about my desires for naked intimacy, so close and nearly breathless, kisses sweet and juicy, long and short, tongues and fingers intertwining as I try to lick and suck every square inch of your body, the honorarium of your gift and my reception, the stoke of your cock into my opening mouth, hungry to be fed, to be filled, to be possessed by you, penetrated, taken, lust smeared over my uplifted breasts, over my mound, rubbed against my clit, hands pulling it aside with eager participation, equally wanting to lay back, but also to lay you back, concentrate on your growling desire now being swirled with my saliva, my love wetness, stoking you into my mouth, your hips thrusting, your words spoken of being your slut, the one that will get to be used, our passion exalted between us, like a plug into an electrical outlet of my holes....my chant of yes Daddy, yes Daddy...both silent, murmured, coming out loud in my head as I join you on the edge of our orgasm...ride it, babe, ride it...   That's what I would talk about.

Above all else, I’d like my ideal M/s dynamic to be established on and occupied with love. Mutual respect is a must. W/we would foremost seek to meet each other’s needs completely in a monogamous relationship. He would be in charge, make the decisions, rules and protocols; but seek my input where appropriate and value my opinion. I would like to wear His collar (and leash when appropriate) as a reminder of O/our commitment. Shared interests, in both vanilla and kink activities, should be present. Shared values would also be helpful, in both social, religious and financial concerns. I would hope, after some time, that this type of relationship might lead to a union of marriage or long term cohabitation / commitment. Broadly, I’d like the power exchange dynamic to permeate the relationship both in and out of the bedroom 24/7, but that W/we both have our lives and lead them together and apart. I do not seek to be a “kept” slave, but I do want to know He is in control at all times. This can take the form of rules, protocols, and expectations / goals. I would expect that full discussion of limits (hard and soft) would be discussed thoroughly, and that safe words wouldn’t be necessary or allowed once trust was established. This would aid in the vast possibility of CNC activities (within the confines of the pre-established limits). I would hope He would also push my limits over time. While W/we are together, He would exert His dominance in whatever way He chooses. I would attempt to anticipate His needs, but obey His requests as made. These requests could be sexual, domestic, or kink in nature. As a masochist, it would be helpful if He were a Sadist. I want to know He is getting as much out of the impact play as I am. This Sadistic predilection would also aid in intensifying the play and intensifying the benefit W/we both receive from it. I would expect that protocols would be established to help define the power exchange dynamic. These would be different when W/we were together alone, or together in public (or with family and vanilla friends). Public protocols would be known to us, but invisible to those around us such as waiting until He takes a bite until beginning to eat, sitting on a specific side, looking for a head nod to get up from a meal, wearing an insertable while out, etc. In private, protocols might include clothing restrictions, eye contact restrictions, greeting positions, speaking, bedtime rituals, distance, etc. Protocols would also assist Him in maintaining control when W/we weren’t together. These might include communication requirements, requesting permission (i.e. to do things or go places), journaling, maturbation, bedtimes, curfews, and the like. The concept of “protect His property” would be an overarching protocol that would manifest as rules / protocols when apart, but when in doubt “protect His property”. The idea that when W/we are together, He is looking out for my best interest and safety, but when apart, that job falls to me. I would expect that He would want me to grow and better myself. He would help me establish goals and hold me accountable to reaching them. These goals could be educational, health, career, kink, etc in nature. Periodic oversight and/or establishing benchmarks would be useful in ensuring progress. Punishment or negative reinforcement would need to be outlined so expectations are clear. I always strive to be the “good girl”, however, I would expect punishment if deserved. While I wouldn’t never fail or disobey to get a punishment, I would need to believe that followthrough on punishment would be made if I deserved it. Punishment would be warranted when protocols were broken or if progress toward goals hadn’t been met. I realize that punishment is hard to define for a masochist, but not impossible.

So I'm at the gym today  I witness this tall white male with an extremely fit body in these light blue tights with a tiny tiny bulge it was giving squirrel nuts. Now that's not the issue! I watch him go and put all the weights he could find on to the leg press thingamajiig, and I mean it was filled to the rim (no pun intended) He lays flat on his back and lift the weights with his legs. Now here is where things got interesting. He just lifted the weight (that was obviously to heavy) one time and strained for at least 10 minutes. I mean not one single rep done. Veins popped out of his forehead and sweating like a hydrated crackhead. I asked my friend should I go ask him if he would like to come to my BDSM party because he must just enjoy pain 

The only people I judge are judgmental people themselves. OK, and people who've asked me to judge them. But that totally muddies the nice, clean quote. ;) I have kicked around this scene of ours for long enough that I remember when YKINMKBIOK was plain survival. Before the web got into every home, if you knew a few people in your area, who were into kink, you clung to them. It didn't matter that I was into the mental side of things, into D/s, while one of them was into sploshing, another into male masochism and the third was into vinyl. That there were three others who were just as weird as me was AMAZING. The huge growth of the scene, that we worked hard for, has been a huge blessing. But it's also given us so many others, that we can find so easily, it's easy to slip into judging others because, well, we'll have plenty of friends left. Don't like the way they do rope? Let's label them as wrong or dangerous. Squick over diapers? Let's call them freaks and borderline pedophiles. Don't like the way they do heavy mental play? Clearly abusers! And look how much better it makes our insecure selves feel about ourselves that we've managed to tear down others! That's not me. I can't do it. I'm not into Daddy/little. I'm not into diapers. Fifty Shades isn't my BDSM ideal. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of O, or Gor, either. But I love that others are! I love that you freaks and perverts have  so much passion for the things you love. I think it's amazing, the really strong relationships you build around your interests. I am so deeply, deeply, happy that you can find peace in who you are. Your Kink Is Not My Kink But It's OK. It's more than OK. Not for me, but I love that it works for you and good luck to you!

  Do you have an all consuming foot fetish? If so, you could be the foot slave I am looking for. Duties to include full pedicures, moisturising, massaging and stroking etc. you may also be used as a foot stool should I so desire.  you must be be no further than an hour from me ( East Sussex ) as weekly visits will be required if not more. Shortlisted, you will be given my location and required to meet Me over coffee or wine, depending on my mood. Reply with FOOT SLAVE in the title and garnish me with why you should be considered. One line messages will be deleted. Stand out from the crowd.  M M 

  A Dominant should never have to demand ritual behaviour from Their submissive.  Their submissive responds to Them out of the want and need of pleasing Them.  Compliance comes from the desire to please and submit to the will and expectations of them as a submissive and not through the fear of punishment. More about a fear of failing to succeed and be pleasing as well as failing themselves as a sub.   

Vanilla Life In my vanilla life:   Lost in the pages of spiritual gems like the Master Key System, Secret, and the wisdom-filled "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari." I'm also captivated by the magic found in books like "The Magic of Thinking Big," "The Power of Letting Go," and the timeless "The Power of Now." On a different note, I love getting lost in the realms of romantic fiction.   Yoga and jogging are my go-to activities for staying active and centered. I've delved into the realm of Reiki, even gaining practical experience, and I've honed my massage skills from the knowledge I've gathered.   My love for adventure extends to frequent trips and hiking. I'm intrigued by hypnosis, fascinated by the idea of my mind being guided by a partner's influence.   In moments of relaxation, I'm an avid reader and practitioner of deep breathing techniques. Idle moments used to be a challenge, but I'm making strides in embracing them.   Gaming was once a significant part of my life, with a PS4 that hosts titles like Red Dead Redemption 2, GTA V, Call of Duty (Aw, MW), Wolfenstein, Hitman (from Code name 47 to Blood Money), NFS (up until Payback), Max Payne, and the list goes on.

What being a little/middle is for me For me it is not a choice. I am a natural little and middle because of things that both happened and didn't happen. I'm not a roleplay little I have involuntary age regression! I need to feel safe and be protected during these times. I also have little/middle traits during every day life and even more so when I feel something is wrong or I did something wrong. So the lifestyle allows me to be accepted as I am and can't help but be. I'm extremely inquisitive, at times super bouncy, needy, playful, well behaved, but I can also be ornery ( in a playful way) , I have some difficulty understanding things, I make mistakes in verbalizing what I mean or need at times, I need alot of reassurance especially in the beginning. Although I am a passenger princess, I have difficulty just asking for attention, I'm super into my person and lovey.

Something that might be useful to consider - When you write someone, especially a femme presenting person on here who is probably drowning in crap emails,  and you say any variation of "love your profile" or "I read your profile" - we can look at Who's Viewing Me? with just a simple click of the mouse, to SEE if you actually read that profile. If your name isn't there, then we know without any further effort that you are  1) a liar who will say whatever they think will get their dick wet and 2) lazy. You couldn't even put in the 3 to 5 minute effort to read and find out who we are before lying. Add in that most of us put something in the profile to sort out the time wasters, like a code word or request. That way we can see at a glance, often without even opening the email and just hovering our mouse over it, if the email has that code word or request honored. Which means only people (guys) that actually make that effort will get read or responded to. Because I can tell you after nearly 20 years on this site that the guys who don't read your profile NEVER show up. At all. They almost to a man write minimal responses to any reply they get, always about what they want done to them, and they are usualy just wanting free phone sex at most. They are a waste of time and effort, because they aren't here for actual BDSM or any variation thereof. No one wants to cater to that. Which is why we usually just delete the email without reading further.  If you actually DO want to find a BDSM partner, you need to make that effort, READ that full profile, and figure out if the person behind that pretty picture is actualy compatible with your interests, then write a REAL email to that human being much like if you walked up to them on the street, mentioning whatever code words or requests are in it, and what it was that you offer that they are wanting.  I know its slow and frustrating and a lot of work, but the alternative is being the spammer that everyone deletes automatically.

I love the Q&A moment after wild sex. My new guest pulling out his cigerette in my bed and asking thoose tender questions. Why are you into asphyxiation? You don't look the type to enjoy anal play? Is there a type - is always my response. Appreciating that this guest brought properly fitting condoms and wine but cared to bring another bottle as a gift is in fact a gift, makes a change from the Greek. This one cooks, appreicates I live in a small space but he orientates very quickly and enjoys sticking on the radio to hear the football but tender enough to ask what else do I sexually enjoy. Will be spending the day removing the santorum stain off my duvet cover, thank god for baking soda. Openly dating is very fun.

So some people don't like someone contacting them telling them what they are into, like it's some sort of afront, like they can't have kinks, because you know, it's all about me.   But here's the kicker, it isn't all about you, it about a mtually beneficial arrangement.  If one side is not having their needs and desires met, then they will lose interest. And if someone writes to you and says hey, I like you profile, I'm into... Maybe they're just excited, maybe your profile excited them enough to open up. Unless the message is basically them demanding you do stuff to them without negotiation, then what's the harm really? This is not from a place of experience, I myself do not contact people and go hey I love being humiliated do you like that? Because it's not how I am, I'm a little less excited about this lifestyle after 30+ years in it. But that doesn't mean I don't get excited, it just means I take my time doing it. So don't be harsh on people if they get excited by you, to be fair it's probably a compliment. Anyway, stay safe, have fun

Using a journal entry so I don't have to wait for approval to change my profile.  I'm 50 now and no longer a vegetarian.  I do not have any pets.  I'm no longer looking to move outside of Michigan.  I need to stay here due to the license for my job.  Moving within Michigan might be an option.   Things I'm truly looking for:  an intelligent, service oriented submissive who is between the ages of 40 and 55 and who is both single and available for a long term relationship.   Hard limits:  chastity, cross dressers or sissy maids, pegging, people who try to masturbate to my emails, people who have one main kink and only want that need met, people who don't read my profile, people who expect Barbie with a whip and leather catsuit.    I want to have fun with this again!

Are you ready? Because this one chaps my ass. Do you watch Hulu? Have you noticed the ads for hims meds that are for erectile dysfunction? and the ads for hers that are for anxiety disorders? Let's pause for a moment. The number one concern for this company is that men's dicks are working and women's brains are under control. What about his anxiety? What about her sexual dysfunctions? More women have trouble with orgasms than men, but there isn't a pill for that. Why? You know what the top medical issues are for men? Heart disease, diabetes, and stroke. For women? Heart disease, breast cancer, and cervical or ovarian cancer. Hmm, what's missing? You know what's missing? Wilfred fucking Brimley telling you to eat some oatmeal. The more nonfiction I ingest, the more I believe that women should run the world. No more pissing contests, all the kids would have food, and we'd have one massive war of all wars and then it would be done because we are ruthless and loving creatures. I'm kidding, but I'm also not. Pay attention to what you're seeing. Ask yourself these questions... What's the story? What's the other untold story? Who has the power? You'll see emerging patterns and maybe even want to join my army. And to that I say start soldiering in your own backyard and fight misogyny in your circle of friends. Use your male privilege to help balance the scale. 

My dog clogged the toilet.  Okay, technically, I am the one who flushed the wipes, but it was all her. You know those treats that fit into some sort of holder and are meant to occupy the dog for quite some time? She ripped the holder and instead of it taking hours to eat the treat, she ate it in a matter of minutes. Everything seemed fine. And then I woke around 2:30 to her trying to eat a great big pile of mush that had just come out of her butt. Gross. So what do I do? I grab flushable wipes to clean it up. And then I flush them. And then the toilet revolted. Thank the lord I have more than one because I forgot about it until I came back upstairs and it's still unuseable. I looked up how to fix this. There is no magic solution to pour in there and dissolve them. The plunger is most definitely not working. I cannot call a plumber and tell him the dog clogged the toilet. This is just another problem for Tomorrow Me. And probably Middle of the Night Me. And that's not even the end of the story, but that's all I've got left to give tonight.  *Update*  I FIXED IT!!! I seriously thought I was going to have to explain this to a plumber. I just spent a lot of time plunging. And um, then I had to pee. So maybe I had the magic solution because right after I tinkled, flushed, and plunged, it worked. Natural plumber, at your service. 

What am I seeking?:A strong, dominant male. No older than 50ish. Someone who can have decent conversation and whom is intelligent. Someone who is preferably a Daddy Dom but who is also stern & strict when needed. Also, someone who isn’t focused solely on sex. Why? Because this lifestyle is about way more then that. I also am not interested in someone who only uses sexual things as punishments. That has never made sense to me. I want a friend, a companion. I need someone I can trust and build a bond with. Once again, I am not looking for a sexual based dynamic. Sure, sex is great and all but that really isn’t what the lifestyle is 100% about. I’m not looking for someone to control sexual aspects of my marriage, I keep the two things separate as best I can. I do good with rules but of course not all sexual rules. I need help remembering to take my meds, do my chores and such. About me:32, West Virginia, I tend to identify as a sub/kitten/little. Meaning I kinda wear many hats. I need a Dom who can appreciate all sides of me and not make me shove one of them aside. I’m not abdl at all, that’s not who I am as a little.I want someone who wants to get to know me as a person, a friend and a sub.

3 things you’ve done today: - SHOWERED TWICE. - PAINTED A CERTAIN PART OF THE KITCHEN FLOOR GLOSSY WHITE. - CUT GRASS OUT FRONT. 3 things you’ve purchased recently: - DORITOS. - CRANBERRY JUICE. - FOLGERS COFFEE. 3 things you’ve eaten today: - MAC & SHEESE. - BEANS. - BREAD. 3 movies you enjoy: - 'BEETLEJUICE'. - 'THE HUNGER'. - 'CAT PEOPLE'. 3 of your favorite bands: - DURAN DURAN. - SIOUXSIE & THE BANSHEES. - DEPECHE MODE. 3 songs you enjoy: - 'ENJOY THE SILENCE'. - 'ORNAMENTS OF GOLD'. - 'NEW MOON ON MONDAY'. 🎼🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶💜 3 things you wish for: - I WISH MY MOM NEVER PASSED-ON & SHE WAS STILL HERE WITH US. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - I REALLY WISH EVERY LAST UNCONSCIONABLE LOWLIFE REPUBLICAN IS VOTED THE FOCK OUT OF OFFICE SOON. 😑😑😑😑😑 - W EED. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 3 things you’re wearing: - BLACK BAGGY SHORTS. - A PAIR OF WHITE KNEE-HIGH COTTON SOCKS. - ANOTHER PAIR OF WHITE KNEE-HIGH COTTON SOCKS (I always wear 2 Pairs of Socks...for years...ha. Yup.). 3 things on your mind: - "I Love You Forever And Ever And Ever, Ma..." 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - "Oh, This Timelessly-Beautiful Goth DarkWave Rock Sure ALWAYS Makes Me Feel Like I'm Eternally 17...ha...yup." 🤘😎🤘 💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤 - "Ohhhhh...I Gotta Shower! So fucking Hot & Sticky right now!" 😆😆😆😆😆 3 of your favorite smells: - AFRICAN MUSK OIL.💚 - CK1 COLOGNE.🤍 - CITRUS AIR FRESHENER.🧡 3 words to describe how you feel now: - DAMN SLEEPY. - FRESHLY-SHOWERED. - UNEASY. 3 things you like about yourself: - FIT. - VEGETARIAN. - DANCER. 3 unpopular opinions you have: - THE WORLD HAS A *BAD* OVERPOPULATION PROBLEM, SO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE PARENTS SHOULD HAVE ONLY ONE CHILD FROM HEREON... - ...AND/OR GET SPAYED/NEUTERED.✂️ - AAAAALL THOSE DESPICABLE, GUILTY, VIOLENT, TRAITOROUS, TREASONOUS JANUARY 6th INSURRECTIONISTS NEED TO SUMMARILY BE TRIED & CONVICTED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. 🔨 3 things you enjoy doing: - SMOKING W EED🤩...THEN... - ...DAAAAANCING...HA. 🥰 - FILLING THESE SURVEYS OUT SOMETIMES. 3 of your favorite photos (or memories): - PHOTOS OF MOM. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - FAMILY PHOTOS OF YEARS AGO WHEN I WASN'T SO GODDAMNED CYNICAL, BITTER, & JADED, I GUESS. - I HAVE LOTS OF COSPLAY PHOTOS, HEH. 3 things in your room: - A 6' 6" WOODEN COFFIN. - A 5' WOODEN COFFIN. - A 6' WOODEN COFFIN (I'm A CoffinMaker...for yeeeeeeears. There's also A 6' 4" Coffin too.). 3 things that scare you: - FIRE. 🔥🤯🤯🤯 - DANGEROUSLY-IMMATURE (Anti-Vaccine/Anti-Mask) SELFISH PEOPLE. 😷💉 - DANGEROUSLY-STUPID TRUMP CULTISTS. 😑 3 things that you find attractive in a person: - SHE LOVES WEED. - SHE DISLIKES REPUBLICANS. - SHE CARES ABOUT FITNESS. 3 places you have traveled: - NO. - NOPE. - NUH-UH. 3 of your favorite flowers or plants: - ROSES. - LILIES. - WEED. 3 facts about your current life: - I JUST GOT 2 NEW TATTOOS A FEW DAYS AGO. - I'M VERY FUCKING ATTRACTED TO A YOUNG, SLIM, POLITE, SUPER-RESPECTFUL BLACK GIRL THAT WORKS AT THE STORE DOWN THE ROAD, HEH...I SENSE SHE ALSO FEELS THE SAME WAY...🤩😍🥰 - MY EX-GIRLFRIEND GOT REALLY FUCKING SICK WITH COVID, & SHE UNFORTUNATELY WENT THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF IT, BUT SHE EVENTUALLY RECOVERED, BLESSEDLY...BUT IT ALSO REALLY MESSED HER UP MENTALLY & EMOTIONALLY, & SHE LATER TOLD ME THAT SHE REALLY NEEDED TO BE ALONE. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 💔💔💔💔💔 😞😞😞😞😞 OKAY, THEN...ALRIGHT. I UNDERSTAND...I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR SPACE. I WON'T GIVE YOU A HARD TIME. I DON'T LIKE THIS, BUT I DO UNDERSTAND. I MISS YOU, I LOVE YOU, & I ALWAYS WILL...💜🖤💜🖤💜 🐢❤🐢 3 books you’ve read recently: - OOOOO...I *USED*... - ...TO READ BOOKS... - ...A *LOT!* 😆😆😆😆😆 3 things you are planning to do this summer: - UGH...WELL, I KEEP PUTTING-OFF SOME FLOORING I NEED TO GET DONE. HOPEFULLY SOON. I'M FAST. I'VE DONE LOTS OF FLOORING BEFORE. DIFFERENT KINDS. - MORE PAINTING. THESE 90-100 DEGREE DAYS ARE PERFECT FOR FAST DRYING TIMES. PAINTED FOR YEARS. I'M FAST & CLEAN. - UM, HOPEFULLY SOON GET A NEW PICK-UP FINALLY. NEED IT. IT'S A CRUCIALLY-VITAL TOOL, DAMMIT! 3 games you enjoy - any type: - "MORTAL KOMBAT' (even though I have actually Not Played VideoGames since ARMAGEDDON came out. I'm not a Gamer.) - 'YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!' - 'CATCH PHRASE' 3 facts about your appearance: - I CHANGE APPEARANCES A LOT; I GUESS ONE OF MY SPIRIT ANIMALS IS THE CHAMELEON, HA... - I JUST GOT 2 OLDER TRIBAL TATTOOS ON EITHER SIDE OF MY HEAD REDARKENED A FEW DAYS AGO. *NOW*: TIME TO LET THE HAIR REGROW OUT AGAIN...HAHA...😆😆😆😆😆 -MY NAILS ARE *ALWAYS* BLACKPOLISHED. https://youtu.be/cKxhNfdCc34

Ahh, my favorite season is here... Anything-But-Summer! I love the cooler weather in general, plus it gives me an opportunity to spend more time working in my yard. Now is the perfect time to look over my plants to see what was successful, and what may need relocated or even replaced. Once again, I'm enjoying the small surprises, such as the blueberries that have survived and even appear to be thriving in the bags in which I purchased them this spring. I'm saddened by the plants that looked promising in the spring, yet didn't survive the summer.  Much like those plants, although pleasant for a while, apparently I need to reassess some of the relationships in my life and consider finding others that have the potential to last longer and grow even more beautiful. Who wants to frolic and grow in my garden? *ominous grin*

Good Morning Ladies and Gents- well it's a great morning anyway,  here in the hills of East TN.  Had a great time in Illinois this past week, looked up some old friends, and partied a bit.  I was sorry to hear that my old friend Paul C of Paul C Leathers had passed away early this year.  I have been out of touch with the Chicago LGBTQ community.   Enjoyed being invited to my friend Carlas'  Bed, Breakfast, and Bondage weekend.   Thanks to Carla, Bob, Travis, Julie, Jessica, Hanna, and  Amanda for the love!  Happy LOCKtober! Well, I'm growing closer to 71 now, had one Hell of a great run thus far, but am slowing down a bit. Where are all the lovely women around my age?   Getting too old to build your dungeons anymore so don't ask me to.  I do have contacts that can help if you can afford it. The damn hurricane did much damage to Places such as Greenville, Sevierville TN, but especially the Ashville area of North Carolina. :(    My God Interstate 26 is closed!   As a practicing Christian, Man, I pray for the lost and the survivors.  The older I got the less time we seem to have to get things done. I have been wanting to upgrade my journal for some time.   Thanks for reading!      

i'm a painslut, plain and simple. i am more than that, but i am very much that. i have fantasized, for as long as I can remember, about being bound and gagged, helpless and vulnerable, as a confidently sadistic woman inflicted exquisite agonies upon me. CBT was an essential component of these fantasies from the outset, and in ways i couldn't understand at the time, my suffering pleased Her, which made me want to please Her more. With all my heart, i want to please Her now and forever. i want to serve and please Her in many other ways, but make no mistake: i'm a painslut, and i will adore Her for devouring what i give to Her.

Right now I have a bruise on my thigh.  I am not even sure how it happened… I think I was in a rush doing something and walked into a low table or counter or something.  I vaguely remember cussing in my head as I caught my leg on something one day, but I can’t for the life of me remember what or where.  I was looking at the bruise last night amused.  I don’t mark easily, and I don’t mark often.  It actually takes a lot to leave a mark on me, which is part of what amused me about this bruise on my leg last night.  How do I not remember how it happened?  It also made me think back to when I did look at porn, and some of the pictures I have seen on this site on peoples profiles that are simply unavoidable… The horrendous marks on people… That will never be me.  My mind left my bruise and headed more into this life, and my desperate desire for something I really don’t want at all… The absolute quandary of the actual ache in my back side for correction, and my complete and total hate for pain.  Like, I don’t secretly like pain.  I don’t like it a little.  I don’t like it in a house, I don’t like It with a mouse.  I, ladies and gentlemen, do not like pain.  Yet I fantasize about it… So, I pondered this, trying to reconcile this stupidity in my brain… Why? Why do I want it so bad it feels like a need as real as air some days?  I think the pain is simply a by-product of the rest of what I want(need).  Without it, the rest of it doesn’t work.  What do I mean by this?  Well, as anyone who has chatted with me or anyone who knows me, knows, I have a rather strong and dominate personality by nature.  My submission is totally a choice I make because it is relaxing to me.  My submission is a gift to someone special, and only to that person.  When I used to be active in public forums and known as a sub there many dominate men often believed that meant I should act submissive all the time to all dominate people there… bwahahaha!  I had come with a date I was being submissive to, not the whole crowd!   I annoyed a few people.  That’s okay, they annoyed me too.  When I give this gift of submission to someone, it is because they are giving me a gift too.  They honor me by taking care of me, keeping me safe, looking out for my best interest.  My submission to them tells them I trust them to keep this true.  If they intend to bring me my much-hated pain, then I know their intention is to better me as a person, and for this I am grateful.  So there it is, it is about the mind, not the pain.  It goes beyond this simple statement though.  The entire process, start to finish, is about what goes on in the mind.  From the game of how far can I push things, to the change in tone, body language, and eye contact from my man as he goes from my man to my Dom when I am skating the edge with my behaviors.  The unspoken communication that tells me we have that connection.  That shoots thrill through me.  Then, the mental push within me, to I stop, or push it further?  If I push, the soft to stern spoken warnings, and finally, when the last straw is broken, the declaration of punishment to come… Then the absolute torture and agony of waiting for the punishment, preparing to be punished, all up in my head.  The mental ects of it all.  That is what I crave so badly… The moment any legit pain begins, it all ends for me.  I swear, whatever I did, I am sorry, and it won’t happen again any time soon, because I seriously can’t handle the pain!  This girl is not a pain slut by any stretch of the imagination!  If you have legit fallen in love with me and you aren’t a deep sadist, my reaction to sever pain may hurt you more than it does me.  But not likely. And even after deep contemplation of all of this… I sit here aching for it all… still.  smh

Well its week after the Montreal Fetish weekend and I can't help but to get depressed after being immersed in an environment which Is so conducive to acceptance. Having some impact play with VagaBound in the VIP dungeons was a breath of fresh air and him doing the photo shoots for me on the streets of Montreal And especially a City like Montreal that welcomes you so well being fetish and kink and being able to so freely excepted doing photo shoots around and on the streets of Montreal was inspiring. I cannot wait till next year MFW 2025 to create more content and hopefully I find the owner as the Rubber sub and Rubber Doll i am that can consume me and complete my existence. Its been a long journey. I am trying to concentrate on the next events that are ahead of me like Folsom Kink street fair SF September 29th 2024 and then DOMMETRIPS Cozumel Mexico October 5th to October 12th. As a early 57th birthday present. Then I also have to find a costume ball or event for Halloween for September. To go full latex Cat hood, catsuit too. Need to keep the constant rush happening for the adrenaline rush and excitement showing the rubber doll in me.  I am also have my attention on Claiming my tickets for MFW 2025 when they go on sale January and Fetish factory Florida Anniversary 5 day event 2025.

October 21.2023 Update .... H/hello SIRs n everyone, it has been a long absence from Cs but after deciding to start the New Year off afresh encountered password problems again, and took it as maybe it should re-evaluate its life ? Unfortunately just a wasted 10 months, and having recovered its correct password yet again, finds itself even more brainwashed by M.s Bdsm vids, and craving even Harder use by even more men than ever before - whilst it is Spring rutting season here in the Southern hemisphere, its also Fall cuffing season in Northern hemisphere, so maybe it will get lucky .. ie. owned. NB. please excuse if it has just read or reread Your mssgs but a Lot of new and forgotton old ones to catch up on. it will def try to update its profile and new pix soon, however the basics remain the same, and it does not want its page to disappear for months so soon after being back here. Thank You for Your time perusing slavesluts profile SIRs. Fck it ... uploaded 2nd pic and bumped for review ... again Grrrrrrr  

The Brightest Mark of Ruin   She had warned him. Not with raised voice or trembling lip. The way a storm warns you: a change in pressure, a stillness that precedes something absolute. She had looked at him with those eyes that always saw further into him than was comfortable and said, quietly, with the patience of someone who has never needed to repeat Herself: "Your body is mine. Your word is mine. Everything you signed your name to belongs to me now. Cross me unforgivably and I will not punish you. I won't need to. You will lose everything we have built, and it will be like poison in your veins." He had meant it the way weak men mean everything: completely, warmly, right up until the moment it cost him something. There was a contract. A real document, negotiated with Her characteristic precision, each clause a brick in something She was genuinely building. He had signed it with both hands steady and the particular glow of a man who has just been given more than he deserves. The ink was barely dry before he started deciding which parts applied to him. The protocols She had built as architecture, the daily rituals that kept him tethered and honest, he let them erode with the indifference of someone who has confused being trusted with being unsupervised. Then he put his hands on someone else. Not a stumble. A decision, made repeatedly, to take what belonged to their bond and spend it somewhere cheaper. He came home from it and looked Her in the eye and said nothing, and that silence was its own act of violence. When She found out, She came to him without hysteria, without tears, with complete and devastating composure. She asked him once for the truth. What he did next cannot be softened. He became physical, used his body the way cowards do, and drove Her from the home and safety that had been Hers. She left not because She was weak but because She has never once in Her life tolerated the intolerable. She did not come back. She didn't need to. The community moved the way water moves around a stone. No tribunal, no dramatic exile. People simply became unavailable. Conversations ended when he entered them. The doors didn't slam. They simply stopped opening. And She had not campaigned, had not made calls, because women of genuine authority do not need to destroy you manually. They tell the truth once, to the people who matter, and the truth does the rest. He still tries. He appears at the edges of gatherings with the careful posture of someone who has rehearsed his normalcy, performing the shape of a man who has grown and arrived humbly at the gates of a second chance. Every experienced Domme in the room clocks it within minutes. The hollowness. The grasping. The unmistakable vibration of a man whose submission is a strategy rather than a truth. They decline, one after another, sometimes without a word, sometimes with a look that says they know exactly what they are looking at. This is Her work, and She isn't even trying. The contract still exists. She has it. Every line he failed, every clause he desecrated, every promise subsequently dismantled brick by brick. It is not a document anymore. It is an accounting, and it will follow him into every room he tries to enter, every connection he tries to build, every carefully managed first impression, until he has repaid what he owes in full. Everything must be returned to Her as was originally decreed for the poison to ebb. To the world he dirtied by what he did to Her, to the fidelity he shattered, the safety he violated, the home he poisoned : These things do not expire. They accrue interest. She is woven into the world he still wants access to. Her judgment lives in it. He cannot go anywhere She has not already been, cannot reach anyone She does not already know. She is not a chapter; She is the book, and he is a footnote in a hand everyone can see was shaking. She is not thinking of him. That is precisely the point. He is living inside the shape of Her absence, and it fits him like the life sentence it is.

    The Carnal Cave.  I 'awoke' into this suspenseful dream by standing in a grassy opening facing a hill with what looked like a cave entrance.  I moved closer.  Yes, it was a cave with tight wooly-type bushes on each side of the inlet/entrance.  The bushes mostly covered the cave entrance which appeared to be shaped like a cat's eye pupil, like a slit.  I was drawn to it.  I entered the darkness.  I pushed my way in.  It was tight.  I leaned against a wall for balance and the wall was moist.  The walls were not hard, but somewhat expressive and moveable.  I moved farther into the womb of the cave.  I felt that it was an ancient cave, and somewhat known to man.  Was I the first to enter this cave?  No.  Further in I found a drawing on the wall, like a caveman-pictorial.  There was a boy standing sideways with a six-foot penis, grossly enlarged, sticking out from the boy's crotch and being heavy, it was laying on the ground.  On the large penis sat three young females, naked, one with her hands over her eyes, one with her hands over her mouth, one with her hands over her ears.     Having lately just watched the Valachi Papers, my unconscious thought I must interpret this drawing as the Vagina Papers.  There were the clues-boy, penis, girls, nudity, expressions of secrecy (covered eyes/mouth/ears).  Maybe the girls were expressions of his memories of lust and seduction.  Lust and seduction ride the rail of a boy's penis (ask my ex).  I had seen many portrayals of memories and lust in the stalls of modern man's cave-walls, (bathrooms at university).  Crudity is relatable, interpretive and exciting (ask my ex).  Men continue with feelings and sometimes-dismal visual memories of girls and right or wrong, it's all interpretive.  I like scenes of nudity (ask my ex), ergo, I like interpretive and sexual visuals.  Men continue to splash paint, as it were, in carnal caves and leave erotic memories on the walls-stains or pictorials of feelings of sex and lust.  Who may see and interpret the visits to your Carnal Cave?  Interpretations and feelings lie in dreams, dreams of lust and sex-pleasure.  I dream, therefore I am.    

So it crops it's head up again, and I feel the need to address it head on.  My profile states that I am only interested in someone who is local. Yet I continue to hear from "subs" in new england, tennessee, iowa, you name it. Do they do me the courtesy of asking why I want someone local? No. Do they ask me if someone who is free to move to San Antonio would be considered? Do they ask if it matters that they are independently wealthy or can work anywhere in the country? No and no. Instead they assume that they know what is going on here, and they know what I want, and plow ahead with no consideration for my clearly stated boundary/interest level. I will therefore state (again) clearly: I am looking for someone who is local. I have no time or interest to engage in the kind of drawn out online vetting that I would require to allow someone to move to San Antonio because of me. It doesn't matter if you have money, employment, high employability, connections or a lack thereof where you are or in San Antonio. If you do not live in or near San Antonio or regularly (3 or more times a month) come to San Antonio ALREADY you are NOT LOCAL and I am NOT INTERESTED. If you are curious about what it tells me when you are not local but you contact me anyway with the intention of becoming my submissive, look for my earlier journal writing addressing this very same topic.

How to have limit if you didnt find your own limit(retoric question)   I take myself for an exemple. Im actually a variated person, wich have too much kinks i did, want to do, want to experiment. But my biggest problem is on my speciality, Sadism! I never find the bottom, i can fall soo much, the the hole is too much profund... Then how i can know, how far i would go ? Simple. I adapt myself to the limit of the other. And if she/he didnt discovered it, i just gradually descent. Actually people i knew have short hard limit, its easy to adapt. Some time im a little scared about one day i find someone like me, because, im difficultly shocked about things. Then the only limit i will put is law and security limit, no amputating or things i cant control, if for me i can put my partner to a state of death i will not doing this. I cant control the blood loss, im not doing this. Permanent loss of important part of body, its depend but most part i will not doing this. Im not a chirurgical doctor, i dont have the skill and surely mess up all. Resulting to a critical state of no return. A limit is here to prevent all of this.   If the other dont have limit, your duty is to create one youself to prevent critical situation. 

× Name × LU. × Age × 1,003 YEARS OLD. × Height × 6 FEET EVEN. × Weight × 900 POUNDS. × Relationship Status × SINGLE; NOT LOOKING. I RECENTLY BECAME SINGLE. I DIDN'T *WANT* TO BE SINGLE BUT LIFE HAPPENS AS IT DOES. YOU KNOW? 😑😑😑😑😑 × Emotional Status × NUMB. GODDAMN NUMB MORE & MORE OVER TIME, SEEMSLIKE. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Vital Status × YOU MEAN PHYSICALLY? I'M OKAY. I STRETCH 24-7-365, YEAH. I EAT ONCE A DAY.  × Male or Female × MALE. × Romantic Preference × UM...NON-ALCOHOLIC, VEGETARIAN, FIT, MATURE, PROTOSCIENTIFIC GIRLS WITH NO TEMPER PROBLEM. × Have You Lost Your Virginity? × YEARS AGO. IN MY THEN VEHICLE. I WAS ACTUALLY DAMN LUCKY THAT I WAS DEFLOWERED BY A PSYCHO-CRAZY, PORNSTAR-WILD, DEMONICALLY-HORNY, DAMN SEXY EX-GIRLFRIEND. HA. WE EVEN HAD SEX 15 TIMES ONE DAY. SEX USUALLY LASTED 1 HOUR/20 MINUTES AVERAGE. HA. YEAH. × Drank Alcohol? × NOT ON MAAAAANY YEARS NOW. × Siblings × 1 BROTHER & 1 SISTER. × Do You Want Marriage? × NOOOOOOOPE. NEVER BEEN MARRIED. × Do You Want Children? × NOOOOOOOPE. AIN'T GOT ANY EITHER. THIS WORLD FUCKING SUUUUUUUCKS. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Any Crushes? × OH, YEAH. ALWAYS. HA. 🥰🥰🥰 × Physical Disabilities × NOPE. × Mental Disorders × WELL, I'M CHRONICALLY-OVERCONTROLLED...FOR YEARS... 😳😳😳😳😳 😑😑😑😑😑 😣😣😣😣😣 😖😖😖😖😖 😡😡😡😡😡 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 👹👹👹👹👹 😑😑😑😑😑 × Turn-Ons × SHE'S PROGRESSIVELY-LIBERAL, POLITICALLY. VEGETARIAN.  × Turn-Offs × SHE SUPPORTS & VOTED FOR TRUMP. AND SHE'S REPUBLICAN. 😑😑😑😑😑 MEAT EATER. DRINKER. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference Physically? × I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED MAYBE 4' 11"...5'...THEREABOUTS...BUT TALL GIRLS ARE SEXY TOO. HA. SLIM TO ATHLETIC-&-TONED. × Preference In Age? × I'VE ALWAYS MUCH PREFERRED OLDER WOMEN, BUT YOUNGER ARE OKAY TOO. BUT IF THEY'RE ACTUALLY PAINFULLY-IMMATURE, *FORGET IT.* 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference In Nationality? × NONE. × Biggest Fear × STUPIDITY IS A *LOOOOOT* WORSE GLOBALLY THAN I EVER THOUGHT. IT NEVER STOPS MUTATING INTO WORSE & WORSE SHAMELESS UNCONSCIONABLE MALEVOLENT STRAINS. A BRILLIANT FRIEND OF MINE ONCE SAID SHE WAS SURPRISED AT THE DEEPER & DEEPER NEW LEVELS OF DANGEROUS STUPIDITY THAT ARE ALWAYS BEING DISCOVERED DAILY...BEING MADE DAILY... EVERYWHERE. 😑😑😑😑😑 EMBARRASSING... "In The Age Of Information, Ignorance Is A Choice." -Donny Miller × A Fear You Got Over × UM...I GUESS AT SOME POINT YEARS AGO, I JUST FINALLY STARTED ASSERTIVELY STANDING UP TO BULLIES. SURPRISINGLY, IT DIDN'T TAKE TOO MUCH MORE TO STAND AGAINST THEM. MAYBE 95% OF THEM INSTANTLY SHRANK AWAY FROM ME WHEN THEY ONE DAY NOTICED THAT I SUDDENLY JUST CHANGED. I GOT MORE SERIOUS. DARKER. FED-UP. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Something You Like About People That Others Find Weird Or Gross × DUNNO. UM...I *LOOOOOVE* BEING SUCKED SUPERHARD ON MY NECK, HEH...I DON'T MIND HICKEYS...NEVER HAVE...IT SURPRISED ME TO LEARN THAT MOST PEOPLE I'VE TALKED TO ABOUT THEM ARE FIERCELY ANTI-HICKEY. HA. BEING BITTEN ALL OVER TOO. *HARD*. BIIIIIIIG TURN-ON. HAHA...😆😆😆😆😆🤥 😬😬😬😬😬 😁😁😁😁😁 #BiteMe! 👄😝🤪😜😛😋😆 × Creepiest Habit × DON'T KNOW. NAIL-BITING? 😆😆😆😆😆 × Favorite Feature About Yourself × DON'T KNOW. I LOOOOOVE DANCING.💜🖤💜🖤💜 I'VE SEEN ENOUGH SWEET GIRLS FLATTERINGLY- APPRECIATING WHAT I'VE DONE ON THE FLOOR. HEH...🤩😍🤩😍🤩 YUP. 🤘😎🤘 × Favorite Color(s) × SO MANY...I ESPECIALLY LOVE COLOR COMBINATIONS TOO: GREEN/PURPLE/GOLD, RED/BLACK/GOLD, RED/PINK/BLACK, BLACK/GOLD, SILVER/BLACK, RED/GOLD, RED/SILVER, OLIVE/BLACK, MAGENTA/BLACK...RED/GOLD/GREEN... × Tattoos × A LOT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE. GONNA GET 2 MORE TOMORROW, ACTUALLY. × Piercings × 2 BROWRINGS, 1 MIDDLE LABRET, 1 SEPTUM, & 3 EARRINGS. × Monster Or Coffee × COFFEE, THANK YOU. × Any Weird Fetishes/Kinks? × HA...HYXIA...CRAZY LOCATIONS...& SOME OTHER CLASSIFIED TACTICAL INTEL, AYE. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Bedroom Life × CELIBATE FOR YEARS. BY CHOICE. YEAH. GETTING TIRED OF IT NOW. 😑😑😑😑😑 BUT STILL NOT LOOKING YET. MAYBE NEVER. HAHA. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Is There Anyone You Want To Have Sex With? × HA...UM...JYEAH. SOME CERTAIN LOCAL WOMEN...CERTAIN ONLINE FRIENDS... #BOINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!! B=======D~~~~~~~ (|) × Is There Anyone You Have Something To Say To? × HEH, MAYBE TO SOME LOCAL HOT SEXY GIRLS I ALREADY KNOW AROUND HERE: "YOU WANNA PORNICATE? OCCASIONAL BOOTY CALL? HA..." 🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰🤩

Mixed emotions today. Lastnight was the first real munch we have had since COVID where everyone in our bdsm community was present. Not a real BDSM play event as usualy. Mostly friends catching up, conversation and casual sex.I was laughing with Goddess Tabitha when Master William put his arm around me and started to fondel me. I got tense and Goddess reninded me to know my place. He took me to the couch and he used my body for his pleasure. I don't know what is troubling me most, the fact that another man used me without Master James looking on or the fact that I really enjpoyed him using me. My orgasm was shattering both physically and emotionally. Master James stroke took him from us months ago, but I still feel unfaithful even though he and Goddess Tabitha have always aloowed the men in our group to use me for their pleasure. Just when you think your heart has healed.....

Seduced by the similarities, but buggered by the differences   This was a phrase I coined while leading a business initiative for an Australian company trying to bring their product into the UK. It ended up being one of the most stressful chapters of my career. At first glance, everything looked aligned: The same (or at least similar) language A shared business need Comparable economic environments And so on But as we got deeper into the work, the differences began to surface: Cultural and attitudinal mismatches between the people involved Regulatory goals that didn’t quite line up Different interpretations of seemingly simple terms like “independent” Very different ways of handling conflict And more little surprises The stress built, and eventually the whole thing collapsed—not with a dramatic bang, but with the slow, weary “death by a thousand cuts” that happens when one key player refuses to acknowledge problems that have become impossible to ignore. Why bring this up here? Because there’s a striking parallel in the world of trying to find a compatible partner in BDSM. It’s incredibly easy to see a profile—someone calling themselves a submissive or a slave, someone listing their likes and dislikes—and think, “Ah, promising match!” We assume we know what they mean. We assume they know what they mean. But that’s not always the case. Something that feels wonderful at the start can hit speed bumps quickly as tiny cracks appear and widen. Tension rises, misunderstandings multiply, and… well, you can guess the rest. Finding a truly compatible, sustainable partner can feel a bit like throwing a dart blindfolded from 100 yards away and hoping to hit the bullseye. And yet, we’re all still here trying. So on some level, we must believe the effort is worth it.

A typical day requires service at almost all times. I am served tea in bed as we begin our day, and meals are all prepped and planned. You wake first, fetch me my tea, a few digestive biscuits, and the paper, and then join me in bed to read me an article of my choosing while I sip. Some days when it is warmer, we take this outside, but most days it is in the comfort of bed while we are nude.   After this, we both have breakfast together. Usually you will cook, but some days I will announce that i feel like it and cook. These are healthy meals that focus on protein and good fats.   Then, we both work from home. I enjoy my work at a non-profit, taking breaks to to be with each other (lunch, walks, or you kneeling in prostration/worship as needed, etc). In the evening, we order in, cook, or go out. These all have rituals associated with them that are meticulously refined for both our benefit - what we eat, how we look, and what happens are important metrics of keeping you thoughtless and spotless. You represent me, and I will NOT be embarrassed.   We play board games,read, or watch a program as the evening draws to a close. Then we head to bed, where I do my beauty routine and have you serve me as part of it. This means providing hot water, ice, and towels as needed.   We head to bed, with me getting in bed first and you being caged, kneeling, or joining me if I decide to use you for my pleasure. I do like to be warm and to cuddle, so some nights I require just that and you serve me admirably.

It's irresponsible of me to remain a mystery for too much longer, so here is my first journal entry. I am excited to have a potential play partner, a wonderfully sexy sub-leaning male switch. That means I'm not actively search in for a partner right now. I am open to meeting mentors and making friends.  I have some scattered experience as a service top and bottom, but I feel ready at this point in my life to explore my dominant side more.  I absolutely love seeing the male body tied up. There's something about a man tied down or tied up, completely helpless and at my mercy. I have a dream of assembling a little album of beautiful shibari starring my sweet switch as the muse. I appreciate any recommendations of good shibari resources. Messages from enthusiastic riggers and rope bunnies are more than welcome.  I'm also curious about male orgasm control, I'm looking for some fun games to play involving edging or bondage.  If you're still reading I suppose it's fair to describe myself a little. I'm a natural redhead with a soft body. I have a very specific taste in men, some of you know what, of which I have an insatiable appetite for. I'm sensual- I love to enjoy good food and music and great sex. I'm not a very strict Domme and I'm not a very obedient sub, but I think I make up for it by being a pretty good time! I'm writing this to round out my profile and to record the start of my journey as a Domme. If you feel compelled to message me after reading this, you're welcome to, but please don't be boring, I have to be selective about who I reply to now. -MM

There's this man I know. He says he's not a nice guy. He listens intently to me ramble. When I apologize for it, he tells me not to because I like telling him things, and he enjoys that. There's this man I know. He says he's selfish. I've sent him cute things, naughty things. He never asks for them. He says he'll never pressure me, and appreciates when I do things of my own accord. There's this man I know. He says he's got an unquenchable thirst. I used to lay out opportunities that he'd reject. He says as much as he finds me attractive, there's a reason we've been friends for so long, and he likes having me around. There's this man I know. He says he's dark. I've told him all my insecurities. He's seen my lowest points, seen me spiral out, make terrible decisions. He's never made me feel ashamed. He's never kept them as leverage against me. He makes every bad step I take seem so incredibly small. There's this man I know. He says he's cold. His praises are detailed and specific. He says he's proud of me and that I should be proud, too. There's this man I know. He says he's uncaring. He once kept me company an entire day while I was unwell, just to help distract me from it. He barely knew me. There's this man I know. He says he's a bad man. He's honest. He's kind. He's funny. He's doting. He's patient. He's always on my side.  He's a good man, and I'm grateful to know him.

Women, dogs, and toys.  Women deserve to be treated like dogs and toys. Ok hear me out on this one before you light your torches and get your pitchforks.    So, think about this: is your dog abused? Is the dog of any man you'd choose abused? No...? Ok what about his Xbox? PlayStation? Wii? Any abuse there? No? Ok next point (keep reading).   Does his dog have a comfortable life? Does he go out of his way to get decent food, toys, a comfortable place to sleep?    If his gaming system ever has issues, is he quick to tend to it? Always buying it accessories and new things to play on it?    And are his dog or gaming system expected to buy anything on their own, or does he provide it all for them?   Lastly, how much time does he give to both? How involved is he on a daily basis with them?    If more Doms viewed their slaves as beloved pets and toys instead of a kinky partner, we would have far fewer abused, neglected, and used subs. If Dom's treated them like his dog or Xbox, there would be so many more happy, satisfied, and secure subs.

Absolutely. This topic has teeth, and the core point is strong enough to carry the whole post. Tenacity Is Not Submission: When Persistence Becomes Pressure There is a particular kind of message that some people mistake for devotion. The repeated check-in after being told no. The “just seeing if you changed your mind.” The second profile after the first one was blocked or ignored. The email after the site message went unanswered. The insistence that persistence proves sincerity. It does not. Persistence can be admirable when it is used to improve yourself, honor a commitment, or follow through on something consensual. But when persistence is aimed at wearing down someone else’s boundary, it is not devotion. It is pressure. And in BDSM, pressure is not submission. A submissive who cannot obey a boundary is not showing devotion. He is auditioning his disobedience. That may sound blunt, but it needs to be said plainly. Submission is not measured by how many times someone keeps coming back after being told no. Submission is measured by respect, self-control, honesty, and the ability to listen when the answer is not the one he wanted. “No” Is Not a Negotiation Invitation One of the biggest red flags in early BDSM communication is the person who treats “no” as the beginning of a negotiation. No, I am not interested. No, that dynamic does not work for me. No, I am not available for that kind of play. No, I do not want to continue this conversation. Those are complete answers. They do not require a court case. They do not require repeated follow-up. They do not require the other person to justify their boundary in a way the rejected party personally approves of. A respectful person may feel disappointed. That is normal. Rejection stings. But an emotionally mature person accepts the answer and steps back. An unsafe person keeps pushing. “But I’m Just Being Persistent” Persistence is often romanticized, especially by people who do not want to examine their own behavior. They frame it as loyalty. They call it determination. They insist they are proving how badly they want to serve. But there is a difference between being consistent and being invasive. Consistency says, “I respect your pace.” Pressure says, “I will keep appearing until you give me what I want.” Consistency says, “Your boundary matters.” Pressure says, “Your boundary is an obstacle.” Consistency says, “I can accept your no.” Pressure says, “I only respect your answer if it benefits me.” That distinction matters. A submissive who wants access to a Dominant’s time, attention, authority, or body needs to show that he can be trusted with limits. If he cannot respect a simple “not interested,” why would anyone trust him inside a more intimate or vulnerable dynamic? Disobedience Does Not Become Cute Because It Is Wrapped in Flattery Some people try to soften boundary-pushing with compliments. “I’m still interested.” “You’re exactly what I’m looking for.” “I just can’t stop thinking about serving you.” “I know you said no, but I had to try again.” No, he did not “have to.” He chose to. And that choice reveals something important. Flattery does not erase disrespect. Desire does not override consent. Interest does not create entitlement. A person can use all the submissive language in the world and still behave in a way that is controlling, invasive, or manipulative. Calling someone “Mistress” while ignoring her boundary is not submission. It is cosplay with bad manners. Real submission requires discipline. That includes the discipline to accept disappointment without turning it into someone else’s problem. Early Behavior Predicts Later Behavior The beginning of communication is not separate from the dynamic. It is part of the screening process. How someone handles a boundary early on tells you a lot about how they may handle limits later. If he argues with your preferences now, he may argue with your rules later. If he ignores your disinterest now, he may ignore your safeword later. If he creates new ways to reach you after being blocked, he may escalate when denied access. If he treats your “no” as temporary, he is telling you that consent is only meaningful to him when it can be changed in his favor. That is not a small thing. In BDSM, trust is not built by intensity alone. Trust is built by repeated evidence that someone can hear a boundary, understand it, and honor it even when they are disappointed. Submissive Does Not Mean Helpless There is also a pattern where some self-identified submissives act as if their desire excuses their lack of self-regulation. They present themselves as overwhelmed by need. They act wounded when they are not chosen. They imply that a Dominant is cruel for not giving them attention. They confuse emotional dependency with devotion. That is not service. A Dominant is not responsible for managing the emotions of every stranger who wants access to her. A submissive still has adult responsibilities. He is responsible for his conduct, his reactions, his expectations, and his ability to leave people alone when asked. Submission is not an exemption from emotional maturity. In fact, submission requires more emotional maturity, not less. When Persistence Becomes Pressure Persistence becomes pressure when the other person has already declined. It becomes pressure when contact continues after interest has been clearly refused. It becomes pressure when someone changes accounts, platforms, or methods to get around being ignored or blocked. It becomes pressure when the person being contacted feels they must manage, explain, soften, or repeat a boundary that was already clear. It becomes pressure when the goal is not connection, but access. That is the moment the behavior stops being flattering. It starts feeling desperate. Performative. Entitled. Unsafe. And no one owes continued politeness to someone who repeatedly ignores a boundary. The Better Response A submissive who receives a no has one correct r

Most any store you go into now asks you to take a survey when you leave so they know how they can improve. A lot of websites, social media groups, blogs etc, will belittle someone leaving who dares to give feedback about just why. "It's not an airport, you don't have to announce your departure".Those kinds of snarky remarks and the childish attitudes of the users,  are often the main reason someone will decide to cease participating in any particular group. Apparently, those managing these sites don't really care why people stop coming back.I myself don't announce my leaving or the reasons for it, I just go. Sometimes I'll check back in a year or two to see if that bunch of people still exists online and often it is gratifying to see that my judgment was correct and the group is dead or almost so.Now, I'm not planning on leaving CS, but I would like to give some feedback if the owners ever read these journal entries. This site is nearly stagnant and I think the long wait to approve a new profile or change an existing one has a lot to do with it. It's a huge turn-off and block to new members, many of whom will leave if they're not able to participate quickly and will probably forget they even created a profile here after a couple of weeks.So, it's the same people here every time. Nothing against any of them, but if they weren't interested in me the last 25 times I was online, I don't think they are gonna leap to to get to know me anytime soon. We need new blood here to keep things moving or CS risks becoming another uninteresting, moribund website.Okay, it took a long time for me to get there but it's been said. Back to surfing.    

Requirements as a submissive; honesty, trust, and genuine effort, not perfection.   I think a lot of people have the wrong idea or wrong impression of what it takes to be in a dynamic. They have this fairy tale mentality about BDSM dynamics and what they should be like. I imagine this is because in some ways they have been so romanticized and popularized that its a great fantasy for things to work out that way. Unfortunately though, that isn't reality. At least not for the majority of us. We don't need perfect. We aren't looking for perfect, and we don't want you to be perfect. What we want is honesty, trust, and genuine effort.   Now those three things can mean a lot more than what they look like on the surface. So lets break it down a little. Starting with honesty. What does honesty mean? Well it means a lot. It means being honest, being truthful, being real, meaning what you say, and saying what you mean. It means so much more than that but I think that you get the idea. Take it from someone who found out the hard way how difficult life can be when you don't live it honestly compared to how much easier it is when you just live within the truth. When there are no secrets or games and you are just you, all of the good parts and the bad. You take responsibility for yourself and your faults and when you screw up you admit it. You are honest about who you are and what you want. One of the biggest parts in honesty in my opinion though, being a person of your word. If you say you are going to do something, or that you wont do something, you hold yourself to it. Your word is your bond. If you cant do that then you really aren't worth much.   Next we move on to trust. So what is trust? Well to put it simply trust is a combination of honesty and actions. At least thats a very simply put version of what it is really. Without trust you can't build any kind of real foundation for anything. That applies to any kind of relationship and not just anything in the realm of BDSM. That applies to friendships and work relationships just as much as personal and romantic relationships. Without trust you can't ever really let yourself go in any situation. You are always on guard. Without trust nothing will work in the long term, it will all be just a superficial flash in the pan.   Last we come to genuine effort. You can have honesty and trust, but it wont mean much of anything unless a person is willing to put forth genuine effort. You can have all of the perfect components and get absolutely nowhere if only one person is putting forth any effort or if one person is only putting forth minimal effort. We all understand that everyone has a life, we are all busy, we all have things going on, we get that. All I'm saying is don't claim to want something if you aren't willing to put forth the effort in actually pursuing or developing it. Maybe you don't put in the effort because you are scared, or any number of 100 different reasons, who knows. What I do know is how absolutely disheartening it can be when someone tells you over and over again that they want something with you and then they just never show up. If you want it, then you have to put forth the effort. Actual genuine effort. And yes that may mean taking time out of your day doing other things that you normally do like watching tiktoks or whatever other superficial thing it is that you spend most of your time doing. When you tell someone repeatedly that you want something with them, but also that you never have time for them its difficult but most people will still make an effort. When they later find out that you actually spend hours a day on social media not actually doing anything and you are still claiming that you don't have enough time for them thats a giant slap in the face. Learn how to prioritize what is important if these are things that you actually want and stop playing with the people that do actually want them if you don't.   Honesty, trust, and genuine effort. In my opinion, I don't feel like those things are too much to ask, at least not to start with. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows. I've been known to be a little old fashioned in my values in that sort of way. Maybe I'm no longer with the times. If thats the case then so be it I guess. I have a feeling that I'm not the only one that thinks the way I do though. Here is to hoping that I'm not. 

After talking with someone on here recently I've done a lot of thinking about my desire to submit and be bound. I had never really thought about how long I've felt that way or why. Looking back on my teen years I think I've always had a fascination with restraint. My first sexual dream revolved around me getting "caught" and bound up. Looking back I have a few memories where even when I was younger there was something about being restrained that appealed to me. Now, as an adult, I think my feelings now are rooted in my desire to be helpless. I'm fortunate enough to have had a safe life, and I've never been in a bad scenario where I was in significant danger, and I suspect that may have something to do with it. Regardless, I think my root desire is to be helpless, forced to trust another person and do what they say. Something about giving into that power and giving up total control is what I really want. i don't know fully, just been thinking about it recently and these are my first thoughts. Thanks everyone for teaching me more and helping me explore these feelings!

Master's WritingsSadomasochistic Play and the Importance of ConnectionIt is too easy when participating in Sadomasochistic play of any kind, be it impact, pain play or any other of the associated fetishes, for the experience to become emotionally and even physically disconnected between partners - the Sadist becoming consumed by their connection to their tool (whip, cane, etc), the precision of their strikes, the technique used, and the masochist becoming lost in the enormity of the sensation, the loss of physical control as the pain increases and the anticipation of the next strike. As both become lost in their own world within the scene, it is easy to experience a loss of connection between them as the scene progresses.I find that maintaining or even working to build greater connection during such play is one of the most important things I can do as a Sadist and a Dominant. For me as a Sadist, who is also a Dominant and a Daddy, I find that there exists a uniquely rich opportunity to be a caring and connected Sadist, through physical contact, the use of voice and deliberate and careful observation that goes beyond the safety aspaspects during a scene are very important in changing a sadomasochistic scene from something done to the masochist to a shared experience that binds rather than separates.In all my play, regardless of the fetish, I seek to create experiences that enrich, nourish and build relationship. While not every scene or situation can accomplish these every time, they remain a goal I strive for whenever possible. 

Philosophically at the beginning stage (when both people are technically 'free' to make choices), the Master approaches an agreeable sub about their mutual interest in providing that necessary slave for Him. This early period is like consulting a surrogate, whose only purpose is to carry the 'new entity' to full-term, dutifully hand it over to Him, and disappear out of sight, ceding to Him the full Reign, Supreme Authority and Ownership over the new slave. Every now and then however, He may still need to consult the remote surrogate for operating manual details that He doesn't yet fuly understand, but His goal is to eliminate that surrogate entirely, and assume exclusive control over His property. During this delicate surrogate stage, Master gets to practice His skills over the sub, giving it a taste of His Domination, making it realize that He is merely tolerating it, only until it delivers His slave, and then it will be discarded. That will happen when the surrogate finally signs the M/s contract on the slave's behalf, willingly transferring authority to Him, so that the Master rightfully assumes full ownership and responsibility over His property in perpetuity. From that moment on, Master sees only a slave before Him.

I wrote this as part of an introductory message to someone and think it was good enough to share here. "This is an alternative lifestyle to me There are several reasons, one is something that kind of bothered me at a young age I shoved thebad thoughts I had, I had even as a very young youth, thoughts that both horrified and fascinated meI used to justify my thoughts as not being cruel if what I did, I did to those who deserved it, like criminals etc What worried me was the sexuality I feltIt was much later in life, around 40 years ago I started putting it all together from a primal blueprint and social and religious pressure through to conditioning I was relieved to find a world I fitted, and its this world and learning to interact between the lifestyle and the vanilla world that I have been studying, learning, teaching and livingIts a strange world with so many dark and mysterious places."

      The Democratic Dom: While it might sound like an oxymoron this Dominant is one who controls by agreement. Limitations, conditions, safe words, and times & places are all agreed upon beforehand and strictly adhered to.  Discussions between the Dom and sub are the norm and written contracts are not unheard of.     Punishment is both a training tool and very often a reward. It is dispensed by the Dom to achieve or reinforce a certain behavior in his sub and at the same time as a pleasurable (sexual) stimulation for the sub. While both punishment and reward may be two distinct areas in the relationship, many times the lines .     Submissives who are attracted to these situations are those who want the same agreed condition and especially the limitations. They can be called feisty, bad little girls, spoiled, hard to tame, because they like to challenge the limits and/or rules. Or because they have certain fears.     This can be a game area where fun supersedes the Dominant/submissive operative. The Dominant and submissive like the actual and varied activities and enjoy each other when participating in them. In many cases the submissive does not actually want to surrender but likes playing as if she does.     These relationships seem to be less long term, as this is the area where “thrill seekers” usually reside. Many like this type of situation since it is a convenient and safe way to play with D/s. It is fun and it makes it easy to feel like they are indeed practicing D/s. These same people while enjoying D/s related scenes are not as into the emotional side of dominance and submission as are others.     On the other hand this type also serves a very good purpose, acting as a safe passage into other variations of D/s, or for learning, especially among those who are doing this for the first time with someone new, or they are trying it for the first time ever. After some experience is gained in D/s activities these people begin to learn the “rules of the road”, so to speak. Sometimes leading to a more intimate and stronger D/s relationship.      

I've been asked many times over the years, what is the difference between a submissive and a slave? One could say, by common definition, that is submissive, gives up control, but only within the constraints of the bedroom. The submissive can set limits, boundaries and more. So, it's not truly giving up control, but they giving up of limited control within certain areas, usually limited to strictly sexual. The slave, on the other hand, gives up all control at all times, both within and outside the bedroom. Her limits may be observed by her or his master or mistress. But, they don't have to be. Furthermore, giving up of control usually applies to all areas of life, not just strictly sexual. Still, that can be seen as a rather limited definition. if one truly wants to defined the difference between the two, it boils down to this. A submissive will give up control within the parameters of still satisfying her needs, wants and desires. A slave is able to sublimate her own needs, in order to put the needs of someone else before her own at all times. That's the big difference. A submissive may give up control, even total control, but only within the duration of a scene, or a particular situation. A slave not only gives up control, but puts the needs of her master before her own at all times. A submissive can always say, "Not tonight. I'm not feeling up to it." A slave has no such options. Her place and purpose is to put the needs and wants of her Master ahead of her own, and if Master decides that he wants to use his slave, it's her place as a slave to meet and even exceed his expectations. The problem is, with so many, having been raised with this being either fantasy or online role-play, combined with the Tinder culture expectation of "If this doesn't amuse me, I can just ghost him." It's becoming increasingly difficult to find those that truly have a slave mentality. So, those of you who are putting yourself out there as slaves, make sure that you understand the difference between submissives and slaves. Not only for your own benefit, but for the benefit of others as well. That way, no one's time is wasted, not expectations dashed and you'll be more successful at finding what it is you're truly looking for.

Alot has changed since I first created our profile. What I have noticed over the past year or so since I last checked in is that is still many of the same faces.  People I suspect want the idea, but are too afraid to go for it when it is in front of them. So, what we are looking for also has changed.  I was looking to add to a poly family.  Well that part is done as there are now three of us under one roof. What we since decided is to find someone (female) who desires a complete loss of herself not for sensual BDSM, but for complete enslavement. The person who seek would be looking to disappear from society, and be locked away, perhaps never being allowed to leave our dungeon and your new home. In this role, you will spend many hours in bondage or caged, except when one of us decides we wish to enjoy your flesh for our pleasure.  That pleasure being anything from using you for our sexual gratification, to being tortured just so we can hear you cry or beg for it to be over, to simply clean the floor on hands and knees. Is this what you desire?  Seriously, because many people think it is, but few can really accept that they are offering themselves to a sadist who finds love only in hearing cries and whimpers.  Who favors the sound of leather agaist flesh over sweet 'I love yous'.  Many profiiles will read like this I suspect, yet less actually have experience in doing just that.  So, if you really want to atone for what ever sin you have done (and I could care less what that sin is), then lets talk.  If you want to be used while reminded what a worthless piece of crap you are, then your the woman we seek.

what a typical day would be like as My slave.   I work from home during the week in a typical 8 am to 5 pm online system. you would wake slightly before Me and rise from your sleeping that should be a pallet or cot next to My bed. you will then prepare My coffee and have it ready for when I wake. you will Serve it to Me on one knee. there is more to the Ritual than that but I am keeping to basics for now.   Once I have taken the coffee, you kiss each of My feet and then My cock, affirming to Me that you are My slave. When I get up, you will ask if I need to piss and how I wish to do so. That can be in your mouth to swallow or on you to wear for a brief time or longer as I wish.   I will start My work and you will fix My breakfast and your own. Again you will Serve Me and wait for Me to give you permission to eat yours.   Then will come inspection of slave to see if there is anything that needs to be addressed such as shaving and such. slave will then shower and clean himself accordingly and report back for Tasks of the Day.   Most days will have Tasks already assigned, such as Monday, the bedding is changed and washed. Every day has the Task of properly dressing the bed and dusting various shelves and stuff.   All Tasks should be finished by lunch time. slave reports back to Me to have Tasks evaluated. Failures to meet standards will warrant punishments later that day.   Lunch time has the slave preparing and serving lunch. Usually something simple and easy. Follows the same Ritual as breakfast.   After lunch, slave will have an hour to do his own personal hobbies and such. After that, the slave will do his workout program to increase his fitness.    After that, slave preps dinner. Not all dinners will be cooked by the slave as I do like to do some cooking. Dinner Ritual is the same as other meals. slave will likely sit on the floor near Me while eating.    The evening is when I relax with My hobbies and fun. slave will be near and quiet possibly with a few minor Tasks.   At the end of the day, any punishments that the slave has earned are reviewed and applied.   Bed time.    A note is that the slave is always available to Me should I want to piss on or in him, as well as to suck My cock, kiss My feet, lick My pits and ass, and of course being ass up for when I want to fuck.

Attitude matters! I will be clear here. If I choose you and you are not fit, healthy and eat healthy per My desires.  I will put you on a strict diet and exercise program.  I don't care what you weighed in high school or your younger years.  That is not what you look like today.  Who you are today,  what you look like today is all I will see, and matters to Me! Strip naked,  take a long look in the mirror from every angle,  take photos of yourself.  Are you proud of your appearance? Or do you need to put in the work? I am on a journey to better fitness and appearance.  If you are not, or have no ambition to, we will not match up. you don't have to be perfect right now, although that is desirable.   What you do need is to be putting in the work and working on the goal of better health,  healthy eating/diet, and becoming physically fit.  Eliminating substances from your consumption that is not healthy.  Watch 'Biggest Looser', maybe it will inspire you. Its free to watch on freevee app  

sacred symphony: where love, lust, and devotion meet i’ve found myself at the crossroads of neurodivergence, spirituality, and kink—a meeting place where dominance isn’t just about power but about the profound and unending interplay of trust, ownership, and devotion. writing about these experiences feels like capturing the essence of an eternal union, where love, lust, and passion merge with spiritual and physical commitment to create a connection that transcends the fleeting and becomes permanent. this isn’t about navigating the surface of dating; it’s about diving into the sacred depths of what it means to fully belong to one another—body, mind, and soul. it’s about exploring devotion as an act of ultimate union, a fusion of spiritual and carnal energies that defy time and space. through my words, i seek to articulate the beauty and power of a connection that isn’t just a relationship but a lifelong symphony of surrender, love, and sacred commitment.  

November 4, 2024 @ 4:35pm  Hello Everyone,  I understand this profile is a little confusing to some, let me clear things up for you all.I will always be an Domme first, then second I am an Alpha submissive only to Sir Silverback G which is my life partner. I hope this Clears up any confusion. Have a wonderful Morning, Evening, Night.  SG 

Nothing has really been right.  Though realistic to know that can't provide.  Hence would only really fit into relationships that are LTR resulting in ownership or some kind.  Its like men who get married that stay home as the so called house husbands.  Not really a person who likes to travel.  Female Led Relationships are even in the Manga that will cover or gravitate towards.  Around 2K thought things might work out with Miss Kriss. Though she lapsed into cocaine problem again causint schisms or issues. Really it was wanting to pierce or hang from hooks or things that don't really work with somebody having Anemia. Finding somebody whose interests are realistic is probably best.  Really the type of person who will gravitate towards whta the other person is into. Feet was something that noticed at an early age where would not be into Heels or Boots or Stockings in the least. Though as got older Shoes or Boots especially certain types could be interesting if somebody is into that.  So can't really enjoy anything unless the other person is.  Its like feed on that energy.  Not into anything related to food or feeces hehe.  Puking or Piercing among other things I probably listed in the profile. Really don't think things will work out for me or most in life.  Those who have wealth really are who should be owning people instead of finding somebody to provide.  As its a clear difference in class or standing.  Glad they least brought back journlas. Wish LittleReaper would give me another chance to speak to again.  Things were pretty complicated was having issues with medication reaction and phone ;).

And just like that, the talks have ended and I've sent that prospective slave on her way. There were two very big (imo) factors as to why she would not have worked out. The first being a big communication problem. When I speak, I speak directly and clearly as to what I want, think, feel or am asking. If I'm asking a question, I expect an answer to the question asked. Not what you think you feel the question is or pretains to. That tells me you aren't listening to my words, just your feelings. And that will lead a slave to failure every time. The next problem is ideals vs reality. I see this as rampant throughout these bdsm sites. A slave will search for their ideals and not except that the reality is rarely, if ever, matches what their idea of being a slave is. The fact is, thought the slave wants to be kept in a cage and only brought out to be played with, bills need to be paid, the house needs to be cleaned, meals need to be cooked. These are, to me and other Masters, part and parcel to being a slave. The fantasy slavery is good for maybe a weekend or so. But not something feasible for the long run. So for now, it seems I am still looking for a slave. As I continue on this journey, I think I'll continue to use this form of media as a sounding board. 

 I suppose I need to update this along with my profile. As I said in my new profile, I am currently living in Virginia and owned as part of a household so I’m no longer looking. I only come here occasionally to chat with a few people I’ve come to know. A lot changed for me at the end of last year when I moved here. This is only the second ownership situation I’ve ever been in. I have a scattered history with the couple who now own me so they aren’t a complete unknown but much of what is expected of me is very new. I am their new alpha and expected to manage the general household as well as some aspects of others that are brought in, either short term or long term. Their prior long-term slave left the household last month and they have taken on a new one, at least on a trial basis. I’m not sure if she’ll last but the mistress has faith in her becoming a permanent part of the household so time will tell I guess. For those who were curious about my tech gig work, I took a couple months off and I’m starting some new work next month. It’ll be tricky balancing that with my household duties so I’m not putting much on my plate at first. On the plus side, since I don’t have any expenses here, all of what I take in can go toward investing my future. I guess that’ll be yet another new situation for me.. lol        

I had a conversation yesterday that reminded me why I don’t rush access. Every so often, someone comes along who understands the difference between fantasy… and function. He didn’t come in with noise, exaggeration, or empty declarations. He understood something much more important, how to exist in both worlds without conflict. That’s rare. Because the truth is, this isn’t about cosplay. It’s not about acting out power or performing submission in isolated moments. It’s about integration. Taking what exists in this space, structure, direction, awareness, and applying it to real life in a way that actually works. Where it builds something. Where it creates value. Where it makes both people stronger, not dependent. That’s what most miss. A real dynamic doesn’t remove you from reality, it refines how you move within it. And a true leader doesn’t just command… she guides. She shapes. She diraspects with intention so that what stands beside her is not just devoted, but useful, capable, and aligned. That’s where something meaningful begins. Not in fantasy. But in what you can sustain. I think i'll keep him — Mistress Nikki Vixen aka Goddess

one word: DEVISTATED! my recent Echocardiogram came back worse than expected I went down the slope as opposed to climbing... I'm wrecked and not happy about it, understandably... It's almost back to where it was when the condition was caught and I was hospitalized... so NOT GOOD !!! it feels like all the work I have done has been for nothing and I feel defeated... having a terminal condition sucks... Some good news though, looks like my record shop will be a reality sooner than later, I got all my LLC etc filed and done so, look at me trying this adulting thing! lol This I am excited about!

*** NOT LOOKING ***My main profile text is a little over a year old. Like most people here, I avoid updating the main profile because you have to have it approved all over again if you do. It's a profile, not an advertisement. I am happy with my existing arrangement for discipline. I'm not attracted to men at all, so your emails go straight to my Bulk Mail folder, which I only browse occasionally. Yes, even yours. If that seems harsh, it's because otherwise my main inbox gets flooded with unwanted approaches from blokes who don't read profiles and don't respect boundaries. I have occasionally accepted men for the disciplinarian role (as long as it is purely platonic) but I emphasise once more that I'm happy with my existing arrangements for this. You probably won’t get a reply unless you meet BOTH of these conditions (and even then it's not guaranteed): 1) use the magic word to show you have actually read this journal 2) catch my interest in some way that I like  Like I said in my main profile, I am not into the Dom/sub side of things. So if you approach me expecting to meet a slave or submissive, you're going to be very disappointed. It's just not my thing.  P.S. Guys, the new magic word is "tiger". This little test shows you have at least read this journal, so it should filter out a few of the idiots.    

ExxonMobil Corp has set into motion a suggestion I made to them in an email to the corporate offices. I rather laid into them for not embracing the use of hydrogen as a fuel to replace oil. Here's the response, In Baytown, Texas, they are building a chemical reactor which uses 2 componets, water and methane. There is pressure and heat applied but I can surely trust its less than the yield. The reaction produces all 8 hydrogen atoms involved. Leaving CO² which can be made solid by liquefied air. That would br dry ice as it commonly called. What this means is unlike as are told by politicians there is no power source for cars and trucks. There now is many. Composting manure will be one of those sourced, human waste both sewer and garbage. All agro byproducts even wood chips, as well as coal and other natural sources for Methane. There's a secondary win here because Methane that currently goes into the atmosphere is a serious greenhouse gas.   Hydrogen is also able to combine with Oxygen to make water and electrons. One electron per atom. This is more efficient than a battery using far less chemicals with a longer life, faster charging, and less weight allowing electric aircraft. Let not vote our way into a Putin wet dream and kill this opportunity to have an utopia.

I have found a fuck buddy. Met face to face, seems nice enough and actually single. Was direct on the phone that I want to use him for sex. I have started recleaning and reorgnisnig the flat so definately preparing for company. stocked up the wine rack, beers in the fridge, heaps of meat and fish in the freezer. Bought silk PJ and silk underwear - not into the whole leather crap. Buying rope and going to practice hog-tying him for my own pleasure. Etsy have some really cute strap-ons, girly ones with pretty patterns. Candle play wax. Should write a list of things I want to practice and experiement. TBC (to be continued).   C

As for about me and who I am. Well most of it is in the profile.   But I am a skilled maker with slightly above skills in welding, metal working, woodworking, plastics, molding, 3d printing, cnc laser cutting, chainmail weaving, scene prop special effects, and a few other random skills.   I also have a high level of skill in photography, video production (both shooting and editing), audio production, photo retouching and manipulation as well as graphic design and media production. (BS in media production) I also dabble in fashion design with a strong interest in fetish ware. Currently teaching myself leather garment sewing, as well as latex/rubber creation. Been playing with bootware and am designing custom heels for high heel boots.   I'm looking for that one female artist who can transform me into a woman. As in post op grs, breast implants, plastic surgery, FFS etc.   In return, my skills and talents would be at her service,  including making a full dungeon with all the toys one could dream of. As I look more fem I would have no problem being a cam girl for her and after I am fully transitioned I would gladly be a beta dom, under her.

  For all you fellows out there griping about not getting replies, "even if it's just to say no thanks", understand that we (women) often get tons of messages on these sites, many or most from guys who are sending out copypasta to every woman on the site, without bothering to read a profile first.  Yes, it only takes a minute or so to reply to ONE message, but multiply that by dozens of messages per day, per site. And then there is the fact that the majority of our, "No thank you", messages result in then being insulted, harassed, going from being beautiful and desireable to being a fat, old, ugly bitch, whore, cunt, and worse, and often threatened with being beaten, raped, killed, doxxed, etc... All for the crime of a polite rejection to some random dude in our inbox. So, instead of assuming that you are ENTITLED to a woman's time and attention simply because you messaged her, how about you read profiles before messaging, only send a message if it does not violate any boundaries listed in said profile, and is not asking for or offering things she does not specifically say she is looking for in said profile, and makes an effort to treat her as a human being, rather than a sex or fetish dispenser. And then, if you don't get a reply, take that as she is either busy and will get back to you when she has time, or she is not interested, without getting all pissy because she did not reply to your unsolicited message. Also, unless you reply to EVERY unsolicited email, phone call, junk mail, etc. that you receive, with at least a polite, "no thank you", then you are a hypocrite for expecting such of others who did not ask you to contact them.  

strength is gone I am so done being strong im breaking and shattering like a broken mirror i cant stand this feeling im breaking down and i am so annoyed with myself but taking it out on everyone around me as i lay here tonight theres not much more i can take the tears are shedding and my self confidence is non existing just what i fucking need im still breathing so i guess thats an upside but fuck it all im so done pretending that im okay and if you cant accept me the way i am than whats the point of being my friend im just so over it

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

I don’t know how to exist inside my own skin right now. My body hurts constantly—every joint, every nerve buzzing or burning in some private hell—and yet my emotions are stuck in this flat, gray fog. It feels like I’m floating a few feet outside of myself, detached, watching someone else limp through my days. I’m supposed to care about things, supposed to feel urgency, supposed to feel desire, but mostly I just feel… blank. A haze. The hardest part is intimacy. Sex has always been a cornerstone of my identity, something that made me feel alive, connected, real. Now I lie beside people I love, people I want to want, and it’s like my body is a locked door. My brain remembers what it’s like to crave, but the signal doesn’t make it through. Instead I get this sense of obligation—this is who you are, this is what they expect, this is what you should be doing—while my body and spirit just won’t answer. I go through motions, or avoid them, and either way I feel like a fraud. It’s disorienting: physical pain screaming from one side, emotional numbness pressing from the other. I’m caught in between, unable to move fully toward either. I don’t know how to bridge that gap, how to show up in love when I’m not even present in myself. Some nights I wonder if this is permanent. If I’ll always be half-alive like this, longing for connection in theory but unable to touch it in practice. I miss desire like an old friend I can’t remember the face of. For now, all I can do is write it here, admit it to myself. Maybe that’s a start.

Some of us are born to serve.  I sought out alpha males online as a horny porn obsessed boy. One of those Daddy's began to use me and fill me after weeks of convincing and guidance as I ackwowledged i wanted to get fucked not fuck and that I like the idea of having my pussy filled. Daddy Mark suggested household suppiies to penetrate my hole.  I began to jerk off with my clit over my mouth. I came into my mouth. I ate my cum. Daddy Mark wanted to meet. After limited resistance Daddy Mark drove to my neighborhood late at night where I snuck out and met him in a quiet area a few blocks from my home. He directed me to wear only a tshirt and shorts and to approach his van. When he opened the door he told me to get in and remove my clothes and hand them to him. I did as told.  He filled both my holes. He fed me poppers as he showed me porn of twinks being bred.  I left knowing that I'd never do that again.  Two weeks later I did that again. This time in my youth baseball uniform. He filled me with my jock strap on.  "You're made to be a bottom bitch," Daddy Mark said. "You're the most eager bottom I've ever had." Meeting 3 saw me sink deeper. I told my parents I'd be spending a weekend at a friends house but instead rode with Daddy Mark to his house, where a sex swing, basement playroom and two Daddys waited to make me their bitch.  I've slowly accepted I want to be a slave. Owned, taken, shaped, used. I'm a sissy. Open to relcation, few limits, TPE and life free to be a slave.  

Seeking a final addition to my home, my pack, my fife. I want someone who identifies as submissive or slave. Someone who would enjoy being part of my kink friendly Famale Domme led pack of hubby and boy, enjoying life with us in our beautiful Florida home. I have a room waiting for you, set up to work from home as I do, and 4 friendly dogs who make life better. I still have my kink room and equipment and crave obedience and someone to use for my sadistic whims. There are not many skills in the kink world I am not skilled in, but there are a few I do not prefer to practice. If you are bi sexual that is great, boy is interested, if you are not that is fine too as I am more than enough Lady for everyone.  I now have a brief chat and meet because waiting has not been productive, a lot of chating then ghosting when it is time to meet. I am real, I live the lifestyle 24/7 but of course I have my vanilla/professional side. I have lots of photos and am not afraid to give you my phone number soon. I do not chat on any of the platforms most seem to ask about.  Reach out, your life can change this year. 

For those of you that may want to , but can't really move, I'll say what you probably have heard many times. FIND SOMONE LOCAL.  On the other hand I could use someone remote to help develop a website with lifestyle merch for sale that I have designed myself.  Mainly clothing .  I know I can do 2 things one is get someone else to build it from a place like fivver .  No problem but the  subject  is kind of sensitive so I'm not sure about getting someone else to do it that is outside the lifestyle.  The other thing is to do it myself as I have done sites myself before.  But it's time consuming and I spend most My time designing and marketing.  However I  would rather find someone in the lifestyle to do it even if it means I pay someone .   The other thing I  am looking for is for someone to seriously get me started in crypto.  Not just a statement like " go to this site and sign up" .  I know there is a lot more  to it .  There are courses and some follow crypto gurus to immulate what they do .   I know this is maybe something I'm just putting out there on a limb but if I don't put it out there then it won't be known I'm also looking for that as well as getting someone here fulltime. 

What is wrong with people? So once again I find myself here, trying to fathom out what has happened. A certain someone from here has decided that after a protracted conversation my being polite and making sensible concessions is my being not what they seek. Honestly. This is who I am, manners cost nothing yet form the basis of my being.  I use them in everyday life and conversation and they have served me well.  Yet here once again I am faced with them being seen as negative. Where are the people on here who want to be treated like real human beings, with respect, honour, and morality? If my being me and using manners is going to offend then step away. If my asking questions is not for you then don't approach. If I want to build trust and you don't then look elsewhere. Rant over!

Many people love the fantasy of Dominance. The commanding presence and the control. The title of Master just drips with power and for many, the image it conjures is one of unquestioned authority, luxury and being served hand and foot. Maybe for some it is, I know I definitely have that life most days. But here’s the truth most don’t talk about, being a Master isn’t just about being the king of the house, it’s about being the rock. The standard. The one who leads with clarity, compassion and an unshakable sense of duty. It is the responsibility of a Master to do the best for those in your charge. This is your cautionary tale, because once you accept the role of Master, you don’t just gain power, you take on the weight of someone else’s trust. Their safety. Their submission. And if you can’t honor that, you have no business calling yourself Master at all.

100% Master 100% Sadist  100% Daddy 100% Degrader  94% Rigger  93% Dominant  92% Experimentalist  84% Primal (Hunter)  79% Brat tamer  71% Owner  56% Switch  38% Non-monogamist  36% Voyeur  33% Submissive  5% Exhibitionist  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat  0% Degradee  0% Boy/Girl  0% Masochist  0% Pet  0% Primal (Prey)  0% Rope bunny  0% Slave  0% Vanilla   

Standards vs Micromanaging I've pondered the question of control for years. Early on I had the notion in my head that the more controlling you were the more dominant you were. Like a badge of achievement that you got to claim, a contest you won if you were the most controlling. I still see that basic frame of thought all over the place. I also see the thinking that the more intense the dynamic the more controlling/micro managey it is. I've tried various levels and forms of control with women over the years and whenever I've strived for micromanagement it's been entirely unsatisfying. I've also found that the men who seem most interested in micromanagement are trying to fill some sort of hole within themselves. I remember one woman I met who wanted complete micromanagement and frankly it was the emptiest and most robotic experience of my life. Hence the internal struggle in trying to understand the controlling impulses I have, the need for power and ownership, while also not really having the patience or desire to stand over someone's shoulder minute by minute. I finally found some phrasing that I think helps to express what I actually think and desire.

 commited12u