I am a 48 year old transgender sissy slave.. I am from Denmark but I can relocate for the right person..  I am single, unowned, no kids, no friends, no family that will miss me, the perfect victim.. I am educated as an ITsupporter but I am unemployed at the moment.  I am looking for total and real slavery.. I am looking to be fully owned and controlled with no rights, no freedom, no escape, no hope, no mercy, becoming brainwashed, broken down, humiliated, degraded into deep slavery fearing what comes next, when is the next beating, when is the next rape, what is the next sick perverted thing done to me.. Always living in chains or in some sort of bondage, staying locked away in a pitch black cell and/or cage, maybe for weeks at a time.. I am just a worthless disgusting pig, a toy, a fuck doll, a rape victim waiting to get beat up and raped on a daily basis, violently abused, a piece of meat, a possion, property who Master can do with as he pleases.. I am a big nothing who is waiting to serve in anyway I can.. Limits are limited to dismemberment, death no pulling out teeth or nails, no broken bones, kicks to the face and try to limit fists to the face, but in the heat of the moment, shit happens..  

¿Es necesario el amor en una relación BDSM?Respuesta rápida: depende. Como siempre dar like, compartir, comentar, seguir https://amaasht.art.blog/2023/03/19/de-amor-y-bdsm-nunca-nuevo-siempre-actual/

Remote Controlled - Part 2b Author's Note - The word count was a little too long for the journal, so I have had to split it in two. This is the conclusion of part two. 'If I have captured your interest enough, I want to ask you to submit to me using this app and your toys. If you agree Slut, you will leave the call open and put in your vibe and buttplug. If you do not agree, then you can end that call and I will not have any hard feelings toward you.' 'I'd like to try Jonathan.' 'I am glad to hear it Slut. Now, go and put in your toys.' Through the open line Sally could hear some noises on Jonathan's end. He quickly explained that he had purchased himself a toy that would connect to hers. As he thrust into his toy, it would capture some of the sensations and she would feel them repeated in her toys. Deep within her something fluttered. Sally didn't think that the inventors of the internet ever forsaw this use case, but she was thankful for the people with the ingenuity to make things like this work. Reporting that everything was in place, she lay down on her bed. A notification flashed up from the new app - Jonathan has sent you a new task. Turn on video when using your toy (50 point reward). She stared at it for a moment or two before turning video on the call. Immediately the buttplug began to vibrate. 'I am going to enjoy controlling your ass tonight Slut.' Sally couldn't quite imagine the device he was using on his end, but she smiled as the wonderful feeling of being controlled set in. Another notification flashed up on her phone. Put on a collar (25 point reward). If these tasks were all so simple, it wouldn't be long before she could claim both of the rewards on the app. She reached over to her toy box and buckled a simple leather collar around her neck. Flashing a smile to the camera she reached to her nipples and began playing with them as the toy in her ass vibrated and quaked away. Maybe an online dynamic had some potential after all she thought...then the vibrator in her pussy kicked in and before too long waves of pleasure were washing over her mind and body.

As for about me and who I am. Well most of it is in the profile.   But I am a skilled maker with slightly above skills in welding, metal working, woodworking, plastics, molding, 3d printing, cnc laser cutting, chainmail weaving, scene prop special effects, and a few other random skills.   I also have a high level of skill in photography, video production (both shooting and editing), audio production, photo retouching and manipulation as well as graphic design and media production. (BS in media production) I also dabble in fashion design with a strong interest in fetish ware. Currently teaching myself leather garment sewing, as well as latex/rubber creation. Been playing with bootware and am designing custom heels for high heel boots.   I'm looking for that one female artist who can transform me into a woman. As in post op grs, breast implants, plastic surgery, FFS etc.   In return, my skills and talents would be at her service,  including making a full dungeon with all the toys one could dream of. As I look more fem I would have no problem being a cam girl for her and after I am fully transitioned I would gladly be a beta dom, under her.

Oh no Im Blocked So you contact someone after reading their profile. You can see that you don't fit what they seek but hell you contact them anyway.  They chat with you whilst trying to make it clear that you are looking in the wrong place for the help you seek. You then decided to call them names and block them. Maybe you need to look in the mirror as they are not the issue you are. Respect is what you need and just because they seem to be what you want does not mean you are what they want. SoS

  PLEASE DO NOT SEND ONE LINE MESSAGES AND PLEASE READ THIS SHORTENED PROFILE BEFORE WRITING.  IT'S UNLIKELY THAT YOUR PROFILE WILL ADDRESS ALL THE ISSUES I MENTION HERE SO I MAY NOT WRITE TO YOU EVEN IF I LOOKED AT YOUR PROFILE EVEN IF WE MIGHT BE A GOOD FIT. IF YOU HAVE AN INTEREST OR THINK IT'S POSSIBLE WE COULD FIT IT WOULD BE A GOOD THOUGHT FOR YOU TO WRITE AND FIND OUT......  Because this site mangles punctuation and foreshortens some words I have tried to get around some of the issues as best I can. Please don't think we are illiterate and don't have good communications skills.  We suppose the best thing is to eliminate the majority of people on this site who don't fit with what we're seeking. That is not a judgement since not being right for us doesn't mean you're not right for many people here. We are seeking a slave or two who can be comfortable being owned by a fairly radically liberal Dominant man. We have cats and 2 Great Danes so pet allergies are a problem. We need to live with bdsm as the focus of our household so custodial children won't work. Even though  many people think I am younger than my years I am old and probably only going to be able to function as a Master for another 15 years or so. Once a family is established we will seek another dominant to be mentored and groomed to provide continuity for the family but there are no guarantees. Even so I still expect a one hundred percent buy in and c0mmitment. That literally means NOTHING held back, total honesty and devotion. Anyone afraid of hard work, total honesty or keeping a daily written journal won't work out long run.   I've been a live in slave owner most of my adult life but still have a lot to learn. If you need someone who has all the answers or can tell you exactly what you'll be doing in a year that's not me. My experience is each relationship is unique and takes on a life of it's own meaning as we each grow and evolve together our path will open up in front of us but neither of us can know exactly where it leads until we're on it.   We are a sadistic male dominant Master and his masochistic but highly service oriented slave. We work hard at living bdsm full time and still have active careers and time for the vanilla world.  We are very liberal, open minded, caring and dedicated to our way of life. Master is experienced and even skilled with over 50 years in bdsm communities and having owned live in slaves for most of that time. He is not judgemental and can probably address most any fetish or bdsm need you may have if he beleives you are capable of dealing with the outcome of living it as part of your way of life.We seek open, honest, drama free and not jealous slaves to join us in creating a caring small bdsm poly family. We don't tolerate bigotry of any kind. The mantra of ALL OF US BEING ON THE SAME TEAM might explain a lot. We require an extraordinary amount of c0mmitment, complete honesty and devotion. The ability to trust and share everything going on for you is critical.Together as a family I expect us all to work for common goals, be supportive of one another, always be excited and willing to explore further everything in bdsm. Adventuresome and self aware of your need to serve and live bdsm would be good. I am flexible and will consider slaves of any  legal age or gender or situation as in couples, singles or even an existent poly family because everyone has something to offer that could be useful to this poly family at each stage in their lives. But do keep in mind I ask for and expect a lot from slaves, That means literally 100 percent from you whatever that turns out to be.  We believe we offer a lot in return and if we connect this is an extraordinary opportunity for you and us. Please write if you feel an interest. We hate to waste your and our time if you cant envision an older owner or being expected to stay in slave space mindset almost all the time. There is a lot that we havent said here but again in the interest of not wasting your time I will stop and have more to share if you have an interest. We always answer questions as honestly as possible, feel free to ask anything.

It has been a week since your initial inspection   I have had you serve me daily. Your domestic skills are very good and you are quite the handyman    You endure your daily spankings, but  your limits need to be pushed as far as pain tolerance    Today I have errands to run, prior to leaving, I blindfold you and lead you to the bed    I assist you to lay on your side and place you in a fetal position   I bound your hands behind your back and your feet they found it together   I slowly pushed your knees more forward to expose your man pussy   I grab my favorite remote butt plug lube it up really nicely and slide it in   I kiss you on the forehead and tell you I should be back shortly and as I'm leaving out the bedroom I grab my phone and begin the wonderful stimulation of your man pussy  

As required by my Dom, I publicly declare the following: I am subMeghan, and as I type this this, whenever I am here on CollarSpace, I am to remain completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses… Today’s Journal Topic Is: I Am Now On CollarSpace Chat!   One of many fantasies my Dom/Hubby has for me is to be a webcam model.  He just loves the idea of me being completely nude in front of an unseen audience of men who I interact with and ultimately masturbate for them.   For a variety of reasons, that is simply never going to happen. Neither of us want to actually make that a reality.  However, we did come up with a way for me to come as close as I can to doing this. For the past few months, I have been playing around with CollarSpace’s chat rooms.  The first few times, I would only pop in for a few minutes, see what people were talking about, then quickly exit. The first time someone requested a private chat with me, I freaked out and exited the chat altogether.  I was such a wimp!  LOL However, over time, I’ve gotten used to it and have had some really enjoyable conversations with some of you all.   A couple observations so far. 1> Collar Space chat can be really buggy.  Getting booted out happens a lot! 2> Chat users are way more nice to me than I expected.  (I’ve previously written about how abusive some of the messages I receive can be.) 3> More often than not, users are more interested in chatting than roleplaying. 4> Male subs seem to be quite needy.  (This is just an observation, not a judgement.)   My Dom’s chat guidelines for me are as follows: 1> Of course, I am always to nude at all times.  I am to disclose that I am nude if asked or appropriate. 2> Be gracious, courteous and friendly. 3> Answer all questions honestly.  However, I may decline to answer any question that I deem to be inappropriate. 4> There are no taboo or inappropriate topics. 5> I do have to tolerate rude, abusive users.  I have the discretion to terminate any conversation that I am uncomfortable with or deem to be unacceptably rude or abusive. 6> At my discretion, I may engage in any roleplay scenario that I feel comfortable with. 7> During roleplay, I am allowed to submit to other online Doms.  However, my Dom’s/Hubby’s rules/limits always supersede any other online Dom’s commands. 8> During roleplay, if possible, I am to attempt to physically implement whatever I say I am doing.  For example: If I say that I am putting clothespins on my nipples, then I need to actually put clothespins on my nipples, etc. 9> No webcam, no video, no photos.  Sorry, not going to happen.   I do not plan on having any kind of chat schedule.  If I’m there. I’m there.  If I’m not, I’m not. If you see me on chat, feel free to just say Hi.   subMeghan  

Good Morning Ladies and Gents- well it's a great morning anyway,  here in the hills of East TN.  Had a great time in Illinois this past week, looked up some old friends, and partied a bit.  I was sorry to hear that my old friend Paul C of Paul C Leathers had passed away early this year.  I have been out of touch with the Chicago LGBTQ community.   Enjoyed being invited to my friend Carlas'  Bed, Breakfast, and Bondage weekend.   Thanks to Carla, Bob, Travis, Julie, Jessica, Hanna, and  Amanda for the love!  Happy LOCKtober! Well, I'm growing closer to 71 now, had one Hell of a great run thus far, but am slowing down a bit. Where are all the lovely women around my age?   Getting too old to build your dungeons anymore so don't ask me to.  I do have contacts that can help if you can afford it. The damn hurricane did much damage to Places such as Greenville, Sevierville TN, but especially the Ashville area of North Carolina. :(    My God Interstate 26 is closed!   As a practicing Christian, Man, I pray for the lost and the survivors.  The older I got the less time we seem to have to get things done. I have been wanting to upgrade my journal for some time.   Thanks for reading!      

MY EXPERIENCE and WHAT FRUSTRATES ME ABOUT MANY ON THIS SITE IF YOUR GOAL IS A RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY PRIOR TO MESSAGING  A recent encounter prompted me to share this. When I engage in conversation (messaging) with men on this site. They often comment on how refreshing to find a real woman. A woman who understands D/s and BDSM focused relationships are not sustainable, they are just for play. A woman who understands vanilla compatibilty is essential for anything real. If you are living your everyday life, involving your professional obligations, and social commitments, familial obligations, and other activities you enjoy. You need to know that person can fit into that part of your life. She needs to know the same of you. Presumably you have already discussed and determined an alternative lifestyle, or kink compatibility. Now its time to determine cerebral, physical chemistry and the sustainability of a real relationship That begins with the mutual sharing of information about our vanilla lives. You can still maintain anonymity, until you are ready to share who you really are out in the world.  THIS IS WHERE MY FRUSTRATIONS BEGIN.  Our most valuable commodity in life is our time. Of which we dont have an infinite amount. When we intentionally choose to gift some of our time towards a person of interest. We are saying to you I value you and want to vest my time in getting to know you. That is an act of respect.  When there is an exchange of information, its communication, sometimes people are busy, that's when you communicate to the other, it may be a few days before I reply which sets expectations regarding the response and is respectul of the other. Sometimes one party determines, maybe this isn't what i want. The respectful thing to do, is to simply say, I have decided we are not compatible after all. Thank you for your willingness to engage and share. I will continue my search and wish you luck with yours. But...this is Collarspace where many people hide who they are, and their faces behind a blank profile, or one this that is seeking the fantasy...or a very few like me..seeking something real We are all adults here. Presumably we were raised by someone, and we were taught exceptable behavior and  manners. Most of us have either currently, or at some point had a career of some kind. During that career whatever it is or was, you had to engage with other people. There were/are certain expectations of behavior, manners, and always expected to be on time  To be respectful of others time, as you would want them to be respectful of yours. These are lessons we are taught from kindergarden.. But..on this site more often than not...men will engage with you, there will be a mutual exchange of imformation. Then when you start asking about their life, which is a story that should be easy to put to words...no reply next day (but you see they are online), no reply the second day (but again you see they are online)...and then a third, fourth, etc. Why these men can't just 'grow a pair', and be honest is beyond me. Because of the randomness of profile circulation. They, make it hard for the real men and real gentlemen to be recognized and appreciated by real women like me. Now, I find myself spending my time writing this.. to say IF YOU DONT HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BE RESPECTFUL OF MY TIME....IF YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF ENGAGING IN AN OPEN AND HONEST WAY TO SEE IF WE ARE COMPATIBLE....IF YOU ARE NOT SEEKING A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A REAL WOMAN....IF YOU ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT....IF YOU ARE NOT TRULY ABLE TO RELOCATE OR CO-LOCATE, OR DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES TO TRAVEL....IF YOU ARE NOT SEEKING YOUR LIFE PARTNER.....IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE 'TIME' TO PUT IN THE WORK TO NURTURE & DEVELOP A SUSTAINABLE COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP....IF YOU HABITUALLY OVER PROMISE & UNDER DELIVER....IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS" OR GOOD MANNERS TO REPLY TO OUR MESSAGE EXCHANGE PURSUANT TO OUR CONVERSATION...... BYPASS MY PROFILE...DO NOT SEND ME A MESSAGE!  

Chasing the Dragon All she has left of her drug is dominant lovers..her dominant protective side keeps her from submitting to them; she tends to walk through life as a switch hiding her needy submissive side because the ones that she meets are disposable to her, and she tops them from the bottom gauging her danger in every encounter. They are always sexually excited, which causes a frenzy inside of them as they try to navigate her confusing waters. She looks for more than sex, but rough sex can help her feel a slice of submission until he goes too far or tries to be a Master, Dom, or Daddy (which can never happen on a first encounter) unless he shows physical restraint digging into what makes her who she is, winning her mind because sex is great but fleeting. She loves a physical touch, and her body moves to every touch, but there is a difference between someone playing a song and mastering an instrument. The one she looks for can pluck the string, keep the melody and be psychologically intense. Sometimes using her against herself to mentally catch her and explain sides of herself hidden only to be discovered in the ultimate goal to own her. It has to be more than a casual encounter; she will play, but she will remain guarded and in charge topping from the bottom chasing the Dragon until the dragon devours her......

  Unless you want to clean our house or pay our bills, we don't want you.  (Note: this is called a joke)   Daddy is all i need or want and i don't share, nor does He.     i am on here to communicate with friends i've chatted with since collarme was a thing.  i have no need or want to be bothered by the so called "doms" that throw temper tantrums when i point out i am happily taken.  Just a clue, it's none of your concern why i am on here.  i don't message or bother you, so don't bother me.  If you are not my Daddy you mean nothing and i owe you nothing.

Cowards?  Dolts?  Flakes?  Predators?  Time wasters?  Inconsistent at best. Its weird to have people request a time for speaking, give you their phone number and then close their account before the appointed time.  Such odd behavior and it certainly gives one pause when engaging here.  Then there are those whom you have spoken with many times, shared video chat, Q & A, moving towards a meeting, only to - never contact you again once you request a meeting. You are not sincere and genuine. Where have all the cowboys gone - the one with social graces, honor, integrity?  There are a few here of course and they are greatly appreciated but the rest ...need relationship therapy. Thank GOD there are a few men here who are moving in the right direction!  I fear I would lose all hope if not for their persistence and welcome demeanors.

I am a bit concerned over the mail I get here on Collarspace.My profile CLEARLY states that I am a very happily owned bisexual slave.  I have been owned for eleven years. So why do all these male subs, switches and Doms mail me about becoming either their pet or serving me? I just do not understand. My profile seems very clear and concise to me. Are there that many Trolls that just resond to my pictures without even bothering to read my profile? Are these men complete idots who simply can't Master the english language? I am polite to people but I find these folks to be annoying. Please stop

I don’t know how to exist inside my own skin right now. My body hurts constantly—every joint, every nerve buzzing or burning in some private hell—and yet my emotions are stuck in this flat, gray fog. It feels like I’m floating a few feet outside of myself, detached, watching someone else limp through my days. I’m supposed to care about things, supposed to feel urgency, supposed to feel desire, but mostly I just feel… blank. A haze. The hardest part is intimacy. Sex has always been a cornerstone of my identity, something that made me feel alive, connected, real. Now I lie beside people I love, people I want to want, and it’s like my body is a locked door. My brain remembers what it’s like to crave, but the signal doesn’t make it through. Instead I get this sense of obligation—this is who you are, this is what they expect, this is what you should be doing—while my body and spirit just won’t answer. I go through motions, or avoid them, and either way I feel like a fraud. It’s disorienting: physical pain screaming from one side, emotional numbness pressing from the other. I’m caught in between, unable to move fully toward either. I don’t know how to bridge that gap, how to show up in love when I’m not even present in myself. Some nights I wonder if this is permanent. If I’ll always be half-alive like this, longing for connection in theory but unable to touch it in practice. I miss desire like an old friend I can’t remember the face of. For now, all I can do is write it here, admit it to myself. Maybe that’s a start.

I'm a Marionette By Abba performed by Ghost    You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeSomething's wrong, got a feeling that I don't belongAs if I had come from outer space, out of place, like King KongI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clownLike a doll, like a puppet with no will at allAnd somebody told me how to talk, how to walk, how to fallCan't complain, I've got no-one but myself to blameSomething's happening I can't control, lost my hold, it's insaneI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown"Look this way, just a little smile," is what they say"You look better on the photograph if you laugh, that's okay""You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

Llego se puso de rodillas frente a mi y me dijo: Señor vengo a limpiarlo, se que acaba de usar a una de sus perras... Es verdad en la mañana me había cogido a una vainilla que lo mama muy bien. bajo mi bragueta, comenzó a limpiar mi falo con la lengua, lo recorrió completo. Al terminar me pide permiso para chuparlo, se lo concedo. mamo con tal entusiasmo y habilidad que exploto en su boca rápido, los traga con gusto. ve por tu vibrador te voy a dar un regalo, la pongo en 4 frente a mi, le pongo su juguete, un instante después me pide permiso para tener un orgasmo en ese momento retiro el estimulo, le pongo su cinturón de castidad y la mando a hacer sus tareas. Una sumisa excitada es más obediente.   she got on his knees in front of me and said: "Sir, I came to clean you, I know you just used one of your bitches".... It's true that in the morning I had fucked a vanilla who sucked me very well. She went down my fly, began to clean my phallus with his tongue, she went all over it. When she finished she asked me for permission to suck it, I gave it to her. She blows me with such enthusiasm and skill that I explode in her mouth quickly, she swallows them with pleasure. I put her on 4 in front of me, I put her toy on, a moment later she asks me for permission to have an orgasm at that moment I remove the stimulus, put her chastity belt on and send her to do her homework. An aroused submissive is more obedient

One got to love those indecisive str8 males. They know what they want, crave it, and dream with it. However, they are terrified to discover their true desires which for against their concept of masculinity. I am well aware of the effect I have on males in general. But in the case of indecisive str8 males I am terrifiying. not good looking, not a body to look at, but full of attitude and a very noticeable bulge that is always an eye catcher. I understand the conflict, there is a struggle between what the body is telling them and what their rational mind opposes. The truth is that there is a physiological contradiction; the find themselves aroused and painfully hard and their hole quivering and wet. not into guys, never had been, so what's is wrong? Nothing is wrong, the fact and plain truthe is that they found a male a man that swept them off their feet and there is no denying; the want to be close and to feel the totality of  a sexuality that now awakened refuse to retreat.  They can rationalize all they can and they can flatly denny the obvious but the fact remains the proud str8 male fell for another more powerful male! What to do? Society, religion, the wife or gf at home, and the friends know this male as a man man , and now he is still is but there is an interest a craving, a thirst that only another man (me) que quench and there is the conflict that can only be solved by surrendering and realizing that there is no label only an expansion of sexuality; a top and leader in public and asubmissive with the man that owns your most treasured space; your virginity. Step Up to the plate be a man and give your body what you now now it needs; a true male a Bull. 

Nothing can be gained without losing.Even heaven demands death.One day, someone is going to walk into your lifeand make you realize exactly why itnever worked out with anyone else.It'll be ovious in the way he shows up,chooses you, prot ects you, and guides you.

the thought Mmm the thought of my Master pulling my hair to get my attention squirming just the thought of my hair being pulled and his other hand around my throat i cant be the only liking the thought of that scenario begging on my knees for more what is wrong with me i crave to be choked out and my hair being pulled until he makes his point across mmm dont mind me over here squirming just the thought makes me wet

You are too uptight and Never said you had to have multiple partners but you are way to dominant. You can deny this all you want but it is very clear and apparent. You might think you can submit in a committed relationship but you can’t. You won’t. It’s him conceding to your will and happiness. And that’s not submission. Its role play. And your excuses and justifications do not make this any less true. I’m sorry you don’t want to hear this and ignore its validity but it is true. You simply don’t care and then wonder why it’s so hard for you to find someone. Someone wrote this to me, all because in response to a statement he wrote, I responded I dont just play with anyone, I am not a slut.

So some people don't like someone contacting them telling them what they are into, like it's some sort of afront, like they can't have kinks, because you know, it's all about me.   But here's the kicker, it isn't all about you, it about a mtually beneficial arrangement.  If one side is not having their needs and desires met, then they will lose interest. And if someone writes to you and says hey, I like you profile, I'm into... Maybe they're just excited, maybe your profile excited them enough to open up. Unless the message is basically them demanding you do stuff to them without negotiation, then what's the harm really? This is not from a place of experience, I myself do not contact people and go hey I love being humiliated do you like that? Because it's not how I am, I'm a little less excited about this lifestyle after 30+ years in it. But that doesn't mean I don't get excited, it just means I take my time doing it. So don't be harsh on people if they get excited by you, to be fair it's probably a compliment. Anyway, stay safe, have fun

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

6 Minths Post 6 months post break up. Post world upside down post everything. The what if is strong for some reason  If I'd come home early and just started packing, said i know you've been cheating, I'm done. If I'd stopped fighting sooner. If If If All of them don't matter, it's done now. I am sorry I put you to the side I'm sorry your drinking got so badI'm sorry we lost us.I'm sorry I wasn't enough.

A frenulum (or frenum) is a small fold or band of tissue that connects one part of your body to another, restricting its range of motion. The term is most commonly used to describe tissues in the mouth or the penis. Types of Frenulums Mouth (Oral): These connect your lips and cheeks to your gums. A common oral frenulum is the lingual frenulum, which connects the underside of your tongue to the floor of your mouth. If this band is too tight or extends too far to the tip of the tongue, it restricts movement, a condition known as "tongue-tie" (ankyloglossia). Penis: The penile frenulum is a small, elastic strip of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the foreskin to the head (glans). It helps guide the foreskin over the head during an erection and is highly sensitive.

On Memorial Day and the Cost of Everything It is Memorial Day weekend and I am sitting in my home doing the math that everyone I know is also doing, the specific and dispiriting arithmetic of gas prices against destination against what is left after the bills, and arriving at the same answer everyone else is arriving at: we are staying home. Again. The freedom that this holiday is nominally about feeling somewhat theoretical when the cost of driving anywhere meaningful has become its own small act of financial courage. I want to be clear that I am not unaware of what this day is actually for. I hold that with genuine respect. But I am also a mother of two boys who wanted to do something, anything, that felt like a holiday, and the gap between what I wanted to give them and what the current state of the world permits is sitting on me today with more weight than usual. Everything costs more. Everything. The casual ease of loading the boys into a car and driving somewhere that feels like summer, the small luxuries that make an ordinary Monday into a memory, all of it has been quietly repriced into something that requires calculation rather than spontaneity. I find this exhausting in the specific way that financial friction always exhausts me, not because I cannot manage it but because I should not have to manage it alone, and I do, and days like today make that aloneness more visible than usual. Which brings me to the fantasy, because this is also that kind of space, and the fantasy is not elaborate. It does not require Greece or a villa or anything that could not exist in my own home with the right person in it. I imagine waking up to someone who has already been awake for an hour, who has already thought about this day and what it should contain and has moved quietly through the early morning making it real. The kitchen already holding the smell of something good. The boys' day already considered and provided for, the small things that make children feel that a day is special, the particular attention to what they love that communicates someone has been thinking about them specifically. I imagine being handed my coffee exactly right and being told, not asked, that today I have nothing to manage. That it has been handled. That my only instruction for the day is to be present and comfortable and let the holiday actually feel like one. We would not need to go anywhere expensive. The backyard transformed by someone who understands that atmosphere is created by attention rather than budget. Good food prepared with care, the kind of effort that communicates love in the most practical language available. The boys absorbed and happy, their holiday delivered to them by someone who considered what they specifically would enjoy, not a generic child but these two particular boys with their particular enthusiasms and their particular humor, someone who has paid enough attention to know the difference. And me, in the middle of all of it, actually resting. Actually present without also being the logistics coordinator and the entertainment director and the person holding every thread simultaneously. Sitting in the sun in something pretty with a cold drink that appeared without my asking for it, watching my children have a good day that someone else made possible, feeling for once on a holiday like the holiday includes me rather than being produced by me. That is the whole fantasy. Its simplicity is the point. Instead I will do what I always do, which is make the best of what is available through the force of my own creativity and the particular determination of a mother who refuses to let her children feel the weight of what is missing. We will make it good. We will find the celebration inside the limitations, because that is what I do, and I am very good at it, and my boys will not know what was absent because I will not let them see it. But I know. And on the days that are supposed to be restful, the knowing is the thing that costs the most. Happy Memorial Day. To those who served, genuinely, thank you. To the rest of us making it work on a budget with children who deserve more than the math currently allows: I see you. We are doing fine. We are always doing fine.   I am simply tired of fine being the ceiling. It's more than tiredness, now. It's exhaustion, but exhaustion doesn't befit a Goddess... I long for all the softness the world has to offer. 

 butler in a home is responsible for a wide range of duties and responsibilities, including: Managing household staff: Overseeing and training other domestic workers to ensure smooth operations. Planning and managing events: Organizing and coordinating events and receptions. Personal assistance: Providing personal service to the household members and managing their schedules. Dining service: Delivering high-standard table service and managing dining etiquette. Household maintenance: Ensuring the cleanliness and organization of the home. Budgeting and accounts: Overseeing household accounts and budgeting. Security: Ensuring the safety and security of the home. Confidentiality: Maintaining discretion and upholding the highest standards of&nbs

The Ocean Does Not Apologize for Its Depth   There are women who dominate and there are women who *are* dominance, the way the ocean is not something that contains water but is the water, is the depth, is the pressure and the pull and the ancient, indifferent power of something that existed long before you arrived on its shore and will exist long after you have gone. I am the second kind. This is not a role I step into. It is what I am made of, down to the cellular level, the way the ocean is made of salt and motion and the kind of patience that only belongs to things that have never once needed to hurry. You come to the shore of me with everything you are. I want you to understand what that means before you take another step. The ocean does not meet you halfway. It does not soften its edges to make the entry more comfortable. It simply is what it is, in its entirety, at full depth and full force, and what happens to you when you enter it is entirely dependent on your willingness to stop fighting the current and let the water do what water does. The people who struggle against the ocean are the ones it takes. The ones who surrender to it, who release the desperate grip of their own buoyancy and let the water take the weight, those are the ones who discover that it will hold them. That the very thing that felt like it would consume them is also, in its way, the most complete support they have ever known. This is the theology of your surrender. Not the performance of it. The real thing. I want you empty. Genuinely, completely empty, cleared of every opinion about yourself that you arrived with, every defense you have constructed across a lifetime of needing to protect something, every carefully managed presentation of who you are and what you can handle and how much you are willing to give. I want the vessel clean. Because I intend to fill it, every part of it, with something it has never held before, and there is no room for what I am bringing if you are still crowded with what you came with. Walt Whitman wrote that he contained multitudes. You, in this context, will contain precisely one thing: me. My will, my presence, my pleasure, my standard, my voice in the place where your own voice used to be the loudest thing in the room. This is not diminishment. This is the most complete thing I know how to offer another person. To be so thoroughly known and so thoroughly claimed that the boundary between your purpose and my desire becomes academic, becomes irrelevant, becomes a line so worn from crossing that it simply ceases to exist. The ocean fills every space available to it. Every crack in the rock, every hollow in the sand, every place that offers itself and every place that does not, eventually. It does not ask permission of the shoreline. It simply arrives, and it arrives completely, and it keeps arriving, tide after tide, with the patient certainty of something that has never once doubted its own nature or its own direction. That is what my dominance feels like from the inside. The certainty of water finding its level. Matthew Arnold stood on Dover Beach and heard the ocean's roar as the sound of a world that offers neither joy nor love nor light nor certitude nor peace, only the eternal note of sadness underneath everything human. But I hear it differently. I hear it as the sound of something that does not negotiate. Something that has been devouring shorelines since before language existed to describe the loss, that takes the rock and the sand and the carefully constructed walls of human certainty and makes them, over time, into nothing but new shapes of itself. The ocean does not mourn what it consumes. It simply continues. This is the quality of my dominance that I most want you to sit with: not the drama of it but the continuity. The patient, absolute, unstoppable continuation of a nature that was never going to be anything other than what it is. Give me everything. Not the generous portion. Not the carefully considered offering of the parts of yourself you have decided you can afford to lose. Everything. The parts you are proud of and the parts you are ashamed of and the parts you have never shown anyone because you were not certain they could be trusted with them. Bring all of it to the water. Let it go. Watch what I do with it. Because here is what the ocean knows that the shore does not: the surrender is the point. The emptying is not the loss. It is the preparation. The space you clear when you release everything you have been holding is exactly the space I intend to inhabit, and what I bring to fill it is larger and stranger and more sustaining than anything you were protecting by keeping yourself so carefully full of yourself. You were not built to be your own container. You were built to be mine. Kneel at the water's edge. Feel the pull of it. That pull is not danger. That pull is recognition.   I release what I was before this shore. I bring myself empty and offer that emptiness as gift. I am the hollow that her presence fills. I do not end where she begins. I am most myself when I am most completely hers. The ocean does not ask permission. Neither does she. I am grateful for both.   Go under.   She will bring you back. She always does.

I get the fact that if you don't ask for it, it is harder to find. But some people are so particular about the it they seek, that they don't give others with similar but not the same exact specifications, an opportunity. On this site, we aren't given a lot of choices as to the role we put on our profiles. Using myself as an example, I have changed my orientation from dom to sub to switch hoping to find a woman I am compatible with because I feel the person, not the role is more important. If we get along otherwise, she and I can decide which role is best for US. So many filter out potential partners for really minor reasons. It must be nice having the luxury of so many people desiring you, that you can cut some of them off without further consideration.   I guess it doesn't matter, who is going to even read this?

VOTED YESTERDAY!  Wow it feels good to know it is done. I've always marveled at the lost opportunity and lackadaisicle approach to citizenship by those who choose not to vote.  Indeed, they often are the ones with the most protests.  Chit or get off the pot I say!   Too many think it is their right to be born, right to have rights, right to complain without productivity.  Of course I agree, we do have the right to not participate, but that IS participation in and of itself though I tend to believe it is almost passive aggressive in nature and not courageous or dare I say honoring the priveledge we receive in this country and many others. I'm more of the mindset that it is our duty as Global Citizens, to do our part to contribute to the human condition positively and proactively.  I know, I've heard all the arguements and it still doesn't pass muster with Me.  Take Jehovah Wintnesses - they dont' participate in ANY voting as they believe mans laws have no place under God's laws.  Imagine that!  A whole section of society that profess not to partake in any governing over their lives.  While I can intellectualize their choices and appreciate their contributions as they are - it BLOWS My mind they remain silent so to speak. The examples go one and on.  At the end of the day - "IF YOU WANT TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF AND MAKE A CHANGE". Get out and VOTE!  Better still, go get yourself an absentee ballot and VOTE TODAY!

I've had some interesting conversations of late.   The one who spoke of how much her curiosity drove people away and then spoke about how her mental disorders stopped her being curious and that drove people away.    The one who who admitted all manner of deviant desires but then admitted me knowing those things made her uncomfortable in my company, so she ghosted me.   The one who believed slaves should have no rights, but that she could never be a slave because of that, but that being just a submissive was beneath her.   The one who masturbated openly to thoughts of degradation and humiliation, but was afraid her future owner would expose her to anything degrading or humiliating.   The one who wanted to serve anyone just to practise her skills, but admitted she couldn't serve at all because she just couldn't take D/s seriously.   The theme? Internal conflict. Its a very odd thing to see so many here pulled in such clearly opposing directions. Now, people of all persuasions have regularly dreamed of writing cheques it turned out they couldn't cash; that's par for the course and expected - our reach often exceeds our grasp, after all. But this almost 50/50 spolit been desire and reality, between who we think we are and who we turn out to be, and who we present as and who we then admit to being, is something new. I was away a while, but I did not expect to come back to this. I think it's just fear, something of which there seems to be so much of, more than I ever remember. People are afraid of speaking openly, afraid of seeming dumb, afraid of saying or asking the wrong thing, afraid of learning about themselves, and on and on and on. What I think people are afraid of is being seen for who they really are because so many don't seem to know that basic fact about themselves, and they don't want to put the time, effort and work into finding out, or be vulnerable and humble enough to listen and learn if they do.   It's a dispiriting experience.      

The Most Dangerous Woman in the Room Intelligence is non-negotiable for me. Not as a preference, not as a nice-to-have. As oxygen. The dynamic I crave lives and dies on the quality of mind across from me, and frankly, a dull submissive is the least interesting thing I can imagine. What would be the point of the subversion without something worth subverting? Because that is what this is, at its core. Subversion. And it is my favorite thing about my own dominance. There is a particular kind of woman the world has decided it understands. Beautiful, polished, old money in her bones and silver screen glamor in the way she moves. The kind of woman who makes a room recalibrate when she enters it, not loudly, but inevitably. The world looks at her and thinks it knows the story: the accomplished man beside her, the elegant life, the complementary pair. Matched. Balanced. Conventional, underneath the gorgeous surface. The world is wrong, and I find that endlessly delightful. He is, to every outside eye, exactly what he appears: successful, intelligent, the kind of man other men respect without quite knowing why. He carries himself well. He speaks well. He is, in every social context that matters to anyone watching, her equal, if not more. The couple that makes people feel vaguely inspired just by existing in the same room. And then the door closes. And he kneels. That gap, between the world's assumption and the private truth, is where the magic lives for me. It is cinematic in the way that only real things can be cinematic, because no one scripted it, no one performs it for an audience, no one gets to see it but us. It is entirely, privately ours. A secret folded inside the most publicly acceptable packaging imaginable. There is something about a genuinely powerful man choosing, with full understanding of what he is doing, to place himself at the mercy of a woman who will use that power exactly as she sees fit, that feels like the most honest thing two people can construct together. Not despite his strength. Because of it. Submission means nothing from someone who had nothing to surrender. The kneeling matters because of who is doing the kneeling. And I will not pretend the aesthetics are irrelevant, because they are not. The cut of a well-made dress. The particular quality of composure that reads as warmth to strangers and means something else entirely to him. The way the room sees two people and I know, with complete and unhurried certainty, exactly what is happening under the surface of every pleasant exchange. That knowledge is its own kind of power, and I wear it the way I wear everything: beautifully, and without explaining myself to anyone. The Trad wife trope exists as a container for a certain kind of woman. Lovely, accomplished on the correct terms, a complement to the man she stands beside. I find that container useful primarily for how satisfying it is to blow the bottom out of it, privately, completely, in ways the people who built it will never see coming and never get to witness.   That, to me, is what real magic looks like.

A Master takes away his slave's free use of time. Her time no longer belongs to her. She rises in the morning when instructed, and her use of time is at Master's will. She will work at what Master orders when he tells her. If she works outside the home, she is expected back at a certain time, her time belongs to him. When she eats, sleeps, perhaps uses the bathroom, when she does her chores, and when and if she has leisure is not for her to decide. Her time is not her own. If Master calls her to his side, she goes, no matter what she was doing. Her time is not her own, it belongs to Master. When you take away a woman's free use of her time, it no longer belongs to her, but becomes Master's time. I think there is no more powerful psychological experience than that of not owning your own time. Physicality: The experience of one's body as one's own. A slave's body does not belong to her. She is instructed on how to wear her hair, whether and how to use makeup, when to be clothed, and in what clothing, and when to be naked, how to care for her skin and nails. She can be stripped and inspected at will. She is denied free access to her own pleasure. She may not masturbate without permission. She may not climax without permission. She may not take irin for a headache without permission. She has sex when, how, and with whom her Master decides. She must bear whatever pains are inflicted upon her. She has no right to say "no" to the use of her body. After a time, her psychological reality becomes "my body no longer belongs to me." When you take away a woman's free use and handling of her own body, it no longer belongs to her, but become's Master's property. It is a powerful shock that first moment a woman recognizes that her body is no longer her own. Privacy: We free beings are used to the right to privacy. We close bathroom doors. We perform our ablutions in private. We would prefer to be left alone when we are ill, perhaps, or cranky, or not looking our best. We hide the evidence of our menses: flush the tampons, wrap the used napkins. We take our deepest fears, our most intense angers, our illogical primitive emotions and hide them from others, lest they turn from us in disgust or fear. We note our dreams in morning and consign them to the dream ether from whence they come; they disturb us and we wish to forget. A slave has no right to any of that privacy. There is no private space in which a slave can hide from Master, either literally or metaphorically. She may not close a bathroom door. If Master wants her to experience her lack of privacy, he may choose to intrude upon her bathroom functions. She may not hide her fears, her angers, her emotions, for when Master intuits she is astir, he will be in her face until she opens them to him. When a woman has no privacy, neither physical nor psychological, she no longer owns her space, her external or internal space. When you take away a woman's privacy, she no longer owns her internal or external space, her very essence belongs to Master. We can see why this takes time. It takes time because one must repeatedly, consistently, doggedly take ownership of a woman's time and body, and strip her of the right to privacy. And it's no wonder there is resistance along the way: it's not only willfulness that must be addressed, but resistence out of fear when a woman begins to be transformed, when she feels her ownership of her time eroded, her ownership of her body stripped away, her privacy gone. A woman enters this process a free agent, comfortably familiar to herself, and is truly transformed. She becomes something more beautiful then she ever thought possible, she becomes a slave

Just a note — I'm probably not going to gel very well with other sub trans girls, but I'm happy to share pics and chat about our desires, so please don't hesitate to contact me if you like what you see in my profile.   Also, again a note for trans Dommes — I like Mommy Dommes who know that D/s goes both ways. I will happily fluff your ego and make you feel great about yourself if you can treat me like a baby girl who needs pampering, attention and love just in the same way. I will be as obedient to you as I can without doing anything immoral or illegal, of course, and I'll flatter, obey, pump up your ego, and be sweet and submissive to you just like a subbie baby girl or DMlg sub should be.   Same applies if you're an exceptionally good Daddy or Mommy cis Dom/me. I see so many selfish and egotistical profiles from most Dommes which are a huge turn off — the lecturing about throwing away your ego as a sub will work out long-term when you're ready to throw away your female or male ego as a Dom/me, and realize that you're serving your subs needs like they serve yours. They're your priority too, and you need to make them feel good about themselves serving you if you want them there forever. A young and horny boy or girl will serve you to get their needs for some sexual satisfaction fulfilled, but they'll be tired of your galaxy-sized ego saying that you're always right and they're always wrong just because of your relationship dynamics.A similar idea for subs: Please don't ever neglect the need for aftercare for Dom/mes too. They need it as much as you, and they're probably less confident, powerful and in control than you think. It's still a roleplay in a sense, and they have the same doubts as you about their performance. Before or after you get confirmation from them that you were a good boy/girl, be sure to puff up and stroke their egos too and tell them how you loved serving them, that they're a great Daddy/Mommy, etc. Please use your imagination. If your owner isn't good at communicating this back, be sure to ask them for an ego boost and validation as well. Don't stay with them if they become selfish and demanding, though, this is not a one-way street. You have valid needs and you need to ask for them to be fulfilled, too.

my latest fantasy:  You are going to subject me to a CFnm party. i meet You at a hotel party.  i have two choices. A) i can remove my clothes and You can escort me the the party space, or B) You can bring me to the room and my clothes will be ripped off of me. i chose to remove my clothes, leaving them behind, and now totally helpless.  We get to the other room and as the door opens i hear the voices of the Women waiting for me. i see Your friends standing there, but then i am horrified that i see some Women that i know. Some are Friends of mine. They have never seen me this way before and now i can not escape. You announce to the room that there is only one rule, there are no rules. i must remain naked the entire time, and the Women will never show anything that could not be shown in public. One of the Women i secretly have a crush on. She walks over to me, looking me up and down, smiling. She said she says, "I know you like me, and you are never going to get the courage to ask Me out. So I have to take things into My own hand, literally, She statrs to stroke me and pulls me into Her chest, and laughs. “That is as close as you will ever get to Me!” i am pinched, spanked, and passed back and forth between Your Guests. i am embarrassed by my Friends seeing me naked but i have way of leaving. i beg my Friends to help me, but no one comes to my aid. At the end of the party all of the Guests leave me. my body still aching in pain, but my body still crying out not to be left alone.

ALL ABOUT MY CFNM TEA PARTIES  For years women have been sexually ified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are ified by women?  Most alternative events ify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back! Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and ify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.  Notes: My parties do not have the express aim of being a dating service, but naturally, long lasting connections are often made. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party is not generally suitable for couples as a fluid dynamic is necessary to achieve the perfect decadent dichotomy. It is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. As such, it is obviously not suitable for hen party like groups of ladies.** All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  The ACADAMAY - THE ONLY CFNM IN EUROPE.  THE FRIENDLIEST, CLASSIEST, MOST INCLUSIVE KINKY AFTERNOON EVER.  DISCERNING LADIES, RELAX AMONGST YOUR PEERS!  IMPECCABALE GENTLEMEN ONLY MAY APPLY TO SERVE THEIR SUPERIORS  BDSM FRIENDLY, BRING YOUR TOYS  HIGHEST DISCRETION AND PRIVACY GUARANTEED Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com SOME REVIEWS! This Tea Party was a riot💃🏽- so many worthy 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆! Thank you Mistress May once again for letting us have such a good time. Miss V Thank you for a lovely evening Master May. I was thrilled to win the Christmas entertainment. You and the ladies are as cool as fuckMark N0. 3 Thanks to @Master-May for some brilliant organisation. Female empowerment. Males humbled and made to serve in a variety of ways. For my part I was stripped, plugged, displayed and disciplined by some amazing dommes. Ordered and sometimes f***** to lie face down on the bed, my naked body would be casually groped, stroked and intimately touched by any number of ladies who took the fancy, and plenty did. I was reduced to nothing more than their playtoy - sexually ified, casually degraded, all while they sipped wine and made conversation with each other. A thoroughly humiliating experience and I've never felt more turned on in my entire life. DEE & Miss El Yes a great evening love it so many classy women ??Bum is now very sore ?? Jon  I just wanted to say a massive thank you for such a wonderful event last night! I had an absolutely fantastic time! I've been 3 times now and it's always the highlight of my month. Ms. A

Right now I have a bruise on my thigh.  I am not even sure how it happened… I think I was in a rush doing something and walked into a low table or counter or something.  I vaguely remember cussing in my head as I caught my leg on something one day, but I can’t for the life of me remember what or where.  I was looking at the bruise last night amused.  I don’t mark easily, and I don’t mark often.  It actually takes a lot to leave a mark on me, which is part of what amused me about this bruise on my leg last night.  How do I not remember how it happened?  It also made me think back to when I did look at porn, and some of the pictures I have seen on this site on peoples profiles that are simply unavoidable… The horrendous marks on people… That will never be me.  My mind left my bruise and headed more into this life, and my desperate desire for something I really don’t want at all… The absolute quandary of the actual ache in my back side for correction, and my complete and total hate for pain.  Like, I don’t secretly like pain.  I don’t like it a little.  I don’t like it in a house, I don’t like It with a mouse.  I, ladies and gentlemen, do not like pain.  Yet I fantasize about it… So, I pondered this, trying to reconcile this stupidity in my brain… Why? Why do I want it so bad it feels like a need as real as air some days?  I think the pain is simply a by-product of the rest of what I want(need).  Without it, the rest of it doesn’t work.  What do I mean by this?  Well, as anyone who has chatted with me or anyone who knows me, knows, I have a rather strong and dominate personality by nature.  My submission is totally a choice I make because it is relaxing to me.  My submission is a gift to someone special, and only to that person.  When I used to be active in public forums and known as a sub there many dominate men often believed that meant I should act submissive all the time to all dominate people there… bwahahaha!  I had come with a date I was being submissive to, not the whole crowd!   I annoyed a few people.  That’s okay, they annoyed me too.  When I give this gift of submission to someone, it is because they are giving me a gift too.  They honor me by taking care of me, keeping me safe, looking out for my best interest.  My submission to them tells them I trust them to keep this true.  If they intend to bring me my much-hated pain, then I know their intention is to better me as a person, and for this I am grateful.  So there it is, it is about the mind, not the pain.  It goes beyond this simple statement though.  The entire process, start to finish, is about what goes on in the mind.  From the game of how far can I push things, to the change in tone, body language, and eye contact from my man as he goes from my man to my Dom when I am skating the edge with my behaviors.  The unspoken communication that tells me we have that connection.  That shoots thrill through me.  Then, the mental push within me, to I stop, or push it further?  If I push, the soft to stern spoken warnings, and finally, when the last straw is broken, the declaration of punishment to come… Then the absolute torture and agony of waiting for the punishment, preparing to be punished, all up in my head.  The mental ects of it all.  That is what I crave so badly… The moment any legit pain begins, it all ends for me.  I swear, whatever I did, I am sorry, and it won’t happen again any time soon, because I seriously can’t handle the pain!  This girl is not a pain slut by any stretch of the imagination!  If you have legit fallen in love with me and you aren’t a deep sadist, my reaction to sever pain may hurt you more than it does me.  But not likely. And even after deep contemplation of all of this… I sit here aching for it all… still.  smh

damn got it all wrapped up....this is talking about the imagery and also the real life of us that are dark goddess priestess vibes...those who either have their warrior/men of action dark dudes or who are holding out for theirs to come to them...and then girlies like me who are naga the serpent who ejected themselves from the entire equation.   this talksssss about mature topics of power dynamics, what the issues are on both sides, why opposition both in real life and in media keeps us seperate, what happens when/if one of us comes together..and the wildness of ladies like me who are on the roam by ourselves. sooooo warning placed.haha.   for this deep dive we are going back to the classics of anime. especially a classic that was brought to american back in the 00s.   gundam wing(i could've added gundam 08th ms team for that jungle vibe because the main couple is a similar vibe but i didnt)   and slayers   from there we are going to specifically look at three romantic couples that despite enough evidence or direct source material that shows these couples are romantic based the entire fandom tends to question if they are 'legit' or not.   we are talking about:   1.xellos and filla   2. zelgadis and amelia(this one grinds my gears to the end of time that the fandom continuously rejaspects them and falls for the okie dokie bait and switch that zelgadis deserves to be with the good easy docile girl??? we'll talk about that more..this is literally cannon...it's literally in the original work, this isn't fanfiction???)   3. heero and the queen herself relena    talk about a whole ass power couple of infinite strength and finesse that so much of the fandom just can't handle.   the finale person that is not in a couple that i'll be talking about is the one and only naga the serpent. as a young lady who matured physically very early seeing women with big breasts that were often sexualized, tried  to be shamed for how their body is, their innocent and playful and wild nature being taken advantage of, and their loud boisterous ways...and yet they always stand on top..they were confident, they leaned into the sexuality that naturally forms from a body like that and make it look good for them. they wielded the sexuality that was given to them in a way that the men and women around them couldn't stand. and only the bad bitch pack could handle it...the archetype of naga tended to never have a man..but if they did the man was a wild one that let her be free and didn't try to cage her and was the supportive ground to her wild nature.     OH HO HO.   and you know a bitch practiced that daily as annoying young otakus do and perfected it.    and you know a bitch practiced that daily as annoying young otakus do and perfected it.   now that the scene is set, we are going to discuss a few topics.....how ameila and filla are literally high priestesses and while they are the light, the are fiery spunky and have a dark goddess vibe.....they have a side of them that the love and light people are often shocked, embarrassed, and disgusted by. and naga is the straight up dark goddess.   we have the men zelgadis, heero. and xellos the man of action. the warrior men, the dark brooding dark gods on display. the men in the fuckin trenches who aren't sweet, who aren't tender but are highly emotional and empathetic due to how life has shaped them.   and then we have the whole juxtaposition.   all of these people are not average people..they are cosmic beasts. powerful, agile, stronger, and more competent than the average person in their world. and the men and women tend to be engaging in their flirting, push and pull, dynamic, and attraction in a subversive power play due to the intense immensity of them.   vanilla people cite that heero trying to kill relena is a reason they can't be a couple. every either part time, fantasy, or someone like me who is a innate lifestyler where it's apart of my natural personality knows that when relena looked at heero with that face they were simply flirting and we knew it was over for her. it was the combo of the thrill the intrigue and the emotional oh hey there good lookin. i'd say if anything besides the fact that vanilla people were looking at it in a normal romance context the clunk was that they were so young. give it time for heero to cook and he'll get that devious dangerous flirt more refined.   u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… and well naga being so powerful and without a dude is she realllllllllly running into those dangerous gangs of men where she usually gets some sort of kidnapped or tied up just for shit and giggles?   u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… so we'll be talking about their relationships as the man on the ground the dark goddess priestess, their power dynamic-y ways....why so many especially traditional people don't see these people as actual romantic husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, lovers, partners, what keeps them separate, why even when they are clearly the pair they tend to be tempted by women who aren't on their level such as lena or distracted by the young lady in kingdom waltz, why it seems in spite of the obvious synergy between these that these men tend to end up with the more docile mismatched woman that they have sexual and fleeting passion for, what the challenge is for the woman, what the challenge is for the man, what happens when these power couples never get together and why in writing and story they do everything in their power including insert some mismatched woman that they usually end up with instead to keep them away, when someone like naga says fuck the system i'm ejecting myself from all this storyline and paving my own way   AND HOW THIS TRANSLATES TO REAL LIFE.   because for some of us bdsm and power dynamics are real.   magic is real.   esotericism is real.   there are real dark goddess vibes, high priestesses, knights, men of action, warriors, and though we don't see it as visual as the media we have our own magic that we wield. and these pairings and the entire thing is a very real real world issue. or situation.   my answer is riding with naga to all this conundrum, peace out and jump off the plane with no safety net or par

UPDATE: March 3, 2022 We are making our dream a reality. We purchased a nice chunk of acreage in NE AZ near the New Mexico border. The property is riddled with evergreen trees like Juniper and Oak with grass. Yes greenery! Views that seem to go on forever as you can see the skyline in the distance affording beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Adjoining our thousands of acres of state land so no worries about any neighbors there and also gives us a lot more land to play on. We have several trailers loaded with building materials, solar panels, water and septic tanks. Now its just a matter of moving things there and starting to build our Utopian Homestead. Our search for our third to join us is now being ramped up. What a wonderful treat it would be to have her join us and be part of it from the very beginning. Allowing her input on her cabin or room. Took one of the horses with me when I made the trip from Ohio to check the land out before purchasing it. I cannot even begin to share the incredible feeling inside as we traversed the property for two days. Checking out all the nook and crannies. Kicking up antelope and even a couple Mule Deer along with the many Jack Rabbits. Exhilaration filled my heart and mind as I enjoyed the beauty of reality as dreams are being fulfilled

hooray! My edited profile has been accepted! I didn't see email announcing this, I simply logged today and noticed.  So, the forum is gone. That's too bad: I never got the hang of random chat, and preferred the forums for structured communication with random people around the world. I'm re-learning the system. When viewing folks who've viewed me, I'm uncertain if there's a way to check someone's location on the mobile app without clicking on their profile: I know that I can do it if they have a photo, but I don't think a phone app has a "mouse over"-type feature as the regular website does. I really wish that email would filter for distance the way that member searches do. If I'm not looking for folks over a certain number of miles away from me, why would I want mail from them to show up anywhere other than my Bulk mailbox? Still, with the rumors I've been reading elsewhere about how long it was taking for profiles to get approved, I'm surprised that my account got reinstated so quickly.I took a break from CollarSpace in 2019. If nothing else, this site was good for the occasional coffee date: more likely than not, the person would actually show up. I'm uncertain if things will change, but I'm curious to give it another go.

i don't play a lot of video games. In fact, I don't have a gaming system made in the last decade. But once or twice a year when I visit my nephews, I play this game that makes me really happy. So much so that I looked into buying a system just to play it. But a few hundred dollars doesn't seem like a solid investment for one game when there's so much else I need it for.   A few months ago my nephew got an entire system upgrade. My dad bought it. The entire thing. With every last accessory. So I thought, maybe he might do that for me, too, if I asked. My nephew told me everything I needed and I set up a wishlist for my birthday. My dad came to visit and he brought presents. All the accessories, yay! But no gaming system to use them with. Disappointing. But Christmas isn't all that far off. A few weeks ago I was talking to my sibling and mentioned the whole birthday thing with the accessories. He said ask him for Christmas. I was really hesitant. If he didn't do it for my birthday I didn't have high hopes for Christmas. But if I don't ask I'll never know. It's still on the wishlist, I sent a text asking Santa to please get it. No response.  Its not about the gaming system. I would never have asked for it, I know it's expensive. It's about worth. Am I worth enough to spend the money to buy it? The nephew is. Am I? He has the money. You probably already know how this ends.  No. He didn't get it for me. I'm not worth it to my father. I am only worth the accessories.  I guess eventually I'll have to buy it since I have everything else and try not to think about the little value I hold for the man I try so hard to please. This is why I try not to ask him for anything. I don't know why I was hopeful. I know better. 

I responded to an email today in which I wrote because ai realized I am done.   I figured I would post it here being as when I try to change my profile Collar space goes into spaz outs and threatens to lock me out. "Due to yet another year of Covid, health issues of my own, and general life, I have decided that I can no longer be a responsible Owner The desire is still there but taking a slave is a huge responsibility and time sinkI have friends and history in the kink community that I stay in touch with, which I dont delete my profiles here and on FetLife.  So there it is folks.  Have a kinky happy life.  ~~ Mz Stormz

ABOUT ME:      I am a “Service Oriented” slave. I was born with a slave’s heart and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to Serve. As a slave, I know that BDSM is not about me, but how I may serve you and make your life easier for you. I possess honestly, integrity and ethics and I expect the same from the Dominate as well. I see my future where I will live in a rigid, powerful Female-Led Relationship where the Mistress will make and enforce the Rules of our relationship. What I Have to Offer: *I will accept your will and decisions without hesitation or ion. I WILL OBEY! *I will devote myself to fully pleasing you including doing all of the housework, laundry, shopping, etc. to remove any unwanted tasks from your life (Service Oriented Slave) *I will accept all forms of discipline and punishment when required to insure I remain focused on obeying your Rules, Commands and Instructions. Obviously, you may also punish me whenever you feel like doing so just for your amusement   Our Relationship: * You will determine my schedule and how I spend my time  in an effort to add quality to your life *You will decide what I wear and when I wear it to humiliate and control me * You will benefit from my unique wisdom and areas of expertise as developed over the years. However, the final decision in any matter is yours alone *Our relationship will be dedicated to a lifestyle, not a form of role-playing (Female Supremacy to male subservience) *Our relationship will be based on Trust and Compatibility. Such an arrangement like this is not something you just jump into without developing trust with each other *In its purest form, our relationship will be all about You.

The Rules of the House of DL. * Family comes first. * I am here to satisfy my Master's needs and in return he will fulfill my needs. * I will be respectfulto my Master at all times. * My Master is always there for me, no matter what my need may be. * I will not put myself down. * I have to get enough sleep, rest and maintain my health. * Any big decisions, I ask Master. He listens to me and if I have a problem we discuss it. * No pets on the furniture! * 10. Be in compliance with the 4 agreements:   * 10A. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.   * 10B. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.   * 10C. Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, saddness and drama.   * 10D. Always do you best. Simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. [(www.miguelruiz.com )]

Yes I'm here almost entirely for reading journals, the rare thoughtful empathetic intellectual exchange, and the rare opportunity to give support and make helpful suggestions to those relatively new, or looking deeper, who seek it and are appreciative of my time invested. Beyond *very* rare exceptions (none in a long time that appealed to me) I'm not here "looking" for relationship or sex or cybersex at all, and not in a long time any appealing online erotic correspondence. I'd update profile to say this more directly, but as others have said, the wait can be really very long before the profile is again approved.  So for above reasons I find myself returning to the website, and to look at this usually hidden part of the human mind and spirit, and and part present human society. For most of what I see, so much unnecessary hate and aggression but I don't need to write much about it here to condemn it..but then the gems, which don't have to be polished gems, just a person opening up, it could be non-BDSM, just writing on profile or journal about dealing with health, or dealing with the loss of life of a spouse..and you get glimpse of a human mind that's not through the usual filters. And on BDSM, or sexually in general,  similarly, being able to read glimpses of candor and the inner psychological world, an uncommon chance to read someone opening up..

Recently I decided to start looking for a Dominant/partner(s). I am Ethically Non-Monogamous and happily so. I am sure, with that hitch, that finding the Dominant I am looking for will be challenging. This July, after getting therapy for 2 1/2 years, I woke up one morning wondering if I had gotten it "wrong." This wasn't for the lack of trying. I've attempted a power dynamic four different times. What if I was attempting to fit myself into a container created by stereotypical spiel of what a submissive is? The spiel is that you must have a 24/7 relationship to be happy. And there was a sure way to do power dynamics and a specific way not to do power dynamics. During my time of hiatus in relationships, I've explored a lot. I've developed a sweet co-parenting kinky caregiver arrangement with two individuals, a sadomasochism connection with a good friend, and an exploration of what makes me happy. This week while I have been lying in bed thinking about missing having someone hold me accountable for reading and writing book reports. I was part of this dynamic a while ago in a recent relationship. I came to love the expectation and being expected to do this, but the connection was riddled with potholes and unhealthy manipulation. The slave practice of this is what a friend describes as an Academic Power Slave. I'm going to need to unpack this more. I have already had someone reach out and ask me what I am looking for right now. I can say that I am not looking to "hook up" with someone to get a perceived need met and fulfilled quickly. What I am looking for, what I do know, is that I am looking for four things. I am looking for someone(s) who wants to have a committed relationship with me.  Who is looking for non-traditional services, like a concierge and specialized services. Who has their mental health and ducks in a row and puts continuous work on themselves. Who is comfortable and affirming non-monogamy.

  I need you to innocently move in close while I am talking to you -- your touch on my hip like it belongs there. Drift your fingers under the fabric, lean in and murmur "I'm still listening." Make my voice falter, my words scramble, my mind tangle, and deliberately distract me. Then, casually, make me answer your soft questions, like nothing is being done to me. But increase the pressure. Make my mind melt. Make my thoughts b lur. Make me forget the point in all of this.Make it so that speaking my mind becomes hard, and that giving you my body becomes the preferred expression of my opinions.

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE