Communication Matters! Open,  honest,  forthright Communication is essential.  "He voluntarily and openly commits himself to serve the needs of the dominant partner.. . and by accepting, she fulfills his need to serve. Where things go from there will vary from relationship to relationship depending on the mutual desires and unique personalities of the partners."

Advice for messaging*It is disrespectful and insulting when someone sends an introductory email which does not mention anything specific about my profile or interact with it at all.  Ask yourself this question.  Could the majority of your email to me be copied and pasted to 100 other people and be just as valid?  If the answer is yes and you send this to me then you have just identified yourself as a time waster.  Do you want me to think of you as a time waster?  Is this really how you want to introduce yourself?*If your spelling and grammar are poor, you are not putting in enough effort.  This identifies you as LAZY.  Some try to excuse their laziness with various reasons but you can always have a friend read what you write or just reread what you type out loud a few times before you hit the send button.  I do realize that some bad punctuation is facilitated by the text editor here because this site strips out most punctuation except commas, question marks, periods, and exclaimation points. Hopefully this will be addressed someday, but till then you can still find creative ways to mimic other punctuation.*But the main form of showing disrespect through a lack of effort is just not typing very many words.  Incomplete sentences, only one sentence, or worse, one word or just a bit of text speak show a lack of effort, interest, and concern.  Many people do not want to communicate over a phone, they only want to type, but then they also are not willing to put in much effort at typing either.  So I quickly find an imbalance of effort as I see the words I type quickly outpacing the other person.  This makes the other person seem uninvolved and unappreciateive of my efforts.  They insist that I type and not TALK to them but then they do not put effort in to type either!Frequently, I find that I spend a great deal more energy and effort typing long messages to people who do not put any effort into what they send me.  Sometimes, when someone does not put enough effort into their messages, I will limit my response back to them.  If all you can offer me is a few words or letters then I will try to use FEWER words and letters than you did!  This will make my messages difficult to understand and if this frustrates you, GOOD.  Now you know how I feel!*On the other hand, if you are willing to put time, and effort to create a polite, cogent, salient, and compelling email which directly references my profile... perhaps by pointing to something specific that I have written and telling me what you think about it, then you can be sure that I will write back to you.

How would I train thee? Let me count the ways ... I would train you to make my cup of tea so that you may see my sigh of pleasure at the first sip of the perfect cup. I would train you to accept my wishes and disrobe whenever I say ... just so I may enjoy your compliance ... and your body. I would train you to kiss me exactly as I want to be kissed. I would train you to bend over naked while I watch you from my throne chair as you clean my Jacuzzi, my floor, my toilet, my sink. I would train you to pleasure my breasts, building my excitement, teasing me until my nipples cry for attention, then satisfying with alternately delicate licking and deep sucking ... rinse and repeat ... again and again. I would train you to BEG to serve me: beg to worship my pussy, feet, breasts & ass. You MUST BEG! I will permit or deny at my whim. I would train you speak when your instinct is to be sullen and silent. I would sit you down on the floor before me, your face looking up at me from between my knees. My scent, the sight of my round breasts and belly, my stern voice and gentle acceptance would compel you to listen to your inner self and speak to me. I would train you to open my car door, pull out my chair, help me on with my coat ... sliding your fingers under my hair into the warmth of the nape of my neck, lifting my auburn locks gently out (such an intimate gesture in a public place). I would train you to be my assistant as I garden, barking orders at you as I enjoy watching you extend yourself at my behest. I would teach you how much I love to see you sweat for me. I would train you give me an excellent massage, delightful orgasm, and in time ... a full female ejaculation. I would train you to revel in my ownership of your genitals, your ass, your heart and your devotion. I would train you to love and accept the gallant gent who you are while you serve the wonderful woman who I am. I would train you to balance your family, work, self-care, and your personal life ... of which I am your Queen. I would train you to enjoy my love and pour yourself into my service. I would train you to succeed.  LadyD.

I smiled, as I pushed you on the bed, seeing as your body hit the pillow top and sink into its softness.I felt you, as you body contorted when I ran my tongue over the hood of your clit, like a pace horse.I was turned on, at the way you looked at me ging when I slid between your thighs.I melted when you ease into your role as you were given direction.I got excited, as I felt you explode after trying so hard to hold on to that feeling.I am proud, as you walk away naked legs shaking like a newborn calf.I feel relief when you put your head on my chest with a wicked smile on your lipsI can be at peace, knowing that the morning will come and you will still be mine.

Alaska is a beautiful Lady, she is a deadly bitch and She will kill you in a heartbeat.   If you don't understand what I'm going to say about Alaska, ask and I will explain.        What I'm looking for is life long commitment .      What I expect. you will respond to My voice.  you will let my voice control your mind. I will plant my words to trigger you.   My triggers will cause your body to react as conditioned.   I'm not hard core abusive but you will walk a fine line of constant excitement. Open your mind to me and I WILL put your pussy outside your body.    It's so tempting maintaining control. Giving your will to another is scary. Planting myself in your mind and triggering you where and when I want, such a rewarding experience. You'll slowly surrender to my voice. You never know when you're going to submit. When the proverbial rug of sanity will disappear under your foot, just it will happen.    My voice is stronger than you desire to disobey. When I speak, you wait expecting.  Your body will tremble.       Weather is getting cold here in Alaska.  Almost time for subbies and slaves taken to the Mountains.    Have your body stripped of warm clothing. Its so enjoyable to watch your face as your warm pussy is placed on a large rock at 40 below.      Should I bring some ice cubes to help the spreading of cold slowly clawing its way into your pussy.    Alaskan winters offer so much enjoyment.  I hope to enjoy this winter, how about you?    These are serious things to think about.  I'm telling you now what your end results with me look like. Can you handle knowing what you will look like when I finish playing with your mind      Can you live in that terror. Always expecting. Do I terrify you. Are you willing to give it all

It's that time of year! Exxxotica time!!    I'll be appearing at EXXXOTICA Edison & DC! Here is your opportunity to present your pathetic self to me in a public venue! The wise take advantage of this opportunity.     Edison dates: 24-27 DC dates: Dec. 5-8

Mentioning the age is off limits here but my training lasted 8 years and was my first sexual experience.  I knew I had to keep quiet about it but it was the only thing positive going on in my life in those years.  Life at home was miserable; girls weren't interested because I'm so short.  I couldn't compete in sports even if I had wanted to.  But 2 or 3 afternoons every week I learned more and more about how to overcome my height deficit and be useful and likeable for men.   From day one, it was drilled into me to keep my hands and my mind on him, not on myself.  That was the most important part when training for sexual submission.  To this day, I will not touch myself when anyone is using me.  It's all about my partner and their pleasure, about keeping all the energy moving toward them.

I’m not interested in disrespectful, fake subs who throw temper tantrums like toddlers denied candy. I’m not here for a drama queen who thinks his pussy is somehow better than mine — sweetie, we’re not comparing fruit here. Life’s too short for attitude, bad manners, and ego contests. If you want my time, bring respect, humor, and a little humility… otherwise, you can keep your crown and your tantrums for someone else’s court

August 14, 2024 - Multiple visits from Sextoy69       Sextoy69 has been coming around for a while.  He loves to be tied to the bed and throat fucked viciously.     Probably about a year ago before tying him to the bed and throat fucking him, I started telling him to get up on all fours so I could play with his ass. We both enjoyed it.  I would start with a single finger, applying lots of lube, eventually working in as many as three and sometimes four fingers.   A couple times he let me fuck him with my cock. But since he never cleans out because he comes straight from work, once my cock is in his ass I can't stuff it down his throat. It's one of his hard limits and I respect that.  Definitely not a problem.   So most recently when he gets here, we head upstairs, we both strip, and he gets up on all fours on the bed. I've been using wider and wider toys to open his ass up while reaching between his legs and stroking his dripping cock. I'm usually playing with my own cock at the same time.  We both enjoy it.   In fact I found, I'm enjoying it a bit too much. I get so excited, I'm so aroused playing with his ass and my own cock, it's such a mental rush watching him push his chest hard onto the bed while pushing his ass in the air.   I've learned that I get so excited, that when it's time to tie him down to the bed and throat fuck him I don't last very long. Usually within 5 or 10 minutes I'm shooting my load down his throat.   Two visits ago, I told him we were going to skip the ass play. And I must have throat fucked him for 30 minutes. He likes being tied down tight. And he likes being throat fucked extremely rough. Since my cock is down his throat a safe word doesn't work since his mouth is full.  He knows to smack his hand on the bed frame three times and that's the safe word, or safe action. This tells me to stop instantly.  Not that he has ever used the safe word or safe signal.   So two visits ago, after skipping the ass play, I tied him face up on the bed to the four corners. I tied him tight. He likes to struggle. I like to watch him struggle. But he never turns his head away causing my cock to pop out of his mouth. He just enjoys struggling.   I throat fucked him so hard. I was vicious. There were times my cock would get so rigid that I would push it all the way down his throat blocking his wind pipe. Normally I can hear him gasping for air around my cock and through his nose, but this time I couldn't hear any air going in or out of his body. That's how far my cock was lodged into his throat.   READ THE ENTIRE STORY AT WWW.SirKel.top  

my latest fantasy:  You are going to subject me to a CFnm party. i meet You at a hotel party.  i have two choices. A) i can remove my clothes and You can escort me the the party space, or B) You can bring me to the room and my clothes will be ripped off of me. i chose to remove my clothes, leaving them behind, and now totally helpless.  We get to the other room and as the door opens i hear the voices of the Women waiting for me. i see Your friends standing there, but then i am horrified that i see some Women that i know. Some are Friends of mine. They have never seen me this way before and now i can not escape. You announce to the room that there is only one rule, there are no rules. i must remain naked the entire time, and the Women will never show anything that could not be shown in public. One of the Women i secretly have a crush on. She walks over to me, looking me up and down, smiling. She said she says, "I know you like me, and you are never going to get the courage to ask Me out. So I have to take things into My own hand, literally, She statrs to stroke me and pulls me into Her chest, and laughs. “That is as close as you will ever get to Me!” i am pinched, spanked, and passed back and forth between Your Guests. i am embarrassed by my Friends seeing me naked but i have way of leaving. i beg my Friends to help me, but no one comes to my aid. At the end of the party all of the Guests leave me. my body still aching in pain, but my body still crying out not to be left alone.

I’m real, single, and ready to meet. You should be too. Now, don’t get me wrong. Lots of people contact me about my profile and say job well done, I/we are like minded, BUT blah blah blah (I am taken, I am too old/young, I am too far, etc.). They respect the realities of the universe that have made us like minded, but not a match. I can respect that. I am certainly grateful for friends on this journey. This Journal entry is not addressing or discouraging friends. This is about those who express legitimate interest… So, I think my profile makes it clear… I am looking to date, I am looking to meet someone. I didn’t think I had to clarify after an in-depth profile such as the wone I wrote that I am not interested in you if you are married, living with someone, have a stead significant other, etc. Now, if you are “seeing” other people that is fine. Those other people should not be living in your house, sharing your bank account, doing your grocery shopping (unless it is for a date or something), paying for the renewal of the tags on your car, etc… “Seeing” someone means you are taking them to dinner, and possible having a good time after once in a while. “Seeing” someone means that person KNOWS you are “seeing” other people! If I call or text when you are with them, there is no need to hide your phone. I mean, I don’t expect you to respond or answer, you are spending time with someone else, that is fine, we aren’t an item, but I have enough self esteem I will not be the other woman, and I will not be hidden. If you will cheat on your wife, girlfriend, etc… You will eventually cheat on me too, and thus I am not interested in you. I am interested in loyalty, honesty, and devotion. How can one submit to someone who is offering anything less? Obviously, I don’t expect it day one. I will probably see other people for a time too. A bond must be built and that takes time. That being said… a bond isn’t built in messages on the web miles apart from someone I have never met in person. We might send messages a lot after meeting because you travel or something, but meeting in person is crucial to me. The internet is far too anonymous and there are far too many players out there. Heck, I had a guy wait until our third in person date once to finally admit he was married! It was because he couldn’t maintain the in person dating, he finally had to come clean though. He would have spoken with me for a year online had I let it continue that route… So, I am not a huge electron communication person. I also hate phones. I will even schedule my doctor’s appointments via the web if I can. Phones are used to call if I am lost getting where we planned to meet, or if I am running late and need to text to let you know. I don’t send kinky or risqué picture via the web or phone. I don’t use snapchat… where all communication disappears before your wife can see it. We send a few emails, seem to be hitting it off, then why should we share everything in more emails? What will we talk about when we get together? Continuing to chat online is going to leave me awkward and silent with nothing left to talk about in person. Left get some coffee, have dinner, see a movie. Let’s get out of the house! Yes, I know I say I raid (game) 5 nights a week… Only two of those nights are nights I feel I really can’t skip right now, and raid doesn’t start until 8:30 at night, and those are nights in the middle of the week… so if you really want to be drinking coffee that late at night, in the middle of the week, I will see what I can to lol. If one more guy tells me, well, I have a significant other, but the relationship is dead, has been for some time, but it is complicated… and in the same breath, tells me he wants to be my Dom, and manage my world… Get your house in order before you enter mine which is already in order. I am worn out on chatting with guys who seem amazing, lead me on, but are just using me as their side joy because they are unhappy in a relationship, they have no intention of leaving. Again, if you would hurt her by chatting with me… what are you going to do to me one day? Are there any good ones left at my age? Should I just give up the search? Guys… fish or cut bait. Show me you aren’t married lol. Show me you aren’t running around on your girlfriends. Show me it is worth the time and effort to continue investing myself in some of these conversations that start to feel sketchy… Pick a coffee house and tell me when we are going!

I am at a point where I would like a live in. A romantic relationship would be ideal, but a house bitch would be acceptable. I am in the process of purchasing a 3 bedroom home in an affluent part of the south bay area of Los Angeles. It will be fully remodeled and beautifully upgraded in a resort community with many amenities.  I will NOT be supporting you. You will be expected to pay your own way and contribute financially to the household, as if you were a roommate. You should be a working professional with a good income or prove that you have the solid financial means to contribute. I work full time from home M-F, a corporate type job with regular hours. You should keep a compatible schedule or travel frequently. Tell me what you could do to make my life easier and how you could serve, whether personally or within our household. What are your skills? We'd start with a trial period first to assess our compatibility. All other attributes, per my profile, still apply. You must be over 35 and have your life together. I'm not looking to "rescue" anyone with drama, mental illness, substance abuse, or instability in your life. If you can't string together a decent intro, I can't be bothered with replying.  

Lately I've watched videos of people showing fake food, I've even come across some of it Myself.   But, I also question My life choice coming on this site that is now so full of fake people. They have flesh and bones yes, but no soul, no honesty, half truths, and sometimes just down right lying losers and energy vampires.   I know I can't be the only one knowing this. I hear from men saying the same thing however , they are usually ( not always ) bullsh#ters themselves. Yet here I am, still looking for a honest person is a sea of 1000's. Come on people, DO BETTER !  If your just looking for a play partner, say so.  If you have family,property, work or a business and can't move, say so, better yet don't even write ,unless you will benefit Me. I'm not a needy person, I do well enough on My own. I'm not looking for a certain look, body type or financial status.  I don't give a sh#t.  Just because the world is going a bit crazy doesn't mean you have to. I only want grounded honest people around Me. That's it !  

 Things that excite Me in a slave Addiction Infatiuation Obsession Devotion Worship Providing Me Attention Sacrifice Restriction Whimpering Obesiance Surrender Dedication Persistence Patience UNREQUITED LOVE Come, darlings, step into Goddess' world.  Find your true self in My Control.  Be Amazed by Me.  Revolve yourself around Me.  

The Weight of Three Minutes: Continued I do not move quickly. I have never needed to. I circle him the way I circled him earlier, when the tea was still cooling on the obsidian table and the correction had not yet taken its shape. He tracks me without turning his head, feeling my presence move around him the way you feel a change in light, knowing without seeing. This too I have built in him. This particular sensitivity to where I am in a room, to the quality of my attention when it lands on him, to the difference between my stillness that is simply stillness and my stillness that is preparation. I stop behind him. I let the silence hold for a moment, long enough to feel it settle into his shoulders, into the careful architecture of his maintained posture. His breathing is controlled. He is working for that control and I can hear the effort underneath it, the slight and deliberate evenness of someone who has decided composure is the one thing left available to him and is holding it with both hands. "You ruined my moment of peace," I told him, and I made sure he heard every word, felt the shape of my disappointment. "So now, you will provide the entertainment." I released his chin and sat back, beginning to unbutton my blouse with deliberate, unhurried movements. The pearl buttons slipped free one by one, the fabric parting to reveal what I wore beneath - sheer black lace that left nothing truly hidden, everything offered and yet withheld at my discretion. I shrugged the blouse from my shoulders and let it fall behind me, uncaring where it landed. "Expose them," I ordered, and I watched the conflict play across his features. The desire to touch warring with the knowledge that he had not been granted permission, only command. His hands rose, trembling slightly as they found the edges of my bra. He pushed the lace down with careful, reverent movements, revealing my breasts to the cool air of the room. I felt the immediate response of my nipples tightening, the subtle shift in my own arousal at being displayed, at being seen so completely while he remained bound by my rules. I leaned back slightly, presenting myself to him with deliberate cruelty, close enough that he could smell my perfume, feel the warmth radiating from my skin, see every detail of my arousal. But not close enough to touch. Not without permission he had not yet earned. "Warm them," I instructed, my voice dropping to something softer, more dangerous. "With your breath. Only your breath. Hands behind your back." He obeyed with the desperate precision of someone who knew the cost of failure. His hands found each other behind him, clasping tight as though the restraint were physical rather than commanded. He leaned forward, close enough now that I could feel the ghost of his exhalation against my skin, the careful warmth of each controlled breath directed across my nipples. I watched him struggle, the way his jaw tightened with the effort of restraint, the way his eyes kept darting between my face and my breasts, searching for any sign that he might be permitted more. His arousal was unmistakable now, visible in the strain of his posture, the hunger in his gaze that he could not fully disguise. I let him continue until I could feel my own wetness gathering, until the tease had sharpened into something that required resolution. Then I shifted forward abruptly, closing the distance he had been forbidden to cross, pressing my breast against his parted lips with deliberate force. He made a sound, something between surprise and desperate relief, but I denied him even this small satisfaction. I held him there, my nipple resting against his closed lips, using his mouth as nothing more than a cushion, a warm surface for my own pleasure. He tried to part his lips, to taste, to suck, and I pulled back just enough to deny him, then pressed forward again with the same cruel restraint. "You made the tea too strong," I reminded him, my voice steady despite the arousal coiling tighter in my belly. "So you can be my cup holder. Nothing more." I shifted my grip to the back of his head, my fingers threading through his hair with controlled pressure, and pulled his face forward into the valley of my breasts. I held him there, my skin pressed against his mouth and nose, feeling the desperate rhythm of his breath hot and trapped against my cleavage. He struggled slightly, instinctive panic at the restriction, the need to breathe and I tightened my grip just enough to remind him that even this was at my discretion. "Stay," I commanded, and felt him still, surrendering to the constriction, accepting that his comfort was irrelevant to my pleasure. I held him there longer than necessary, feeling the subtle shifts in his body, the tension in his shoulders, the controlled shallowness of his breaths, the desperate patience of someone who knew that any complaint would only extend his punishment. The power of it thrilled through me, sharpening my arousal to something almost painful, a heavy heat between my thighs that demanded attention. I released him finally, letting him gasp against my skin, feeling the desperate gratitude in the way his hands clenched behind his back, still obedient, still restrained. I leaned back enough to meet his eyes, watching the dazed hunger there, the submission that had settled deeper than before. "Unzip my skirt," I ordered, my voice rougher now, the command firm. "Slowly." (TBC)  

I bring it on myself, I know. I am a perfectionist overachiever and I do too much. Earlier I was taking a break watching tv, and a song came on. I don't even remember the song now, but I burst into tears for a good few minutes for no reason at all. Other than I have created a monster of a deadline that I am spending way too much time working on. No balance. But we knew this.  The other day I had a conversation with someone about pacifiers. Not just the what, but the why, and the stigma and labels, and how none of that matters. I bought two, they're purple. After a run through the dishwasher I tried one out the other day. I don't know that I feel anything, but I also don't know what it is I'm supposed to feel or if it has to be used in conjunction with a particular activity, like coloring. Which I hadn't done in that moment. Or this one. I kind of feel like Maggie Simpson. What I don't feel like is an infant, and I'm glad of that. Guess I'll continue my experiment another day when I can do more things with less stress. I'm still calling this progress in breaking down barriers. Oh, and I bought bubbles. Looking forward to a day when it's not a million degrees outside. 

The Yearning for Grounding: Finding Purpose in a Dominant Dynamic.. We all possess hidden desires, yearnings that often simmer beneath the surface of our carefully constructed personas. One such yearning, perhaps more common than we readily admit, is the desire to be truly seen, and subsequently, guided, challenged, and even, in a sense, controlled. This isn't necessarily about literal ownership, but rather a deep craving for structure, direction, and the secure boundaries offered by a strong, assertive presence.The idea of being objectified, used for amusement, might sound unsettling at first glance. But on deeper reflection, it can be interpreted as a desire to be a source of light and joy for someone else. To be valued, appreciated, even celebrated for what you bring to their life, even if that role is perceived as subservient. This isn't about self-degradation, but rather about finding fulfillment in serving a purpose, in bringing happiness to another.The reality of a superior mentor, a "Guiding Lady" as it were, nurturing and shaping your path, speaks to a fundamental human need for guidance and direction. In a world often characterized by ambiguity and overwhelming choices, the prospect of surrendering to a trusted individual who can provide clarity and purpose can be incredibly appealing. It's a desire to be molded, refined, and ultimately, helped to reach one's full potential. Finding such a person provides a safe haven, a space where vulnerability is not a weakness, but an opportunity for growth.The cornerstone of any such dynamic is trust. It's not merely about submission, but about placing your faith in someone who will act in your best interest, even if that means pushing you beyond your comfort zone. The hope lies in finding a true, committed partner who understands the nuances of this dynamic and can navigate it with integrity and respect. This requires open communication, clear boundaries, and a shared understanding of expectations and limitations.Ultimately, the yearning for a dominant guiding force speaks to a deeper desire for purpose and commitment. It's a search for meaning, for a role that feels authentic and fulfilling. It's about finding someone who can not only appreciate your offerings, but also help you to become the best version of yourself. This journey may involve vulnerability, introspection, and a willingness to surrender control, but the potential reward is a profound sense of belonging, purpose, and unwavering connection. The key lies in finding that "true trusted superior person" who can provide not just direction, but also unwavering support and unwavering faith in your potential.

The Kink Vending Machine Dec 17, 2017   So, you want to submit. You want to be Topped. You want to find a Dominant Woman to whom to submit, and who will probably Top you.   I get it. I really do. It's just like all other relationships - we need something, and we can only really get it from other people. We want sex. Sexual gratification is possible without other people, but almost everyone agrees that it's not nearly as gratifying as it is WITH someone else. We want love. We can love ourselves, and we can love others, but most of the time, we have a powerful need to receive it from someone else. We want to do… stuff. Sex stuff, relationship stuff, life stuff, and yes, again, some of it can be done by ourselves, but mostly, we want someone to do it with, or to do it TO us. We want a someone. Lots of us want our own special someone, who is OUR someone, and for whom we are THEIR special someone in return. Or at least one of their special someones. And let's face it - sometimes we get lonely. Or we get needy. Or we just really want to do that fucking cool thing RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!!! And then we can get a little…. fixated. That "someone special" starts to look more and more like "someone who will" and then "anyone who will" and then to just "anyone."   But almost NONE of us want to be "just anyone" to someone else. "I didn't get their name" is the joke we see all over to denote a space filler, a warm body, without memorable characteristics. Not special at all, in other words. Forgettable. Not important enough to bother with as an actual person. Just a means to an end.   Completely interchangeable with any other "anyone" we can get hold of when we need one.   About as special as a vending machine.   You need a coke, you go find a machine, pop in your dollar, soda pops out, and you move on. The machine? You barely noticed it when you were feeding it money. You sure as shit don't value it. And you forget it the second you pop that can.   Not flattering.   Here's the crux of the problem - if you will kneel to anyone who lets you, then when you kneel to me, you aren't kneeling TO ME - you're just kneeling because you like to kneel. It's the same as telling me that I'm no one special, and I could be swapped out with anyone and you'd be fine with that. It makes everything I am … nothing. Meaningless. Worthless.   Well, to you, at least.   All the years I spent working on learning how to communicate in a healthy, assertive, honest and open way… they don't matter. All the work I put into learning what makes a good Dominant? The same. All of the time I took educating myself on what makes a bad Dominant? Who cares? Any skills I built because they would give my submissive a better experience? Nada. All of the things that make me Dominant, or a good lover, or a good partner, hell, that make me a good person? Not worthy of notice.   Everything I am, everything I've made myself, everything I value about myself, has no value to someone like that.   They aren't looking at my profile and thinking "DAMN this person sounds amazing!" They aren't reading my writings and falling a little bit in love with my mind. They aren't seeing what I post about how Dominants and Submissives should treat each other and wishing that could be them.   That person… the one who kneels to anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat? THAT person saw a pretty face, got a woody, (or let's be honest, had a woody before they even logged on and are just looking for something to wank it to) and dropped to their digital knees because that’s what they want out of it all - to feel grovel-ish, to play pretend without admitting that to the other person, to rub one out to their fantasy of a Dominant Woman who would do to them the things that they saw in some porn vid. That person is 100% focused on getting something they want. They don't care where they get it, or even about the quality of what they get. They want what they want, and everything else is irrelevant

A record of a night out, recalled by the lady, written by me. Dinner. My phone warbled, from the tone I knew it was a text from Steve. ‘Blue’ was all it said. It was an instruction on what colour of underwear I was to wear tonight. That my lover had been thinking of what I should wear closest to the most intimate parts of me made an interesting diversion from a dull meeting and I took a moment to enjoy the prospect of what tonight held. 5pm arrived and I was out of the building like a sprinter, trailing my suit bag and case behind me! He had booked me into the beauticians for 5.30 and it was a cab ride away, luckily the station was only around the corner and a taxi was waiting in the rank. Leaning to the passenger window I breathlessly asked ‘The beauticians on Marchmont St as fast as you can please’. I jumped in the back and we took off as if he knew why I was in a hurry! On arrival I gave the Cabbie a £20 note and ran in through the black shop doors. The receptionist said ‘Ms Canning? booked in by Mr Mitchell?’ Yes I replied and was introduced to a middle aged lady who led me downstairs. Sitting in a consultation area she asked me a few questions that gave me some insight into what Steve had planned for this evening. I was going to be waxed, a Hollywood plus my legs, all my nails were to be done, a full facial and my hair was going to be worn ‘up’. My makeup was also going to be done, and a massage had been booked. I was going to be collected at 7.15 so time was tight. First I was waxed, it had been done before however this time all the hair was to be removed, including from my armpits, I was told to strip, and put on a dressing gown. I lay back on the white padded table, placed my lower legs in the cradles and tried not to seem embarrassed though the blotches on my throat gave my true feelings away away. As I had been booked in by a man they must have realised why I was there. I loved being Steve’s submissive however I still felt embarrassed if I thought people knew. Once she had started removing the faint traces of hair two women joined her and my finger and toenails were filed and prepared. They were finished before I had to turn over and kneel on all fours; they gently held my buttocks apart as she removed all vestiges of hair from around my anus. Once my eyebrows had been plucked I put on the dressing gown on and was taken to a large wet room and advised to shower quickly, but not to rub the waxed areas. It was heaven; the supply of toiletries was superb! I was quick, but called before I wanted to finish, trailing the dressing gown chord I went to the masseuse, Twenty minutes later I felt like a million dollars! She also applied the after wax solution to prevent in growing hair occurring. By now my mons was super smooth, and felt very sensitive.  Then back into the shower, a quick wash off to remove the oil and then I was dried in a hot air chamber! Marvellous sensations of being caressed by a powerful jet of warm air blowing up from the floor! I parted my thighs just more than was needed to feel its effect on all my bare skin! I thought this a luxury until I was surprised by being told I was having a spray tan applied to turn my skin the gentle tinge of honey gold that he loved. I blushed internally when the beautician informed me she had been told it had to be even, and all over. The private section of the beauty salon was the venue for my hair, make up, nails and I sat there nearly naked as people fussed around me. The facial was followed by the make up artist who asked what colour dress I was going to wear, dark blue I replied. By 6.45 I was being ushered into a dressing room where my bags had already been placed. I rolled the dark, seamed fitted stockings up my legs, the suspender belt had the proper metal clips so it was a simple job to fix them. The dark blue silky thong slid neatly between my buttocks. The bra was designed to give a little more cleavage than it needed to. Finally I slid the panties up my thighs. Steve sometimes expected me to wear them over a thong; he delighted in taking my panties off twice and knew I did not find a thong too comfortable to wear. It was part of why he made me wear one. My shoes were high and black patent leather with wide ankle straps. The dress was close fitting across the top, plunge necked almost to my bra and the slinky material fell from my waist to just above my knees. It had been slightly lined, so my elaborate underwear was not obvious. The shop called a taxi and I met Steve in the hotel foyer. Dressed in his DJ he was noticeable by his height but that was all that attracted attention. However I caught every male eye in the room. I crossed and embraced him as I always did if I knew what was good for me! It was a routine I had always felt embarrassed about, today it was more so as I was being watched by so many people. He murmured ‘You look absolutely stunning’. ‘Let’s get dinner out of the way, the clients wowed and committed to the project and you and I too our room.’ I stopped pressing myself against him as he finished speaking. Dinner was a fairly lively affair, if a little difficult due to the 3 different languages. It seemed the Japanese chap to my right could only communicate by looking into my cleavage. As I was the only woman I had no competition and wished I had! However as he was the senior partner in the firm placing the order I tried to show some interest and smiled until my jaw ached. By 10 it was done, a few good byes, an open ended expense account at a lap dancing club was organised and the rest of the party set off into the warm night air. Steve led me by the arm to the lift. His hand rested on my waist as the door shut, it was trailing across by bottom as the door closed. By the time it opened again the people in front of us would not have known his hand had been up my skirt and caressing my bottom and the length of my slit the whole way from the foyer to the 25th floor. By now my tummy had the light feeling that always presaged our time alone. I did not know whether I was to be spanked or made to pleasure him, the feeling in my tummy didn’t care. The room was large, the bed huge, it had a sitting area and a large desk. It was stylishly lit by wall lamps and just warm enough. The view out over London was amazing. He emptied his pockets onto the desk and removed his jacket. ‘Come here’ was a simple statement. It never failed to make my throat feel tighter. ‘Remove my tie’ was the next thing he said. I ran my fingertips over his neck and kissed where his shirt collar had been. He quickly spun me around so I faced a mirror, his arms encircled my waist and he whispered int

Message to women of all natures on here. Not to sound paranoid but I am noticing a flux of messages from European men trying to invite themselves into my company. Can you all be vigilant if a man uses the words relocation and marriage in the same sentence. I have been bitten once by a German man who in my opinion clearly invites himself across Europe into people's homes for free food and stay.  I am assuming there may be a European influencer advising men this is ok. There also seems to be a bit of a scam where a man claims they travel all over the world and then says they won't be back till X date.  I think this is another scam where they claim to be successful and the travelling lifestyle appeals to most but I think it is just another scam.   Luckily, I have not been bitten by that nonsense but ladies be vigilante, give the normal men a chance and the ones acting strange and pretending to be high flyers, don't give them any of your time.   If you want a rich old man go to SugarDaddy.com, if you want a normal kinky man just be patient and kind to others.  

He stuck his cock in my mouth, took my head in his hands and began thrusting. I felt a flush go through me, his passion and determination made my cock hard. Having him in the back of my throat made my eyes water. I felt like a slut and loved that he could do that to me. Occasionally his cock came out. As I was instructed whenever I am giving a blow job and his cock leaves my mouth, I am to say one of his favorite phrases, a list of compliments or begs. After he'd showed me he was in charge, he let me savor it in my mouth for a while. I took two to three inches at first and darted my tongue under his shaft as I went up and down. I tried to keep him in my mouth unless he pulled out himself.  

I've been single for a long time and have been online here {and a few other sites} off an on over the years.  Always open to making frineds though if online only it can be hard to be active as life is busy. I would really like to explore submission to a Dom, Daddy, Master and local is best because it provides the opportunities to enjoy frequent time together and time for play.  Because my sexuality is intertwined with my spirit and soul, I cannot have just a physical relationship without first working on trust, admiration, enjoyment of the other person outside the bedroom also. Have been actrive in the local kink community in the past and would enjoy that again! PS I do have an exhibitionistic side and so attention is very much appreciated by this BBW!

A submissives roles and responsibilities    1. Loyalty. Above All Else loyalty. It should be in the background in any given situation   2. Submission I am a submissive at heart. Though I would like to point out that you should view me as a dog. A dog that has been out in the wild too long and acts like a wolf. I am actually an infj. But how I interact with the world and how I feel are two different things. I decided a long long time ago that the world was out to destroy me and if I didn't stand up for myself nobody would. So while you read my works I'm sure that you will be scratching your head like is he a submissive? Yes I am. I just I Know Myself worth I know that I am valuable. And I'm not stupid. Which means I'm not going to throw that value away for nothing. For the right Dom submission is a joy and pleasure. Control, dominance, possessiveness, and submission leads me dripping in ecstasy. All I want is to submit to a good Dom.   3. Sexual access- this means having sex sometimes when you're not in the mood. It baffles me that people get into relationships that become sexless and then they stay in them. I just don't understand. I mean I totally get you know two tops or two bottoms being together because they love each other and enjoy each other they just don't have sex together they bring in third parties to do that. I totally get that. But letting resentment grow and letting your body go and that turning into a relationship that is negative energy essentially is just crazy. Which is why the selection process is so important and is why you have to have a good overall vision for what your partner should bring to the table. And once you know what your partner needs to bring to the table you can get an idea of what you need to bring to the table.   4. Bringing peace into his life - so there's this huge list in boxes to check for him to be even considered. So what do I bring to the table. In a sub Dom relationship and I would say even in a vanilla relationship bringing peace into his life is the most important thing you can do aside from loyalty. So what does it mean to bring peace into his life? This could be simple to complicate it. So let us keep to vanilla examples so it doesn't get too dirty. So let's say it's Sunday it's game day hooray. And he just wants to watch the game. What am I to do? The house should be clean. One of his favorite meals should be cooked and served to him without question or complaint. And then while he's enjoying his meal I will make sure to sexually gratify him in whatever way I know most pleases him. And when it's over there will only be a couple words of love and affirmation and I will let him enjoy his day. Or it could be even more simple. You need to be able to read and understand him. Did he have a bad day? Is now the time to bring up a repair that needs to be done to the house that you cannot handle. What about that thing that's been bothering you should we talk about it now? It's knowing when he needs to feel like a man and enabling that. It's reading him and knowing when you need to be super duper submissive the tickle his fancies. Giving peace into his life is an individualistic thing and I cannot list What specifically I would do because we are talking in generalities. But let me give you one more vanilla example but I still think it is a good one. So I view it as my responsibility to every morning wake up and give my job the best blowjob I can. And while this is sexual gratification that is not what it's about. It is not such a lowbrow thought as I give my man sex therefore I have them on lockdown that's fucking stupid. No it is about giving him a clean mind before he starts his day. It is me exercising my devotion and submission to him affirming to him he is my king I am his and I have his kingdom on lockdown. And doing this will enable my Champion to go off and fight his battles of the day because he has a reason to win. Me.   5. Keeping his kingdom in order- this is a mundane and boring responsibility. But it is essential. The house should be spotless. Taxes, insurance, appointments, minor house repairs, auto repairs and maintenance, and all the other little s*** that you have to take care of in this world is my responsibility. So that once again he can focus at succeeding at whatever Endeavor he is engaged with.   6. Someone to spar with- depending on the Dom or the partner someone to spare with can be essential. Someone who has a different point of view and a different way of looking at things. Someone who can challenge you who can play The Devil's Advocate. Without somebody to challenge you and your ideas you won't be thinking much so if you're set in your ways and do not want to hear other people's opinions or ideas I am probably not the right match for you.

The M/s lifestyle is an extreme form of structured relationship, and what makes it powerful is that it’s built on choice and consent. The surrender of power by the slave and the assumption of responsibility by the Master isn’t casual—it’s intentional, serious, and often lifelong. At its best, it creates a dynamic where both roles are deeply fulfilled: the Master gains purpose through leadership, structure, and control, while the slave gains purpose through service, clarity, and the comfort of being fully owned.   What stands out to me is that it magnifies truths about human connection that already exist in all relationships: people crave trust, guidance, being seen, and being valued. M/s strips away the pretense and makes those elements explicit, codified in rules, rituals, and expectations. It’s not easy—because maintaining authority and surrender 24/7 in a modern world takes enormous honesty, discipline, and commitment. But when it works, it creates a bond few other dynamics can match, one that is both practical and profoundly emotional.

i tried to make a post about lilith earlier like i did on reddit but this site ho'd me and didn't post it after posting it was already posted. oh well. trust me if you go on reddit or otherwise it's there.   I think I've mentioned it before on here that I am above average with astrology, but I'm not an astrologer. I've never been trained on how to actually read the charts, how to make the charts. I've never taken any classes on it. What I've learned is simply through grit and connecting with other novices and pulling together information. and just amalgamating slash being alchemical And bare bonesing it, you know, like raw dogging it. But as I've shared on my previous points. my intuition is like Doja cats lyrics. Trust me, I got magical foresight. so I might not have all the understanding in three D of the words, the vernacular, the structure, the format, the step by step to do things. especially with people that are more versed in these esoteric and magic school and mystery school or any of these long standing principles and all the stuff in the mystic spiritual magic world, right?   It's like the vibe of not being a pedigree, but being a scrappy, rough misfit. LOL.   So I know more than the average person about astrology, but in the world of astrologers, I know nothing.       I've been riding extremely about this balance and holding the line when it comes to how the. Michael male divine energy engages with the feminine. Sophia Divine feminine original source energy. And because in this life I'm alternative, I'm kinky. I'm. BDSM y. I'm polyamory. in a world where I was meant to be in the sauce and I was meant to be. physically engaging with people in a romantic sexual. real life kind of realm. categorizing myself in my past experiences. But before I came to realize I'm supposed to be more of a teacher and I'm not supposed to really hold that. because when you start holding that, you lose the higher perspective. You lose like the higher realm of it. right? but before I figured that out and I was trying to get lost in the sauce, I've always. expressed relating to the opposite sex in a very Non mainstream way. So it's like, as I continue to write the way that my divine feminine resonates on Earth is with the other alternative girls. I'm connected to the divine feminine with the dark goddess energy, with the bad babe energy. with the girlies who are with the mafia vibe, who are with the gangsters who are with the dominance, who are with the. people running the emotional, physical, mental, sexual. edge.   Just like cyberpunk. 2077. I'm with the edge runners. Not all women are like that. Most women aren't like that. Not all men are like that. A lot of men aren't like that. And in the spiritual world, I have found most of them are very love and light and asexual to begin with. So it's like the way. I'm channeling this message is for a very unique small subset of people. But even in the confusion and stuff, I know what I'm seeing. I know what I'm I'm supposed to write about. I know I'm supposed to say I know the message that I'm spreading even. if I don't necessarily know who I'm supposed to spread it to. I know I got the goods. Deep down. and even if these goods never turn into anything but these notes like I know that there's something magic going on. Hashtag being a projector, hashtag being a instinctual spleen at projector hashtag having the juxtaposition cross of assimilation bringing in crazy ass concepts that are forward thinking. so ka. so desu ne. Unrelated side note. Because I am an anime snob I do not like the digital animation and the styling. Of the I watched this show because I am deeply into the fandom. I literally not being facetious, but probably two years straight watching over 15 people play the game as much as. much as they completed it and I have never seen anyone complete the game. I saw one person on You Tube from Australia that was a lady get very close to completing the game but then felt pressured to do phantom liberty without finding all the side missions and side things and stopped to go to Phantom Liberty to appease her. fandom. but yes, I went very deep into this whole lore of cyberpunk. and so I felt I needed to watch this show in order to honor the essence of it and the message that this amazing franchise had and I Like I do most modern anime was slightly disappointed. Didn't feel much from it. Got a little bit from it, but a lot of people love how that style of medium of art is nowadays. And I'm on purpose, not on the same. not on the same vibe. I went to a club that was anime based. And I came across a younger guy. that was still an adult, obviously. But he said, I'm stuck in the past and I said yes on purpose. and he was like the 90s and I was like actually to be specific. I'm stuck in the 1970s to 2005 talking about bigger concepts like Leji matsumoso Galaxy Express 999. space operas. Tenchi muyo slayers. ah megumi sama sailor moon, serial experiments lain, neon genisis evangelion, even lighter stuff like mermaid melody pichi pichi, metropolsis the ova. When I look at something, I'm looking to learn to expand my soul, grow, get the channeled message. I'm not here for shits and giggles and fun. 99% of the time when I'm consuming, it's like I'm doing this as an unpaid job, like as a message. So this stuff nowadays that I've been introduced to does not have a message. So I do not relate to it. I'm a bad girly with a mission. And I'm very serious about it. And because I'm human, I might go astray. I might slip. I might fall, but I'm always straight back to the motherfucking mission in the day.   I'm always going to be talking about relationships and sexuality and spirituality and all that, because I've literally my entire adult life, have been wired that way. And I was. probably starting to get trained to do that when I was a minor in. probably more appropriate manners. and spirit. But I just been feeling like this message of unity on your sovereign path and not getting lost in the entanglement and the ties....passion....of sexuality and fleetingness of of. obsession and fixation and getting off track because of the pool of what the opposite person might do. And St true to you and like holding into that and seeing how so many women, especially because when you're on the edge, you're dealing with More intense chemicals in your body. You're dealing with more power play. You're dealing with it on a higher level than the average person. It's like I I've just been like talking about getting in the sauce and how it it leads to at least on the woman's side cause I'm a woman, then being down bad and their lives literally ruined like either physically, mentally, emotionally. Unfortunately, sometimes sexually, like that's the the gamble playing on the edge that when you fall, you fall harder than someone that's just totting the line. But because the dark goddesses are out there seeking truth on deeper depth and dark corners, they're willing to take that risk. I'm assuming, you know, you guys, I guess I'll call you dark gods. I have an awareness, but again, I just don't have a penis. I don't have that energetic masculine quality. I'm more of a panther. You guys are more like lions. Like III see it, but I just really can't tap into it. I can only observe. So I'm guessing same thing for y'all, but I can't say it from the core of my soul because that's just not what I was meant to do this time around. And a parmy hates to say stuff that isn't 100 percent confirmed. LOL. To the best of my confirmation at least, or to the best of my sourcing.   All this to say, my astrology hasn't gone to the level of looking at the transits or the. conjunctions. I know what they are. I can read when I see it on a chart, but it's not something I know how to make my own. It's

Training a new submissive, what does that mean Training means something slightly different to every person. The overall ive is to change, modify, or adjust behaviors, attitude, abilities, and desires of the submissive to match that of the dominant. When done in good faith and conscience that means making those changes and adjustments not only with consent of the submissive but also in respect to limits and limitations. Many people have different methods to training and how it is most effective or best accomplished. Here is my opinion and what I intend to do once I find the sub with which to explore that journey with. I think that training, for the most part should be gentle and takes time. Other disagree and think that rough fast training is more effective. In my experience, especially when working with someone that is very new, that can be extremely overwhelming. I think that training should be well thought out, methodical, and subtle, especially at first. Instead of diving into punishments and harsh corrections, gentle reminders and calm but authoritative explanation can be much more effective. I also like to explore other mediums with witch to train a submissive. I very much enjoy exploring erotic hypnosis and showing someone new what kind of things you can do with it. How with very little time you can accomplish much in training a new sub. The key to this sort of exploration is not only consent, but informed consent and full understanding of the process. Someone willing to participate. This is not the sort of thing you can be rough and forceful with. It takes a gentle touch, especially when the goal is long term. Like many I do enjoy the rougher aspects of sexuality, rough sex can be intoxicating under the correct circumstances. That being said, it's not something to rush into head first with someone who has no experience of it. If you work into it slowly, what feels like excruciatingly slow to some, you might be surprised what you can accomplish. Fear can be a powerful motivator for some, but most will push themselves much further if they feel safe and know that they can trust their partner. When I say excruciatingly slow I don't mean in the course of one session. I don't mean over a week or even a couple weeks. When something is worth it you will be willing to put for the time and the effort to take things as slow as necessary. Sometimes this means months or even longer. I'll use anal training as an example. For someone who has never experienced any kind of anal play it can be overwhelming and painful if someone rushes things. If someone goes from no experience at all to full on anal sex in one session it may push them to never wanting to do it again. If you take your time however, start with toys and plugs and gently and slowly build up endurance and size then when the actual anal sex happens it can be an amazing experience on both ends. Like I already said, weeks or months, not necessarily hours or days. When you work together on accomplishing something like that and you ensure that the submissive partner feels safe and cared for then will often times push themselves further than you imagined they could. This is the sort of thing that I'm looking for. This is the kind of dynamic I want to find with a submissive woman, because when you build things up the right way, they last much longer and they mean much more. So where are you young lady? I know you're out there somewhere. I just have yet to find you. When I do, I very much look forward to the training.

Finally re-dyed my hair for the first time in six months.  Made a mess of it, all over me, but the colors are better than i could have hoped for.   Unfortunately it did not help my mental state at all, which was what i was most hoping for.  But at least now i can get my new driver's license and have pretty colored hairs in my picture. Daddy has been so patienct with my mental state, or lack thereof, and i need to find a way to make it up to Him.  How he deals with me i will never know, but i am beyond thankful. This week also started our doctor appointments...hopefully we are able to start the disability process for Him quickly so that we have a dual income again.  And i know He hates not being able to contribute financially due to His health.  The doctor told Him that although He is only 41, He has to consider Himself 75 physically, and that is a tough pill to swallow.   For me i'm sure they will try and give me medications again, and i'll accept it for my blood pressue as it is beyonf sky-high but other than that i prefer not to take anything....i would rather allow my body to heal itself....even if it is really bad at doing so...

So I suppose I should expand upon what we are seeking so as not to waste anyone's time. I am absolutely not a Dom or even a switch, not really. Not in kink and not in life. But I am looking for a submissive. Who will let me have my way with them like a spoiled child. I want someone so wrapped around my fingers that even though there really aren't any consequences I can give them, and that even though they could over power me or outsmart me they choose not to they choose every second of their submission wholely over and over again. No matter what I am doing to them they choose me as their princess. A submissive daddy type if you will. And daddys arent controlled with fear and pain and neglect but with love and attention and sweet words...and other tantalizing treats.    I feel this is the type of relationship Westley and Buttercup had. Lol.    Ok I am sure I have done a not so stellar job explaining this but hopefully a bit better then before.    Be well everyone.   As always curious friends are always welcome as well.

Being a Dominant is not like the military where rank assumes obedience. The “rank” of Dominant or Master is not assumed by the Dominant but bestowed by a submissive. This is important because it cuts to the heart of why a Dominant has the authority to give “orders” in the first place. A Dom only has power because he has been granted that power by the submissive. And a submissive grants that power to someone he respects, trusts, desires, and believes has his best interests at heart. He grants it to someone with whom he feels completely safe and protected. So yes, I as a Dominant do in fact give orders. But my orders are not simply motivated by desire for blind obedience but are often targeted at a higher purpose. Sure, often they are for my personal pleasure. But they are also designed to instill knowledge, establish norms of behavior, set expectations for performance, and above all, challenge my sub to be the best person he can possibly be both in and outside our relationship. They are also designed to similarly challenge me. I always strive to be a better person, a better partner, a better Dominant, and have our mutual interests always at heart. Being a Dominant is less about assuming authority than being a leader. A leader earns the right to lead. My sub gives me all the power I have as a Dominant. What I do with that power is up to me. But if I use it unwisely or selfishly, it will evaporate and my sub will opt to vote with his feet. D/s is, after all, a consensual agreement between two free persons and thus can be terminated when one or the other is not satisfied. D/s and even M/s are not true slavery, even when we choose to call it that. Ultimately, the submissive decides who will be his leader or if he will take on a leader at all. It is that decision that empowers the Dominant, and that decision is earned, not taken.

:'( :"""( :"( :""(  wish i had someone to be here care ease my pain a little comfort hold me something. so hurting down used cheated on lied to hurt never good enough so much bad in life and hurt

PROFILE UPDATE, JULY 2023:Looking for mentally and emotionally rich connections with intelligent, curious, playful people. Gender and/or location are not important to me, as long as there's chemistry.Online is essential, at least until a lot of trust is established.I'm educated, eloquent, and can write messages in (more than) full sentences. I adore getting to know people. Sharing fantasies, embarking on intimate explorations of our shadowy sides, learning what makes people tick, and pushing buttons.Kink-wise I enjoy the mental aspects over the physical: Power exchange, task-setting, humiliation, devotion, worship, chastity, teasing and denial, hypnosis, intoxication, psychological manipulation, magic and mindgames.Also up for making friends, casual chat, and mentorship. I'm very friendly and up for talking to anybody so feel free to say hi, whoever you might be.

So I begin this new year still seeking a sub who is sane and not so self-absorbed to believe that I would drop all that I am doing to cater to his fetish du jour. Why do guys think that I am going to stop what I am doing to peg them if I am not really into pegging anymore? Or that I want to spend hours talking to some dude 5 states away about it when they aren't here? I don't want to get into an internet thing with some dude I want to find someone who can actually play who is here not someone jacking off by themselves in their mother's basement or some dude sneaking away from the wife long enough to get hard so that he can finally fuck her so that she will shut up.  I think the hardest part of all of this is how I can't seem to find what it is that I thought would be fairly easy to find. A pretty guy who is sane enough to want to explore his bounderies and still be able to fuck. But that has proven to be rare enough. Meh. Maybe my need to actually like a sub is my problem. I am not into using people and I am not really into broken people so that leaves a lot of men on the table. And shit, let us not get started on the women.  I know we all have our baggage but don't bring that shit to the session. I am not a therapist or your mother. I just want to have fun too. And digging through your emotional shit is exhausting.   

Property.  Noun. 1. A thing or things belonging to someone; possessions collectively.  2. An attribute, quality, or characteristic of something.  I, am property. I don't always behave that way, but I should, because that is what I am. Master is a saint for how much patience he's had with me. Property doesn't have a say or an opinion. No voice, nothing. Change is not easy for me. To my brain it signals that there's a threat, danger, or that my world is going to be upended. I don't really know what to do with change, and abrupt change? Forget it. My brain either goes into full meltdown or fight mode. There is no in between. To be calm during changes means a meltdown later. Because I'm only calm outwardly. Inwardly I'm screaming for something to be the same, anything. Even a small thing. Master is that one thing. When my brain is screaming, he's there, steadfast and strong, unyielding and sure. I am his property. I don't get a say anymore. But I do get protection, care, and a Master who has always been there since day one. I'm property. A thing. His thing. Whenever, wherever, however he wants. His.  I am not looking for a response to this. I'm posting so that I can come back and read it when I need to. 

Scene Debriefing: The Conversation Too Many People Skip By T.L. Duncan When people think about a BDSM scene, they usually picture the negotiation beforehand, the scene itself, and perhaps the aftercare that follows. Those are all essential pieces of a healthy dynamic, and each deserves the attention it receives. But there is another part of the process that often gets overlooked. The conversation afterward. Not the quick "Are you okay?" while sharing a blanket. Not the casual "That was fun." I'm talking about a thoughtful discussion once everyone has had time to settle, reflect, and process what happened. This conversation is known as a scene debrief, and it may be one of the most valuable tools for building trust, improving communication, and strengthening future scenes. Whether you're new to BDSM or have years of experience, making time to debrief can change the way you approach your dynamic. What Is a Scene Debrief? A scene debrief is simply a conversation about the scene after it has ended. Unlike negotiation, which happens before play, a debrief looks backward rather than forward. Its purpose isn't to assign blame or critique performance. Instead, it gives everyone involved an opportunity to discuss what worked well, what didn't, what was learned, and what might be adjusted in the future. Think of it less as an evaluation and more as a conversation between partners who share the same goal: creating enjoyable, fulfilling, and safe experiences together. No one benefits from pretending every scene was perfect. Likewise, no one benefits from believing every small mistake means the scene failed. Growth happens somewhere in the middle. Why Debriefing Matters During a scene, your attention is focused on the present. Dominants are often balancing communication, safety, pacing, technique, and the emotional state of their partner. Submissives may be deeply immersed in the experience, focused on following instructions, processing sensations, or remaining mentally present. Neither person is analyzing every moment while it's happening. Adrenaline, endorphins, excitement, and emotional intensity can make it difficult to fully recognize what you're experiencing until afterward. A scene debrief allows everyone to slow down. Sometimes you'll discover that your favorite moment wasn't the one you expected. Sometimes you'll realize a particular technique didn't produce the desired response. Sometimes you'll discover that something you worried about wasn't an issue at all. Every one of those discoveries becomes valuable information for your next scene. Aftercare and Debriefing Are Not the Same Thing Many people confuse aftercare with debriefing, but they serve different purposes. Aftercare focuses on recovery. It helps partners transition out of the emotional and physical intensity of a scene. That may involve cuddling, water, food, blankets, reassurance, quiet conversation, or simply sitting together while emotions settle. A debrief happens after everyone has regained their footing. Some couples naturally begin discussing the scene during aftercare. Others find they communicate more clearly the next morning after a full night's sleep. Neither approach is wrong. The important part is recognizing that emotional recovery and thoughtful reflection are different conversations. One nurtures the body and emotions. The other strengthens communication. Questions That Lead to Better Scenes A productive debrief doesn't require a checklist, but asking thoughtful questions can keep the conversation focused. Consider discussing topics such as: Which part of the scene felt the most enjoyable? Did anything surprise you? Was there a moment when communication could have been clearer? Did anything become uncomfortable sooner than expected? Did you feel safe throughout the scene? Was the pacing too fast, too slow, or just right? Did aftercare meet your needs? Is there something you'd like to experience differently next time? Notice that these questions are open-ended. They're invitations to share experiences, not opportunities to defend decisions. Sometimes the answers will confirm that everything went exactly as planned. Other times they may reveal something neither partner noticed during the scene itself. Both outcomes are equally valuable. Feedback Is Not Failure One of the biggest obstacles to meaningful debriefing is the fear that constructive feedback means someone did something wrong. It doesn't. Every skill improves through communication. No one expaspects a musician to stop practicing after one successful performance. No one expaspects an athlete to stop reviewing their technique after winning a competition. Healthy BDSM relationships are no different. Receiving feedback doesn't diminish your abilities. It expands them. Likewise, offering honest feedback isn't criticism when it's given respectfully. Saying, "I think I needed more reassurance afterward," isn't an accusation. Saying, "That restraint became uncomfortable after a while," isn't placing blame. It's sharing information that allows both partners to make future scenes even better. The strongest dynamics are built by people who remain curious rather than defensive. A Word for Dominants Many Dominants invest considerable time planning a scene. They research techniques. They prepare equipment. They think through pacing, safety, atmosphere, and emotional progression. Once the scene begins, they're often responsible for monitoring both the practical and emotiona

Before you can be taught, you have to know what classes interest you to attend.  But that's not submission, I hear you ignorantly complain. No, but most of you don't understand the difference between being submissive and being A submissive. Most of you try and convince the world you are the latter whereas you are barely the former.  Nosce te ipsum, is the first order of any day. Youre not qualified to know anyone else before you get to know yourself. Life becomes a series of dead-ends and u-turns unless you know where youre heading. Understand this - there is nothing wrong with not knowing, there is nothing wrong with asking and there is glory and purpose is learning. Act accordingly, before that laundry list of expectations and demands that you carry becomes nothing more than a shield against actually experiencing anything. And to those desparing of finding their place and purpose, remember that when you're falling out of the tree, any branch you can grab before hitting the ground is a blessing and should be appreciated. Even if it's not where you want to be, its better than the thud at the end of a drop. There is precious little enough joy in this world these days that any of us should spurn the chance to feel some when the possibility presents itself. Here endeth the lesson.

The intent of the submissive makes the difference in how their submission is received.     In order to be considered submissive, the action must have intent by the submissive and be received as submission by me.  What is the intent of the offer? his or Mine? Is the offer of submission on condition of what he gets out of it?     It's funny how that works when the Domiant considers what is offered. Does it serve the Dominant?     If what is being offered is not what I want or desire or makes me all warm and fuzzy, I don't consider it submissive.  Just because the general populous believes "doing the act" is submissive does not mean I accept it as submissive.     I do not consider any sexual act offered to be submissive. Some Dominants do, but it's truly an individual choice.     I see submission as intent, obedience, and devotion. 

If these words resonate, reach out.   I’m seeking a kindred spirit—relaxed, creative, and adventurous—someone drawn to trust, curiosity, and the possibility of a long-term D/s dynamic that grows from genuine connection.   I’m contemplative and sometimes quiet, always seeking balance in mind, body, and spirit. I find joy in laughter, art, books, good food, and music. Creativity moves through my days, whether I’m solving a problem, writing something small, or savoring stillness.   Nature centers me. I live on four acres in southern Arizona, nurturing a young permaculture forest through rainwater harvesting. I hope to meet someone who loves the land, appreciates regenerative living, and feels at ease in a semi-rural rhythm. I wander deserts and mountains, enjoy festivals and flea markets, and cherish quiet nights by the fire or beneath the stars.   I believe physical sensation can open deeper truths—where curiosity meets intention and transformation begins. In partnership, I care for emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being as one woven whole.   In D/s, submission is trust and intentional surrender and control is earned not taken. I’m drawn to someone self-aware, resilient, and grounded—someone who can lean into guidance while keeping a strong sense of self. Honest dialogue and mutual growth matter to me.   I envision a disciplined relationship where structure supports your evolution, where I take daily direction seriously and help you rise to your best self. This dynamic thrives with someone who craves clarity, consistency, and meaningful standards.