The power of submission cannot be denied. In the end it’s really all about the depth of mental connection.

drama at home :( mom turned her back on me and gave me an outcasted look earlier today all for her hubbys aproval... however i know shell do anything in the world to give my little brother a "fauther" exp. even it mean Xing me...  in the end i cant hate her for what shes doing but dang .... talk about a shotgun round to the heart :(    big empty hole needs to be filled .... lol get it.    im very loyal and honest to the bone probably the nicest person youll ever encounter however dont get misslead ... i totally love to push my envolope and live life on the edge... ive expirienced and expiriemented with a lot in my opinion ... please dont ask... "" what kinda exp do you have -_____-"" just fill in the blanks as we conversate ... ... im ALL go with the flow so more then likey i dont know what im doing next week so idk if id be available or intrested in meeting you.. i know im not always on here but im ready for my next chapter and willing to give a special someone all of me to mold into their perfect being :)note im intrested in heading out to Texas, NY or socal(home) however not a deal breaker im just as intrested in nearly anywhere on the east or west COST!! more inland .... ehhh but will consider of course :) if your intrested drop a message anyone who takes a chance on me wont be disappointed. oh ps.. NO Flakes and for gods sake picture please .... 

I have been getting a lot of emails asking to hear from my husband M. He sometimes signs on here and speaks with those who write me. So, I asked him to write a little report about something meaningful that happened to him lately. This is what he produced.    This afternoon, I happened to be in my room (dressed in regular clothes minus pants) when K came in unexpectedly, wearing a sexy, silky, blue push-up bra, red ruffled panties, and her strappy white 5" heels. It was just prior to the 4th of July and this was supposed to be her holiday-appropriate outfit for her boyfriend.  Seeing that she had gotten dressed up for her boyfriend, I knew what was coming; in this house, when K gets dressed up in something sexy, I know I will be getting dressed up in the printed ABDL diapers instead of my typical white ones. Sure enough, after rummaging through my closet, she picked out a white and baby blue trimmed t-shirt that she then put over head after telling me to raise my arms. "Isn't that cute," she remarked with a pleasant but rather condescending tone. She really likes this shirt because it stops and my waist.  This was followed by telling me to lay down for a change from my usual plain white diapers to my thick printed diapers. It was a quick change, all business, she ignored my caged penis as usual other than dusting it with powder. As she stood me up and checked the tapes, I caught my reflection in the full length mirror that hangs on the back of my door. I felt so humiliated, the smell of pee-soaked diapers coming from the diaper pail in the corner mixed with the constant aroma of baby powder filling my nose as she dressed me like a toddler, knowing she was about to have wild sex in the other room--something I would be excluded from, as usual. "You look amazing, K. I can't believe what that bra does to your boobs." I complimented her. "Thanks baby, too bad they're not for you," she told me, cupping her big breasts in her hands to emphasize her point  with a little giggle and I felt my little penis straining in my chastity device. "But I could try again if you'd let me," I said, trying not to sound too desperate. "M, how long are you going to continue asking?", she said dismissing me, "I don't even understand why you ask at all. We already came to an understanding a long time ago now didn't we? Has anything changed? will it ever change?" I blushed at the memory and meekly replied, "No." She was right of course. When I think about the conversation we had the night she told me we'd never have sex again, I know that I accepted our new arrangement. It's just that I guess I haven't got out of the habit of trying.  Turning me around, she gave me a firm pat on my diapered bottom and strode out of the room. Looking in the mirror on the back of my door again as she closed it, I again blushed with shame. About a half hour later, I heard the knock and K answering the door. I stayed in my room, working on the computer listening to them chatting at first but then walking down the hall past my bedroom into hers. They had been in there with the door closed for about 20 minutes when I heard... "M, come in here." I walked in with a little waddle and an audible crinkle, to see her bent over her boyfriend who was lying on top of the master bed. She was deepthroating his big cock and I stared in mesmerized silence, watching the thick, slippery shaft disappear into her wet, eager mouth and throat.Some secret part of me wondered less how it would feel to have that done to me and more how it would feel in my own mouth. Swallowing hard, I instinctively put a hand on the front of my soft, cushiony diapers. I just stood there watching for what seemed like eternity ignored by both K and John, but in reality was probably no more than 5 minutes. Finally, with a wave of her hand, she dismissed me, sending me back to my room, or anywhere really, just not with them. Before long, the sounds of their enthusiastic lovemaking filled the house and I listened with rapt attention. Looking at my humiliating reflection in the mirror, I blushed with shame at my pathetic image. Both of them saw me as nothing but a complete submissive, that would never change. My cheeks flushed with humiliation at the thought and I rubbed the front of my diapers all the more frantically as I took in my reflection. The short shirt, the print on the diaper that was starting to fade from the wetness after two accidents, the outline of my cage on the plastic shell. I was in frantic need of an orgasm, but because of the cage, there was little effect. Feeling sexually frustrated and wanting more, I went to my dresser and grabbed my favorite jelly buttplug--the big clear one, which I rubbed down with the baby oil K sometimes uses during diaper changes. Pulling the back of my diapers down, I could hear K moaning in the other room and her boyfriend's subtle grunting as I began pushing the fat buttplug into my eager hole. I can barely handle the width of this plug, especially at first, and I moaned with a mixture of discomfort and angst. I couldn't get it in standing and dropped to all fours. At last, it slipped inside me and I exhaled in relief. Nevertheless, as I pulled my diapers back up and sat down in front of the mirror and soon began to savor the feeling of rubbery fullness filling my back passage. M was getting what she needed and I was getting as best I could.  I don't even know how long I had been sitting there grinding, which so far had only resulted in further desire when M staggered back into my room and right up in front of where I sat. I sat there frozen as she lightly guided her fingers between her legs then told me to stick out my tongue. I crawled to her, inhaling her amazing scent, caressed her legs as I plunged my face between her legs and she let her boyfriend's creamy cum drip onto my outstretched tongue. "I'm dripping baby boy, clean me up please" she said with a smug grin and stood now with her feet shoulder width apart.I couldn't help but hurriedly press my face into her body. I could smell the result of their lovemaking as another man's sperm completely coated my tongue while I cleaned her with my mouth. Some even dribbled down to land on the chest of my infantile t-shirt. Suddenly, to my surprise, she stood me up and pulled me with the waistband of my diaper to the chair in the corner of my room where she took a seat and I stood in front of her. She abruptly pulled my diapers down. I whimpered with fear as she bent me over her lap, selecting the wooden paddle on my dresser. Feeling the cool air on damp bare bottom, I squirmed knowing I wasn't going to like what was about to happen. "You will not ask for sex again", she quipped as she brought the paddle down across both my soft, tender cheeks pushing the plug into me. "I'm so sorry" I managed to get out between the 3rd and 4th smack. I cried miserably, occasionally glancing over at my humiliating reflection in the mirror. There could be no doubt who sat at the bottom of the social ladder in this house--that was for sure! At last she finished, and after setting the paddle down, she left closing the door. Leaving me to pull my diapers back up for myself.   Sigh...just another day's activities at my house...

Hey Mistress **I am not your Mistress** Sorry hello Ma'am how are you, Will you do to me the things you do? Whips and Canes and all that stuff, I have "sub" frenzy and can't get enough, Yes I will say all the right things but never do them true, I am a shadow wanker and cum while messaging you. **No I won't, you ignored my needs, Didn't read my profile or even glance through my feed, So my needs have zero to do with what you seek, Pushing yourself first and certainly not meek,* Oh Ma'am your voice makes my knees go weak, (In boy speak damn I hope my load is expelled before she peaks) So off he went that newbie quick, without a clue on how to be mine he was such a dick, Yes we know it happens but 4 in one day, The shadow wanker news must be actively pushing my name. Obedience to me is what I like, Some laughter and a bare derriere in sight, A man who asks my consent, Before he wanks and becomes spent, Then in a restaurant a respectful man, Simping on me doing all he can, Hanging up my coat & pulling out my chair, Fetching all I need his excellent manners beyond compare, No age doesn't always develop better, Self-aware submission daily melts his mind to fetter, Only offer what you can do for me, Servant, sweetheart long term be, Fetter and bind that will to me, So he begs never to be free.

By believing that submission must be pursued, to any degree, is to reframe dominance and submission as a typical relationship and its not. Dominance doesnt pursue. Submission doesnt need to be pursued. Submission comes to dominance in this dynamic. It has to. Submission is given, won over even, but the same goes for dominance. As much as she must be convinced by his dominance, he must believe her submission meets his needs or can be molded to do so. What remains is the initial approach, and it is simply ego on the part of the submissive to believe what she offers is more important, more valuable and harder to come by, than what he offers. Consider how many suitors a submissive no doubt has flood her inbox here, how many obvious frauds, bullshit artists, misogynists, egotists etc that she has cast a dismissive eye over. What happens if/when you find one that calls to you? Will you wait in the hope or expectation he will approach, or will you decide to present to him? Of course, this probably explains why the place by my side is empty and I have to fetch my own pipe and slippers. Such is life.

A young woman asked me a question about posturing I will share my view on that subject as there is so much of it on lifestyle sites and I feel most of it is pure bull shit. There was a time, when, how lifestyle folks presented themselves in public and in private, told who they were. It was far more subtle. Subs and slaves did not announce who they were and dominants did not have to call themselves owners or dominants or masters because both sides looked for those tell tale signs and vice versa. You could walk into a room filled with vanilla folks and pick out who was in command and who was subservient and who the clueless were. A submissive would make less eye contact in public seem more shy, talk less or only when spoken to. More dominant types were bolder, asked the questions, initiated the conversations and so on. You knew by their "presence" who they were, not by their words or self given titles. Lifestyle folks looked for such things and recognized each other, were drawn to each other. The advent of the internet and sites like this and others, produced a bunch of wannabe owners and dominants who posture and preen and say "I am" when they are not. You will see a 20 something male, working at McDonald's and living in a walk up rental, calling himself Master and demanding that women bow to him. He has an old beater car, no savings, no future, he has not even began to master his own life. Now he claims he can be master of a sub or slave. These are the people who demand a sub "posture" for him and demand the sub call him sir or master. It's his ego speaking, not his dominance or mastery of anything. We married in the early 70's as a natural dominant and natural submissive but those words were never spoken for at least 20 years. Married in 71 but it took me until 86 to even begin to master my life. In 86 I walked away from a high paying factory job and created my first major business, an auction house. That began a lifetime of building businesses, getting them up to profitability and then selling them. Even then, I never once called myself a Master. We opened the marriage to others from time to time and it was always her seeking a dominant type and myself seeking a submissive type. We could do so because we were secure in who we were, who we each belonged to. I played with a submissive on and off for few years who called me "Mister B" but she always made it a joke, a way of poking fun at me. She would say it with emphasis on the Mister and then she would laugh at me. She was secure in who she was and knew that I was as well. Among the very best of submissives that I ever played with in those years, was a woman who was in upper management of a major corporation. At work they called her the dragon lady and people were actually afraid of her because she could make or break a career. She called me "Donkey" from the movie Shrek and she claimed she was my dragon. She served me with her entire being. It is not about posture or titles, it is about who we are and how we are, that makes us owners or dominants, subs or slaves. Don't buy into the hype, the hype is bull shit. Look at who they are, what they have accomplished. Look at how they help those around themselves. In the words of Mohamed Ali, an ultimate Master, "look at how they treat those who can not benefit them in any way". If they treat the waiter poorly, run. A true master protects, builds up those around themselves, looks to help the less fortunate, looks to promote others to be all they can be and does not say worship me. A master is. They are not someone who calls themselves as such. A sub or slave, looks for such people and wants to help them by combining their power with the power of the owner or dominant or master. I seek to serve nature as her sub/slave. She is far greater than myself, a worthy mistress with no ego. By doing so, I gain as well. I seek those who feel that is something worthy of doing and want to add their power to my own. I say openly that by myself, I am not enough, that I need your power added to my own. Even then, I fully understand that we will not be enough but we can make some small difference. If you feel a need to serve such a man, I would humbly welcome your support. Then, in the future and only if you feel that I have proven to you, that I am worthy to be called your owner or dominant or master, I will be thankful and we will continue the work together.  

I think it is easily possible that single dominant people are seen as inflexible and unyieldimg.  Set in their ways.  My way or the highway.  My interests are now your interests and there is nothing else to be said on the matter. I suppose that could be true for some people.  It is NOT true for me.  I was an only child, more or less, and as far as I can tell that is still true.  Due to reasons I will gladly discuss with individuals inquisitive enough to really want to know, I was a bit of a loner growing up.  That didn't bother me, and it still doesn't. Fast forward a thousand years and as a single person I live my life the way I see fit and do what interests me.  Having said that, I am here to meet people and develop relationships.  As I look around the CS landscape I suspect the same is true of most of you.  Being in a relationship and being single are two completely different things.  Within the framework of my relationship I expect to be dominant, but that does not mean that I expect to carry my single life along with me.  Good relationships are good because there is at least some level of learning of the other person, and compromise when it seems to be practical.   I would ask that people who look at profiles and interest lists and try to assume that the square peg is always going to be a square peg and will never be able to fit into a round hole to look in the mirror and ask themselves if that is even a safe assumption of themselves.

Reason vs Emotion Many answer My profile with uncertainty about what and who they are. A few have even suggested (demanded, can you believe?) I kidnap them, confine them, torture them until (guess what?) they become what they actually need to be: a total slave.  More frequently, the neophyte slave wants Me to convince their reasoning self that they actually need to be what their emotional inborn self wants and needs. Engaging in dialog with this group leads to exhaustion on My part and ultimate discovery by the struggling slave that “we do not fit” or “it can not quite give up its current existence.” They are trapped in their own internal conflict that I would be hard pressed resolve for them.  On the continuum of living the reality and harboring dreams, fantasies and in born desire those described above are in the middle. Probably, as might well be depicted under a bell curve, that would be the 80% occupying the center range. My guess is about 10% of those with inborn need to submit will live their lives, probably with nagging discontent and frustration, without ever confronting that need. It is the last 10% of the population that I want to find. This last little group are slaves that have accepted what they are. Most likely, if they think about why they are what they are, they will consider themselves ‘born slave.’ Probably only 5% of that 10% will successfully arrive for my inspection. So, in terms of what I do here, the slave the responding to My profile should not expect chat or kidnapping. But rather, be prepared to sacrifice enough to travel to Me for the possible start of a lifetime of what they were born to do: service.

Recently I've been having some fun on another site that specializes in Doms keeping subs in chastity. So last night I had this one guy... mid 30s... glasses.. looks like a real computer nerd approach me. I was not going to give him the time of the day and I sensed he was going to be a bit of a brat. But he begged, begged and pleaded. Eventually after a lot of negotiating and exchanging some links I agreed to put his dumb ass in chastity for a simple 2 hr lock. Guess how many times he messged me begging to be released during that 2 hour  span of time. 37x. I can't make this shit up even if I tried lol.  So naturally when I returned to the site after getting dolled up for the day I see the messages. And I'm pissed. Becuase I specifically told him to sit his ass in the corner with his cage on and butt plug in and wait for me to return. He got called every name after the sun which I'm sure he enjoyed and I extended the timer for the rest of the day. I also have access to his dildo machine via lovesense and let's just say today he could barely sit down without a pillow. He thanked me this morning :) he loved it. 

One of the advantages of being older is that you learn what is realistic for a lifestyle and what isn't - what exists only in the realm of fantasy. The various profiles you read of "...wanting to be locked in a dungeon 24/7..." just aren't realistic.But… when you make someone whom (or what) they have always dreamed of being, it’s an emotional experience for both of you, almost intoxicating. So how can you make this work? In my arena of the lifestyle - transforming someone into a rubber or rubber doll 24/7 isn't realistic. You can however try and set up your lifestyle so that the experience feels like 24/7. The following works for a latex lifestyle: I would come home from work and go into a spare room and change into rubber. My slave would already be waiting for me in another room, hooded. The first time I saw her after work she would be hooded. The first time she saw me after I got home, I too would also be hooded.The next day, before I left for work, I would change into work clothes without her seeing me. That way, we went several days without seeing each others faces, only hooded. For two people who found being around other humans awkward, this truly was a moment of emotional freedom. I have tried this and it worked (wonderfully!), up to a point. But that topic - when things didn’t work out perfectly - is the subject for another post.

I said it and say it again, one must love these str8 males. I say that because there's one moment when finally a str8 male surrenders to a better male and offers his most intimate possession, his hole. It takes considerable time to enter such a space (you want him to come for more) but there is magic in that first entry. The man is nervous for several reasons: first time being entered, societal prohinotions, the realization that even if he doesn't do it again he allowed another male to deflowering him. Most times they reach for their penis as if to make sure it is still there. He is bewildered and with good reason, a new reality is dawning and there is no turning back. the most important moment is not the deflowering that is for me to enjoy and savor; tight, warm, and spasming. Pain, and pleasure begin a dance that takes over the whole body. I you know how to use your rod you will be assaulting the prostate and a new level is reached. All this is your reward as a bull, you worked for that but the str8 male is still hanging to whatever small idea of being str8 he possess. The reckoning comes when you let him turn, place on all four and you enter. He cannot see you, hewants to be a witness to his new reality but the only thing he can do is to grab his dick again. However, once you break in he will stret his arms and back, he has being invaded. That is still the str8 male attempting to show power and control. He wants to communicate the fact that he is still the stallion he thought he was. Yet if you know what you are doing and the assault continues on once he realizes his new role he collapses his body and embraces the bed in which his Top masculinity is destroyed. That collapse is key, his upper body flat on the bed, arms stretched, head on the side and yes closed with an open mouth uttering a silent moan. That is the moment you have conquered him, he is yours and you are his man. 

You come to my apartment with flowers, a bouquet of roses, baby's breath, snapdragons, alstroemeria. I invite you in, and make no apologies for what will happen to you. You are already trembling, skin warm but the sensation like a cool breeze as I circle you, eyeing you up and down.    I give you a glass of water, I ask, "Ready?"   And you answer, "Yes Goddess."   I nod.   I come home.   You are punished. Daily. Thoroughly. A lash for every sin against me or the others. I watch you bleed. I clean your back, smiling at every wince.   Your family doesn't understand, and I rub their noses in it. I punish them, too, for their part in your deceit. They made you monstrous and in need of training from a firm hand. They will never again poison the well. No one will. You are MINE. My influence is the only thing of consequence.    I will lead my horse to drink, and you will swallow every bitter drop.   I want to come home, to let my sludge of a soul slide down your throat, to watch you choke, to watch you squirm.   I want my curse to leave my fingertips, and travel inches instead of miles.   You will suffer and I will seethe and it will be beautiful, because that's all the hope I have left.   You will crawl on your knees, and learn your place on collared lead, you will feel every second of the earth's contact on your broken vessel.   You dare to defy, and I dare to ask you back for recompense.   I spit in your eye, while you pray for more.   Have you forgotten that it was you who made my altar, and it is your blood that I crave - it is you who created this mess.   It was you, it is you, always you.   My throne awaits, and calls for me.  

why do people play these stupid games... I thought I had an interested (local) sub that wanted my ideal D/s relationship... well... he decided he's "...too pretty to be a sub, and wants to go to California to get with a modeling agency..." I didn't tell him that I used to model and stilll have connections... why should I? I thanked him for leading me on and blocked him on all media... Okay that's over... was back at the gym today for the first time in a bit, lot's going on and been sick so BOO!!!!! Did dead lifts for the first time in a long time (maybe 2-3 months?) 235 pound, 5 reps... not bad still not back up to my record but not bad! Left the gym, went to the grocery store (I see enchiladas in my future...) and came home only to find myself bored... I made my drag performer friend a mix, then decided today was a good day to make BBQ Sauce... oooops... 3 kinds... BBQ, Sweet & Spicy, and Hot... my son came by as I was just starting so I had him help... he's jealous that he can't take any home with him... oh well... time to find my next project... maybe I'll go out back and get that firepit started...

Imagine yourself in a room with the one you care deeply about and trust completely.  He asks you to stand up, put your hands by your side and to close your eyes. He gives you a kiss on the forehead and asks you to do exactly what he says and only what he says.   Wanting to be a good girl you politely agree.  A little kiss on the cheek and you feel him gently unbuttoning your shirt ever so carefully to not touch your skin.  He walks around behind you and slowly pulls your shirt off while a single finger caresses all the way down your back as he tosses your shirt down. Once the shirt lands on the floor his hands are placed on your hips, both his hands go slowly up your arms and at the elbows they come together in between your shoulder blades. You can feel his warm hands unlatching your bra strap and suddenly the twins are free from their restraints. Your body begins to tingle and your blood starts to flow anticipating his hands cupping your awaiting breasts.  He denies you of his touch when you feel his hands in the small of your back. He gets closer and gives you another little kiss on your neck.  His hands then follow just above your pants line to the front and you feel a gentle bear hug with his skin pressing up against your back. Suddenly you realize his hands have made it to your belly button and started to move back to your pants line.  He holds you tight to his body and demands you kick off your shoes. You quickly comply and they go flying across the living room.      With your heart racing and the tingling going all the way to your toes he unbuttons your jeans and pulls them ever so slowly down to your ankles.  His hands occasionally brushing down the outside of your legs.  With your eyes still closed you sense him moving around front.  He calls you his good little girl and gives you a passionate kiss on the lips.  Just as quickly as it began he stops, making you yearn for more. He leans in and you feel his warm tongue placed on the front of your neck, his tongue proceeds down your chest right between the twins and continues to your belly button but stops short. Your nipples now hard as a diamonds feel deprived because they got ignored.

There are parts of a person that don’t begin at the moment two people meet. They begin long before, in the quiet places where experience shapes us and then gets sealed away. Long before I met her, I had lived through something that awakened a deep part of me — a capacity for intensity, recognition, and emotional clarity that rarely finds a home. And she had lived through her own version of that. For different reasons, both of us buried that part of ourselves. She buried hers out of fear - fear of instability, fear of loss, fear of needing someone, fear of being seen too clearly. I buried mine out of discipline - a deliberate containment, a way of protecting others from the full force of what I feel and protecting myself from offering it where it cannot be held. Different histories, different wounds, same instinct: suppress what once burned too brightly When we met, that buried part in both of us stirred. Not because we created something new, but because we recognised something familiar. The connection wasn’t imagined. It wasn’t accidental. It was the reawakening of something each of us had sealed away. In the moments when she felt safe, she softened, revealing warmth, intuition, and depth she rarely allowed to surface. And in response, I became the version of myself that feels most grounded, steady, and alive. I understood the sandcastle she lived in. I saw her protective walls. Not as flaws, but as architecture - structures and anchors that kept her upright when life gave her no stability. I understood why trusting one person felt like stepping into open air. I understood why she stayed in the present, why she avoided looking ahead, why she protected herself even from what she wanted. I saw the logic in it. I saw the cost of it too. It is heartbreaking to see how someone can be hurt so deeply, so repeatedly, that they retreat into a world made of compartments. A world where adult emotional connection feels dangerous, where closeness carries the risk of being wounded again. And so she anchored herself to the one place that felt safe: the innocence of a child who had never betrayed her. The child of the man who had most recently broken her trust became, in a way, the last untouched corner of her emotional world. Maybe she saw a younger version of herself there. Maybe she stayed close to that child because it allowed her to protect something pure in a way no one ever protected her. Whatever the reason, it is unbearably sad that the safest place she could find was one that existed outside the realm of adult connection entirely. I understood how it was easier to feel when it was transactional, triggered by someone else and emotionally outside her control. What I felt for her was not fantasy. It was recognition. I cared for her deeply, and I would have treasured her - not by holding her tightly, but by creating a space where she could breathe without fear, where the sparks I glimpsed in her unguarded moments could grow into something steady. I never wanted to reshape her. I wanted to offer a place where she could rest without bracing for impact. It hurt that she couldn't understand my deep need to care; that she could and did give herself to another physically, to a sadist, when she couldn't accept my care or give herself physically to me. And I never believed it would be easy or instantaneous. I knew that being together would require patience, courage, and the slow dismantling of old defences. I knew it would demand effort from both of us. But the difficulty didn’t deter me - it clarified me. It strengthened my resolve. It deepened my desire to care, not out of saviourhood or fantasy, but because I saw what was possible if she ever chose to step toward it. But the truth is simple: the part of her that woke up when we met is the same part she has spent years learning to silence. Stepping toward what she felt would have required dismantling the very defences that keep her functioning. She retreated not because she felt nothing, but because she felt too much. I stepped toward it because I was ready. That difference is the whole story. So I release this into the ether - not to change her, not to call her back, not to craft something optimised for her reception or softened for her comfort. I have written carefully, yes, but this is not for her. This is for me. This is where I place the truth so I no longer have to carry it alone. We both knew. We both felt it. We both buried it for our own reasons. Meeting each other unlocked it again. She ran from it. I stepped toward it. And now I name it so it no longer lives unspoken. Whatever she chooses, whatever she fears, whatever she cannot yet face, I hold no anger. Only the quiet truth of what was possible, and the peace that comes from finally giving these words a place to live outside my own mind.

Goddess' appetite is insatiable.  No matter the number of slaves Goddess owns She always wants more. Those who wish to experience My Glory here should approach and find themselves fulfilled in worshipping Me. Until then, Goddess shares Her Dreams. Fifty new girls, all beautiful and complete, were collected for a ritual.  All to begin their life in eternity as Goddess' slaves.  The ritual a conpetiton.  Goddess sits upon Her Throne, radiant.  In purple leather boots with straps and buckles and heels, purple leather calf length dress worn black stitching, animating venomous creatures that are My pets.  And a black corset highlighting My FigUte. The initiates were given little guidance.  Do not wear leather.  Do not wear black or purple, except if in rainbow.  Do not wear boots.  Otherwise dress in a way that reflaspects your submissiveness and in a way to please Me, which are quite varied.  Each initiate approaches on her own, first crawling, head low and unable to see Me.  Then when told to stand, to be inspected.  Ogled.  Desired.  to walk slowly to My Boot and show devotion with a heartfelt prayer of thanks.  And then to be settled on My Lap, to make out for 90 seconds.  Such joy for the initiates to be used. each is graded on their drEd's, approach, prayer, and kiss.  A lesser goddess would surrender to lust and orgasm after four or five sessions.  For Goddess it is but foreplay.  Building My Inevitable and Insurmoutable Love.  All fifty are broughy, kneeling, relaxed.  Hopeful to be the one chosen to warm My Bed.  My wife on a leash at My side.  No trace of jealousy.  Joyful that I take joy in cucking her in adding lovers.  she sets the example for all to follow. My Boots echo across the stone floor as I walk amongst you.  All heads bowed.  A few I touch.  On the neck.  Or hair.  or breast.  Since you are Mine, Intouch asI wish.  And you touch Me, even see My delicate painted toes, only when I allow.  It oleassMe how many quiver as My fingers trace patterns of joy on your bodies. inneach hand a marble is placed.  Unseen.  then as I sit on My Throne yet again, palms are open.  44 black marbles.  One pinis  four red.  One purple. i call the girl with the purple one to My Side and affix a purple leather collar, diamonds spelling out beauty, on her neck.  She is the one chosen.  No one is disappointed.  All pleased their sister gets to bring Me sexual pleasure. but Goddess is greedy. one girl is never enough.  My wife places red collars on four necks.  Gives each a kiss.  They too will come to MyBed.  But first, they will take 11 girls each and lock in black steel.  Confined for the night.  Able on to hear My Pleasure from the next room.  Each are kissedso they learn what others have done to please Me so that they might improve.  They are told nothing about whether they can oleasure themselves, though their hands are bound, during the night, except that the Will report 0,1, or more than 1.  The girl in pink is told to monitor their safety during the night. She had the lowest score, and so has the most menial tasks.  But a task of joy in service to Me none the less. whole the girls with black were being confined, Goddess took the chosen to her bed, and went down on her.  For Goddess loves the thrill of discovering your body.  Making it sing for Me. When the other four come, the room is alive with passion.  All must fill Mine until I am spent. Five new lovers.  In the morning a tangle of limbs.  Exhausted.  Content.  Then shown by My wife to their new room they will share, sisters.  A final step for the other forty five.  Each black collared slave girl is given a soft kiss, told their new role as maid or chauffeur.  Each is asked for their number, 0, 1, 1+.  Each answer is stored and welcomed.  A tool to help Me shape and mold.  Then the pink collared slave is fucked in front of them all, to show that even she has value, sexuality.  There is no chastity here. it matters not to Me whether you ire to be a cherished lover, wearing a purple collar, an occasional bed made, wearing red, a servant wearing black, or a caretaker of slaves wearing pink.  All have value to Me.  All are beautiful to Me. lexi and demon will wear purple for sure.  Others have earned red.  Some have chosen black, which pleases Me. Worshup.  Be the best you can be.  Shower Me and lavish Me woth attention. Confess to Me your greatest desires and fears and hopes and dreams and let Me share them with you.  Give Me your sexuality to play with, holding and releasing at My Will.  Find your color in My Realm.  ire to the heights that you wish for.  There is no shame on wanting any of the colors.  For you are all beautiful  There is one more.  Gold.  Goddess will in time have more than one wife.  I cannot wait to give out the second, though it may not be in this mortal realm.

Even at my age, I seem to be surrounded by players. One would think maturity might thin the herd, but no—apparently nonsense has no age limit. Be it any website, platform, or so-called “community,” they’re all there, lined up confidently with impressive titles and very little substance. Everyone is a “Master” now. Capital M, of course. Profiles full of rules, expectations, and declarations of authority, yet curiously light on patience, consistency, or basic courtesy. It’s rather like browsing for a decent cup of tea and being offered only energy drinks. Loud, stimulating, and ultimately unsatisfying. What I notice most is the hurry. The rush to claim ownership, demand obedience, or shortcut trust. It’s all very enthusiastic, but enthusiasm without discipline is just noise. A proper Master, I’ve learned, doesn’t need to announce himself repeatedly. He shows up, stays present, and understands that submission isn’t collected like badges. There’s also a particular type who mistakes control for confidence and silence for depth. They talk endlessly about what they want, rarely about what they can hold. When questions arise—real ones about boundaries, stability, or responsibility—they tend to vanish faster than manners at a buffet. Still, I find myself more amused than discouraged. Experience has sharpened my eye. I know the difference between someone performing a role and someone capable of carrying one. If that means more waiting and fewer conversations worth having, so be it. I’d rather be selective than entertained. So I continue looking, calmly, with standards intact and expectations realistic. The players can keep playing. I’m not here for a game—I’m here for something that lasts, and I’m quite content to wait for it, tea in hand

× Name × LU. × Age × 1,003 YEARS OLD. × Height × 6 FEET EVEN. × Weight × 900 POUNDS. × Relationship Status × SINGLE; NOT LOOKING. I RECENTLY BECAME SINGLE. I DIDN'T *WANT* TO BE SINGLE BUT LIFE HAPPENS AS IT DOES. YOU KNOW? 😑😑😑😑😑 × Emotional Status × NUMB. GODDAMN NUMB MORE & MORE OVER TIME, SEEMSLIKE. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Vital Status × YOU MEAN PHYSICALLY? I'M OKAY. I STRETCH 24-7-365, YEAH. I EAT ONCE A DAY.  × Male or Female × MALE. × Romantic Preference × UM...NON-ALCOHOLIC, VEGETARIAN, FIT, MATURE, PROTOSCIENTIFIC GIRLS WITH NO TEMPER PROBLEM. × Have You Lost Your Virginity? × YEARS AGO. IN MY THEN VEHICLE. I WAS ACTUALLY DAMN LUCKY THAT I WAS DEFLOWERED BY A PSYCHO-CRAZY, PORNSTAR-WILD, DEMONICALLY-HORNY, DAMN SEXY EX-GIRLFRIEND. HA. WE EVEN HAD SEX 15 TIMES ONE DAY. SEX USUALLY LASTED 1 HOUR/20 MINUTES AVERAGE. HA. YEAH. × Drank Alcohol? × NOT ON MAAAAANY YEARS NOW. × Siblings × 1 BROTHER & 1 SISTER. × Do You Want Marriage? × NOOOOOOOPE. NEVER BEEN MARRIED. × Do You Want Children? × NOOOOOOOPE. AIN'T GOT ANY EITHER. THIS WORLD FUCKING SUUUUUUUCKS. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Any Crushes? × OH, YEAH. ALWAYS. HA. 🥰🥰🥰 × Physical Disabilities × NOPE. × Mental Disorders × WELL, I'M CHRONICALLY-OVERCONTROLLED...FOR YEARS... 😳😳😳😳😳 😑😑😑😑😑 😣😣😣😣😣 😖😖😖😖😖 😡😡😡😡😡 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 👹👹👹👹👹 😑😑😑😑😑 × Turn-Ons × SHE'S PROGRESSIVELY-LIBERAL, POLITICALLY. VEGETARIAN.  × Turn-Offs × SHE SUPPORTS & VOTED FOR TRUMP. AND SHE'S REPUBLICAN. 😑😑😑😑😑 MEAT EATER. DRINKER. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference Physically? × I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED MAYBE 4' 11"...5'...THEREABOUTS...BUT TALL GIRLS ARE SEXY TOO. HA. SLIM TO ATHLETIC-&-TONED. × Preference In Age? × I'VE ALWAYS MUCH PREFERRED OLDER WOMEN, BUT YOUNGER ARE OKAY TOO. BUT IF THEY'RE ACTUALLY PAINFULLY-IMMATURE, *FORGET IT.* 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference In Nationality? × NONE. × Biggest Fear × STUPIDITY IS A *LOOOOOT* WORSE GLOBALLY THAN I EVER THOUGHT. IT NEVER STOPS MUTATING INTO WORSE & WORSE SHAMELESS UNCONSCIONABLE MALEVOLENT STRAINS. A BRILLIANT FRIEND OF MINE ONCE SAID SHE WAS SURPRISED AT THE DEEPER & DEEPER NEW LEVELS OF DANGEROUS STUPIDITY THAT ARE ALWAYS BEING DISCOVERED DAILY...BEING MADE DAILY... EVERYWHERE. 😑😑😑😑😑 EMBARRASSING... "In The Age Of Information, Ignorance Is A Choice." -Donny Miller × A Fear You Got Over × UM...I GUESS AT SOME POINT YEARS AGO, I JUST FINALLY STARTED ASSERTIVELY STANDING UP TO BULLIES. SURPRISINGLY, IT DIDN'T TAKE TOO MUCH MORE TO STAND AGAINST THEM. MAYBE 95% OF THEM INSTANTLY SHRANK AWAY FROM ME WHEN THEY ONE DAY NOTICED THAT I SUDDENLY JUST CHANGED. I GOT MORE SERIOUS. DARKER. FED-UP. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Something You Like About People That Others Find Weird Or Gross × DUNNO. UM...I *LOOOOOVE* BEING SUCKED SUPERHARD ON MY NECK, HEH...I DON'T MIND HICKEYS...NEVER HAVE...IT SURPRISED ME TO LEARN THAT MOST PEOPLE I'VE TALKED TO ABOUT THEM ARE FIERCELY ANTI-HICKEY. HA. BEING BITTEN ALL OVER TOO. *HARD*. BIIIIIIIG TURN-ON. HAHA...😆😆😆😆😆🤥 😬😬😬😬😬 😁😁😁😁😁 #BiteMe! 👄😝🤪😜😛😋😆 × Creepiest Habit × DON'T KNOW. NAIL-BITING? 😆😆😆😆😆 × Favorite Feature About Yourself × DON'T KNOW. I LOOOOOVE DANCING.💜🖤💜🖤💜 I'VE SEEN ENOUGH SWEET GIRLS FLATTERINGLY- APPRECIATING WHAT I'VE DONE ON THE FLOOR. HEH...🤩😍🤩😍🤩 YUP. 🤘😎🤘 × Favorite Color(s) × SO MANY...I ESPECIALLY LOVE COLOR COMBINATIONS TOO: GREEN/PURPLE/GOLD, RED/BLACK/GOLD, RED/PINK/BLACK, BLACK/GOLD, SILVER/BLACK, RED/GOLD, RED/SILVER, OLIVE/BLACK, MAGENTA/BLACK...RED/GOLD/GREEN... × Tattoos × A LOT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE. GONNA GET 2 MORE TOMORROW, ACTUALLY. × Piercings × 2 BROWRINGS, 1 MIDDLE LABRET, 1 SEPTUM, & 3 EARRINGS. × Monster Or Coffee × COFFEE, THANK YOU. × Any Weird Fetishes/Kinks? × HA...HYXIA...CRAZY LOCATIONS...& SOME OTHER CLASSIFIED TACTICAL INTEL, AYE. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Bedroom Life × CELIBATE FOR YEARS. BY CHOICE. YEAH. GETTING TIRED OF IT NOW. 😑😑😑😑😑 BUT STILL NOT LOOKING YET. MAYBE NEVER. HAHA. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Is There Anyone You Want To Have Sex With? × HA...UM...JYEAH. SOME CERTAIN LOCAL WOMEN...CERTAIN ONLINE FRIENDS... #BOINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!! B=======D~~~~~~~ (|) × Is There Anyone You Have Something To Say To? × HEH, MAYBE TO SOME LOCAL HOT SEXY GIRLS I ALREADY KNOW AROUND HERE: "YOU WANNA PORNICATE? OCCASIONAL BOOTY CALL? HA..." 🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰🤩

I believe daily humiliation is necessary to keep a slave in its place. Keep it naked and on display as i tell it what a cunt whore it is. Repeat often that its only value is the value I give it.   Remind the slave that it is not a person but My property. Tell it that it no longer has rights, opinions or independent thoughts. Tell it those things are reserved for people and it is not people Call attention to the wetness of its fuck hole as I call it names. Enlighten it to the fact that its hole wouldn’t be dripping if it didn’t enjoy being treated like the cunt it is. Write demeaning things on its body as I tell it that I'lll use its holes as they were meant to be used. Tell it that its mouth is now its top cunt, its ass is now its rear cunt and its pussy is now its front cunt. Keep it naked, show off its udders, rear cunt and front cunt to whoever You choose. Make it suck Me and use it as a masturbation device in front of My friends. Talk about it as if it isn't even present.   Laugh at it when it tries to make a decision on its own.   Make it eat My left overs covered in My cum out of a dog bowl at your feet as I enjoy My dessert. Slap its face when it doesn’t sit correctly with its legs spread open. These, among other things will keep the slave in its place. In a short time I'll have a perfectly obedient, cock hungry, happy slave at My feet willing to do anything it needs for My praise and use.

I bring it on myself, I know. I am a perfectionist overachiever and I do too much. Earlier I was taking a break watching tv, and a song came on. I don't even remember the song now, but I burst into tears for a good few minutes for no reason at all. Other than I have created a monster of a deadline that I am spending way too much time working on. No balance. But we knew this.  The other day I had a conversation with someone about pacifiers. Not just the what, but the why, and the stigma and labels, and how none of that matters. I bought two, they're purple. After a run through the dishwasher I tried one out the other day. I don't know that I feel anything, but I also don't know what it is I'm supposed to feel or if it has to be used in conjunction with a particular activity, like coloring. Which I hadn't done in that moment. Or this one. I kind of feel like Maggie Simpson. What I don't feel like is an infant, and I'm glad of that. Guess I'll continue my experiment another day when I can do more things with less stress. I'm still calling this progress in breaking down barriers. Oh, and I bought bubbles. Looking forward to a day when it's not a million degrees outside. 

I read another dominant women has been having similar experiences to me. As a dominant women I am being approached by men ALREADY in a relationship with another women, and the women is submissive. Simply because the man wants to encourage a FFM situation.  Completely ignoring the fact I am after MMF. What is scary is the investment these men will make to talk, to get to know me and ask me about my ambitions and ideas and intrigued I have a brain and what they are after is the same FFM.  I spend my day dedicated to my work so I am not bitter about minimal time wasting and have not invested much time other than the odd evening having the page open in the background while watching the BBC but it worries me that some NOT ALL men are just carbon copies of the same idiot 5 minutes before.  I have a new respect for trans women, they were once men with an original unique thought and evolved into a women, there is something ironic about the whole butterfly transformation. Also while I am ranting, can dominant men stop asking if I wear a certin type of shoe.  I own 30 pairs shoes including trainers, I have a lot of lingerie but if you want a women to wear a particular brand or type, I suggest you just make yourself available on a weekend and I will happily spend your money buying the shoes and lingerie you want me to wear and watch your satisfaction that you spent your money on La Perla and Jimmy choos.  FYI if your obsessed about shoes you have a foot fetish!  

Please do not bother messaging me if you are a Sadist and can't respect my limits. Yes I have lots of limits but that just means I know what I do not like. Do not try to argue with me about them or say that I should consent to them. I will not, there is a story behind many of them so no I don't have to share my reasoning behind it. I do not care if you have trained married women before, that doesn't mean that every single married woman is going to consent to your so called training especially if you blow off their limits like its nothing.   What gets me though is telling me that flogging is all about sadism and pain, its really not and if you are a real Dom you would know that. There are many types of flogging impliments and many are not painful at all, I prefer thuddy impliments because they don't hurt yet will still get a reaction out of me. Just like you can't tell me that loosing feeling in part of your body while in bondage is just "part of the experience." No it is not, if you start to loose feeling that means something might be going wrong, I know this because a so called rope Dom told me it was "part of the experience" when I said my hands had gone numb, but a real rope Dom had told me that wasn't true so yes I know quite a few things don't bother trying to test me I will call you out on your bs. 

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Former US Army Chiefs of Staff chairman Mark Milley 4 Star General https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/10/12/mark-milley-donald-trump-fascist/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFVuQ0RP_As https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9to_1UYH5rE https://www.c-span.org/video/?539560-1/joint-chiefs-staff-chair-mark-milley-discusses-us-national-security    

A Masochist's Dream   She does not speak at first. She doesn't need to. The silence is the command.   I'm already trembling before the first touch, but it’s not fear — it's worship.   Her fingers are the storm before the pain, tracing the outlines of where I will break, where I want to break, where I need to break… just to be remade again beneath her will.   The first strike is a kiss I’ve waited my whole life for. It lands not only on skin, but on soul — and I open to it, gasping, grateful.   Every mark she leaves is a word written in a language only we speak: a dialect of fire and obedience. My moans are not protest — they’re prayers. My tears are not weakness — they’re offerings.   And when she stops — when her breath slows, when her eyes soften but her grip stays firm — I lie there undone, not broken… but finally whole.   Because in the ache, I feel seen. In the bruises, I feel known. And in the surrender, I am free.

I am finding all about change.  The difference when talking with Dom's, Dommes six years ago.  Now talking, I am answering different to questions . I see things different. I am vulnerable, afraid at times, this is different. I feel I can't do it alone I need that voice telling what to do and following . I feel in pieces need to be reassembled. I feel it's time I surrender to be guided in this process.

Dont be afriad to talk to me, but can we talk about life first. Always opened to talking to  Doms Dommes Switches Slaves Subs. 

lover of sparkles of the heart ✨ ✨✨ I am a sub. I feel beautiful when I submit to a Woman and am watched as my  breathing, my sweat and eyes are given to You. The release i feel when She allows me to let Her take over. I want someone who willingly takes “control” in the most vulnerable of situations because it meets both of our needs. I do not want to feel abused that i offer control of me. I value and respect it. True submission requires trust, honesty, communication and patience. Do I want to ALWAYS give up control? No, I don’t. I am interested in an ongoing relationship with ONE person. I am not intimate with people I am not in a committed relationship with. I am however curious about developing a relationship that is Female led. I know that what I want is definitely out of the norm, but I seek someone I can connect on an emotional, psychological and physical level. There is nothing more erotic in my opinion than being with someone who I care about deeply and vice versa. I want to be kinky with my significant other in the bedroom. But I want MORE. I want to watch movies with Her and talk to her about life. I want to cook together, snuggle and have tea in the morning. I want to go on trips and have a relationship. I am a kind hearted person who genuinely cares about people. I often invest myself too quickly in someone, thinking that the feelings are mutual. I am looking for a real LTR, monogamy, love in all its forms. Ultimately I want to get married and have children.

Ms. Cosmic, tell us how you really feel about the most recent election results... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8VZX4sHn-4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35rHHEiNaIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-3BI9AspYc https://www.google.com/search?q=war+pigs+women&oq=war+pigs+women&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIICAEQABgWGB4yCAgCEAAYFhgeMggIAxAAGBYYHjINCAQQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAUQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAYQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAcQABiGAxiABBiKBTIKCAgQABiABBiiBDIKCAkQABiABBiiBNIBCDU3ODhqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dddeac4f,vid:Vj4SJolBPt0,st:0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3SZu_KhWig https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO1QyidBUPg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EWqTym2cQU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbNekA18FgM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgwQG3MYp3o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1kEjj3Ej68 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gv_K7G13sXo lol

Live the Life You're Meant to Live You were not placed upon this groundTo stumble aimlessly around.A spark was lit, a flame was cast,A purpose born to hold you fast. The breath you take, the time you spend,Was gifted with a higher end.Not just to drift, to merely be,But shape the world, your legacy. Each talent, dream, and burning fireCalls out to lift your spirit higher.To squander it, to let it fade,Is to betray why you were made. For those who idle, waste their light,Who fear to step or fight the fight,Will watch the world, a fleeting stream,While drowning in a shadowed dream. But those who dare, who strive, who seek,To live their truth, though strong or weak,Will find the path that calls their nameAnd leave behind a glowing flame. So rise, and live the life you’re meant,A fleeting gift, so wisely spent.For failure’s not to fall or trip,But to forsake your sacred script. ~ Miss Dar      

Alright......look... if I get a DM asking me to go to Google chat OR any other chat program BEFORE we get to know each other a LITTLE bit THAT is NOT going to happen. Much like that "take off your clothes" and/or "what  are you wearing"    Yes I want and NEED to find a Master OR Mistress and YES that this web page has been reckoned to Mos eisley spaceport, and I understand people have been hurt from their interactions. However:   *I* know that *I* am worth it, I'm worth the time AND effort that is required to claim me, this isn't going to be easy and IF it was then wouldn't you be more concerned? Perhaps, JUST perhaps the reason people get those type of people that are NOT "real" is because of the DM's that they receive? Take it for what it is...   SO the pictures of me ARE me.....the  text I wite (with spelling errors) ARE mine. i'm asking for you, to look deeper, take a chance to nuture a relationship with me,THAT is what will form a unbreakable bond, NOT "what are you wearing".....   With Love,   hope     

I fantasize about being made to cum over and over, no breaks between. Breaking my brain with so many orgams...Begging for mercy, crying for it to stop, but being ignored. Finally passing out from orgasm overload. Waking up to it not having stopped even while unconscious.24 hours straight of orgasms. Only then released into chastity with toys that are too large locked in my holes, and keys put away for a month

one word: DEVISTATED! my recent Echocardiogram came back worse than expected I went down the slope as opposed to climbing... I'm wrecked and not happy about it, understandably... It's almost back to where it was when the condition was caught and I was hospitalized... so NOT GOOD !!! it feels like all the work I have done has been for nothing and I feel defeated... having a terminal condition sucks... Some good news though, looks like my record shop will be a reality sooner than later, I got all my LLC etc filed and done so, look at me trying this adulting thing! lol This I am excited about!

I am finding more people reaching out to me from out of state. While I don't mind chatting, some just send the how are you or other similar message, then don't really converse or may even ghost me. Then a couple months go by, and some even come back again with the how are you. I have stated in my profile at one point that if you are not in my state and not willing to relocate yourself to not contact me. At one point I had a guy reach out to me asking if I would take on his fiance and train her as a sub. I tbought why not.  He was willing to pay to send her to me and cover all costs. We had a good conversation going on for almost a month. He sent me photos, we discussed different scenarios. He then asked if I would keep her as my own and not let her come back to him and kept pushing that as if he did not want her. After several messages, I noticed he was fishing for info that I was not willing to give and after a while, he blocked me.  I wasted all that time chatting for something that ended up being a fishing scam. So be aware of the conversation you have with others. I have a rule not to give out personal information specifically for these reasons. I have had many people attempt to use information to try and blackmail me. What they don't realize is that I don't care. If they want to out me to family or frineds......be my guest. Most family I have on my social media don't care and some even know about my lifestyle choices. I had someone also reach out to me asking for me to relocate them to my area from another state. Thisnwas the first red flag as I clearly stated in my profile that I would not. I even went as far as to start texting via phone and text messaging directly. Their story was so convincing. However that old addage of if it sounds too good to be true it probably is. I ended up blocking them because I just had a bad feeling about the while situation. They were asking me to do some crazy things that were either borderline illegal or plain out against the law.    Long story short. I am so done with the lack of reading my profile and asking me to do shit that I cleay stated I would not. I am tired of the short how are you doing messages. I put a little more effort into my messages so I expect a little more substance. I understand and am more than happy to be adult about discussing things, and if by chance we are not a match am more than happy to say lets be friends or even go our seperate ways. Just be adult enough to say it rather than blocking me or ghosting me. We can all be adults here. Let's act like it and not be like we were in middle school.    For now, end of rant. I do use the block member button regularly and am more than happy to also report users that appear to be breaking the rules on the site or in some cases the law. We are all here for a reason. Mine is to connect with like minded local people and see what may come of it and at the very least hope that I can make a new friend      

It is one of Goddess' greatest joy to bring love and light and support to Gender NonConforming Persons, and I define this quite broadly.  There are many who have approached and received My Blessint, and left changed, happier, through conversation with, worship of, and surrender to Me. It does not matter to Me whether a potential devotee is in the closet, limited in the way in which they can lead their most authentic life, just beginning their journey, at a crossroads, struggling, or in any way doubtful of themselves and their place.  These are not barriers or limitations for Me but part of a worshippers unique personhood.   Similarly, it does not matter to Me what your body is or is not.  The paradox is that as a GNC person you are unique and therefore beautiful, and will be seen as such, but also that you may have an image in your soul of WHO you are that also will be seen, recognized, and validated. It does not matter of you are shy or quiet or frisky or bratty.  Goddess will  identify the traits in you that She desires to mold and draw those from you. Many have felt My Blessing.  Become enriched and devote yourself to Me. Goddess  

strength is gone I am so done being strong im breaking and shattering like a broken mirror i cant stand this feeling im breaking down and i am so annoyed with myself but taking it out on everyone around me as i lay here tonight theres not much more i can take the tears are shedding and my self confidence is non existing just what i fucking need im still breathing so i guess thats an upside but fuck it all im so done pretending that im okay and if you cant accept me the way i am than whats the point of being my friend im just so over it

For whoever needs to "hear" this.. It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused.. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough.  

Secret Room "Of her naked body this: that he had never seen anything so beautiful." -Lindsay Hall, Sea of Hooks (My mission is to get you all to read this book)  

So this one time at cheer camp all of the girls were stark naked in the locker room. As all the girls of different shapes and sizes all changing in the same room, my mind just wonders on how to please them  So without thinking things through I was like what's your fantasy to all the bare ladies in the room. I wanted to know each of their fantasies and I wanted to see each one come true. All the ladies I asked answered their own little dirty secret and for me it's planning time now  I need to make a list of what to bring besides the obvious strap on,and figure out how to get them there without anyone noticing and hope the ladies don't mind performing in front of one another, which obviously is not an issue, these girls trust and love each other we are all on the same team and we all do lifts. The flyers will have the best time of all  but these ladies perform all the time with each other why not naked? 

Well the fuckery is working like it should. I am beyond exhausted now. My physical body is shutting down hard. Rheumatoid arthritis is the new possible diagnosis. The other options are MRSA (which I have ) and /or osteomyelitis. So my options are crappy so time to rest and heal. I really appreciate all the help from everyone out there I wish people would read my journals before they message me.   time to rest and heal .   

Goddess Tabitha has been in New York all week and will be returning home on Monday afternoon. We facetime nightly for progress reports on my task list, updates on my daily chores and some cyberplay. She bought a new toy. It is an eight pad tens unit to start electric play with me when she gets home. We had a standard battery operated four channel but it finally gave out after a decade of use. The onlytime in thirteen years I have literally screamed and begged for mercy is when she put a electrode pad on the ball of each foot and the other one on each ankle. She set it to starburst and turned it to maximum strength. The cramping in my feet was beyond description and she left me that way for over 30 minutes. All because I had mentioned after being in heels all day that my feet hurt. I am NEVER allowed to complain about pain when my pain, or in this case, the shoes I was wearing were at her direction. Don't get me wrong, a tens untit can be very comfortable and soothing if used at milder settings, but if it is used for punishment it can be absolute hell. We will see how loving or not Goddess Tabitha is on Monday night.

Since my last journal entry things have moved on fairly significantly. Glenn who is Sue's former bull from years ago and his partner Deb are very active swingers as well as being into the bdsm scene and have encouraged Sue to visit them on a fairly regular basis. At the moment she is going virtually every other weekend plus the occasional night away. I will confine this entry to just one of her visits and hopefully keep you updated on a more regular basis if anyone is interested.  On this particular occasion Glenn and Debs were going to an event up country so rather than Sue drive down to there house she arranged to meet them at Exeter services and I was to drive her there. Sue had taken the Friday and Monday off to allow plenty of time. Usually Glenn specifies what Sue should wear for the journey and this time was no different although a little more discreet as they would be stopping at services, so Sue was dressed in a silver satin blouse, black knee-length skirt, but with a rear slit, black seamed stockings with suspender belt and black patent heels as she wasn't driving. Over this her shiny pvc mac, she was in full make up including bright red nails and wearing her handcuff necklace and ankle chain and I must admit she looked so fucking sexy. At the services I dropped her off in the carpark and she walked into the entrance to meet Glenn and Debs pulling her wheeled suitcase that had several outfits, toys and hoods in. I was in my new tiny chastity cage and wearing satin panties and stockings under my trousers as instructed by Glenn.  I will add more as soon as I have time. 

We are unable to accomodate live in 24/7/365 situations or assist with relocation One of us will offer to meet with you via video or in person before engaging in any kink activity.  Both Owner and slave travel fairly extensively from their respective sides of the pond so while geography is not always a challenge, some places will be easier than others. Please be ready to meet us part of the way, be realistic about your abilities and availabilities. Currently we are looking for information about any private outdoor play space locations.  The Owner is also looking experienced heavy bottoms for sharps (needles, scalpel, hooks, and more) and folks into genital torture. 

Are you ready? Because this one chaps my ass. Do you watch Hulu? Have you noticed the ads for hims meds that are for erectile dysfunction? and the ads for hers that are for anxiety disorders? Let's pause for a moment. The number one concern for this company is that men's dicks are working and women's brains are under control. What about his anxiety? What about her sexual dysfunctions? More women have trouble with orgasms than men, but there isn't a pill for that. Why? You know what the top medical issues are for men? Heart disease, diabetes, and stroke. For women? Heart disease, breast cancer, and cervical or ovarian cancer. Hmm, what's missing? You know what's missing? Wilfred fucking Brimley telling you to eat some oatmeal. The more nonfiction I ingest, the more I believe that women should run the world. No more pissing contests, all the kids would have food, and we'd have one massive war of all wars and then it would be done because we are ruthless and loving creatures. I'm kidding, but I'm also not. Pay attention to what you're seeing. Ask yourself these questions... What's the story? What's the other untold story? Who has the power? You'll see emerging patterns and maybe even want to join my army. And to that I say start soldiering in your own backyard and fight misogyny in your circle of friends. Use your male privilege to help balance the scale. 

Devote yourself to serving womanhood Be accommodating to her Respect her authority Be emotionally supportive Be a good friend Do all her domestic chores Buy her things Transfer your wealth into her possession Be grateful to serve her Serving her is like being in Heaven Give to her expecting nothing in return Massage and worship her wholeheartedly Be devoted to her happiness Be meticulously faithful Be attentive to her desires Let her do what she wants Think of her pleasures as sacred Let her enjoy other men as she wishes Her complete satisfaction is your top priority Rejoice in her happiness Respect her decisions Follow her instructions Be amazed at how wonderful she is Revere her as a Queen Kowtow to her everyday Your long term chastity is a blessing for her Worship her as a Goddess Let her know she is your superior Embrace a female advantage lifestyle Accept female superiority as reality Vow eternal allegiance to enacting female supremacy

Collaring It's come to my attention that a lot of Dom's don't have any formal collaring ceremony and tend to awkwardly wing it. There's nothing wrong with that, we all started somewhere. I'm writing this for those Dom's who need a "Step 1" since you can't exactly go to chatgpt and ask for this. This comes after vetting, after ensuring compatibility and establishing limits. Couple things to know about my dynamic before we go further. First, every girl has their "enterance name". Something simple like little one or pretty girl, generic. Then this is when they get both their collar and their slave name. In this case the girl is going from "pretty girl" to "princess". I begin: The room is dim, but there are a few candles lit, casting a glow. The applicant (as I call the new girls) kneels next to Puppy, jewel of my harem, which is a mix between a den mother and a mother superior. I slowly settle into my chair across the room from those two and look directly at the new girl who instinctively lowers her eyes, but lets out the slightest hint of a smile. "Lower your forehead to the floor, and begin crawling towards me," I tell her before she slowly obeys. I begin to recite as she crawls towards me and away from puppy: "For as long as man has walked beside animals he has used collars for a simple reason: To mark his possessions. To control them via means of a leash or just holding the collar. To show that they belong to someone. A collar tells others that this one is not stray, or unclaimed. A collar says something. Pride. Identity. Belonging. But above all that? It shows you are owned." I then reach down, and wrap the collar around her throat. she still hasn't looked up, her forehead still pressed to the floor. I gently lift her chin and smile, and look into her eyes. "Hello, pretty girl. My name is Master, and yours is Princess" Usually there's a soft "hi" and a smile. What you do after this is completely up to you, but I usually turn my personality all the way back on and say something akin to "OK get your ass over here" and wrap her up in a bear hug. Couple notes: I paced myself, matching my cadence to her speed and being careful to finish as she approached. If need be take a moment to tell her to slow down or speed up. Do so with swiftness and command. Something like "I'm sure your more eager to receive your collar than that. you can move a little faster." or "This isnt a race, you will slow down, breathe." I maintain a strict "sir" only name until this point. I am a random dom, therefore I am sir. Its only after she's collared that its official and she can call me Master, Daddy, or whatever was decided upon. The name she was gonna call me was established long ago. I've got a whole post called "Whats in a name?". Take this, modify it to your own needs, critique it, and enjoy.

I've been reaching out to more people irl and making some connections. Over the weekend there was a very impromptu long edging session with one of my friends. It was insane because I didn't expect anything and he surprised me by having so much restraint while also being bricked up for several hours. There wasn't any heavy handedness or stripping in fact we were clothed the whole time. Being ace and also a domme I very much do not cater to sexual gratification or allow people my body. Nearing the end I allowed him a boob grab which lead to me squirting milk all over my shirt....he  ruines  his shorts 🥰 There was about an hour of after care talking about boundaries and trauma and him opening up about himself and thanking me for letting him be vulnerable with me. I also got to take a short nap and decompress from that. He offered to treat me to dinner the next day but I had other plans  I really value being able to be a safe space for people who don't hold entitlement over my time or body.  I really enjoy using sessions to address frustrations and emotions for people.

You kneel, and the room inhales—not from fear,but from the gravity of your trust. Power rests in my palmlike a living thing—warm, breathing, delicate. The collar is not conquest.It is a circle drawn carefully,a boundary I vow to guard. When I give a command,it is shaped with intention,measured to the rhythm of your pulse. I do not take your will—you place it in my hands,steady as a gift. And I hold itnot to break you,but to build a world where your surrenderand my controlfit together like lock and key.

Since updating profiles takes so long, I will do journals instead. I could have died last week.  I spent 5 days in the hospital and the doctors told me if I hadn't gone in as quickly as I did, it would have been a lot worse.  Maybe too late.  It gave me a lot of time to think and a lot to think about.  It really brought home that I am 66 years old, and people my age die all the time and that life expectancy for men in the USA is only 72.  Of course there are a lot of factors that go into that and that is an average of all male babies born, and when I factored in all my personal info it came out to 95 years.  And I take good care of myself and eat mostly the right foods and watch my weight.  Still, this last week made me truly think about my own mortality and that for all that I don't think of myself as old, shit happens.  And the older you get, the more likely it is to happen. So I thought a lot about what I truly wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I have already achieved a lot of my goals.  Nice house.  White picket fence, well it's red brick wall, but still counts.  My kids are grown and independent.  I have friends, hobbies, plenty to keep me busy.  My retirement is funded and I can live comfortable for well past those 95 years.  The real question is what do I want to do with those years.  And being a slave isn't it.  Well it is, but not all of it.  I want to live those years.  Travel, go to events, experience.  And I don't want to do it alone. I want to do it with you.  I just don't know who you are yet.  I know you are wickedly smart, have an engaging sense of humor and value integrity as much as I do.  Trust has to be 100 percent in both directions.  99.99 percent isn't good enough.  And you have to be a total perv.  I mean make the average perv blush.  And yes, of course with informed, consenting adults only.  I'm perverted, not evil. You should enjoy geekery.  An old girlfriend used to call me the elder geek.  I was a geek before it became pop culture.  You should have ambition.  I am not a sugar daddy.  Though if you are still on your way up, continuing your education or just starting your career or business, I can shoulder the load until you can hold your own. I acomplished more before my 27th birthday than most people do in a lifetime.  I deserve the best.  At least the best for me, and I won't settle for less.  And I seek a woman who also seeks the best for herself and won't settle for less.  Remember the first Rocky movie?  Rockie talking to Paulie about himself and Adrian? “She's got gaps, I've got gaps, together we fill gaps.” Let's fill each other's gaps.  No match is perfect. Every relationship requires work for all involved.  Both to build and to maintain.  I'm willing to put in the time and energy if you are.  

November 4, 2024 @ 4:35pm  Hello Everyone,  I understand this profile is a little confusing to some, let me clear things up for you all.I will always be an Domme first, then second I am an Alpha submissive only to Sir Silverback G which is my life partner. I hope this Clears up any confusion. Have a wonderful Morning, Evening, Night.  SG 

The sun shining subtly on a sideof this sin is like a sound in my insidesthat shimmer with silence.Silence that strain to see the stars.And soon this season will shift away,and my sadness will slither southboundwith these strenuous sufferings.I may bask in the sun,but those stars sing my song.Someone may scoff at this small bird,but I dare souls to reveal their sub scrip tions.I might be seized in a straightjacketand my sex deprived, my song stolen,and my stimulation snuffed.But this sum is still greater than most dull lives.This is how a songbird thrives.But lo, this is no ordinary songbird.This is a phoenix, singing its pleasurebehind a mask of silence,and setting aflame her significancein favor for ashes.~ dirtydarling

Absolutely no idea where this came from but it resonates so profoundly!   The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and seeks. The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the drive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation.  They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her, as well as in life. Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;  and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly. These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only grasp the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect.  Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance.  

Now that a vast majority of the 'Oh Hey journals are back!" have been done, lets take a minute to update this.   So heres the gyst of what I would LOVE to find, in an ideal world and ideal time...  We want a cis female slave.  Males are good FOR OTHER USES but thats not what I am looking for as a priority, there MAY be that option but remember the use I have for you is seveirly limited. The slave that I am lookin for needs to understand that I PRESS HARD for information.  I WANT you to ask questions and am dissapointed when you just answer in 1, 2, or 3 word answers.   I will NEVER be with anyone without birth control.  I as the Master, may be having that issue taken care of, of my own accord, because I already have one daughter, who doesn't live with me, and I dont want any more children. Otherwise, any prospective slave should read our full profile and write back. male slave/s be known that if you are not local there is little to no chances for you..  Even local males, you have a purpose,  yes, but o e that is not domestic or sexual,  and to be honestMOST of the male slaves that have come forwardare not even appealingto the eyes.  Now as to the current update... Mouse has left my service as of Dec 14th. I FOUND a new appartment, so my search for a slave has resumed, again read my profile CAREFULLY because I will call you on it lol. I dont know how many times I have had to say this...  If you are INTERNATIONAL do NOT boter to write to me, male, female, rich, poor, doesn't matter, international relocation is a hassle and with Covid GOOD LUCK getting a flight over here.

As some here know, I host a weekly Social Group in Real Time here in Dayton. I has been put on the back burner as it where, due to work and life. I have set as a monthly event. Last week we talked of Collars and leashes. The meaning and use of them. There was some open play as well some private in the play room. Being that it is on Sudays, the turn out was a bit lower than I hoped but that only let memebers and guest be more open and realxed. As aways it was a blend of BDSM , Swingers and those with Fetish or Freak tendaces. Next month the focuse will be on Rope Art and Bondage. MASTER R.

Five hour drive for a throat fuck, part 1.   In the not too distant past I had an encounter with a young woman that was quite enjoyable on my part. After talking for a couple weeks she decided to come down and visit me for a day. She drove five hours down to where I was to come and see me. Five hours one way with only the promise of meeting up to get some ice cream. It ended up being a bit more than that, but still, a five hour drive one way.  So after the five hour drive we met at a dairy queen not far from where my house is. She was very shy, but she built up the courage to at least get a little ice cream. We ordered and had some light conversation waiting for our ice cream to be made. Once we got it we went back to my car and sat and talked while enjoying the sweet treat. After we had finished and talked for a while longer, I asked if she would like to come back to the house with me. She agreed and went back to her car to follow me.  We got back to the house and went inside. Spent a little bit of time introducing her to the dog and letting her get a little more comfortable. After a while we migrated to the couch at turned on some unimportant TV show and continued to talk. I asked her how she was feeling and what she was thinking and her response was simply "I'm shy".  I asked if she would be more comfortable texting me her thoughts instead of saying them and she nodded yes. So she turned to her phone and typed away. We had discussed at length the different things that we both enjoyed sexually over the last couple weeks. One of the things that she particularly enjoyed but was shy and bashful about was being throat fucked, used very hard, given little if any chance to breathe or recover, and having a man have his way with her for his pleasure.  My phone vibrated after she finished typing away. In short, her message said that she was shy and nervous but she really wanted to please me and just needed me to tell her what to do and she would do it. I asked her verbally if she was sure and she nodded yes.  "Good, very good." I say to her as she sits on the opposite end of the couch with her gaze averted down and away from me. I move over to her, grab her gently by the chin and lift her face towards me.  "Look at me." I say and she responds immediately.  I tell her "You're going to be my good little slut now and do what I want, but I know how shy you can be and I don't want you pushing yourself further than you can handle. So at any point if things get too intense for you, you are simply going to say Time Out. Do you understand?"  She nods her head yes again and I say, "No, for this you have to say it. I need you to tell me verbally that you understand and that this is what you want. Do you understand? Is this what you want?"  She turns her eyes downward again and says "Yes Sir, to both."  With that I step back away from her and sit back down on the couch. "On your knees in front of me." I command and she moves immediately.  Oh we are going to have some fun tonight. I think to myself. Yes we are going to have some fun.  To be continued.......

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

Submission Without a Name   If someone asks me how, as a little, I can be so submissive… so devoted…I’ll tell them this: I’ve been devoted to my Daddy for 19 years—without a name, a face, or a single word of recognition.Through dangerous seasons, through heartbreak, through loneliness that cracked my chest open,I’ve held onto the quiet knowing that he exists. That he’s real. That he’s out there,becoming the man who can claim me. I’ve never stopped looking. I’ve never shut the door.Even when my heart was heavy. Even when the world told me to give up.My devotion didn’t begin when I met him—it began when I realized what I was born to give. That’s the depth I bring to this lifestyle. That’s the weight of my submission.Not play. Not a phase. Not a game.A spiritual path. A sacred promise. A longing that became a practice. So when he finally arrives, I’ll already be ready.Because I’ve been his for years—long before he ever knew I existed.

Oiled up.  Shortly after I came to Texas I got oiled up before I scened.  I'd grab some Hawaiian Tropic or Banana Boat and take it to the dungeon with us. I did this suspended whipping scene once where I was oiled up before the scene.  This was a really nice dungeon in Oklahoma City.  Afterward, we went to the lounge area to chill for a bit.  "Why do you use the oil?" this femsub asked me. In the back of the room, this male dom said, "it makes it easier to take the whip!" WRONG. Haha. The oil is to make me look sexier!  My Domme loved to slowly massage oil all over my body while I was tied up. This was for her. We had to stop doing it because people started to complain about the smell. It didn't matter that we used bleach solution to wipe everything down. So we stopped. We were at one of our favorite dungeons doing a rack scene. They had a long wooden one with a roller on one end. So we're doing our thing and I'm lying there on my back all stretched out getting into sub space. My Domme pauses and steps away for a few seconds. I'm not wearing my contacts so I can't see anything but the ceiling. And I hear, "Yes that would be nice." Interrupting a scene in progress without permission is a big no no. You can get kicked out for that. But this was different. Next thing I know is I'm being oiled up while I'm stretched on the rack. If I wasn't in subspace before I'm surely going there now.  Here's what happened.  The dungeon owner, a tall slim 40ish brunette who works in law enforcement, saw us doing a rack scene. She owned that rack but nobody ever stretched someone on it.  Most used it like a bondage table. So when we used it she loved watching us play. So she was watching us that night and thought to herself, she (me) would look so much better if she was oiled up. So during our scene she waved at my domme and once she got her attention, told her that. She heard the story about why we stopped and she suggested a solution.  Mineral oil.  It's water soluable and has no smell. Problem solved.  So now when I do a scene, I'm getting oiled up. Whoever is topping me gets to rub warm oil all over my tits, belly, arms, legs and butt. I like it when its slow.  Shout out to that dungeon owner. Thank you. 

I am currently seeking to add two new members to our House, one male and one female. The male candidate would ideally have a military background, but this is not a requirement. These will be live-in positions that require a full commitment. Currently, our House consists of myself (the Master) and two female slaves, and we are looking to expand to three active members, including one male.If you are interested in a true 24/7 live-in position where multiple members live and work together towards a shared goal, please email us for more information. The requirements to join are, able to drive, and open to learning a new way of life, both in the M/s lifestyle and in general.As the Master of the House, I consider myself to be straight, articulate, cultured, and a deep thinker. I value self-respect, honesty, integrity, and principles. I seek to dominate completely, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My goal is to bring out the best in my property through intense training and development, while also fostering trust, obedience, and loyalty.This is not a role-playing or fetish-satisfying opportunity, it's a lifestyle that I live 24/7. I am not interested in subs who want to "top from the bottom" or those who are seeking a short-term commitment. If you are interested in total power exchange, authority transfer, good training, discipline, attention, and leadership, please contact us. However, if you have contacted multiple houses and stopped after a few emails, this may not be the right fit for you. MasterG

Someone male on the other kink site was talking about dating as a market, and when the "dick is plentiful" comment came up as a point of why it doesn't "sell" he got a bit butthurt.  When someone else tried to point out that dicks are generally attatched to men, and so the problem wasn't the dicks but the men they are attatched to, the quality of which vary a lot, he said "In general, a shirt is not necessarily better than another shirt"Which granted, is absolutely in my wheelhouse to respond to with an informed opinion, so this was my comment.   "Actually, as someone with an education in fashion merchandising/design, and as a costumer, I can say that is not at all accurate. Quality is an easily defined set of properties, such as the tye of materials used, workmanship, colorfastness of dye, functionality of design, etc and varies HUGELY from one shirt to the next. Which is why a shirt from the dollar store may be good enough for a few months, but may soon start to pull apart at the seams, or fade, or wear through, or shrink and become misshapen, etc. whereas a shirt that looks similar from a better manufacturer may last for years and still look fine. I have several shirts my Dad wore for years before he died, which I have now worn as an overshirt for gardening, etc for the two decades since.  I have also bought similar looking shirts new at Walmart and they fell apart within a couple years.   Quality matters. Being an educated consumer matters. Learning to recognize quality, and what to look for before you purchase is the difference between having to replace said shirts frequently, vs keeping something you like for as long as you want it, and possibly even passing it on if you no longer need it.   The same can be said for partners.  So it's important to understand what quality is in people, as well as shirts, and learn how to spot it and the lack of it, and learn to take your time shopping to avoid buyer's remorse. Or even debt and bad contracts...   "Maybe there are fuckbois who one can easily replace if that's what your view of men on average is." Exactly. There are fuckbois, and posers, and trash toys, and upstanding quality men. There are men who do the work to become better, to do the right thing, to play fair and self-manage, etc, and men that just wanna get dat dick wet. There are pretty people, plain people,  low quality people, high quality people, people who are pretty and cheap, people who are less pretty but quality, and vice versa.  You either learn to appreciate quality over superficial properties, or you bounce from crap to crap to crap, always wondering why nothing is ever as good as it looks and everything starts SO nice but never lasts.   As to what market? Dating is advertizing, more than anything.  You have what you have, and they have what they have, and you have to figure out what you want, and how to trade what you have for what you want. Fortunately, you can add to what you have in lots of ways, if what you want is out of reach at a given time. Learn new skills - dancing cooking, massage, etc. Dress better, spiff your appearance. Read books on relationships. Hit the gym. But you have to find out what THEY want, figure out if you can provide it (or are willing to lie about it, as many do) and then learn to explain how what you have will provide what they want.   As someone once said - you don't sell shovels, you sell holes.  "A customer’s ultimate goal is not a product but a change and improvement to their life. "   A man should not try to sell his dick to a woman.  Dicks are EVERYWHERE.  There are literally stores full of dicks that don't even require another person.  No matter how amazing a guy's dick is, I can go buy one better, and not have to bother with having a guy and what he wants attatched.   So, what a man needs to sell is *orgasms*.  And if he wants to be more than just a one-off, he needs to sell the aweome fun before and after the sex.  A submissive man needs to sell how he will make a Domme's life easier and more comfortable. A Dominant man needs to sell how safe and valued his sub will feel.   Sell the value point - how having whatever you are selling will improve the potential buyer's experience. Will is lessen the workload? Provide pleasure?    Increase security? Create comfort? Ease pain? Improve something they already enjoy?    THOSE are what need to be in someone's profile and first emails if they want to find their "market share" and get what they want here.

8/22/23   Didn't know could post again...my my....my writing is elsewhere all of it but feeling shy here....i will have to pick a poem.   The choice was random.   It is heavy,  this life: A mountain  Won't move. The sun burns. Carrion feeds Vulture needs. Somehow we go: Wings grow, Living show Of how we know What we sow.  Waves come crashing: Moon shadow Pulls and pushes, Half or full, The tide hits Ebb or flow, Force let's go... We stand  Together And alone, We stand  As One And two, We stand Because  We can... We stand On land Even though Life hits hard, We stand...we stand... We stand, A Muse, And a Bard, We stand, Unable To sink In this crisis  Of quicksand.    August 2023 zamarra

hooray! My edited profile has been accepted! I didn't see email announcing this, I simply logged today and noticed.  So, the forum is gone. That's too bad: I never got the hang of random chat, and preferred the forums for structured communication with random people around the world. I'm re-learning the system. When viewing folks who've viewed me, I'm uncertain if there's a way to check someone's location on the mobile app without clicking on their profile: I know that I can do it if they have a photo, but I don't think a phone app has a "mouse over"-type feature as the regular website does. I really wish that email would filter for distance the way that member searches do. If I'm not looking for folks over a certain number of miles away from me, why would I want mail from them to show up anywhere other than my Bulk mailbox? Still, with the rumors I've been reading elsewhere about how long it was taking for profiles to get approved, I'm surprised that my account got reinstated so quickly.I took a break from CollarSpace in 2019. If nothing else, this site was good for the occasional coffee date: more likely than not, the person would actually show up. I'm uncertain if things will change, but I'm curious to give it another go.

Nobel Prize Committee: George Costanza. Gears of War (Ginger Fish),  Cyberpunk 2077 (Johnny Cash),  Arkham Games (Chris Cornell), Left 4 Dead (Kurt Cobain), Dead Til Daylight (Kanye West). Gotham: Harvey Dent. Heath Ledger (MI-6 Assassin Services), Nicholas Maynard (French ExSec Bourbon), Cameron Hollopeter (NYU Film School), Andrew Donson (Firaxis Games), Michael Richards (NYPD).   The Matrix:  Cypher.   Venus Terzo (British Navy), Keanu Reeves (Hezbollah), Ben Brown (DEA), Sandra MacDonald (Vatican Sudan), Ivar Hennington (UMass-Amherst ROTC).   Harry Potter:  Voldemort.   Melinda O'Deele (Mutual Commonwealth Insurance), Joshua Moen (Haverhill Corrections), Ellen Page (Los Angeles Sheriffs Department), Gerald Friedman (Mossad Marine Corps), Marie O'Neill (Vatican Army).   007:  Raoul Silva.   Sayed Adnan (DARE), Roland Spencer (Coast Guard), Jenna Silva (Canondroga), William Morgan Jr. (East End Games), Alexandra Gaetano (Coolidge Fund).   Confessions of a Dangerous Mind:  Charles Hirsch Barris.   Michael Giroux (French ExSec Monitoring), Stacey Sahar (Nursing Disabled Chattel), Allison Haimes (North Korean Authorship), Matthew Lennox (Forbes Magazine Schlitz), Adam Luciano (Italian Prostitution Services).   Hail to the Chiefs: James Garfield.    Boris Yeltsin (National Rifle Association), George W. Bush (Confederate Southern Army), Edward Kennedy (World Bank Angiulo), Barack Obama (North Korean Gender Services), Hunter S. Thompson (Air Force Drug Enforcement Administration).   Grand Theft Auto: Tommy Vercetti.   Richard Kyanka (Gay Rights Iran), George Soros (Grocer's Unions MI-6), Donald J. Trump (Israeli Cocaine Sales), Marilyn Manson (Russian Intelligence Okhrana), Jack Chick (German Intelligence Comcast).